Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers

by Michael Riera

Excellent book chock full of advice for parents with teens. Sometimes Riera’s advice goes against the establishment grain but actually it makes a lot of sense. Go from being your teen’s “manager” to being his/her “consultant.”

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Family

256 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 1995

Reviews

[Shana · Rating 2 out of 5]

this has an overview I suppose of what is going on with a stereotypical teens, but I read through a number of chapters and found that even those offering help for something specific were not very helpful. for example in a chapter on when to know it is time to take your teen to a professional counselor, he overviews 3 cases where it should happen and advises that you insist on the counseling and give teenager agency to decide whether to go together and who to see. this is SO basic and much m
harder I imagine in practice if you have a teen with for example a drug problem or any problem making them reluctant to seek help. just not pragmatic.
I have up on this book after reading the summary of middle school years and finding that I hardly recognize my kid in the description apart from wanting to spend lots of time with friends and evolving self identity it is as though the teens the author deals with are all over privileged and mean boys and girls in a catty world and on Facebook...seriously, maybe already outdated but none of my kids friends are on FB...

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book almost ten years ago and wanted to thank the author by giving him five stars. It is best book I’ve ever read about parenting teens. It helped me communicate with my teenage daughter during a difficult time and gave me more confidence in my parenting. The author’s wisdom and experience was evident on every page. Most of all I appreciated his wonderful sense of humor which helped me maintain my sanity. I wish I could thank Dr. Riera in person for writing this helpful book.

[Lizz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Flipped through this slowly as we went through five months of parenting an exchange student. Several helpful insights, made very digestible. Not exactly earth-shattering, but it didn't need to be. I also found it a useful perspective on some parts of my own adolescence. Will likely return to this if/when I parent a teenager again.

[Gavin Lakin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Riera. This work is not only instructive and motivational - it is a work of literature! Empathy, humor, and case studies, all come together for parents to learn the treacherous transition from managing to consulting their teens.

[Jahan Sagafi]

recommended by Nancy N.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes you get the RIGHT book at the RIGHT time. Someone handed me this just as my son hit high school, and it's helped me not be shocked by some of the new 'surprises' of teen-hood. I have a great understanding now of why he'll have a 'Sophomore Slump' and why he sometimes can't talk to me. I'm having trouble with the suggestion to "never give advice, even when they ask for it..." now, that's uncommon sense! But these years are really about getting to know yourself, and this book will help me (I hope) NOT be clueless or insensitive.

I think I'll read it again.

[Elisabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Riera is one of the most intelligent authors who write on adolescence in my mind. Unlike many others, he doesn't emphasize scripts -- prefab phrases and terms you can use with your teen -- but instead talks about parenting principles in this book. He's the only one I've read who points out how counter-productive it can be to pressure kids about their grades, recommending instead that you ask questions that engage your child in learning and the intellectual process. I like his depth and thoughtfulness. His ideas are never canned.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the way Riera writes about teenagers. Very real life - not
"you have to keep the lines of communication open" when your
real life teenager wants to cut them with gardening shears.
Helps me think about what my goals are for my kids - to empower
them to make good decisions and he doesn't pretend you can
control everything your teen does.

[Shannon Wallner · Rating 4 out of 5]

My husband and I heard him speak on this book last night and he was really good. I thought I'd heard it all, but he had some great points (and fabulous stories) about teenagers and their needs. I especially liked the information on moving from Manager to Consultant in their lives and thinking through H.A.L.T. when they are stressed - are they Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Good stuff.

[Sheila · Rating 2 out of 5]

The best part is his simple explanation of the changing parental role between childhood and teenagerdom - from manager to consultant. I think about that often when my instinct is to control rather than to assist my daughter.

[Gerry Durisin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-written, in a conversational and easily understood style. Highlights the tension between adolescents’ desire for independence and autonomy, and their need for guidance and supervision, with good descriptions of typical issues and pressure points in each year of high school.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book - you can pick through and read the chapters that apply to you easily as you need them and it offers some very good and needed advice for parents of teens.

[Joe Brunory · Rating 3 out of 5]

painless and essential.

[Becki Basley · Rating 3 out of 5]

As self help books go, this actually held my interest passed the first chapter. This is alot of interesting advice in here but as you would think, not all is relevant to your individual teenager.

[Stacey · Rating 2 out of 5]

This all seemed like common sense to me.

[Tarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has been really helpful at work!

[Cathi · Rating 4 out of 5]

GUESS MY KIDS ARE 'NORMAL' AFTER ALL!

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book when dealing with "transitional" teen: an adolescent who thinks he should have the same privileges as an adult.

[Ayelet Waldman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sigh.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

hands down one of the best books for parents of teens to learn from!

[Rochelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book for giving you some insight to the teenager in your life. Especially if you are looking to improve your relationship and ability to communicate with each other.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

While some of it seemed to be obvious, there was a lot of great information in this book for parents and teachers.

[Justbehappy0 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite a bit of common sense included but also a good reminder for patience and communication. How to tackle the issues of today in a non confrontational way.

[Emily Scheinman]

Essential reading if you have teenage children!

[Johanna]

a few good tips on approach & general intro to what to expect.

[Maurya · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first in two books by Michael Riera. I am appreciating them both - I read this one first and am in the midst of the second one. (They are melding together for me.)

What I am liking is that they are helping me feel normal in the middle of the frustration. It is probably good the parenting books before you have kids do not go into the teenager-age - there is a lot to maintaining sanity. Glad I read this book.