My boss gave me this book as a Christmas gift in 2023, and I remember thinking that it would be an excellent day-to-day bookmark for my life throughout the next year. I told myself that I would use it as a way to savor each day, finding the time to listen intently to each day's offering and reflect on what has happened over the course of that particular day, in conjunction with what I read about in Clemency Burton-Hill's write-up on the history of the piece.
For this reason, it made me feel many different things on both ends of a positive-negative spectrum, if only for what it symbolized, and for the unfair expectations I placed on it: pressure to be present each day and to be in the mood to discover something new, which wasn't always the case; joy at having found pieces that I never would have found on my own, with my rigid, artist-first view of the world; anxiety as I fell behind in the middle of the year; overwhelmed as I tried to double up on all the time I missed; unfair for missing the specific days I was to listen to specific pieces, as music always has a temporal and seasonal quality to me, meaning different things at different times of the year -- listening to a June piece in the middle of November certainly felt off-putting, while listening to a piece in February that always reminded me of September felt strange, as well; ecstasy when the book worked the way I wanted it to, some combination of sheer perceptional force and happy accident, depending on what was going on in my life and the way the piece interacted with events; and on and on.
In any case, one thing I'm learning about myself is that I place too much pressure on my expectation of things, something I've always been conscious and aware of but rarely have made much effort, at least as of late, to undo (I think I did a better job 7 or 8 years ago than I do now). If it's fighting your nature though, is it unwise? I tried to challenge that throughout my so-called "fun era" (which incidentally led to the drop off during the summer months in my listening activity) to middling results. Maybe 2025 will be my year of calm. But there I go again, setting a plan for something as unpredictable as whatever will happen tomorrow, or the next day, or the next month, or 6 months from now.
Nevertheless, many of my favorite pieces as they reminded me of the time that has passed, times that are now gone, times that were so intense that they stick out in my mind and feel as if I haven't left, are listed below:
January 1 - Mass in B minor, BWV 232, 3: Sanctus, by Johann Sebastian Bach
Coming back from a New Year's Eve party in which I left my closet light on, and coming down from a high in which I found people in the world who were like me (we follow each other on Goodreads, so if you're reading this, shoutout to you lot). I finally felt as if I had found a home outside of family, finally felt as if I found community, a word I wish to emphasize because, for some reason, it seems like it doesn't do justice to what I felt, as "feeling community" suggests so much more than just a group of people for whom you share common interests, lifestyles, and values. The word can't possibly suggest just how much I felt I belonged somewhere, but maybe it comes close. This piece greeted me with the hope I felt going into the New Year, that I would get so much of my film work done, learn a new language, heal the wounds of my previous relationship (2023's, that is), learn more about classical music, etc.
January 8 - Concerto Grosso in D major, op. 6 no. 1, 2: Largo, by Arcangelo Corelli
Learning about a baroque era artist not named Bach or Vivaldi had the effect of revealing just how small and ignorant you might feel when you start to understand just how much you don't know. Though it was later in the year, this piece came in handy with a sound engineer I worked with, but I'll get to that later.
January 9 - Requiem Mass, 3: Offertorio: Domine Jesu Christe, by Giuseppe Verde
The first piece I was absolutely obsessed with. Drove with brother in the car down some interstate highway, I don't remember where or what the occassion was; scenes of winter and dirty snow play whenever I hear this piece, though. Also think of Lo, who came to my apartment while I was getting ready for trivia. I told them how much I adored it and played it for them. They called their mother shortly after, saying something to the effect of, "He's literally listening to opera music unironically."
January 18 - 'Dirait-on' Should We Say, from Les chansons des roses, by Morten Lauridsen
A song that symbolized the hope, calm, and near inevitability of the start of a new romance for me. Another one that I was absolutely obsessed with.
January 21 - Trauermusik by Paul Hindemith
The story is remarkable. Also a love at first hearing type song, it reminded me of the recent rekindling of love I had for Francois Truffaut, whose 70s work seemed to intermingle with this piece, though of course it was after the fact (still figuring out how to write about the feeling of intensity I have towards certain works of art in one period of my life, and how the meaningfulness of that intensity gets reawakened by other work that reminds me of it; almost like seeing it anew through the lens of another artist). Nick came by about a month or two later, where I spoke about the anxiety of all the romances in my life over the past 7 or 8 months; Mr. Hindemith was playing in the background while we talked about his (PH's, not Nick's) frustration towards atonal music.
January 30 - Violin Sonata no 1 in A major, op. 13, 1: Allegro molto, by Gabriel Faure
I missed the last few days of listening at this point. I shut myself in my office, determined to catch up. I put my headphones on, closed my eyes. My boss knocked on my door, but I didn't hear her. She crept in, grabbed what she needed without my noticing, shut the door, and then laughed at me, a few hours later, doing an impression of me with my eyes shut. My first exposure to Faure; I remember Richard Brody's brief but enthusiastic tweets about him.
February 14 - Concerto for two violins in D minor, BWV 1043, 2: Largo ma non tanto, by JS Bach
Shortly after Grandpa's death, the day of the wake. Still filled with hope at the idea of a loving, but soon to be ending romance saving me, which this song accompanied. Talked to the sound engineer mentioned above about this piece, named it as my favorite by JS Bach. He was a former violinist and named Mozart, Corelli, and Bach as his 3 favorites.
February 18 - Theme from Schindler's List, John Williams
Loved it upon first hearing it, though I don't care for Mr. Spielberg's films. Brother came across this piece around Christmas and loved it to. After watching the movie (he didn't like it), he said something to the effect of, "Pity that this song is so good." It was odd rehearing this piece at the end of the year.
February 21 - Ein deutsches Requiem (A German Requiem) - 1: 'Selig sind, die da Leid tragen' ('Blessed are they that mourn) by Johannes Brahms
A piece that formed the backdrop of said ill-fated romance with a dear friend. I listened to this piece on repeat as the sun set over Route 1-9, as I took the toll-free route to her apartment after work. I was bewitched, and it's quite funny that something so funereal reminds me of a connection that felt so strong and lively at the time. It was later to reflect the severance, however; song and life align.
March 7 - Piano Concerto in G major, 2: Adagio assai by Maurice Ravel
On a walk with the brother when this song came up. He told me that he'd loved this piece for a long time; I was shocked that I couldn't remember his use of it in a movie he made when he was in high school. We were walking through Donaldson Park, it was foggy and flooded in areas, we were leaping over many puddles. We played it a few times over.
March 9 - Violin Concerto, op. 14, 2 Andante by Samuel Barber
Same memory from above. Leaping over puddles music, I'll call it.
April 1 - Piano Concerto no. 1 in B flat minor, op. 23, 1: Allegro non troppo e molto maestoso
Walked through Highland Park on a Sunday with the brother in which this song played and we saw people going to Church. This may have been when we went to the Greek store and purchased Digestive Cookies.
April 6 - Symphony no. 101 in D major ('Clock'), 2: Andante by Joseph Haydn
Hadn't really listened to Haydn outside of a manic period in 2020, where I was interested in his String Quartets for a film I made that year. Was delighted by this piece, which later accompanied me to my first classical music concert, a month later; they didn't play this, but the qualities I loved in their performance reminded me of my love of this; back and forth in time we go.
April 12 - Metamorphosen by Richard Strauss
The bar down the street from me hosts a classical music concert by string players on the first Monday of every month; I met and became friends with the lead, Sam, there. We spoke for a bit that evening, but our friendship didn't quite take off until a month or so later. I met her outside, drinking with others who were soon to become friends I greet joyfully every time I see them, and mentioned my love for this piece. Her eyes lit up and we spoke about it for a bit.
April 15 - Piano Concerto no. 2 in F minor, op. 21, 2: Larghetto by Frederic Chopin
Had been holding Chopin at arm's length for most of my re-entry into classical music, which started in February of 2022 and has not let up. Had a funny interaction with EJ on this piece, at the bar classical music concert.
May 6 - Maiblumen bluhten iiberall - May-flowers are Blooming Everywhere by Alexander von Zemlinsky
A piece that reminds me of Alan and the bookstore that I volunteered at weekly throughout the first 8 or 9 months of the year. I was both enchanted at its power and embarrassed by it playing over the loudspeaker in the store, such was its oddness to people whose tastes I didn't know anything about. Am I bothering them by playing out there music while they browse?
May 15 - Cantique de Jean Racine, op. 11 by Gabriel Faure
I walked into my boss's office, shut the door, played the piece in full without a word or a hint of introduction; we both cried together. Maybe my favorite discovery of the year.
May 19 - Symphhony no. 1 in C Minor, 4: Allegro maestoso by Alice Mary Smith
No memory to share, just being obsessed with a happier piece for once; it is one of the few classical pieces I can recall amost instantaneously.
May 23 - Romance for violin and piano, op. 23 by Amy Beach
Sat my dad down and we listened to this together, in silence. I asked him if he liked it, to which he responded positively. I don't remember what we were talking about; probably spirituality.
May 31 - Piano Quntet no. 1 in A minor, op. 30, 1: Allegro by Louise Farrenc
I recall September more for this one, though I can't remember why. This reminds me of a trip to New York on NJ Transit, though I don't recall the occassion. Nevertheless, I listened to it over and over on the train, fully enraptured.
June 3 - Ave Maria by Charles Gounod, after JS Bach
Before trivia, asked Lo once to sit and read with me while this piece played in the background; accidentally played it twice over, from different performers. "Don't recognize this one!" I remember them saying when it played the second time. We got Honeygrew for dinner.
June 7 - Raga Piloo, Traditional Indian Version by Ravi Shankar and Yehudi Menuhin
Two memories: in the first, had a therapy session over this piece and the way I almost force myself to examine something deeply until I like it; the second, this piece was playing in the background in the car in July, when one of the lead actresses from my film asked me on a date, after I dropped her off at her apartment. We were seeing diaristic films at a bookstore in Brooklyn. She said, "Don't worry, I like Ravi Shankar." Was really quite blown away. The date was amiable but filled with conflicted feelings; it didn't last.
June 9 - Sinfonia concertante for violin and viola in E flat major, K. 364, 1: Allegro maestoso by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Listened to this one, thinking, as I usually do with Mozart, "Why can't I recall his work as easily as I do Beethoven's?" Was on my way to a date in Brooklyn, sometime in July or August, that began and ended weirdly. This piece accompanied me before and after. Still can't recall it until it plays, in which the effects of listening to it on repeat for almost 3 hours start to show.
June 13 - The Salley Gardens by Benjamin Britten
Sent to dear friends Shawn and Lauren; for whatever reason, despite the content of the song, I wanted to share it with them.
June 14 - The Lark Ascending by Ralph Vaughan Williams
My therapist stopped me from using this as the background music for our session once.
July 1 - Gymnopedie no. 1 by Erik Satie
Lo sent me a hip-hop song that sampled this piece, asking me which one it was. This was in November I think. I sent them the piece, thinking, excitedly, "OOH! I just heard this piece!" as I was doubling up on all that I missed by that point in the year.
July 6 - 'My Ship', from Lady in the Dark by Kurt Weill
A piece I loved so much I shared with the people I "felt community" with, and got varying but intellectually stimulating responses from the 3 of them.
July 7 - Symphony no. 5 in C sharp minor, 4: Adagietto: Sehr langsam - very slowly by Gustav Mahler
Went on a walk with Michael, manager of the bookstore, in November. He works down the street from me at my fulltime job. We spoke about his love of Mahler's symphonies, and I shared that I had been listening to this piece on repeat. He said it was so "lovely, heavenly."
July 22 - The Homeless Wanderer by Emahoy Tsegue-Maryam Guebrou
Went crazy when I heard the first few notes, trying to recall where I first heard it. Then: Dad's messaging ringtone for a while, though I don't think he knew this piece. Reminded me of when Shawn told my second girlfriend Kelli and I about his love of Ethiopian jazz (the composer being Ethiopian).
July 30 - Eternal Source of Light Divine (Ode for the Birthday of Queen Anne), 1, by George Friederic Handel
This piece accompanied me on my way to Philadelphia to meet up with Kathleen and Zach in November, months after K and I reconnected earlier in the year. A philosopher, incredibly intelligent, perspicacious.
August 18 - Symphony no. 35 in D major, K. 385 ('Haffner'), 1: Allegro con spirito by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Still couldn't get Mozart under my control, and yet, still can recall, for large passages, the melodies as soon as the song begins playing.
August 30 - Serenade for Strings in E flat major, op. 6, 3: Adagio - Piu andante - Tempo 1 by Josef Suk
A few days prior, finally started listening to the pieces in this book after a 3 month hiatus. This came a few days into the rekindling; was talking to a girl in Connecticut who I would go on a date with a few days later, shared this song with her; she said that it was too slow for her tastes, and that she didn't like strings. Still, she was wonderful. Woke up a few days ago with this piece in my head.
September 3 - Gnossienne no. 1 by Erik Satie
Had the people for whom I "feel community" with over for an underwhelming (not because of them, because of the event), wine-filled Halloween dance party at my local bar; this piece came on and Delilah asked, "What piece was that?" wanting to confirm if it was the piece she was thinking of. She had it on a playlist some time ago, after searching for it for years, if I remember her story correctly.
September 7 - Suite popular brasileira, 4: 'Gavotta-choro' by Heitor Villa-Lobos
Kept thinking of a piece from Mekong Hotel for some reason, despite there being continent's worth of differences.
September 12 - Adagio and Allegro for cello and piano, op. 70 by Robert Schumann
Late in 2023, I was playing a Brahms symphony at the bookstore. A guy a few years older than me came in and stopped. He came up to me, named the exact symphony and movement (1st mvt. of Brahms' Symphony No. 2). We talked about classical music for a bit; he recommended this Schumann piece to me, which I listened to on my car ride home, and was subsequently re-enamored with upon coming across it again, a little less than a year later.
September 20 - Violin Concerto in D minor, op. 47, 2: Adagio di molto by Jean Sibelius
At one of Pino's classical music concerts, I heard a tune that I liked but didn't recognize. I asked one of the new, older friends, Ira, whether he knew it. He shrugged and said, "Maybe Sibelius?" I laughed and said, "I just discovered him today!" We turned away from each other and got carried away in the music again. Later shared this with Michael, who exclaimed "Sibelius!" over text.
September 30 - 'Au fond du temple saint' - 'At the back of the holy temple' from The Pearl Fishers by Georges Bizet
Just memories of playing this piece over and over again while on my way to work. Another piece where I felt as if I was possessed by it.
October 6 - Autumn by Frank Bridge
A piece I wanted to share with a girl I was seeing, though it symbolized how awful that whole "romance" was. I wanted to use it as an excuse to talk, since she seemed to be the type moved by poetry; not so. Still, I love this piece.
October 11 - Symphony no. 9 in D minor, 3: Adagio: Langsam, feierlich - slowly, solemnly by Anton Bruckner
Was on a walk through Morristown with brother, while this song played on repeat in my pocket. We spoke about Vertigo, walked in a nice arboreum (I forget how you spell it). This piece accompanied me throughout the day.
November 7 - 'La Nuit et l'amour' - 'Night and Love', Interlude from Ludus pro patria by Augusta Holmes
Good God. I fell in love with this piece almost immediately, and the history behind it and Ms Holmes' life made me want to do the unthinkable: make a movie. I have been on hiatus from filmmaking because of how awful my previous experience was. Will this piece thaw the ice of my brittle heart? Hearing it dozens of times at the end of the year makes it that much closer.
November 8 - Piano Quintet in F minor, M. 7, 1: Molto moderato quasi lento - Allegro by Cesar Franck
Sat in near silence, in Lo's and LeAnn's apartment, as this piece played and I told them the history of it. They liked it, at least as far as I could tell. LeAnn commented on the insanity of classical music composers and their personal lives.
December 4 - Violin Concerto in D major, op. 35, 1. Allegro moderato by Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky
Kept thinking of the romantic theme from Star Wars for whatever reason. Went crazy for a day trying to find the similarities.
December 12 - Jesus Christ the Apple Tree by Elizabeth Poston
Shared this with my dad as a way to unite our sensibilities: mine, classical music; his, Christmas music. He played along with me, putting on another playlist with Christmas classical music, more so classical renditions of the pop tunes. I relented. This song came on and I pointed to it: "Look! Overlap!" I think I said.
December 21 - Overture from Nutcracker Suite by Duke Ellington after Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Still amazed by the story the record company thought up to sell this one. Showed it to my Uncle Joe since I was so amused. Couldn't stop playing it while I was staying at my Dad's for Christmas.
December 24 - Siegfried Idyll by Richard Wagner
A piece I shared with sister as I thought she would like the story behind it. Brother came back with a piece that grabbed his attention, off the same album; I thought it was this one, but no. Was on my mind a few days ago.
December 31 - Champagne Polka by Johann Strauss II
On my way to the event that started it all, The Height's New Year's Eve party. I'm worn, but what a year it was. I love each and everyone of the friends and family I have mentioned here.