What I Was

by Meg Rosoff

I was at boarding school in East Anglia, my third. I didn't want to be there. But if there had been no school, there would be no Finn. He lived in a hut on the coast. He was like the hut, in fact - it took a while for both of them to warm up. But that is all I longed for. Finn, warming to me. A nod. Half a smile. Asking me to help on the boat. Not asking me to leave. I didn't want it to end. Now I am waiting for the end, and looking back to the beginning. Haunting, intense and with a surprising twist in the tale - this is unlike anything you will have read before .

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Historical Fiction, Coming Of Age, LGBT, Historical, Boarding School

199 pages, Paperback

First published August 30, 2007

About the author

Meg Rosoff was born in Boston and had three or four careers in publishing and advertising before she moved to London in 1989, where she lives now with her husband and daughter. Formerly a Young Adult author, Meg has earned numerous prizes including the highest American and British honors for YA fiction: the Michael L. Printz Award and the Carnegie Medal.

Reviews

[E M · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think I'm losing faith in Meg Rosoff.

I LOVED How I Live Now, so much so that I even consider it one of my favourite books of all time, and when Just In Case came out, I snapped it up immediately. It too was a bit of a let down. This novel was well-written and immersive but ultimately I didn't come away from the book feeling like I'd been changed or learned something significant having read it. As a matter of fact, it didn't even feel like Rosoff was trying to tell me anything at all.

I figured out the "big twist" about mid-way through the book and it made the entire story a lot less stimulating, not only because it eliminated the element of surprise, but because it was just an unenjoyable twist for me. Additionally, Rosoff meandered through the first part of the novel, with the last part feeling skimmed over and rushed. There was no satisfying denouement, no appropriate ending for the characters you might feel connected to. At just over 200 pages, this book could've done with a few extra chapters or a little more discription.

I can't fault Rosoff's writing style-- it pulled me into the story as much as it ever has-- but I missed that slight hint of fantasy the two previous novels contained and I feel like I am maybe a How I Live Now fan, rather than a Meg Rosoff fan, as I'd previously thought.

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

I miss books like this. It’s been so long since I’ve come across one. What I Was found me today at Chapters. I can’t even tell you where. Was it on a table (20 books to read before you’re 20? Maybe New & Hot Teen Fiction?), or maybe just there on the shelf. I have no idea now. But anyway. I picked it up and read the back and got chills up my spine. This was a book I had to read, even if it tore my guts out (which it did, mostly).

What I Was is the story of H. 16 years old and shuffled off to his 3rd boarding school in the middle of nowhere, England. Here at St. Oswald’s, H goes through the now familiar motions of his “sterling history of mediocre achievement”.

And then he meets Finn, an “almost unbearably beautiful boy” who lives by himself in a hut on the cliffs of the seaside.

What follows is the slow deepening of their regard for each other. Rosoff drags it out painfully slowly for a book that’s just over 200 pages. Like H searching Finn’s facial expressions, we are left searching the pages for any hint of how the hermit boy feels for his unasked for friend. Like all the best characters (in my humble opinion), Finn is minimal, but takes up so much space. And while it’s the mystery of Finn that kept me reading, it’s my complete and utter connection with H that made the story for me.

It takes some magical story telling for a 30 year old woman to see herself so thoroughly in the narration of a now 100 year old man remembering his 16 year old self. With every time H goes to see Finn, crossing the treacherous water, often soaking himself through with water and humiliation I could sense his feelings growing, while at the same time retaining an innocence that would not have existed if the two main characters were even two years older.

I read What I Was in about 2 hours, turning page after page with an urgency I haven’t experienced while reading in quite some time. It seemed only fitting that while reading this Young Adult novel I felt 15 again, if only briefly. Only now, instead of wolfing down my food at supper to get back to the book, I was steadfastly ignoring the laundry in the dryer. The wrinkles would be worth it.

Nothing is perfect however, and I admit to feeling slightly cheated and annoyed at the resolution. While clever in it’s own way, it felt a bit too safe. H is metaphorically pulled out of the water one more time, no deeper self examination is needed. How convenient.

I’ll give Rosoff a bit of a break on this, though. While the ending felt too safe, I did not feel that way about the rest of the book, which is what’s important I think.

“What I Was” was a surprise, in the best way possible.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't overly enamoured with this book. It is a 1/2 stars for plot. But the beautiful writing and the ending made it into a 3. I wouldn't really recommend this book as I didn't like the plot, pace setting or the characters. There was nothing keeping me turning the pages and I skim read alot of it.

[Tijana]

"Ono što sam bio" je žanrovski nekako rasplinut, na granici između romana za adolescente i romana o njima, i okej, ta distinkcija je i inače često nejasna, ali ovde je sve dodatno zamućeno činjenicom da se roman dosta koleba i u pogledu zapleta i likova.
Za bezuslovnu preporuku je samo atmosfera - bogato sumorna i večno oblačna, plus mladalačko/starački mrzovoljni i cinični pripovedač koji opisuje užase internatskog života u Engleskoj šezdesetih.
Sve ostalo je nekako... kilavo. I likovi koji su, osim samog pripovedača, svedeni na jednu do dve karakterne crte (on ima, recimo, tri), i neiskorišćeni momenti poput činjenice da nam se roman pripoveda iz naše bliske budućnosti ili dugotrajnog prikrivanja imena pripovedača koje ostane bez jasne poente, i rupe u razvoju događaja (stvarno je prikazano kao previše lako da neko maloletan samostalno i komotno sebi organizuje život, a bogami i kad neko kaže "a onda sam tako živeo još osamdeset godina" to ne pomaže uverljivosti)... i, naravno, Fin i Finova priča.
Da sad ne ulazim u spojlere, krajnje sam nezadovoljna oblikovanjem Finovog lika, on je tu da bude tajanstven! i primamljiv! i da se pripovedač pašti ne bi li mu nekako ugodio! I sve do kraja mi o njemu kao osobi, o njegovim mislima, željama, motivacijama, ne samo da ne saznajemo ništa, ne samo da nema ni nekih nagoveštaja iz kojih bi moglo da se izvuče išta osim "Fin je beskrajno lep kad tajanstveno gleda u daljinu" nego se, iskreno, ni ne zainteresujemo preterano. A da samo prepričam ključne momente radnje (ali bože, koliko bi se time upropastio i poslednji trag razloga da ovo neko uzme da čita) delovao bi kao potencijalno najinteresantniji lik u bilo kojih nasumično odabranih desetak knjiga za omladinu. I eto. Vrlo lepo i novembarski atmosferično napisano, ali osim toga i neinteresantno kao novembarsko popodne.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was quite boring. Reading this book felt like a waste of my time, I'm just glad that it was only 200 pages so it didn't waste too much of my time. There was no message and this book didn't impact me at all. There wasn't even a good story. There was no real plot and that bugged me.

The characters were lacking. Apart from the two main characters, H & Finn, no other character was really brought to life. They were vague one-dimensional fillers to H's life. H himself was okay. I didn't feel very attached to him and he wasn't really likeable. Finn was a mysterious character but so mysterious that Finn didn't appeal to me. What was so good about Finn? I don't know and frankly, I don't care. This wasn't a story about love and I didn't really see much of a friendship either.

The pace was painfully slow right up until the twist. The twist was awful. After the twist was revealed, the story sped up much too fast. Throughout the book, Meg Rosoff spent countless pages explaining the landscape and things I didn't care about but then at the end when it mattered, she explained nothing. Everything was very vague and honestly, I thought it was stupid.

I don't like Meg Rosoff's writing style. It's just not a style that appeals to me. I have read How I Live Now and I didn't like her writing in that either (the story was slightly better though). I save one star ratings for absolutely terrible books and while I didn't like this book, I didn't hate it.

I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone. I also won't be in a rush to read any other books by Meg Rosoff.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meg Rosoff's tale of friendship and longing takes place in 1962 East Anglia, where our narrator has been sent to St. Oswald's, a boys' boarding school of "long history and low standards," after being sent down from two other schools, having failed to show proper enthusiasm for sport and Empire. The food is wretched, the dormitories freezing, and soon this particular sixteen-year-old finds himself drawn to a simple hut on the coast, where a boy his age called Finn lives alone, what we would today call "off the grid," fending for himself again sea and storm. Fascinated by Finn's fierce independence and simple lifestyle, the schoolboy begins to stray from St. Oswald's, risking dangerous tides to steal hours of kayaking, crab fishing, and silent communion. The camaraderie that develops is close and quiet, love without eroticism, set against a backdrop of cliff and ocean.

Rosoff writes lyrically of a landscape haunted by the North Sea, slowly claiming Finn's beach; the boys' trip to a drowned medieval city and a denouement set in a climate-changed, drowning England link together centuries of coastal England's uneasy relationship with the water surrounding it. The ocean serves as a powerful metaphor for the submerging of self that comes with first love: the St. Oswald's boy worships Finn, pure and simple, wants to become him. When Finn falls dangerously ill, the roles are suddenly reversed, and the novel tumbles to a surprising conclusion.

[edit: Yeah, Finn turns out to be A GIRL. Then the novel's pace speeds up exponentially. It's a terrible, disappointing ending that throws over completely the awakening-homoerotic undertones and slow, thoughtful progress of the rest of the book.)

[Meaghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite Meg Rosoff book so far. How I Live Now was good, but I was stunned by this one. From the dust jacket annotation I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to buy the plot, but once I started the story I found it perfectly plausible. The twist ending is something I hadn't seen coming, which is unusual -- usually I guess surprise endings ahead of time, which is kind of a drag. Best of all is the atmosphere of the story. From Rosoff's descriptions I could practically see the North Sea fog and feel the cold of the icy waters and the unheated school.

This book won't appeal to people who need a lot of action in their stories -- it's more your typical English novel, moving sedately along. But if you go for that sort of thing -- and I do, sometimes -- I HIGHLY recommend this.

[Lizzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this when it first came out and absolutely loved it, so when I had the opportunity to re-read it I took it for two reasons: 1. to see if I still loved it and 2. to see if I could figure this book out.

Number 1. is still correct. I absolutely loved this book, reading it for I think the third or fourth time? But about six years since I last read it. The characters, the writing, the setting, I love all of it. Once again, I was completely sucked in, with no choice but to let Meg Rosoff take me on this story with her.

As for number 2... I still can't quite work out what this book is really about. I mean, what is the point that Rosoff is trying to make? Is it that a person is more than their gender? Is it that there are an infinite number of ways to love someone, but that we tend to put them all in neat little boxes? Is it that we all long for an escape from the lives we lead? Is it that we long to see ourselves through other people's eyes? Or was this going to be an LGBT+ book before she chickened out at the last minute?

I had hoped that re-reading this would give me the answers, and it didn't; if anything, I am just asking even more questions. But I still absolutely, 100% love this book. No doubt about it.

[Ruby Granger · Rating 5 out of 5]

A charming exploration of gender and sexuality which is made particularly striking in the fact that it is set in the 1960s. Additionally, there is an emphasis on 'simple living' and the recognition that material luxuries are not essential for living a happy and fulfilled life.
It is set in a Boy's Boarding School so there are elements of bullying. The protagonist is sixteen but he seems a lot younger when you're reading.
It is definitely a quick read but you will not regret it.

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know what to rate this book... I don't know what to make of it. I would prefer to give it a 3.5 but since halvsies aren't allowed I rounded up. This book immediately drew me in and I could not put it down (would spellbinding be too strong?). I was absolutey captivated, and Rosoff threw in a unexpected twist totally throwing my predictions out the window (and I was happy to do so). But I don't know if I had closure... I just don't know.

[Kaethe]

Dear Meg, next time you find yourself thinking "There are not too few books for marginalised young people," take a moment and think again. And again. And again. Keep thinking until you realize that there are never enough books. In the meantime, do not write anything else. Thank you.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review published here: http://www.hipsterbookclub.com/review...

Meg Rosoff's novel What I Was will early on remind readers of John Knowles's classic coming of age tale, A Separate Peace. Both books feature an adult narrator reminiscing about his time as a 16-year-old in a boarding school and the dark events that changed his life forever. Though the similarities are undeniable, Rosoff manages to give her story a unique touch that will haunt the reader long after the final page.

Rosoff gives a nod to A Separate Peace on different levels. Her main character, unnamed until the end of the book, looks back on his formative time spent at a stuffy and remote English boarding school during the 1960s. During this period, H. (as he'll be referred to here), forms an unusual relationship with an extraordinary boy who is everything the narrator wishes to be. Like Knowles's book, What I Was is a story about questioned identity, innocence lost, and how we become who we are.

Already having been dismissed from two schools for lackluster performance and general apathy, H. instantly feels suffocated by the strict rules and conventions at his new school, St. Oswald's. His teenage angst can be almost unbearable to an adult reader who is never really enlightened as to why the boy harbors such ennui and hostility. Once H. realizes that St. Oswald's low standards would make dismissal from a third school difficult, he submits to coasting along, keeping his head down and mouth shut, and following the same pattern of mediocrity that is expected of him.

Adolescence is a trying time at best, but H.'s malaise exceeds normal teenage discontent and at first distances him from the reader. For example, his poor treatment of a lonely fellow student desperate for friendship is off-putting. The mild dislike readers may feel for the protagonist doesn't seem to be a mistake by the author however. One could assume that these character flaws purposely show the naivety of a young boy who hasn't yet realized the world doesn't revolve around himself. It ultimately shows how we can become so wrapped up in ourselves, or someone else, that we selfishly forget the world around us.

This fog of melancholy envelopes the book from the first page to the last word, but the heavy mood provides an almost Gothic feel to the book. This is most evident in the magically-described setting. St. Oswald's is a dreary Victorian structure resembling a prison engulfed by misty fog so thick that when H. and his father arrive for the first time they "might have driven off England and into the sea if not for a boy waving a torch in bored zigzags by the school entrance." The featureless corridors and dark courtyards seem designed to "starve the human spirit." These miserable surroundings are a stark contrast to the spellbinding world of crashing waves and green marshes H. discovers when he meets a remarkable stranger.

An ordinary day turns extraordinary when H. accidentally encounters a boy his age secretly living alone in an abandoned fisherman's hut off the coast, unbeknownst to the rest of the world. The quiet and peculiar boy is beautiful, athletic, clever, and most of all independent—everything H. is not. His name, whether ironically or deliberately, is Finn—like Finny from A Separate Peace. And like the fascinating Finny of Knowles's book, Finn evokes a sense of envy from the protagonist:

He looked impossibly familiar, like a fantasy version of myself, with the face I had always hoped would look back at me from a mirror. The bright, flickering quality of his skin reminded me of the surface of the sea. He was almost unbearably beautiful and I had to turn away, overcome with pleasure and longing and a realization of life's desperate unfairness.

H. is immediately drawn to the drastic contrast of Finn and his world. While H. has rules, academics, and structure, Finn has none of those. Instead, he takes his lessons from the nature around him and a shelf of old books he has read and re-read over the years. His exotic lifestyle of absolute freedom and his awkward detached personality captivate H., who becomes absorbed in forging a friendship between them, to the point of obsession.

Rosoff never spells out whether H.'s attraction to Finn is sexual or romantic in nature, instead leaving it to the reader to interpret. It is clear, though, that H. begins to question his identity and becomes dependent on Finn for his own happiness. His infatuation with Finn gives H. a new purpose but also consumes him entirely. His disregard for the rest of the world eventually takes a toll and leads to tragic consequences for all involved.

The intense story is short but expertly paced, neither drawn out nor rushed. Rosoff strikes an ideal balance between the serious tone and heavy emotions, and the mystery and excitement surrounding Finn. The book may not leave readers in particularly high spirits—hard lessons are never easily learned—but the haunting story has its own strange beauty. Rosoff not only draws readers into the story but shuts out the outside world so that readers feel as though they've been dropped into gloomy St. Oswald's or Finn's magical hut alongside the narrator. This beautifully structured and poignant story may take a few cues from its predecessors, but it certainly has enough qualities to stand on its own as a heartbreaking tale about the pains of growing up.

[Juliana Graham · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a strange book and very different from How I Live Now by the same author which I really enjoyed. It tells the story of a teenage boy at boarding school and the relationship he forms with the enigmatic Finn who lives near the sea. Even though the book is beautifully written, not very much really happens and I found the twist downright confusing! How was it possible for the nameless lead character to spend so much time with Finn and not guess their secret? The twist also changed the entire angle of the book for me; from one of a lonely outsider finding a similar soul away from the confines of boarding school to more of a case of mistaken identity. I can't say much more without swathes of spoiler tags but overall I'm not sure I would recommend this book even though others seem to love it - a bit of a let down.

[alittlelifeofmel]

As of right now this is a DNF. It will be unrated because there's honestly nothing wrong with it. I personally found the plot just too slow, the writing just a little too slow, and myself uncaring about the main character and the story he was telling me. I am slightly interested in what the book is actually about (as there was no hint of it by page 50) so I may skim, but I don't think I have the inclination to actually read it.

[Azita Rassi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Flowing poetry. I was there and could see, feel, smell everything.
The beloved voice of my cherished Ralph Cosham made it all the more beautiful.

[Jana ☀️ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Puh. Keine Ahnung ob ich das Buch damals zur falschen Zeit angefangen habe, denn ich kann mir absolut nicht mehr erklären, warum ich es langweilig fand. Klar, es hat kaum "richtige" Handlung, es ist eine ganze Zeit immer nur dasselbe. Aber heute morgen habe ich wieder angefangen zu lesen und dieser Schreibstil... wow. Der holt alles wieder raus. Es ist so unglaublich poetisch und schön geschrieben. Und vor allem detailgenau, jedes Mal wenn ich darin gelesen habe, konnte ich wieder in meine kleine Welt abtauchen, die ich mir im Kopf gebaut hatte. Es war richtig schön, vor allem weil ich diese Atmossphäre mag, mit dem Wind und den Stürmen und dem rauen, eiskalten Meer. Ich weiß nicht, das fühlt sich nach Zuhause an. Die Geschichte war doch ein wenig naja.. sagen wir mal sie hat sich gezogen. Aber das Ende war krass und als dann die "Wahrheit" über Finn rauskam.. what?! Ich war richtig geschockt. Aber ja, es war ein gutes Buch und ich bin sehr, sehr froh es gelesen zu haben.

Sorry für die verwirrende und ungeordnete """Rezension""" (wenn man sowas als Rezension bezeichnen kann)

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an intriguing little book.

I knew from experience that Meg Rosoff doesn’t pen your “average” young adult fiction; indeed, How I Live Now was one of the more offbeat, compelling and disturbing YA books I’ve ever read. I finished it almost four years ago, yet I can recall certain passages and turns of phrase all these books later.

In the vein of the colorful, unusual and incredibly well-written is this slim novel: What I Was. The tale of H, our relatively unnamed narrator, and his long-ago friendship with Finn, Rosoff’s story is an exploration of friendship. A confusing, focused, odd and all-encompassing friendship, perhaps, but still just a friendship at its core.

It’s hard to do this book justice — or discuss it without spoilers. So much happens, but there is little discernible “plot” in the traditional sense. H is a rapscallion (how often can one use that word?!) used to getting kicked out of prestigious boarding schools, and he expects he’ll face a similar departure from this one. Everything is a little boring, a little beneath him; he’s not interested in studying or readying himself for the future, or whatever it is young men of wealth and privilege should be doing. He simply doesn’t care.

And then, on a run with his classmates, he meets Finn. Moody, quiet and living a life of extreme independence in a small but well-cared-for hut on the water, Finn’s life is everything H wishes for himself — especially free from the prying eyes of professors and classmates. Though H doesn’t recognize his growing concern for Finn as what it truly is (until it’s too late, perhaps), we know that H has fallen in love.

It gets more complicated from there.

But not in the ways you’d expect.

Oh, the exquisite pain of wanting to discuss what happens in this book without spoiling it all for you. I will note that I had an awful spoiler-ish encounter with a review posted elsewhere, so I’m not going to do that to you. Even knowing what I knew going in (not everything, just some of it), I was still shocked by what transpired. In an impressive way. Rosoff is a master of revealing secrets slowly, then all at once . . . and you’re left gobsmacked that you could have missed something so obvious.

She’s just that good.

Though H is not a thoroughly admirable person, he’s a teenage boy. A teen boy with issues and problems and secrets weighing heavily on his shoulders, even if his natural defense is to laugh them off or lash out. I appreciated him as a narrator, enjoying his sarcasm and natural wit — and even when the chaos became too much to handle, I felt that this older-H telling us the story of this fateful year was an anchor. I held on to him.

The setting of What I Was — a crumbling British coastline — just added to the allure for me. Rosoff’s writing is rich in imagery, very atmospheric; we sense the damp and cold of Finn’s hut just as H does, and therefore appreciate the fledgling fire that much more.

Though this won’t go down in my personal literary history as a favorite, Rosoff’s story is fascinating and unique — something I’ve thought about often in the weeks since finishing.

[Marigold · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a lovely book. “H”, the narrator, is an old man looking back, telling the story of his youth and first love. Beautifully written – even poetic – it takes you on a journey to a place you can clearly picture in your mind. (Of course, I once lived in East Anglia so maybe that helped!) The setting is wonderfully evoked including the all-boys boarding school where H lives, & the cottage by the sea where his friend Finn lives. This is one of those books that will make you think about simplicity. Could you live in a cottage with nothing but the bare necessities? What are the bare necessities, exactly? (Apparently not indoor toilets. See my previous review of “The Ghost Map” where I reveal that everyone needs a flush toilet!) What’s the attraction behind a life of utmost simplicity?

Though the writing is wonderful & I loved the setting the author chose, I have to say I didn’t particularly sympathize with the characters – they were a bit one-dimensional & that made it difficult to identify with them. It’s also not very realistic, but I viewed this book more as a “slightly realistic fantasy” than anything else. It’s the story of H’s voyage toward self-discovery. And it’s a good story – it pulls you in (how does this total loser boy become an old, old man?) and keeps you interested despite its flaws. The story & beauty of the writing carried me forward & the big surprise was a good one – I did see it coming but not until a few pages before it was revealed. Note to readers-ahead – DON’T!!

[Elvira · Rating 4 out of 5]

såå ... det räckte tydligen med tsatsiki och så var denna intressant igen? läste den långsamt, långsamt förutom de sista, kanske 50 sidorna som jag läste med andan i halsen. så himla bra avslut, samtidigt som det var rätt så typiskt. men snygg story överlag!

[Ivana M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Većim delom je ovo bilo jedno sasvim prijatno čitanje. Slaba sam na misteriozne likove, englesku obalu i loše vreme, priznajem. Malkice podseća na Duhovo dete Sonje Hartnet - i ovde je pripovedač u poznim godinama i postoji misteriozna, ćutljiva osoba i taj fatalni susret na obali mora. I sve je to stilski fino upakovano i prošarano istorijskim pasažima i filozofiranjem o neumitnom protoku vremena. Kraj je taj koji fasuje. I to zato što pripovedačeva i Finova priča zapravo nigde ne vodi. Desi se taj veliki preokret i ništa. Da je kraj otvoren još bi i imalo nekog smisla. Ovako se osećam nekako iznevereno.

[Marcia Arguelles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t think I have words to describe this book.
I was seriously not expecting this plot, these characters, this world, when I picked up this book and brought it home with me.
I’m so glad I did pick it up and bring it home tho, because it did not disappoint.
It’s a small book, very easy to read and if it weren’t for my eyes hurting I would have read it in one sitting. Don’t know how, but since the very first page (and I’m seriously not exaggerating when I say first page) I was hooked.
It’s such a simple book, but with so strong of a story it hurts.
And that little, powerful twist? Loved it! Was not expecting it whatsoever (though I have to admit, by the cover of the book, I did see it coming. I was just not really “looking that carefully” - insert wink here -)

[Paula DeBoard]

I've seen mixed reviews on this one, but I liked it. The story wasn't especially complicated --and the book was very brief -- but it was nonetheless compelling. It might have been subtitled: How does one go from being a shiftless, entitled ass to a decent human being who can empathize with another's pain? A worthy read for grappling with that question alone.

[Georgia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just like her other book How I Live Now (the incest one) this book started off just kinda a bit creepy but the middle and ending were SO good that I had to give 4 stars 😎😎

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was absolutely phenomenal. I brought it on a camping trip because it was relatively small (and therefore easy to carry) and I bought it for $5 so I wasn't particularly worried about it. I had a day to relax, and I started the book.
I had started it once before, but it didn't grab me in the first few pages and, at the time, I didn't have the free time to focus on it. I set it aside, which I now realize was a mistake.
I finished the book in less than 6 hours. I devour books usually, but this was particularly fast, especially because I was camping and kept having to put the book down (reluctantly).
I was hooked in the first chapter. It held me til the last page, and I still find myself trying to tie loose ends - by re-reading, by sitting for hours and thinking, by talking to others who have read the book. In the end, I'm still left confused at points (not a bad thing), and constantly wanting more.
This was a fantastic book, definitely one of my absolute favourites. I'm recommending it to everyone.

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, I spent more than half this book wishing it wouldn't end in the way it ended. But there was something overally beautiful and touching that I can't really put my finger on. So I give this book five stars for it's heartwarming, realistic story and more so for the feeling it gives you.
What I was follows our nameless hero's life in his 3rd boarding school where he has to cope with the school 'rules' and his disgusting perverse roommates. A chance meeting with a boy living alone on the beach drives him to obsession and stalking. The two strike up an odd (somewhat one sided) friendship.
Throughout the book are hero (let's call him H) goes on stressing on how he wants to become Finn (the unbearably beautiful boy with the flickering half-smile). H also keeps comparing himself to an anxious housewife to Finns verile self, which ofcourse is quite ironic. I'd recommend this book to anyone who can stand reading about the harsh reality of bullying, tragedy, loneliness, acceptance, and ofcourse, love.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beguiling book, with strange and mysterious undertones. Beginning with the life of a school boy at St Oswald's school, who feels isolated from the other boys and though an intelligent lad finds it difficult to fit in at the school or at home, both proving to be hostile environments.

Then he meets Finn, who manages to survive alone in a primitive hut, very self sufficient, a handsome person with whom our hero swiftly falls in love. This love story is the main focus of the novel, the way that our hero breaks free, playing truant from his boarding school in order to spend more time with the intriguing and fascinating character that is Finn.

These two characters go through a number of trials and tribulations along the way and our hero evolves, growing in confidence and self sufficiency. Finn, similarly grows and changes in the different circumstances that prevail.

There are surprises and shocks for which the readers are totally unprepared. A very good read, I enjoyed it greatly, some very poignant moments as well as some amazing comedy.

Well worth a read, enjoy!

[Jack · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think Meg Rosoff is writing some of the most relevant YA fiction out there. She is literary, accessible, in charge of her own language, and most importantly, she is not afraid to pose and explore questions that don't really have any good answers just yet.

For instance, this book is, in part, about gender. It's about gender without being "about gender." And since it's not "about gender," it manages to get at the heart of some truly complicated issues surrounding gender variance and queer identity.

I've read so many books about queer kids coming of age - fantasy world books like boy meets boy; truly issue-driven books like parrotfish; sad, sad beaten down books like house of stairs...but here is Meg Rosoff, pulling the experience out of the hands of the hetero/homo, male/female binary, and offering something that feels revolutionary, novel.

So, hats off, Meg Rosoff. I don't see anyone else out there doing what you are doing.

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as brilliant as "How I Live Now," (really, what can be?), but still a thoroughly good read. I really enjoy Ms. Rosoff's way with words, she is really skilled at describing a scene and various characters' reactions to it without spelling it all out for you. Perhaps because I have always been partial to stories of children & teens surviving out in the wilderness on their own with no adults (i.e., My Side of the Mountain, Julie of Wolves, The Boxcar Children, etc, etc), I really enjoyed her descriptions of Finn's life in the little hut on the island that is ever-so-slowly being swallowed up by the sea.

The mood and tone of this book reminded me in some ways of one of my most favorite books ever, Charlotte Sometimes by Penelope Farmer. It's really refreshing to read someone who knows how to write well after all the crappy books I have been reading recently.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book is a slow quiet read, about a young boy in an English boarding school in the 60s, not quite an outcast but not really making friends either. Until he meets the strange Finn, who lives alone in a hut by the sea. Their friendship deepens but also seems very one-sided, until a tragedy, adn a surprise, happens.

Like I said, this book is very quiet, but that allows it to seep into you and not let go. The ending is very sad, a lot of "what might have been." that may resonate more with adults than teens.

[Dawn Murray · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so incredibly beautiful to begin with. The first half left me speechless - the writing, the characters, the setting, the relationship... achingly beautiful to read. The last half was not nearly as satisfying, and the end was not at all. And yet, four stars for such a brilliant start that I thought this one would end up on my forever shelf for sure. I won't soon forget the relationship between the two boys in this story.