Overcoming Anger And Irritability

Overcoming

by William H. Davies, James Le Fanu

This is a self-help manual for those who find that they are spoiling the lives of both themselves and those around them with their almost constant irritability and flashes of bad temper. It speaks to those who often find themselves saying and doing things they later regret. It will help the reader understand why such behavior occurs and what can be done to prevent it. Like all the "Overcoming" guides it takes a positive approach for which the long-term goal in this case is lasting 'good temper' and also looks at how best to handle situations which would tax even the most good-natured person!

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health

Paperback

First published August 31, 2000

About the author

Dr. William Davies (b. 1950) is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist and Academic Director of APT (The Association for Psychological Therapies). Previously, he was a Consultant Psychologist and Head of Psychology at St Andrew’s Healthcare, Northampton, a national resource for difficult to manage patients.

Reviews

[Aless · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5-4 stars
My work library has several of these Overcoming series books available as part of general wellbeing help. I just happened to see them and thought this one could be interesting or useful. I haven't really read about anger or irritability in much detail before and the others in this series available in the library didn't seem relevant to me.

So after reading it turns out I've never had an anger problem at all, some of the advice was useful in here but it wasn't really what I was personally looking for. It wasn't a bad book but I'm just not someone who goes out of control during anger by getting physically violent, in shouting matches or major arguments that cause lots of problems. I suppose at times I've been irritable in the past but just temporarily and usually only when having a bad time for whatever reason.

Not really major new information but it was useful to learn you can eliminate or reign in irritability by the basics of looking after yourself with consistent good sleep, exercise and diet, plus limiting of alcohol/drugs/caffeine etc. The routine and consistency helps with your mood so that you are much less likely to be irritable or get angry in the first place.
Those are the biological factors. It is explained how individual existing beliefs also play a part in whether someone will get angry, not just a single triggering event. After the trigger there may be inhibitors that stop someone from acting in a certain way. So someone may not say or do anything at all, or they might shout, or they might get violent. Most people don't want to go to prison so wouldn't get violent as a basic example.

The author does state that anger is not wrong, and it has a valid place in the range of emotions. Also it is most useful in small doses, but after that usually causes trouble. If people did not have visible reactions to behaviour how would anyone learn how to behave. Anger is meant to show disapproval and to encourage others to stop in their offending behaviour. I think there is so much vagueness spoken about anger that this very simple description is very useful.

This is my problem with this book because it doesn't mention the fact that the general understanding of anger has become toxic in society. It doesn't mention anything about the gaslighting and shaming people receive just for having an emotion. It is often labelled as a 'bad emotion' or as a sin. The overall suggestions in this book seem to always lead you towards not reacting immediately, and having only a minimal or mild response after you've decided what action to take. Well that's ok for some incidents as a general rule but there are some things in life that are so bad, wrong, disgusting or abusive that I don't see how that can always be a suitable response.

Basically, if you've been shamed and invalidated your whole childhood for having a single negative emotion and don't know how to use your voice or express your anger or other feelings, this book doesn't help with that at all. It definitely has it's place and is useful in some ways which is why I've given it a decent overall rating.
Finally I would have liked more examples of incidents where someone got angry for x reason and then analysed. There were several but they also got repeated a lot, and I like real life examples because it's easier to understand a concept.

[Laurencia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Credibility check: I was always easily irritated, and friends and family would tell me (or whisper between themselves) that I have "anger management issues".

Bought this book two months back, as a feeble attempt to trick myself into thinking that I was going to work on my anger issues. Naturally, when the book arrived, I took one look at it, didn't felt much hope, and left it in my cupboard. Two weeks ago, a major incident happened. Driven by sheer desperation, I picked up this book while maintaining my belief that I would not get anything out of it. Needless to say, I was wrong. I was stunned and amazed at how simple the methods were, and that they actually work. Dr. William did an incredible job at both explaining and helping you understand the hidden forces behind what makes us quick to anger, and how with conscious practice, they can be eradicated or at least controlled.

I highly recommend this book to anyone whose anger is impacting their lives, relationships, and the ability to be better.

[Ewa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Książka kupiona na kiermaszu. Bardzo, bardzo dobra. Pierwsze wydanie chyba z roku 2000 i jest to konkretna pozycja napisana przez specjalistę, nie przez influencera z Instagrama. Na razie książkę przeczytałam, teraz czas do niej wracać i pracować z nią, czyli wykonywać opisane zadania, aby poprawić swoje samopoczucie. Polecam. ❤️

[Miri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is practical and full of realistic suggestions on how to manage and reduce anger. I was able to implement strategies from this book as I was reading it. There are so many tools and techniques; to the point where I use the strategies that are easiest for me right now, but am well aware that there are so many more ways to make it even better.

There are also a lot of projects you can do (if you have the time and inclination). I know that doing them would be immensely beneficial and perhaps I will get around to them one day.

What a great book!

[Liisa Aavik · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a very useful tool for psychologist or a person with anger and irritability management issues. Some advice regarding depression-related issues was maybe a bit too general, but the author also mentioned that for that you should read a more specific book.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a huge evidence base around the value of reading to support health and wellbeing. A large number of self-help books have been published. The ‘Overcoming’ series contains over 30 titles that cover a range of difficulties (including but not restricted to mental health problems) that are amenable to a CBT approach.

‘Overcoming Anger and Irritability: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques’, written by psychologist William Davies, delivers exactly what it says on the tin.

The book is divided into three parts. The first provides ‘psycho-education’: Davies initially explains what anger and irritability are, distinguishing these emotions from hostility, aggression and violence. He then explores what drives anger (irritants/triggers) and what helps keep anger at bay (inhibitions). He also examines the role of appraisal or judgment, beliefs and moods in shaping the response to anger.

Having constructed this model to help our understanding of anger, he moves on to the second part of the book: the solutions. Here he introduces a variety of evidence-based CBT techniques to help the reader manage their anger. These are the same techniques used in face-to-face anger management courses.

But Davies goes beyond just anger management. In the last chapter of the second part of the book, he takes a more holistic bio-psycho-social approach, where he examines a number of factors that may not directly cause anger, but can contribute to a lesser or greater extent. Having already mentioned these factors (nutrition, substances, sleep, exercise, physical illness, routine, social factors, life stressors) in the first part of the book, he now takes a more practical approach about what can be done.

I think this approach ties well with the concept of the ‘aggregation of marginal gains’. Made famous by Dave Brailsford, the cycling coach and manager of Team Sky, this concept emphasises the importance of making small improvements in different areas. These small improvements add up to a significant improvement when they are all added together. For Brailsford, the idea is that if you improved every area related to cycling by just 1 percent, then those small (marginal) gains would add up to remarkable improvement. For me, as a Psychiatrist, this approach can be introduced into key areas of our daily life, to maximise our wellbeing and contribute to a happier and healthier life. When it comes to anger management, this approach becomes even more important.

The final part of ‘Overcoming Anger and Irritability’ encourages the reader to reflect. Despite being the shorter part of the book, it should not be overlooked, or even underestimated.

As a Psychiatrist, I have often prescribed this book. In my opinion, it does not only compliment face-to-face anger management, but it also has the potential to help people manage their anger even when used on its own.

[Trevor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oddly enough, I read this book because I thought it was written by the other William Davies. Who writes about economics and social theory and who I would recommend without hesitation. It didn’t take long to realise my mistake, which was an irritation, obviously, but not so irritating that it made me angry. I’m not particularly prone to anger. Which, in itself, might be something of a flaw. But I do get irritated at times. I read on, despite quickly learning my mistake.

This isn’t a terrible book. It essentially argues that you can reframe situations so that they become less irritating and less likely to make you angry. That sometimes it is okay to be irritated and even angry, but that both need to be short lived – since they are likely to otherwise prove self-defeating. There are lots of little stories throughout of people getting upset over things and how they might have reframed these – and these are probably quite useful if you are prone to over-reacting. I got a bit bored towards the end, to be honest. All the same, the book is what it is – a kind of self-help book written by someone who is an expert in the field. Not really the sort of book I would normally read.

[Jonathan Griffin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a useful book if you want to engage with your feelings in a more considered, thoughtful manner. Much of the advice focuses on the benefits of delaying anger in the belief that it dissipates, which is perhaps largely true. But what about those instances where being silent and letting things calm down is difficult because another party is asking you for a response? Or what about the righteous anger that often lingers after one has been unfairly castigated in public? Both of these scenarios feel like significant omissions for an otherwise comprehensive book.

Lots of different anger management techniques are detailed here. My favourite ones include the ‘traffic light method’ and the ‘Trigger, Appraisal, Response’ strategy. I haven’t yet implemented an “aviation-style inquiry” into anger near misses though, that seems pretty hardcore. And the suggestion that a man complaining about a football hitting his front door should speak to his neighbours about it every time it happens or join in, is for the birds. But ultimately there are enough interesting ideas here to make reading this book worthwhile.

[Pippa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book which looked at the kind of thought patterns that are more likely to make you angry, and at actions you can take to deal with angry feelings. It was quite repetitive because it used the same incidents to illustrate different points and strategies. The anger I get is mostly to do with boredom and frustration, so I did find myself, ironically, getting angry with it, and crossly skim-reading at times. I also thought the vocabulary was mostly assuming a level of education which some people might not have... and some of the thought patterns described seemed obviously strange.

BUT, having said that, the book did cover some useful ground, and I think it could be very useful.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting read. Struggled with the exercises though. Some of them made me feel worse because I couldn’t come up with better alternatives.

I found some of the repetitive examples quite annoying too. I had to laugh at the one where the mother says ‘clear it up, there’s a good boy’

If someone said ‘there’s a good girl’ to me I’d get absolutely furious. It’s so condescending.
I’d rather be screamed at for being useless than told that. Ughhhhhhh

So, not totally cured of anger and irritability then

[Jee · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give this book 10 more stars I would’ve. This book is definitely my top 3 to recommend someone who struggles with anger and irritability. I struggle with angry management and irritability my entire life and this book changed my life. It’s not it’s about how to manage angry and irritability but about how to control and manage your emotion overall. Highly, HIGHLY recommend.

[Nandhy Poetri · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bahasannya mutar2 terus. Tiap bab yg dibahas seputaran itu aja. Sebenarnya lumayan isinya, tp karena muter2 jadinya bikin bosan bacanya. Bab2 terakhir akhirnya cuma baca sepintas2. Kayaknya kalau bahasannya tidak itu2 aja buku ini bisa under 200halaman

[Vasco · Rating 4 out of 5]

The bad: nothing of note.

The good: very interesting book with concrete strategies. It's tangible, systematic and effective. Very good read.

[Lauren Nesbitt · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really couldn’t get into this book at all. It actually made my mental health worse so I decided to put it down.

[Stephen Lockett · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book worked for , mind you I had to also read Chimp Paradox before I mastered myself

[Shirin Abdel Rahman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very useful book even if you don't have Anger issues.

[Peter Donovan · Rating 3 out of 5]

No one knows what causes anger and irritability but you can control it and learn to live with it.

[Fadhil Supian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Provide a charted of system on anger, which made that insightful thoughts useful.

Thanks davies !

[Anissa Rezy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful even though kinda repetitive. But it does matter and sometime people forget about small things, like sleep or healthy diet. Definetly will use it towards my clients

[Hang · Rating 2 out of 5]

Appreciated the ideas given in this book but looks to me that the researching part is not that deep. Ideas are repetitive in other books, no fresh perspective found on anger.

[Steven Lloyd · Rating 2 out of 5]

The examples in this book are largely overused & becomes boring

[Pablo · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a very short book and it feels very actionable. I have the impression it applies more to people that have bouts of anger than someone who has an annoying constant background level of anger.

[Saffron · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit repetitive in it's use if case studies but a good starting point to make you stop and think about actions before making rash decisions.

This book will not solve all the issues that come up with anger and irritability but a good look into basic useable CBT techniques, written in a friendly easy to read format.

[Kristen MacGregor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another good self help. This one is a bit different though because it seems like most of them spend the majority of the book explaining why you need the self-help steps and only a few chapters on how to actually make the changes they suggest. But this book only spends 1/3 of the book talking about anger and irritability and why some people need to overcome certain aspects of it. The rest of the book is exercises working you through how to change yourself. I think the working model he comes up with about what influences our tempers is quite interesting- from certain triggers, to our beliefs and even our current moods.

[Devorah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another practical book, using a small number of incidents and a really useful chart to illustrate how anger and irritability are triggered and how they can be understood and managed for better outcomes.

[Hard Knocks 101 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a quick and easy read. It's very easy to understand and sheds a lot of light on issues everyone deals with ranging from body image issues to anger management. This book would be helpful to all ages.

[Hillingdon Libraries]

Find this book at Hillingdon Libraries

[Shiraz Esat · Rating 5 out of 5]

OK. I'm lying when I say I've finished this book; I have yet to work through the exercises in Part Two.
But, Part One is excellent and helpful in itself.
Judging by the state of the Internet, this is a must have reference book needed on most of our bookshelves.

[Awehla · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn't read all the book, got it out of the library on a bit of an impulse.

[Stephen Sell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative, concise, and factual.