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Let Me Finish
Every year, around one million people commit suicide, yet, for most of us, it remains an extremely taboo subject. Udo Grashoff has discovered forty-five suicide letters that offer us unique insight into this phenomenon. The authors of each letter differ in age, sex, and class, but all cite strikingly universal reasons for their decision -- unrequited love, mounting debts, the loss of a spouse, a frustrating domestic situation. These are problems that we may all encounter. So why is it that only some of us see suicide as the solution? A truly remarkable and thought-provoking anthology, Let Me Finish marks the beginning of a more widespread frankness about suicide and take us closer to answering the seemingly unanswerable question: "Why?"
192 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2004
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
September 11, 2025
3.5 ⭐️
“Aqui falam os que estão próximos da morte, falam eles próprios e pela última vez. Ler cartas de despedida significa acompanhar estas pessoas durante uma parte do seu último caminho, espreitar frases que são dirigidas a alguém que não vemos e de quem nada sabemos. Já não há histórias completas. Aqui já nada se oferece nada e nada se expõe. Aqui, o que se diz é uma palavra final.”
Uma leitura que se inicia com uma abordagem generalizada sobre o suicídio, num contexto clínico e motivacional.
As cartas de despedida, redigidas entre 1959 e 1989 vêm dos dois lados da Alemanha, o que limita a sua extensão e algumas são consequência desse período histórico.
Apesar de ser tratar de um tema delicado e de todo doloroso, gostei da experiência de leitura.
“Aqui falam os que estão próximos da morte, falam eles próprios e pela última vez. Ler cartas de despedida significa acompanhar estas pessoas durante uma parte do seu último caminho, espreitar frases que são dirigidas a alguém que não vemos e de quem nada sabemos. Já não há histórias completas. Aqui já nada se oferece nada e nada se expõe. Aqui, o que se diz é uma palavra final.”
Uma leitura que se inicia com uma abordagem generalizada sobre o suicídio, num contexto clínico e motivacional.
As cartas de despedida, redigidas entre 1959 e 1989 vêm dos dois lados da Alemanha, o que limita a sua extensão e algumas são consequência desse período histórico.
Apesar de ser tratar de um tema delicado e de todo doloroso, gostei da experiência de leitura.
October 13, 2015
A good book on an important subject. Pascal wrote something like,
"As men are not able to beat death, misery, ignorance, they have taken it into their heads, in order to be happy, not to think of them at all."
Suicide is such a topic for most people. People pay superficial lip service to the problem but then move on to other more important things, like football. But why is it that so many millions of people kill themselves? Some are ill, very old, abandoned, possibly mentally ill, but many are young, attractive, comfortable, popular, seemingly happy. This book has collected notes written by a range of self-killers, who left suicide notes.
It doesn't analyse, or provide facile explanations. It leaves that to the "experts" who seem totally unable to reduce the endless death toll, but maybe feel proud that their theories prove their cleverness. It has the great advantage of just presenting the facts and leaving it to the readers to form their own conclusions.
"As men are not able to beat death, misery, ignorance, they have taken it into their heads, in order to be happy, not to think of them at all."
Suicide is such a topic for most people. People pay superficial lip service to the problem but then move on to other more important things, like football. But why is it that so many millions of people kill themselves? Some are ill, very old, abandoned, possibly mentally ill, but many are young, attractive, comfortable, popular, seemingly happy. This book has collected notes written by a range of self-killers, who left suicide notes.
It doesn't analyse, or provide facile explanations. It leaves that to the "experts" who seem totally unable to reduce the endless death toll, but maybe feel proud that their theories prove their cleverness. It has the great advantage of just presenting the facts and leaving it to the readers to form their own conclusions.
August 24, 2012
Whenever I tell anyone about this book they pull a face and act like I'm weird. Then they have a flick through. Then they can't put it down. It is a morbid and fascinating subject and the book presents each letter with minimum comment, allowing each author to speak for themselves. This becomes most fascinating when you read one thing in the note, and then a completely different reality in the facts which follow. There are some genuinely tragic stories in here, but they seem to be outweighed by the ones who just seem incredibly selfish, and in some cases despicable. I wish there were more published on this taboo subject and ideally from a wider range of sources (i.e. different countries and backgrounds) but this is an excellent start and the way it handles the difficult subject matter is excellent.
September 24, 2015
I was wandering that day, what do people talk about when they write a suicide note? Of course a real letter is hard to find, there are many sound reasons imaginable why families would keep such letters private. But I got lucky, a German journalist has published a small collection of authentic suicide letters. As one might expect, there are roughly three types of content. There's the self-loathing depressive who goes "please forget me and get on with your life" (often very short letters). There's the spiteful frustrated type, who will say: "It is all your fault, now you see how far you have driven me, and I hope you die miserably too!" (longer letters, because of the enumeration of all grievances). And then there are the raving lunatics, with paranormal conspiracy theories or death-as-the-ultimate-truth visions of life (the longest letters).
One thing that struck me was the difference in planning. Some suicides were premeditated and prepared months or even a year in advance. There probably wasn't anything to do to help such a determined person. But other suicide notes contained nothing but impulsive thoughts, emotions of the moment, usually after one too many to drink. One imagines that any interruption there might have prevented the suicide. The people in those cases would very likely have forgotten all about it the following day. And that's a pity.
As a book, this is pretty disappointing. Grashof hardly does anything with his collection. No background stories, no organisation, nothing. Another unfortunate thing is that all notes are from the same source, being East Germany during the sad years of the communist dictatorship. A lot of the depressing atmosphere of the era looms through the letters. In that way, the book is only representative of a small group in a very specific setting.
One thing that struck me was the difference in planning. Some suicides were premeditated and prepared months or even a year in advance. There probably wasn't anything to do to help such a determined person. But other suicide notes contained nothing but impulsive thoughts, emotions of the moment, usually after one too many to drink. One imagines that any interruption there might have prevented the suicide. The people in those cases would very likely have forgotten all about it the following day. And that's a pity.
As a book, this is pretty disappointing. Grashof hardly does anything with his collection. No background stories, no organisation, nothing. Another unfortunate thing is that all notes are from the same source, being East Germany during the sad years of the communist dictatorship. A lot of the depressing atmosphere of the era looms through the letters. In that way, the book is only representative of a small group in a very specific setting.
May 1, 2015
It is a spirit-shattering collection of suicide notes. I found myself gasping for air after every letter that I managed to read. The thought that these letters being the last words penned down before misery, loneliness, depression took over and claimed their lives, broke my heart.
I recommend it to those who have the courage to be intimate in their understanding of suicide. To those who know that one person who is finding it hard to tread through life and to those who want to help that one person come back from the dark side.
I recommend it to those who have the courage to be intimate in their understanding of suicide. To those who know that one person who is finding it hard to tread through life and to those who want to help that one person come back from the dark side.
Read
November 13, 2012Suicides make people ask "why?". This book gives some answers. It's an incredible journey into the minds of people who feel they have no other choice. Personally, I thought it was an incredibly brave book. Very few people would be willing to approach a topic like this one. However, Udo does and does it well.
Just beautiful.
Just beautiful.
August 10, 2011
This took me days to buy, months to start reading and hours to finish. It is fascinating for anyone who is interested in human behavior. It is extremely personal and sad, definitely not for everyone.
August 20, 2019
Torna-se complicado pontuar um livro com este conteúdo! É um livro que expõe a noite que cada homem traz dentro de si. Os autores destas cartas não escreveram coisas abstractas, palavras sem consequências. A consequência destas palavras foi a morte.
Cada carta de despedida é acompanhada de um breve resumo da vida que a antecedeu. A maioria provém de suicídios na ex-RDA, mas há outras que não.
Uma reflexão profunda sobre o significado da morte.
Cada carta de despedida é acompanhada de um breve resumo da vida que a antecedeu. A maioria provém de suicídios na ex-RDA, mas há outras que não.
Uma reflexão profunda sobre o significado da morte.
May 6, 2021
Boek nummer 50 dat ik dit jaar las stond toevallig ook in het teken van dat getal.
50 laatste brieven die werden geschreven net voor een wanhoopsdaad, ingeleid met enkele inzichten vanuit de psychologie.
Heel mooi, heel intiem, heel zachtaardig.
50 laatste brieven die werden geschreven net voor een wanhoopsdaad, ingeleid met enkele inzichten vanuit de psychologie.
Heel mooi, heel intiem, heel zachtaardig.
February 15, 2017
This book was tough. It was not an easy read to go through the dying words of so many people.
However, that doesn't mean it wasn't important. This book has been sitting on my shelf for years, and I could never bring myself to read it. I finally did it (obvi) and I'm glad I did.
Suicide is terrible. However, what's worse is the attitude of our society. We shun it, we pretend it doesn't exist, we ignore it, and we just don't talk about it. Period. And that's a shame because spreading awareness is one of the best things we can do for people who are suffering.
However, that doesn't mean it wasn't important. This book has been sitting on my shelf for years, and I could never bring myself to read it. I finally did it (obvi) and I'm glad I did.
Suicide is terrible. However, what's worse is the attitude of our society. We shun it, we pretend it doesn't exist, we ignore it, and we just don't talk about it. Period. And that's a shame because spreading awareness is one of the best things we can do for people who are suffering.
February 11, 2025
This book was at times very difficult to read. At once eye-opening and heart-breaking.
December 27, 2024
Brilliantly, Let Me Finish pulls no punches and, simultaneously, throws none too. Grashoff allows the voices of the deceased to speak for themselves, emotionally hammering the reader with the rawness of the suicidal perspective. Alongside this, the fleeting details of the circumstances surrounding each death are provided while withholding any further commentary that may sway interpretation. As a consequence, the context for each note often feels cut short because of the cold objectivity of its presentation, lacking its own linkages from context to note. While reading the notes alongside their individual circumstances, I felt as though I was piecing together a puzzle with missing pieces. Some pieces seemed to fit naturally, while others had to be forced, and even then, the picture that emerged was fragmented and unrecognizable. This fragmented picture is a sobering reminder of the limits of our understanding, no matter how much context or empathy we bring. Spending time trying to know the whole story is likely futile. However, as this book tries to make more apparent and accessible, suicide notes are still a significant route to understanding suicide. This is due to what they reveal about the minds of those who die by suicide, how they process their suffering, what drives their decisions, and—what I want to focus on—how, in light of suffering, they are still torn, ambivalent about life and death.
I hope that anyone who comes across this book reads it with an appreciation for the ambivalence of suicide. The myth that "People who die by suicide JUST wanted to die," while partially true by definition, is nonetheless a gross oversimplification of a very complex and nuanced choice. It is imperative to understand the interplay between wanting to die and wanting to live (hate and love) at the same time in order to fully see the human being in suicide. As Simon Critchley insightfully identified in his book Notes on Suicide:
"But there is a further twist to the dialectic of the suicide note. The hatred that permits us to overcome our self-love and kill ourselves is also the occasion for the most extreme exclamations of love. It is as though the intensity of self-hatred allows a final, heartfelt, and equally intense proclamation of love. These twinned energies of love and hate dramatically pull apart, and we fall into the abyss that opens up beneath us."
Each note in Let Me Finish is a glimpse into ambivalence and how people cope with, and ultimately try to justify, making a very permanent decision that they have agonized over (some more obviously than others). I commend Udo Grashoff for his choice of unbiased presentation and for ensuring the voices of all spoke for themselves. They may not have had the opportunity in life to be heard, but we can listen now; we owe that much to them—past, present, future, dead or alive.
I hope that anyone who comes across this book reads it with an appreciation for the ambivalence of suicide. The myth that "People who die by suicide JUST wanted to die," while partially true by definition, is nonetheless a gross oversimplification of a very complex and nuanced choice. It is imperative to understand the interplay between wanting to die and wanting to live (hate and love) at the same time in order to fully see the human being in suicide. As Simon Critchley insightfully identified in his book Notes on Suicide:
"But there is a further twist to the dialectic of the suicide note. The hatred that permits us to overcome our self-love and kill ourselves is also the occasion for the most extreme exclamations of love. It is as though the intensity of self-hatred allows a final, heartfelt, and equally intense proclamation of love. These twinned energies of love and hate dramatically pull apart, and we fall into the abyss that opens up beneath us."
Each note in Let Me Finish is a glimpse into ambivalence and how people cope with, and ultimately try to justify, making a very permanent decision that they have agonized over (some more obviously than others). I commend Udo Grashoff for his choice of unbiased presentation and for ensuring the voices of all spoke for themselves. They may not have had the opportunity in life to be heard, but we can listen now; we owe that much to them—past, present, future, dead or alive.
April 14, 2020
Muy interesante. Un libro necesario, diría yo, aunque en un principio no lo parezca.
Como dice el propio autor, parece que solo sabemos tratar el tema del suicidio desde el morbo o desde el miedo. Incluso simplemente leer acerca de ello ya parece que adquiera tintes de deporte de alto riesgo u otras intenciones ocultas.
Aquí el ensayo introductorio es amplio y completo a la vez que conciso. El tema da para muchísimo más, claro, pero la introducción lo enmarca bastante bien con cuatro pinceladas.
Y después la colección de cartas es impresionante. Las hay de todos los colores, como las actitudes de los sujetos. No es una recopilación morbosa sino un muestrario (diría que no hay más de dos cartas de un mismo estilo). Y tiene la virtud, como decía el autor al principio -aunque parecía dudoso-, de que según vas avanzando va aflorando una impresión como de ensayo clínico. Según te vas distanciando poco a poco de cada caso concreto (supongo que inevitablemente, por la cierta repetición), se van difuminando el dramatismo y la impresión que te causan unas últimas palabras solo por ser las últimas y por lo que las seguirá a continuación, y en su lugar va surgiendo una visión más de conjunto y con más perspectiva que, creo, supongo, es más profunda y más amplia y más fiel a la realidad, una que nos acerque un poco más a entender el fenómeno para poder tratarlo mejor.
(Al loro la parrafada que me acabo de marcar... No tirarse por la ventana, por favor.)
Como dice el propio autor, parece que solo sabemos tratar el tema del suicidio desde el morbo o desde el miedo. Incluso simplemente leer acerca de ello ya parece que adquiera tintes de deporte de alto riesgo u otras intenciones ocultas.
Aquí el ensayo introductorio es amplio y completo a la vez que conciso. El tema da para muchísimo más, claro, pero la introducción lo enmarca bastante bien con cuatro pinceladas.
Y después la colección de cartas es impresionante. Las hay de todos los colores, como las actitudes de los sujetos. No es una recopilación morbosa sino un muestrario (diría que no hay más de dos cartas de un mismo estilo). Y tiene la virtud, como decía el autor al principio -aunque parecía dudoso-, de que según vas avanzando va aflorando una impresión como de ensayo clínico. Según te vas distanciando poco a poco de cada caso concreto (supongo que inevitablemente, por la cierta repetición), se van difuminando el dramatismo y la impresión que te causan unas últimas palabras solo por ser las últimas y por lo que las seguirá a continuación, y en su lugar va surgiendo una visión más de conjunto y con más perspectiva que, creo, supongo, es más profunda y más amplia y más fiel a la realidad, una que nos acerque un poco más a entender el fenómeno para poder tratarlo mejor.
(Al loro la parrafada que me acabo de marcar... No tirarse por la ventana, por favor.)
January 22, 2021
“... diz à minha mãe que lhe peço para colocar o anão do jardim em cima da minha campa.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 26, 2010
The morbid fascination aurrounding life and death will always persist. However I failed to understand the true purpose of the book. Perhaps I perceived the subject matter in a more academic view point and expected as much.
Perhaps a better structure of the book would have been more insightful: creation of thematic chapters that link similiar (if that is indeed possible) situations/intentions. A brief psychological synopsis wouls have framed it much more clearer.
On the flip side: suicide will always remain an elusive and emotional subject matter and perhaps that was the aim of the book. Threading together seemingly disparate stories with a common core. Was it a mere portrait of our own curiosity or an attempt to enegage in dialogue? Take a read and decide for yourself
Perhaps a better structure of the book would have been more insightful: creation of thematic chapters that link similiar (if that is indeed possible) situations/intentions. A brief psychological synopsis wouls have framed it much more clearer.
On the flip side: suicide will always remain an elusive and emotional subject matter and perhaps that was the aim of the book. Threading together seemingly disparate stories with a common core. Was it a mere portrait of our own curiosity or an attempt to enegage in dialogue? Take a read and decide for yourself
January 22, 2019
Despite the morbid topic (or perhaps because of it), this is an utterly fascinating collection. I don't pick this up from my bookshelf often but when I do, I pour through the whole thing. And yet I rarely point this book out to visitors, and of those visitors introduced to my copy, most decline to read it, even after expressing fascination. Truly, this is still a taboo subject.
I believe all the letters in the collection were either written in East Germany, or by writers from there, so readers hoping to get a comparison across countries will be disappointed. There is however some discussion about the types of letters written by people in different stages of their lives.
I believe all the letters in the collection were either written in East Germany, or by writers from there, so readers hoping to get a comparison across countries will be disappointed. There is however some discussion about the types of letters written by people in different stages of their lives.
July 14, 2009
This compilation of suicide notes is utterly fascinating. I give it four stars only because the subject matter may not appeal to all. But it's astounding to see the last things written by people who knew they were going to die of their own accord. The variety: mundanity, bitterness, anger, sadness.
Read
January 13, 2008It's all about different suicide letters.
January 23, 2013
More of a curiousity than anything else.
April 17, 2013
Interesting...
June 9, 2013
this shit sad.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews