Go Suck a Lemon: Strategies for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence

by Michael Cornwall

Emotional intelligence (EI) is an integral part of our understanding and navigation of the emotional landscape, a concept that finds its roots in the wisdom of ancient philosophers like Epictetus. He famously stated that people are not disturbed by things but by their view of things. This perspective highlights the critical role of EI in interpreting and managing the emotional content of our lives. EI involves the ability to perceive, manage, and evaluate emotions in oneself and others. This facet of social intelligence is critical to accurately discerning various emotions and utilizing this understanding to influence our thoughts and actions.

The development of EI has sparked much debate among scholars. While some suggest that EI is an inherent characteristic, others argue it can be cultivated and strengthened through learning and practice. In this regard, the book Go Suck A Lemon emerges as a significant resource. It offers practical cognitive techniques to enhance EI, transforming moments that might otherwise lead to self-defeat into opportunities for growth and personal enrichment.

Optimal emotional intelligence is composed of several pivotal elements, which are typically categorized into four or five primary

This is the ability to identify and understand one's emotions, encompassing awareness of one's feelings, motivations, and desires and comprehending their impact on thoughts and behaviours. It also involves recognizing personal strengths and weaknesses.

This component involves managing disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances. Effective self-regulation is essential for maintaining emotional equilibrium and demonstrating resilience under stress.

Within the EI framework, motivation is the drive to work for intrinsic rewards rather than external factors like money or status. It includes a strong achievement drive, optimism in the face of challenges, and a commitment to organizational goals.

Empathy is the capacity to understand and share the feelings of others. It includes being attuned to others' emotional needs and concerns and is crucial in social interactions and understanding interpersonal dynamics.

Social These skills are necessary for effectively handling and influencing others' emotions. They encompass various abilities, including effective communication, leadership, conflict management, teamwork, and relationship building.

In some models, a fifth domain is

Relationship This involves the ability to cultivate and maintain healthy relationships, communicate effectively, inspire and influence others, work collaboratively in teams, and manage conflicts. It underscores the importance of emotional awareness to foster solid and functional relationships.Go Suck A Lemon transcends being merely a guide—it's a call to embark on a transformative journey towards heightened emotional intelligence. This journey entails recognizing that our perceptions and interpretations often shape our emotional responses. Refining these perceptions can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling emotional existence. As individuals engage with the principles and practices laid out in the book, it's crucial to remember that the pursuit of emotional intelligence is a continuous process that requires ongoing dedication and effort.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Productivity, Audiobook

260 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 2, 2010

About the author

Dr. Michael Cornwall is the author of Go Suck A Lemon: Strategies for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence and Grow A Pear: A Guide to Improved Emotional Intelligence. He was trained in Rational Emotive Behavior therapy (REBT) by Drs. Albert Ellis and Raymond DiGiuseppe. He holds Primary and Advanced Certification in REBT and Cognitive Behavioral therapy. He is an advanced certified Emotional Intelligence (EQ) practitioner. Since 1995, REBT has been his primary practice orientation. Dr. Cornwall’s secondary and tertiary practice models are Emotional Intelligence theory and bio-psycho-social awareness. Dr. Cornwall holds doctor's degrees in both general psychology and behavioral medicine. He holds master’s degrees in both professional clinical counseling and social work. Dr. Cornwall is a veteran of the United States Air Force.

Reviews

[BLACK CAT · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kind of a biography mixed with some psychology concepts. Read instead Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.

[Mohamed Magdy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was my first book on EI

It does not really take a scientific approach backed up by research or evidence but uses more logical ideas, instead, and makes them feel like common sense because of the way they are phrased.

Some of the ideas are a bit repetitive, but they are introduced from different perspectives, which, in my opinion, mostly makes them stick with you better.

It did help me a lot realize some things about my thought process and work on improving them, as it offers some direct approaches to solving your Emotional problems.

Some ideas were not that clear, for me at least, as the way they were applied in the book seemed a bit too specific to certain emotional problems, mainly ones concerning anger, frustration, or depression because of certain events that occur to us, but it does not talk about emotions that are not directly related to a certain event, like being depressed because of a magnitude of different reason rather than a specific reason.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aren’t you so tired of the latest book that promises something new about emotional intelligence and then just proceeds to throw you a bunch of definitions? This book doesn’t do that! Read it!

How about the overly long book that could have just been an article for the amount of actual information within? This book doesn’t do that. Read it!

Ok one more. How about those books with really bad and boring writing? This book doesn’t do that. READ IT!

[klokar · Rating 2 out of 5]

Horribly written (almost dnf) yet sprinkled with a few nuggets of wisdom

[Stefan Bruun · Rating 2 out of 5]

NB! The audible version is annoying - the entire book has music in the background. The narration is rather slow and if you speed it up just a tiny bit, the music in the background gets even more annoying.

The book may be a good introduction what emotional intelligence is about. Unlike most other books on the topic, the book doesn't take an academic approach. Rather, it explains emotional intelligence the way I would imagine a psychologist would explain it - through examples and with clear actions that can be taken.
The book takes an almost biographical approach, so if you like a more personal, less data-driven intro to EQ, this is the book for you.

[Tanya · Rating 2 out of 5]

In a nutshell: Meh. It goes from a bit cult-ish to having some gems of advice. I would read with reservations. If you are a person who needs a step by step process, and exercises to help with changing your mindset, this might help. The man who wrote this is super into it, and likes to hear himself talk.

[Trina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Self-published book filled with grammatical errors, condescending/patronizing tone, and reads terribly as an audiobook. The audiobook not match the physical copy (difference in content and number of chapters), and I have both. He discusses "emotional intelligence" theory and presents concepts in black and white, which has its own set of tradeoffs. Much of the chapters are repeating themselves, and don't seem well organized. (You'll come to chapters that are only 3 pages.)

Aside from that, there's some nuggets of wisdom in here if you can overlook all the warts. There's value in examining your own self talk, understanding that you have self talk, and believing in the power you hold and how you see yourself and approach situations.

There's probably plenty of other books that offer this in a much better format, with much more grace, deeper and more thought-provoking content, better organization, and better storytelling. It's very obvious that this is self published and I'd be surprised if any editors have gone through it. I wouldn't recommend the book.

[Ashley Soto · Rating 2 out of 5]

I actually did not enjoy this book. I think a more suitable title should be What is Emotional Intelligence. Almost the entire book was spent explaining what EI is and how it affects us, in a very redundant way, and only added a few strategies at the very end. While that has it's own value it's not what I was looking for and I felt I had to drag my eyes through the pages just to finish it.

[Darren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting book

I have read a lot of books on emotional intelligence, but this book turned out to be special, it’s easier to understand and the theories mentioned are easy to practice.

[Ariana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found the author to have an arrogant tone. Also the book was simple and repetitive but I did learn.

[Esther Martinez]

It's a great book to help you improve your EI.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Go Suck a Lemon. It will take the force of will to do that. Brilliant!

[Isabelle | Nine Tale Vixen]

DNF @ 18%

I've been interested in the concept of EQ/Emotional Intelligence for almost as long as I can remember, though I haven't really sought out literature on the topic. Anyway, this was not a good place to start, but it was available through Prime Reading.

There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the organization of this book: short sections jumping between personal anecdotes (which often depict everyone else involved as "crazy" or stupid or both), gratuitously described sensory experiences, and direct quotes from Dr. Albert "Al" Ellis.

So I had barely any idea what point(s) the author was trying to make. The prose didn't help; I had to reread sentences and paragraphs to make sense of them, sometimes only to discover they weren't even relevant to what seemed to be the main point. (By the way, book literally opens with a self-description as "[the author's] interests in counseling, psychology, and fiction writing [blended] into the hybrid before you".)

What I did get was a lot of ableist proclamations that people basically need to get over themselves and stop assuming that the world owes them an easy life, stop letting other people affect your emotions, stop letting your emotions dictate your life. Just think about your thinking, and your life will be transformed for the better.

Yeah, I'm not buying it.

-----------
CONVERSION : DNF = no rating

Prose: 2 / 10
Intellectual Engagement: 2 / 10
Credibility: 3 / 10
Organization / Structure: 1 / 10

Emotional Impact / Interest: 1 / 5 [oh the irony]
Rereadability: N/A
Memorability: 1 / 5

[Abhinav Chada · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotional Intelligence, according to this book, stems from rational thinking and proper reasoning and the solution to any emotional crisis is present within us. It's all about our perspective towards it. The book is a perfect self-help book that guides through the concepts of Emotional Intelligence with diligence. The flow of the text is smooth and transitions are slick. Michael Cornwall has contrived the strategies in the form of stories, exercises, and excerpts from his psychotherapy sessions. This book explains how a simple tweak in perspective can do wonders for the psyche as well as our emotional well being.

The highlight of the book is the 'ABCDE' strategy which is effectively pragmatic. The way he brought magical thinking to subvert dogmatic views and irrational thinking is also commendable.

All in all, I'd recommend this book to anyone looking to excel emotionally in personal life to corporate life.

[Akib · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is a book that speaks to a very large group of people. This book is going to shape my thinking in a positive way and fix the core thinking anomalies in myself.
Because I was bullied, ridiculed all my childhood, I hate to feel like that as an adult too. However, this book has shown me that people can have the least amount of influence over me if I can live contently with myself and I am the one making myself feel, not anyone else. This self-power is what I need for the rest of my life. Thanks to the author.

[Wayne · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book has a really strong ABCDE technique for managing your emotions especially as it pertains to your thoughts and interpretation of those thoughts. The writing was not as sophisticated and made it hard to see the progressing from chapter to chapter and the point of each chapter. Another book that could've been 1/2 the size. The "force of will" statements at the end of each chapter were severely overplayed.

[Aman Reading · Rating 3 out of 5]

A mediocre (but accessible) read into the world of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy). Frankly the book lacked an internal logic and did not seem to be a coherent whole. It meandered from point-to-point without much force behind each idea or anecdote. While it may work for the layman as a beginner's work on psychology, I would encourage those of a more intellectual bent to find their insight elsewhere -- perhaps in primary texts of Albert Ellis.

[Omar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent description that lays out a beautiful plan about understanding and manipulating your own emotional life while understanding more about yourself.

After recently suffering a Traumatic brain injury and losing a significant portion of my memory, this book helped me re-define my approach to my experience through life. I highly recommend you read it and re-read it

[Bhiri (Maja) · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book explains emotional intelligence through examples and experiences rather than a hard academic approach. I did not mind it but I personally would have enjoyed a bit more scientific data included. Some techniques are presented at the end of the book. Again would have appreciated a bit more on those. Still worth a read.

[Petal Athirah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Didn’t know what to expect reading the book but oh goodness it was one of the greatest!

A total eye opener. I have learned so much from the book and the guides to improve emotional intelligence are put in a straightforward and simple manner which was easy to understand.

This book is definitely great for people who believes their emotional intelligence is great but needs improvements.

[Clint the Cool Guy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful. Provides solid understanding of your emotions and a good strategy for managing them. If you are the kind of person who is willing to be internally focused (looking at things within your control) versus externally focused (looking at things outside of your control), then you will benefit greatly from this book. Recommended.

[Erin Chua · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to comprehend the strategies as they are based on real life experiences. Author also includes his own experiences in emotional intelligence. Light hearted and also straight to the point. A good book to recommend for any beginners in wanting to improve their EQ.

[Chaoya · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't get enough patients to go through the whole book because I didn't feel that I was learning too much. The author seems focuses on a narrow area of Emotional Intelligence, which is anxiety and chronic worries. If you've read Daniel's Emotional Intelligence, this book won't be that helpful.

[Eunice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nice book describing how to analyze and control your emotions; various practical tips that are extremely helpful in real life making it a must read for all who are struggling with emotions that is affecting their wellbeing.

[Heron Lopez · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book on emotional intelligence recommended to me by an past counselor of mine. At the time I was glad I read it. Looking back on it the advice was sound enough for to me to remember few lessons from it. Will have to go back and reread it to do it justice after having years past.

[Hasina F. · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author's writing is easy to read. He's so clear in his sentences and stories and examples. It taught me more about emotional intelligence, and pushed me to learn more about it, since it is THE subject of my current work at a non-profit. So... I'm thankful for this book, for this author!

[Erica Napolitano · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay

Got boring after a while. Some of it was a bit common sense, but it did remind me to stay positive.

[Aniket · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book overall. Doesn't go much into details of what part of EQ but 'how' part. Overall, good read.

[Mehdi · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first EI book, it was good, but I guess I should read for Daniel Goleman now.

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good strategies

Very good strategies but for me it was unevenly constructed. Some sections were compelling and others felt simple and - sometimes - unrelated to the topic.