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The Men We Became: My Friendship with John F. Kennedy, Jr.
For over twenty years Robert Littell was John F. Kennedy Jr.'s closest confidant. Now, in a beautiful and moving memoir, Littell introduces us to the private John. A story of laughter and sorrow, joy and heartbreak, The Men We Became is an unforgettable memoir.
Rob Littell was a freshman at Brown when he met the young JFK, Jr. during orientation week. Although Littell came from a privileged background, it was worlds apart from the glamorous life of the son of the late President and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Eager to be accepted on his own terms, Kennedy admired Littell's irreverence toward his celebrity and they became close friends.
John opened up to Littell on a very personal level, revealing the complex and sometimes tense nature of his relationships with his sister and cousins, as well as his mother's extraordinary influence on John - and how they both worked to keep it from being overbearing. John's marriage had its ups and downs and Carolyn had made enemies of some of his friends, but she was in great shape mentally and physically and they were planning to have children.
Littell recounts wonderful dinners at Jacqueline Onassis's apartment where she surprised him with his favorite dinner of specially burned hamburgers and weekends at her retreat in Martha's Vineyard where she critiqued their touch football while lying on a chaise lounge, her face covered in cold cream and cucumber slices. As students, Littell and Kennedy bummed around Europe. They slept in Hyde Park, sampled the pleasures of Amsterdam, ran afoul of customs officers and almost got busted at the Ritz Hotel for smoking pot. They even shared apartments in New York City until Jackie summoned them to dinner one day and gently suggested it was time to grow up. The two went on to pursue their professional lives. John trained as a lawyer - and Littell speaks of his friend's anguish at repeatedly failing the bar - and then he founded his own political magazine, which seemed only fitting because Kennedy yearned to live up to the family name and accepted that politics would be his destiny. Later on, Littell was a part of JFK, Jr.'s secret wedding to Carolyn Bessette on Cumberland Island, Georgia, and three years later a pallbearer at his funeral.
From shared adventures, private moments and lasting memories, Robert Littell offers a unique look at John F. Kennedy Jr.'s life - one that has never been seen before.
Rob Littell was a freshman at Brown when he met the young JFK, Jr. during orientation week. Although Littell came from a privileged background, it was worlds apart from the glamorous life of the son of the late President and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Eager to be accepted on his own terms, Kennedy admired Littell's irreverence toward his celebrity and they became close friends.
John opened up to Littell on a very personal level, revealing the complex and sometimes tense nature of his relationships with his sister and cousins, as well as his mother's extraordinary influence on John - and how they both worked to keep it from being overbearing. John's marriage had its ups and downs and Carolyn had made enemies of some of his friends, but she was in great shape mentally and physically and they were planning to have children.
Littell recounts wonderful dinners at Jacqueline Onassis's apartment where she surprised him with his favorite dinner of specially burned hamburgers and weekends at her retreat in Martha's Vineyard where she critiqued their touch football while lying on a chaise lounge, her face covered in cold cream and cucumber slices. As students, Littell and Kennedy bummed around Europe. They slept in Hyde Park, sampled the pleasures of Amsterdam, ran afoul of customs officers and almost got busted at the Ritz Hotel for smoking pot. They even shared apartments in New York City until Jackie summoned them to dinner one day and gently suggested it was time to grow up. The two went on to pursue their professional lives. John trained as a lawyer - and Littell speaks of his friend's anguish at repeatedly failing the bar - and then he founded his own political magazine, which seemed only fitting because Kennedy yearned to live up to the family name and accepted that politics would be his destiny. Later on, Littell was a part of JFK, Jr.'s secret wedding to Carolyn Bessette on Cumberland Island, Georgia, and three years later a pallbearer at his funeral.
From shared adventures, private moments and lasting memories, Robert Littell offers a unique look at John F. Kennedy Jr.'s life - one that has never been seen before.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published June 4, 2004
93 people are currently reading
470 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
April 14, 2012
When JFK Jr. died in 1999, I was 12 years old. To be entirely honest, I'm not sure I even knew that a JFK Jr. even EXISTED before he died. Needless to say, this book was not really on my radar... until my aunt handed it to me last week and said, "Here, take this. Let me know what you think!" Having no real choice in the matter, I started the book, which I was assured "reads just like a People magazine article."
Admittedly, Littell is not a Pulitzer prize type of author, but I almost think that's why this book works. I genuinely feel that the book was written, not as a way to exploit tragedy for personal gain, but instead as a means to overcome grief and pain, which Littell implies near the end of the book. Additionally, he seeks to convey the real story of JFK Jr, apart from the sensationalism of the tabloids leading up to, and especially after, his death.
The friendships between men have always fascinated me, mainly because they look so different than the friendships that we forge as women. They seem so much easier, so much more relaxed, lacking the jealousies, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings that so often characterize female friendships. I love the honesty with which Littell communicates the details of his friendship with John - the competitiveness, the good-natured (but still merciless) teasing, and the frank discussions they have about almost everything.
I also appreciate that Littell stays away from topics he admits he knows little about. Very few references are made to the assassination of JFK. Why? Because it's something the author and John talked very little about. Caroline Kennedy is discussed minimally, simply because Littell was not close with her. Even though "Mrs. O," who is more well-known by the author, is talked about often, I never felt that he crossed the boundaries of taste and privacy. Robert Littell shows through this book why he was such a trusted friend to JFK Jr: to him, it's not about the celebrity or the "inside scoop"... it's about getting to know people as they really were, in spite of all the hoopla surrounding them.
Admittedly, Littell is not a Pulitzer prize type of author, but I almost think that's why this book works. I genuinely feel that the book was written, not as a way to exploit tragedy for personal gain, but instead as a means to overcome grief and pain, which Littell implies near the end of the book. Additionally, he seeks to convey the real story of JFK Jr, apart from the sensationalism of the tabloids leading up to, and especially after, his death.
The friendships between men have always fascinated me, mainly because they look so different than the friendships that we forge as women. They seem so much easier, so much more relaxed, lacking the jealousies, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings that so often characterize female friendships. I love the honesty with which Littell communicates the details of his friendship with John - the competitiveness, the good-natured (but still merciless) teasing, and the frank discussions they have about almost everything.
I also appreciate that Littell stays away from topics he admits he knows little about. Very few references are made to the assassination of JFK. Why? Because it's something the author and John talked very little about. Caroline Kennedy is discussed minimally, simply because Littell was not close with her. Even though "Mrs. O," who is more well-known by the author, is talked about often, I never felt that he crossed the boundaries of taste and privacy. Robert Littell shows through this book why he was such a trusted friend to JFK Jr: to him, it's not about the celebrity or the "inside scoop"... it's about getting to know people as they really were, in spite of all the hoopla surrounding them.
February 9, 2015
Robert Littell makes me feel like, well if this guy can write a book, I guess anybody can! So in that sense, it was inspirational. After prefacing this book with protestation about everybody profiting from Kennedy tell-alls, Littell comes off as a bit of an opportunistic goofball. While throwing JFK Jr. under the bus at every turn, (John made the mess that stunk up their frat room, the writer didn't; John had sex with the Amsterdam prostitute, the writer didn't; John left the porn in the VCR, the writer didn't) Littell tries to sound literary but basically just chronicles years of generosity received from his celebrity friend, and then ultimately he profits from a Kennedy tell-all.
September 28, 2025
This was a decent read written by someone who was a close friend of JFK Jr from prep school until his death.
Interesting to see how John tried his best to live a normal life under abnormal circumstances. Many people knew more about John’s father than he himself did.
Read about his antics growing up and how he juggled and struggled throughout his life. It was not easy to be a person that a whole city felt like they called their own. He handled his fame with grace and tried his best to treat people from all walks of life the same.
It’s been said that had he lived he may have been headed to politics and eventually the Presidency. I don’t think he had the makings of a president. He was quite flighty and absent minded and could be a bit immature and pouty. He did not have time to grow into himself, so we will never know, but considering the political climate we are facing now he probably could have done a better job at uniting parties.
He was raised as a democrat and felt it was his destiny to remain one, but he was an admirer of Ronald Reagan and Rudy Giuliani and felt that there was good in both parties. His own Dad was asked when he was President what made him decide to be a democrat and he just smiled and said he pretty much had no say in the matter, I was born into this family.
But honestly, JFK Jr. could not keep his magazine George running so I don’t believe he would have had any idea how to run a country, but then no one seems to know how to do that in this day and age.
But anyway, the book lets you learn the personal side of JFK Jr.
If you are interested in learning how JFK spent his 20’s and 30’s you may find this an interesting read. I enjoyed it.
Interesting to see how John tried his best to live a normal life under abnormal circumstances. Many people knew more about John’s father than he himself did.
Read about his antics growing up and how he juggled and struggled throughout his life. It was not easy to be a person that a whole city felt like they called their own. He handled his fame with grace and tried his best to treat people from all walks of life the same.
It’s been said that had he lived he may have been headed to politics and eventually the Presidency. I don’t think he had the makings of a president. He was quite flighty and absent minded and could be a bit immature and pouty. He did not have time to grow into himself, so we will never know, but considering the political climate we are facing now he probably could have done a better job at uniting parties.
He was raised as a democrat and felt it was his destiny to remain one, but he was an admirer of Ronald Reagan and Rudy Giuliani and felt that there was good in both parties. His own Dad was asked when he was President what made him decide to be a democrat and he just smiled and said he pretty much had no say in the matter, I was born into this family.
But honestly, JFK Jr. could not keep his magazine George running so I don’t believe he would have had any idea how to run a country, but then no one seems to know how to do that in this day and age.
But anyway, the book lets you learn the personal side of JFK Jr.
If you are interested in learning how JFK spent his 20’s and 30’s you may find this an interesting read. I enjoyed it.
April 28, 2013
Despite JFK Jr. being one of the most popular personalities of the 20th Century, not many true insiders have come forth detailing their lives with him. Littell does so emotionally but not intrusively and dispels a few myths in the process. Of particular value is his assessment of Carolyn Bessette, whose intensity may have been vastly misunderstood. He also has some wonderful insights on Jackie Kennedy, Teddy Kennedy and others of the Kennedy clan.
July 28, 2020
What a fascinating read. A very personal glimps into America's Royals. So much privilege along side so much tragedy. I fell in love with JFK Jr. all over again.
July 19, 2022
This was surprisingly really good! The author wrote so well and vividly! Was Easy and fast read!
February 22, 2020
I read this book after reading Come to the Edge by Christina Haag. I wanted to compare the memoirs of two of the people who were close to John Kennedy, Jr. Christina's version was much more polished and drew the reader into their relationship. I found it interesting that she was mentioned only once, in passing, in Rob Littell's version of his friendship. Both books achieved the goal of making their friend real and not some tabloid version.
April 13, 2018
A sad story since you know the ending when you start. But a valiant try by the other to capture the pure friendship you can have with someone with such privilege. The friendship and could have been just two school boys from an unknown school and unknown families.
May 7, 2014
Read this book in a day, could not put it down. Great story about friendship. Well done. I wonder what could have been, if John were still alive today. He would have made a difference....He died young, but his life was full of adventure, friendships, and family.
I enjoyed reading the book by his girlfriend, Christiana Haag. This book was a different perspective, from a best friend. They were lucky to have each other for twenty years. Made me reflect on and treasure even more my long term, sacred friendships.
As my favorite Chicago Bear, Walter Payton, said as he was battling illness, tomorrow is promised to no one. As a hospice nurse, I know how precious each day is.......to pass away young, in an accident is so very sad.
Thank you Robert, for sharing your friendship with John with us. He was lucky to have you in his life too. You maintained his privacy, and respect throughout the book. Loved it.
I enjoyed reading the book by his girlfriend, Christiana Haag. This book was a different perspective, from a best friend. They were lucky to have each other for twenty years. Made me reflect on and treasure even more my long term, sacred friendships.
As my favorite Chicago Bear, Walter Payton, said as he was battling illness, tomorrow is promised to no one. As a hospice nurse, I know how precious each day is.......to pass away young, in an accident is so very sad.
Thank you Robert, for sharing your friendship with John with us. He was lucky to have you in his life too. You maintained his privacy, and respect throughout the book. Loved it.
October 31, 2012
I absolutely loved this book. Have always been intrigued with Jackie O and her kids. This was truly a heartfelt book by John Jr.'s good friend. Could relate to so many things; I too have vacationed on the Vineyard for over 20 years with my closest friends ~ on Memorial Day Weekend, just like John! I can remember seeing him on the ferry & one time taking the last shuttle to our cars in the parking lots...there were only about 6 of us on the bus and John and his friends were winding down their weekend as we were. A good feeling book ~ and sad, too. What a likable person John was...I am sad for the friends who lost him way too soon. Thank you, Rob Littel, for this wonderful story!
June 26, 2013
I haven't quite finished this book but I can already tell you that I love it. It is a lovely tribute to a man's dear friend who passed away and also happened to be one of the most famous men in America. As a lover of all things Kennedy but also someone who has felt oddly felt protective of their name and legacy at the same time this book was a real treat. Mr. Littell was honest, even handed, funny and true to his friendship and you really can't ask for more than that.
July 17, 2008
In this memoir, Robert Littell describes his friendship with JFK jr., whom he met while they were students at Brown University. I felt the author did a good job in writing this book because you get to know what John-John was really like as well as some of his family members. John-John seemed to have a love for life and he was very adventurous--too bad he died so young!
October 14, 2009
Interesting biography of JFK Jr. told by one of his closest friends from college. It allows you to see him as an ordinary person, while at the same time depicting the difficulties he had to deal with his entire life simply by being the son of JFK and Jackie Kennedy Onassis. Great for those Kennedy fans out there.
April 28, 2012
I really enjoyed this book. I am going through a Kennedy phase for some reason and decided to add this one to my list. I am so glad I did. I thought it was a refreshing story. It showed the human side of JFK jr. Not "America's Prince". Just the regular man, the good and bad, but not in any kind of degrading or gossipy way. I recommend this book to anyone who is into the Kennedy's.
May 1, 2008
Nothing terribly profound or new, but an easy read. I went back and forth on my feelings about this book. At times it felt like an inspirational tale of friendship, and at times it felt like reading a tabloid story written by a man who sold out the dead. Interesting either way, I guess.
December 31, 2008
I enjoyed the book, I read the book not listened to it on cd. I liked it because it was a friends point of view. Not his mothers or sister;s. I think it showed him in a whole different light. He was more normal than what I rememeber. It was an easy read too.
March 21, 2013
I will read anything Kennedy. This was a wonderful memoir about two young men and their friendship of 20 years. It gave insight into how difficult it was to be John F. Kennedy Jr. and the way he dealt with it all. Makes you wonder what about what could have been.
March 27, 2015
book about true friendship, growing up and loss.
addresses the rumors of john's life, the women in his life, his celebrity, living with the legend of his famous father, etc.
my full book review can be found here on my blog : www.sayyestohappy.wordpress.com
addresses the rumors of john's life, the women in his life, his celebrity, living with the legend of his famous father, etc.
my full book review can be found here on my blog : www.sayyestohappy.wordpress.com
October 11, 2009
An interesting account from a person who can say they truly knew John F. Kennedy Jnr.
Read
February 20, 2014There's a level of boldness and professional distance the audience feels with JFK Jr from a vantage point given, that of Mr. Littell's. Altogether respectful and very enjoyable.
September 18, 2015
I can't put my finger on it, but it just wasn't a very compelling read. I guess I wanted more interesting insider stories about JFK Jr.
December 6, 2016
Worth reading...
It is worth reading... to know how John lived his life in a personal basis as exhaustively narrated by "Littel."
It is worth reading... to know how John lived his life in a personal basis as exhaustively narrated by "Littel."
July 10, 2019
Nicely written..
It's nice to have this friend's take on his relationship with John. It gives a different perspective on what he was really like.
Changed my image of him...😊
It's nice to have this friend's take on his relationship with John. It gives a different perspective on what he was really like.
Changed my image of him...😊
January 1, 2020
Great Book.
June 19, 2024
It may be odd, but I am not that curious about JFK Jr. If anything, I was more curious about Bessette of whom little was really known till this year - the 25th anniversary.
Yet this is the third book I bought and read - and I have now ordered the Haag one, as well as one by Klein.
Why?
I like reading of lives lived. Time passing. I am also curious about human nature and interactions. Littell does mention a few friends but in passing. They don't come alive. But then neither does JFK Jr either.
The paragraph above was written when I was half way through the book.
Then, at almost the end, true emotion. Sharing something more profound and not slightly jokey, boys' adventures about skiing and what not.
That said, as with the previous books, this is about the author - Littell - and John Jr's time in his life.
And why not? Littell has as much right to share his spiritual journey as any of the rest of us.
But Littell is not really a curious person. For a close confidante of such long standing, there were multiple big areas he never talked about at all. He even admits as much. He is clearly not given to soul-searching or sharing angsty experiences with a best mate.
Or maybe John Jr didn't care to share?
John certainly comes across as open to all so it is odd that Littell is either too arrogant or too disinterested in refusing to discuss personal things. Apart from his annoyance with how John split from Daryl Hannah who Littell liked a lot.
But then came the last 3 or 4 chapters.
Littell seemed a little in love with Bessette. With both Kennedy and Bessette, he makes excuses for the tales that surfaced before and after they died.
Nonetheless, however kindly he paints them, neither John nor Carolyn come across as really good people. Just people playing a part. The massive circle of friends would seem to be a core element of that.
Carolyn didn't appear to do much for the three years of their marriage - sometimes getting involved with George, shopping, homing in on his friends - like the Radziwills. With no sign of children on the horizon for their given reasons, it's unsurprising she behaved in often petulant and tempestuous ways.
20 North Moore didn't seem a good place to live for a young married couple where only one had a job.
It seemed to me, Littell struggled hard not to imagine his friends drowning - though apparently they died on impact. He says they must have known they were about to die. It's clear it tormented him.
And that's when the earlier rather more shallow remembrances got forgotten.
He shares far more than Noonan and Radziwill - though mostly in the last few chapters.
I'd certainly recommend the book.
Yet this is the third book I bought and read - and I have now ordered the Haag one, as well as one by Klein.
Why?
I like reading of lives lived. Time passing. I am also curious about human nature and interactions. Littell does mention a few friends but in passing. They don't come alive. But then neither does JFK Jr either.
The paragraph above was written when I was half way through the book.
Then, at almost the end, true emotion. Sharing something more profound and not slightly jokey, boys' adventures about skiing and what not.
That said, as with the previous books, this is about the author - Littell - and John Jr's time in his life.
And why not? Littell has as much right to share his spiritual journey as any of the rest of us.
But Littell is not really a curious person. For a close confidante of such long standing, there were multiple big areas he never talked about at all. He even admits as much. He is clearly not given to soul-searching or sharing angsty experiences with a best mate.
Or maybe John Jr didn't care to share?
John certainly comes across as open to all so it is odd that Littell is either too arrogant or too disinterested in refusing to discuss personal things. Apart from his annoyance with how John split from Daryl Hannah who Littell liked a lot.
But then came the last 3 or 4 chapters.
Littell seemed a little in love with Bessette. With both Kennedy and Bessette, he makes excuses for the tales that surfaced before and after they died.
Nonetheless, however kindly he paints them, neither John nor Carolyn come across as really good people. Just people playing a part. The massive circle of friends would seem to be a core element of that.
Carolyn didn't appear to do much for the three years of their marriage - sometimes getting involved with George, shopping, homing in on his friends - like the Radziwills. With no sign of children on the horizon for their given reasons, it's unsurprising she behaved in often petulant and tempestuous ways.
20 North Moore didn't seem a good place to live for a young married couple where only one had a job.
It seemed to me, Littell struggled hard not to imagine his friends drowning - though apparently they died on impact. He says they must have known they were about to die. It's clear it tormented him.
And that's when the earlier rather more shallow remembrances got forgotten.
He shares far more than Noonan and Radziwill - though mostly in the last few chapters.
I'd certainly recommend the book.
July 29, 2023
Truth Be Told
I had just read another book about John F. Kennedy, Jr. and some friends and wanted to know more. I preferred this book over the other because it had so much more detail, and it is obvious the author truly knew John. By the end of the book, I felt I knew him. The other book, unfortunately portrayed Carolyn as an adulterer and addict. I actually believed it until reading this book. I am so glad I decided to seek out something more. I say thank you Mr. Littell for writing this book and sharing your personal life with all of us. To me, this is much more believable and the way I think John would have wanted his life to be shared even though he was a private person. I highly recommend this book as you will really feel like you know more about the character of JFK, Jr. At the end.
I had just read another book about John F. Kennedy, Jr. and some friends and wanted to know more. I preferred this book over the other because it had so much more detail, and it is obvious the author truly knew John. By the end of the book, I felt I knew him. The other book, unfortunately portrayed Carolyn as an adulterer and addict. I actually believed it until reading this book. I am so glad I decided to seek out something more. I say thank you Mr. Littell for writing this book and sharing your personal life with all of us. To me, this is much more believable and the way I think John would have wanted his life to be shared even though he was a private person. I highly recommend this book as you will really feel like you know more about the character of JFK, Jr. At the end.
July 17, 2023
An absolute must read
Written by one of JFK Jr’s closest friends, this memoir brings to life a man who lived life to its fullest and was gone way too soon, just as his father. A funny, poignant, heartwarming and heartbreaking compilation of anecdotes and stories of America’s prince, Rob Littell talks simply and beautifully of his friendship and the impact JFK Jr had on all who knew him.
From the young boy bravely saluting his father’s coffin to an accomplished, caring, unassuming man, this book gives us a glimpse into the impact John had on those who knew, admired, respected, and loved him. Mr. Littell leaves us, the readers, with the feeling we have been included in that vaunted circle. And we are better for the experience.
Written by one of JFK Jr’s closest friends, this memoir brings to life a man who lived life to its fullest and was gone way too soon, just as his father. A funny, poignant, heartwarming and heartbreaking compilation of anecdotes and stories of America’s prince, Rob Littell talks simply and beautifully of his friendship and the impact JFK Jr had on all who knew him.
From the young boy bravely saluting his father’s coffin to an accomplished, caring, unassuming man, this book gives us a glimpse into the impact John had on those who knew, admired, respected, and loved him. Mr. Littell leaves us, the readers, with the feeling we have been included in that vaunted circle. And we are better for the experience.
February 20, 2021
As a JFK Jr & CBK “aficionado,” I try to learn as much as I can about the couple. This book was a perfect accompaniment to RoseMarie Terenzio’s “Fairytale Interrupted” and Carole Radziwill’s “What Remains.” Poignant and gentle, Littell takes us through his friendship with John, Jackie, and Carolyn from the beginning right to the bitter end. You can feel his pain as you read about the loss of his best friend, and you will find yourself chuckling at their boyish shenanigans. I learned a lot of new information from Rob’s book about the couple and their life, adding more color to the richly-colored paint of the lives of the youngest members of Camelot.
June 19, 2023
A memoir written by one of John F. Kennedy Jr.'s best friends from his time at Brown University. It's an intimate, no-holds-barred memoir full of private conversations with the most famous Kennedy.
I have a deep fascination with John F. Kennedy Jr. and the life he lived. I can't tell you where it stems from. It's doubly odd because even when he was alive and I was a pre-pubescent girl, I was barely aware of who he was. While I could feel the depth of this author's friendship, love, and respect for his dear friend John Jr., it wasn't the best book written about him that I've read unfortunately.
Follow me at www.bosssybabe.wordpress.com for more.
I have a deep fascination with John F. Kennedy Jr. and the life he lived. I can't tell you where it stems from. It's doubly odd because even when he was alive and I was a pre-pubescent girl, I was barely aware of who he was. While I could feel the depth of this author's friendship, love, and respect for his dear friend John Jr., it wasn't the best book written about him that I've read unfortunately.
Follow me at www.bosssybabe.wordpress.com for more.
August 22, 2023
I enjoyed Littel’s memoir of his best friend. I think John would be okay with it too. It captures John’s wonderful nature and personality. I thank Rob for writing this book, as having spent an afternoon with many of the Kennedy’s at a tennis tournament in Forest Hills, John struck me then as a very warm, down to earth, humorous, and polite kid. Rob captures the essence of the preteen I met that day, and I loved getting to know him better. Definitely a life well lived and good guy.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews