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Good Wives?
Book by MARGARET FORSTER
364 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2001
19 people are currently reading
139 people want to read
About the author
Margaret Forster
67 books197 followersMargaret Forster was educated at the Carlisle and County High School for Girls. From here she won an Open Scholarship to Somerville College, Oxford where in 1960 she was awarded an honours degree in History.
From 1963 Margaret Forster worked as a novelist, biographer and freelance literary critic, contributing regularly to book programmes on television, to Radio 4 and various newpapers and magazines.
Forster was married to the writer, journalist and broadcaster Hunter Davies. They lived in London. and in the Lake District. They had three children, Caitlin, Jake and Flora.
From 1963 Margaret Forster worked as a novelist, biographer and freelance literary critic, contributing regularly to book programmes on television, to Radio 4 and various newpapers and magazines.
Forster was married to the writer, journalist and broadcaster Hunter Davies. They lived in London. and in the Lake District. They had three children, Caitlin, Jake and Flora.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
July 21, 2025
I enjoyed this book which explored four marriages from the mid 19th century to the beginning of the 21st, discussing the roles of not just the wives, but also the husbands and wider families within them. However neither the women nor their lives where typical of the times. They were exceptional women leading unusual lives. As such I feel this book offers a fairly narrow and limited commentary on marriage and what constitutes 'good wives'.
January 5, 2016
Very interesting investigation into the idea of what a "wife" is or should be. Explores the wives of David Livingstone, R L Stevenson and Nye Bevan - Mary, Fanny and Jenny Lee - and also her own marriage to Hunter Davies.
Makes you think about how much and how little attitudes change, my own included!
Makes you think about how much and how little attitudes change, my own included!
August 7, 2015
I thought this book was a very effective way of introducing the lives of three women whose lives and whose husbands' lives I knew very little about. However I thought it worked better as a series of mini biographies than as a comparison of the expectations of what it means to be a good wife.
August 25, 2023
Firstly, I must admit to being slightly obsessed with Margaret Forster, this coming about after reading her books about her houses, her mother, and especially her father, who was quite a difficult character. Her mother’s attitude to the differences between hers and her daughter’s lives reflected my mother’s and mine too, while her father’s attitude to life I can see in some older people I knew. I also think that Margaret comes across more like her father than she would have liked to admit. Therefore, any book of Margaret’s that has an autobiographical element in it is one I’ll want to read.
The section on Mary Livingstone was the most interesting as I only knew of her husband and his so-say heroic work in Darkest Africa. What a life she had! I loved the fact that there was, even in those days, a local branch of a London missionary society.
The bit of Fanny Stevenson’s life I found most interesting was the travel they all did: in my naivety, I was amazed about the fact that her mother in law travelled from Scotland to Samoa a few times with what seemed like relative ease.
Jenny Lee’s story was only interesting because Nye was a good friend of my grandfather’s.
Some other readers didn’t like the reflections on each wife in reference to the author’s experiences but I loved these. Points made that I picked out include:
* Marion saying that she would blame the wife if her husband failed to come up to scratch. I made my husband read this, as he has never believed me when I said that that is how his family used to behave towards me.
* The author saying she wished her husband had more friends. Like many wives, so do I.
* It is not a wifely duty to allow her husband to be so pretend-helpless. I wish I’d know that when I was first married, it’s taken a lot of training to fix this.
* Time apart. Yes, you definitely need to have separate interests, and to socialise apart if one of you is unsociable.
The section on Mary Livingstone was the most interesting as I only knew of her husband and his so-say heroic work in Darkest Africa. What a life she had! I loved the fact that there was, even in those days, a local branch of a London missionary society.
The bit of Fanny Stevenson’s life I found most interesting was the travel they all did: in my naivety, I was amazed about the fact that her mother in law travelled from Scotland to Samoa a few times with what seemed like relative ease.
Jenny Lee’s story was only interesting because Nye was a good friend of my grandfather’s.
Some other readers didn’t like the reflections on each wife in reference to the author’s experiences but I loved these. Points made that I picked out include:
* Marion saying that she would blame the wife if her husband failed to come up to scratch. I made my husband read this, as he has never believed me when I said that that is how his family used to behave towards me.
* The author saying she wished her husband had more friends. Like many wives, so do I.
* It is not a wifely duty to allow her husband to be so pretend-helpless. I wish I’d know that when I was first married, it’s taken a lot of training to fix this.
* Time apart. Yes, you definitely need to have separate interests, and to socialise apart if one of you is unsociable.
April 8, 2023
I like the way Margaret Forster uses question marks in some of her titles to good effect. I had read Have the Men had Enough? and Mother Can You Hear Me? I kept Good Wives? on my BTBR list for many months and I am so glad I finally got round to reading it.
SPOILER ALERT The book shows what the "illustrious" David Livingstone expects from his wife Mary Moffatt, all the time doing 'God's will', travelling the length and breadth of the African continent although he could have stayed in a much more limited area, seeking out the heathens and doing his so-called good works. So much of the time was spent travelling and exploring, I think only a minority of it was spent finding suitable tribes of people and doing the conversions. All the time, where was his Christianity in looking after the physical, mental and spiritual welfare of his wife and children? This story is fascinatingly presented by Forster in a solid context of 20th century feminism.
The section on Fanny Osbourne shows how she first marries a philanderer and then, sadly, the very ill Robert Louis Stevenson. I loved my copy of his Child's Garden of Verse when I was little much more than Treasure Island which did not appeal. It works well that Forster interleaves reflections on her own marriage to Hunter Davies and her more modern interpretation of a good wife as well as that of her daughters. I was only six when they got married but her description of the 1960s resonated with me.
I have one bone to pick with her and it is I think a sign of times continuing to change. Although Margaret Forster didn't like socialising as much as her husband, she does have women friends with whom she is involved. She says that although what she has with them 'may not be important', it is still fun. It's just 'the slip-slop' of gossip as Elizabeth Barrett Browning says and she can only recall 'a few banalities' to pass on. She believes they have been talking about 'nothing' and that Hunter Davies has no equivalent friends. Oh dear! Perhaps he did have lots of friends and acquaintances with whom he could talk about journalism, the Arts and all the intellectual topics under the sun and she lacked the kinds of friends and groups I have had in my life. I feel she trivialises her female friendships in a surprising way considering the premise of the book though I do appreciate she spent most of her own time reading and writing for a living as well as having a home and family.
Apart from her strange attitude to her women friends, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. The section on Jenny Lee and Nye Bevan was my least favourite but still interesting in showing how women's lives, careers and attitudes to marriage had changed by the 20th century.
If you like Forster's writing and if you are interested in feminism, biography and the lives of women as they change through history, you will love this books.
SPOILER ALERT The book shows what the "illustrious" David Livingstone expects from his wife Mary Moffatt, all the time doing 'God's will', travelling the length and breadth of the African continent although he could have stayed in a much more limited area, seeking out the heathens and doing his so-called good works. So much of the time was spent travelling and exploring, I think only a minority of it was spent finding suitable tribes of people and doing the conversions. All the time, where was his Christianity in looking after the physical, mental and spiritual welfare of his wife and children? This story is fascinatingly presented by Forster in a solid context of 20th century feminism.
The section on Fanny Osbourne shows how she first marries a philanderer and then, sadly, the very ill Robert Louis Stevenson. I loved my copy of his Child's Garden of Verse when I was little much more than Treasure Island which did not appeal. It works well that Forster interleaves reflections on her own marriage to Hunter Davies and her more modern interpretation of a good wife as well as that of her daughters. I was only six when they got married but her description of the 1960s resonated with me.
I have one bone to pick with her and it is I think a sign of times continuing to change. Although Margaret Forster didn't like socialising as much as her husband, she does have women friends with whom she is involved. She says that although what she has with them 'may not be important', it is still fun. It's just 'the slip-slop' of gossip as Elizabeth Barrett Browning says and she can only recall 'a few banalities' to pass on. She believes they have been talking about 'nothing' and that Hunter Davies has no equivalent friends. Oh dear! Perhaps he did have lots of friends and acquaintances with whom he could talk about journalism, the Arts and all the intellectual topics under the sun and she lacked the kinds of friends and groups I have had in my life. I feel she trivialises her female friendships in a surprising way considering the premise of the book though I do appreciate she spent most of her own time reading and writing for a living as well as having a home and family.
Apart from her strange attitude to her women friends, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. The section on Jenny Lee and Nye Bevan was my least favourite but still interesting in showing how women's lives, careers and attitudes to marriage had changed by the 20th century.
If you like Forster's writing and if you are interested in feminism, biography and the lives of women as they change through history, you will love this books.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 27, 2021
Something of a social sciences broad overview of the change to women's role and the nature of marriage, the writer take us through a comparison of marriages from 1845 through to the publishing date of 2001, using her own marriage to compare with those of the 3 women she chose over that period.
It's helps that her choices married famous men, so the history of life over the period is in itself interesting, for the amount and quality of work that had to be undertaken by each woman. Mary Livingstone was married to the explorer / missionary David Livingstone, Fanny Stevenson to the author Robert Louis Stevenson, Jennie Lee to Nye Bevan, the MP who initiated the NHS in UK and Forster herself to Hunter Davies.
As it is 20 years since publication things have changed; I doubt the author imagined gay marriage as another option for women and men in the future. It is an interesting social commentary on the changes to marriage over the time period with the personal touch of the writer's own feelings over a life time of marriage.
I doubt young women would see this as relevant to them, as the process of the Wedding looms large as a theatrical event quite apart from the longer term issue of what marriage means and our roles in it, but the issues are interesting and thought provoking. It's a very British look at the issues, making it fairly narrow in focus in our very multicultural society of today.
It's helps that her choices married famous men, so the history of life over the period is in itself interesting, for the amount and quality of work that had to be undertaken by each woman. Mary Livingstone was married to the explorer / missionary David Livingstone, Fanny Stevenson to the author Robert Louis Stevenson, Jennie Lee to Nye Bevan, the MP who initiated the NHS in UK and Forster herself to Hunter Davies.
As it is 20 years since publication things have changed; I doubt the author imagined gay marriage as another option for women and men in the future. It is an interesting social commentary on the changes to marriage over the time period with the personal touch of the writer's own feelings over a life time of marriage.
I doubt young women would see this as relevant to them, as the process of the Wedding looms large as a theatrical event quite apart from the longer term issue of what marriage means and our roles in it, but the issues are interesting and thought provoking. It's a very British look at the issues, making it fairly narrow in focus in our very multicultural society of today.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 22, 2020
I’ve been reading Hunter Davies’ autobiography recently, and this brought me back inevitably to Margaret Forster, one of my favourite authors, of course famously married to Davies. One of her non-fiction books, this is an exploration of the idea and changing role of the wife, through the lives of three very different women. Mary Livingstone had an extraordinary life of hardship and sacrifice as the wife of David Livingstone, the missionary and explorer. Fanny Osbourne was a less conventional ‘wife’ to her husband, Robert Louis Stevenson, but still made many sacrifices to preserve his health and genius. Finally, Jenny Lee, wife of Aneurin Bevan, the great Labour politician and reformer, founder of the NHS, was a very rebellious and non-conformist exception to the traditionally conceived role of wife, especially in the first part of the 20th century. Forster compares and contrasts all three marriages with her own to Davies. I did enjoy the book, though I must say I found the first two marriages more of a chore to read about; my interest definitely picked up when Jenny Lee was the subject. I hadn’t realised that, as Minister for Arts in the Wilson government, she developed the ideas for both the National Theatre and the Open University in the U.K. I was left feeling I would like to read more about Aneurin Bevan as well.
September 24, 2017
This was an interesting little book about what makes a good wife.
Margaret Forster discusses this by relating the biographies of 3 different wives from 3 different eras. They are: Mary Livingstone, Fanny Stevenson and Jennie Lee. She also included her own experiences of Marriage alongside these to give a more modern outlook. I agreed with virtually everything she said and all of these ladies were strong characters which was refreshing. It is well written and reminds us that the best marriages are the ones where we still have independence as well as a close relationship with our other halves. I liked the fact she also thought that mothering men doesn't work either. It is much better to be two equals offering sympathy/empathy.
Sometimes it was a little difficult to read but being busy with work also didn't help!
An interesting read if it is a subject that interests you.
Margaret Forster discusses this by relating the biographies of 3 different wives from 3 different eras. They are: Mary Livingstone, Fanny Stevenson and Jennie Lee. She also included her own experiences of Marriage alongside these to give a more modern outlook. I agreed with virtually everything she said and all of these ladies were strong characters which was refreshing. It is well written and reminds us that the best marriages are the ones where we still have independence as well as a close relationship with our other halves. I liked the fact she also thought that mothering men doesn't work either. It is much better to be two equals offering sympathy/empathy.
Sometimes it was a little difficult to read but being busy with work also didn't help!
An interesting read if it is a subject that interests you.
March 3, 2018
Great book, don't read much non-fiction but this was about what makes a 'good wife'. Many things in may eras.
Thsi looked at the wife of Dr Livingstone, the explorer, that of RL Stevenson author of Treasure Island and many more and Jennie Lee M.P. wife of Nye Bevan a prominent UK politiction of the 50s and 60s. Then the author herself who is the wife of Hunter Davis a famous Author.
Good read. Learnt a lot and it made me think of the changing role of a wife.
Thsi looked at the wife of Dr Livingstone, the explorer, that of RL Stevenson author of Treasure Island and many more and Jennie Lee M.P. wife of Nye Bevan a prominent UK politiction of the 50s and 60s. Then the author herself who is the wife of Hunter Davis a famous Author.
Good read. Learnt a lot and it made me think of the changing role of a wife.
July 19, 2022
I found this interesting looking at the lives of 4 different women over 2 centuries held together by the changing view of marriage and the expected roles of a wife. Over the years a lot has changed but surprisingly quite a lot hasn’t although that lack of change at least isn’t a legal requirement any longer but rather that ‘tradition’ or ‘habit’ live on but also some things do still work
February 2, 2018
very interesting perspective on how marriage, and society's expectations of women's role in it, has changed. and all explored through the lives of 3 interesting women about whom I knew nothing. very glad to have read it
December 4, 2025
A really interesting sweep through recent history on the role of wives to famous men, some wives more conventional than others. I did skip some of the analysis and reflections by the author comparing it to her current role.
August 6, 2017
Interesting book about what it means (and used to mean) to be a wife. particularly enjoyed the section on Mary Livingstone. Poor Mary!
August 3, 2019
Interesting book reflecting on marriages of Mary Livingstone, Fanny Stevenson, Fanny Lee married to Nye Bevin and Margaret Forster.
February 19, 2023
Interesting as a biography but didn’t agree with the author’s commentary on marriage.
May 16, 2023
Very interesting and enjoyable read - about David Livingstone's wife, Robert Louis Stevenson's wife, Aneurin Bevan's wife and Hunter Davies' wife - written by the latter. Thoroughly recommend.
Read
November 6, 2023Mary Moffatt (David Livingstone)
Fanny Osbourne (Robert Louis Stevenson)
Jennie Lee (Aneurin Bevan)
Margaret Forster (Hunter Davies)
Marriage as an institution as seen through these four couples.
Fanny Osbourne (Robert Louis Stevenson)
Jennie Lee (Aneurin Bevan)
Margaret Forster (Hunter Davies)
Marriage as an institution as seen through these four couples.
November 11, 2025
Thought provoking
While being historically informative, I found it interesting to understand and reassess the accepted norms of different times, bringing us up to the present.
While being historically informative, I found it interesting to understand and reassess the accepted norms of different times, bringing us up to the present.
December 18, 2025
Margaret Forster shows a great argument about what a good wife is.
August 15, 2019
Good Wives? focuses on Mary Livingston, Fanny Louis Stevenson and Jennie Bevan, three women from slightly different generations who all get married and have different marriage styles. This is also linked into the authors own marriage and her own marriage style.
The book begins with the author's own opinion about marriage and how she questioned the vows that were made at a wedding before deciding that she didn't want to get married. Then it goes into the marriage of Mary Lvingston and how she just wasn't equipped to deal with the western world because she was raised the majority of her life in Africa due to her father's job as a missionary. Although on the whole she was very agreeable as a wife, there were moments when she did rebel in a way that just didn't seem obvious, yet you had to feel sorry for her because her husband just... wasn't the best for her needs and the needs of their children.
This continues on for Fanny Louis Stevenson, whose marriage was actually a bit different, and by that I mean by a lot. She was married before she meet Robert, yet even when they got together she wasn't a passive wife, they had proper arguments, yet they also cared for one another and there is just so many things that go on that make this marriage seem almost like that of equals.
Next Jennie Bevan, this is a last name I hadn't heard of before and yet she is rather interesting, a female MP that was voted in during the 1920's, she didn't have any interest in settling down, choosing instead to take lovers, although it was discreet she didn't want to put her status as MP in danger. It took her some time to even agree to be a wife and when she did, she did it with her own flair.
Although I did enjoy the book, each section after the tale of each woman was told would be a chapter called Reflection, where the author would look back at the wife and see what she had done, comment on it and talk about how it relates to her or how she has done something similar. I... could have done without that part to be honest, it just didn't seem like it was needed, or if she wanted to prepare the reader for the next part, just do a summary in two pages about what a wife was supposed to be like, stereotypical in that era, even pointing out certain things that would not be regarded as a 'good wife' at that time.
Aside from that it was an interesting book that pulls away from the famous and celebrated men and looks at the women, their wives, who were essentially in the background supporting them.
The book begins with the author's own opinion about marriage and how she questioned the vows that were made at a wedding before deciding that she didn't want to get married. Then it goes into the marriage of Mary Lvingston and how she just wasn't equipped to deal with the western world because she was raised the majority of her life in Africa due to her father's job as a missionary. Although on the whole she was very agreeable as a wife, there were moments when she did rebel in a way that just didn't seem obvious, yet you had to feel sorry for her because her husband just... wasn't the best for her needs and the needs of their children.
This continues on for Fanny Louis Stevenson, whose marriage was actually a bit different, and by that I mean by a lot. She was married before she meet Robert, yet even when they got together she wasn't a passive wife, they had proper arguments, yet they also cared for one another and there is just so many things that go on that make this marriage seem almost like that of equals.
Next Jennie Bevan, this is a last name I hadn't heard of before and yet she is rather interesting, a female MP that was voted in during the 1920's, she didn't have any interest in settling down, choosing instead to take lovers, although it was discreet she didn't want to put her status as MP in danger. It took her some time to even agree to be a wife and when she did, she did it with her own flair.
Although I did enjoy the book, each section after the tale of each woman was told would be a chapter called Reflection, where the author would look back at the wife and see what she had done, comment on it and talk about how it relates to her or how she has done something similar. I... could have done without that part to be honest, it just didn't seem like it was needed, or if she wanted to prepare the reader for the next part, just do a summary in two pages about what a wife was supposed to be like, stereotypical in that era, even pointing out certain things that would not be regarded as a 'good wife' at that time.
Aside from that it was an interesting book that pulls away from the famous and celebrated men and looks at the women, their wives, who were essentially in the background supporting them.
December 24, 2022
Part biography, part op-ed, I really enjoyed this tale of four wives which examines the pressures a woman faces to be a good wife. Forster does this by telling the story of the wives of three famous men - and herself - across the last couple of centuries to consider how (and whether) that has changed.
Of the four, only Mary Livingstone accepted with gusto the traditional role she was brought up to fulfil (by childhood in Africa), and was regarded as a very good wife indeed by her missionary & explorer husband. Nevertheless, she was judged by European society for not giving importance and so time & energy to her appearance. She also drank... oh the horror (eye roll).
Not one of Fanny, Jennie or Margaret Forster herself were in any way traditional wives, and yet - they too - ended up making compromises and not in regard to the care of children. Each found themselves having to fit themselves in around the lives and needs of their husbands, even when believing most passionately it should not be that way and feeling determined not to.
This is an excellent depiction of the emotional and practical struggles women who fall in love (and marry) have to go through.
Of the four, only Mary Livingstone accepted with gusto the traditional role she was brought up to fulfil (by childhood in Africa), and was regarded as a very good wife indeed by her missionary & explorer husband. Nevertheless, she was judged by European society for not giving importance and so time & energy to her appearance. She also drank... oh the horror (eye roll).
Not one of Fanny, Jennie or Margaret Forster herself were in any way traditional wives, and yet - they too - ended up making compromises and not in regard to the care of children. Each found themselves having to fit themselves in around the lives and needs of their husbands, even when believing most passionately it should not be that way and feeling determined not to.
This is an excellent depiction of the emotional and practical struggles women who fall in love (and marry) have to go through.
January 12, 2010
A discourse on what it meant to be a 'good wife' from 1850 to present(ish) day, using three women as case studies. Margaret Forster herself was not comfortable with the idea of being a wife, due to the uneven nature of the married relationship that it created (the bride pledges to to honour and OBEY, and the groom does not). Even as an 'anti-establishment' wife (with no promises to 'obey' whatsoever), she still on several occasions stepped down herself to enable her husband to promote his career. Maybe not so much has changed since the 1850s... :(
March 18, 2015
I enjoyed the historical aspect of learning more of the lives of the women behind some of our well known figures. I realise that the authors own experiences of marriage were juxtaposed against this to show the contrast of a 'modern' wife but I found the author's own experiences less interesting and lost interest in them in a way I can't quite put my finger on. Perhaps it was simply that the fascination of learning more about Mrs. Stevenson, living stone & Lee was so great that in comparison the authors seemed more mundane. I'm not sure. However I would certainly still recommend the book.
November 9, 2008
Noted biographer, Margaret Forster explores the notion of matrimony through the lives of some "almost famous" wives (Mary Livingstone, Fanny Stevenson, Jenny Lee). Pursuing chronologically, the societal evolution of the the concept of the "good wife", Forster intertwines her own longstanding marriage into her refections of those who preceded her on the journey. Both the historical revelations as well as her personal memoir are more captivating and readable than expected.
October 20, 2013
I re-read this recently with particular reference to Mary Livingstone and her interpretation of a 'good wife' as literally suicidal devotion to her husband. It is a fascinating book and examines changes in marriage since about 1840 to the present. Chatty in style, its an easy read that nevertheless provokes thought about accepted beliefs and how they change and can be further challenged.
July 25, 2015
Intelligently written I liked the insight that this book provided on wives during different historical periods. I thought Jennie Lee's story was particularly interesting and how she felt it fine to have her mum run around looking after her but she felt this type of activity was beneath her.
April 23, 2010
Non-fiction. The stories of 3 women up against it. The lives of May, wife of David Livingstone; Fanny, wife of R L Stevenson and Jennie Lee, wife of Aneurin Bevan. Amazing stuff.
Want to read
January 6, 2015So far so good. Definitely want to read more about David Livingstone.
May 18, 2012
Really interesting!
January 10, 2014
Really enjoyed this, only reason it got 4 stars was for perpetuating the myth of 'common law wife' getting rights.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews