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Tortoise Interruptus
Cursed by an impatient witch to turn into a tortoise at inopportune moments, Tip is horrified to find himself tortoise-napped by a customer at the cafe where he works.
Things start to look up when Tip ends up very literally in the capable hands of drop-dead gorgeous Steve -- but Tip soon begins to wonder just how far he can trust Steve, who turns out to have a close connection with his kidnapper. Tip's attempts at a normal life seem doomed to remain frustrated in more ways than one!
Things start to look up when Tip ends up very literally in the capable hands of drop-dead gorgeous Steve -- but Tip soon begins to wonder just how far he can trust Steve, who turns out to have a close connection with his kidnapper. Tip's attempts at a normal life seem doomed to remain frustrated in more ways than one!
39 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 1, 2011
6 people are currently reading
145 people want to read
About the author
J.L. Merrow
145 books1,321 followersJL Merrow is that rare beast, an English person who refuses to drink tea. She read Natural Sciences at Cambridge, where she learned many things, chief amongst which was that she never wanted to see the inside of a lab ever again. Her one regret is that she never mastered the ability of punting one-handed whilst holding a glass of champagne.
She writes across genres, with a preference for contemporary gay romance and the paranormal, and is frequently accused of humour. Her novella Muscling Through was a 2013 EPIC Award finalist, and her novel Slam! won the 2013 Rainbow Award for Best LGBT Romantic Comedy. Her novel Relief Valve is a finalist in the 2015 EPIC Awards.
JL Merrow is a member of the UK GLBTQ Fiction Meet organising team.
Find JL Merrow online at: www.jlmerrow.com, on Twitter as @jlmerrow, and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jl.merrow
She writes across genres, with a preference for contemporary gay romance and the paranormal, and is frequently accused of humour. Her novella Muscling Through was a 2013 EPIC Award finalist, and her novel Slam! won the 2013 Rainbow Award for Best LGBT Romantic Comedy. Her novel Relief Valve is a finalist in the 2015 EPIC Awards.
JL Merrow is a member of the UK GLBTQ Fiction Meet organising team.
Find JL Merrow online at: www.jlmerrow.com, on Twitter as @jlmerrow, and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/jl.merrow
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
June 26, 2011
This was soooo laugh-out-loud funny!
Poor little Tip gets cursed by a looney witch and frequently/unexpectedly shapeshifts into a tortoise. Not only that, then he gets tortoise-napped by another looney witch!! Luckily, hunky non-witch Steve is there to rescue him.
This was a really cute story and will take less than an hour to read!!
Here are a few funny quotes:
Poor little Tip gets cursed by a looney witch and frequently/unexpectedly shapeshifts into a tortoise. Not only that, then he gets tortoise-napped by another looney witch!! Luckily, hunky non-witch Steve is there to rescue him.
This was a really cute story and will take less than an hour to read!!
Here are a few funny quotes:
"Please don't eat me! Eat my sister, she's muchfatter than I am!"
"And okay, Steve had just asked him out for lunch, but Tip had found to his chagrin that wanting lunch with a bloke and wanting rampant mansex with him were two very different things. The fact that he was wearing this guy's clothes would probably make it worse...
"He barely retained enough presence of mind not to hump Steve's leg like a randy Jack Russell, especially when he felt Steve's erection boring into his belly like it was drilling for oil.
""Um, you know how your Aunty June's a witch? And your Aunty May, too? So does that mean you're a, a man-witch?" Steve grinned. "You make me sound like a particularly meaty baguette—it's not just a sandwich, it's a man-wich."
April 10, 2011
Sweet and funny -- the title alone made me giggle, and poor Tip's adventures ping-pong from silly to sillier. Anyone who becomes a tortoise at irregular intervals and for unknown lengths of time is going to burn out his ability to blush -- or wish he could. From musings on the sensation of switching form, which Tip fears makes him look foolish, to the hazards faced by the suddenly six-inch tall, mute, and unable to jump, this story made me laugh out loud every few paragraphs.
Vertical space has a different meaning to the suddenly be-carapaced -- Tip gets shoved into a handbag willy-nilly, faced with the equally awful prospects of changing back with only a coin purse for a possible fig-leaf, or not changing back, to be carried miles from his home, clothing, and only semi-sympathetic family. Fortunately, Tip encounters Steve, with similar reading tastes and a certain empathy for Tip's plight, and perfectly gorgeous to boot.
Long on humor, perfect on romance, this short story is a lovely pick-me-up for a sour mood. If Steve and Tip get further adventures, I want to be first in line.
Vertical space has a different meaning to the suddenly be-carapaced -- Tip gets shoved into a handbag willy-nilly, faced with the equally awful prospects of changing back with only a coin purse for a possible fig-leaf, or not changing back, to be carried miles from his home, clothing, and only semi-sympathetic family. Fortunately, Tip encounters Steve, with similar reading tastes and a certain empathy for Tip's plight, and perfectly gorgeous to boot.
Long on humor, perfect on romance, this short story is a lovely pick-me-up for a sour mood. If Steve and Tip get further adventures, I want to be first in line.
April 9, 2011
I just loved this one, it was adorable
July 29, 2018
Adorable is the perfect word to describe this short story. From the idea of tortoise-shifter (I know, it's uncommon, but you cannot deny that tortoise is an adorable pet :p) to tortoise-napping to the need of having normal relationship (as normal as a tortoise-shifter can!) just screams adorable for me.
I must say that I tip (no pun intended!) my head of to Tip, he manages to deal with his curse pretty well. Considering the animal that he is forced to shift to; he doesn't become suicidal or revengeful to the witch *hugs Tip*. I genuinely hope that Tip and Steve will find a way to GO all the way and be happily ever after ...
I must say that I tip (no pun intended!) my head of to Tip, he manages to deal with his curse pretty well. Considering the animal that he is forced to shift to; he doesn't become suicidal or revengeful to the witch *hugs Tip*. I genuinely hope that Tip and Steve will find a way to GO all the way and be happily ever after ...
April 12, 2011
This one was super cute. I really loved it. It's short and sweet and funny. Just thinking about Tip shifting into a tortoise should give you a good clue on how cute this must be. I mean, a tortoise, really? I loved the fact that it was a different shifter than the usual ones and with a curse to boot! Of course, the story was made even better when Tip was kidnapped as a tortoise and the witch's nephew that cursed Tip enters the picture. Definitely recommended if you are looking for something to cheer you up after an emotional read. ;-P
April 20, 2017
Tortoise Interruptus
BY JL Merrow
JMS Books, 2017
Four stars
I am a big Merrow fan, and this was a sweet, wry, clever delight. But, like most short fiction, it left me rather dissatisfied, because the whole idea (an involuntary shape-shifter, cursed by a cranky old witch for irritating her) is amusing and could be spun into a full-length book of adventure and romance.
Tarquin Tiptree (see, only the British have really wonderful bizarre names…and this from someone named Ulysses) is a bit of a type—sweet, small, pretty, almost girlish. It should irritate me, because it’s such a trope in m/m fiction. But of course I happen to find sweet, pretty, small men very appealing, so I’m willing to set aside my manly aggressions and just go with it. But I would love to see Tip become a hero in his own right, and to do something with his tortoise curse other than be amusing and helpless. Steve, the big gorgeous masculine guy who “rescues” him (it’s a surprisingly convoluted plot for a short story) could stand being taken down a peg or two, and I’d have loved to see Tip do it (in more than one way, because interruptus is a key word here).
Merrow is a wonderful writer, and manages to infuse magical elements into her otherwise small-town UK narratives in a way that I find utterly engaging. I look forward to everything she writes.
BY JL Merrow
JMS Books, 2017
Four stars
I am a big Merrow fan, and this was a sweet, wry, clever delight. But, like most short fiction, it left me rather dissatisfied, because the whole idea (an involuntary shape-shifter, cursed by a cranky old witch for irritating her) is amusing and could be spun into a full-length book of adventure and romance.
Tarquin Tiptree (see, only the British have really wonderful bizarre names…and this from someone named Ulysses) is a bit of a type—sweet, small, pretty, almost girlish. It should irritate me, because it’s such a trope in m/m fiction. But of course I happen to find sweet, pretty, small men very appealing, so I’m willing to set aside my manly aggressions and just go with it. But I would love to see Tip become a hero in his own right, and to do something with his tortoise curse other than be amusing and helpless. Steve, the big gorgeous masculine guy who “rescues” him (it’s a surprisingly convoluted plot for a short story) could stand being taken down a peg or two, and I’d have loved to see Tip do it (in more than one way, because interruptus is a key word here).
Merrow is a wonderful writer, and manages to infuse magical elements into her otherwise small-town UK narratives in a way that I find utterly engaging. I look forward to everything she writes.
March 13, 2011
How could I resist a title like that? Or a tortoise shapeshifter?
It was well worth reading. Very funny and entertaining. I'm hoping for more about them - there are important questions to be answered. Does Tip hibernate in either form? Will they get past the second part of the very apt title?
It was well worth reading. Very funny and entertaining. I'm hoping for more about them - there are important questions to be answered. Does Tip hibernate in either form? Will they get past the second part of the very apt title?
October 16, 2018
This little story was so cute but do I feel sorry for Tip. Bless his heart. He gets cursed and everyone seems to think it's funny. He can't seem to catch a break. At least his curse is something cute
June 3, 2017
Deeena said it best... First time I've ever been disappointed by a Merrow story. It was fine, until the end. I hated the end.
August 25, 2011
I adore JL Merrow’s sense of humor and Tortoise Interruptus is no different. The story is short, sweet, incredibly witty, and laugh out loud funny in parts. This is a great story for fans of Merrow’s as well as though new to the author. This is short enough to satisfy while giving a glimpse of the author’s trademark sense of humor. In fact it’s rare to read a story of JL Merrow’s that isn’t quite enjoyable and funny. So TI fits very well with her backlist and is an easy story to recommend.
The plot is pretty basic with a great set up. Tip is a man with a problem – he randomly turns into a turtle with little to no warning. He’s been cursed by an impatient witch after lingering in her shop. He also has no way of knowing how long he’ll be a turtle each time he turns; it could be minutes or days. This is especially hard on his dating life. That’s the last thing on Tip’s mind though when he’s turtle-napped by an old lady.
The story is very entertaining and humorous from start to finish. It’s pretty short, easy to read in one sitting, and sucks you in from the very beginning. Watching and listening to Tip’s thoughts as a turtle is pretty funny and there are several laugh out loud moments. Whether it’s from being turtle-napped to trying to make it with a hot guy, Tip’s life is anything but boring. The writing is very good and filled with a lot of sly references and witty rejoiners. The characters are filled with a sense of humor on their own and you can’t help but identify with the cast. They’re just adorable and wonderfully depicted.
If there’s a slight hitch, it’s only that the love interest Steve is a bit too perfect. He seems to be grinning and smiling constantly, which made me wonder what kind of drugs he was on. Tip obviously was into him and they have definite chemistry but I’ll admit I wasn’t disappointed at the lack of sex scenes. Instead the multiple interruptions worked beautifully and I wouldn’t have wanted the story any other way. Not to mention the last line of the story is simply fabulous.
The plot is pretty basic with a great set up. Tip is a man with a problem – he randomly turns into a turtle with little to no warning. He’s been cursed by an impatient witch after lingering in her shop. He also has no way of knowing how long he’ll be a turtle each time he turns; it could be minutes or days. This is especially hard on his dating life. That’s the last thing on Tip’s mind though when he’s turtle-napped by an old lady.
The story is very entertaining and humorous from start to finish. It’s pretty short, easy to read in one sitting, and sucks you in from the very beginning. Watching and listening to Tip’s thoughts as a turtle is pretty funny and there are several laugh out loud moments. Whether it’s from being turtle-napped to trying to make it with a hot guy, Tip’s life is anything but boring. The writing is very good and filled with a lot of sly references and witty rejoiners. The characters are filled with a sense of humor on their own and you can’t help but identify with the cast. They’re just adorable and wonderfully depicted.
If there’s a slight hitch, it’s only that the love interest Steve is a bit too perfect. He seems to be grinning and smiling constantly, which made me wonder what kind of drugs he was on. Tip obviously was into him and they have definite chemistry but I’ll admit I wasn’t disappointed at the lack of sex scenes. Instead the multiple interruptions worked beautifully and I wouldn’t have wanted the story any other way. Not to mention the last line of the story is simply fabulous.
August 23, 2019
Tortoise Interruptus stars Tip who is turned into a tortoise from a curse, and Steve, who finds Tip naked in his hotel room. The story is told in third person from Tip’s pov.
February 1, 2013
Alright, so that was... ok, I guess. It was a pretty silly and fun idea which is cool. A tortoise-shapeshifter - I just had to read this! The story itself, though, was not really my cup of tea. I usually love J.L. Merrow stories, so I was disappointed by this one.
I love good, light-hearted, funny stories, but Tortoise Interruptus just felt substance-less to me and I couldn't make myself like the characters at all. So there was this hot guy Steve who kind of annoyed me, because he didn't seem to take Tip seriously at all. And what was it with that line at the end? Are you serious? Tip on the other hand just seemed like a big pushover. Not to talk about the rest of the rather annoying cast, starting with Mrs. Helpful over to Janey ending with Aunty June.
Thanks to J.L. Merrow's writing style it wasn't a total waste of time and money but I'm afraid I'd rather recommend not reading it.
I love good, light-hearted, funny stories, but Tortoise Interruptus just felt substance-less to me and I couldn't make myself like the characters at all. So there was this hot guy Steve who kind of annoyed me, because he didn't seem to take Tip seriously at all. And what was it with that line at the end? Are you serious? Tip on the other hand just seemed like a big pushover. Not to talk about the rest of the rather annoying cast, starting with Mrs. Helpful over to Janey ending with Aunty June.
Thanks to J.L. Merrow's writing style it wasn't a total waste of time and money but I'm afraid I'd rather recommend not reading it.
January 1, 2012
I loved the not-so-common type of shifter that the MC Tip (for his surname Tiptree, not his first name Tarpin--how cute is that?) is in this story. The story is a little slow-moving, but so is Tip in turtle-form, so I found that appropriate! At less than 40 pages, there was plenty of cuteness as well as decent male action with Steve. I would recommend this short story to those who want something a little different.
May 26, 2011
This short story is funny, I admit, but really to use a characters like this is really no fun for him.
January 1, 2012
A short easy read. Strong start, definitely funny, very unusual, but the ending kinda creeped me out LOL.
Great as an inbetween read when u need a break from reality.
Great as an inbetween read when u need a break from reality.
February 17, 2013
A silly, insubstantial fairy tale complete with witches and a perfect cardboard cut-out Prince Charming.
September 20, 2018
An interesting concept, the story of a shifter, shifting to a non-traditional type of animal. There was not a muscular, strappy werewolf in sight. However, Tip the tortoise shifter was a bit of a miss for me. I never warmed up to him, and I found Steve, the non-witch, kind of annoying. Not my cup of tea, but I am sure other readers would love it.
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June 16, 2023Tip has been cursed by a witch to turn into a tortoise, mostly at inopportune times. He is tortoise-napped by a little old lady. Trying to escape her, he finds the most exquisite man ever who reads the same authors. Will he run when Tip turns into a human? Why was he tortoise-napped?
I enjoyed this short story. It was funny. I would like to see it developed into a longer tale or this be the prequel to a novel on Tip and Steve. It was sweet. Poor Tip! He is lost as to what happens to him and when. He knows the why. I liked Steve trying to reassure Tip as to why he was tortoist-napped. This story made me feel good and that's okay for a rainy day.
I enjoyed this short story. It was funny. I would like to see it developed into a longer tale or this be the prequel to a novel on Tip and Steve. It was sweet. Poor Tip! He is lost as to what happens to him and when. He knows the why. I liked Steve trying to reassure Tip as to why he was tortoist-napped. This story made me feel good and that's okay for a rainy day.
June 9, 2023
3.5 stars. Ridiculous story about a tortoise-cursed Tip who gets kidnapped and cockblocked a lot. It's a funny short, so funny that I forgive the last sentence. Oh man, what a weird ride. With some more length and development to the romantic relationship I could've gone higher.
January 29, 2017
First time I've ever been disappointed by a Merrow story. It was fine, until the end. I hated the end.
January 20, 2018
Its quirky, sexy and the funniest thing I've read in ages.
Needs to be read, but be warned, its very British!
Needs to be read, but be warned, its very British!
September 19, 2018
Cute short, but I think I would have liked it more if it had taken a little longer developing things between Steve and Tip. Ah well.
August 23, 2019
Cute, funny, short paranormal romance.
April 22, 2020
Cute and had Merrows trademark humor, I just wasn’t a fan of the ending. It weirded me out.
February 13, 2017
Beautiful shapeshifting crack
February 25, 2017
short, sweet, and funny. who doesn't love an MC who has tortoise troubles?
February 28, 2017
A Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words Review An Alisa Review:
Rating: 3 stars out of 5
What a sweet and funny story. Tip has been dealing with the fact that he can turn into a tortoise at any time after he was cursed by a witch. It has really put a damper on his ability to live his life since he never has more than a few minutes notice.
We see Tip’s complete frustration at his situation and knowing there is nothing he can do about it. When he changes back right in front of Steve he can’t believe his luck that the handsome man would want him. Steve doesn’t care about the curse and is willing to be patient if it gets in the way, which it like a breath of fresh air to Tip’s most recent dating experiences.
The cover art by Written Ink Designs is cute and catches your eye.
Rating: 3 stars out of 5
What a sweet and funny story. Tip has been dealing with the fact that he can turn into a tortoise at any time after he was cursed by a witch. It has really put a damper on his ability to live his life since he never has more than a few minutes notice.
We see Tip’s complete frustration at his situation and knowing there is nothing he can do about it. When he changes back right in front of Steve he can’t believe his luck that the handsome man would want him. Steve doesn’t care about the curse and is willing to be patient if it gets in the way, which it like a breath of fresh air to Tip’s most recent dating experiences.
The cover art by Written Ink Designs is cute and catches your eye.
April 15, 2011
Jen did a great review of this at BER, but I had to do it here. Tip has a bit of a problem. After being cursed by a cranky witch, he periodically turns into a tortoise with little warning. It annoys his sister to no end, but she takes care of him and one day puts him out front of her restaurant so he can get some sun. He is soon Tortoise-napped by a kind woman who takes him to her hotel. He manages to escape, after spending the night in the bathtub, and ends up in the room of a hot guy. Seems hot guy and the old lady were looking for him as they are going to try and get him uncursed, it was Steve's aunt who cursed him. Tip changes back and they manage to find the crazy aunt and she uncurses him. Then you just hope it took when it's time to get "personal". OMG, this is one of funniest stories I've read in a while. I believe the author wrote this on a bit of a dare, but it was so well done and I truly snorted at the very last line. Poor hapless Trip is at the mercy of the curse and can't seem to catch a break. When you are in the mood for something light and fun and just a lark, it's a great choice.
March 29, 2015
Ok, this was kind of weird. I know it is normal to write books about shapeshifters but about a man who was cursed, by a crazy woman that had a bad day, and now is changing irregularly into tortoise and can't control it at all.
The main part of the book is him changed into a tortoise and trying to escape a woman who kidnapped him, then he finds a man who wants to help him and in the end the woman who cursed him wants to help so she reverse it but fail and basically nothing changes except the "tortoise man" find his love who isn't bothered by his changing (in the middle of the sex?). I didn't like it at all. The only possitive I see is that is was very short.
The main part of the book is him changed into a tortoise and trying to escape a woman who kidnapped him, then he finds a man who wants to help him and in the end the woman who cursed him wants to help so she reverse it but fail and basically nothing changes except the "tortoise man" find his love who isn't bothered by his changing (in the middle of the sex?). I didn't like it at all. The only possitive I see is that is was very short.
May 15, 2011
Cute and funny! Quite aside from the ludicrous misadventures -- what if Tip shifts while on his back? -- I loved the total mismatch between Tip's perception of himself and Steve's obvious appreciation. And that last line -- NOT to be read while drinking anything you don't want to clean out of the keyboard.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews