I gave this short novel, the third in Andrews' "Orphans" mini-series, 4 stars rather than my customary Andrews 3 because it had some of the most over-the-top, crazy, offensive moments that made me laugh out loud, and it all focused around this darling character who was constantly wondering, "Why the hell am I in this stupid book?"
Brooke is thirteen, has grown up in an orphanage, and is a talented athlete. She is adopted by the fabulously wealthy Thompsons, Pamela and Peter, and is enrolled in a posh boarding school called Agnes Fodor. First of all, Brooke is forbidden by batshit Pamela to speak of her beginnings, because apparently being an orphan (which as a term makes me think of 19th century London) is like the red ring of social death. She joins the softball team, loves her coach and friends, and has a decent time, but there is one problem- her new mommy is insane.
Pamela is obsessed with looking perfect, and she smothers Brooke with new clothes, makeup, and beauty routines. She wants to make Brooke a perfect mini-Pamela by teaching her proper etiquette and enrolling her in beauty pageants. She also has these horrific, laughable sexist one-liners, like:
"You shouldn't be proud when you beat men at a sport, you should be proud when they praise your beauty!"
"You're too muscular, like an Amazon! I need to take you to the doctor for some feminine growth supplements."
And a VC classic:
"I'm not one of those LIBERATED women!"
THE HORROR! When was this written, 1960? I know Pamela is supposed to be this over-the-top caricature of a villain, but she was just laughable. The best part was at the end when she literally swooned because Brooke cut her hair, then they brought her to a foster home. Andrews seriously knows nothing about the system- you can't just dump kids off when they make you mad! Seriously!
This wasn't the worst VC book I've read, in fact, I liked Brooke as a character and I liked how she stood up to her new mother, unlike the girls in the previous novels. There was also no love interest in this book, which is refreshing. I like each book in this series more and more...they are just so deliciously BAD.