Hope For the Separated: Wounded Marriages Can Be Healed

by Gary Chapman

The unfortunate reality is that Christians are separating and divorcing at the same rate as the unbelieving world. But does separation have to mean the end? You may not feel like reconciling. You may not see hope for a reunion. But the biblical ideal for a separated couple is reconciliation. So how do you do it?
When doors slam and angry words fly, when things just aren't working out, and even when your spouse has abandoned your trust, there is hope. Hope for the Separated will show you through God's Word that your marriage can be restored. Recognizing that restoration will not happen for everyone, Dr. Chapman also gives insightful advice for those who experience the pain of divorce.

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Christian, Self Help, Psychology, Christian Non Fiction, Audiobook

176 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1982

About the author

Gary Demonte Chapman is an American author and radio talk show host. Chapman is most noted for his The Five Love Languages series regarding human relationships.

Reviews

[PollyAnna Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

As one who has recently decided to separate from her husband, I found this book to be well worth the read. There are a few things in the book that upset me enough to send me into a depression, though. for a book that's supposed to be about HOPE, it's odd that I spiraled into depression rather than felt uplifted.

I spoke with my counselor regarding some of the things that upset me and she said that I have to weed out what's worth reading from what IS in a book like this. An author like Gary Chapman knows what he's doing, but at the same time, ever situation is different and it's impossible to cover EVERY different type of situation in such a book.

There is a lot of reassurance and a reminder that I do need to stay the course....it is an act of love forcing my husband and I to have a better marriage---a marriage that truly honors God rather than just a marriage where he's here and I'm here and that's all.

Pray for my husband and I........I haven't given up hope...

[Gina · Rating 1 out of 5]

It is a book written from the biblic perspective. It answers to the question "What should I do, being a christian (in case of separation from husband/wife)"?. The book gives also some good advice, from psichological point of view, but it is excesively religious.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I have been separated for about a month, and this book was extremely helpful in figuring out what to do from here.

[Andy Bigley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr Chapman continues to impress. He walks the reader through the twists and turns of separation, offering solid and do-able advice, no matter the reader’s background: gender, years married, time separated, whether one or both spouses want to rebirth the marriage, etc. His point-of-view that a reconciliation is not an attempt to fix what’s wrong is refreshing; rather it’s a rebirth, a new marriage. That perspective offers hope, especially to couples that are exhausted and demoralized of the same broken patterns that got them to the separation to begin with. The fact that there is a chance to get out of the ruts of old and find a satisfying relationship with an ‘old’ spouse, even when love has seemingly left the picture, is well worth the reading time investment. Examples of reconciling couples are provided; some occur quickly while others have taken years (have patience!). Finally, even if reconciliation doesn’t occur, the reader will learn it’s possible to end the relationship with dignity and character intact, knowing that she/he did everything possible to pull things together and treated her/his spouse with respect, kindness, and love even if seemingly unwarranted. Hang in there!

[Mike Shaub · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've ever read

[Mark Taylor]

Concise, sensitive, practical, and helpful book for people in a tough place.

[Mindy Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super helpful for people going through separation in marriage. Good, honest, Godly advice.

[Michael Mack · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this and several other books on the topic in the midst of separation from my wife, a time that felt hopeless. This was the most helpful for me; it kept me heading down the right path even when I didn't feel like it. Another reviewer commented that this book helped her fall into depression; I can see how that could happen, because Chapman doesn't hold back from speaking truth to those in this painful situation. That truth can cause even more pain. But I believe Chapman has spoken the truth lovingly and with the reader's ultimately best interests in mind.

I believe this book as well as Yes, Your Marriage Can Be Saved: 12 Truths for Rescuing Your Relationship by Joe and Beth Williams (see my review on this book), played large roles in helping our marriage to be healed and saved. My wife and I are not only back together, we are closer than ever before and our marriage is growing stronger each day. I highly recommend it with one caveat: be sure to humble yourself as you read. A great marriage takes lots of humility!

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The exercises presented in this book present the reader with an excellent self-examination. If you are thinking of separated or are in a separation, this book is a must read. You are only accountable for your decisions and your actions. You cannot control your spouse's behavior. Use this book as a guide to navigate. This difficult season with God's grace.

[Kim Voss · Rating 5 out of 5]

For those who have a difficult time with hope, this book leaves you feeling hopeful, even when your marriage crumbles.

[Dolly · Rating 2 out of 5]

His other books are better.

[Briana Ford · Rating 5 out of 5]

A step-by-step process of coping with separation, as well as what to do when that time comes and if it doesn't come. Great advice and good assignments.

[Brenda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good for bits and pieces, but a little too heavy on the faith aspect.