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No Bed of Roses: An Autobiography
Her story is at the heart of the Hollywood story. She started her film career at seventeen, competed all her life with her famous sister Olivia de Havilland, and was pursued by men like Howard Hughes, Prince Aly Khan, Adlai Stevenson.
In her new book, she tells what it's like to be the youngest woman to win the Academy Award, and what it's like to fail on four separate nights. Her name is Joan Fontaine and No Bed Of Roses is the story no one else could write for her. The most glamorous, candid, and personal of all the Hollywood "tell-all" stories with 16 pages of photographs.
In her new book, she tells what it's like to be the youngest woman to win the Academy Award, and what it's like to fail on four separate nights. Her name is Joan Fontaine and No Bed Of Roses is the story no one else could write for her. The most glamorous, candid, and personal of all the Hollywood "tell-all" stories with 16 pages of photographs.
326 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1978
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About the author
Joan Fontaine
5 books10 followersJoan Fontaine, her professional name, was born Joan de Beauvoir de Havilland, in Tokyo to British parents.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
February 28, 2017
Olivia de Havilland has always been one of my favorite actresses and I'd always wondered what was the reason for the feud with her little sister, Joan Fontaine.
I read this book as a teen but I can still recall this absolutely spiteful and hateful account of Joan's life with Olivia. Most of the book was spent dwelling on Olivia as Joan never missed a chance to besmirch Olivia's character. She also wrote about her career when she wasn't feeling sorry for herself for not being as pretty and talented as Olivia.
Reading Joan's side of the story about the famous feud I can understand why Olivia had disliked her vicious sister from childhood and wanted nothing to do with her. Olivia was always a class act and never mentioned the feud or this particular book painting her as a monster.
Sorry Joan, but Olivia will be remembered for a long time after you are forgotten.
I read this book as a teen but I can still recall this absolutely spiteful and hateful account of Joan's life with Olivia. Most of the book was spent dwelling on Olivia as Joan never missed a chance to besmirch Olivia's character. She also wrote about her career when she wasn't feeling sorry for herself for not being as pretty and talented as Olivia.
Reading Joan's side of the story about the famous feud I can understand why Olivia had disliked her vicious sister from childhood and wanted nothing to do with her. Olivia was always a class act and never mentioned the feud or this particular book painting her as a monster.
Sorry Joan, but Olivia will be remembered for a long time after you are forgotten.
April 8, 2025
This is a 2025 review of my 1999 reading of Joan Fontaine’s memoir No Bed of Roses.
As a fan of Alfred Hitchcock’s Rebecca, and all things old Hollywood- finding this memoir in a pile of used books was a real treat. I don’t know if it’s even available on print now, but having read it actually had been a bore.
What I remember most about this book is that it seemed Miss Fontaine seemed bitter at not being as successful as big sister Olivia de Havilland. Even as she beat Ms de Havilland to an Oscar in 1941, it seemed she wasn’t truly happy.
She seemed to have had troubles with not only her sister, but the men in her life, including actor Brian Aherne and Bill Dozier, daughter Deborah, and her adopted daughter Martita. It always felt she was blaming something else or someone for her choices.
Fontaine writes about her contentious working relationships with Alfred Hitchcock, Laurence Olivier and Vivien Leigh. And finally of how her mother Lilian had probably been responsible for the sibling rivalry she had with Ms de Havilland.
There are triumphs too: Fontaine was a licensed pilot, was one of the youngest Best Actress Oscar winners until Marlee Matlin (from 1941-1986!) and fun fact, in 1941, was nominated against sister Olivia de Havilland and de Havilland’s best friend Bette Davis for the Oscar, defeating both!
And her Oscar winning role in Suspicion is the only time a Hitchcock picture had a best actress win, and her film collaboration with him, Rebecca, would be the only picture Hitchcock would win for Best Picture. Fontaine starred in two Hitchcock classics back to back, she will probably be remembered most for Rebecca.
It’s a disjointed memoir from what I remember. Filled with bitterness and anger, no peace or accountability for her actions, even more annoying than Faye Dunaway’s or Joan Crawford’s memoirs.
As a fan of Alfred Hitchcock’s Rebecca, and all things old Hollywood- finding this memoir in a pile of used books was a real treat. I don’t know if it’s even available on print now, but having read it actually had been a bore.
What I remember most about this book is that it seemed Miss Fontaine seemed bitter at not being as successful as big sister Olivia de Havilland. Even as she beat Ms de Havilland to an Oscar in 1941, it seemed she wasn’t truly happy.
She seemed to have had troubles with not only her sister, but the men in her life, including actor Brian Aherne and Bill Dozier, daughter Deborah, and her adopted daughter Martita. It always felt she was blaming something else or someone for her choices.
Fontaine writes about her contentious working relationships with Alfred Hitchcock, Laurence Olivier and Vivien Leigh. And finally of how her mother Lilian had probably been responsible for the sibling rivalry she had with Ms de Havilland.
There are triumphs too: Fontaine was a licensed pilot, was one of the youngest Best Actress Oscar winners until Marlee Matlin (from 1941-1986!) and fun fact, in 1941, was nominated against sister Olivia de Havilland and de Havilland’s best friend Bette Davis for the Oscar, defeating both!
And her Oscar winning role in Suspicion is the only time a Hitchcock picture had a best actress win, and her film collaboration with him, Rebecca, would be the only picture Hitchcock would win for Best Picture. Fontaine starred in two Hitchcock classics back to back, she will probably be remembered most for Rebecca.
It’s a disjointed memoir from what I remember. Filled with bitterness and anger, no peace or accountability for her actions, even more annoying than Faye Dunaway’s or Joan Crawford’s memoirs.
December 12, 2025
What a deeply unlikeable person she must be - a very revealing autobiography.
March 16, 2011
Second time read...first read in 1998. I don't know why I wanted to reread this book, or why I gave it a higher rating the first time. She comes across as a very troubled, irritating, difficult, obnoxious person. Poor her...everyone is wrong but her...ALWAYS! To hear her tell it, she is abused by EVERYONE: parents, step-parents, sister, husbands, ex-husbands, lovers, children, friends, producers, directors, other actors. I mean gimme a break. And so much of what she says is so clearly made up or grossly exaggerated (Vivien Leigh's maid smelled so much like the cat's litter box that poor Joan couldn't gag down the breakfast she brought her? The Kennedys weren't sincere when they said they didn't have a bed to spare for her in Palm Beach when she sprung herself on them? I mean the family was huge and the house isn't that big, and...oh, I wonder if Rose maybe had issues with Joe asking Joan to replace Gloria Swanson?...according to Joan anyway. And Olivia's telling her to "Get up there!" to collect her Oscar was the same kind of vicious attack that her sister had always inflicted on her?)
Clearly this was her chance to get back at every single person who had ever been mean to her...ie. everyone...whether real or imagined...most especially Olivia De Havilland. Incidentally, I have it on good authority (mutual acquaintances) that their "feud" is not exactly as we've always been lead to believe. True, obviously, that Joan has a gigantic axe to grind. And reportedly Olivia is truly a nice person. But, to Joan's credit, she has helped support Olivia in their old age, as she is much more well-off. And when Olivia makes her annual visit to the US from France, it's Joan she stays with. I would be interested to read a book by either Joan or Olivia, written from the perspective of old age, as this was written when they were in their 60s (they are both now in their mid-90s) although in Joan's case it would surely just be more of the same.
Clearly this was her chance to get back at every single person who had ever been mean to her...ie. everyone...whether real or imagined...most especially Olivia De Havilland. Incidentally, I have it on good authority (mutual acquaintances) that their "feud" is not exactly as we've always been lead to believe. True, obviously, that Joan has a gigantic axe to grind. And reportedly Olivia is truly a nice person. But, to Joan's credit, she has helped support Olivia in their old age, as she is much more well-off. And when Olivia makes her annual visit to the US from France, it's Joan she stays with. I would be interested to read a book by either Joan or Olivia, written from the perspective of old age, as this was written when they were in their 60s (they are both now in their mid-90s) although in Joan's case it would surely just be more of the same.
September 27, 2012
http://hereiread.blogspot.com.au/2012...
Joan de Bouviour de Havilland, aka Joan Fontaine, is an Academy Award-winning actress from Hollywood's Golden Era. Today she's most remembered for her role as "I" de Winter in Alfred Hitchcock's Gothic masterpiece Rebecca (1940), opposite a very dashing Laurence Olivier, and for her ongoing feud with her sister, the also Oscar-winning Olivia de Havilland, who is best remembered for her performance as Melanie in Gone With the Wind. Joan Fontaine has always been one of my favourite Classic Hollywood stars - she's a delightful actress to watch.
As the title suggests, Joan Fontaine's story was never going to be a happy one. Part misery memoir, the early part of the book details her abusive and restrictive childhood. Born in Japan, her father abandoned her mother for the family's Japanese maid, forcing Joan, Olivia and their mother to start a new life in America. Her mother remarried a stern, controlling man, (Danny Fontaine) and Joan and Olivia's childhood was strict, rigid and unhappy. Both of the girls had left the household by the time they were 16. The book then tells Joan story as she moves back to Japan to live with her father for a year and then, after he propositions her (ewww!) her return to America, describing her many films, loves, husbands and events from then until the publication of the book in 1978.
This book is a wonderful read. Reading it felt like a Saturday afternoon on the couch watching a black-and-white movie with fabulous dresses, sparkling dialogue ahold d Hollywood glamour. Fontaine has a lovely confessional yet entertaining tone and her writing has great wit and perception. No Bed of Roses gives a clear picture of what it's like to be a very beautiful woman, with constant marriage proposals and propositions (from Howard Hughes and JFK's dad, to name a few!), men asking for your room key so they could come into your hotel room to clean your shoes while you were out (!!!) and being taken on extravagant holidays and dinners and shopping trips. The book is also interesting in that it it details how little control actors had in the studio system, where they were contracted to studios for seven-year periods and had really limited ability to choose what movies they starred in, how much they were paid, how often they worked or even which studio they worked at. (Incidentally, Joan's sister Olivia took Warner Brothers to court to end this restrictive practice and was instrumental in changing the labour laws, with a law named after her - the de Havilland law - which still has influence today.)
From a feminist perspective, this because is fascinating because it deals with a successful and intelligent woman's process of negotiation for independence in a world where the options available to women, both culturally and legally, were very limited. Fontaine earned more than her husbands (she had four) for most of her life. She was also a single parent and had to deal with the requirement to travel for her work but be a mother at the same time. She was also a determined woman who wasn't afraid or ashamed of her sexuality, determination and drive.
Despite its many pleasures, No Bed of Roses does have a few WTF moments - her decision to take a child home with her from a trip to Peru like a human souvenir and the effective abandonment of her two children when they reached their teens are bizarre in both their recounting and justification. There are far fewer mentions of her sister than I expected although we are left in absolutely no doubt that Joan believes all fault for their estrangement comes from Olivia. But despite those flaws, this in an engaging story of a headstrong, independent, beautiful woman with a ridiculously weak immune system. The saddest thing about the story is that Joan Fontaine really believes that no-one every really loved her enough, not even her own family.
Joan de Bouviour de Havilland, aka Joan Fontaine, is an Academy Award-winning actress from Hollywood's Golden Era. Today she's most remembered for her role as "I" de Winter in Alfred Hitchcock's Gothic masterpiece Rebecca (1940), opposite a very dashing Laurence Olivier, and for her ongoing feud with her sister, the also Oscar-winning Olivia de Havilland, who is best remembered for her performance as Melanie in Gone With the Wind. Joan Fontaine has always been one of my favourite Classic Hollywood stars - she's a delightful actress to watch.
As the title suggests, Joan Fontaine's story was never going to be a happy one. Part misery memoir, the early part of the book details her abusive and restrictive childhood. Born in Japan, her father abandoned her mother for the family's Japanese maid, forcing Joan, Olivia and their mother to start a new life in America. Her mother remarried a stern, controlling man, (Danny Fontaine) and Joan and Olivia's childhood was strict, rigid and unhappy. Both of the girls had left the household by the time they were 16. The book then tells Joan story as she moves back to Japan to live with her father for a year and then, after he propositions her (ewww!) her return to America, describing her many films, loves, husbands and events from then until the publication of the book in 1978.
This book is a wonderful read. Reading it felt like a Saturday afternoon on the couch watching a black-and-white movie with fabulous dresses, sparkling dialogue ahold d Hollywood glamour. Fontaine has a lovely confessional yet entertaining tone and her writing has great wit and perception. No Bed of Roses gives a clear picture of what it's like to be a very beautiful woman, with constant marriage proposals and propositions (from Howard Hughes and JFK's dad, to name a few!), men asking for your room key so they could come into your hotel room to clean your shoes while you were out (!!!) and being taken on extravagant holidays and dinners and shopping trips. The book is also interesting in that it it details how little control actors had in the studio system, where they were contracted to studios for seven-year periods and had really limited ability to choose what movies they starred in, how much they were paid, how often they worked or even which studio they worked at. (Incidentally, Joan's sister Olivia took Warner Brothers to court to end this restrictive practice and was instrumental in changing the labour laws, with a law named after her - the de Havilland law - which still has influence today.)
From a feminist perspective, this because is fascinating because it deals with a successful and intelligent woman's process of negotiation for independence in a world where the options available to women, both culturally and legally, were very limited. Fontaine earned more than her husbands (she had four) for most of her life. She was also a single parent and had to deal with the requirement to travel for her work but be a mother at the same time. She was also a determined woman who wasn't afraid or ashamed of her sexuality, determination and drive.
Despite its many pleasures, No Bed of Roses does have a few WTF moments - her decision to take a child home with her from a trip to Peru like a human souvenir and the effective abandonment of her two children when they reached their teens are bizarre in both their recounting and justification. There are far fewer mentions of her sister than I expected although we are left in absolutely no doubt that Joan believes all fault for their estrangement comes from Olivia. But despite those flaws, this in an engaging story of a headstrong, independent, beautiful woman with a ridiculously weak immune system. The saddest thing about the story is that Joan Fontaine really believes that no-one every really loved her enough, not even her own family.
January 7, 2018
I've always loved Joan Fontaine's roles in classic Hollywood films. Even though she hated Frenchman's Creek, it still remains one of my favorite films. Her performances in Rebecca and Suspicion were amazing.
I knew little of Fontaine's life, but after reading this book, I feel as though she never found peace. Her tumultuous upbringing, her fractious relationship with her sister, Olivia de Havilland, and her inability to find a man worthy of her all combined to keep her from having what she most wanted: unconditional love.
Her memoir is very well-written, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading about how the studio system worked in classic Hollywood, the jet-setting lifestyle of the rich and famous, the houses, the parties, etc.
What I really want, though? An autobiography from Olivia de Havilland that explains HER side of the feuding sisters story.
I knew little of Fontaine's life, but after reading this book, I feel as though she never found peace. Her tumultuous upbringing, her fractious relationship with her sister, Olivia de Havilland, and her inability to find a man worthy of her all combined to keep her from having what she most wanted: unconditional love.
Her memoir is very well-written, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading about how the studio system worked in classic Hollywood, the jet-setting lifestyle of the rich and famous, the houses, the parties, etc.
What I really want, though? An autobiography from Olivia de Havilland that explains HER side of the feuding sisters story.
April 15, 2014
Almost no detail about Fontaine's film work, which is a real pity, since she made some great films (Rebecca, Suspicion, Letter From an Unknown Woman).
Mostly glossy overview of her life--husbands, lovers, artist friends, her daughters and sister Olivia de Havilland. Wait for an in-depth biography.
Mostly glossy overview of her life--husbands, lovers, artist friends, her daughters and sister Olivia de Havilland. Wait for an in-depth biography.
June 19, 2018
One of those Hollywood Star Autobiographies that is alternately interesting (Fontaine dated Charles Addams! Adlai Stevenson! Was semi-stalked by Howard Hughes!) and dull (lotsa descriptions of her fab vacays and way too much about her imperious mother - Fontaine worshiped her even though good ol' Ma basically sounds like she was a real piece of work). Fontaine doesn't offer nearly enough specific deets on her film-making escapades and presents nothing at all on the craft of acting. Her terrible relationship with her sister, Olivia de Havilland, is brought up regularly, mostly for Fontaine to take pot-shots, and you start to wonder who's side you really want to take (I'll go with our author, though de Havilland is a really a quite wonderful actress whose work onscreen I have always enjoyed - check out her performances in The Snake Pit or Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte). All in all, however, this is a worthy glimpse into old-school Hollywood...and I'll have to re-watch Fontaine's handful of classics sometime soon: Hitchcock's Rebecca (1940) & Suspicion (1941), and George Cukor's 1939 over-the-top comedic bitch-fest, The Women.
November 4, 2011
As I live in Argentina and had no chance of getting this book here, a very good friend of mine sent it to me in the mail all the way from San Francisco, CA.
I am, of course, a great fan of Joan's work, in fact, it was her superb work in 'Rebecca' that drew me to watch Classic films and after learning some scraps of her life from here and there, the interesting (and feuding) relationship with her eldest sister, the too actress Olivia de Havilland, I felt the book would give me a more intimate insight into her personal and professional life, but, it's Joan's life according to Joan, so it's not very subjective, let's say. It's not malicious or resentful either, but a solid and sometimes too 'novelesque' writing style that of Joan's. I laughed and cried during some chapters, specially the ending where Joan makes a kind of open letter to her mother, who died a couple of years before she wrote her autobio. To sum up, a nice book and a must for a Classic Hollywood fan!
I am, of course, a great fan of Joan's work, in fact, it was her superb work in 'Rebecca' that drew me to watch Classic films and after learning some scraps of her life from here and there, the interesting (and feuding) relationship with her eldest sister, the too actress Olivia de Havilland, I felt the book would give me a more intimate insight into her personal and professional life, but, it's Joan's life according to Joan, so it's not very subjective, let's say. It's not malicious or resentful either, but a solid and sometimes too 'novelesque' writing style that of Joan's. I laughed and cried during some chapters, specially the ending where Joan makes a kind of open letter to her mother, who died a couple of years before she wrote her autobio. To sum up, a nice book and a must for a Classic Hollywood fan!
December 30, 2017
If you enjoy classic films and the people who made them, you will probably like this book. Joan Fontaine had a very full and exciting life. She went everywhere and knew many renowned and important people. Her most exciting experiences were probably outside movie making. What I didn't like about this book was the constant whining and the way she dealt with her very poor relationship with her sister Olivia de Havilland. She carped about her and took jabs at her throughout the book. It became tiresome. I think a chapter titled 'Olivia' in which she gets out all of her complaints would have been better. I have no idea who was at fault, probably both. I came to have sympathy for de Havilland just because Fontaine's method of complaining was so annoying. This is not the best autobiography of a 1940s and 1950s actress I've read.
January 14, 2010
Joan Fontaine is one of my favorite actresses so I really enjoyed learning more about her. I also liked her honest view of the studio systems during the thirties and forties as well as her relationships with her contemporaries.
August 7, 2018
Joan is a progressive thinker who's views on Hollywood's treatment of actors and apartheid stand up well today. . She is also pompous, snobby and difficult. The lack of attention she gave her two daughters growing up is shocking.
October 29, 2019
I blame her mother and her father but more of her mother. And Joan Fontaine herself has said in many occasions that her mother did not handle the two sisters well and always favored Olivia over her and expecting her to always yield for the benefit of Olivia. And she just spends her life trying to live up to Mother's expectation. Who in this day and age writes the word "mother" with a capital letter "M"? That just says loads, doesn't it?
Joan's behavior is the typical behavior of someone who has serious abandonment issues, growing up feeling never loved, never wanted and never needed by their parents, always feeling ignored and yet spending their whole lives trying to please the people that they feel should love them, first their parents, then their love/life partners, and then their children. And they spend their whole life never feeling secure, having all kinds of anxiety sometimes even to the point of paranoia. Whenever somebody they THINK did not do enough of what they expected, that person is automatically dismissed as "not caring about them", "not loving them", and etc., it might be an innocent gesture or innocent mistake but unless that formerly trusted person spends all the time in the world explaining him/herself to them, that's the feeling that they get: they don't care about them aka they are being abandoned again, not wanted anymore. Like in the book where Olivia forgot to pack her veil when she was helping to pack off her bridal stuff from Joan's hotel room. It might very well be an innocent mistake on Olivia's part but to Joan, I am sure for the rest of her life until the moment she dies, she believed that Olivia did that on purpose out of spite no matter how much Olivia explains to her. Dealing with people with abandonment issues is like walking on thin cracking ice, you never know when and where and/or what you did or did not do and/or whatever you said or did not say are going to set them off because their psyche is just so fragile, thinner than a piece of paper because of the love and recognition that they never received or expected to receive from the ones that they seek love and acknowledgment from. And this is probably why Joan is always coming across as the victim in all situations in the book because that is all she could feel that nobody cares about her.
And not only that, they have non-existent self-esteem let alone self-confidence. They never see themselves as beautiful, or smart or strong. I mean to me, I always thought Joan Fontaine is the prettier and more elegant of the two. Just my personal feeling and I am sure I am not the only one who sees that and yet Joan throughout her entire life, never saw that and constantly thinks she was overshadowed by Olivia. That's very typical of somebody who has abandonment issues. Because they have non-existent self-confidence, they always see themselves as weak and always needing protection because of the lack of acknowledgment that they have received from their trusted ones. To compensate for their fragile and vulnerable self, the people that they seek companionship with are always the strong, confident and protective type, like in the book Katherine Hepburn, Miss Robson, Brian Aherne (in terms of having money and a house at the time of marriage). But they can be fiercely loyal to whoever they feel are the strong and protective type who they think they can trust to protect them and care about them. And life can be great with them until they feel that the companions that they think are strong and are protecting them can't be trusted either and/or don't care about them either then all of the accusations, blame, resentments, bitterness all came pouring out and the relationship whatever that is becomes forever estranged. It is extremely difficult to form any long-lasting, fruitful, close, mature relationship with people with abandonment issues because people with andonement issues live forever in the childhood stage where they are seeking attention from their parents, waiting for that hug that never came... so consequently people around them eventually realize that the best way to deal with them is to keep them at a distance, treat them with politeness and respect but never establish anything substantial or close with them. This is probably why Joan Fontaine has had 4 marriages and all of them ended up with divorces and all of the family relationship with her are all estranged. It is quite sad. When you've ever encountered somebody who has abandonement issues like Joan Fontaine, you actually feel quite bad for them and many times all you want to do is hug them and to take their pain away to make them feel better instead of always living in endless self-loathing, self-pity and paranoia. You always feel that you can; all you have to do is somehow make them see the other side of the story, to see things for what they are then they will come out of their dark view of the world and to make them see everything in the light and themselves for who they are but you can't. You never can because ironically, people with abandonment issues are actually quite strong.
They are always some of the strongest, the most independent and most resilient people that you will ever meet. Because (they feel) there is nobody ever there to support them and help them, they learn from a very early age how to adapt to survive, how to negotiate to get they want whatever they are not getting from their parents or loved ones and most important of all, how to persevere when the going gets tough so as a result, they can be quite stubborn and are dead set in their own view of things and would never change thus unfortunately will never come out their dark shell. But fear not, they do quite well for themselves usually as evidenced by the illustrious, long and successful career that Joan Fontaine had both on-screen and in life. Joan Fontaine was a licensed pilot; it's a rare accomplishment even among women today.
Everything has a way of balancing itself out. Whatever they (think) didn't get from their parents and family, they get it all paid back to them ten even hundred-fold back in their success, wealth and everything. Really happy for Joan for all the successes that she had. She had worked very hard for it and certainly earned it. It's always a great joy to watch her on-screen. I just wished that she could realize that not everybody was as bad as she thought especially the ones close to her and aside from some really callous people that truly failed her, people really cared about her even though they might not have expressed it as well as they should.
Joan's behavior is the typical behavior of someone who has serious abandonment issues, growing up feeling never loved, never wanted and never needed by their parents, always feeling ignored and yet spending their whole lives trying to please the people that they feel should love them, first their parents, then their love/life partners, and then their children. And they spend their whole life never feeling secure, having all kinds of anxiety sometimes even to the point of paranoia. Whenever somebody they THINK did not do enough of what they expected, that person is automatically dismissed as "not caring about them", "not loving them", and etc., it might be an innocent gesture or innocent mistake but unless that formerly trusted person spends all the time in the world explaining him/herself to them, that's the feeling that they get: they don't care about them aka they are being abandoned again, not wanted anymore. Like in the book where Olivia forgot to pack her veil when she was helping to pack off her bridal stuff from Joan's hotel room. It might very well be an innocent mistake on Olivia's part but to Joan, I am sure for the rest of her life until the moment she dies, she believed that Olivia did that on purpose out of spite no matter how much Olivia explains to her. Dealing with people with abandonment issues is like walking on thin cracking ice, you never know when and where and/or what you did or did not do and/or whatever you said or did not say are going to set them off because their psyche is just so fragile, thinner than a piece of paper because of the love and recognition that they never received or expected to receive from the ones that they seek love and acknowledgment from. And this is probably why Joan is always coming across as the victim in all situations in the book because that is all she could feel that nobody cares about her.
And not only that, they have non-existent self-esteem let alone self-confidence. They never see themselves as beautiful, or smart or strong. I mean to me, I always thought Joan Fontaine is the prettier and more elegant of the two. Just my personal feeling and I am sure I am not the only one who sees that and yet Joan throughout her entire life, never saw that and constantly thinks she was overshadowed by Olivia. That's very typical of somebody who has abandonment issues. Because they have non-existent self-confidence, they always see themselves as weak and always needing protection because of the lack of acknowledgment that they have received from their trusted ones. To compensate for their fragile and vulnerable self, the people that they seek companionship with are always the strong, confident and protective type, like in the book Katherine Hepburn, Miss Robson, Brian Aherne (in terms of having money and a house at the time of marriage). But they can be fiercely loyal to whoever they feel are the strong and protective type who they think they can trust to protect them and care about them. And life can be great with them until they feel that the companions that they think are strong and are protecting them can't be trusted either and/or don't care about them either then all of the accusations, blame, resentments, bitterness all came pouring out and the relationship whatever that is becomes forever estranged. It is extremely difficult to form any long-lasting, fruitful, close, mature relationship with people with abandonment issues because people with andonement issues live forever in the childhood stage where they are seeking attention from their parents, waiting for that hug that never came... so consequently people around them eventually realize that the best way to deal with them is to keep them at a distance, treat them with politeness and respect but never establish anything substantial or close with them. This is probably why Joan Fontaine has had 4 marriages and all of them ended up with divorces and all of the family relationship with her are all estranged. It is quite sad. When you've ever encountered somebody who has abandonement issues like Joan Fontaine, you actually feel quite bad for them and many times all you want to do is hug them and to take their pain away to make them feel better instead of always living in endless self-loathing, self-pity and paranoia. You always feel that you can; all you have to do is somehow make them see the other side of the story, to see things for what they are then they will come out of their dark view of the world and to make them see everything in the light and themselves for who they are but you can't. You never can because ironically, people with abandonment issues are actually quite strong.
They are always some of the strongest, the most independent and most resilient people that you will ever meet. Because (they feel) there is nobody ever there to support them and help them, they learn from a very early age how to adapt to survive, how to negotiate to get they want whatever they are not getting from their parents or loved ones and most important of all, how to persevere when the going gets tough so as a result, they can be quite stubborn and are dead set in their own view of things and would never change thus unfortunately will never come out their dark shell. But fear not, they do quite well for themselves usually as evidenced by the illustrious, long and successful career that Joan Fontaine had both on-screen and in life. Joan Fontaine was a licensed pilot; it's a rare accomplishment even among women today.
Everything has a way of balancing itself out. Whatever they (think) didn't get from their parents and family, they get it all paid back to them ten even hundred-fold back in their success, wealth and everything. Really happy for Joan for all the successes that she had. She had worked very hard for it and certainly earned it. It's always a great joy to watch her on-screen. I just wished that she could realize that not everybody was as bad as she thought especially the ones close to her and aside from some really callous people that truly failed her, people really cared about her even though they might not have expressed it as well as they should.
February 28, 2017
So, I wanted to understand - how does a woman acknowledge sexual abuse from her stepfather, then take his last name a her stage name? What better way to untangle that, than from herself. Well, the name was first one that popped into her head when a fortune teller offer "think of a name ending in 'e'" when she went looking for sage advice. OK...
Drill-sergeant stepfather "Danny" Fontaine's abuse was only recalled years later in a rare period of speaking terms with sister Olivia de Havilland: "The washcloth would tarry too long in intimate places". OK...
Mother, to whom the book is dedicated, snaps "You're nothing but a whore" when Joan lets a young man take innocently her hand while in the audience during a Beethoven trio. She hovers like a ghost.
The set of Rebecca, crude Laurence Olivier, serial marriages to Brian Aherne, etc., but not even a dalliance with Howard Hughes who she got Olivia to walk away from. Dalliances with Conrad Nagel (who "surprised" her out of her virginity) and including Adlai Stevenson, Prince Aly Khan, and cartoonist Charles Addams. In the end, the longest chapter of greatest intimacy is the epilogue - right after mom's funeral - a poignant, sad letter to the departed "Mater".
Drill-sergeant stepfather "Danny" Fontaine's abuse was only recalled years later in a rare period of speaking terms with sister Olivia de Havilland: "The washcloth would tarry too long in intimate places". OK...
Mother, to whom the book is dedicated, snaps "You're nothing but a whore" when Joan lets a young man take innocently her hand while in the audience during a Beethoven trio. She hovers like a ghost.
The set of Rebecca, crude Laurence Olivier, serial marriages to Brian Aherne, etc., but not even a dalliance with Howard Hughes who she got Olivia to walk away from. Dalliances with Conrad Nagel (who "surprised" her out of her virginity) and including Adlai Stevenson, Prince Aly Khan, and cartoonist Charles Addams. In the end, the longest chapter of greatest intimacy is the epilogue - right after mom's funeral - a poignant, sad letter to the departed "Mater".
May 25, 2013
The book I read to research this post was No Bed Of Roses by Joan Fontaine which is an excellent book which I bought from Amazon. I got this book from the library and read it a long time ago but it was a book I really enjoyed so I thought I'd read it again and do a review on it. Joan was a very famous actress in the 40's & was the 1st actress to be nominated 3 years in a row for Best Actress at the Oscars. Her big break came with the film Rebecca which was Alfred Hitchcock's 1st American film & she gave arguably her best performance. It was another Hitchcock film called Suspicion that she won the Oscar for Best Actress for but as often happens a lot of people probably regretted not giving her the Oscar the previous year. Funnily enough it was around the time of being offered the part in Rebecca that she was getting married & wasn't too keen on continuing acting but thought it was a great opportunity. She never did find her partner in life although she married and divorced several times. She had a strained relationship with her sister Olivia de Havilland who also was a famous actress. In those days studios typically put actors & actresses on a contract & if they refused a part could add time onto the contract which was effectively like slavery. Olivia rather controversially took the studios to court in what was called The de Havilland Decision. She won her case but despite winning the Oscar for Best Actress hardly made any more Hollywood films afterwards. Joan rather famously had a relationship with Howard Hughes the eccentric billionaire. He was obsessed with catching germs among other things but was a great influence in the aviation industry. It is a really interesting book about the golden age in Hollywood & I think she has been quite honest about it. I really enjoyed reading this.
February 5, 2015
This was a fairly good autobiography by Academy Award-winning actress Joan Fontaine, who won the Best Actress Academy Award in 1941 for her role in Alfred Hitchcock's "Suspicion". One of the other nominees that year was Joan's sister, Olivia DeHavilland. Olivia would go on to win two Academy Awards later in the 1940s.
It was widely known in Hollywood that Joan and Olivia were not close at all; in fact they often went for years without contacting each other. Joan discusses her many marriages (she seems to have rushed into most of them just a few days after meeting each man, with predictable results); her film career, and her unusual family dynamics.
I'm giving it only three stars because it was hard to relate to Ms. Fontaine as a likeable person. So maybe Olivia had some reasons why they weren't close.
**#14 of 100 books I have pledged to read and review in 2015**
It was widely known in Hollywood that Joan and Olivia were not close at all; in fact they often went for years without contacting each other. Joan discusses her many marriages (she seems to have rushed into most of them just a few days after meeting each man, with predictable results); her film career, and her unusual family dynamics.
I'm giving it only three stars because it was hard to relate to Ms. Fontaine as a likeable person. So maybe Olivia had some reasons why they weren't close.
**#14 of 100 books I have pledged to read and review in 2015**
June 6, 2013
Fontaine's memoirs are juicy and quite revealing of her character. She transitioned well into a "grand dame" later in life, and some of her opinions are very over-the-top, yet forgivable, because she was a phenomenal actress. I wanted more about her strained relationship with sister Olivia de Havilland, but I suppose we'll have to wait until de Havilland releases her own memoir to complete the story. It's a shame that the two sisters haven't spoken to each other since the 1970s. Now, both in their 90s, and two of the last remaining legends of the golden age of Hollywood, it would be great if they could both make peace with each other and come to a common understanding.
books-with-go-references
September 16, 2010Walter de Havilland, father of Joan Fontaine [and of Olivia de Havilland] was an avid go player and author of one of the earliest, and scarcest, books on the game in English. This autobiography by Ms. Fontaine contains a picture of Walter playing go between pages 72 and 73 [the picture is labelled "Father's second favorite game"]. On p. 17: "Father felt that the proper life of an Englishman in Japan was to spend his leisure hours at his chess and go clubs. (He wrote a book on the intricate Oriental game: The A.B.C.'s of Go)." Another brief reference on p. 55.
July 24, 2018
I was just dying to get my hands on No Bed of Roses, Joan Fontaine’s autobiography. I loved her as the highly expressive “second Mrs. de Winter” in Alfred Hitchcock’s Rebecca, and she was lovely in Suspicion, too. The book has several pages of old photos.
Fontaine opens No Bed of Roses with an introduction in which she explains why she wrote her autobiography. She claims many people reported on her life and career inaccurately in the media and that “someone had to set the record straight.” Joan Fontaine was born Joan de Beauvoir de Havilland on October 22, 1917. She changed her name to Fontaine, which was her step-father’s last name, because her sister Olivia became a famous actress first and Hollywood couldn’t have two de Havillands. Olivia and Joan were born 15 months apart, and Joan suggests theirs was a fierce rivalry. Of course, Joan felt that she was the victim throughout. When describing their differences, Fontaine refers to herself in the 3rd person. For example, “Obedient Joan now walks in a permanent ballet fifth position, while defiant Olivia’s toes point straight ahead.”
Throughout her life, Fontaine was married four times and had been engaged many more times. She basically had a 5th husband but didn’t put it on paper. Many of these marriages began months after initially meeting, and I wondered why. Then, I realized Fontaine was criticized in the media or was threatened with losing custody of her daughter if she had a man in her house who wasn’t her husband. After golfing, Fontaine was asked “What’s your handicap?” to which she responded “Men.”
Fontaine had a worrisome childhood. Her step-father sent her to school in handcuffs because she wouldn’t stop biting her nails. The same man washed her too intimately when Fontaine’s mother was absent for all of 1924. When she was twenty, she became acquainted with a much older actor on whom she’d had a crush as a girl. Fontaine’s mother pushed the relationship, letting Joan travel with him, though they stayed in separate rooms. One night, she claims he “threw back my bedcovers, and before I could protest, the dire deed was done. One might say I was surprised out of my virginity.”
As sister Olivia’s fame rose, Joan Fontaine was told to serve dinner to Olivia’s guests and then stay in her room. Both sisters were born in Japan, and when Joan is sent to her father, who still lived there, she claims she was ignored there too. Yet, her argument that her Japanese step-mother was terrible is far from convincing. It’s still the fact that a British family had children in Japan and the mother relocated to California while the father stayed in Japan that is difficult. These such moments touched my heart and gave me an idea of why Fontaine seems to stumble through adulthood.
I was largely disappointed by No Bed of Roses. Fontaine seems removed from reality. When she was pregnant with her daughter, Fontaine and her husband chose to remodel to create a nursery. Therefore, her husband sent her to live in a hotel suite for a few months. Fontaine complains that her mother had traveled away, her sister was with her husband, and Fontaine’s husband was too busy with business meetings. Thus, she was left “alone to cope with room service.” Imagine the most challenging part of your pregnancy is calling and opening the door for room service.
Near the end of the memoir, Fontaine has a recurring illness that prevents her from working. Meanwhile, she fights to win custody of her daughter in court, which leads to her running low on money. On the next page, Fontaine has landed a role in a play, been paid, and bought her latest husband a Thunderbird for Christmas. She’s displeased that he buys her a frying pan. Maybe he was more money conscious, Joan? The autobiography is sprinkled with such frustrating moments that prevent me from sympathizing with Fontaine when things are challenging.
However, the biggest flaw of No Bed of Roses is the name dropping, much of which left this reader skimming. We’re talking old actors. Fontaine was born in 1917, and most of her friends and co-workers were her age or older, so not really people I know. Oddly, there is little discussion of what it was like working with certain directors or actors. My beloved Rebecca is a four-page chapter! And in that chapter, Fontaine claims that Laurence Olivier wanted his fiance to play the second Mrs. de Winter, so he was a pill. Then, because the other actors — including Gladys Cooper, Judith Anderson, Nigel Bruce, and George Saunders — were older, they would talk about the “good old days” and leave out the twenty-one year old Joan. Mainly, in the “Rebecca” chapter, she complained about her co-stars and then listed all the non-British people in Hollywood who were cliquey with the British Hollywood people. The movie Suspicion, for which Fontaine earned an Academy Award, doesn’t even get a chapter.
Joan Fontaine presents herself as a nervous woman who needs validation and wants everyone to love her, and the result is more of a phone book of Hollywood’s elite. Most unprofessionally, Fontaine complains about people by name, such as when she said Laurence Olivier’s fiance never cleaned her litter boxes, so the house stank. Fortunately, I was able to separate Joan Fontaine from the second Mrs. de Winter and shall keep my happy memories of the film and leave Fontaine’s personality in the pages of this book — which I’m about to donate.
This review was originally published at Grab the Lapels.
Fontaine opens No Bed of Roses with an introduction in which she explains why she wrote her autobiography. She claims many people reported on her life and career inaccurately in the media and that “someone had to set the record straight.” Joan Fontaine was born Joan de Beauvoir de Havilland on October 22, 1917. She changed her name to Fontaine, which was her step-father’s last name, because her sister Olivia became a famous actress first and Hollywood couldn’t have two de Havillands. Olivia and Joan were born 15 months apart, and Joan suggests theirs was a fierce rivalry. Of course, Joan felt that she was the victim throughout. When describing their differences, Fontaine refers to herself in the 3rd person. For example, “Obedient Joan now walks in a permanent ballet fifth position, while defiant Olivia’s toes point straight ahead.”
Throughout her life, Fontaine was married four times and had been engaged many more times. She basically had a 5th husband but didn’t put it on paper. Many of these marriages began months after initially meeting, and I wondered why. Then, I realized Fontaine was criticized in the media or was threatened with losing custody of her daughter if she had a man in her house who wasn’t her husband. After golfing, Fontaine was asked “What’s your handicap?” to which she responded “Men.”
Fontaine had a worrisome childhood. Her step-father sent her to school in handcuffs because she wouldn’t stop biting her nails. The same man washed her too intimately when Fontaine’s mother was absent for all of 1924. When she was twenty, she became acquainted with a much older actor on whom she’d had a crush as a girl. Fontaine’s mother pushed the relationship, letting Joan travel with him, though they stayed in separate rooms. One night, she claims he “threw back my bedcovers, and before I could protest, the dire deed was done. One might say I was surprised out of my virginity.”
As sister Olivia’s fame rose, Joan Fontaine was told to serve dinner to Olivia’s guests and then stay in her room. Both sisters were born in Japan, and when Joan is sent to her father, who still lived there, she claims she was ignored there too. Yet, her argument that her Japanese step-mother was terrible is far from convincing. It’s still the fact that a British family had children in Japan and the mother relocated to California while the father stayed in Japan that is difficult. These such moments touched my heart and gave me an idea of why Fontaine seems to stumble through adulthood.
I was largely disappointed by No Bed of Roses. Fontaine seems removed from reality. When she was pregnant with her daughter, Fontaine and her husband chose to remodel to create a nursery. Therefore, her husband sent her to live in a hotel suite for a few months. Fontaine complains that her mother had traveled away, her sister was with her husband, and Fontaine’s husband was too busy with business meetings. Thus, she was left “alone to cope with room service.” Imagine the most challenging part of your pregnancy is calling and opening the door for room service.
Near the end of the memoir, Fontaine has a recurring illness that prevents her from working. Meanwhile, she fights to win custody of her daughter in court, which leads to her running low on money. On the next page, Fontaine has landed a role in a play, been paid, and bought her latest husband a Thunderbird for Christmas. She’s displeased that he buys her a frying pan. Maybe he was more money conscious, Joan? The autobiography is sprinkled with such frustrating moments that prevent me from sympathizing with Fontaine when things are challenging.
However, the biggest flaw of No Bed of Roses is the name dropping, much of which left this reader skimming. We’re talking old actors. Fontaine was born in 1917, and most of her friends and co-workers were her age or older, so not really people I know. Oddly, there is little discussion of what it was like working with certain directors or actors. My beloved Rebecca is a four-page chapter! And in that chapter, Fontaine claims that Laurence Olivier wanted his fiance to play the second Mrs. de Winter, so he was a pill. Then, because the other actors — including Gladys Cooper, Judith Anderson, Nigel Bruce, and George Saunders — were older, they would talk about the “good old days” and leave out the twenty-one year old Joan. Mainly, in the “Rebecca” chapter, she complained about her co-stars and then listed all the non-British people in Hollywood who were cliquey with the British Hollywood people. The movie Suspicion, for which Fontaine earned an Academy Award, doesn’t even get a chapter.
Joan Fontaine presents herself as a nervous woman who needs validation and wants everyone to love her, and the result is more of a phone book of Hollywood’s elite. Most unprofessionally, Fontaine complains about people by name, such as when she said Laurence Olivier’s fiance never cleaned her litter boxes, so the house stank. Fortunately, I was able to separate Joan Fontaine from the second Mrs. de Winter and shall keep my happy memories of the film and leave Fontaine’s personality in the pages of this book — which I’m about to donate.
This review was originally published at Grab the Lapels.
August 3, 2015
It was easy to read ...but a bit dry. Her personal life seemed more interesting than her career to me :/ Her relationship to Olivia ...She played the victim. Maybe she was..I'd have to read Olivias memoir..If there is one to decide. alot of reviews on here blast her as hard to live with...I didn't get that. She was married and in long term romances about 5 times...but infidelity would make me leave too.
October 22, 2015
Just from the title, you can tell that Joan indulges in some self-pity. There are shocking disclosures and at the very least it keeps you entertained. You get the sense that Joan must have been one of those people who says hurtful things to others oblivious to her unkindness -- a bit insensitive or socially obtuse. But then, she had it kind of rough as a kid. Poor sister Olivia comes off as odd, cold, and jealous.
September 1, 2015
Disapointing read indeed. Lots of name dropping but no real stories to tell despite the lengthy list of stars she has worked with. A little dig in the text at David Nivens hollywood books which are among the best books ever regarding Hollywood and its golden age.
An interesting read but nothing more. .
An interesting read but nothing more. .
June 14, 2013
First read in 1980 - just read it again in anticipation of the long promised autobiography of sister Olivia (will it ever be published?). Both are still around to modify this 35 year old tale - I hope they both do so! It is quite a saga.
May 19, 2015
An excellent autobiography depicting Joan Fontaine's life and career in her view and opinions.
April 29, 2009
Movie-wise, I liked more of Olivia de Havilland's films than Joan Fontaine's... this book helped to widen that gap a lot more and made me definitely team Olivia.
September 13, 2010
I found it honest and very funny.
December 12, 2014
Loved it.
February 20, 2013
come on, it's joanie
December 28, 2015
I would put 6 stars if I could ♥
Read
November 13, 2016Kind of a sad book. Another Hollywood star who jumped from man to man. Loved her movies but too bad she couldn't stand on her own.
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