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Riding the Bus with My Sister: A True Life Journey
A “heartwarming, life-affirming” memoir of a relationship with an intellectually disabled “Read this book. It might just change your life” (Boston Herald). Beth is a spirited woman with an intellectual disability who lives intensely and often joyfully, and spends most of her days riding the buses in Pennsylvania. The drivers, a lively group, are her mentors; her fellow passengers, her community—though some display less patience or kindness than others. Her sister, Rachel, a teacher and writer, camouflages her emotional isolation by leading a hyperbusy life. But one day, Beth asks Rachel to accompany her on public transportation for an entire year—and Rachel accepts. This wise, funny, deeply affecting book is the chronicle of that remarkable time, as Rachel learns how to live in the moment, how to pay attention to what really matters, how to change, how to love—and how to slow down and enjoy the ride. Weaving in anecdotes and memories of terrifying maternal abandonment, fierce sisterly loyalty, and astonishing forgiveness, Rachel Simon brings to light a world that is almost invisible to many people, finds unlikely heroes in everyday life, and, without sentimentality, wrestles with her own limitations and portrays Beth as the endearing, feisty, independent person she is. “With tenderness and fury, heartbreak and acceptance . . . Simon comes to the inescapable conclusion that we are all riders on the bus, and on the bus we are all the same.” —Jacquelyn Mitchard, author of The Deep End of the Ocean
308 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2002
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About the author
Rachel Simon
22 books341 followersRachel Simon is the author of six books.
The Story of Beautiful Girl
The House On Teacher's Lane
Riding The Bus With My Sister
The Writer's Survival Guide
The Magic Touch
Little Nightmares Little Dreams
In 2005, Hallmark Hall of Fame adapted Riding The Bus With My Sister for a film by the same name. It starred Rosie O'Donnell as Rachel's sister Beth and Andie MacDowell as Rachel, and it was directed by Anjelica Huston.
NPR adapted the title story from Little Nightmares, Little Dreams for the program "Selected Shorts," which was also adapted for an episode of the Lifetime program "The Hidden Room." The short story "Paint," from the same book, was adapted for the stage by The Arden Theatre Company in Philadelphia, PA.
Rachel is one of the only authors to have been selected twice for the Barnes & Noble Discover New Writers Program, once in fiction and once in nonfiction. She has received a Secretary Tommy G. Thompson's Recognition Award from the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, for contributions to the field of disability. Among Rachel's other awards have been two creative writing fellowships from the Delaware Division of the Arts, three creative writing fellowships from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, and a fiction fellowship from the Ludwig Vogelstein Foundation.
Rachel Simon went to high school at Solebury School, a small, co-ed boarding school in New Hope, PA. She then attended Bryn Mawr College, graduating with a degree in Anthropology in 1981.
Rachel's jobs have included being a community relations manager at a large bookstore, and a creative writing teacher at several colleges. She now makes her living as a writer and a speaker on topics related to disability.
Rachel Simon lives in Delaware with her husband, the architect Hal Dean.
The Story of Beautiful Girl
The House On Teacher's Lane
Riding The Bus With My Sister
The Writer's Survival Guide
The Magic Touch
Little Nightmares Little Dreams
In 2005, Hallmark Hall of Fame adapted Riding The Bus With My Sister for a film by the same name. It starred Rosie O'Donnell as Rachel's sister Beth and Andie MacDowell as Rachel, and it was directed by Anjelica Huston.
NPR adapted the title story from Little Nightmares, Little Dreams for the program "Selected Shorts," which was also adapted for an episode of the Lifetime program "The Hidden Room." The short story "Paint," from the same book, was adapted for the stage by The Arden Theatre Company in Philadelphia, PA.
Rachel is one of the only authors to have been selected twice for the Barnes & Noble Discover New Writers Program, once in fiction and once in nonfiction. She has received a Secretary Tommy G. Thompson's Recognition Award from the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, for contributions to the field of disability. Among Rachel's other awards have been two creative writing fellowships from the Delaware Division of the Arts, three creative writing fellowships from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, and a fiction fellowship from the Ludwig Vogelstein Foundation.
Rachel Simon went to high school at Solebury School, a small, co-ed boarding school in New Hope, PA. She then attended Bryn Mawr College, graduating with a degree in Anthropology in 1981.
Rachel's jobs have included being a community relations manager at a large bookstore, and a creative writing teacher at several colleges. She now makes her living as a writer and a speaker on topics related to disability.
Rachel Simon lives in Delaware with her husband, the architect Hal Dean.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 980 reviews
September 5, 2011
We who grow up with family members with mental retardation have a blindspot like Rachel Simon. We think we "know" what MR is -- we live with it every day! But as Rachel discovers at the end of her journey, MR is a catchall term for the many things that can go wrong in a person's brain and development. And each person who is diagnosed with MR is still an individual with different abilities -- some skills stronger than others -- despite the label that lumps them altogether.
I regret not reading this book before my uncle died because it would've spurred me to learn more about who he really was, which I thought I knew because I lived in the same house with him for 20 years. I regret that my family treated him like he stopped aging at the "mental age" he was -- which I'm not really even sure what that was. They treated him like a child when many times he behaved like an adult and, I believe, wanted to be treated like an adult but they kept him labeled as and treated like a child because that's how they identified with administering his care. He could've worked at a sheltered workshop if my grandparents had allowed him and he could've had friends outside our family. He was my first playmate and first friend.
I am more upset writing this review, thinking about my own situation, than reading the book. "Riding the Bus With My Sister" is more than a look at how society treats people with MR and physical disabilities -- people who are "other". That's in there and that's what makes this book important but it's not just a case study and certainly not a sermon. The author confronts her broken family and how her parents' failed relationship affects her romantic relationships. She says what every family member of someone with MR thinks sometimes but dares not say: the frustration and embarrassment and spite and meanness and occasional wish that our relatives were "normal" that wars with our intense love for them.
I regret not reading this book before my uncle died because it would've spurred me to learn more about who he really was, which I thought I knew because I lived in the same house with him for 20 years. I regret that my family treated him like he stopped aging at the "mental age" he was -- which I'm not really even sure what that was. They treated him like a child when many times he behaved like an adult and, I believe, wanted to be treated like an adult but they kept him labeled as and treated like a child because that's how they identified with administering his care. He could've worked at a sheltered workshop if my grandparents had allowed him and he could've had friends outside our family. He was my first playmate and first friend.
I am more upset writing this review, thinking about my own situation, than reading the book. "Riding the Bus With My Sister" is more than a look at how society treats people with MR and physical disabilities -- people who are "other". That's in there and that's what makes this book important but it's not just a case study and certainly not a sermon. The author confronts her broken family and how her parents' failed relationship affects her romantic relationships. She says what every family member of someone with MR thinks sometimes but dares not say: the frustration and embarrassment and spite and meanness and occasional wish that our relatives were "normal" that wars with our intense love for them.
June 30, 2017
A true story about the author and her mentally handicapped sister. Good for you Beth! Interestingly enough, I liked the parts where the author wrote about growing up with her family. This was indeed a good read.
April 10, 2017
With a special needs sister myself, I have to confess this book was a little disappointing. I wasn't very impressed with Rachel's attitude toward her sister. Maybe I just hoped she'd have the loving, unbreakable bond that I do with mine. Having my own sister, just the way she is, has made a positive impact on our family and my life and I was hoping this story would share a similar tale. It wasn't all bad though and there were definitely many parts I enjoyed.
March 30, 2013
This is an anniversary edition with new content. (There's an essay from Beth and some "Where Are They Now?" material, for example, as well as resources and more information.)
This is one of those books that I had always meant to read, and I was very happy that Hachette allowed me to read this for review. :)
I admire Rachel Simon so much for writing this book, because she's very up front about her feelings and the fact that she's not always a good sister to Beth. (To be fair, I think she's a better sister to Beth than a lot of people would be, because Beth---while undeniably an exuberant person who is full of life and generally a good, fun person to be around---is also sometimes a complete pain. And since this is true for many people, including me, I don't think this is because she happens to have intellectual disabilities. I think it's because she's human.)
One noteworthy thing about this book---Beth is part of the first generation of people with developmental disabilities who weren't just institutionalized as a matter of course. Nowadays, of course, we wouldn't even think about putting people away someplace. But in generations prior, that was done. It was so routine, in fact, that people didn't even really debate it. That's what you did. But that generation, it was more of a choice, I think. And Beth's family decided that she would live with them and do the things they did. And that lesson was hammered home to Rachel and her siblings: we are not ashamed of Beth.
This is such an inspiring story and I'm glad it's getting a re-release.
This is one of those books that I had always meant to read, and I was very happy that Hachette allowed me to read this for review. :)
I admire Rachel Simon so much for writing this book, because she's very up front about her feelings and the fact that she's not always a good sister to Beth. (To be fair, I think she's a better sister to Beth than a lot of people would be, because Beth---while undeniably an exuberant person who is full of life and generally a good, fun person to be around---is also sometimes a complete pain. And since this is true for many people, including me, I don't think this is because she happens to have intellectual disabilities. I think it's because she's human.)
One noteworthy thing about this book---Beth is part of the first generation of people with developmental disabilities who weren't just institutionalized as a matter of course. Nowadays, of course, we wouldn't even think about putting people away someplace. But in generations prior, that was done. It was so routine, in fact, that people didn't even really debate it. That's what you did. But that generation, it was more of a choice, I think. And Beth's family decided that she would live with them and do the things they did. And that lesson was hammered home to Rachel and her siblings: we are not ashamed of Beth.
This is such an inspiring story and I'm glad it's getting a re-release.
September 19, 2017
I didnt enjoy the begining because it just started a little slow, but as I kept reading I was able to get into the book more. This book was about how Rachel dealth with her sister having a mental illness. She opens up about how they grew up and the struggles Rachel faced having to deal with her sister. Having divorced parents made the sibling come closer because they had each other. As they got older, Beth the sister moved into the city for fun she would just ride the bus and through out the book the bus became an important setting where we got to see the stuggles and learn about different people. All in all, I was not that big of a fan. I love the story behind how the siblings grew up but I just kept getting bored and pushed myself through the book.
April 22, 2014
WOW! WOW! WOW!
This is one of those books that will stay with me for a long time. This is also a book that will stay on my "read" shelf here at my house because I think I will need to visit it again and again to remind myself what grace and love really look like and just how families CAN heal after all.
I HIGHLY recommend this book. It's a book about love, sisters, family and ALL the crazy that goes along with those.
Rachel and her sister Beth are amazing and the lessons that Beth teaches Rachel without even realizing it will just break into your heart and stay there forever.
October 8, 2018
3.25. Better than some memoirs. 3.25 because I am not sure that other memiors I will continue to read for US Disability Awareness Month will be like, how enlightening they too will be in turn. These are not memoirs about walking across the Australian outback or walking a US Department of Parks and Recreation long hikes. The challenge is far different.
Two sisters: Rachel who wants the Big Life (her term) and Beth who lives to ride the city buses. The verbs are telling. Rachel makes a commiittment that for a year she will visit Beth on weekends during which she will ride the buses with her sister. Rachel shows us the dynamics of a family who are among the first generation to keep their mentally challenged family member, not only at home, also with them. So not a lot of support for the family. The family did its best. Sister Rachel sometimes feels guilty for decisions family forced on Beth. So agreeing to be a part of Beth's life for a year of weekends provides Rachel a way to waylay some of her sense of guilt.
By some bus riding and bus driving people's standards--often by Rachel's standards--Beth talks too much, says inappropriate things, acts in selfish, self-centered ways. Rachel spends much time trying to figure out if what Bath does is Beth's character or Beth's brain. Sometimes after much studying of her sister, Rachel figures it out.
Beth's being generally selfish and self-centered causes problems for Beth. Individuals try to meet their needs in the moments of selfishness and self-centeredness Yet too much selfishness self-centeredness can lead others to not accept us and even more importantly lead us to make self-defeating decisions. Example: Beth eats junk food becaise her self-serving part/selfish part does not let Beth even consider the long-term consequences of eating junk everyday all day. Beth loves bus riding, moving at incredible speeds from one stop to another to running errands between the desired bus rides--but someday that will end because of the junk food. She already has arthritis and diabetes that she is doing virtually nothing to slow the progress of.
Yet Beth has beautiful power from the inside out. She has a value system she holds firm to. She loves people, but never more than herself. Her sense of humor can often be enjoyed and sometimes curtailed. She is too funny/too graphic. She knows what she wants--to ride buses and just a few things more--and she gets them.
Highs and Lows of what is to love a mentally challenged person strong enough to live by herself--with agency support.
Two sisters: Rachel who wants the Big Life (her term) and Beth who lives to ride the city buses. The verbs are telling. Rachel makes a commiittment that for a year she will visit Beth on weekends during which she will ride the buses with her sister. Rachel shows us the dynamics of a family who are among the first generation to keep their mentally challenged family member, not only at home, also with them. So not a lot of support for the family. The family did its best. Sister Rachel sometimes feels guilty for decisions family forced on Beth. So agreeing to be a part of Beth's life for a year of weekends provides Rachel a way to waylay some of her sense of guilt.
By some bus riding and bus driving people's standards--often by Rachel's standards--Beth talks too much, says inappropriate things, acts in selfish, self-centered ways. Rachel spends much time trying to figure out if what Bath does is Beth's character or Beth's brain. Sometimes after much studying of her sister, Rachel figures it out.
Beth's being generally selfish and self-centered causes problems for Beth. Individuals try to meet their needs in the moments of selfishness and self-centeredness Yet too much selfishness self-centeredness can lead others to not accept us and even more importantly lead us to make self-defeating decisions. Example: Beth eats junk food becaise her self-serving part/selfish part does not let Beth even consider the long-term consequences of eating junk everyday all day. Beth loves bus riding, moving at incredible speeds from one stop to another to running errands between the desired bus rides--but someday that will end because of the junk food. She already has arthritis and diabetes that she is doing virtually nothing to slow the progress of.
Yet Beth has beautiful power from the inside out. She has a value system she holds firm to. She loves people, but never more than herself. Her sense of humor can often be enjoyed and sometimes curtailed. She is too funny/too graphic. She knows what she wants--to ride buses and just a few things more--and she gets them.
Highs and Lows of what is to love a mentally challenged person strong enough to live by herself--with agency support.
March 24, 2016
Riding the Bus with My Sister is an inspiring read for a fellow typical sibling of a loved one with a disability. Rachel Simon serves as an inspiration for me in that she is able to use her gifts and talents to not only interact well with her sister Beth, but also to inspire and inform others with her honest true story. Having the ability to read and write when my brother did not was sometimes a complicated feeling. Some of the guilt Rachel Simon implicitly reveals is similar to what I have felt. I lived life at a different pace than my brother, as Rachel Simon does with her sister, Beth. It can be hard to slow down and spend time with our family members, but there is such reward in it. Rachel Simon is a talented writer who not only tells an honest, heartfelt story I can relate to with my family, but she is amazing at using sensory detail and organization to draw interest and meaning through the narrative.
April 22, 2018
There seems to be no official confirmation available anywhere as to whether Cool Beth & Rachel's adventures occurred on SEPTA (South Eastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority), but due partially to my own biased desires to identify with a beautifully written memoir (I have spent more hours than I care to admit to struggling with the daily pain of SEPTA) as well as data supporting my claim (SEPTA hosting a signing event with Rachel Simon, we are sure Simon lives/attended university in the area (Bryn Mawr on The Main Line), the text mentions Beth being "in the suburbs" of Philadelphia, vaguely mentioning a distance of around an "hour", which SEPTA service encompasses. It should be noted, however, that my not-so-ideal experiences on SEPTA are not quite the perfect comparison, as Beth always chose the unpopulated routes, which is nearly impossible near the center of the city, where I was. The drivers I met on typical routes showed no capacity to be understanding, let alone have the time to accommodate an individual with mental retardation. Then again, Beth did also have her share of less than nice individuals; Simon specifically clarifies how she hand chose her mentors. The few experiences I had on SEPTA in the suburbs were immediately much more easily recognizable as an education-fostering, fun, understanding environment as Simon describes.
This being said, I did love this account of a (minor) mental retardation sufferer; although using that phrase seems non requiter in Beth's situation, as well as she has accepted her situation, adapting with flying colors. It seem natural to name Cool Beth as the protagonist here, but I disagree. Beth has lived her life this way for some time; it is Rachel whom learns so much through her year with her sister, Rachel whom is changed, makes grandeur changes in her own life as a result, Rachel whom learns the most unexpected lessons from the least likely of places. So what does she learn? She learns about life. That the simple things are what matter. That a career is not everything. That it is your interpersonal relationships in this lifetime that have the most value. That happiness is really very simple: to love and be loved.
And in a way, ignorance is bliss. Like Rachel, I am an overachiever; with the highest of expectations, my own worst enemy. Sometimes, we can learn from those less ambitious, maybe even less intelligent. If they can be happy, why can't we? What benefit is such status, career, ingenuity, etc. if one refuses to be happy, to be satisfied with what they have?
This being said, I did love this account of a (minor) mental retardation sufferer; although using that phrase seems non requiter in Beth's situation, as well as she has accepted her situation, adapting with flying colors. It seem natural to name Cool Beth as the protagonist here, but I disagree. Beth has lived her life this way for some time; it is Rachel whom learns so much through her year with her sister, Rachel whom is changed, makes grandeur changes in her own life as a result, Rachel whom learns the most unexpected lessons from the least likely of places. So what does she learn? She learns about life. That the simple things are what matter. That a career is not everything. That it is your interpersonal relationships in this lifetime that have the most value. That happiness is really very simple: to love and be loved.
And in a way, ignorance is bliss. Like Rachel, I am an overachiever; with the highest of expectations, my own worst enemy. Sometimes, we can learn from those less ambitious, maybe even less intelligent. If they can be happy, why can't we? What benefit is such status, career, ingenuity, etc. if one refuses to be happy, to be satisfied with what they have?
January 7, 2008
I'm only about halfway through with this book, but it is such an endearing story about a woman (writer) who takes time off from her normal schedule to literally ride the bus with her mentally challenged sister(Beth)for one year. She discovers not only Beth's challenges, but the numerous ways that she is brave, industrious, self-sufficient and "normal."
The relationship between the sister's, as well as that of Beth and the drivers, lends to a heart-warming story that is truthful and does not always depict Beth as a smiling, universally-liked stereotype.
The relationship between the sister's, as well as that of Beth and the drivers, lends to a heart-warming story that is truthful and does not always depict Beth as a smiling, universally-liked stereotype.
June 12, 2014
I ended up liking this book more than I thought I would. I was a afraid it would be trite. I did get a little bit tired of the narratives about the drivers. What I liked the most were the sections on the family history. I found it really moving how she quietly told the story.
"At boarding school, I sit late at night on friends' beanbag chairs, discussing my most feared scenarios about Beth's fate, keeping my listeners awake until they exile me to my room. I have no idea what is happening- there has been no word from mom, Beth, Grandma, anyone.
I stop combing my hair in the morning.
Perhaps our mother is fitting mittens on Beth's hands. But perhaps something has gone teribly wrong, and now a mittenless Beth is forging through the snow on her own.
I stop sleeping at night.
I lie in the dark, imagining Beth wandering the streets in some strange city, kicking up slush in her sandals, searching through trash cans for food. I imagine her curled up at night, under fire escapes and loose newspapers and a pimp's appraising gaze.
I stop speaking in class."
"At boarding school, I sit late at night on friends' beanbag chairs, discussing my most feared scenarios about Beth's fate, keeping my listeners awake until they exile me to my room. I have no idea what is happening- there has been no word from mom, Beth, Grandma, anyone.
I stop combing my hair in the morning.
Perhaps our mother is fitting mittens on Beth's hands. But perhaps something has gone teribly wrong, and now a mittenless Beth is forging through the snow on her own.
I stop sleeping at night.
I lie in the dark, imagining Beth wandering the streets in some strange city, kicking up slush in her sandals, searching through trash cans for food. I imagine her curled up at night, under fire escapes and loose newspapers and a pimp's appraising gaze.
I stop speaking in class."
January 5, 2017
I WANT TO GET OFF THE BUS!!!! Please!! This book just went on and on and on... I get it was a memoir but I felt like this would have been better off in a journal not published. It was like, "I had a rough life...and oh my sister...feel sorry for me...but I'm okay now." It was probably cathartic for Simon but boring for me.
(I did read Simon's The Story of Beautiful Girl and it was wonderful.)
(I did read Simon's The Story of Beautiful Girl and it was wonderful.)
to-not-read-ever
April 9, 2010DO YOU LIKE MARSHMALLOWS?!? ME TOO!!
January 21, 2023
Genre: Memoir
Format: Audio
4🌟 - I liked it!
My IRL book club chose this one as a pick, and it was definitely enlightening. As a therapist myself, there was a lot of takeaways for me and for my coworkers! I do feel though that a lot of verbiage was outdated and made it uncomfortable to listen to at times.
Format: Audio
4🌟 - I liked it!
My IRL book club chose this one as a pick, and it was definitely enlightening. As a therapist myself, there was a lot of takeaways for me and for my coworkers! I do feel though that a lot of verbiage was outdated and made it uncomfortable to listen to at times.
September 8, 2011
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... Oh, what... huh?? I got to page 88 and I'm done with this thing. Boooooooooring. I guess I'm just not a fan of feel-good true stories that teach me lessons about life. After the 3rd (or so) bus driver gave his uninterrupted, full-page monologue about the life lessons he's learned and that he's passing on to Rachel Simon, I decided enough's enough. Somehow I have trouble believing that this is exactly how things happened. And I think I'm done learning lessons. 1)Be nice. 2)Don't treat different people mean 3)Love life and love love. 4)Slow down and smell the roses. 5)Ambition is evil and you should get married instead. I'm pretty sure I already know what's going to happen in the rest of this. Beth will teach her sister about what's "really important" and Rachel will finally find that husband she's been missing and finally her womanhood will come to fruition.
January 12, 2009
The first part of this really grabbed my attention. An interesting story, but, like Rachel, i found myself frustrated at times with Beth. The interplay of the present day story with the family background was interesting, though it did get painful as the family's disfunction came to the fore. As the book wore on, it became more of a catharsis for RAchel to work out her feelings about life, her relationship with Sam and her feelings about Beth. I imagine the original article that prompted the book was quite interesting, but Ii found the book a tad long. As a tale of sisters, it was okay. Not as heartwarming as I expected. Beth or Beth's brain?
April 3, 2024
I really enjoyed this book on so many levels. I feel it’s an important read… for people with disabilities, for siblings, for people who work with and support people with disabilities, for people who encounter people with disabilities in the community… for all of us. It touches on relationships, misunderstandings, acceptance, love, family, community, personal choice, value and values, self determination, and civil rights. I recommend reading it. And I recommend befriending an adult with disabilities.
August 4, 2023
This book was very well written! An enduring true story of a woman working through the complicated emotions of loving someone with a disability and navigating a world of difference. It was so heart warming and thought provoking!! A very easy and good read
September 24, 2017
This was the second time I read this wonderful book! As a parent of a grown son with developmental delays, I could relate to the gamut of feelings and the difficult decisions Rachel and her family experienced as Beth matured. This book acknowledges that the nuanced journey to self-determination is not only challenging for Beth and her parents and siblings, but also for the team of professionals who work with Beth. The bus drivers (who serve as Beth's heros and informal counselors as she choses to spend her days continuously riding city buses) add humor and down-to-earth wisdom to Beth's story. In the end, riding the bus with Beth helps Rachel discover a fresh perspective, not only on Beth's life, but also on her own.
September 21, 2008
This is a story about Rachel, sister of “Cool Beth”. Beth is mildly retarded. She lives on her own and lives on disability. She doesn’t have a job. She rides the local buses in her Pennsylvania city, every day. Looking for something to write about, Rachel decides to visit her sister and spend a day with her. This leads to an article in the newspaper. The experience has surprised Rachel and it has sparked a new relationship with Beth. So, Rachel decides to “Ride the bus with her sister” and she does. Every two weeks, every month of the year. This book is about that journey. It isn’t just a journey on a bus. It is a journey through the life of Rachel and Beth. Rachel learns to come to terms with her feelings and having a sister who is mentally challenged. She gives the reader flashbacks to their childhood and how hard it was sometimes. Their parents divorced when they were young. Beth was separated from Rachel and her brother and sister. She lived with their mom who married an ex-con abused Beth and her mother. There was a period time where they didn’t know where Beth was. Now, as adults, Rachel wants to be a better sister and learn how to understand Beth and her handicap. This is one of those books where I now want to buy a bunch of copies and give one to everyone I know. The writing style is very personal and full of emotion. A reader learns many lessons reading a book like this. It’s not exclusively about mentally handicapped people and how to understand them. Rachel’s experience with Beth riding the buses and getting to know the drivers taught her about regular people and their insights on their lives and what brought them to where they are now. Rachel was amazed by the friendly drivers who befriended Beth and had more patience than she could ever know. She was surprised by their kindness and generosity when Beth needed support during an operation or help finding a bathroom. Rachel’s life changed as well. She learned to open her heart and slowly let people in. It changed her life. This is definitely one of the best reads I have experienced. Highly recommend!
September 29, 2012
This story was everything I expected based on the title and summary on the back cover, but it was also more than expected. The relationship, past and present, between sisters Rachel and Beth, was really the main story. Beth's developmental disabilities make her unique -- at times very obsessive, loud in appearance and speech, illogical, obstinant, unaware of herself, and childish. Rachel, 11 months older, is not disabled in the ways that Beth is, but she is depressed and has been depressed for a long time. Rachel accepts Beth's challenge to ride the city buses with her, as this is what Beth does every day. Rachel and Beth learn a great deal about each other and about themselves. We learn about their family and the various events that wreaked so much havoc on their home life. In the end, Rachel learns so much from Beth, from the bus drivers (wonderful characters in this story), and even just from taking the time off from her depressed life to ride the buses (giving her time to think), that it really changes her life for the better. It's a lovely memoir, easy to read and yet full of the stuff of really living.
May 19, 2012
This memoir follows a year in the life of the author as she attempts to reconnect with her developmentally delayed sister, who spends nearly every waking moment riding public transportation and seeing life through the eyes of the bus drivers. The book splits into sections, with a modern day chapter followed by a look to the past describing the sisters' childhoods. Each of these flashback sections is told in the voice of her age at the time, so the earliest ones are told from a child's perspective, as she starts to pick up on her parents' whisperings that her baby sister is "different." The teenage sections are told in the voice of someone beginning to fully understand the frustrations of living with a delayed sibling, and then the disgust with herself for being impatient. These flashbacks were the strongest parts of the story, and some of what they lived through is truly telling in how their lives are being lived today. The author pulls no punches, showing love at who her sister is, and frustration that she doesn't seem to want to DO anything with her life. In the end it was a journey of growth for the author.
August 7, 2014
I am not sure what I expected from this book. I was looking for a different title at my library and this caught my eye. It seemed interesting, so I brought it home. Interesting is a good word for this memoir.
I truly thought it would be about Simon and her sister as their relationship was in 2002. What I did not realize, but probably should was that their story was not that simple. Simon had issues with her family, especially her mother, that she needed to deal with. so that became part of her tale. I was surprised by some of the things her mother had done, but we all make mistakes.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to have a sibling who has mental health issues. Simon gave me a glimpse into her life and what her sister's routine is like. She is honest in her writing. She doesn't always find it easy to deal with her sister and she is clear about that.
All in all, a thoughtful book that leaves the reader with things to consider. I am grateful to Simon for her willingness to share her life.
I truly thought it would be about Simon and her sister as their relationship was in 2002. What I did not realize, but probably should was that their story was not that simple. Simon had issues with her family, especially her mother, that she needed to deal with. so that became part of her tale. I was surprised by some of the things her mother had done, but we all make mistakes.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to have a sibling who has mental health issues. Simon gave me a glimpse into her life and what her sister's routine is like. She is honest in her writing. She doesn't always find it easy to deal with her sister and she is clear about that.
All in all, a thoughtful book that leaves the reader with things to consider. I am grateful to Simon for her willingness to share her life.
August 3, 2019
Ms. Simon writes an honest and open-hearted memoir about her family, specifically, her sister who has developmental disabilities-and her journey to not only understand, but to love without judgement. I found myself wrapped up in their year of traveling the buses together, and loving the kind people, drivers, and friends made along the way. Her style of writing her past memories in italics was something I appreciated. She wrote with just enough suspense to keep you moving along, but not so much that you had to read too fast just to get to the point. I recommend this book, both as a memoir, and a guide to those who want an inside look at how one family dealt with a difficult, but often disarming person , whom they love.
March 2, 2010
Although it was a nice story, this book was a disappointment. I didn't feel emotionally attached to the characters, and the writing felt sort of flat. And while I'm sure for the sake of the book, the author didn't write about the hours and hours in which nothing profound was said by the bus drivers, it just seemed odd and unrealistic that the drivers would be so philosophical and spiritual and stuff every time they opened their mouths. It was quite predictible, too, and I was quite bored halfway through the book, and I couldn't wait to finish it so I could start something new.
May 13, 2009
Just...eh.
Some good parts, but mostly I didn't care much for the author. For some reason I just couldn't relate to her. I was waiting for some grand realizations and really deep thoughts on having a sibling with a disability, but, aside from a few hints, this book failed to give it. Also, it was tied up much too neatly and perfectly at the end, which drives me crazy.
Worth reading, I guess, but if you're looking for a life-changing book on disability issues, this isn't it.
Some good parts, but mostly I didn't care much for the author. For some reason I just couldn't relate to her. I was waiting for some grand realizations and really deep thoughts on having a sibling with a disability, but, aside from a few hints, this book failed to give it. Also, it was tied up much too neatly and perfectly at the end, which drives me crazy.
Worth reading, I guess, but if you're looking for a life-changing book on disability issues, this isn't it.
February 10, 2023
What a great bus ride! Did Beth ever turn the tables on Rachel! Rachel agrees to meet up with Beth every month and ride the buses with her, something Beth loves to do. Beth is mentally disabled and Rachel feels she will be helping her sister. And she does, in a way. But, more, Rachel learns from Beth and from Beth's mentors, the bus drivers, the really important things in life that Beth knows and Rachel has always missed.
March 5, 2019
Round up to 4.5 stars. Very honest and poignant. I’m so glad I decided to reread it.
May 2, 2019
Rounded up from 3.5
March 20, 2019
Thoughtful book about family relationships
The author has a sister, close in age, who has developmental disabilities. What used to be described as mental retardation. It wasn’t until both were in their late 30s and she committed to spend a year riding the buses in her sister’s city that Rachel (author) finally came to understand Beth, her sister: Beth’s reality, her limitations but also what Beth is capable of. With flashback descriptions of the family they grew up in, parents who were far from perfect but were determined that Beth would not be institutionalized, happy memories of their relationship but many frustrations too, Rachel takes us on a journey where we can understand better the major shift that has taken place in how people with developmental/intellectual disabilities (DD/ID) are treated in American society.
Beth lives on her own with support from her case management team. In terms of support, Beth has had a fantastic case management team and, through her obsession with riding the public buses in her city, has amazing support in an unusual sector—bus drivers. Rachel describes the group of drivers that befriend Beth, support her in ways that were heartwarming and surprising. Rachel makes the point that people who have DD/ID need that kind of support in order to be able to function in society but I couldn’t help feeling that we all do. That having that kind of support would make us kinder, more caring people. And actually that is what Rachel discovers in her year of riding with Beth, that she had cut herself off emotionally, discounted the importance of personal relationships, friends and lovers.
This is where the book veers a bit into “happily ever after” for Rachel. To her credit though, Rachel only adds that in ten years after her original book ended. And only at the urging of her publisher.
This review doesn’t really do the book justice. There is a lot to think about, chew over, in terms of how we view/feel about people who are differently abled, how we view people we meet even on a casual basis. Do we support a diverse society that includes people with special needs, people who are not like us, people that might make us uncomfortable at first? And are we willing to do that for people without visible disabilities, people who believe differently to us? Are we willing to do the work to have relationships with them? Questions that I am still chewing over myself.
The author has a sister, close in age, who has developmental disabilities. What used to be described as mental retardation. It wasn’t until both were in their late 30s and she committed to spend a year riding the buses in her sister’s city that Rachel (author) finally came to understand Beth, her sister: Beth’s reality, her limitations but also what Beth is capable of. With flashback descriptions of the family they grew up in, parents who were far from perfect but were determined that Beth would not be institutionalized, happy memories of their relationship but many frustrations too, Rachel takes us on a journey where we can understand better the major shift that has taken place in how people with developmental/intellectual disabilities (DD/ID) are treated in American society.
Beth lives on her own with support from her case management team. In terms of support, Beth has had a fantastic case management team and, through her obsession with riding the public buses in her city, has amazing support in an unusual sector—bus drivers. Rachel describes the group of drivers that befriend Beth, support her in ways that were heartwarming and surprising. Rachel makes the point that people who have DD/ID need that kind of support in order to be able to function in society but I couldn’t help feeling that we all do. That having that kind of support would make us kinder, more caring people. And actually that is what Rachel discovers in her year of riding with Beth, that she had cut herself off emotionally, discounted the importance of personal relationships, friends and lovers.
This is where the book veers a bit into “happily ever after” for Rachel. To her credit though, Rachel only adds that in ten years after her original book ended. And only at the urging of her publisher.
This review doesn’t really do the book justice. There is a lot to think about, chew over, in terms of how we view/feel about people who are differently abled, how we view people we meet even on a casual basis. Do we support a diverse society that includes people with special needs, people who are not like us, people that might make us uncomfortable at first? And are we willing to do that for people without visible disabilities, people who believe differently to us? Are we willing to do the work to have relationships with them? Questions that I am still chewing over myself.
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