Mother's Book

by Lydia Maria Child

Child's 1831 book on childhood and motherhood, with its "plain, practical good-sense, written with earnestness and simplicity of style," offers chapters on Early Cultivation of Intellect, Amusements and Employments, Politeness, Management during the Teens, and Views of Matrimony. This facsimile edition was published in cooperation with Old Sturbridge Village.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, History, Self Help

184 pages, Hardcover

First published December 12, 1989

About the author

Lydia Maria Child (1802-1880) was an activist and writer of novels, pamphlets, and works for children. She often used her writing to advocate for slaves, women, and Native Americans. Lydia Maria Child was born in Medford, Massachusetts, where her grandfather’s house, which she celebrates in her poem, still stands.

Reviews

[Sophia Hanson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up at a souvenir shop in Harper's Ferry, WV, expecting to be amused by quirky outdated parenting advice. Instead, I was captivated by Lydia Maria Francis Child's gentle voice. Reading this book felt like having a chat with my granny in her kitchen, laughing at her sometimes bizarre anecdotes while gleaning ancient wisdom.

[Cole Ramirez · Rating 2 out of 5]

I chose Mother's Book because it was recommended by Elisabeth Elliot, but frankly I'm not sure why! I do love a good old-fashioned parenting book and this one certainly fits the bill (having been written in 1831) but I can't say I learned much from it. I didn't care for the style - Child moved from topic to topic with no clear break - more like she was speaking than writing. I did pick up a few new terms, which was fun (she uses "teasing" as we do "whining" and clearly "slut" had an entirely different meaning 200 years ago). And her advice isn't bad - it's just part obvious and part dated. She takes a wishy-washy stance on spanking, which surprised me only because Elisabeth Elliot was a clear proponent.

There was an entire chapter on stimulating the intellect and instilling a love of reading in children, which I did enjoy and appreciate. I so much want my kids to love reading as adults and it's encouraging to hear that I probably have some control over that. And toward the end of the book she made the suggestion to teach and force kids to keep detailed, written records of expenses from an early age. From the very first time they start spending money they should be writing down where it goes. By 12, she says, they should be in charge of a yearly budget for themselves (for things like clothing, hygiene products, gifts, outings, lessons, etc.).

Overall it was just "meh". Can't say I would recommend.

[Janelle F · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book at a museum store mainly to laugh at it. I thought it would have lots of overly-strict punishments or weird tonics made of onions and mercury or something like that. It’s actually full of the most gentle and kind parenting advice, and after skimming it briefly in the store, I bought it. It very calmly discusses only the psychological aspects of parenting: it stresses patience and gentleness (when you can’t take a crying infant anymore, take a deep breath and make a short prayer), how to handle a temper tantrum (pick the child up so you are on the same level, look into their eyes while you gently wash their face and brush their hair), how to handle constant questions (Answer them when you can, and when you are busy with other things, say they must wait, but make sure to keep your promise and attend to the question later when you can. A child whose needs are met will wait patiently.) — and so on. Overall, practical advice on gentle parenting from an era when having children was just part of life, with no focus on growing the perfect “superbaby”. Many books now seem to focus on getting baby to a rigorous schedule or developmental milestones, but this is just a sweet book on helping your children grow into useful, kind adults. I really enjoyed this book and I re-read it often.

[Jessi · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know what? I enjoyed this book! If you’ve ever wanted parenting advice from the year of our lord 1831, this is the book for you! Mrs Child gives her readers solid 19th century advice on every aspect of child rearing from birth through marriage. She touch’s on a wide range of topics including nurturing, education, religion, and even the perfect way to go about giving the sex talk.
It’s amusing to read this book from a 21st century prospective. This book contains some good, solid insights like, “Nothing can be more selfish than to run away from those who are suffering, merely because the sight is painful.” And, “It is a great mistake to think that education is finished when young people leave school. Education is never finished. Half of the character is formed after we cease to learn lessons from books.”
That inspiration is, of course, balanced out with things like: “Music has likewise a cheerful influence, and greatly tends to produce refinement of taste. It has a salutary effect for whole families to unite in singing before retiring to rest; or at any other time, when it is pleasant and convenient.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had any inclination to sing with my family before bed. Just picture getting everyone together to sing Lose Yourself by Eminem or something. Good times! 👨‍👩‍👦👩‍👩‍👦👨‍👨‍👦👩‍👦‍👦👨‍👦‍👦

[Anete Ābola · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was interesting to read through it, and I saved a few quotes like:
"The reward is IN keeping the Commandments, not FOR keeping them."
"The first rule in education - a mother must govern her own feelings and keep her heart and conscience pure."
"Do not motivate with: what others will think of you (good or bad)? Motivate with: God is very good to us; shouldn't we be good towards others?"

[Sandy Dubois · Rating 5 out of 5]

As another reader stated, I felt like I was having a conversation with a grandmother or more like a great grandmother. She gave sound advice which we desperately need in today's managing of child rearing, household chores and self management too. I recommend, reading her other books.

[Crystal Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on mothering

[Madeline · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good. Must read. They had it all figured out in 1831! No more parenting books ever needed to be written! I loved it.

[Taylor Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

We often assume that books from earlier eras offer outdated advice, expecting them to reflect rigid traditions where women lacked agency and societal hierarchies limited progressive thought. However, Lydia Maria Child’s The Mother’s Book challenges these assumptions, reminding us that the reality was far more nuanced. Women like Child, excluded from many public roles beyond education and caregiving, channeled their intellect into works like this, offering wisdom that remains relevant today.

Child advocates for raising daughters with meaningful pursuits beyond romance, writing: “The great art of promoting moral health is to provide agreeable occupation for the mind.” She urges parents to teach their children that life holds more than just marriage and encourages empathy for those less fortunate: “Teach your children that it is as much a duty to feel kindly towards the poor and ignorant as it is to speak respectfully to the rich and learned.”

At the same time, her advice is rooted in the importance of structure and discipline: “Method and regularity are the secret of all good management.” One can’t help but wonder if Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life was inspired by these same principles of order and personal responsibility.

For new parents, The Mother’s Book makes an excellent bedside companion. Child’s insights provide practical strategies for parenting with less guilt and more confidence, empowering readers to believe they are doing the right thing. Her wisdom transcends centuries, offering a thoughtful approach to raising children that blends empathy with structure—values that remain just as essential today.

[Fei K · Rating 4 out of 5]

I originally picked up this book when visiting Old Sturbridge Village. It was on the table in one of those little colonial houses, and I flipped through it and put it down. Recently I was reading some modern parenting books, and this book popped into my mind. I decided to look it up and ended up reading the whole thing.

I find it fascinating how although we think otherwise, very little has changed in the course of history regarding parenting children. Although people perceive parenting as being something completely different now from then, the principles that are being pushed now are basically the same as the ones implemented then. Principles such as "practice what you preach," logical consequences over punishments, consistency and others are all the same, then and now. Just a thought I had when reading this book.

Mrs. Child gives so much advice that seems so modern-day! Gentleness and kindness are a constant theme in the book, which I love, considering that parents of that era are considered to have been very strict and uptight.

The book itself is interesting in a historical way, as it teaches much about society and values in those days. I would not use this alone as a parenting guide, but in conjunction with other more recent publications, this has useful points and lessons for parents and educators.

[Alaina Enns · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give this book five stars for the amount of wisdom Mrs. Child has! Sure some things are outdated and do not apply to us in year 2019, but overall I have gleaned so much from this book and highly recommend it to other mothers! Mrs. Child gives advice on a variety of topics and for different ages of children. From balancing calmness and excitement in an infant's environment to helping teens develop their unique gifts, this book has given me tons to think about. I particularly liked the chapter on politeness, reminding of the importance of little kindnesses and explaining the difference between bashfulness and simply being quiet. Also, she talks of not expecting a child to be self-controlled if the mother is not, which is a great reminder to first check my heart and lead by example instead of simply having rules. I believe this book will be one I read a couple of times during my years of motherhood.

[Rebekah]

Recommended by Elisabeth Elliot.