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The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family: A Leadership Fable...About Restoring Sanity To The Most Important Organization In Your Life
In this groundbreaking audiobook, business consultant Patrick Lencioni turns his sights on the most important organization in our lives–the family. Lencioni realized the discrepancy between the time and energy his clients put into running their organizations and the reactive way most people run their personal lives. Having experienced the stress of a frantic family firsthand, he and his wife began applying some of the tools he uses with Fortune 500 companies at home, and with surprising results.
The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family is written as a fable, using realistic and humorous characters and plotlines. Listeners will be amazed how just a little bit of structure and a few minutes of follow-through each week can make the difference between drudgery and fulfillment at home.
The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family is written as a fable, using realistic and humorous characters and plotlines. Listeners will be amazed how just a little bit of structure and a few minutes of follow-through each week can make the difference between drudgery and fulfillment at home.
Audio
First published January 1, 2008
176 people are currently reading
2633 people want to read
About the author
Patrick Lencioni
109 books2,522 followersPatrick Lencioni is a New York Times best-selling author, speaker, consultant and founder and president of The Table Group, a firm dedicated to helping organizations become healthy. Lencioni’s ideas around leadership, teamwork and employee engagement have impacted organizations around the globe. His books have sold nearly three million copies worldwide.
When Lencioni is not writing, he consults to CEOs and their executive teams, helping them to become more cohesive within the context of their business strategy. The widespread appeal of Lencioni’s leadership models have yielded a diverse base of clients, including a mix of Fortune 500 companies, professional sports organizations, the military, non-profits, universities and churches. In addition, Lencioni speaks to thousands of leaders each year at world class organizations and national conferences. He was recently cited in the Wall Street Journal as one of the most sought-after business speakers in the nation.
Prior to founding his firm, he worked as a corporate executive for Sybase, Oracle and Bain & Company. He also served on the National Board of Directors for the Make-A-Wish Foundation of America.
When Lencioni is not writing, he consults to CEOs and their executive teams, helping them to become more cohesive within the context of their business strategy. The widespread appeal of Lencioni’s leadership models have yielded a diverse base of clients, including a mix of Fortune 500 companies, professional sports organizations, the military, non-profits, universities and churches. In addition, Lencioni speaks to thousands of leaders each year at world class organizations and national conferences. He was recently cited in the Wall Street Journal as one of the most sought-after business speakers in the nation.
Prior to founding his firm, he worked as a corporate executive for Sybase, Oracle and Bain & Company. He also served on the National Board of Directors for the Make-A-Wish Foundation of America.
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July 24, 2014
This is another leadership fable from Pat Lencioni which attracted my attention due to very interesting angle of the management/strategy topic considered - leadership and management in families.
Author as always provides an fable from life before explaining the model itself. If you would ask me do give 1-sentence narrative of the book it would be: a family have to be managed as company, i.e. it should have a single and agreed upon values and strategy, shared context and clear and visible short-term priority to be accomplished.
So Author says that though families are inevitably frantic, stressful and challenging for all members and parents, if families use the proposed model they can achieve more meaningful, effective, fulfilling and happy family life.
The model proposes 3 questions to be first answered then constantly discussed and always shared on a visible place for example in the kitchen.
Question 1: What makes our family unique? - i.e. what differentiates your family from every other one you know? Answering this aims to reinstate the basis of your family - its core defining values and strategy they choose.
- What values you share specifically? As an example, these values can be found if parents think what inspired their relationship in the first place, and what it was about one another that made them consider getting married.
- What strategy you choose? It is nothing more than the two or three purposeful decisions a family makes that drives how it will live week by week, month by month, year by year.
Question 2: What is your family's top priority right now? This refers to a single, agreed-upon top priority, something the family can rally around for unity and maximum impact. The best way to determine that priority is to ask - "...if we accomplish just one thing as a family in coming 2-6 months, what that would be?"
Question 3: How do you talk about and use the answers to Question 1 and Question 2. The idea here is that the answers should be regularly discussed at meetings and also they have to be put in some place visible to all members of the family (eg. whiteboard in the kitchen).
To make the model work Author proposes to add to the picture:
- Defining objectives for Your family Top Priority (Question 2) - these are those steps/aspects of the top priority to be accomplished for the successful completion of top priority, and;
- Standard objectives - these are those standard objectives which should be monitored always, they can be Friends, Fitness, Finance, Faith, etc.
Here is the great template and summary of the model prepared by author http://www.tablegroup.com/imo/media/d...
It is also recommended to use color coding during meetings or on whiteboard to assess progress of each aspect of Defining objectives and Standard objectives - Green - on track, Yellow - at risk, Red - means you are way behind and it needs immediate attention.
All these done, we are achieving clear Context for the family. AND AUTHOR GIVES A GREAT STRESS TO VERY IMPORTANT IDEA TO ME - IMPORTANCE OF CONTEXT: without context every decision that confronts us, every situation we encounter, calls for unnecessary anxiety, stressful uncertainty, and unproductive conflict. Which, in turn, makes our lives much more challenging than they need to be.
In the bottom line, I rate this book with 5 stars for trying to cope with very difficult subject with such structured way, however sometimes the story line in the fable might be lost, but explanation and examples in the Model section are great! So enjoy and have great family in the most important organization of you life.
Author as always provides an fable from life before explaining the model itself. If you would ask me do give 1-sentence narrative of the book it would be: a family have to be managed as company, i.e. it should have a single and agreed upon values and strategy, shared context and clear and visible short-term priority to be accomplished.
So Author says that though families are inevitably frantic, stressful and challenging for all members and parents, if families use the proposed model they can achieve more meaningful, effective, fulfilling and happy family life.
The model proposes 3 questions to be first answered then constantly discussed and always shared on a visible place for example in the kitchen.
Question 1: What makes our family unique? - i.e. what differentiates your family from every other one you know? Answering this aims to reinstate the basis of your family - its core defining values and strategy they choose.
- What values you share specifically? As an example, these values can be found if parents think what inspired their relationship in the first place, and what it was about one another that made them consider getting married.
- What strategy you choose? It is nothing more than the two or three purposeful decisions a family makes that drives how it will live week by week, month by month, year by year.
Question 2: What is your family's top priority right now? This refers to a single, agreed-upon top priority, something the family can rally around for unity and maximum impact. The best way to determine that priority is to ask - "...if we accomplish just one thing as a family in coming 2-6 months, what that would be?"
Question 3: How do you talk about and use the answers to Question 1 and Question 2. The idea here is that the answers should be regularly discussed at meetings and also they have to be put in some place visible to all members of the family (eg. whiteboard in the kitchen).
To make the model work Author proposes to add to the picture:
- Defining objectives for Your family Top Priority (Question 2) - these are those steps/aspects of the top priority to be accomplished for the successful completion of top priority, and;
- Standard objectives - these are those standard objectives which should be monitored always, they can be Friends, Fitness, Finance, Faith, etc.
Here is the great template and summary of the model prepared by author http://www.tablegroup.com/imo/media/d...
It is also recommended to use color coding during meetings or on whiteboard to assess progress of each aspect of Defining objectives and Standard objectives - Green - on track, Yellow - at risk, Red - means you are way behind and it needs immediate attention.
All these done, we are achieving clear Context for the family. AND AUTHOR GIVES A GREAT STRESS TO VERY IMPORTANT IDEA TO ME - IMPORTANCE OF CONTEXT: without context every decision that confronts us, every situation we encounter, calls for unnecessary anxiety, stressful uncertainty, and unproductive conflict. Which, in turn, makes our lives much more challenging than they need to be.
In the bottom line, I rate this book with 5 stars for trying to cope with very difficult subject with such structured way, however sometimes the story line in the fable might be lost, but explanation and examples in the Model section are great! So enjoy and have great family in the most important organization of you life.
August 30, 2013
The gist of this book is quite simple. All you need to do is answer these three big questions:
1. What makes our family unique?
.... (include core values and anchor points)
2. What is our most important priority in the next two to six months?
.... 2a. To do that we will...
.... 2b. We will also have to stay on top of our regular responsibilities...
3. How will we use our answers and keep them alive?
That's it.
By core values, the author means 2-3 values your family rates highly. For me, they are honesty and dependability. For my brother, it's fun, (and he refuses to list more than that). By anchor points, he's referring to the things that are true about your family, as in, 'Mom stays at home,' or 'we go to church every week.'
2a and 2b refer to the direct objectives and standard objectives, respectively. This is basically four to five things you need to do to realize the priority in the next two to six months, and four to five things that need to keep happening in order for you to be happy and healthy (like managing finances, or continuing to work out).
#3 simply means that you schedule a time to look over both standard and direct objectives, and examine the priority to make certain that you're on the right track and that it's still the priority for you. To rate your success level on the standard and direct objectives, Lencioni recommends you use three colors: Green for going swimmingly, Yellow for needs work, but acceptable, and Red for this needs immediate attention.
----
The book is organized in a different way than I've seen up to now... but perhaps this is the style of Lencioni's 'leadership fables.'
75% of the book is a story about the Cousins family, whose story starts with the very simple "If my clients ran their businesses the way we ran this family, they'd be out of business." (non-verbatim), and ends with "If my employers ran their business the way you run your family, they wouldn't be going out of business." (non-verbatim).
About 15% of the book after that is a quick sort of 'cheat-sheet' to make sure you got the ideas described in the story and know how to apply them. If you're in a hurry, only this last bit needs to be read. (Start from The Model).
----
All in all, this was a quick educational read. I'm certain it can be applied to single people also. Or practically everyone. If you're ready to think carefully, you probably don't even need to read the book, and can use practically every other productivity suggestion in the world to modify to your family's needs. After all, this book espouses the same things everyone else does: Have a goal and work towards it by limiting the amount of other stuff you do.
1. What makes our family unique?
.... (include core values and anchor points)
2. What is our most important priority in the next two to six months?
.... 2a. To do that we will...
.... 2b. We will also have to stay on top of our regular responsibilities...
3. How will we use our answers and keep them alive?
That's it.
By core values, the author means 2-3 values your family rates highly. For me, they are honesty and dependability. For my brother, it's fun, (and he refuses to list more than that). By anchor points, he's referring to the things that are true about your family, as in, 'Mom stays at home,' or 'we go to church every week.'
2a and 2b refer to the direct objectives and standard objectives, respectively. This is basically four to five things you need to do to realize the priority in the next two to six months, and four to five things that need to keep happening in order for you to be happy and healthy (like managing finances, or continuing to work out).
#3 simply means that you schedule a time to look over both standard and direct objectives, and examine the priority to make certain that you're on the right track and that it's still the priority for you. To rate your success level on the standard and direct objectives, Lencioni recommends you use three colors: Green for going swimmingly, Yellow for needs work, but acceptable, and Red for this needs immediate attention.
----
The book is organized in a different way than I've seen up to now... but perhaps this is the style of Lencioni's 'leadership fables.'
75% of the book is a story about the Cousins family, whose story starts with the very simple "If my clients ran their businesses the way we ran this family, they'd be out of business." (non-verbatim), and ends with "If my employers ran their business the way you run your family, they wouldn't be going out of business." (non-verbatim).
About 15% of the book after that is a quick sort of 'cheat-sheet' to make sure you got the ideas described in the story and know how to apply them. If you're in a hurry, only this last bit needs to be read. (Start from The Model).
----
All in all, this was a quick educational read. I'm certain it can be applied to single people also. Or practically everyone. If you're ready to think carefully, you probably don't even need to read the book, and can use practically every other productivity suggestion in the world to modify to your family's needs. After all, this book espouses the same things everyone else does: Have a goal and work towards it by limiting the amount of other stuff you do.
January 22, 2013
Remember "Who Moved My Cheese?"? Think that book, only couched in a family setting. It's another "fable" - which is basically a literary term used to describe a made up story that perfectly illustrates the point the author wants to make. How convenient. It's also a way of taking a short topic and stretching it out to a book-length work. I have little tolerance for the fable as marketing gimmick.
The sad thing is, I think Lencioni has some important things to share with families - important concepts that can make a big difference in family life. The trouble is, all the good stuff gets buried at the end of this long, drawn-out fable thing.
Really, this is a non-fiction book. And the average reader could save themselves a bunch of time and just skip to the end (pp. 179 to 200) where Lencioni gets into what the book is really about. Those 21 pages are worth reading. But I wouldn't spend money to buy the whole book just for those few pages. Borrow it from a friend. Check it out of the library. And skip the fluffly "leadership fable" thing.
The sad thing is, I think Lencioni has some important things to share with families - important concepts that can make a big difference in family life. The trouble is, all the good stuff gets buried at the end of this long, drawn-out fable thing.
Really, this is a non-fiction book. And the average reader could save themselves a bunch of time and just skip to the end (pp. 179 to 200) where Lencioni gets into what the book is really about. Those 21 pages are worth reading. But I wouldn't spend money to buy the whole book just for those few pages. Borrow it from a friend. Check it out of the library. And skip the fluffly "leadership fable" thing.
November 5, 2018
О ЧЕМ КНИГА:
Можно сравнить семью с компанией. У каждой успешной компании есть большая цель, стратегия развития и планы её осуществления. Почему же большинство из нас планирует свой бизнес или карьеру, но не имеет четких планов и приоритетов по развитию семьи? Ленсиони отвечает на вопрос о том, как создать пошаговый план семейной стратегии. Как всегда у Ленсиони всё четко и без воды. Он один из редких авторов у которого нужно прочитать все книги.
МЫСЛИ И ВЫВОДЫ:
- Основа метода Ленсиони - это три вопроса на которые надо знать ответ любой семье.
1. Что делает нашу семью уникальной?
Мы должны в 3-4 предложения описать, чем мы отличаемся от других семей в чем заключаются наши ценности.
Если мы не знаем чем уникальна наша семья, то мы не знаем на основе чего принимать решения(нет фильтра для просеивания возможностей и предложений).
2. Какой у нашей семьи главный приоритет на ближайшее время(период времени 2-6 месяцев, он не должен быть слишком коротким или длинным)
Чтобы найти ответ вам нужно задать себе примерно следующие вопросы:
*Что должно поменяться в нашей жизни через 6 месяцев?
*Если бы мы смогли достичь одного большого результата к 1 марта (поставьте свою дату), то чтобы это было?
*Что нам нужно сделать за эту зиму, чтобы мы могли себе сказать 1 марта, что для нашей семьи это была результативная и значимая зима?
Если у вас нет главного приоритета, то всё становится важным и вы делаете одновременно всё и не достигаете ничего значимого. Опять же, как и в бизнесе.
3. Как мы будем отслеживать прогресс нашего движения к цели?
Здесь вам необходимо создать систему регулярных семейных встреч и обсуждений результатов того, что происходит. Например, раз в неделю вместе пить кофе в понедельник утром или воскресенье вечером) и обсуждать прошедшую неделю.
Можно сравнить семью с компанией. У каждой успешной компании есть большая цель, стратегия развития и планы её осуществления. Почему же большинство из нас планирует свой бизнес или карьеру, но не имеет четких планов и приоритетов по развитию семьи? Ленсиони отвечает на вопрос о том, как создать пошаговый план семейной стратегии. Как всегда у Ленсиони всё четко и без воды. Он один из редких авторов у которого нужно прочитать все книги.
МЫСЛИ И ВЫВОДЫ:
- Основа метода Ленсиони - это три вопроса на которые надо знать ответ любой семье.
1. Что делает нашу семью уникальной?
Мы должны в 3-4 предложения описать, чем мы отличаемся от других семей в чем заключаются наши ценности.
Если мы не знаем чем уникальна наша семья, то мы не знаем на основе чего принимать решения(нет фильтра для просеивания возможностей и предложений).
2. Какой у нашей семьи главный приоритет на ближайшее время(период времени 2-6 месяцев, он не должен быть слишком коротким или длинным)
Чтобы найти ответ вам нужно задать себе примерно следующие вопросы:
*Что должно поменяться в нашей жизни через 6 месяцев?
*Если бы мы смогли достичь одного большого результата к 1 марта (поставьте свою дату), то чтобы это было?
*Что нам нужно сделать за эту зиму, чтобы мы могли себе сказать 1 марта, что для нашей семьи это была результативная и значимая зима?
Если у вас нет главного приоритета, то всё становится важным и вы делаете одновременно всё и не достигаете ничего значимого. Опять же, как и в бизнесе.
3. Как мы будем отслеживать прогресс нашего движения к цели?
Здесь вам необходимо создать систему регулярных семейных встреч и обсуждений результатов того, что происходит. Например, раз в неделю вместе пить кофе в понедельник утром или воскресенье вечером) и обсуждать прошедшую неделю.
October 23, 2015
I am so pleasantly surprised by how much I liked this book. I think I expected it to be just another presentation of the family leadership strategies I have read about before but never managed to implement. But it really isn't! If I were going to recommend a family leadership book, I think this would be the one. It doesn't bog you down or make you feel guilty about all that you "should" be doing, but you can see how implementing this very simple tool could really change your family life. I am between a 3 and a 4, but I am giving it a 4 because I appreciated the simplicity and am actually motivated to try the method.
January 17, 2018
I've discovered that Pat Lencioni's books are about the only books in the "management philosophy" genre that I can stomach...and even, dare I say it, enjoy. 3 Big Questions for the Frantic Family was even more enjoyable than his 3 Virtues of the Team Player book. It's almost scary how well some of his observations in this book fit our family. In fact, the only reason I'm giving it 4 stars instead of 5 is that I'm kind of scared to try the program described in the book. But I'm even more scared of NOT trying it, if that makes any sense.
April 17, 2015
Pretty good application of business goal-setting principles to the running of a family - and the author applies it to all types of families (dual parent, single parent, empty nesters, even singles who want more sanity in their lives). It is a very accessible book and the 'fable' gives a true-to-life example of the evolution and application of the principles.
March 5, 2018
I loved every bit of this book. As a strategic planning consultant who is in the thick of family chaos with small children - this was right up my ally. Already implementing what I learned and hope to share this model with others in the future.
Want to read
December 8, 2008My husband, who only reads management books, is insisting that I read this one.
March 28, 2018
I really like the ideas for creating family cohesiveness. The fable was maybe a bit forced, but the tools the author presents seem really helpful. Looking forward to doing this with our family.
September 28, 2020
I don't know whether one of our family values is "think about where you are going and don't let your other plans get too far off course" or whether we are already pretty good at this. It is possible that every person/family/couple already intuitively knows what it needs to focus on next. I have a tool that I got from Art of Simple that asks several questions to help me evaluate where I am in several areas of life (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.). These areas for evaluation seem to be given short shrift in this book. They seem to be tossed at the bottom as "things we of course need to worry about all the time" instead of being the areas from which we should derive our goals or areas for change.
If you are looking for a framework to discuss how your family is and is not working with the other family members, it is a good one. It is not perfect. But it is a good starting point for discussion. It is probably true that there are some glaring areas for improvement in each family that should be addressed first. But after the big areas become resolved, other family goals may be more subtle and not as amenable to group work.
Also, I am reluctant to put our family goals on a white board in our kitchen where all our guests congregate. It seems to me that forgetting to take it down when someone comes over could be humiliating for someone mentioned on the board as having something to resolve. Don't do that. Put it somewhere private.
This is probably 2.5 stars, but I rounded down because of the last point I mentioned.
If you are looking for a framework to discuss how your family is and is not working with the other family members, it is a good one. It is not perfect. But it is a good starting point for discussion. It is probably true that there are some glaring areas for improvement in each family that should be addressed first. But after the big areas become resolved, other family goals may be more subtle and not as amenable to group work.
Also, I am reluctant to put our family goals on a white board in our kitchen where all our guests congregate. It seems to me that forgetting to take it down when someone comes over could be humiliating for someone mentioned on the board as having something to resolve. Don't do that. Put it somewhere private.
This is probably 2.5 stars, but I rounded down because of the last point I mentioned.
June 27, 2022
The writing is very simple, but the concept is great. The book made its process very straightforward and achievable, with lots of concrete examples if you get stuck. I read it in two days and then Will and I were able to put the concepts into practice (write out our family core values and strategy statement, come up with a rallying cry for the next few months, and write our objectives to implement it) within an hour and 20 minutes, and it gave us a lot of relief and clarity to pick one thing we wanted to focus on as a family for a set amount of time. The idea is that figuring out who you are as a family and setting a “rallying cry” to work towards as a team creates context for all the tasks vying for your attention, so you can pick the most important ones based on your rallying cry rather than aimlessly/frantically tackling them in whack-a-mole style with no real direction (guilty! 🙈). Highly recommend if you feel you’re floundering a little and your daily family life needs some focus. It was a great couples activity too - we really enjoyed working through it together! :)
April 5, 2019
I don’t hate the idea of using business concepts in personal context, unless it’s a “personal brand” because that is some serious bullshit. In fact, I started a personal version of this and haven’t decided on my rallying cry. It probably won’t work in my “family” because my husband sucks. But story for another day... we all need clarity in our lives and three little questions (really substantively two) will help you define that. Quick read. But keeping up with the joneses and that crap, but not a bad thought.
January 28, 2019
Really enjoyed this book, very easy read and incredibly practical. As life has picked up for us I’ve thought about different ways to bring clarity and purpose (strategy) to what we do as a family but it’s seemed forced and ultimately unusable. Lencioni does a great job boiling it down to three questions and a way for families to adopt important short term goals while also keeping the big picture in mind.
October 6, 2023
While aimed at families, even those without children or marriage could find gaining greater context and clarity re surviving in a busy world quite useful. This book was engaging, easy to read and gives lots of examples of singles, families, retirees & others, defining their immediate goals and how to achieve them. I think clarifying what our most important priority is and how to get there will be quite helpful for my own family, especially if we stick to it.
January 8, 2023
A unique take on his classic consultative style, Patrick Lencioni knocks another one out of the park. I'm reminded of the saying, "God can't steer a parked car." So to in family life it is often important to pick a rallying cry and pursue it just to get momentum in a specific direction. Stagnation will lead to frustration.
January 4, 2024
This book is so IMPORTANT! If you have a family, you are doing yourself a disservice by not reading this. So so helpful, practical, digestible and actionable! I am so looking forward to putting this book into practice in my family’s lives. The overarching way the book is told is a *tad* cheesy, but it helped me put the nuts and bolts to an actual situation. If you read one book this year make it this one.
January 30, 2024
I LOVE the 3 questions and format that he provides, and would recommend to any parents and families (& even singles!) Only giving it 3 stars because I didn't really care for the 'fable' part that comprised most of the book. I could've read his theory and model in a short article, rather than a whole book and fictional story, and been good to go.
January 18, 2020
After hearing a podcast last year during which this author gave an interview, I’ve been anxious to read and apply this book. It’s a quick, interesting read with a simple model that can be applied in an hour or less. With small kids and limited time, it’s just what our family needs.
May 11, 2024
I didn't particularly care for the fable format of this book, but the content was helpful. Who are we as a family? And how does that affect what we say "yes" to? Definitely relevant for this age of opportunity and responsibility.
We look forward to working through some of this material.
We look forward to working through some of this material.
January 16, 2022
What makes your family unique?
I didn't find it as enjoyable or as sharp as Lencioni's business-focused fables. Maybe our family is not yet frantic enough.
I didn't find it as enjoyable or as sharp as Lencioni's business-focused fables. Maybe our family is not yet frantic enough.
January 6, 2024
This book is super helpful to organize the home. It makes it super simple and gives plenty of examples! I like the perspective that this book is written at.
January 31, 2024
Read this for a concrete, practically helpful plan for family life. This would be a great supplement for pastors to give to families in counseling as common grace, common sense wisdom.
January 7, 2021
Figure out what your family’s focus is. Cut out things that don’t help that focus. The approach was just fine on this one. Taking concepts like mission statements, core values, and rallying cries from businesses and applying them to families. Some good ideas. But nothing life changing for me.
July 10, 2018
Definitely not a great literary work, but a fun way to think about both family life and personal goals. I have read other books that suggest things like family mission statements, but this is the first one to focus on how to use those mission statements to determine goals and then to list the steps required to make progress toward those goals.
My only criticism would be that standard objectives receive very little attention. To simply say, “Stay on top of our regular responsibilities” seems a bit disingenuous in this sort of “How to” manual for pulling your life together. I think that those regular responsibilities are often being neglected or are part of the problem that sends one looking for this book in the first place, and getting the dishes washed, the laundry done, the errands run, and the bills paid are completely necessary, even though they probably don’t move the ball forward on your family’s rallying cry...
My only criticism would be that standard objectives receive very little attention. To simply say, “Stay on top of our regular responsibilities” seems a bit disingenuous in this sort of “How to” manual for pulling your life together. I think that those regular responsibilities are often being neglected or are part of the problem that sends one looking for this book in the first place, and getting the dishes washed, the laundry done, the errands run, and the bills paid are completely necessary, even though they probably don’t move the ball forward on your family’s rallying cry...
September 12, 2023
Awful read. An old concept of creating business fables to relay instructions on a better life. Only 4 of the 200 pages are needed and not helpful for a realistic life.
Essentially, a husband and his business partner 'man-splain' basic business principles to an overwhelmed, overworked stay at home mom with four kids. Her husband is upset that she is doing a bad job juggling it all by herself while he travels and works.
But maybe if she just sets a family mission statement and some goals, everything will work out great!
Now, the family has a mission, but I assume she is still doing all the cooking, cleaning, driving, doctors appointments, and child care alone. So that didn't help her change her life, add in real support, or balance her life in any way.
Deep down, this resonates as a book for men to feel better about being proactive in their families without having to do any emotional or physical domestic labor to support their partner. All while getting to shame their wives for their choices (chapter "second confession").
Disappointed in this recommendation.
Essentially, a husband and his business partner 'man-splain' basic business principles to an overwhelmed, overworked stay at home mom with four kids. Her husband is upset that she is doing a bad job juggling it all by herself while he travels and works.
But maybe if she just sets a family mission statement and some goals, everything will work out great!
Now, the family has a mission, but I assume she is still doing all the cooking, cleaning, driving, doctors appointments, and child care alone. So that didn't help her change her life, add in real support, or balance her life in any way.
Deep down, this resonates as a book for men to feel better about being proactive in their families without having to do any emotional or physical domestic labor to support their partner. All while getting to shame their wives for their choices (chapter "second confession").
Disappointed in this recommendation.
September 29, 2012
Surprisingly, I enjoyed the fable part the most. Then, I remembered that I tend to absorb lessons via story more so than a list of instructions (like a business book). I can see why Lencioni uses fables. (I mean, if Jesus taught in parables, it makes sense, right?)
Like all self-help books, though the information is useful, without my actual implementation, it is dead and useless. I do think this will be more useful to me as my kids get older and do more things. It would definitely be a benefit to me now, however, I may be too lazy. LOL.
However, it does bring up important issues - especially this day and age when we have the means and ability to sign up our children for a multitude of activities. I look forward to forcing my husband to read some of it. :D
Like all self-help books, though the information is useful, without my actual implementation, it is dead and useless. I do think this will be more useful to me as my kids get older and do more things. It would definitely be a benefit to me now, however, I may be too lazy. LOL.
However, it does bring up important issues - especially this day and age when we have the means and ability to sign up our children for a multitude of activities. I look forward to forcing my husband to read some of it. :D
July 4, 2017
Most Pat Lencioni books focus on how to fix specific work problems i.e. boring meetings, team building, or etc. This book takes ideas from the business consulting world and how to apply them to the family.
The 3 big questions are
1. What makes the family unique?
2. What is the top priority for the next few months?
There is a rallying cry. Then are defining objectives. Lastly there are standard objectives.
3. Have consistent weekly family meeting to measure progress with the family goals and re-adjust the goals.
The 3 big questions are
1. What makes the family unique?
2. What is the top priority for the next few months?
There is a rallying cry. Then are defining objectives. Lastly there are standard objectives.
3. Have consistent weekly family meeting to measure progress with the family goals and re-adjust the goals.
August 15, 2017
This was a fun read. I didn't expect the fable when I started, so that made it a fast read, easy to pick up for a short time and put it down. The concept/lesson could be covered very briefly - maybe in 3-5 chapters, but the story drives home the probable effectiveness of the method. Relating the concept to business also helps give concrete ideology to the theory for the three questions.
I can easily recommend it, but may not be life-changing for everyone. Some families may find themselves looking to make drastic changes after reading it though, and that would be a good thing.
I can easily recommend it, but may not be life-changing for everyone. Some families may find themselves looking to make drastic changes after reading it though, and that would be a good thing.
April 10, 2021
Book is doing a good job in one aspect: convincing you that trying to apply some of the things you learnt at work to your family is something worth trying. It helps you overcome the awkwardness of doing so.
The whole concept is easy but intuitively makes sense.
Will update the review when I'll try to apply it myself.
EDIT: Updating after second read through and implementing the method. It works for our family very well over the course of the last 4 big "projects" we went through. Much more clarity, much less stress, much more results.
The whole concept is easy but intuitively makes sense.
Will update the review when I'll try to apply it myself.
EDIT: Updating after second read through and implementing the method. It works for our family very well over the course of the last 4 big "projects" we went through. Much more clarity, much less stress, much more results.
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