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Close to the Bone: Life Threatening Illness and the Search for Meaning
The author of the best-selling Goddesses in Every Woman examines the experiences of the seriously ill from both a spiritual and pragmatic viewpoint and discusses how facing mortality can be a life-transforming process. Reprint. 20,000 first printing.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1996
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398 people want to read
About the author
Jean Shinoda Bolen
59 books480 followersJean Shinoda Bolen, M. D. is a psychiatrist, Jungian analyst, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California San Francisco, a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and recipient of the Institute for Health and Healing’s "Pioneers in Art, Science, and the Soul of Healing Award". She is a former board member of the Ms. Foundation for Women.
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November 16, 2014My mother-in-law has given birth to five babies, miscarried one, and has been present at the births of at least 3 other babies. She has also been present with at least 3 or 4 people as they died. She always talks about how the processes are so clearly the reverse of each other - watching the life come into a baby as it starts to breathe; seeing the life leave a dying person as they stop breathing. I have not been present at a death, but what she says makes sense to me.
This isn't a book about birth or dying, exactly. It's about the process the human soul goes through preparing for either birth or - Bolen's main focus - death or recovery from serious illness. In some ways, there isn't a lot of difference between preparing to die or preparing to live or give life. It's a preparation for change from one state of being to a different state of being.
There are many passages in this book I feel enriched by and know I will use in different ways. This is one of my favorites:
"I hope that I can die well - whatever that may mean - when the time comes. . . . When I was pregnant and knew I would be going into labor and delivery for the first time, I also hoped I could do it well. I did not really know what it would be like . . . Just as I wanted a natural childbirth because I wanted to be conscious, so do I want to be conscious at the moment of my death. Some people want to be asleep when they die, just as many women want to be unconscious when they deliver babies. Also, I wanted my newborns to come when they were ready to come, just as I hope to die when I am ready to go."
This isn't a book about birth or dying, exactly. It's about the process the human soul goes through preparing for either birth or - Bolen's main focus - death or recovery from serious illness. In some ways, there isn't a lot of difference between preparing to die or preparing to live or give life. It's a preparation for change from one state of being to a different state of being.
There are many passages in this book I feel enriched by and know I will use in different ways. This is one of my favorites:
"I hope that I can die well - whatever that may mean - when the time comes. . . . When I was pregnant and knew I would be going into labor and delivery for the first time, I also hoped I could do it well. I did not really know what it would be like . . . Just as I wanted a natural childbirth because I wanted to be conscious, so do I want to be conscious at the moment of my death. Some people want to be asleep when they die, just as many women want to be unconscious when they deliver babies. Also, I wanted my newborns to come when they were ready to come, just as I hope to die when I am ready to go."
August 14, 2021
This is quite a different book from many of the Cancer books that give the details of how people recovered from the particular cancers that they found they had. Many, many of those books have a recommendation of dietary or unusual procedures that helped them achieve full remission.
They deal with the mental aspect to some extent, some quite a lot, others really not so much.
But Close to the Bone has almost no suggestions on diet etc.
What it covers are the much more subtle issues that a diagnosis and an experience of cancer bring. Some of the stories tell of survival, some only how the person tackled the experience of dying but the theme is that having the experience is deeply connected to a soul issue that the person is being presented with and the opportunity to learn something.
If you are like me, working through the issues of having a serious meeting with terminal cancer, then there is much to ponder and this book is a delight to explore.
They deal with the mental aspect to some extent, some quite a lot, others really not so much.
But Close to the Bone has almost no suggestions on diet etc.
What it covers are the much more subtle issues that a diagnosis and an experience of cancer bring. Some of the stories tell of survival, some only how the person tackled the experience of dying but the theme is that having the experience is deeply connected to a soul issue that the person is being presented with and the opportunity to learn something.
If you are like me, working through the issues of having a serious meeting with terminal cancer, then there is much to ponder and this book is a delight to explore.
March 16, 2014
A truly wise Crone, Bolen's Close to the Bone is a gift for anyone affected or impacted by life-threatening illnesses. This book sat on my shelf for over 2 years before I was ready to read it : some 2.5 years on from a cancer diagnosis. So much of the wisdom & mythological reflections in this book resonated with me - plus it's beautifully written in a sensitive way. A real keeper of a book : for now, my mantra is "I wonder what might happen next".
July 28, 2022
Not for me. As someone living with stage 4 cancer, I cannot spend one minute on a book that frames my cancer as a gift with so much insight to be gained. I know that some people make significant changes to their priorities when they get a terrible illness; others of us don't. Read with caution if you are someone who was living with intention and happen to be saddled with an unfortunate diagnosis.
January 20, 2019
Very interesting view of serious illness as a journey.
November 28, 2020
Soul warming
This book fills your heart and soul with joy. It is a guide through the most difficult times. We all need to read this at some point, when we are ready
This book fills your heart and soul with joy. It is a guide through the most difficult times. We all need to read this at some point, when we are ready
January 24, 2024
Es un libro muy valioso, ya que abarca diferentes temas y muchas alternativas para el paciente como para el terapeuta.
Se menciona la elección personal de la reacción ante una enfermedad. Es muy importante poder darle una opción a las personas y abrir la puerta de todas aquellas alternativas que no conoce para que pueda tener mayor gama al elegir sus decisiones.
La facilidad con la que realiza los viajes al inframundo narrados a través de los mitos y llevarlos en paralelo con las diferentes situaciones que puede atravesar un enfermo, es sin duda, tomar la metáfora para una análisis profundo interior.
Nos hace mención de todas las diferentes herramientas a las que podemos acceder como terapeuta, para poder aplicarlas y hacer un trabajo más profundo con el enfermo. Como paciente, da la pauta para tener la conexión de la conciencia del cuerpo físico, el psique y el espíritu. Así como para que todos los que le rodean al paciente también puedan conectar con quien pasa ese dolor y vive ese sufrir; ya que el que le va acompañando, también se verá inmerso en ese dolor y ese sufrimiento.
Enseñanzas de que una enfermedad puede vivirse de diferentes formas y se puede evolucionar a través de ellas. Quienes logran tomar consciencia y disfrutarla por el beneficio positivo, hablará de que es lo mejor que le sucede en la vida pues les impulsa a realizar cambios que le sacan de su vida monótona, de algo que le da fuerza para realizar algo nuevo. Y a quienes se dejan morir. Oportunidad donde se observa que puede haber alternativas a la medicina alopática para poder sanar, mejorar o en ciertos casos, alargar la vida.
Dentro de este periodo de enfermedad, si el paciente muestra un interés especial, hace modificaciones al estilo de vida que lleva, es decir, se nutre mejor, hace cambios en su rutina, cuida de las células para sanar en todos los ámbitos, puede encontrarse con resultados altamente benéficos como el que desaparezca un cáncer y así, lograr que no regrese más.
El hombre sabe que va a morir a diferencia de los demás mamíferos. Cuando toma consciencia de su vida y la vive día a día, hace lo que es mejor a cada instante, sería un viaje al interior de cada quien el cuestionarse para que está aquí en presente, viviendo en el aquí y en el ahora. Dejar de lado el pasado, no situarse en el futuro. Y así, disfrutar del sentido que cada uno de los hombres tiene en su vida en plena consciencia.
Me quedo con una pregunta, ya que al momento en que se menciona la alergia al gato, comentan acerca de las diferentes personalidades que puede tener. Si existen diferentes personalidades en algunas personas, y sólo una enferma o tiene la alergia, entonces hablamos de que existe un inconsciente, o hay varios inconscientes pues cada personalidad tendría uno. Se basa por persona (ser) o varía según la personalidad. No me quedo aquí, seguiré investigando al respecto todos los cuestionamientos que me ha dejado esta lectura, así como el seguir aprendiendo diferentes herramientas para poder apoyar a más personas que atraviesen por este tipo de enfermedades.
Gran reflexión interior ha dejado en mí esta lectura. Mi vida a tenido muchos cambios y me siento muy afortunada de lograr llegar a esos cuestionamientos sin enfermar. Llego a vivir mi vida con intensidad positiva sin necesidad de caer enferma para tener esas reflexiones. Tampoco a nadie a mi alrededor con síntomas. Agradezco que pueda conectar y crecer, de hacer conciencia profunda y tener tranquilidad, paz y fuerza cada día. Cada nuevo amanecer, nuevos aprendizajes, constante movimiento, sacar a flote lo mejor de mí.
Se menciona la elección personal de la reacción ante una enfermedad. Es muy importante poder darle una opción a las personas y abrir la puerta de todas aquellas alternativas que no conoce para que pueda tener mayor gama al elegir sus decisiones.
La facilidad con la que realiza los viajes al inframundo narrados a través de los mitos y llevarlos en paralelo con las diferentes situaciones que puede atravesar un enfermo, es sin duda, tomar la metáfora para una análisis profundo interior.
Nos hace mención de todas las diferentes herramientas a las que podemos acceder como terapeuta, para poder aplicarlas y hacer un trabajo más profundo con el enfermo. Como paciente, da la pauta para tener la conexión de la conciencia del cuerpo físico, el psique y el espíritu. Así como para que todos los que le rodean al paciente también puedan conectar con quien pasa ese dolor y vive ese sufrir; ya que el que le va acompañando, también se verá inmerso en ese dolor y ese sufrimiento.
Enseñanzas de que una enfermedad puede vivirse de diferentes formas y se puede evolucionar a través de ellas. Quienes logran tomar consciencia y disfrutarla por el beneficio positivo, hablará de que es lo mejor que le sucede en la vida pues les impulsa a realizar cambios que le sacan de su vida monótona, de algo que le da fuerza para realizar algo nuevo. Y a quienes se dejan morir. Oportunidad donde se observa que puede haber alternativas a la medicina alopática para poder sanar, mejorar o en ciertos casos, alargar la vida.
Dentro de este periodo de enfermedad, si el paciente muestra un interés especial, hace modificaciones al estilo de vida que lleva, es decir, se nutre mejor, hace cambios en su rutina, cuida de las células para sanar en todos los ámbitos, puede encontrarse con resultados altamente benéficos como el que desaparezca un cáncer y así, lograr que no regrese más.
El hombre sabe que va a morir a diferencia de los demás mamíferos. Cuando toma consciencia de su vida y la vive día a día, hace lo que es mejor a cada instante, sería un viaje al interior de cada quien el cuestionarse para que está aquí en presente, viviendo en el aquí y en el ahora. Dejar de lado el pasado, no situarse en el futuro. Y así, disfrutar del sentido que cada uno de los hombres tiene en su vida en plena consciencia.
Me quedo con una pregunta, ya que al momento en que se menciona la alergia al gato, comentan acerca de las diferentes personalidades que puede tener. Si existen diferentes personalidades en algunas personas, y sólo una enferma o tiene la alergia, entonces hablamos de que existe un inconsciente, o hay varios inconscientes pues cada personalidad tendría uno. Se basa por persona (ser) o varía según la personalidad. No me quedo aquí, seguiré investigando al respecto todos los cuestionamientos que me ha dejado esta lectura, así como el seguir aprendiendo diferentes herramientas para poder apoyar a más personas que atraviesen por este tipo de enfermedades.
Gran reflexión interior ha dejado en mí esta lectura. Mi vida a tenido muchos cambios y me siento muy afortunada de lograr llegar a esos cuestionamientos sin enfermar. Llego a vivir mi vida con intensidad positiva sin necesidad de caer enferma para tener esas reflexiones. Tampoco a nadie a mi alrededor con síntomas. Agradezco que pueda conectar y crecer, de hacer conciencia profunda y tener tranquilidad, paz y fuerza cada día. Cada nuevo amanecer, nuevos aprendizajes, constante movimiento, sacar a flote lo mejor de mí.
December 4, 2023
Ha sido una lectura esclarecedora, ver la enfermedad a través de algunos mitos ha sido curioso, me ha ayudado a comprender procesos en los cuales estoy inmersa actualmente. El mito de Perséfone y Démeter o el de Innana son algunos de ellos y es muy enriquecedor ver algunas fases de la enfermedad a través de estos mitos.
Una enfermedad mortal constituye una crisis para el espíritu, es todo un camino espiritual que se abre de una forma inesperada, brusca, un camino que empieza con muchos miedos pero donde hay esperanza. La autora habla de muchos casos y estudios aportando datos. Es duro de leer en algunos momentos cuando estás atravesando la noche oscura del alma, pero también aporta luz y esperanza.
Una enfermedad mortal constituye una crisis para el espíritu, es todo un camino espiritual que se abre de una forma inesperada, brusca, un camino que empieza con muchos miedos pero donde hay esperanza. La autora habla de muchos casos y estudios aportando datos. Es duro de leer en algunos momentos cuando estás atravesando la noche oscura del alma, pero también aporta luz y esperanza.
March 13, 2020
As the Introduction for Close to the Bone states, "Life-threatening illness is a crisis for the soul." And once one who faces such a diagnosis understands that everything crumbling around him/her is pretty much a normal thing during this crisis, then that person can begin to make decisions and live life in a way that provides meaning - and hope - when hope seems like a luxury.
I read Close to the Bon shortly after my melanoma diagnosis and it helped to put a lot of things in perspective.
I read Close to the Bon shortly after my melanoma diagnosis and it helped to put a lot of things in perspective.
January 16, 2023
“Somos seres espirituales que recorren una senda humana”
Hay tantas cosas que aprenderle a este libro, narra la enfermedad como un viaje espiritual a través de mitos, nos habla de la enfermedad como algo más que lo médicamente conocido.
Los momentos difíciles son aquellos que nos enseñan,
nuestro sufrimiento tiene sentido,
quien comprende su propio dolor puede empatizar con los demás,
la compasión nos incita a ayudar a los demás.
Hay tantas cosas que aprenderle a este libro, narra la enfermedad como un viaje espiritual a través de mitos, nos habla de la enfermedad como algo más que lo médicamente conocido.
Los momentos difíciles son aquellos que nos enseñan,
nuestro sufrimiento tiene sentido,
quien comprende su propio dolor puede empatizar con los demás,
la compasión nos incita a ayudar a los demás.
May 17, 2025
I read this book this year, and it seems dated to me. But maybe I just don't fully appreciate woowoo Jungian B.S. I'm giving this three stars because there is nothing really wrong with it; it's a very typical self-help book of its type. I just don't think it has any actual depth. But read some of the other reviews; I may have just missed something.
January 5, 2020
For anyone on a cancer journey...or anyone accompanying someone who is, this book will support you in understanding and seeing the richness and depth the experience can bring to your soul and human life...
November 20, 2019
A really beautiful & important book.
February 5, 2009
Soulful guidance from an authentic and heart-felt perspective…
CLOSE TO THE BONE
Life-Threatening Illness as a Soul Journey
10th Anniversary Revised Edition
Jean Shinoda Bolen
It is terrifying to be healthy one moment, and then to suddenly find there is a malignancy that could kill you, a sudden loss of consciousness, waking up in the I.C.U. after a heart attack, or any other close call, when something is so wrong that nothing will ever be the same. In Close to the Bone (Conari Press, April 2007), Bolen recognizes that a life-threatening illness is a crisis for both body and soul, that it can be a wake-up call or a turning point.
A serious illness has the impact of a stone hitting the still surface of a lake, sending concentric rings of disturbance out, as feelings, thoughts, and reactions radiate out from this center. It impacts relationships, it stirs the depths of others, it potentially brings the patient and those who are affected “close to the bone,” into the proximity of the soul. Soul questions arise about the meaning of life when the mind is ill or the body is ailing. Healing and recovery may depend as much or more upon a deepening of relationships and connection to one’s own soul and spiritual life, as on medical or psychiatric expertise.
Most people don’t see a connection between what ails the body and their soul’s need for authenticity, love, and purpose. Bolen affirms that the price of going into the realm of confusion, facing the fear of death and shadow, is worth the reward of spiritual growth. The outcome depends upon paying attention, becoming conscious of what truly matters, and acting upon what we know to save our life or to heal our relationships and our soul.
Close to the Bone is meant to help and heal, to make people less afraid, and to encourage them to trust the wisdom they have inside – what they know in their bones.
Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. is a psychiatrist, Jungian analyst, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California San Francisco, a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and the recipient of the Institute for Health and Healing’s “Pioneers in Art, Science, and the Soul of Healing Award.” Close to the Bone grew out of her involvement with Healing Journeys: Cancer as a Turning Point conferences, the initial Planetree project, and her private practice. She is an internationally known lecturer and a best-selling author of The Tao of Psychology, Goddesses in Everywoman, Gods in Everyman, Ring of Power, Crossing to Avalon, The Millionth Circle, Goddesses in Older Women, Crones Don’t Whine and Urgent Message from Mother.
CLOSE TO THE BONE
Life-Threatening Illness as a Soul Journey
10th Anniversary Revised Edition
Jean Shinoda Bolen
It is terrifying to be healthy one moment, and then to suddenly find there is a malignancy that could kill you, a sudden loss of consciousness, waking up in the I.C.U. after a heart attack, or any other close call, when something is so wrong that nothing will ever be the same. In Close to the Bone (Conari Press, April 2007), Bolen recognizes that a life-threatening illness is a crisis for both body and soul, that it can be a wake-up call or a turning point.
A serious illness has the impact of a stone hitting the still surface of a lake, sending concentric rings of disturbance out, as feelings, thoughts, and reactions radiate out from this center. It impacts relationships, it stirs the depths of others, it potentially brings the patient and those who are affected “close to the bone,” into the proximity of the soul. Soul questions arise about the meaning of life when the mind is ill or the body is ailing. Healing and recovery may depend as much or more upon a deepening of relationships and connection to one’s own soul and spiritual life, as on medical or psychiatric expertise.
Most people don’t see a connection between what ails the body and their soul’s need for authenticity, love, and purpose. Bolen affirms that the price of going into the realm of confusion, facing the fear of death and shadow, is worth the reward of spiritual growth. The outcome depends upon paying attention, becoming conscious of what truly matters, and acting upon what we know to save our life or to heal our relationships and our soul.
Close to the Bone is meant to help and heal, to make people less afraid, and to encourage them to trust the wisdom they have inside – what they know in their bones.
Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. is a psychiatrist, Jungian analyst, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California San Francisco, a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and the recipient of the Institute for Health and Healing’s “Pioneers in Art, Science, and the Soul of Healing Award.” Close to the Bone grew out of her involvement with Healing Journeys: Cancer as a Turning Point conferences, the initial Planetree project, and her private practice. She is an internationally known lecturer and a best-selling author of The Tao of Psychology, Goddesses in Everywoman, Gods in Everyman, Ring of Power, Crossing to Avalon, The Millionth Circle, Goddesses in Older Women, Crones Don’t Whine and Urgent Message from Mother.
February 27, 2020
Highly recommended book
Very easy to read! Books like this one are really important for all of us. Not only in hard times of our life but always.
Very easy to read! Books like this one are really important for all of us. Not only in hard times of our life but always.
April 20, 2016
Not a book for everyone, but for the right audience, this is an amazing book for individuals that find themselves at this point on their life journey dealing with a life threatening illness. Incredibly well written, I highly recommend it. (This would be a wonderful read for family members/ loved ones too)
March 9, 2016
For those who are suffering from illnesses and who know people who are, this book shows how some people overcome their sicknesses and some don't. Jean also refers a lot to Greek mythology as well as Christianity in the book. Being positive does help when one is going through life threatening illnesses. Using affirmations and having a good outlook will aid greatly in the healing process.
January 10, 2008
Great read, archetypes and Greek mythology, humanity and the finite experience of our lifetime. Bolen has tremendous sensitivity, insight and offers powerful support towards our acceptance of the inevitable.
August 1, 2010
This book could be very useful and eye-opening for the non-spiritual person faced with life threatening illness. It gives lots of ways to access some meaningful understanding of our human spirit and living out our purpose.
August 17, 2011
This book needs to be read by anyone that has had a serious illness, loss, surgery, or even hardship. It does feel rather "fluffy" at times but the book teaches (and reminds) you of how fragile life can be and that sometimes it takes a horrible event to turn it into a wonderful one.
June 11, 2012
Bolen's intention to offer metaphors, myths, and rituals as a means of moving through important transitional periods in life and death is profound. She provides insight into illness (and other transitions) at a soul level. Beautifully written.
November 10, 2016
Deep insight into the spiritual aspects of life and the psychological processes that play out during terminal illnesses and how your caregivers are affected.
February 20, 2013
This is a must read for anyone on the journey between life and dying; filled with wisdom.
August 13, 2016
¡He registrado un libro en BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/14147438
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/14147438
October 6, 2017
Not for me, so much. Quickly skimmed.
Quotes:
"If suffering or dying is the task, doing it well or poorly is a choice." (p. 35)
"I have found that once we have clarity to know what is right for us and what is wrong for us, we are invariably tested to see if we really got the lesson." (p. 46)
Quotes:
"If suffering or dying is the task, doing it well or poorly is a choice." (p. 35)
"I have found that once we have clarity to know what is right for us and what is wrong for us, we are invariably tested to see if we really got the lesson." (p. 46)
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews