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Wounds Not Healed by Time: The Power of Repentance and Forgiveness
How should we respond to injuries done to us and to the hurts that we inflict on others? In this thoughtful book, Wounds Not Healed By Time , Solomon Schimmel guides us through the meanings of justice, forgiveness, repentance, and reconciliation. In doing so, he probes to the core of the human encounter with evil, drawing on religious traditions, psychology, philosophy, and the personal experiences of both perpetrators and of victims.
Christianity, Judaism and Islam call for forgiveness and repentance in our relations with others. Yet, as Schimmel points out, there are significant differences between them as to when and whom to forgive. Is forgiving always more moral than refusing to forgive? Is it ever immoral to forgive? When is repentance a pre-condition for forgiveness, and what does repentance entail? Schimmel explores these questions in diverse contexts, ranging from conflicts in a marriage and personal slights we experience every day to enormous crimes such as the Holocaust. He applies insights on forgiveness and repentance to the Middle East, post-apartheid South Africa, inter-religious relationships, and the criminal justice system.
In Wounds Not Healed By Time , Schimmel also provides practical strategies to help us forgive and repent, preparing the way for healing and reconciliation between individuals and groups. "It is my belief," Schimmel concludes, "that the best balm for the resentment, rage, guilt, and shame engendered by human evil lies in finding the proper balance between justice, repentance, and forgiveness."
Christianity, Judaism and Islam call for forgiveness and repentance in our relations with others. Yet, as Schimmel points out, there are significant differences between them as to when and whom to forgive. Is forgiving always more moral than refusing to forgive? Is it ever immoral to forgive? When is repentance a pre-condition for forgiveness, and what does repentance entail? Schimmel explores these questions in diverse contexts, ranging from conflicts in a marriage and personal slights we experience every day to enormous crimes such as the Holocaust. He applies insights on forgiveness and repentance to the Middle East, post-apartheid South Africa, inter-religious relationships, and the criminal justice system.
In Wounds Not Healed By Time , Schimmel also provides practical strategies to help us forgive and repent, preparing the way for healing and reconciliation between individuals and groups. "It is my belief," Schimmel concludes, "that the best balm for the resentment, rage, guilt, and shame engendered by human evil lies in finding the proper balance between justice, repentance, and forgiveness."
- GenresNonfictionTheology
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
June 18, 2020
This is the best book on forgiveness that I’ve ever read. Bar none. I’ve recommended it countless times over the years.
When people perpetuate an un-natural evil against your family, it produces a wound that is not healed by time. The only healing for that wound is coming to know that there is, in fact, justice in the universe. The people who have harmed me will, in fact, face justice.
Books that teach codependency and other unhealthy emotional responses to human evil under the guise of religion are not healthy. This book strikes the healthiest balance between Christian teaching and healthy responses to human evil.
Since I read this book, I’ve searched. I’ve counted the Omer with the Jews, observed Lent with the Catholics, studied Kabala, studied meditation, learned and fallen in love with the Rosary. Through it all, I’ve found that God, in his mercy, does bring healing. Healing doesn’t come from people who are victims of gave injustices and unnatural evils forgiving the perpetrators. It comes from seeking justice and from Christ’ finished work on the cross. It is by HIS stripes that we are healed.
When people perpetuate an un-natural evil against your family, it produces a wound that is not healed by time. The only healing for that wound is coming to know that there is, in fact, justice in the universe. The people who have harmed me will, in fact, face justice.
Books that teach codependency and other unhealthy emotional responses to human evil under the guise of religion are not healthy. This book strikes the healthiest balance between Christian teaching and healthy responses to human evil.
Since I read this book, I’ve searched. I’ve counted the Omer with the Jews, observed Lent with the Catholics, studied Kabala, studied meditation, learned and fallen in love with the Rosary. Through it all, I’ve found that God, in his mercy, does bring healing. Healing doesn’t come from people who are victims of gave injustices and unnatural evils forgiving the perpetrators. It comes from seeking justice and from Christ’ finished work on the cross. It is by HIS stripes that we are healed.
February 13, 2018
This is a dense, thoughtful, thought-provoking, and powerful book about forgiveness. Written by a Jewish rabbi, it deals with the subject from religious, moral, and legal perspectives, and explains and discusses the differences among various religious teachings - especially Jewish and Christian - about revenge, justice, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
In various chapters, Schimmel considers the topic of whether and when forgiveness is a virtue, why we might not choose to forgive in some circumstances, and approaches to cultivating forgiveness, including Everett Worthington's concept of "reducing unforgiveness."
The book concludes with an epilogue which analyzes South Africa's approach to reconciliation after ending its decades-long system of apartheid.
In various chapters, Schimmel considers the topic of whether and when forgiveness is a virtue, why we might not choose to forgive in some circumstances, and approaches to cultivating forgiveness, including Everett Worthington's concept of "reducing unforgiveness."
The book concludes with an epilogue which analyzes South Africa's approach to reconciliation after ending its decades-long system of apartheid.
August 13, 2009
What do we mean by forgiveness? Is it a moral obligation, appropriate and possible in all situations, or do factors such as remorse, confession, apology, and reparation play a key role? Does forgiving have any real meaning coming from someone other than the victim; that is, can third parties provide forgiveness or can we forgive ourselves? This examination of forgiveness and repentance seeks to answer such questions, and notes particularly the differences between answers offered by Christian and Jewish (and occasionally Islamic) traditions. Although primarily concerned with the ways these concepts play out in this religious context, it discusses their application to the non-religious. A practicing psychologist as well as a scholar, the author also explores and evaluates various methods of psychological counseling emphasizing forgiveness, many of which have been formulated by Christian psychologists. The book
Forgiveness, like gratitude, has become a very popular prescription in self-help circles. Schimmel asks us to look more deeply into how interpersonal breaches can and should be healed. He maintains that many current approaches trivialize both responsibility for the damage done and the often difficult and painful steps leading to repair of human relationships. For him, reconciliation is the main objective of repentance and forgiveness, and the onus rests with the offending party to repair whatever harm he or she has caused. This is often an opportunity for self-knowledge and self-transformation. At the same time, the wronged party is confronted with the choice between revenge and forbearance and has the opportunity to manifest compassion.
explores why, how, and whom to forgive, and how to repent, in the hope that by cultivating our capacity and our will to do both, we will reduce the resentments in our hearts and our evil behavior toward one another. To the extent that we can do so, we approach the biblical ideal "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Lev. 19:18, Mark 12:31) in our personal and societal relationships. I hope that this book can, in a small way, help us come closer to the biblical vision of love founded on justice, compassion, and self-transformation. -- p. 9
Forgiveness, like gratitude, has become a very popular prescription in self-help circles. Schimmel asks us to look more deeply into how interpersonal breaches can and should be healed. He maintains that many current approaches trivialize both responsibility for the damage done and the often difficult and painful steps leading to repair of human relationships. For him, reconciliation is the main objective of repentance and forgiveness, and the onus rests with the offending party to repair whatever harm he or she has caused. This is often an opportunity for self-knowledge and self-transformation. At the same time, the wronged party is confronted with the choice between revenge and forbearance and has the opportunity to manifest compassion.
March 6, 2011
Solomon Schimmel is the Professor of Jewish Education and Psychology at Hebrew College, in Newton, Massachusetts. As someone who has struggled a lifetime, as a Christian, with the issue of forgiving evil, unjustifiable acts, I absolutely love his perspective on the responsibility of the perpetrator.
True repentance:
1. "First, you must recognize and acknowledge your sin, and feel guilt and remorse for having committed it." (This obviously leaves out sociopaths, who are incapable of this.)
2. "Second, you must repair the injury you caused."
3. "Third, you must apologize to your victim." (I would add, "....unless doing so would cause your victim more irreparable damage.")
4. This is the one that I think is extremely important, and probably the one where most perpetrators will fail! "Fourth, you should be able to face again a situation similar in its pressures to the situation in which your offense was committed, and not succumb."
Christianity simplifies forgiveness to a meaningless platitude that is insulting, and ignorant of what true evil can effect in survivor's life. Forgiveness is not always possible, and NOT always ours to give. Although I grieve the millions and millions of lives lost in the Holocaust, I cannot rightfully forgive. It is not my place, and I would not presume to do so. I hold a righteous anger against what happened.
In personal, horrific matters, I have finally learned that seeking personal justice has great long-term costs, and to give control to God. He is better equipped and will deal fairly with evil.
This is what I have learned from Schimmel. I never recommend trivial Christian books on forgiveness. I recommend this book. It handles Christian forgiveness fairly, and is highly intelligent. It is very well-written. I absolutely love this book. I wish Schimmel were my next door neighbor!
True repentance:
1. "First, you must recognize and acknowledge your sin, and feel guilt and remorse for having committed it." (This obviously leaves out sociopaths, who are incapable of this.)
2. "Second, you must repair the injury you caused."
3. "Third, you must apologize to your victim." (I would add, "....unless doing so would cause your victim more irreparable damage.")
4. This is the one that I think is extremely important, and probably the one where most perpetrators will fail! "Fourth, you should be able to face again a situation similar in its pressures to the situation in which your offense was committed, and not succumb."
Christianity simplifies forgiveness to a meaningless platitude that is insulting, and ignorant of what true evil can effect in survivor's life. Forgiveness is not always possible, and NOT always ours to give. Although I grieve the millions and millions of lives lost in the Holocaust, I cannot rightfully forgive. It is not my place, and I would not presume to do so. I hold a righteous anger against what happened.
In personal, horrific matters, I have finally learned that seeking personal justice has great long-term costs, and to give control to God. He is better equipped and will deal fairly with evil.
This is what I have learned from Schimmel. I never recommend trivial Christian books on forgiveness. I recommend this book. It handles Christian forgiveness fairly, and is highly intelligent. It is very well-written. I absolutely love this book. I wish Schimmel were my next door neighbor!
October 11, 2012
Quotes to remember...“Resentment and revenge are not the best ways to assuage pain and they do not mend fractured relationships. Personal healing, as well as reconciliation between individuals and between groups, is better accomplished by forgiveness and repentance.”
"Guilt, at times, does not lead to cessation of poor behavior, I think more times than not it leads to poor self-image, depression, feelings of worthlessness, anger, vengefulness towards self or others and a continuation or worsening of behavior.”
“When the victim and offender had no prior relationship, or when love was not an element of their relationship. I don’t see why love should be expected or desired, since I don’t think everyone can love everyone, and we needn’t try to do so. Everyone should treat everyone with fairness, dignity, respect and justice and often, with compassion. But these behaviors are not love.”
“Repentance does not take place in a social vacuum. Repentance is not exclusively a personal experience between man and God, or between man and his conscience, uninfluenced by social forces.”
“Repentance prepares the ground for healing, forgiveness and reconciliation, between individuals and between groups.”
"Guilt, at times, does not lead to cessation of poor behavior, I think more times than not it leads to poor self-image, depression, feelings of worthlessness, anger, vengefulness towards self or others and a continuation or worsening of behavior.”
“When the victim and offender had no prior relationship, or when love was not an element of their relationship. I don’t see why love should be expected or desired, since I don’t think everyone can love everyone, and we needn’t try to do so. Everyone should treat everyone with fairness, dignity, respect and justice and often, with compassion. But these behaviors are not love.”
“Repentance does not take place in a social vacuum. Repentance is not exclusively a personal experience between man and God, or between man and his conscience, uninfluenced by social forces.”
“Repentance prepares the ground for healing, forgiveness and reconciliation, between individuals and between groups.”
August 30, 2009
Dr. Schimmel offers an interesting look at the problems of forgiveness and repentance. He is not content with easy answers or platitudes; instead, he probes hard to try to find reasonable and satisfying answers to difficult questions about how, why, and when repentance can be completed and forgiveness extended. This is definitely not a "feel-good" book offering a quick, easy way out of our feelings of guilt and remorse, but it offers much food for thought to those who hunger for a greater understanding of the human situation.
May 15, 2013
A thoughtful book that explores helpful ways to think about and through the extremely important, inter-related topics of revenge, forgiveness and repentance.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews