The Government Manual for New Pirates

by Matthew David Brozik, Jacob Sager Weinstein

Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those über-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.

Genres: Pirates, Humor, Fiction, How To

144 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2007

About the author

Matthew David Brozik is a lawyer-turned-copywriter and the author of several quirky, humorous books, including:

• THREEINCARNATED

• TWIN FREAKS

• THE VOWELS OF THE EARTH

• ODDER SPACE

• SPELLED WRONG

• CHAMPION AT THE BIT

• DANGER ...WITH A HARD G (named one of the Best Comedy Books of 2017 by SPLITSIDER)

• WHIMSY & SODA

• TAKING IVY SERIOUSLY

He's also co-author (with Jacob Sager Weinstein) of THE GOVERNMENT MANUAL FOR NEW SUPERHEROES, THE GOVERNMENT MANUAL FOR NEW WIZARDS, and THE GOVERNMENT MANUAL FOR NEW PIRATES (Andrews McMeel) and (with Lauren Krueger) of GOOROO'S *PRO*-MAGNON KITCHEN.

He earned a Pushcart Prize nomination for short humor. His pieces have been featured by The New Yorker, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Grin & Tonic (Barnes & Noble), and AdultSwim. His short fiction has appeared in various publications in print and online.

Reviews

[Netsen7Bookdragon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny book about the act of piracy and how to behave when it comes to being a pirate. Written in pirate tongue and I've read it more than once :o)

[Beau · Rating 4 out of 5]

More charming and clever than I'd expected.

I've read, watched and heard a LOT of pirate non-fiction, fiction and parodies over the years, and was skeptical about what this slight tome. But the authors not only parody historical pirates, but the large body of pirate fiction, including the recent Pirates of the Caribbean movies with a very light touch -- if you don't know the source material being parodied, it's just purely funny stuff.

Honestly, I didn't expect the humor to be so well done or the writing to be so good. This is a tasty little treat for pirate enthusiasts.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humorous, light-hearted book about basic pirate culture. The humor is both outright ridiculous and subtle. A good read, can be done in one sitting.

[rockle · Rating 3 out of 5]

A treat for myself for "Talk Like A Pirate Day." I've spent more money on worse.

[Kerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Best part of this book has to be the lyrics to popular pirate songs (a pirate version of Row Row Row your Boat that keeps me entertained for hours on end!)

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A tongue-in-cheek handbook on pirating... the index alone is worth the price of admission. A fun afternoon's read.