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The Father, the Son and the Ghostly Hole: Confessions from a Guilt-edged Life
A hilarious memoir of a lapsed catholic who can't quite fully escape I remember thinking when I was about 14, "I hope God doesn't find out I'm an atheist." Here is Rory's story of being brought up a Catholic, going to Catholic school, and being an altar boy; of the parents, priests, and nuns who taught him; and of the life and characters at his local church. Until, that is, as a teenager in crisis, he abandons his faith and enters the godforsaken world and the glamour of its evil ways with a spring in his step. But almost immediately he realizes he has in the process also freed himself from certainty, comfort, and hope. So his apostasy is a long and winding road which includes the coincidence of marrying a (lapsed) Catholic and getting married in a Catholic church so his children could attend the best school in the area. Its about how being raised a Catholic always colors his view of life and death and how it fuels the guilt he feels in every nook and cranny of that life, and how it provoked for him an [unsuccessful] search for God in other things—sex, drugs, drink, love, family, soccer, and the Periodic Table. May contain traces of jokes.
- GenresNonfiction
336 pages, Paperback
First published April 11, 2011
14 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
June 23, 2011
The reviews on the cover said this book is 'very funny'...if you enjoy reading about a guy waking up in someone's bed having drunk so much that he doesn't recall the woman's name, a repeated scenario, then maybe the book is amusing.
February 22, 2014
Rory McGrath's books are rather like you imagine the man himself to be, superficially chaotic, but on a deeper level clever and considered. They're also quite hard for reviewers to pin down, which is why the newspaper quotes about being funny feel like a typical lazy reaction to a book by someone considered a funnyman.
Let's be clear here - this isn't a comedy book. It has moments of humour, occasionally forced but mostly just in the way things are observed, but it isn't going out of its way to make you laugh. Instead, it comes across rather as a form of expiation - Rory is getting things out of his system by writing them down. Where Bearded Tit laced the biographical threads with charming observations of birds, this book instead muses on Catholicism. It's not deeply philosophical, but it does explore how someone brought up to observe the mass squares a hedonistic lifestyle with what they were taught.
And it's the hedonism which seems to shape the book. The previous book tended to shy away from the whys and wherefores of the author's woes, simply taking the tragedy of the lost first love and the idyll of his later marriage and mixing them with feathers; this book shows how a man dominated by sex, drugs and sketches about the Last Supper manages to screw things up. As a result it lacks a lot of the charm that made its precursor so enjoyable. It's not a difficult read, by any means - the writing style is light, the chapters relatively short and the observations interesting - but anyone expecting a laugh a minute rollercoaster is likely to be disappointed.
Let's be clear here - this isn't a comedy book. It has moments of humour, occasionally forced but mostly just in the way things are observed, but it isn't going out of its way to make you laugh. Instead, it comes across rather as a form of expiation - Rory is getting things out of his system by writing them down. Where Bearded Tit laced the biographical threads with charming observations of birds, this book instead muses on Catholicism. It's not deeply philosophical, but it does explore how someone brought up to observe the mass squares a hedonistic lifestyle with what they were taught.
And it's the hedonism which seems to shape the book. The previous book tended to shy away from the whys and wherefores of the author's woes, simply taking the tragedy of the lost first love and the idyll of his later marriage and mixing them with feathers; this book shows how a man dominated by sex, drugs and sketches about the Last Supper manages to screw things up. As a result it lacks a lot of the charm that made its precursor so enjoyable. It's not a difficult read, by any means - the writing style is light, the chapters relatively short and the observations interesting - but anyone expecting a laugh a minute rollercoaster is likely to be disappointed.
May 8, 2017
c2011: FWFTB: apostasy, guilt, relationships, Cornwall, priest. Having seen the author on a number of panel shows, I was interested to see how his sense of humour would translate to the written page.
I didn’t manage to find the paperback so went with the audible book which is narrated by the author.
This was probably just as well as he was able to easily convey exactly what emotion he was feeling at the time and I may have interpreted it incorrectly. He does have rather a nasally voice and I thought for a bit that I wasn’t going to be able to finish but I got hooked and it stopped mattering after a while
As has been mentioned by other reviewers, he certainly does not shy away from detailing the less savoury life experiences but there were a few bits that made me laugh out aloud. The humour has been handled very well and although I couldn’t say that it was a laugh-a-minute, it didn’t feel forced in any way. Apparently, it took a while for the book to actually be published as its publication was delayed for legal reasons. (The Guardian 05/03/2011)A succinct comment by the Telegraph is featured on the cover ‘Very funny’ - I wonder if there was a bit of the review left off or whether that is all the reviewer could be bothered to say. Another one of life’s little mysteries.I am not a fan of the cover at all. Whist it conveys that the book will include childhood memoirs, it did nearly put me off entirely.
Definitely recommended to those amongst the normal crew that will not blush at some of the language used."You were trying to be funny and that's what I find most sad. Being funny is your way of protecting yourself.”
I didn’t manage to find the paperback so went with the audible book which is narrated by the author.
This was probably just as well as he was able to easily convey exactly what emotion he was feeling at the time and I may have interpreted it incorrectly. He does have rather a nasally voice and I thought for a bit that I wasn’t going to be able to finish but I got hooked and it stopped mattering after a while
As has been mentioned by other reviewers, he certainly does not shy away from detailing the less savoury life experiences but there were a few bits that made me laugh out aloud. The humour has been handled very well and although I couldn’t say that it was a laugh-a-minute, it didn’t feel forced in any way. Apparently, it took a while for the book to actually be published as its publication was delayed for legal reasons. (The Guardian 05/03/2011)A succinct comment by the Telegraph is featured on the cover ‘Very funny’ - I wonder if there was a bit of the review left off or whether that is all the reviewer could be bothered to say. Another one of life’s little mysteries.I am not a fan of the cover at all. Whist it conveys that the book will include childhood memoirs, it did nearly put me off entirely.
Definitely recommended to those amongst the normal crew that will not blush at some of the language used."You were trying to be funny and that's what I find most sad. Being funny is your way of protecting yourself.”
January 2, 2018
Though I didn't enjoy this quite as much as his second book 'bearded tit' I did find this book alike that in its lightly amusing tone and warm reminiscence.
It's a book about Catholicism,God and really the loss of religious belief but the lingering effect it can still have on a person..the whole guilt complex.
Against the backdrop of last year's legal woes the author faced some of the subject matter in regard adultery etc is probably due a updated edition and I'm suspecting that old Catholic guilt weighed heavy...however ultimately I bring that up as you wonder if McGrath is now a damaged commodity for a publishing house?...I'm hoping not and I'm hoping we do in time get further books from him as the irreverent detail and truly interesting facts do make for a satisfying read.
It's a book about Catholicism,God and really the loss of religious belief but the lingering effect it can still have on a person..the whole guilt complex.
Against the backdrop of last year's legal woes the author faced some of the subject matter in regard adultery etc is probably due a updated edition and I'm suspecting that old Catholic guilt weighed heavy...however ultimately I bring that up as you wonder if McGrath is now a damaged commodity for a publishing house?...I'm hoping not and I'm hoping we do in time get further books from him as the irreverent detail and truly interesting facts do make for a satisfying read.
November 14, 2019
Funny, moving, even thought-provoking in a non-threatening way, this memoir meanders through time and jokes without ever really giving too much away, or getting f too serious. But it nevertheless manages to deal with some pretty serious issues, like faith, life, death and why otherwise intelligent, Cambridge-educated people support Arsenal. The non-linear narrative can be slightly disorientating although it has the advantage of allowing the healthy juxtaposition of thoughtful reflection and jokes. And ultimately, the book finishes with one. Without ever really reaching a conclusion... maybe there’s a third volume, yet-to-be written?
December 27, 2016
3.5 stars
Enjoyably read (audiobook version) by the author. This was entertaining and certainly honest (McGrath does not shy away from talking about some low moments, some embarrassing situations).
It's an autobiography of sorts, all centred around the religion of Rory's childhood and his lack of it as an adult, but how it still featured regularly in his feelings of guilt, his career, his relationships.
I did laugh, I did like it. But it also felt bitty. It moved backwards and forwards but it was hard to work at what point in time each chapter is set and what Rory's feelings are towards religion at each point.
Some definite high moments, and some insights into how a child sees Catholicism, and being a comedian, it is funny. But it didn't flow easily for me.
Might have worked better sequentially, but if you like autobiographies or light-hearted looks at religion, you might want to try it.
Enjoyably read (audiobook version) by the author. This was entertaining and certainly honest (McGrath does not shy away from talking about some low moments, some embarrassing situations).
It's an autobiography of sorts, all centred around the religion of Rory's childhood and his lack of it as an adult, but how it still featured regularly in his feelings of guilt, his career, his relationships.
I did laugh, I did like it. But it also felt bitty. It moved backwards and forwards but it was hard to work at what point in time each chapter is set and what Rory's feelings are towards religion at each point.
Some definite high moments, and some insights into how a child sees Catholicism, and being a comedian, it is funny. But it didn't flow easily for me.
Might have worked better sequentially, but if you like autobiographies or light-hearted looks at religion, you might want to try it.
April 6, 2011
No it was not as good as Bearded Tit but since that is one of the sweetest most surprising stories I've ever read, I knew not to expect the same again. There was quite a bit of repetition. Some I am sure was deliberate and effective style but I am not 100% sure that some of it wasn't lack of editing. The 'Growing Up' in question is not all childhood growing up either.
I've now discovered a Guardian interview in which it seems that publication was held up for legal reasons - I'm not surprised, although I think McGrath comes over as a great 'shades of grey' about everyone person - possibly quite amazing considering the subject and what he has to say about it. It's described as a comic memoir but I think a lot of the smiles are smiles of sympathy, even if you weren't brought up Catholic.
I've now discovered a Guardian interview in which it seems that publication was held up for legal reasons - I'm not surprised, although I think McGrath comes over as a great 'shades of grey' about everyone person - possibly quite amazing considering the subject and what he has to say about it. It's described as a comic memoir but I think a lot of the smiles are smiles of sympathy, even if you weren't brought up Catholic.
October 22, 2015
I was able to relate to all things Catholic, having been brought up one, also the Cornish element. However it seemed to ramble, waffle and jump about from event to event. Didn't find it funny at all. Also was irritated by the error regarding the immaculate conception!!
April 2, 2015
stopped reading after chapter 5
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews