Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing

by Michele Borba

Gain a new understanding of moral intelligence, and a step-by-step program for its achievement from bestselling author, Michele Borba. In this indispensable book for parents, Borba has created a new break-through in conceptualizing and teaching virtue, character and values under the auspices of a measurable capacity -- Moral Intelligence. This book confronts the front-page crisis we now face in our country regarding youth violence, alienation, self-destructive behavior, cold-heartedness, lack of compassion, insensitivity, intolerance and the break down of values. The author provides a new way to understand, evaluate and inspire our kids with the seven essential virtues which comprise moral intelligence.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Education

336 pages, Hardcover

First published May 15, 2001

About the author

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist and an author.

Reviews

[Zohreh Samiei · Rating 4 out of 5]

بهترين راه ياددهي هر نيكخويي به فرزندانمان، سخنراني نيست، بلكه سرمشق بودن است. پس براي كودك خود و همه ي كودكان ديگر كتاب زنده ي بردباري شويد.
ص٢٣٩

[Jill Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved many things about this book. First, no one seems to talk about morals or virtues anymore when it comes to kids and parenting...that is unless they are talking about the latest tragedy on the news and "how could this happen"?? For that reason alone I think this book needs to be in every new parents' bookshelf.

I enjoyed the way the chapters were laid out. One chapter per virtue and then the way she gave examples of each, and showed ways to help you encourage each value or moral lesson in your kiddos. It even lists books, movies or websites based on your childs age for each of the 7 virtues! Great creative ideas! There is a portion of each chapter in which it is geared toward sharing it with your child. My son read many of these little anecdotes and at one point took the book right out of my hands and continued reading it himself!!

As other reviewers have said, it does seem like a lot of the advice is common sense..."If you want your child to have x virtue, than you must model said virtue yourself". I think we all know that. However, Mrs. Borba provides a unique way to understand, evaluate and inspire our kids with the seven essential virtues which comprise moral intelligence. She describes how even some of the little things we say or do each day can affect how our children view the world--from the pan handler on the street corner to recognizing the need for change and standing up and doing something about it, to just simply being kind to your neighbor.

An example...just brought my 11yo to see the movie 42 about Jackie Robinson, the first black man to play professional baseball. Every single one of the 7 essential virtues the author talks about in this book are demonstrated in this one movie. Empathy, Conscience, Self-control, Respect, Tolerance, Kindness and Fairness.

This book conceptualizes and teaches virtue, character and values. It confronts the crisis we now face in our country regarding youth violence, alienation, bullying, self-destructive behavior, cold-heartedness, lack of compassion, insensitivity, intolerance and the break down of values.

A great read for every great parent!

[Hossein · Rating 3 out of 5]

شاید خیلی وقت‌ها از بهره‌ی‌هوشی و هوشِ‌هیجانی و اقسام دیگه هوش شنیده باشیم، اما میشل بُربا تو این کتاب از مفهوم هوش‌اخلاقی و راه‌های پرورش هفت فضیلت اساسی تو بچه‌ها صحبت میکنه:
Empathy, Conscience, Self-control, Respect, Kindness, Tolerance, Fairness
صرف‌نظر از حذف وسانسور ده درصدی متن در ترجمه فارسی و همینطور پرگویی‌‌ها وتکرارهای بی‌مورد نویسنده در قسمت‌هایی از متن، کتاب می‌تونه برای پدر و مادرها و معلما بسیار مفید باشه
راستی فضیلت اخلاقی "تولرانس" رو بهتر نیست به جای بردباری، رواداری یا مدارا ترجمه کنیم؟

[Amir Sahbaee · Rating 3 out of 5]

کتاب میتونست اینقد تکراری نباشه!درواقع یه شکل کلی داشت هر فصل که هربار تکرار میشد و یه بخش های زیادی فقط اسم فصل توش عوض شده بود.ینی بجای "همدلی" تو فصل بعدی بود "وجدان" و این خسته کننده بود
علاوه بر این تاکید خیلی زیادی رو یه مسائل بود که به من این حسو میداد که قراره کتاب پر بشه فقط! مث تاکید روی اینکه خودتون باید الگو باشین،شیوه ی محاسبه ی نمره ی هر نیکخویی که اول هر فصل اومده و چیزهایی اینچنینی
به نظرم میشد این بخش های عمومی و راهنماها نوشته بشن و بعد در تعداد صفحات کمتر هر فصل جداگانه توضیح داده بشه
یکی دیگه از ایرادات کتاب هم این بود که بیشتر تمرینا و توضیحاتش مربوط به محیط خونه بود و نویسنده تلاش نکرده بود مشکلی رو که توضیح داده،برای معلم هم راهکار بده و به معلم کمک کنه برای برطرف کردنش
یه بخش هایی از کتابم خیلی قائل به کنترل بیرونی بود.هرچند که یه جاهایی اشاره میکرد که تا بچه ها دلیل چیزیو ندونن فایده نداره و براشون توضیح بدید و اینا،اما یه جاهایی هی گفته بود که بگین برن تو اتاق بگین از تلفن استفاده نکنن و غیره که به نظرم خوب نبود
و اخرین مشکل کتاب به نظرم غیر علمی بودنش بود.تمام کتاب هی گقته بود که "بر اساس پژوهش ها" و هیچ اشاره ای به منابع پژوهش و نحوه پژوهش نکرده بود و خیلی نتونس اعتمادمو جلب کنه

اما خوبیای کتاب
به نظرم بعضی از مثال های کتاب خیلی خوب بود.اینکه در بیشتر بخش ها از نظر رشدی توضیح داده بود تو هر سن بچه ها چه وضعیتی در صفت مورد بحث اون فصل (مثلا وجدان یا احترام) دارن خیلی خوب بود و درک عمیق تری به ادم میداد
بحثای کتاب خوب و کامل بود.ینی عمده دغدغه های اخلاقی که توی کار با کودک بهش برمیخوریم رو اورده بود
و مهمترین خوبی کتاب این بود که خیلی کاربردی صحبت کرده بود و راهکار های کاملا عملی در مواجهه با موقعیت های مختلف داده بود.
اگر فرزندی دارید یا با کودکان کار میکنید و خصوصیت های اخلاقیشون به نظرتون مهمه و نمیدونید چجوری بهشون جهت بدین و کمک کننده باشید این کتاب گزینه ی خوبیه

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book that gave me examples of how to increase my childs moral intelligence. It doesn't teach you a way to believe, which I liked. It gives ways to implement values in your childs daily life and not in simple obvious ways like be kind to your brother but more in depth and internal ways of instilling values in children.

[Astiazh · Rating 5 out of 5]

شاید بهترین کتابی که در باب کسب فضایل اخلاقی بشه پیدا کرد و خوند این کتاب است چه برای خودمان چه برای ارتباط بهتر با کودک و نوجوان

[Lindsey]

Each chapter deals with a different virtue to teach kids, I made it through the first 3 chapters dealing with empathy, conscience and self-control. Let's talk about the good things before I explain the reason I stopped reading the book. The book is easy to read, very well organized and has things logically ordered into paragraphs that explain and go through the mental and emotional state of kids. The book also got through example conversations of how to respond to kids and walks parents through ways to increase children's abilities and moral intelligence. I couldn't read any further because of the stories at the beginning of each chapter. The stories are true--pulled from the new type things of times when kids exhibited no empathy (like a when two boys threw bricks at a 2 year old and he basically died from his injuries) or times when they didn't have self-control etc...The stories were unnecessary. Any parent would read or watch the news can know the worst case if their child doesn't have emotional intelligence. This is one example of a story, each chapter would highlight 2-3 terrible stories that just left me with a terrible feeling in my stomach. There are plenty of other books that talk about teaching your children about emotions and learning how to regulate and understand others that I don't feel like this is the way to approach the situation.
Summary of what I read. Parents are a model of morality. If the parent lies and the child knows it, you are teaching them that is alright to do so. If the parent, talks about how others must be feeling and tries to put themselves into others shoes, their child will do the same.
I didn't put a star review because I did not finish the book.

[Masi_spacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

هر فصل راهكارهاى تقريبا مشابهى داره
خودت الگو باش
يادش بده
تشويق كن يا جلوش رو بگير
مثال هاى كتاب خيلى خوبه حتى اگه نخوام از خلاقيت خودم استفاده كنم مثال ها كمك كننده ست
از مثال هاى بخش بردبارى كه البته ترجمه ى عنوانش اشتباهه خيلى خوشم اومد و سعى مى كنم انجام بديم
( كتاب آشپزى خانوادگى، آلبوم خانوادگى مخصوص هر فرد و بشقاب كار خوب و ..)

[Hadi Ahmadi · Rating 5 out of 5]

کتاب درباره اصول اخلاقی‌ای حرف می‌زنه که برای زندگی در این دنیا نیازه در همه ما پرورش پیدا کنه نه تنها راهنمای مناسبی برای تربیت فرزندان هست، بلکه درس های خوبی برای خود والدین هم هست‌
اگر خواستید میتونید این کتاب رو از نرم افزار طاقچه دریافت کنید:
https://taaghche.com/book/16341

[Dinda Rahmawati · Rating 5 out of 5]

i love this books

[Norah Al Kasabi · Rating 5 out of 5]

An essential book with great exercises and guidance. I do disagree on some of the core virtues however the book illustrates great logic and conviction.

[Douglas Lord · Rating 4 out of 5]

Writing with confident authority and providing good, current references, Borba offers "a step by step blueprint for enhancing your child's moral capacity"--the ethical compass that charts a youngster's moral fate. She first defines seven intertwining "essential virtues of moral intelligence and solid character": empathy, conscience, self-control (these first three form a "moral core"), respect, kindness, tolerance, and fairness. Ensuing chapters suggest how to incubate, nurture, and master individual virtues using realistic, workable methods. The book recalls Becky A. Bailey's Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation, which frames "loving guidance" in seven-part structures (seven values for living, seven powers of self control, etc.). It's also similar to Borba's own Parents Do Make a Difference: How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring Hearts. All these books have noble goals yet require a high initial investment of energy and time; this is not a quick fix but a way of living. Of course, many of those who really need Borba's book won't read it; if more people mastered these traits, the world would be a different and better place. Recommended.

Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Faye · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book included important information in one spot. I had read or heard of some of the ideas before but it was nice to have a review in one spot. The topics were well researched and included interesting anecdotes. I was bothered by the pessimistic tone about the state of our country. I do think that books like this one will help people to relate and understand one another better. I liked how the book was organized around specific virtues. It had ideas for parents of children of all ages. I would definitely reread this book later and be able to get more ideas from it.

[Patricia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt like this book was confused. I got it because I wanted some ideas about how to encourage moral behavior on our family. And I found some good advice, but I had to dig through depressing... misrepresented statistics, and horror stories recited from newspapers. So much of this book was negative. I wasn't interested in reading a book about how the world is going down hill. I was interested in some instruction on how to help my family. And reading about a molested 2 year old really didn't help me. The beginning of each section is dedicated to the decline of our society.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book as I was teaching first grade. It was a must for all of our teachers to read. It is amazing. It's an especially great book for parents. In fact, I'm thinking about giving this book out at baby showers. The whole thing just makes sense and can be related so easily to Gospel principles. Anyone that has any sort of influence in a child's life should read this book. I loved it!

[Michele · Rating 3 out of 5]

While my little ones were reading their own books, grabbed this off the nearest shelf ("Parenting" shelf in the children's section). Filled with examples on how to apply the "seven essential virtues" in homes with children of any age. Much of it seemed like common sense; I guess even the best of us need an occasional reminder...

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book with many very concrete ideas for how to teach kids values such as Self Control, Empathy, Respect and Kindness. The list of resources at the back of the book also offers many great suggestions of other books/movies for parents, kids, and teens to read/watch to learn about each specific value. This would be a good book to have on hand to refer to often while raising kids.

[Melinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite chapter was the one on teaching kids compassion. I was able to use the information with my child and his friend that I watched numerous times to help them settle their conflicts and teach them to put themselves in each others' shoes.

[Camie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must have for anyone who is a parent! Thanks Kaley for the recommendation!

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent should leave the hospital with this book rather than those ugly diaper bags filled with coupons for things your baby doesn't need. Welcome to America baby!

[Thais · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great parenting book that is easy to read with great side sections to use for mini-lessons as a family or just to help you raise a happy and successful kid.

[Leslea · Rating 5 out of 5]

An important work! Not to be missed! Don't be surprised if you wish Borba would adopt you by book's end.