Project Everlasting: Two Bachelors Discover the Secrets of America's Greatest Marriages

by Mathew Boggs, Jason Alan Miller

Jaded by his parents' divorce and the countless marriages unraveling around him, Mathew Boggs was a young man who'd lost all belief in lifelong love. Roped into chauffeuring his grandma and dying grandfather on weekly adventures, he realized that, sixty-three years later, they were still madly in love."Now, that's the marriage I want!" he said to himself. Fired up to find more success stories, Mat talked his best friend, Jason Miller, a clueless commitmentphobe, into joining him on a cross-country search for America's greatest marriages, which they called "Project Everlasting." The two bumbling bachelors jumped in an RV and embarked on a 12,000-mile adventure, encompassing the beaches of Los Angeles, the skyscrapers of Manhattan, the bayous of Louisiana, and the mountains of Montana, to discover what it takes to make love last -- not from Ph.D.s or therapists but from more than 200 real couples who had walked the walk to more than forty years of marriage. In Project Everlasting , they share their wisdom. Each chapter is dedicated to one of the pressing quest ions the bachelors asked the couples, such The couples opened their hearts and homes to Mat and Jason to reveal intimate and authentic portraits of fulfilling marriage. Couples like the Byrds, in New Orleans, who lost nearly everything they owned in the devastation of Katrina -- except their love and commitment to each other. Or ninety-somethings Ruth and Eddie Elcott in Los Angeles, who spent the first two years of their marriage separated by World War II and the later years of their marriage reading their wartime love letters to each other at bedtime. Along the way, Mat and Jason began to understand why their own relationships hadn't worked out quite as planned. They also realized that what they were learning from their wise new friends could change everything for them and -- through Project Everlasting -- show their generation and generations to come how to build a marriage to last.

Genres: Nonfiction, Marriage, Self Help, Relationships

264 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

Reviews

[Meredith · Rating 4 out of 5]

So there IS hope for a lasting marriage in your future... We don't have to accept the same fate as our parents. I am not finished reading this book yet, but so far it's inspiring (with some humor), and it's not completely sappy. These are not necessarily the stories of couples with perfect marriages. These are the stories of couples with real - but successful/lasting - marriages. Many of these couples have faced some major challenges in their time together - but they had the strength and integrity to do something that most married couples don't seem inclined to do today - stick together, and weather the storm. This is a good book for anyone who has lost hope in the values and sanctity of marriage - be prepared to become a romantic again.

[Lo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is nice, but the title is misleading. It doesn't contain secrets to a successful marriage, but sweet and touching stories of couples who have been married a long time, along with their personal, common sense, intuitive advice for an enduring union. The authors even confess that the advice the marriage masters gave was much the same as the advice given by a man divorced multiple times and the young college student on his arm.
It's not something I would recommend, but it's not a waste of time either.

[Lien · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars:
Does it contain lots of visible secrets of Marriage? Not many of them at first sight. You get to read lots of enchanting, charming and sweet love stories, but in their stories you do find some unmistaken tips and advice for everlasting marriages. You have to look for them.
Such sweet romantic stories you get to read.
It's a book that you don't read rapidly. It needs time. Sometimes yoo put it away and you take it back a few weeks later when you're in a romantic mood..

[Walter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is excellent! If you are cynical about the prospect of lifelong love, it will restore your faith. If you are a romantic at heart, you will be thrilled because, indeed, the secrets to a long, happy marriage are contained herein. If you're not sure, well, by the end you will be, or you're probably just not capable of making a decision. In sum, this imminently readable guide is at once piercingly insightful and reassuringly heartening.

The premise of the book - two lovelorn bachelors travel the country talking to "Marriage Masters," couples who have been happily married for forty years or more, to identify the secrets to their marital success - is interesting and, for the most part, fun and effective.

Not to quibble too much, but, for example, the introduction of some minor story elements are timed for effect, which diminishes the carefully cultivated sense of earnestness somewhat. But, for the most part, the book flows nicely and the characters to whom it introduces us are inspiring and insightful. Most importantly, the book delivers on its promised premise ... and even though the revelations aren't revolutionary - the "secrets" are not new but they do reflect universal themes for mutually beneficial relationships - they are clear and supported by compelling stories.

So, if you're interested in finding lifelong love, this guide is for you. And, if you're cynical, this book may crack your hardened facade. If you're just looking for an enjoyable, insightful read and interested in the principles that support successful long-term relationships, Project Everlasting is for you....

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

The premise is simple. Two bachelors, scared of our nation’s high divorce rate, interview couples, “marriage masters,” who have been marriage 50+ years. The goal is to what great secrets the marriage masters possess about sustaining a successful relationship for a lifetime. The anecdotes of married couples are charming, emotional, and heartwarming but as the authors realize, there really are no “secrets,” just the few simple rules each of us already knows well. These include: preventing your partner’s idiosyncrasies from blinding you from his/her inner beauties, remembering that marriage like anything else needs attention and devotion to thrive, and respecting one another regardless of the challenge or argument. Given these guidelines, any marriage is destined to survive, as long as both individuals are willing to work through the difficult times and remind themselves that they once promised to do their best.

[Les · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read relationship books frequently. Sometimes they have good information, sometimes there's nothing I can use, sometimes they give just plain bad advice. But they usually are based on therapists' education, scientific studies, and human behavior models. I've never read one quite like this. Two young bachelors decide to take a road trip and interview marriage masters. They defined marriage masters as couples who have been married 40 or more years. The advise and information these lifelong partners have to give is real world stuff. None of these couples claimed an unending bed of roses. All of these couples stress the ebb and flow of love and passion. And all of them understand that a lifelong marriage is an ongoing project. It was a great book. I'd recommend it to anyone interested in the topic. These two bachelors, who wrote the book, learned a lot, and they passed on what they learned in language and anecdotes that are accessible and fun to read.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

What could two twenty something men possible have to teach on the institution of marriage? Based on being open-minded and willing to listen, it's safe to say quite a bit. It's a very quick read, but I was impressed that the couples selected for the book (known as "Marriage Masters") really had very different stories. The authors grouped them in such a way that they worked as a hole, while chronicling very honestly the challenges associated with travelling across the country with one's best friends. The stories were compelling, and I found myself choked up several times. I read this book on my honeymoon, but think it could be just as interesting for someone seeking "the one" or couples having a rough patch in their marriages

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

October has been my month of weddings (3 in 5 weekends) and this sweet book was a pleasure to read while waiting for my husband to finish up at one of the rehearsals. The prose isn't difficult at all, and the authors come across as a bit doofy as they interject their own stories and lessons, but it is the stories of the many couples who have loved and struggled over 40+ years that made this worthwhile.

The lessons are pretty much what you'd expect, namely that marriage is hard work, but the histories and lessons are told with such warmth and humor that it can't help but remind us why marriage is still something so many aspire to, and gives us hope that our own marriages may have that kind of staying power.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worth the read...especially in this time of discontent and giving up on marriage. Loved Mat's Grandma and her spunk and honesty...one of my favorite quotes comes from her, "There's no such thing as a perfect marriage, just perfect moments. Those moments, stacked side by side, fill your life. God gives us a limited number of days. Don't take them for granted, because boy does life go by fast."

Despite the heartfelt and sometimes tearful topic, there is enough humor and hope to keep you reading and mindful of the lessons they share. The advice isn't real complicated or new, just nice to read about others who actually lived their love, instead of just talking about it. Always nice to have examples that make you glad you're on the right path.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Two bachelors, one a die-hard romantic, one not, decide to set out on a road trip to learn from the "marriage masters". What they learn is surprising only to them. Marriage takes communication, respect, diligence. The butterflies of infatuation don't (and can't) last forever. Each chapter is introduced by one of the coauthors, then several couple's stories are shared that illustrate that main theme. The stories themselves are beautiful, inspiring, and (at times) tearjerking. The writing is not. Boggs and Miller are clearly trying to write descriptively but they fall short of great writing and land somewhere in an average muddle. Still, the stories are powerful enough to excuse the mediocre writing and the ignorance of the two authors.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Author Mathew Boggs spent time driving his grandma and dying grandpa on weekly adventures. He realized that he wanted a marriage like theirs. He talked his best friend Jason Miller into taking a cross-country tour to find super marriages and find the answers to everlasting love. Each chapter asks a question and several couples' story are told to answer it. The questions range from "How did you know you'd found the one" to "what's the secret to staying in love for a lifetime." Some of the couples seem to have found love early and had long, happy marriages. However, many of the couples talk about the struggles they survived. This book was good and had some good stories from couples of very differing backgrounds.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a romantic book, although it does not impart any truths that aren't universally known, even if everyone considered the advice to be a cliche. I enjoyed reading about all of the couples that had made it through some difficult times and how the enjoyable times really outnumbered the bad. The project was a cute idea by two bachelors as they toured the country interviewing couples who had been married for more than 40 years. I really did not enjoy reading about how difficult it is for people to cope when their loved one passes on. That was heart-breaking. This book will give you warm fuzzies and perhaps appreciate more the one you have!

[Kelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book - much more than I anticipated. It's basically a compilation of love stories from dozens of couples who have been married for 40 years or more. The stories are heart-warming, sometimes tear-jerking, and always uplifting. The compilers of these stories are two 28 year old bachelors who went on a year long road trip to discover the secrets of lasting love. The interject their own stories at the beginning of each chapter. It was fun to see their views change as they went along. It really was a sweet book.

[Liddy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Received this book for my 1-year wedding anniversary from my husband, came with a DVD. I'd skip the DVD, but the book was heartwarming and mind-boggling at the same time. To think that these couples have been through so much with each other in their 50+ years of marriage and are still together seems impossible. But then again, I love the challenge of "impossibles". Easy read. Cried my eyes out because of the last chapters. Like a chicken soup for the soul, although the fact that the stories are being said from the perspective of two bachelors is refreshing.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had heard about this book on the radio around the time we got engaged. I just found it so interesting that two 20-something guys would be interested in doing something like this! It intrigued me to consider nominating my grandparents, as they were married 60 years and sure could offer a lot of advice! It was fun to read all the accounts of grandparents just like mine and the fun they have and sometimes just the little bit of common sense advice that we so often forget in our relationships! It was an easy read, with a bunch of cute short stories on couples across America!

[Manal Saad · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not one of those relationships advice kind of books. On the contrary, it sheds the light on real couples whom are married for 25 and many more years. How they made their marriages last this long despite what might come across their paths. They shared the challenges they faced and what they did to keep their love spark going. It's very insightful and definitely serves as an excellent gift for newly weds. I'm thankful for my friend who gifted me this book. I enjoyed reading it and reflecting on it.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up after Jesse & Tiger cheated. I don't usually pay much attention to celebrity business, but their scandals were so unexpected and icky--Tiger with his 50 porno stars and Jesse with his "I am so f**ked" tears at the Oscars--that my already failing interest in marriage clutched its chest and died.

Having read this, I'm still not sure. But at least it does what it says on the box.

[Shelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across this at the library and I loved the concept: two bachelors perform case studies and interview couples to find the secret to success in marriage. The stories were the most poignant reminder that spouses are not perfect, but you learn how to appreciate one another and grow together.
My favorite story? Pg 66: "Learn Your Lesson, Then Teach It" Ruth and Eddie Elcott, Married 63 years. Absolutely touching...

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't normally read non-fiction, unless it's a juicy memoir/biography, but I promised someone very special to me that I would give this one a try. If you are contemplating marriage or looking for ideas about how to recharge an existing relationship you might find some inspiration in Project Everlasting. The main message is to hang in there - which of course make sense as long as you are hanging with someone worth it.

[Conchita Matson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. If you have been married for awhile I recommend you read this. It emphasized for me how important marriage is and how society has moved so far away from solid moral values. It also shows how far off the mark people's definition of marriage really is. I thought it was great that 2 bachelors took the time to listen to older people and want to be good husbands in the future.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

alas, another no-go in my quest to ascertain whether my aversion to being called "mrs." is normal. the silver lining: many a pleasant minute spent pondering who the heck picked up the pitch and the tab for this book and how i can get in touch with them to pitch my insane idea/crazy themed road trip.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book contains the true stories of many couples who have been married 40 years and above. I read this for a book review I did in my human development class, but it ended up really impacting me. It gives great wisdom and advice about having an everlasting marriage. I cried several times when I read this.

[Rhiannon Lawrence · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a cute look at many couples throughout the U.S. that have been married for many years. Two bachelors look at what makes couples last. I especially loved the couple who dance whenever they hear "their song" no matter what they are doing or where they are -- this inspired me and my lover and I have done the same.

[Keryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this book.. normally, I pick these books up to read and then never get to them. With this one, I laughed, I cried, and I truly enjoyed hearing the "simple" revelations that the married couples express. I want to buy this book and read it every year around my anniversary...

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not expect to like this as much as I did. Two young men tour the country interviewing senior couples to find the secrets of a marriage that lasts. For some reason, the stories really stuck with me. I was compelled to read, and interested. I made changes in the way I treated my spouse when I finished. Well worth the quick read.

[Annie Lee Sallee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book, written more in the form of short personal stories. I would recommend this to all newlyweds! In fact, I'm thinking of giving it as a gift to engaged friends! It has great insight into how people have survived 50+ years of marriage, happily!

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really sweet, When Harry Met Sally-esque book. The short stories were quick and easy to read, and left you with a warm fuzzy feeling and a desire to go and hug your grandparents. I don't know if I really learned any secrets to marriage, but it was worth the read nonetheless.

[Heather Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two bachelors interviewing "Marriage Masters" for their secrets to still being in love after decades of marriage. Fantastic. Heart warming. Reality check. Solid truths.

Best laugh out loud moment in the book has to do with a special interview at a swimmin' hole!

[Lydia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very sweet book filled with stories that will inspire the reader. A happy, loving marriage is a collage of happy, loving memories -- not one lifelong pleasure ride. These couples illuminate the power of being positive, connected, respectful, and loving toward your partner.

[Janet Abbott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read about 2 bachelors going across the country interviewing long time married couples about their long marriages and looking for the secrets to a long, healthy relationship. I enjoyed reading the mini stories of the couples!!