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Birth Order: What Your Position in the Family Really Tells You about Your Character
On the basis of over 25 years' clinical experience and psychological research, Linda Blair reveals how your birth order position, as well as the spacing between you and your siblings and the sex of your siblings, impact your childhood, your adult life and your relationships.
Packed with new research and written in a lively, personal style, Birth Order will inform and intrigue. By reading this unique book you will quickly understand yourself, your family and your partner better. It will also shed light on the dynamics of your other relationships, explain why you may repeat patterns within relationships, and suggest helpful strategies for dealing with other people. Chapters cover birth order and what being the eldest, middle, or youngest child reveals about you, the effect of large or small age gaps between you and your siblings, family size, the sex of your siblings, parental attitudes to each child, being an only child, being a twin, the impact of step-siblings, and much more.
Packed with new research and written in a lively, personal style, Birth Order will inform and intrigue. By reading this unique book you will quickly understand yourself, your family and your partner better. It will also shed light on the dynamics of your other relationships, explain why you may repeat patterns within relationships, and suggest helpful strategies for dealing with other people. Chapters cover birth order and what being the eldest, middle, or youngest child reveals about you, the effect of large or small age gaps between you and your siblings, family size, the sex of your siblings, parental attitudes to each child, being an only child, being a twin, the impact of step-siblings, and much more.
193 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2011
48 people are currently reading
320 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
November 27, 2019
The first section of the book is a snapshot of individual characteristics based on birth order. This section is really aligned with mainstream stereotypes about first borns, middle borns, last borns and only children. I didn’t find this part particularly new or enlightening, except for the discussion of the exceptions to the rule (supposedly caused by the gender differences and age gaps among siblings).
The second section of the book looked at other important factors that can skew the personality you were predisposed to have based on birth order. Exploring how major shakeups (divorces and deaths) affect standard birth order predispositions in a family was especially interesting. Furthermore, the discussion on how the introduction of step-parents and step-siblings into a child’s life was very relevant for today’s changing family structure. I really wish the book delved more into understanding the dynamics of not only blended families but also single-parent households.
The last chapter on temperament vs. experience was eye-opening to me, as I did not know which personality traits are considered largely genetically inherited (extroversion/introversion, impulsiveness/reflectiveness etc.) and the ones that are considered mostly learned (presence of ambition, self-confidence, interpersonal and organizational skills). It's refreshing to see how many of the traits people claim to be part of “just how they are” have actually been proven to be learned and therefore changeable behaviours. Perhaps the most interesting part is on the characteristics which scientists cannot conclude are learned or inherent - intelligence, optimism, creativity. Seeing how certain inherited traits can contradict one’s predicted birth order personality or, in contrast, strengthen the personality traits predicted by one’s birth order is truly fascinating. As a first born, I have always been complimented on my linguistic precociousness and effective communication skills. As it turned out, having good communication skills is very common among first borns because they’ve had more undivided attention with their parents than the kids that followed. Similarly, creativity is disproportionately observed in last borns - something the author attributes to being exposed to less parental pressure and having the desire to distinguish themselves against their older siblings. Reading about the fact that even the qualities that are weighted more towards ‘nature’ than nurture are open to modification was really promising, especially for people who aspire to grow as individuals throughout their life.
This is definitely a book that makes you cross-reference the author’s findings against the dynamics of your own family, your parents’ families and your partner’s families. It’s an excellent starting point for understanding your own role in your family and for understanding your key relationships with others based on their birth order and life experiences.
The second section of the book looked at other important factors that can skew the personality you were predisposed to have based on birth order. Exploring how major shakeups (divorces and deaths) affect standard birth order predispositions in a family was especially interesting. Furthermore, the discussion on how the introduction of step-parents and step-siblings into a child’s life was very relevant for today’s changing family structure. I really wish the book delved more into understanding the dynamics of not only blended families but also single-parent households.
The last chapter on temperament vs. experience was eye-opening to me, as I did not know which personality traits are considered largely genetically inherited (extroversion/introversion, impulsiveness/reflectiveness etc.) and the ones that are considered mostly learned (presence of ambition, self-confidence, interpersonal and organizational skills). It's refreshing to see how many of the traits people claim to be part of “just how they are” have actually been proven to be learned and therefore changeable behaviours. Perhaps the most interesting part is on the characteristics which scientists cannot conclude are learned or inherent - intelligence, optimism, creativity. Seeing how certain inherited traits can contradict one’s predicted birth order personality or, in contrast, strengthen the personality traits predicted by one’s birth order is truly fascinating. As a first born, I have always been complimented on my linguistic precociousness and effective communication skills. As it turned out, having good communication skills is very common among first borns because they’ve had more undivided attention with their parents than the kids that followed. Similarly, creativity is disproportionately observed in last borns - something the author attributes to being exposed to less parental pressure and having the desire to distinguish themselves against their older siblings. Reading about the fact that even the qualities that are weighted more towards ‘nature’ than nurture are open to modification was really promising, especially for people who aspire to grow as individuals throughout their life.
This is definitely a book that makes you cross-reference the author’s findings against the dynamics of your own family, your parents’ families and your partner’s families. It’s an excellent starting point for understanding your own role in your family and for understanding your key relationships with others based on their birth order and life experiences.
September 27, 2023
This book was a relatively fast read and easy to understand. I thought that the authors decision to divide the book into two sections helped keep my interest. Part one summarized pretty much any information on birth order that you would see on Tik Tok. Some information, while stereotypical, seems fairly accurate and believable. Part two highlights factors that can impact an individual beyond birth order such as death, divorce, stepfamilies, etc,.
Overall, this book sparks interesting discussions surrounding birth order. I think it would have been interesting to see how adoption can play into birth order and I was waiting to find a section on that topic, but the author did not discuss it.
Overall, this book sparks interesting discussions surrounding birth order. I think it would have been interesting to see how adoption can play into birth order and I was waiting to find a section on that topic, but the author did not discuss it.
May 24, 2018
Brilliant. I’ve always supported the birth order theory. If you want to understand yourself or your children better read this!!!
August 22, 2012
I didn't go out and buy this book, but was given it by a friend after a discussion about people's characteristics.
It was very easy to read and I liked that you could just read about one particular birth order if you wanted.
I learned a lot from reading this and it helped me understand some characteristics I had noticed in people.
I would recommend this to parents - it may help with rearing kids in different birth orders!
It was very easy to read and I liked that you could just read about one particular birth order if you wanted.
I learned a lot from reading this and it helped me understand some characteristics I had noticed in people.
I would recommend this to parents - it may help with rearing kids in different birth orders!
March 12, 2017
I quickly read this after a conversation with a friend and I appreciated the variables the author was willing to mention and how that can alter behaviors. Nothing is set in stone, and it's an interesting theory. But at same time, I wish mention was made of how addictions like alcoholism can change family dynamics as well.
May 26, 2017
I have always been interested about the impact of birth order and was so glad I came across it browsing the library. I can see my family fitting perfectly with the personalities of each child depending on their birth order. Blair also discusses outside influences, or variables, such as death of a parent or divorce/separation can influence a child's personality. This helped me understand myself, my husband, my family, his family, and our growing family.
My favorite quote: "For example, a first born and a last born can very often make a good match: the organised and caring firstborn wants someone to keep in order and to nurture, and the fun loving by rather unorganised and more dependent last born is likely to respond well to someone who offers these qualities.
My favorite quote: "For example, a first born and a last born can very often make a good match: the organised and caring firstborn wants someone to keep in order and to nurture, and the fun loving by rather unorganised and more dependent last born is likely to respond well to someone who offers these qualities.
July 29, 2023
Do you believe that all firstborns are natural leaders? Do you believe that middle children are problematic? Do you believe that all children born last are spoiled brats? Well this novel truly puts that to the test with factual statements regarding this topic. This book, known as Birth Order by Linda Blair, provides insight into what your placement within your family says about you.
In this novel the reader is introduced to different characters along with their birth order positions within their family. Typically the reader is provided with examples of how being in the positions that they are in may affect them in the long run in life.
As well as giving these characters names, an example of this is located on page 43, where the reader meets a girl named Diane. Diane suffered from frequent panic attacks that where caused by anxiety and a lack of attention from her parents. This was due to the fact that she was a middle child of 3. They will provide the reader with certain celebrities who are first born , middle born or the last born. An example of this can be found on page 22 where the book talks about famous first born with examples like Oprah Winfrey. The characters each had their own story making them somewhat unforgettable to the reader. The conflict is how stereotypes are hurting peoples mental health; this is the overall conflict of birth order. While I do believe that this book would appeal to teenagers as well as adults it may not appeal to younger children as it is too advanced. However, this firstborn found it interesting to see how my position within my family may effect lifestyle. So overall I definitely recommend this book.
In this novel the reader is introduced to different characters along with their birth order positions within their family. Typically the reader is provided with examples of how being in the positions that they are in may affect them in the long run in life.
As well as giving these characters names, an example of this is located on page 43, where the reader meets a girl named Diane. Diane suffered from frequent panic attacks that where caused by anxiety and a lack of attention from her parents. This was due to the fact that she was a middle child of 3. They will provide the reader with certain celebrities who are first born , middle born or the last born. An example of this can be found on page 22 where the book talks about famous first born with examples like Oprah Winfrey. The characters each had their own story making them somewhat unforgettable to the reader. The conflict is how stereotypes are hurting peoples mental health; this is the overall conflict of birth order. While I do believe that this book would appeal to teenagers as well as adults it may not appeal to younger children as it is too advanced. However, this firstborn found it interesting to see how my position within my family may effect lifestyle. So overall I definitely recommend this book.
April 13, 2020
Well balanced, scientifically sound, enlightening
Enlightening book for those willing to understand a bit of themselves. Linda Blair explains with prudence and maturity given by experience, the intricacies of birth order and its implications on some of the aspects of your personality, both good and bad. A well balanced book, seriously written. Thanks to Linda Blair for having shared her knowledge.
Enlightening book for those willing to understand a bit of themselves. Linda Blair explains with prudence and maturity given by experience, the intricacies of birth order and its implications on some of the aspects of your personality, both good and bad. A well balanced book, seriously written. Thanks to Linda Blair for having shared her knowledge.
October 4, 2020
Logical, well structured, easy to read. Not hugely in depth, but gives basic principles to work from, while understanding that context and many factors affect character as well as birth order. A good foundation for learning more.
December 8, 2019
A very interesting subject and written in an easily accessible style.
November 19, 2021
Te hoog damesblad gehalte.
March 15, 2022
This was completely new information for me! I never thought that the position in the family can influence our characters so much!! Highly recommend to read to people who likes psychology.
October 15, 2022
Very simplified. As if you can determine how someone will turn out because of their birth order only.
February 5, 2023
I only read my part because what else would a only-child do? 😏
August 10, 2024
Some interesting ideas but I wish there was more support for her statements.
July 25, 2014
This book is fantastic! I love it! It made me think differently about birth orders. Linda Blair is fantastic the book isn't a boring one that would use hard words that you wouldn't understand it is simple and informative. It has case studies where she discuss some of her patients cases. I love the idea of it even in her other books that I'm reading right now called Straight Talking she introduced some of her patients problems. I recommend Birth Positions to everyone. I'm truly happy that I've read this book and hopefully I will the rest of her books
August 19, 2016
Nu e cea mai potrivită alegere pentru prima mea carte de psihologie. Nu am aflat mai nimic nou, sunt lucruri pe care le ştiam şi sunt aproape evidente. Aproape tot ceea ce s-a spus despre personalitatea de prim nascut mi se potriveşte. O să mai încerc şi alte cărţi de acest fel.
June 16, 2013
Interesting book, especially as I see my daughters grow and develop their own personalities.
July 4, 2013
Not what I was looking for in a book about birth order.
August 2, 2013
Birth Order is an intersting book.
October 24, 2013
Best wel interessant om te lezen hoe je karakter beïnvloed wordt door je plaats in het gezin. Bij vele kenmerken van het enig kind gingen er belletjes rinkelen...
March 19, 2014
3.5/5 -- very interesting stuff!
March 21, 2015
I found this title enlightening in my continued search to better understand my role as a parent and also how my experience affects my behavior.
May 3, 2015
Un pò scontato
January 27, 2016
parenting
February 25, 2016
Interesting read. I enjoyed the cases the author included.
February 25, 2016
While reading, I got the feeling this book might be a little too simplified for some critics. Even if so, for me it was a great introduction to birth order and, thereby, did its job well.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews