Fix Me

by Rune Michaels

Orphaned as a child, terrorized by her abusive brother, and haunted by memories, Leia feels exposed, powerless, and vulnerable. When her tormented mind can stand it no longer, she escapes to the zoo, where she finds shelter and seeks refuge. The zoo is a sanctuary: a protective space for families, and a safe place for the traumatized to forget. But can she ever feel safe? Can she ever forget?

Once again, Rune Michaels brings us a harrowing psychological drama that raises questions about the very nature of humanity. This chilling tale will challenge our preconceptions of family, memory, and self, leaving readers wondering, are we the pinnacle of evolution—or are we just animals on display?

Genres: Young Adult, Abuse, Realistic Fiction, Fiction, Contemporary, Psychology, Teen

149 pages, Hardcover

First published December 6, 2011

About the author

Rune lives in Reykjavík with her husband, their daughter and their two cats, trying hard not to live a life out of one of her books.

Reviews

[Joy (joyous reads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of those books where you walk away feeling bereft and a bit like you've lost someone vital in your life but for the life of you, you can't remember their name. It was being completely involved - engrossed in a storyteller's tale only to be left hanging because the storyteller didn't finish his story. It was frustrating to say the least.

Leia has been abused for most of her life. When she wasn't bleeding from the violent fights her and her brother would have, she'd used needles to release the darkness inside of her. She ran away and found herself squatting at a nearby zoo, where she found peace and acceptance around the animals. In the zoo, she met the zookeeper's son, who in turn helped her hide from whomever was looking for her. But it doesn't take long until her abusive brother finds her and the past that they were both running away from.

At 149 pages, this book was a little hard to take. I tend to stay away from angst-ridden books and ironically enough, I seemed to have hit the mother load in Fix Me. How do you even begin to help this character when you don't exactly know the circumstances of the past that burdened her? The author made it obvious but really...not. Vague allusions, disjointed memories and nightmares - none of which gave me a concrete picture of what had happened to her. Truthfully, Leia and her brother Brian were probably the most broken characters I've ever read in my entire life.

I can say, in all honesty that this book didn't warm my heart. It didn't really offer any hope that Leia was healed and was ready to face the world without the comfort of the zoo. There were sensitive and harsh issues in this book that the author only alluded to. It had left me feeling frustrated because even though I know exactly what had happened, I wanted to read the ugly truth word for word. And I do understand that if the author had done exactly that, perhaps this book would never have passed as YA. But sometimes, if you want to be real...then just BE REAL. Tell us how it is and don't beat around the bush.

I do think this novel was very insightful and moving. Leia's gentle rapport with the animals made me feel happy of her connections with them. Goodness knows, human interactions were not her forte. The dead mother incited such anger in me even though she was not around in the novel as well, the aunt who seemed to be in an oblivion for the better part of the novel. The conflicting character was Brian, her brother. I didn't get how he could be abusive and violent to his sister one moment then inexplicably 'caring' the next. Though caring might be a bit of an overstatement.

All in all, if you're looking for a little dose of reality, Fix Me is the book for you. Get to know these characters; they'll tell you what it's like to lose faith in humanity.

[Carleigh · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was absolutely disappointed by this book. The writing was was so juvenile and dry and the characters were boring. The haunting past that Leia deals with is so delicately handled, in fact, too delicately handled. I literally had to look at other people's reviews until I reached that moment of clarity. I feel this story would be 100% better if written by a different author because the story clearly holds potential unlike the writing.

[Shelby · Rating 2 out of 5]

I haven't hated a book this much in a long time.

[Emerson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Did I miss something or am I just dense?? We don't ever find out why the kids had to burn everything, or who the guy in the diner is, or the mystery behind their mother. While the whole elephant thing was charming, nothing gets worked out in the end. This book definitely felt unfinished.

[Tanya Geno · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book title: Fix Me
Author: Rune Michaels
Genres: fiction, Young adult
Publisher: Atheneum Books for Young Readers
Price: 19.99
Page: 149

Have you ever been to the zoo or simply wished you could live in someone else’s life? A young adult fiction story that leaves you speechless and wondering if the main character is ever going to survive. It’s one of those books where you wish it would never end but sadly the author has left us wondering and confused about the past, present, and future. Many pieces of the story are missing and yet that’s what drives you to read more about it and sympathize with the character.

Leia finds comfort in a zoo when memories of the past suddenly come hunting her present. The story of a broken girl who wishes to find where she belongs.

The first chapter was very hard to get thru since the writing was very confusing and jumble but once I got to page 3 it slowly started to make sense. The book left me wondering, how many people are going thru the same abuse as she has? Could it be my neighbor or even someone in my family? If the goal of the book was to leave me wondering days after on what happens to a fragile child than Rune Michaels did a fantastic job. I hope that this book had more information on the past of the main character. I did not like the feeling of always wondering what she was actually running from.

It’s a great story for people that love psychology and mystery. Could you fix a broken girl with a past that you know nothing about?

[Jennifer Lynn · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars is being generous!!! This book was so.... (unfinished) too many issues left unsolved!!! Don't bother wasting your time!

[Hailey Staab · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lots of unanswered questions. The book was finished too soon, a HUGE part of the book was left out. Multiple huge parts. I wanted more, this had a lot of potential.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reviewed by Sally Kruger aka "Readingjunky" for TeensReadToo.com

Leia doesn't remember what it's like to feel safe. Maybe back before the accident and the death of her parents, but even those memories are scarred by a secret too awful for words. Even though her aunt tries to provide a safe home, Leia's brother, Brian's, anger always seems to find her. Yes, maybe she invites it sometimes, but it seems that she is broken and can't control the impulse to add to her pain.

When Leia accidentally discovers that Brian is a cutter, too, she thinks perhaps this common bond will change his feelings toward her. However, in her heart she knows nothing is likely to change, and when she is confronted by the stranger who claims to know her and her story, she makes a sudden decision to run.

Leia ends up in the only place that offers her peace - the zoo. Her fascination with elephants leads her there. Her dreams of the gentle power of the huge animals and their ability to protect as well as destroy draw her to the elephant enclosure. After a day spent watching these amazing creatures, Leia is determined to find a way to stay at the zoo indefinitely.

It takes two days for someone to discover her illegal living arrangements. Kyle is the son of the zoo director. He confronts Leia but doesn't learn much about her or the reason for her presence. He does see her as an answer to his problem - endless chores assigned by his mother as punishment for his habit of hanging with the wrong crowd. Together, Kyle and Leia form a team. She helps him with his chores and covers for him so he can escape his mother's supervision, and he keeps quiet about her living in the zoo.

The arrangement is nearly perfect. Leia is able to spend time up close and personal with the animals she loves in return for food, clothing, and a place where she finally feels safe. However, like anything too good to be true, she eventually must face her brother and the reality that she doesn't really belong. When her situation begins to crumble and she must face the memories of her past, she finds she has a tougher skin than she imagined, both literally and figuratively.

Author Rune Michaels paints a stark picture of an abusive family and the devastating toll on its victims. Readers are sure to sympathize with Leia as they observe her gentle care and appreciation of the animals at the same time as they witness her fear of returning to her broken life.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fix Me by Rune Michaels is an "issues" book. I like these kinds of books, though I don't read them all the time. I like them because they often represent an issue that many teens face in a realistic manner, while providing hope. I can imagine young people who go through these issues finding comfort in reading a book about whatever it is they are dealing with, letting them know they are not alone.

The complication with Fix Me is that it is not about an singular issue. While this is definitely not a problem (who doesn't like complex storytelling?), it did make the story slightly unfocused. I never did completely grasp what had happened to the narrator. I have an idea of what happened, but it wasn't spelled out. Maybe it didn't need to be, but I have a tendency to like to know exactly what I'm dealing with. That could just be the therapist in me. ;)

For this and other reasons, I left Fix Me wanting more. I got a lot of information, but not quite enough. A lot of resolution, but I needed a little more. Great insight, but it could've gone further. More, more, more! I think that would have made Fix Me a better story for me.

The other irritation I had with Fix Me was the nameless narrator. Now, I understand why this was done. Without a name or specific description, the reader can easily imagine herself as the character. However, I'm not a fan of this technique. I like names. Really. I like knowing who my character is and I don't often picture myself as the main character. If anything, I picture myself in the main character's situation, but I never picture me as the main character (am I weird?).

Other than that, this was a pretty good read. I would say enjoyable, but that doesn't seem to be the appropriate word for an issues book. It was nice and short, so you can easily read it in one sitting. This works well for staying in the main character's head.

I also really liked the interaction of the main character and the animals. Animals can be very therapeutic, so her pull towards them made perfect sense to me. There were many psychological aspects to this novel that I felt were spot on. Kudos to Rune Michaels.

If you're not a fan of issues novels, I don't think you'll like this. If you are, it's worth the read.

Overall thoughts: Borrow it.

[Brittany · Rating 2 out of 5]

Leia is an orphan, and her brother beats on her almost daily. She live with her aunt, who simply tells her that siblings fight. Leia, wants to escape, needs to find someplace better. That's how she's ends up at the zoo. It's her own sanctuary and she never wants to have to leave it. She can't stay in the zoo forever though, and she must face her fears so that she may move on.

This book sounded amazing and super edgy. What I was left with was fragments of a story, pieces were missing and there was a lot of guess work involved. In some stories, leaving things to the imagination works. In this story though, it does not. It either happened or it didn't. There are too many things that are never laid out and didn't make the story better, but rather took away from them. I did like the zoo. It was great that she could find this place with the elephants that made her feel better. But we never knew why she was so messed up. She just seemed like she was completely crazy. She remembered a stranger from a dream about the zoo. Then she goes to the zoo to escape it. That doesn't make a whole lot of sense. If I had a dream about some creep and in the dream he cornered me at the zoo near the elephants, I am not going to go straight there to hide from him. That is simply ridiculous. The violence with her brother never seemed that bad. Leia barely ever used self-injury to feel better. There was just a lot in this story that were unfinished and misplaced. I won't rule out reading another Rune Michaels, but I'll be weary. Luckily this was a very short read, so I didn't have to trudge through too many pages to get to the unsatisfying end.

First Line:
"The wood is splintered around the lock, where he wedges a knife to force it open."

Favorite Line:
"And I feel the wall of air between us, compressed air teeming with poison."

Read more: http://www.areadingnook.com/#ixzz1jk1...

[Alexia Purdy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story was engrossing and I was completely enthralled by the author’s gripping way with words. It follows the life of a teenager named Leia, though we are never told her real name, and her tumultuous life. Enduring frequent violent abuse from her twin brother Brian and a loveless Aunt who barely tolerates them until they are 18. Their parents are dead, but the trauma they have left behind penetrates so deep, the twins are left shattered. One day, unable to bear the scars of the past any longer when a strange man reminds her of it, Leia runs away to the one place she can find solace, the elephant enclosure at a nearby zoo. Living in the zoo and eventually befriending the owner’s son Kyle, she attempts to piece together what remains of her fragile existence.

The story was sad but addictive. I felt for Leia, hoping she would find the answers to life that she was looking for. The past comes in pieces and small flashes of memory, never detailing exactly what happened to tear these twins into pieces, but you get the gist of something horrible committed by their father, involving pictures that circulate in the world now. Understandably, Leia and Brian have not coped well and the road to healing the damage is long and often bleak. Leia discovers peace in her new home, a sanctuary of sorts at the Pilgrim Zoo, feeding the elephants and befriending an abused chimp named Tina. Though the zookeepers discover soon enough that she has been living there, Leia’s slow transformation into a more confident and strong individual is essential to her moving on and out of the zoo.

I know people will be upset by the abrupt ending, left wanting and scratching their heads on what happened. I didn’t find it too bad though. Damage like the kind these twins suffered takes years to overcome, and the ending reflected that well. I highly recommend this book. A gritty,psychological look at what can happen in the aftermath of child abuse. It is not graphic, but does feature mature themes.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

A 16-year old girl who calls herself Leia (like the Princess) escapes abuse, a broken family, and a dark secret by running away to live clandestinely in the zoo, helped by the zookeeper's son, who agrees to hide her if she takes over his animal-tending chores. Leia feels safe and secure behind the bars of an abandoned, dilapidated tiger cage where she sleeps peacefully for the first time in years. Caring for the animals, especially the elephants and a formerly-abused and ailing chimp, Leia finds the courage to face her past.

From the first page, Leia's helplessness and isolation are vividly described, but the secret behind her misery only reveals itself in fragmented memories and dreams, finally suggesting something unspeakably odious. Leia described herself as broken, wanting to be fixed, even unable to look at herself in a mirror unless the glass is shattered first. She envies the thick-skinned elephants and thinks that if she hurts enough, her skin will heal into a bullet-proof shield, protecting her from the world.

Although many questions are left unanswered, the story is moving and insightful, precise in its brevity (only 149 pages), and shows a nuanced sensitivity to uncomfortable issues. Readers will root for Leia and relish in her ability to overcome tremendous obstacles, akin to Melinda in Anderson's classic story of trauma and emotional healing, Speak, or Klass's tale of broken families and abuse, You Don't Know Me. Although the descriptions are not graphic, the issues are disturbing and recommended for mature readers.
(this review also appears on BAYA's page)

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fix Me is a quick read that could have – and maybe should have – been a smidgeon longer. Despite the brevity, it’s well-written and handles a plethora of weighty issues – cutting, runaways, domestic violence, hints at child pornography … I suspect this will end up on the list of challenged books as a result. Works for me, as that’ll likely mean MORE people will read it!

I read this book in pretty much one sitting. (I say pretty much because we were traveling in the car, and I stopped reading during pit stops but otherwise didn’t close the book.) It had me engaged from the start, and kept me going, which I suppose is somewhat obvious. LOL There’s a bit of a mystery over what all it is that she’s so upset about, because she makes it clear that it’s not the abuse from her brother. Later on, the answer is hinted at but never fully spelled out. We get enough to be able to put the pieces together. And that’s enough – I don’t think the sordid details are needed.

Fix Me is emotional, raw, and shocking. One thing I really like is that we never find out her real name. She goes by Leia when she’s at the zoo, and even her brother goes with it. He does so mockingly, of course, but he still goes with it.

I wasn’t too keen on the cover until I got about halfway through the book. Then I understood perfectly, and it makes sense. I still don’t think it’s the most compelling of covers – I likely wouldn’t have picked it up off a shelf – but it fits the story very well.

Will I read this again? Eh … maybe, but probably not. Would I recommend it? Sure.

[BAYA Librarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

A 16-year old girl who calls herself Leia (as in “Princess…”) escapes abuse, a broken family, and a dark secret by running away to live clandestinely in the zoo, helped by the zookeeper's son, who agrees to hide her if she takes over his animal-tending chores. Leia feels safe and secure behind the bars of an abandoned, dilapidated tiger cage where she sleeps peacefully for the first time in years. Caring for the animals, especially the elephants and a formerly-abused and ailing chimp, Leia finds the courage to face her past.

From the first page, Leia's helplessness and isolation are vividly described, but the secret behind her misery only reveals itself in fragmented memories and dreams, finally suggesting something unspeakably odious. Leia described herself as broken, wanting to be fixed, even unable to look at herself in a mirror unless the glass is shattered first. She envies the thick-skinned elephants and thinks that if she hurts enough, her skin will heal into a bullet-proof shield, protecting her from the world.

Although many questions are left unanswered, the story is moving and insightful, precise in its brevity (only 149 pages), and shows a nuanced sensitivity to uncomfortable issues. Readers will root for Leia and relish in her ability to overcome tremendous obstacles, akin to Melinda in Anderson's classic story of trauma and emotional healing, Speak, or Klass's tale of broken families and abuse, You Don't Know Me. Although the descriptions are not graphic, the issues are disturbing and the book is recommended for mature readers.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Leia has assumed this new name to escape many things from her past and undoubtedly her present. Her parents are dead, she is being raised by an unsympathetic aunt, and is being physically abused by her twin brother.

She can't take any more and runs away to the nearest zoo where she is comforted by the animals, especially the elephants. Unusual, but Leia then begins to stay overnight at the zoo and meeting Kyle, who is the zookeepers son. He agrees to hide her secret in exchange for some help around the zoo, where Leia also befriends a chimpanzee who has been abused. There is an immediate connection because Leia deals with pain by cutting and Tina, the chimpanzee was abused and is now under quarantine.

This very short book gives you glimpses that Leia was sexually abused/photographed by her father, yet her mother was ignorantly unaware of this. She is embarrassed and while Brian, her brother, tries to move on, she can't because men are recognizing her and she can't forgive and forget.

There isn't a lot of adult interaction, save for Kyle's mother toward the end but by the end Leia makes her own decisions about moving on and decides to leave the zoo and Leia inside, and facing the world head-on with her given name.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Leia is hanging on by her fingernails. Her older brother constantly fights with her and hits her while their aunt looks on and does nothing. When someone from her past recognizes her in the restaurant where she has a part time job, Leia becomes completely unraveled and seeks solace in an animal sanctuary. As she sleeps in an abandoned tiger cage and slowly connects with the animals, particularly one that has been abused and mistrusts humans, Leia also slowly starts to trust some of those around her, including Kyle, the sanctuary owner's son. The details about Leia's and her brother's past are revealed gradually and often only hinted at, but there are enough clues provided for readers to figure out exactly why their growing up years became a nightmare and what shared secrets make them both cutters. How hard it is for humans and their animal counterparts to trust once that trust has been betrayed is made clear in this title. While this is a quick read, the author leaves many questions unanswered.

[Ifahh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Um... yikes. Did the other half of the book go under a chainsaw or something? I feel that the ending was ended too abruptly, like the author was rushing to submit the final transcript of the story or something.

The ending left so many questions more than answers. What REALLY was the big secret that Leia and Brian had? Of their parents' death? Is Leia ever gonna get help from anyone, other than screaming 'go away!!!' at everyone? And jeez, what's gonna happen to Kyle and are the both of them going to end up together?

The overall story was mediocre to me. Three quarter of the time you'd see Leia screaming 'go away!' and running away from her problems and not confronting them. There were times I wished she figuratively grew balls and faced them, instead of darting here and there. It was a frustrating read indeed for me.

In the end, the book was a dismal disappoint to me. No real outcome - only that the summer ended and... what? She goes to school again to revert back to her shyness?

[Michelle Kampmeier · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really didn't think this one was all that interesting. I tried to get into it, but it just didn't impress me as much as I wanted it to. I didn't like that we never learn Leia's real name, and we don't really find out the big secret (unless I missed it, but I think I was just assuming what it was after a while). I don't think we found out why Brian would treat her that way either, and the end came so abruptly. I wanted it to be deep and earth-shattering, but it really wasn't.

It's a pretty short novel and the ARC could use some editing. I only stuck through it because it's about 145 pages or so. And by the end I was wondering how it was going to end, but I didn't think it would just end out of nowhere. I didn't feel like there was a good solution or that feeling of finality. And I think that's all. Just wanted more I suppose.

[Pink · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is about a girl whose parents are dead and is now being raised by her aunt, who isn't very good at it. Her brother is physically abusive. One day at work some guy comes in who knows her, this freaks her out for some reason and she runs off to the zoo. Where she ends up staying for a while.

I would have rated this higher but I was SO frustrated that the whole story is kind of based off of something that happens to her in the past, which is referenced often, but then...you never actually find out what happened.

What. The. Hell. Was I supposed to figure it out somehow with the vague references? Because I didn't. I have a guess, but I don't know!

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a great psychological read. Really moved fast and is good for reluctant readers. The girl in the story and her brother are orphans as their parents died in a car crash. Her Aunt is living with them- for now. When she turns 18, the Aunt is going back to her own life. Her brother is really violent to her and when she runs into someone who knew her from her past, it makes her lose it. She takes off for a zoo where she feels is the only place that can offer her the comfort she needs. Things happen while she hides out in the zoo, for one, her brother finds her. It is 149 pages long and you will finish it rather quickly.

[P.A. Warren · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was so intrigued by the summary of this book that I just HAD to read it.Having read it I can say unfortunately I was quite disappointed.The book centers around Leia,her brother,their issues and Leia running away to the zoo.Perhaps I expected to much.This book just kind of left me at a flat line..When I was reading it..I didn't get the..I HAVE to finish it feel.When it ended it was just that over.Im not sure what was going on half the time..I still never figured out what happened to cause the issues between Leia and Brian.Unfortunately I would not suggest this to my reader friends.I believe this book has potential if taken and re-written.

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read, though not necessarily easy; focuses on the aftermath of child abuse without going into specific detail about the abuse itself, which I thought was well-handled. Sympathetic character coping with self-harm, family abuse (physical and emotional), with a path towards recovery which is realistic but not 100% positive/guarenteed. The lack of an up-beat ending may challenge or disturb some readers.

[Bobbie Stirtmire · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is really good. ''Fix Me'' is about a orphan girl who gets beaten by her brother several times. she decides to run off from home. her friend decides to help her out by letting her work with her. While she's working with her friend, she finds out that a man has been stalking her. Leia runs off and escapes to a zoo. She lives in the zoo until school starts.

i liked this book because this is a interesting book

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dead parents, a violent older brother, and a resentful aunt combine with some unanswered questions from the past causing Leia to flee to seek refuge in the local zoo. She finds comfort with the animals there, especially the elephants and a quarantined chimp.

A bit intense but never graphic. Stays a bit hazy right up to the end, but I think that was the author's intent.

[Lisa Delaine Youngblood · Rating 3 out of 5]

A teenager who calls herself Leia runs from an abusive brother, a disinterested aunt, and a mysterious past with which she cannot deal. When startled by a man who claims to have seen her, she escapes to the only place that she loves -- the local zoo. There she spends the summer learning to accep herself and her life.

[Kylan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book last school years, it took me a while to get through it because I didn't really like the book in the beginning. It got better within time, I really enjoyed it though. It was a pretty decent book. I wouldn't recommend it to any of my friends. But to anyone who is interested in a "runaway, self harming" teen should read this.

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the main character, Leia, and I feel that her problems are realistic, given the type of abuse that she suffered. It was also interesting to see that her older brother was physically abusive to her, given that they had had the same experiences growing up. I was disappointed in the abrupt ending, given the time the careful and thorough character development.

[Serene · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was very good. Its also a very quick and easy read. At times I found it confusing and werid but thats my opinion. Ok this is my first reveiw so I'm not very good at it. But I really can't explain this book very well.
But this book was very short andit kept me reading for about 3 hours.
Well I'll work on my reveiws this one sucked. But just saying this is a good book.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very short book. But it was another book about a tough subject matter. This book never came out and said what the MC was dealing with but you could figure it out.

I enjoyed the book and even though it was so short it got across exactly what it needed to in the way it was told.

I do wish that I knew what happened afterwards though.

[Juliana Esposito · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a very good book. Yet I never heard of this author until I read this book. I thought they were going to fall in love so that was a disappointment. But other than that I really liked the book.