Driving Lessons: A Father, A Son, and the Healing Power of Golf

by Steve Friedman

When Steve Friedman was a child growing up in the suburbs of St. Louis, the game of golf was, to him, mysterious and dark. His father's passion for it caused friction in his marriage and eluded the interest of his youngest son, who was devoted instead to basketball. For that and many other reasons, the two failed to bond, ultimately leading to an awkward and unhappy relationship.


But Friedman never forgot the love his father had for golf, and after many years, when he was in his
forties, he reached out and asked his dad to teach him the game. He thought that perhaps he could
learn something about his old man's view of life and thereby find a way to communicate with him.

This small volume is the sweet yet unsentimental story of that experience—the tale of two men using
the game of golf to find a way to connect with each other across decades of disagreement and misunderstanding. For anyone who is a golfer, a father, or a son, this book will be a treasure.

128 pages, Hardcover

First published May 10, 2011

About the author

I'm a New York City-based journalist and the author of five nonfiction books: The Gentleman's Guide to Life, Loose Balls (with Jayson Williams), The Agony of Victory, Driving Lessons, and most recently, Lost on Treasure Island.

A regular contributor to Runner’s World, Bicycling, and Backpacker, I've also written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, Esquire, GQ, New York, and Outside. My stories have been anthologized in The Best American Travel Writing and The Best American Sports Writing.

Reviews

[Jennifer]

Short, but sweet, Driving Lessons is not really about golf. The story is about the relationship between a father and son, one that has not be very good. Told from the son's perspective, I think that all Father's should read this to learn from another's mistake. All sons should read this to try and better understand the lessons distance and memory can give.

[Sally]

I'm conflicted about this book. First of all, it read more like a private journal than a memoir. Second, while from page one, Friendman is complaining about his father, it really seems that he dislikes himself immensly and he projects those feelings as if they are coming from his dad.

It's suppose to read as a healing, reconnection, but to me, it read as a self-absorbed middle aged man who refused to get his act together, but wanted his dad to proud of him anyway...for literally doing nothing. While the whole time taking for granted this imperfect man who was his father and loved him deeply.

I guess I missed the "healing" part of this book. And I also guess I'm actually not so much conflicted about it.

[Tim Penenburgh]

Echos of my father. "Driving Lessons" is a great book about a father and his son becoming close of the true gentleman's game. Though it was not exactly the story of me and my father, many times i found my self hearing the words written in my fathers voice. I still remember those time on the range or on the course, learning life lessons through simple tips for my swing or my game. my father and I grew close on the links and i will never forget the look on his face when i told him i had made the varsity golf team. i would recommend this book to anyone, not just those who have struggled getting along with their fathers. great read

[Martin Grayson]

Sad - never managed to connect. Some lessons learned but there was always an obstruction across the road of communication with neither realizing that after it is only after communication is impossible that the missed opportunity is regretted.

[Pete Menzies]

I went to school with Steve. Great to catch up with him