Sorry Maggie Sefton, writing a book is a major accomplishment and I'm sure you're a good person and that people enjoy your Knitting Mysteries.
((Is there a way to "Hide Review Because You Are Mean and Feel Like a Bad Person"?))
But I laughcringed all the way through this. I read aloud passages to Odin as he tried to sleep. Everyone was hilariously white , with names like Kelly and Steve, Greg and Lisa, Megan and Marty, and Burt. Burt! It just cracked me up for some reason. (Only a few of them have any discernible personality at all, so sometimes it's hard to tell them apart, but that doesn't usually even really matter.)
There was also an absolutely SHOCKING lack of, like, clues . No scraps of cloth, no examination of the body, no looking around the trail to find footprints... just a lady talking to a lot of other ladies between times she is knitting and then thinking about the dialogue. Two thirds of the way through the book I just realized there was not a shred of physical evidence for a single thing this CPA/detective was theorizing. Just, like, people telling her stuff.
Also, in addition to be very white, it was also very, like, middle-aged? Lots of stuff about the Dangers and Evils of Drugs and Parties. Hilarious descriptions of the "college campus party scene" where people are just handing out pills and shit, just huge numbers of kids gathered at random houses to sell each other Ecstasy, LSD, and also prescription opiates that not a single person ever uses any kind of slang term for AT ALL. Not even the college kids are like, "how bout them acid/pressers/Mollies/beans/just fucking Google 'slang terms for drugs'." Fucking hilarious. I cannot describe it. You have to just feel it in the writing, the dialogue. Amazing.
But what really fucking got me was how many words there were. Just so many words, guys. Six straight pages about Megan and Marty's wedding and I was seriously thinking, "I hope someone dies as this wedding so there is a reason I am being told everything there is to know about bridal shops in the greater Boulder area and a description of every dress Megan does not choose to wear." BUT we did not even get to the wedding!! It will be in a year!! So, like, the next book? Just, like, WHY?? And on a micro level:
"Kelly watched Megan blush at Mimi's compliment."
No, Ms. Sefton. "Megan blushed."
Holy cats. Just so many words. And A LOT of them about coffee. Too many, definitely. "Likes coffee" is just, like, not a character trait, you know??
I enjoyed not liking this book. Two stars.