From Rage to Courage: Answers to Readers' Letters

by Alice Miller

The renowned childhood researcher, psychotherapist, and best-selling author Alice Miller has received, throughout her long and distinguished career, countless personal letters from readers all over the world. In From Rage to Courage, Dr. Miller has assembled the most recent, producing an insightful work that illuminates the issues and consequences of childhood abuse. Whether exploring the connection between repressed anger and physical illnesses like cancer, the reasons why many survivors of abuse turn to drugs or crime, or the cycle that condemns generations of families to cruelty in childhood, Dr. Miller’s answers are sensitive, honest, and supported by decades of experience. Unafraid of controversy, she discusses much-debated theories such as the impact of religious belief on the cultural traditions of child abuse and the therapeutic community’s denial of the truth and dependency on antidepressants. A practical guide to Dr. Miller’s unique therapeutic concept, this work once again affirms the healing and liberating power of retrieved emotions.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help

208 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Alice Miller was a Polish-Swiss psychologist, psychoanalyst and philosopher of Jewish origin, who is noted for her books on parental child abuse, translated into several languages. She was also a noted public intellectual.
Her book The Drama of the Gifted Child caused a sensation and became an international bestseller upon the English publication in 1981. Her views on the consequences of child abuse became highly influential. In her books she departed from psychoanalysis, charging it with being similar to the poisonous pedagogies.

Reviews

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

More amazing insights from Alice Miller, to whom I have been very grateful for assisting in healing from my childhood wounds. She clarifies the necessity of feeling our feelings from childhood memories so that the encapsulated rage of our inner child can be expressed and released. Here'a helpful quote: "Writing may help to say everything and to clear up your mind, but don't send the letter to your parents. You will not change them. Try to give as much affection as you can to the small child living in yourself who needs your understanding and your love. You have very good reasons to be outraged! But there is not any doubt: the rage will leave you once you fully understand its reasons and dare to act for your own benefit." Thank you to Alice Miller.

[Andrew Barnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a fan of Alice Miller, this book is a must. She gives clear, concise, and accurate answers to readers letters, which provide examples of concrete crystallization for her ideas. I have found myself being able to more confidently speak from the perspective of childhood pain in a way that is accessible to others and straight forward. I am grateful this book exists.

[Peter Schmitt · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read this because I was a fan of the last section of Drama. But...

Alzheimer’s = child abuse
Parkinson’s = child abuse
Arthritis = child abuse
Skin rash = child abuse
Allergies = child abuse
Telling kids Santa is real = a form of child abuse

Apparently there’s one answer to every question in the world of psychotherapy.

No thanks.

[Dorothy Nesbit · Rating 3 out of 5]

As an introduction to Miller's work, this would probably be a poor place to start. The book comprises (as per the title) responses to readers' letters without the letters themselves. They are in somewhat random order, too.

However, as part of my reading of Miller's oeuvre, I read this book and found it contained useful clarifications of her viewpoint, pointers to many resources available for free on her website (which is still maintained following her death), and also pointers for different readers to her books, which led me to order a book I have not yet read.

Above all, Miller is consistent in making the connection between abuse in childhood - ranging from practices (such as "spanking") which have been deemed as perfectly acceptable within living memory of many adults, all the way through to abuse which is illegal in many countries - and the impact on adult children of this abuse. As such, she is an important advocate for children, including in their subsequent adulthood, as well as someone who encouraged important changes of thinking and approach in the world of psychotherapy.

Our understanding of trauma and how to treat it is developing at rapid pace in the twenty-first century and I wonder how Miller's writings are viewed by contemporary specialists in the field (van der Kolk, Levine, Mate, Peyton, Porges, Schwartz and so on). In any case, it seems to me her work has an important place. This book offers a valuable contribution as part of her significant oeuvre.

[andrew y · Rating 1 out of 5]

15/50
In 2023 I am going to dust off and read fifty books from my to-read list.

Unfortunately this is both a nearly unreadable book and Miller at her absolute worst. Why it is unreadable: these are only responses to letters received via her website. Sometimes they quote the original letter but mostly you have to guess via context what she’s talking about. Some are just “sounds like you had a very traumatic upbringing.” Why it is bad thinking: I do not for one moment accept the idea that diseases like MS, Alzheimer’s, tumors of any kind, schizophrenia and more are solely caused by a denial of childhood trauma. I think that idea is dangerous and cruel and Miller pushes it harder than ever in these pages. I disagree with other parts of her thinking but can at least somewhat understand why it is being said (like her intense hatred for psychiatric medication) but to say a sick person is causing their illness, always? No.

[Yu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book follows up with Body Never Lies and Alice Miller's other books. Although this book is mainly answers to readers' letters as seen in the title, it is still one of the most profound and touching psychological books I read and perhaps could change your life the next.

Her casting doubts on authority, religion, and parents could indeed make sense for lots of people with repressed rage and emotions in their lives, however, it is important to have the self-reflecting ability as well as the courage to acknowledge and admit who we are, and what perhaps made us so. Denying is one of the easiest thing to do in the world, but to open eyes and see are difficult, to reflect as well.

Recommending this book for people who are entangled in parenthood repressive anger, feeling of un-feeling, etc.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's solipsistic that the author pronounces one grand theory to explain human suffering and mind/body stress: child abuse, neglect, and spanking. I appreciate her points that people don't let themselves feel the pain and anger at their betrayers, and religions can be damaging in the ways they promote forgiveness and unquestioned family unity. However, she overgeneralizes, i.e. telling readers that all manner of health issues will go away if they feel their feelings. This book, in particular, is an awkward, decontextualized read for only having her answers without the readers' questions. You can find her best points articulated better in many other people's works in psychology, therapy, child abuse, and the anti-domestic violence and sexual assault movement!

[Claire · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm sure the author is quite amazing, but a book of answers without the questions isn't quite cutting it for me. Still, I have become aware of the author and look forward to reading some other books such as the body doesn't lie. I expect to find that Alice's concepts are now part of mainstream thought.

[Mathilde Asuka · Rating 4 out of 5]

"[...] Les gens qui n'ont appris qu'à détruire et être détruits et pour qui la vie, la leur comme celle d'autrui, est haïssable et sans valeur."
Alice Miller knows her topic and she speaks freely about it. It's still a hard topic to speak about but it helps us understand a lot of things about life and education.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un parti pris pour l’enfant et l’explication de nombreux comportements traumatisants envers les enfants

[Lily Heron · Rating 2 out of 5]

Could be read as a decent refresher/appendix to Miller's work. Some powerful lines.

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book contains excerpts from letters that psychologist Alice Miller sent readers of her books. All told they are quite interesting and give some insight into her approach to psychology. However, one can find a more coherent narrative in her major works.

[Flat · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wished they had reproduced the readers' letters in the book.

[Jen]

Modern parenting can be rough on kids you guys! This book really made me think about how much I am fostering the soul of my child.

[AMH]

Terse, punchy, bold, and unflinchingly honest.