Women and Self-Esteem: Understanding and Improving the Way We Think and Feel AboutOurselves

by Linda Tschirhart Sanford, Mary Ellen Donovan

This comprehensive look at the debilitating effects of low self-esteem offers self-help exercises for rediscovering self-worth for happier living

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Womens, Feminism, Mental Health, Personal Growth

Paperback

First published May 1, 1984

About the author

Linda T. (Lynn) Sanford, LICSW is a licensed independent clinical social worker who began her career working with victims of sexual assault. She has also worked for twenty years with youth who have been convicted of crimes against people (homicide, attempted homicide, and multiple sexual assaults).

Sanford has also taught at various graduate schools of social work in Massachusetts, achieving the rank of Professor of Practice in 2009.

She is the author of Strong at the Broken Places: Building Resiliency in the Lives of Survivors (1990, 2004) and The Silent Children (1980). Sanford is also co-author of Women and Self-Esteem (1984) and In Defense of Ourselves (1978).

Sanford currently works as a Military Family Life Consultant on Marine Corps Air Station at Iwakuni, Japan. She has also recently worked with children whose parents were deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq at Ramstein Air Base in Germany and Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson in Alaska.

In 2010, Sanford was an invited speaker to the American Society of Child Abuse Professionals National Conference speaking to civilians and officers in the Air Force Medical Wing on resiliency as they developed the Air Force Comprehensive Airmen Fitness Program.

Sanford received the Massachusetts National Association of Social Workers "Outstanding Contribution to Social Work Practice Award" and the Devereux Foundation "Legacy of Caring Award" in 2010.

Reviews

[Joy H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Added 6/11/09

Edit - 4/6/13:
This is the book which originally put me on the right track about the true meaning of self-esteem. It's one of the favorite books which I have on my bookshelf at home.

A friend gave this book to me in the early 1990s and I found it very helpful. IIRC, it's where I got the idea that good self-esteem includes accepting ourselves by giving ourselves credit for our strengths and accepting our limitations once we've done our best. In a nutshell, it's just being ourselves.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Sigh* Its a little depressing to read through all the possible problems that women with low self esteem have and feel like I have almost all of them. That said, this was a very helpful book for me, although I wouldn't say it dramatically improved my self esteem. Unfortunately, that's something that will take a lot longer than it took to read this book.

[Anita · Rating 2 out of 5]

After reading this book for one of my book club meetings, I was largely unimpressed with it. While the book does have some good suggestions for addressing low self esteem, virtually all of the book could apply to either gender. Much of the book struck me as obvious and extremely dated.

[Marianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good stuff if you can get past the feminist propaganda.

[Jean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another favorite in my self-help library. I had never before had realized the difference and the links between self-concept and self-esteem.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a woman who struggled (struggles) with self-esteem issues, this book was a real eye opener for me. Very helpful and insightful.

[Jessie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well-written, expertly researched and presented with openness and honesty. The book covers many areas: home, hospital, public arena, workplace, church, etc. This is a scholarly work and not to be read quickly, as there are a number of complex issues to read and digest. Worth the read!

[April Daniels · Rating 4 out of 5]

Presented as a "Resource for Further Reading" in both the 1992 and 1993 editions of Paperdolls: Healing from Sexual Abuse in Mormon Neighborhoods.

[Eileen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Intelligent if verbose. Took too long to read compared to the actual value I extracted from it. Read a lot of things I already knew. If you have been reading self-help for some time, this book is not really worth reading. Not horrible, just not much new knowledge.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Even though this book was published back in the 1980s before I was born, I could still relate to some of the issues in this book. It's very well researched, and a great starting point for women who want to improve their self-esteem. One can read through the chapters and then go to the notes section for more information. They quote a substantial amount of material, and sometimes the quotes can be a little overbearing. That being said most of their research comes from the humanities and lacks hard science articles. I mean that there is a lack of research articles from peer reviewed journals. Rather most quotes come from books, magazine/newspaper articles, and their own self-esteem groups.

The authors have addressed major aspects of women's life where they suffer the most in their self-esteem, including immediate families, relationships, religion, school, jobs, and sexuality. Some women may have more concern with one or two topics rather than all of them. After each chapter, there are Blueprints for Change" sections that have questions designed to encourage one to think about where her low self-esteem pattern comes from.

I think this book could have been framed in a better way. The first 3 sections talk about where women have historically had low self-esteem, and section 4 discusses how to deal with low self-esteem in a more detailed way. If the authors had framed the first 3 sections on the history of low self-esteem in women, it may have more relevance. Instead, they seem to make generalizations and assume that women are still going through these issues. They may or may not be. It depends on their life experiences.

The authors do their best to breach race, class, religious, and sexual orientation lines, which is probably why the book is so huge. However, most of the information probably pertains to heterosexual, middle-class, white women. Please don't misunderstand me though. They still do talk about race, religion, and sexuality, but they discuss how those things are different from the norm and there is less information on these things probably because there is less research on these topics. The authors do talk more about these topics than other books tend to do.

I don't think this book is particularly helpful in improving self-esteem and one's life, but I do think it's a good starting point to get one's thinking jumpstarted into gear.

[Sarah Sammis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sometimes books I would normally not read fall into my possession and I feel compelled to read them before I release them through BookCrossing. Women & Self-Esteem: Understanding and Improving the Way We Think and Feel About Ourselves is one of those books.

As the title suggests, this thick volume from 1984 begins with the thesis that poor self-esteem goes hand in hand with being a woman. Men are so favored over women that there is nowhere but down for our egos to go. While I certainly know women (and men) with poor self-esteem, I mostly read this book as an outsider looking in. I have not experienced the put downs and other negativity described in the book.

The book is divided into four sections: Making the Connections; Close To Home, Close to the Heart; Far From Home, Far From at Home; The High Costs of Low Self-Esteem. The first part defines the terms used in the book and states the bleak thesis. Part two looks at how families contribute to the problem. Part three looks at outside forces that contribute to the problem (religion, education, work, entertainment, being in public). The final section looks at how low self-esteem gets in the way of day to day living.

If you are a woman with self-esteem problems or know a woman with these problems, the book might help. Otherwise it's a long winded strange look at one piece of psychology.

[Marianne Mullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book for how it addresses all the areas in a woman's life that affects her self esteem. I have read this book at least three times in my life and each time find value and insight into myself and my world. I think the title can be one that will put some off but it is a self-help book that really teaches you to think about who you are and why you are the person you have become. The questions and exercises are valuable and insightful. I plan to reread this book over the course of my life a number of times. I wish the authors would come out with a newer version that addresses many modern topics women are facing.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book. I thought it was well-researched and offered good insight and practical tools to improving one's self-esteem. I recommend this book often to others.

[Fatima]

from Wellesley College

[Meredith · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book made some interesting points. Some of the points, especially on the third disc, struck me as either obvious or corny. Not sure I would recommend it.

[Susan]

Long ago.
Only comments "excellent. occas dated"

[Shaina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Its old. This book is nearly ancient but I had to read it for school and its not too shabby.

[Danni · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book. Some of it I agreed with some of it I did not.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this to see if it could help my teenage daughter. It is not for that age group. I continued thinking maybe it would guide me in interactions to help her. This book comments constantly about how badly parents can screw up someone's life, but doesn't give ways to avoid this. Minimal suggestions from this book will be used by myself and passed to my daughter.