Regency Etiquette: The Mirror of Graces (1811): The Mirror of Graces

by A Lady of Distinction, Nadia May (Narrator)

This book, written by a woman who wished to remain anonymous, covers the social customs and manners of her time, the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries, the times of Jane Austen and of Napoleon. It is devoted in large part to the “English lady’s costume” but also covers deportment, movement, the correct dances, propriety, and aids to beauty and health.

The front page opens with a long and detailed summary of what is to be found in the book, including “cultivation of the mind and the Disposition and Carriage of the Body; offering also the most efficacious Means of preserving Beauty, Health, and Loveliness.”

“Naturally, a ‘Lady of Distinction,’ in coy anonymity, has written it. But this book was no joke in Regency times, and much of the advice would have been taken very much to heart….The style of writing of this period can only be described as flowery; everything is padded out with endless adjectives, adverbs, and classical references. So one receives the following advice: ‘Again, I repeat, the libertine, the gross Epicurean, may feast his imbruted gaze upon a form so stripped of decency; for he is a creature whose senses are bent to the earth and the basest offerings are his banquet.’ This, apparently, is the result of leaving too much shoulder showing!”—Anne Woodley, editor, Regency Collection On-Line.

This book will be especially indispensable to anyone interested in the times of Jane Austen, of English Regency, of Napoleon, the early United States, and the War of 1812.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Regency, 19th Century, British Literature, Audiobook, Classics

Audiobook

First published January 1, 1811

Reviews

[Richard Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was interesting - a treatise on a young lady's dress and deportment from the era of Jane Austen. It's easy to see a well behaved but feisty young lady from one of Ms. Austen's novels here, but I was even more surprised by how little had changed over the next 150 years and how much has changed in the 50 years after that. I could imagine 90% of the advice in this book being imparted by my grandmother to my sisters in the 50s and early 60s, with the emphasis on modesty, good manners, natural beauty and grace, though to be fair to my grandmother she wasn't nearly as stuffy as the lady who wrote this book. And everything for the young lady is organized around the goal of attracting an eligible husband. Certainly a lot of the old ideas of modesty, manners and feminine grace have gone out the door in the last 50 years, but the ideas of beauty through simplicity and naturalness still ring true today and could work as advice for young people of any time, place or gender. The more difficult question arises in the idea of making oneself beautiful to attract a mate. Is that truly praiseworthy? There is something that feels wrong doing everything described here to indulge the desires of men, but we all deserve to find our soul mate and if a few of the tricks described here can make that happen, then why not? It's not all about the lurid male gaze.

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was variously incomprehensible, ridiculous, and a fascinating glimpse into the life and times - and mores - of its author, a Lady of Distinction, and her peers.

This Lady, I gather, was quite high-born, and rather well-travelled, and also presumably rather old when she wrote and published this book. The subject matter starts out as a 200-year-old prescription for What Not To Wear (long stays, corsets, clothing in cuts and fabrics that do not flatter your figure), but soon gives way to essays on related subjects such as posture and carriage, accomplishments, speech and expression, and most especially the cultivation of the mind. There is a wealth of information for the modern reader about exactly what is comprised in the making of a woman of quality, and it was by no means trifling. The listing of the laws of precedence - which any society hostess would need to know by heart - made me laugh out loud, probably in relief that I am not required to make my way through that particular social minefield (still in force today). Discussion of all the other considerations of how to best demonstrate one's looks, intelligence and character, in a society much more constrained than the one we live in today, will quickly dispel any illusion that nineteenth century ladies led lives of quiet boredom.

The tone of the writing is often moralizing, and I can well imagine that any young lady given a copy of this book (I think it unlikely that any would have purchased it for herself!) would have rolled her eyes at much of the information and opinion presented within. I could see this book being adopted in high quality ladies' seminaries, as part of the curriculum in preparing young ladies for their place and role in society.

Modesty and moderation in all things is the author's recommendation, even exhortation, and overall her message is timeless common sense, much the sort of thing that mothers of every generation have impressed upon their daughters: dress in clothes that flatters you, and do not show too much skin, lest it cheapen you in the eyes of the other sex; move gracefully and easily, and get some exercise every day; do not drink to excess, or overindulge in the sensual pleasure of food; good looks are an advantage, but on their own they are not enough; cultivate your mind.

[Berna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting in details but extremely opinionated and prejudiced narrative.

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was a wealth of information in this book about what it means to be a woman of value. Yes, you have to wade through some outmoded verbosity, and some seemingly quaint perspective so we must use some discernment and take some of the advice with a healthy pinch of contemporary salt but this is a fascinating opportunity to transcend our present worldview and gain perspective, even a sisterly solidarity with the past. It's delightful that we have this opportunity to see relationships and behaviors through the eyes of a woman of wisdom and experience from so very long ago.

[Sophie Turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

A rather long-winded treatise that can basically be summarized as: dress (and act) your age; wear clothes that suit your figure; and behave appropriately and modestly. There was a rather long and repetitive wind-up to get to these central points -- I've read an 18th century book on midwifery that flowed more smoothly than this. Still, it's useful as a reference book, and available free on Google Play Books.

[Paula · Rating 3 out of 5]

I could easily imagine Jane Austen reading a book like this, and no doubt she would have agreed with much of what it says. Some of the instructions are way out of date; the author mentions repeatedly throughout that a lady must never show too much ankle. But some of the advice is timeless; the secret of preserving beauty is temperance, exercise and cleanliness, and always look your best for those you love the best. But my favorite was "Your appearance is your resume."

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I checked out the audiobook from the library and found it absolutely hilarious! There is nothing quite like listening to a British woman read to you about 1812 etiquette. Perfect background information for any fan of regency era fiction, historical fiction or history. Included are some awesome descriptions of everyday beauty routines that will make you cringe along with several surprisingly relevant tips for todays "elegant young ladies". Nadia May, our narrative voice of the "Lady of Distinction", hits every inflection perfectly, whether it be condescension, joy or horror. I highly recommend this book; definitely encourage everyone to get the audio.

[Adrianna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't finish it at all. I came in with an open mind and with the realization of the time period, along with the basic knowledge of "a woman's duties" during that period. But it ultimately became a chore to read, and when I have to force myself to push through the book that's when it becomes unenjoyable for me. Maybe one day I'll pick it back up but until then, I'm giving this book a hard pass.

[Madison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very interesting book, and several parts were shockingly hilarious.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting glimpse into the lives of women around the time of Jane Austen. Very comprehensive and covering areas of dress, deportment and important female traits.

[Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish to blame Sue Perkins and Giles Coran for this review.

I first learned of The Mirror of Graces from the Regency episode of The Supersizers Goes... which makes for a somewhat an unusual reference for a primary source document about the era. Especially since the main focus of the series was on the food the upper crust of the period enjoyed and very little is said about either the vittles of the day or the act of dining in company in The Mirror of Graces.

Its list of toilette recipes at the end however, did make for some entertaining moments.

Strangely enough, arguably more time is spent on the shape and turn of one's ankle than on what a proper lady ought put in your mouth, particularly in later chapters when it comes to discussing ways to accentuate our best features.

So for the confused contemporary who wonders at the fetishtization of a woman's foot in our modern age, just know, it has historical origins and may well have been fostered through generations from as late at the 1800s, where some "Lady of Distinction" encouraged her audience to entice the discerning male gaze with a flash of a shapely calf.

The Mirror of Graces was originally an impulse audiobook pick, made during a time when I needed distraction. Unfortunately it didn't play well with my brain at the time, due in no small part to the way it was written, making it hard to follow no matter the speed of the audio and harder to hold onto conceptually. So much so that after I finished it, I endeavoured to read the book instead, in the hopes of retaining more of what I consumed.

While I was more successful at reading the contents, I admit to struggling still in part to the archaic style it is written but also the archaic opinions it holds. While it served to inform the reader of the values of the era, much of it holds no relevance to today and many such advice could even be considered prejudicial or discriminatory.

I did take some small irony in how the authoress made much of dismissing and even declaring prior sensibilities in fashion and style obsolete and unflattering. This was a woman not much impressed or partial to past ideals, heralding Regency style and substance with a vehemence that makes me wonder what in her life made her such a supporter of the shift.

It was an interesting read for historical purposes. But it was also not an easy or what I would call an entertaining read. Though it's purpose was to educate the audience and for that purpose, the author's voice served. But for a modern contemporary, it was at time less instructional, more difficult to parse as an explanation.

But I would probably say much the same if someone were to try and explain current fashion trends compared to the ones I grew up in that is no longer considered en vogue.

[Margaret Locke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating look at the prevailing ideas about fashion in the early Regency period. This author sounds much like many of we older ladies, bemoaning how far the younger set has fallen in terms of relaxing standards and engaging in undesirable behavior.

Virtue and modesty are the key points here, and the author discusses at length how these can and cannot be reflected through dress and deportment.

A list of the hierarchal stations of women in the time period, as well as a collection of beauty recipes at the end, provide tantalizing glimpses into a society that feels near and yet far to many of us who love Regency romance.

[Michaela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious.

[Mo]

due bpl on Dec 30.
dowloaded directly to nook thru overdrive
unfortunately, I downloaded audiobook.
see if ebook available.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humorous when read today, but a little frightening when you think that this was accepted advice in 1811.

[Elesuardz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to read it for my University thesis and I ended up enjoying it.