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Torn: Trusting God When Life Leaves You in Pieces
When Every Why Goes Unanswered
When our world comes crashing down, it does more than steal our peace. Something inside us tears. We feel broken, stranded—torn.
We naturally ask the question “Why?” when we’re hurting. But as pastor Jud Wilhite turned to the Bible in his own pain, he was surprised to discover that another question matters more: “Who?” Who is worthy of our trust when our trust when our lives are in pieces?
You may be experiencing a time of such darkness that you wonder if you will ever find “normal” again or look toward the future with hope. In Torn, Jud explores your questions as well as God’s answers—and God’s mysteries. With a pastor’s heart, he looks with you at practical ways to fight for joy, deal with anger and depression, and make the million tiny decisions that add up to a life committed to God, even when your heart is broken.
It’s not about having better arguments for the purpose behind our suffering. It’s about our relationship with God—a relationship that can flourish even when our whys go unanswered.
When our world comes crashing down, it does more than steal our peace. Something inside us tears. We feel broken, stranded—torn.
We naturally ask the question “Why?” when we’re hurting. But as pastor Jud Wilhite turned to the Bible in his own pain, he was surprised to discover that another question matters more: “Who?” Who is worthy of our trust when our trust when our lives are in pieces?
You may be experiencing a time of such darkness that you wonder if you will ever find “normal” again or look toward the future with hope. In Torn, Jud explores your questions as well as God’s answers—and God’s mysteries. With a pastor’s heart, he looks with you at practical ways to fight for joy, deal with anger and depression, and make the million tiny decisions that add up to a life committed to God, even when your heart is broken.
It’s not about having better arguments for the purpose behind our suffering. It’s about our relationship with God—a relationship that can flourish even when our whys go unanswered.
225 pages, Paperback
First published August 16, 2011
31 people are currently reading
212 people want to read
About the author
Jud Wilhite
43 books21 followersJud Wilhite is an author, speaker, and senior pastor of Central Christian Church, a church founded in Las Vegas with multiple campuses, both national and international. Central is recognized as one of the largest and fastest growing churches in America. Jud is the author of several books, including Pursued, a New York Times bestseller, Torn, Throw it Down, and Uncensored Grace. He and his wife, Lori, have two kids and live in the Las Vegas area.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
June 28, 2012
"Torn: Trusting God When Life Leaves You in Pieces" is a book that reads like a candid conversation about real life hardships. It's refreshingly honest and I knew it was going to be good when I came across this gem in the very first chapter:
"[...] the primary equipment you need to trust God in your pain and suffering is your pain and suffering. You already have the necessary tools; you just need the skilled hands of a loving God to wield them."
Wilhite tackles the age old "Why?" question with wisdom and grace. Realistic examples are given for encouragement in how we, too, can pick up the pieces after life has left us torn. This is a compact volume, not dwelling too long on any particular topic, but also full of practical advice.
I found myself wondering at the author's cultural relevancy and yet reverence for men of God in the past. He quotes from Martin Luther, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Charles Spurgeon and others, and yet freely sprinkled throughout are references to Star Trek, actors, public figures, children's cartoons, etc. It brought Wilhite's insights alive because it really did seem like you were chatting with a friend. There is plenty Scripture included as well, and Biblical examples are drawn out for our examination.
Waterbrook Multnomah provided me with this book in exchange for my honest review.
This review originally appeared at http://www.reviewsbyerin.livejournal.com
"[...] the primary equipment you need to trust God in your pain and suffering is your pain and suffering. You already have the necessary tools; you just need the skilled hands of a loving God to wield them."
Wilhite tackles the age old "Why?" question with wisdom and grace. Realistic examples are given for encouragement in how we, too, can pick up the pieces after life has left us torn. This is a compact volume, not dwelling too long on any particular topic, but also full of practical advice.
I found myself wondering at the author's cultural relevancy and yet reverence for men of God in the past. He quotes from Martin Luther, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Charles Spurgeon and others, and yet freely sprinkled throughout are references to Star Trek, actors, public figures, children's cartoons, etc. It brought Wilhite's insights alive because it really did seem like you were chatting with a friend. There is plenty Scripture included as well, and Biblical examples are drawn out for our examination.
Waterbrook Multnomah provided me with this book in exchange for my honest review.
This review originally appeared at http://www.reviewsbyerin.livejournal.com
January 21, 2012
I won this book as a free giveaway.
I thought this book was tremendous. While I don't see myself as a "torn" person at the moment (thank God), I still thought that the information and advice the book provided was great. I was particularly impressed with the second half of the book. Each chapter supplied fresh insight and helpful suggestions on how to live life once you've been spiritually/emotionally/mentally/physically torn. There were great Biblical references that the author used to illustrate his various points. Some of the issues that we go through in life are very difficult. The author understands this and writes sensitively, yet powerfully.
I have been "torn" in the past, and so I was able to understand the audience that this book was meant for and able to grasp the concepts of this book. I hope that I remember this book and everything in it for when (in the future) I am at that place again when I really need the godly advice that it provides. And I plan to read it again in the future when I am hurting and questioning everything.
I would HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who has questions about why bad things happen to us and how we are to live our lives after.
I thought this book was tremendous. While I don't see myself as a "torn" person at the moment (thank God), I still thought that the information and advice the book provided was great. I was particularly impressed with the second half of the book. Each chapter supplied fresh insight and helpful suggestions on how to live life once you've been spiritually/emotionally/mentally/physically torn. There were great Biblical references that the author used to illustrate his various points. Some of the issues that we go through in life are very difficult. The author understands this and writes sensitively, yet powerfully.
I have been "torn" in the past, and so I was able to understand the audience that this book was meant for and able to grasp the concepts of this book. I hope that I remember this book and everything in it for when (in the future) I am at that place again when I really need the godly advice that it provides. And I plan to read it again in the future when I am hurting and questioning everything.
I would HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who has questions about why bad things happen to us and how we are to live our lives after.
August 25, 2015
I found this book to be an amazing devotional, and help, after the passing of my infant son. It is a great book for learning how to walk through the process of grief. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has ever lost someone, or lost something close to them (a marriage, a friendship, etc).
February 27, 2013
Author, speaker, and pastor Jud Wilhite provides a valuable commentary on the issues we all face when it comes to dealing with understanding the why of suffering, pain, and evil that seems so rampant not just in the world but in our everyday experiences. Many noted scholars, philosophers, and theologians have wrestled with developing a theodicy that holistically answers the problem of evil. C. S. Lewis, N. T. Wright, Alvin Platinga, and others have offered their attempt at analyzing this rather perplexing concept of a good and loving and omnipotent God with the seeming unrelenting existence of evil. This is at times one of the reasons why many choose to reject notions of a loving God who has an overall plan of action to deal with evil. Many ask and rightly so, "If God is so powerful then why does he put an end to evil and suffering." This is an especially pointed question given this is the 10th anniversary of the tragic events of September 11, 2001.
Pastor Wilhite does an excellent job of immediately framing the question of suffering to that presented in Scripture. He comments "the most fundamental question, according to the Bible, is who. Who will we trust in the calamities and challenges of life? Who will we turn to in the reality of our pain? Who is worthy of our trust?" He admits the Bible seemingly "refuses to answer why" when it comes to the question of evil. Instead, we are commanded to place our faith and trust in a God who has existed for all eternity and who has promised in his word that in his perfect timing evil will finally be vanquished and wrongs will be righted.
So how do we deal with life on a day to day basis when we either experience pain, suffering, or evil first hand or we see the devastating impact of evil, whether natural or humanities penchant for causing pain and agony against their fellow man? When individuals question God's overarching plan because their parent died a horrifically slow and painful death at the hands of cancer or when innocent children are abused killed by a drunk driver, how can we as believers respond to such tragedy?
These seeming theological conundrums are difficult. Throughout his book, Wilhite utilizes salient stories to demonstrate real world situations where people who experienced difficulty with tragedy nevertheless continued to trust God knowing "they derived their strength from him." Wilhite rightly notes when tragedy strikes, notices this is not an "if" but rather a "when" reality, continually asking God why will typically not result in an answer. Our grief clouds our ability to correctly focus our trust on God. Wilhite avers "the danger with why questions are that they lead to a dark, confusing, frustrating, lonely, disconnected place." When life seems to tear us apart, we have realize that "the universe is truly, utterly, and completely about God - and thus not about me" and then find our "greatest happiness in celebrating this reality."
Perhaps this is best portrayed in the pages of the Psalms, in particular the imprecatory Psalms. David was anointed by God to be the King of Israel yet he seemed to be continually beset on every side by trouble. Saul and his men sought to put him to death forcing him to hide in caves. Even in what appeared to be his darkest hours, David pressed through the why questions of life and placed his faith in the God who has continually proven himself worthy of our trust. Even when the world seems to be spiraling out of control, Wilhite correctly reminds us it is "not spiraling out of God's control. It isn't barreling ahead into an unknown future with a powerless God at the helm. God isn't sitting in heaven wringing his hands in fear. He is bringing his plan to fruition. He is working in our world each day to bring himself glory. In due time he will overthrow Satan, sin, and death."
Wilhite reminds his reader of the life of Job, a man who experienced more tragedy and pain than most any of us will in our lifetime. His family, possessions, and physical health were taken away in a single day. Just like David, Job pressed through his whys instead reorienting his approach to faith in almighty God who has existed from eternity past and who has all things under his control. Wilhite also shares some valuable insights from the early church father Augustine who in his classic book City of God reflects on "Christians being killed, tortured, and raped during the fall of Rome." Despite being persecuted to the point of death, Augustine reminds us of the following:
"Death is not to be regarded as a disaster, when it follows on a good life, for the only thing that makes death evil is what comes after death. Those who must inevitably die ought not to worry overmuch about what accident will cause their death, but about their destination after dying. Christians know that the death of a poor religious man, licked by the tongues of dogs, is far better than the death of a godless rich man, dressed in purple and linen. Why then should those who have lived well be dismayed by the terrors of death in any form."
All in all, Torn is an excellent book. While it is certainly not a philosophical treatise on various past and present scholarly viewpoints of the problem of evil, it is certainly provides more on a practical level than even the best treatises have done. This is due to the approach by Wilhite to continually redirect the reader to not fall prey to asking why, not that asking why is incorrect in itself. Conversely, the message provided in Scripture is to constantly place our faith and trust in a God who has proven himself worthy. Scripture does not claim our lives will be free of tragedy, in fact it says quite the opposite. So in a time when many will be replaying the tragic events of 9/11 either on television, their computer, in conversation or in their minds-eye, we must remember that beyond asking why is the more powerful question of asking who - who will we trust will all seems like it is falling apart? We must keep in mind the words of Psalm 23:4, a powerful verse that Wilhite closes out his timely book with:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
If you are looking for in-depth philosophical book on the problem of evil, then I would redirect you to other books on the market. However, if you are looking for an honest, practical and more importantly biblically centric overview on how to deal with difficult issues in life, then Jud Wilhite's Torn is for you.
I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
Pastor Wilhite does an excellent job of immediately framing the question of suffering to that presented in Scripture. He comments "the most fundamental question, according to the Bible, is who. Who will we trust in the calamities and challenges of life? Who will we turn to in the reality of our pain? Who is worthy of our trust?" He admits the Bible seemingly "refuses to answer why" when it comes to the question of evil. Instead, we are commanded to place our faith and trust in a God who has existed for all eternity and who has promised in his word that in his perfect timing evil will finally be vanquished and wrongs will be righted.
So how do we deal with life on a day to day basis when we either experience pain, suffering, or evil first hand or we see the devastating impact of evil, whether natural or humanities penchant for causing pain and agony against their fellow man? When individuals question God's overarching plan because their parent died a horrifically slow and painful death at the hands of cancer or when innocent children are abused killed by a drunk driver, how can we as believers respond to such tragedy?
These seeming theological conundrums are difficult. Throughout his book, Wilhite utilizes salient stories to demonstrate real world situations where people who experienced difficulty with tragedy nevertheless continued to trust God knowing "they derived their strength from him." Wilhite rightly notes when tragedy strikes, notices this is not an "if" but rather a "when" reality, continually asking God why will typically not result in an answer. Our grief clouds our ability to correctly focus our trust on God. Wilhite avers "the danger with why questions are that they lead to a dark, confusing, frustrating, lonely, disconnected place." When life seems to tear us apart, we have realize that "the universe is truly, utterly, and completely about God - and thus not about me" and then find our "greatest happiness in celebrating this reality."
Perhaps this is best portrayed in the pages of the Psalms, in particular the imprecatory Psalms. David was anointed by God to be the King of Israel yet he seemed to be continually beset on every side by trouble. Saul and his men sought to put him to death forcing him to hide in caves. Even in what appeared to be his darkest hours, David pressed through the why questions of life and placed his faith in the God who has continually proven himself worthy of our trust. Even when the world seems to be spiraling out of control, Wilhite correctly reminds us it is "not spiraling out of God's control. It isn't barreling ahead into an unknown future with a powerless God at the helm. God isn't sitting in heaven wringing his hands in fear. He is bringing his plan to fruition. He is working in our world each day to bring himself glory. In due time he will overthrow Satan, sin, and death."
Wilhite reminds his reader of the life of Job, a man who experienced more tragedy and pain than most any of us will in our lifetime. His family, possessions, and physical health were taken away in a single day. Just like David, Job pressed through his whys instead reorienting his approach to faith in almighty God who has existed from eternity past and who has all things under his control. Wilhite also shares some valuable insights from the early church father Augustine who in his classic book City of God reflects on "Christians being killed, tortured, and raped during the fall of Rome." Despite being persecuted to the point of death, Augustine reminds us of the following:
"Death is not to be regarded as a disaster, when it follows on a good life, for the only thing that makes death evil is what comes after death. Those who must inevitably die ought not to worry overmuch about what accident will cause their death, but about their destination after dying. Christians know that the death of a poor religious man, licked by the tongues of dogs, is far better than the death of a godless rich man, dressed in purple and linen. Why then should those who have lived well be dismayed by the terrors of death in any form."
All in all, Torn is an excellent book. While it is certainly not a philosophical treatise on various past and present scholarly viewpoints of the problem of evil, it is certainly provides more on a practical level than even the best treatises have done. This is due to the approach by Wilhite to continually redirect the reader to not fall prey to asking why, not that asking why is incorrect in itself. Conversely, the message provided in Scripture is to constantly place our faith and trust in a God who has proven himself worthy. Scripture does not claim our lives will be free of tragedy, in fact it says quite the opposite. So in a time when many will be replaying the tragic events of 9/11 either on television, their computer, in conversation or in their minds-eye, we must remember that beyond asking why is the more powerful question of asking who - who will we trust will all seems like it is falling apart? We must keep in mind the words of Psalm 23:4, a powerful verse that Wilhite closes out his timely book with:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
If you are looking for in-depth philosophical book on the problem of evil, then I would redirect you to other books on the market. However, if you are looking for an honest, practical and more importantly biblically centric overview on how to deal with difficult issues in life, then Jud Wilhite's Torn is for you.
I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
August 23, 2021
I picked this up in a freebie bin at a used book store quite some time ago. Somehow in the last few days, after these last few years of difficulty after difficulty, including so many tragedies, I saw it and thought, "I need to read this today." And so I did. It is a quick read and a useful one, for anyone who has ever felt torn--not in the I'm-not-sure-which-way-to-go, sense, but in the sense of a raw, ragged, rending of your life. Troubles that are so bad that there is no clean break--but just complete shredding of one's existence. Troubles that go from bad to worse and then even worse, and the end of the tunnel is at the other end of the universe, far, far outside of one's reach. When these sorts of troubles, whether due to our own faults or as victims at the hands of others or just plain "bad luck", befall, they challenge believers in Christ to wonder about our unworthiness or even the existence of God. This book gives some practical, constructive ways to move beyond "Why?" to courageous trust in the One who uses all things for good and to His glory--even the bitterly painful, horrendously depressing chapters of our lives. A very worthy read.
January 6, 2022
The chapter on forgiveness, and stories contained within, are likely cause enough for reading. There were many great reminders in this book. While nothing was especially groundbreaking, a well written reminder that the Lord is in control is never a waste.
February 1, 2024
Facing difficulties by putting your faith in the Almighty.
Difficult times often cause us to question our faith and our maker, even atheists have that moment of feeling utterly distraught and confused how the "universe" could do this.
Torn serves as encouragement to keeping your faith in Christ and actually using the tough times as inspiration to become closer to the Lord.
It's a relatively short and easy read.
Difficult times often cause us to question our faith and our maker, even atheists have that moment of feeling utterly distraught and confused how the "universe" could do this.
Torn serves as encouragement to keeping your faith in Christ and actually using the tough times as inspiration to become closer to the Lord.
It's a relatively short and easy read.
September 4, 2012
When I saw the title of this book I just knew I had to get a copy of it and read it and I am glad that I did.
In his very relevant for the times we live in book, the author addresses the age old issue of trusting God when our lives falls apart around us. Having been there myself – that is, having had my world come crashing down on me into thousands of pieces which no mortal could put back together again, (“having broken life and not being able to fix it”); and only God could, I wanted to read author Wilhite’s perspective on the matter. In his book he hits the proverbial “nail on the head” in regards to the issue of suffering and what the proper response for a follower of Christ out to be.
The author opens his book with some insights concerning the all too familiar refrain, “It’s not fair” and then moves right on to the question almost everyone invariably asks when their lives fall apart, “Why?” But thankfully and fortunately for us as his reader he does not leave us there for any length of time…rather, he quickly takes us as his reader to the question we should all ask and answer correctly, and that is “Who?” And the “who” is God.
In Chapter 1 the author shares a personal story of friends of his; a story about a family that experienced as he called it, “Dream Detours,” when their infant son suddenly and unexpectedly died. In sharing their story he revealed the depths of their doubt, anger and pain – all very natural and human emotions; but, he also revealed what happened when the parents got the proper view of God in light of their pain and suffering and how they experienced healing as a result. Author Wilhite directs us as his reader to a high view of God and his sovereignty by quoting the Apostle Paul in Colossians 1:15-18 and then rightly states at the end of the chapter, “We can turn ground zero into a sanctuary of worship to God.” And we can, if we choose to do so.
In Chapter 2 the author writes concerning “Reframing Our Expectations;” something which is essential for us to do if we are to enjoy an abundant spiritual life – regardless of our circumstances. I especially enjoyed reading his thoughts about what he refers to as “The New Now” in that chapter.
From Chapters 2 to 9 author Wilhite shares testimonies of a number of different people who have experienced a variety of devastating experiences in their lives – including the acclaimed pastor, teacher and author Charles Haddon Spurgeon and how by directing their attention towards the “Who,” (God); and not the “Why,” for their answers and comfort, they were able to endure their tribulations and suffering and ultimately bring great glory to God. But it was not easy for them as he writes. Oft times the road was long and the way was hard, but the more they focused on God and the glory of his person, the greater the blessing was for them in the midst of their suffering. I do want to refer to Chapter’s 8 and 9 briefly as in them author Wilhite writes about the issues of depression and forgiveness.
I commend him for treating these difficult and sometimes controversial subjects among Christians in the understanding, compassionate and Biblical manner in which he does. He does not proffer any type of quick fix or advocate just attempting to put a spiritual band aid on the issues of depression or forgiveness, nor does he list a litany of short spiritual phrases or even Scriptures that one could quote to be healed. Rather, he calls upon the reader to truly focus on God in all his glory and majesty as well as to “constantly war with our attitude in fighting for joy.” And it is a war of attitude that does require a fight and sometimes the fight seems almost too overwhelming in and of ourselves, and in our own strength, but as the author reminds us in his book through sharing the testimonies of the people he does as well as through the Scriptures, our victory IS in Christ.
And he writes regarding the matter of forgiveness, “A lack of forgiveness is the number-one obstacle to our healing and our joy.” And on that point the author and I agree.
In the end the author provides us with 2 invaluable insights that if we would but accept them and appropriate them in our lives, we would all experience a greater degree of spiritual freedom and the abundant life that Jesus promised. The insights I am referring to are (1). “The world is about God and his glory more than it is about us and our comfort.” And (2) “Whatever you do, don’t go stagnant in your life. Keep moving, keep growing, keep praying, keep screaming, (I liked this one – LOL), and keep searching.” And that just about says it all. If your life is “torn” right now and you are looking for a way to put the pieces of your life back together, I consider this book a must read for you…but if you do read it…read it meditatively and prayerfully…taking the time to absorb what you read and then apply it to your life.
You can download Chapter 1 of the book by going to http://multnomahemails.com/wbmlt/pdf/...
I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review"
In his very relevant for the times we live in book, the author addresses the age old issue of trusting God when our lives falls apart around us. Having been there myself – that is, having had my world come crashing down on me into thousands of pieces which no mortal could put back together again, (“having broken life and not being able to fix it”); and only God could, I wanted to read author Wilhite’s perspective on the matter. In his book he hits the proverbial “nail on the head” in regards to the issue of suffering and what the proper response for a follower of Christ out to be.
The author opens his book with some insights concerning the all too familiar refrain, “It’s not fair” and then moves right on to the question almost everyone invariably asks when their lives fall apart, “Why?” But thankfully and fortunately for us as his reader he does not leave us there for any length of time…rather, he quickly takes us as his reader to the question we should all ask and answer correctly, and that is “Who?” And the “who” is God.
In Chapter 1 the author shares a personal story of friends of his; a story about a family that experienced as he called it, “Dream Detours,” when their infant son suddenly and unexpectedly died. In sharing their story he revealed the depths of their doubt, anger and pain – all very natural and human emotions; but, he also revealed what happened when the parents got the proper view of God in light of their pain and suffering and how they experienced healing as a result. Author Wilhite directs us as his reader to a high view of God and his sovereignty by quoting the Apostle Paul in Colossians 1:15-18 and then rightly states at the end of the chapter, “We can turn ground zero into a sanctuary of worship to God.” And we can, if we choose to do so.
In Chapter 2 the author writes concerning “Reframing Our Expectations;” something which is essential for us to do if we are to enjoy an abundant spiritual life – regardless of our circumstances. I especially enjoyed reading his thoughts about what he refers to as “The New Now” in that chapter.
From Chapters 2 to 9 author Wilhite shares testimonies of a number of different people who have experienced a variety of devastating experiences in their lives – including the acclaimed pastor, teacher and author Charles Haddon Spurgeon and how by directing their attention towards the “Who,” (God); and not the “Why,” for their answers and comfort, they were able to endure their tribulations and suffering and ultimately bring great glory to God. But it was not easy for them as he writes. Oft times the road was long and the way was hard, but the more they focused on God and the glory of his person, the greater the blessing was for them in the midst of their suffering. I do want to refer to Chapter’s 8 and 9 briefly as in them author Wilhite writes about the issues of depression and forgiveness.
I commend him for treating these difficult and sometimes controversial subjects among Christians in the understanding, compassionate and Biblical manner in which he does. He does not proffer any type of quick fix or advocate just attempting to put a spiritual band aid on the issues of depression or forgiveness, nor does he list a litany of short spiritual phrases or even Scriptures that one could quote to be healed. Rather, he calls upon the reader to truly focus on God in all his glory and majesty as well as to “constantly war with our attitude in fighting for joy.” And it is a war of attitude that does require a fight and sometimes the fight seems almost too overwhelming in and of ourselves, and in our own strength, but as the author reminds us in his book through sharing the testimonies of the people he does as well as through the Scriptures, our victory IS in Christ.
And he writes regarding the matter of forgiveness, “A lack of forgiveness is the number-one obstacle to our healing and our joy.” And on that point the author and I agree.
In the end the author provides us with 2 invaluable insights that if we would but accept them and appropriate them in our lives, we would all experience a greater degree of spiritual freedom and the abundant life that Jesus promised. The insights I am referring to are (1). “The world is about God and his glory more than it is about us and our comfort.” And (2) “Whatever you do, don’t go stagnant in your life. Keep moving, keep growing, keep praying, keep screaming, (I liked this one – LOL), and keep searching.” And that just about says it all. If your life is “torn” right now and you are looking for a way to put the pieces of your life back together, I consider this book a must read for you…but if you do read it…read it meditatively and prayerfully…taking the time to absorb what you read and then apply it to your life.
You can download Chapter 1 of the book by going to http://multnomahemails.com/wbmlt/pdf/...
I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review"
August 10, 2011
As this is a goodreads giveaways book I like to write my review as I go along. This helps me to keep the book fresh in my mind as I go off and do other things, and you (the reader of this review) get the best review that I can do.
Part 1: Trusting God When Torn
I like the layout of this book so far. Reverend Jud Wilhite is not going to let you get lost in babbling. He has a great sense of humor in his writing style. It is almost as if he is sitting in the chair next to me.
There was a few quotes that really hit me as I read so far. The first one was describing how as human beings we compare our suffering to others. Someone always has it worse. Western poverty is not the same as poverty in other areas. However, "perspective provides only so much consolation before it stops providing consolation altogether. (2)" This is so true. Even as Christians it is easy to allow Satan to overcome our trust in God. Rev. Wilhite goes on to say that "Why?" is not the question we should be asking, but who. In "who?" we decide who we trust when the problems of life arise. Why does not bring us the answers that we seek; who, however, can.
Reverend Wilhite spends some time using the story of Job as an example of how we should be. He says that "The Bible is a syringe of adrenaline plunged straight into the heart. (53)" I love that! It really made me think of all of those int he Bible who are torn.
Part 2: Putting the Pieces Back Together
Revernd Wilhite explains that we need to humble ourselves and allow others to help us with our struggles. We have been given a great gift of others to share. Whether those are people in our neighborhood, family, pastor, or The Bible itself that we turn to, they can make our struggles (not easier but) manageable.
I really, really liked the chapters that focus on depression. I think it was a great section that can help those who not only struggle with depression, but those who are family of those who do. He covers the question of medication and therapy with a grace that whatever side of the debate you are on, you can still agree with him. "The Bible indicates that joy is something we choose as much as it is something that happens to us." (148)
The last section (besides the conclusion) is entitled "Learning to Forgive". I love the connections made from stories on forgiveness. The story about Paul and Jayne and Tommy brought tears to my eyes. Forgiveness is a huge part of mending the torn lives that we live.
In the Conclusion Reverend Wilhite says "It may sound like a cheap Sunday school cop-out to suggest that a hurting person read his Bible, pray, and stay connected to the church community. But we don't have to invent new steps to get closer to God and further into healing. The "old" stuff works just fine, if we will actually do it. (175)" I thought this was poignant. Here we are looking for a way to heal our hurt and Reverend Wilhite is reminding us that Christ has laid out a method. It has been preached time and time again, but if we don't trust it, it will not work. We need to put our trust in God and do those things which he has told us to do through his works.
This book would be great for Bible Study classes as it contains a great study guide. I enjoyed sitting and pondering the opening questions before I read. It helped me to focus my study of this book.
My one critique is with the notes. As I am not a member of Rev. Wilhite's congregation I am not familiar with which version of the Bible he is using. I wish it was more specific. Some have NKJV, or KJV after the citation but others do not. I would have liked something like "if not specified these are from the .... version of the Bible", or something to that affect. Small potatoes, I know, but it would make it nice for me.
I did enjoy this book. I have never read one by Reverend Wilhite before, but I would not be opposed to reading his other works if they are in a similar style. Very down to earth.
Part 1: Trusting God When Torn
I like the layout of this book so far. Reverend Jud Wilhite is not going to let you get lost in babbling. He has a great sense of humor in his writing style. It is almost as if he is sitting in the chair next to me.
There was a few quotes that really hit me as I read so far. The first one was describing how as human beings we compare our suffering to others. Someone always has it worse. Western poverty is not the same as poverty in other areas. However, "perspective provides only so much consolation before it stops providing consolation altogether. (2)" This is so true. Even as Christians it is easy to allow Satan to overcome our trust in God. Rev. Wilhite goes on to say that "Why?" is not the question we should be asking, but who. In "who?" we decide who we trust when the problems of life arise. Why does not bring us the answers that we seek; who, however, can.
Reverend Wilhite spends some time using the story of Job as an example of how we should be. He says that "The Bible is a syringe of adrenaline plunged straight into the heart. (53)" I love that! It really made me think of all of those int he Bible who are torn.
Part 2: Putting the Pieces Back Together
Revernd Wilhite explains that we need to humble ourselves and allow others to help us with our struggles. We have been given a great gift of others to share. Whether those are people in our neighborhood, family, pastor, or The Bible itself that we turn to, they can make our struggles (not easier but) manageable.
I really, really liked the chapters that focus on depression. I think it was a great section that can help those who not only struggle with depression, but those who are family of those who do. He covers the question of medication and therapy with a grace that whatever side of the debate you are on, you can still agree with him. "The Bible indicates that joy is something we choose as much as it is something that happens to us." (148)
The last section (besides the conclusion) is entitled "Learning to Forgive". I love the connections made from stories on forgiveness. The story about Paul and Jayne and Tommy brought tears to my eyes. Forgiveness is a huge part of mending the torn lives that we live.
In the Conclusion Reverend Wilhite says "It may sound like a cheap Sunday school cop-out to suggest that a hurting person read his Bible, pray, and stay connected to the church community. But we don't have to invent new steps to get closer to God and further into healing. The "old" stuff works just fine, if we will actually do it. (175)" I thought this was poignant. Here we are looking for a way to heal our hurt and Reverend Wilhite is reminding us that Christ has laid out a method. It has been preached time and time again, but if we don't trust it, it will not work. We need to put our trust in God and do those things which he has told us to do through his works.
This book would be great for Bible Study classes as it contains a great study guide. I enjoyed sitting and pondering the opening questions before I read. It helped me to focus my study of this book.
My one critique is with the notes. As I am not a member of Rev. Wilhite's congregation I am not familiar with which version of the Bible he is using. I wish it was more specific. Some have NKJV, or KJV after the citation but others do not. I would have liked something like "if not specified these are from the .... version of the Bible", or something to that affect. Small potatoes, I know, but it would make it nice for me.
I did enjoy this book. I have never read one by Reverend Wilhite before, but I would not be opposed to reading his other works if they are in a similar style. Very down to earth.
May 15, 2012
Though I am not currently experiencing a fresh trauma, I was interested in reading Jud Wilhite's book, Torn: Trusting God When Life Leaves You in Pieces, because I saw that he diverts readers from "why" questions about their situations to "who" questions.
Almost seven years ago, my 31-year-old sister, athletic and slender, joyful and generous, died suddenly while she was on her regular brisk morning walk. She was at the top of her game, enjoying professional success and exploring new prospects, and was only eight weeks away from her wedding day. To say that her death came as a surprise grossly understates our loss; in the ensuing days, we sought to understand our grief and her absence. My experience was that asking "why" didn't help me. A more pertinent question came to my aid, which I'll tell about later.
In Torn, Wilhite acknowledges that sometimes our pain stems from situations that cannot be adequately explained through "why" questions. He does not downplay the pain that people feel when facing death, injury, illness, betrayal, and more; instead he reminds us that "why" questions "lead to a dark, confusing, frustrating, lonely, disconnected place...'why' keeps you stuck in the pain and chokes out the potential to heal." Wilhite steers readers instead to a thorough look at a series of "who" questions. Who is in control? Who is at the center of your attention - the object of your worship? Who is just? Who can mend what is broken?
Inherent in the answers to the "who" questions, according to Wilhite, is the realization that Jesus chose to suffer on our behalf, and that "he put himself in a position alongside us, identifying with us, to redeem us from our suffering." Alongside such heroes of the faith as St. Augustine, Wilhite argues that we will suffer on this earth, and that our living a good life offers no guarantee against pain. So the final "who" question is, "Who loves you?" If you accept that the answer is God, Wilhite says, then your response, even in crisis, will be trust.
And that trust, we read in Torn, leads us to the practical questions, the "how" questions. How will we put some of the pieces back together? Wilhite asserts that living in community with others is essential. In complement to seeking out others, Wilhite suggests that waiting on God in what feels like complete radio silence develops our characters and even brings forth aspects of us that we might never let come to light otherwise. Wilhite's last instructions to those who suffer are to fight for joy and to forgive. They won't come all at once for most people, he argues, but pursuing small moments of joy and taking steps toward forgiveness will help restore a soul consumed by loss.
"How" was the question that I asked when my sister died. How can I get through this? How will I honor God in this pain? How can I reflect her joyous attitude toward others? How will I help others remember her? How will I best honor her memory?
In our pain, Wilhite says, we can feel lost, and "[t]he key to staying alive for those who get desperately lost is not knowing how to be found, but knowing how to survive until they are found."
Wilhite has a winning book in Torn. I will be ready to pass it on to others I know who are hurting, and though I hope I will not have to do so for a long time, the likelihood is that all too soon, a dear friend or family member will have need of the Christian wisdom and practicality contained in this book.
I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review, but the opinions expressed here are mine.
Almost seven years ago, my 31-year-old sister, athletic and slender, joyful and generous, died suddenly while she was on her regular brisk morning walk. She was at the top of her game, enjoying professional success and exploring new prospects, and was only eight weeks away from her wedding day. To say that her death came as a surprise grossly understates our loss; in the ensuing days, we sought to understand our grief and her absence. My experience was that asking "why" didn't help me. A more pertinent question came to my aid, which I'll tell about later.
In Torn, Wilhite acknowledges that sometimes our pain stems from situations that cannot be adequately explained through "why" questions. He does not downplay the pain that people feel when facing death, injury, illness, betrayal, and more; instead he reminds us that "why" questions "lead to a dark, confusing, frustrating, lonely, disconnected place...'why' keeps you stuck in the pain and chokes out the potential to heal." Wilhite steers readers instead to a thorough look at a series of "who" questions. Who is in control? Who is at the center of your attention - the object of your worship? Who is just? Who can mend what is broken?
Inherent in the answers to the "who" questions, according to Wilhite, is the realization that Jesus chose to suffer on our behalf, and that "he put himself in a position alongside us, identifying with us, to redeem us from our suffering." Alongside such heroes of the faith as St. Augustine, Wilhite argues that we will suffer on this earth, and that our living a good life offers no guarantee against pain. So the final "who" question is, "Who loves you?" If you accept that the answer is God, Wilhite says, then your response, even in crisis, will be trust.
And that trust, we read in Torn, leads us to the practical questions, the "how" questions. How will we put some of the pieces back together? Wilhite asserts that living in community with others is essential. In complement to seeking out others, Wilhite suggests that waiting on God in what feels like complete radio silence develops our characters and even brings forth aspects of us that we might never let come to light otherwise. Wilhite's last instructions to those who suffer are to fight for joy and to forgive. They won't come all at once for most people, he argues, but pursuing small moments of joy and taking steps toward forgiveness will help restore a soul consumed by loss.
"How" was the question that I asked when my sister died. How can I get through this? How will I honor God in this pain? How can I reflect her joyous attitude toward others? How will I help others remember her? How will I best honor her memory?
In our pain, Wilhite says, we can feel lost, and "[t]he key to staying alive for those who get desperately lost is not knowing how to be found, but knowing how to survive until they are found."
Wilhite has a winning book in Torn. I will be ready to pass it on to others I know who are hurting, and though I hope I will not have to do so for a long time, the likelihood is that all too soon, a dear friend or family member will have need of the Christian wisdom and practicality contained in this book.
I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review, but the opinions expressed here are mine.
February 1, 2016
Jud Wilhite lays out the format from the very introduction in Torn: Trusting God When Life Leaves You in Pieces. He shares just briefly about some difficult periods in his life which led to him asking questions. But he was not content to simply ask why suffering happens. The important questions, in his mind, are who and how. Specifically, who do we turn to when difficulties come our way and how will we move forward.
That is exactly how the rest of the book is laid out. Wilhite spends the first half of the book looking at the story of Job and answering the Who beyond our suffering. Notice I didn't write the Who behind our suffering, as if God were to be blamed. God is beyond this, and thus, the Who we can turn to in the midst of our troubles.
The problems Job faced were squarely on the shoulders of satan, a being so inferior to God that Wilhite compares them to a boxing match between Muhammad Ali and Sponge Bob Square Pants. Yeah, it's ridiculous. But because God is so far superior, the promise God offers can be our steady hope.
That's great and all for the next life, but what about this one? Part two dives into the practical and Wilhite starts right where I think we all should. Once we've placed our trust in God, we need to find strength in community. Having just read another book where the author struggled and then left the church, it is refreshing to see that many still value what the Church has to offer, a place to be ourselves even while we struggle.
Using personal and found stories, I found Wilhite to write very practically and quite optimistically. That is a much needed combination when dealing with pain and suffering.
You can find this book for yourself here.
I received this book for free from my good friends at Waterbrook Multnomah. You ca find out more about this book and its author at the following links.
That is exactly how the rest of the book is laid out. Wilhite spends the first half of the book looking at the story of Job and answering the Who beyond our suffering. Notice I didn't write the Who behind our suffering, as if God were to be blamed. God is beyond this, and thus, the Who we can turn to in the midst of our troubles.
The problems Job faced were squarely on the shoulders of satan, a being so inferior to God that Wilhite compares them to a boxing match between Muhammad Ali and Sponge Bob Square Pants. Yeah, it's ridiculous. But because God is so far superior, the promise God offers can be our steady hope.
That's great and all for the next life, but what about this one? Part two dives into the practical and Wilhite starts right where I think we all should. Once we've placed our trust in God, we need to find strength in community. Having just read another book where the author struggled and then left the church, it is refreshing to see that many still value what the Church has to offer, a place to be ourselves even while we struggle.
Using personal and found stories, I found Wilhite to write very practically and quite optimistically. That is a much needed combination when dealing with pain and suffering.
You can find this book for yourself here.
I received this book for free from my good friends at Waterbrook Multnomah. You ca find out more about this book and its author at the following links.
November 17, 2011
"When our world comes crashing down, it does more than steal our peace. Something inside us tears. We feel broken, stranded—torn." When I read that on the back cover of the book, I could immediately identify with this statement. Pastor Jud Wilhite has gone through his own moments of being torn and turned to the Bible as he sought comfort and understanding. He also found that rather than asking "Why?", he needed to ask, “Who?”. Who can be trusted to help mend the ripped pieces of your hopes, dreams, life? Can we trust God when the Whys? are not revealed?
In Torn: Trusting God When Life Leaves You In Pieces, Jud looks at practical ways to deal with depression, anger, and being robbed of your joy. Sometimes there is a clear reason why someone is going through a valley, but it can also come on for reasons no one can pinpoint. One sentence in the book that caught my attention is, "You can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it." He also broke down Philippians 4:8 ("One final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." NASB) in a manner that that I found to be a drink of Living Water as I wander through a dry valley right now.
In Torn: Trusting God When Life Leaves You In Pieces, Jud looks at practical ways to deal with depression, anger, and being robbed of your joy. Sometimes there is a clear reason why someone is going through a valley, but it can also come on for reasons no one can pinpoint. One sentence in the book that caught my attention is, "You can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it." He also broke down Philippians 4:8 ("One final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." NASB) in a manner that that I found to be a drink of Living Water as I wander through a dry valley right now.
December 5, 2011
This book offers hope when hurting, peace from the earth's trials and love from the only one who can ease pain, God. I learned so much from this book and I took my time in reading it so the author's words and thoughts could sink in and I could reflect on what I had read. The personal life stories contained within this well written book tear at your heart and I realized that my life has not been as difficult as what others have endured. This book brings understanding and truth that no matter what happens you are not alone and that suffering is just not for one alone, that God and others can help. Each chapter and section contained something that I was able to personally benefit from or help others with, topics such as: learning to trust, handling depression, guilt, shame, anger and how to forgive, all relevant to everyone. Book also includes an extensive study guide. I highly recommend this book to all who are hurting or who want to be a help to others who are torn and hurting. I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.
May 13, 2025
An Uplifting Companion for Life’s Most Difficult Seasons
Torn by Jud Wilhite is a deeply compassionate and encouraging book for anyone walking through pain, loss, or uncertainty. With honesty and humility, Wilhite speaks directly to the heart of those who feel broken or abandoned, reminding us that God is still present—even in the midst of our deepest wounds.
What sets this book apart is its blend of biblical truth, real-life stories, and pastoral insight. Wilhite doesn’t offer shallow platitudes or quick fixes. Instead, he guides readers gently toward a faith that can survive the storm—a faith that chooses to trust God even when everything feels torn apart.
Each chapter offers a reminder that our suffering is not wasted, and that God’s grace can meet us in our darkest moments. It’s a book full of hope, empathy, and quiet strength.
Whether you’re currently struggling or walking beside someone who is, Torn is a powerful reminder that even when life leaves us in pieces, God is able to make something whole and beautiful again.
Torn by Jud Wilhite is a deeply compassionate and encouraging book for anyone walking through pain, loss, or uncertainty. With honesty and humility, Wilhite speaks directly to the heart of those who feel broken or abandoned, reminding us that God is still present—even in the midst of our deepest wounds.
What sets this book apart is its blend of biblical truth, real-life stories, and pastoral insight. Wilhite doesn’t offer shallow platitudes or quick fixes. Instead, he guides readers gently toward a faith that can survive the storm—a faith that chooses to trust God even when everything feels torn apart.
Each chapter offers a reminder that our suffering is not wasted, and that God’s grace can meet us in our darkest moments. It’s a book full of hope, empathy, and quiet strength.
Whether you’re currently struggling or walking beside someone who is, Torn is a powerful reminder that even when life leaves us in pieces, God is able to make something whole and beautiful again.
August 14, 2011
Goodreads Giveaway win!
Written in a conversational tone and references secular things for easy comparisons (movies, TV shows, Apple and Starbucks). Humor and understanding for life's big and small frustrations. Excellent summations of each chapter to clarify main points. The study guide in the book is a great resource to allow someone to talk about their pain with a group through guided discussion.
The best chapter of the book is Chapter 2 Reframing Your Expectations. An excerpt: ".... When God puts people,things, and experiences in our lives, he does not give them to us to own. An even better way to look at them might be as blessings God gives us the privilege to manage."
It seems a lot of care went into writing this book and it is well done.
Written in a conversational tone and references secular things for easy comparisons (movies, TV shows, Apple and Starbucks). Humor and understanding for life's big and small frustrations. Excellent summations of each chapter to clarify main points. The study guide in the book is a great resource to allow someone to talk about their pain with a group through guided discussion.
The best chapter of the book is Chapter 2 Reframing Your Expectations. An excerpt: ".... When God puts people,things, and experiences in our lives, he does not give them to us to own. An even better way to look at them might be as blessings God gives us the privilege to manage."
It seems a lot of care went into writing this book and it is well done.
September 19, 2011
TORN: TRUSTING GOD WHEN LIFE LEAVES YOU IN PIECES by Jud Wilhite is a great Christian Living tool. It is written with details. When every question seems to go unanswered,you wonder why,but God's answers are sometimes hard for us to hear. This book explores your questions as well as God's answers and his mysteries. It gives you practical ways to have joy,deal with depression,anger,make decisions,help a broken heart,your ease your suffering while having a relationship with God. A great resource tool while giving insightful teachings. Received for review from the publisher.Details can be found at Multnomah Books and My Book Addiction Reviews.
November 22, 2011
This book came into my possession just one week after the sudden passing of my spouse. To read its pages were painful and necessary as I struggle in what Wilhite describes in the book as the Dark Night of the Soul (Referencing St. John of the Cross). Page after page I am reminded that God was good before my tragedy and He is still good now. I may never know why I entered into these circumstances, but by focusing on the WHO instead of the WHY, I am more apt to see God's blessing through this brokenness. Wilhite does a fantastic job of making it relate-able and easy to understand without being a biblical scholar.
October 11, 2011
I found this book was insightful and full of "How to" Trust in Christ when we don't understand "why" we have this pain. This is a great read for anyone struggling with depression, or dealing with loss. This book is also helpful in counseling or helping someone who is depressed or torn by life's darker moments. I enjoyed the book format and movement, supplying many scriptures from the Bible. Highly recommend
November 22, 2011
Jud wilhite skillfully talks to those in pain or who have known pain. He mixes a personal storytelling style with comforting scripture, practical thoughts and inspired direction. I know that every person at one time or another has been "Torn". There are the questions and the feelings and the searching. Wilhite is not afraid of the tough questions and facing the pain. I found several times where I just had to set the book down so that I could mull over the words and then later continue on.
August 22, 2011
I received Torn: Trusting God When Life Leaves You in Pieces in a first-reads give away. Take your time reading it. Mull it over and share it with others. Plenty to take in and a very down to earth delivery.
April 20, 2012
This book was very informative! I found out a lot about myself and the things i need to change in my life....
I would recommend this book to everybody wether you are going through a hard time or not.
I would recommend this book to everybody wether you are going through a hard time or not.
July 30, 2011
Goodreads giveaway!
What an awesome self help book. It's really for people who are more religious based, because, as the title says, God is the main element in here.
There's advice in there that helps you rethink situations and how to deal.
What an awesome self help book. It's really for people who are more religious based, because, as the title says, God is the main element in here.
There's advice in there that helps you rethink situations and how to deal.
May 10, 2012
This is a quick, easy read. Although nothing in it was earth shattering, it was well-written and a good reminder of the truth. I enjoyed the fact that it was clear and simple, especially in light of the fact that talking about a subject that often becomes theologically cumbersome.
August 4, 2012
Just finished reading Torn. Overall I found it to be a very good read. I appreciated the honesty of the Author and his ability to communicate the reality of the emotions that one can experience when being or feeling "Torn".
September 30, 2012
I thought that Wilhite showed a good bit of intuition and experience as he wrote about Torn. I have a review posted to my blog: http://oneenglishteacher.wordpress.co...
Want to read
June 20, 2011I thik I need this book.
September 23, 2011
Another great book by Jud. Thanks for making it a series.
I bought this book from Central's 242 Cafe and Bookstore and you can too.
I bought this book from Central's 242 Cafe and Bookstore and you can too.
May 1, 2015
One of the best books about pain, suffering, and forgiveness I have come across
July 8, 2012
Not my favorite, but I know others like it.
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