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The House with the Broken Two: A Birthmother Remembers
Unmarried and pregnant in 1968 Winnipeg, teenager Myrl Coulter found herself at a loss. Unable (and perhaps unwilling) to support her child, Myrl’s parents forced her to give the baby up for adoption. After being sent to a home for unwed mothers, Myrl gave birth in a desolate hospital room and then found herself at the mercy of the closed adoption process that seemed determined to punish her. Myrl was left numb and filled with questions that no one was able to answer. In The House with the Broken A Birthmother Remembers , Dr. Myrl Coulter reflects on the family politics and social mores that surrounded closed adoption in the 1960s, and examines the changing attitudes that resulted in the current open adoption system and her eventual reunion with her firstborn son. The book is an intimate, honest look at the way personal histories combine with political truths, and Coulter mixes revealing personal details with sharp political observations. The House with the Broken Two could be called a personal essay or a feminist apologia, but perhaps most importantly, it is a book about motherhood in its many variations.
- GenresMemoir
214 pages, Paperback
First published March 22, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
December 20, 2011
"The House with the Broken Two" is an unsettling view into the closed adoption system of the 1960s and its long impact on a single mother and her son. Author Myrl Coulter finds herself pregnant (and, worse, unmarried) at 18 years-old and it is made clear to her that she will not be allowed to parent the child. Coulter’s parents hide her away at a home for unwed mothers for the duration of the pregnancy and tell friends and family that she has gone on a “trip”. During delivery, Coulter is mistreated by hospital staff and is forbidden to view her newborn son afterwards. Within days, he is surrendered to a closed adoption system that allows no exchange of information and Coulter is told to “forget about” her child. The memoir details Coulter’s subsequent years – marriage, additional children, career – but, of course, she never does forget that child. Following the gradual unsealing of closed adoption records in the 1980s, Coulter and her 30 year-old son are eventually reunited.
I personally find it fascinating to read of how an individual life collides with the prevailing social values and current legislation of its time. Had Coulter been a pregnant teenager only a few years later, she would have had a completely different experience as Canadian culture and politics softened towards her situation.
I also connected with the memoir as a social worker who works with the 'traditional' victims found within Canada's child protection system – the children who are abused, neglected and abandoned. It can become easy to forget that birthparents have often been "abandoned" themselves. Of course, in this case, Coulter was neither abusive or neglectful, and her desertion of her child was not voluntary or even needed. Still, I was struck by this passage where she compares herself to her son following their reunion:
…we are both highly sensitive to rejection and abandonment. While perhaps expected in adoptees, this characteristic is not often associated with birthmothers. Mainstream thinking is that the adopted child is the only one abandoned, a notion that conveniently ignores just how many people and organizations had to abandon the birthmother to create the adopting situation. In getting to know both my son and myself better, I have become acutely aware of how the nailed-shut structure of the closed adoption system has left its scars on both of us.
I personally find it fascinating to read of how an individual life collides with the prevailing social values and current legislation of its time. Had Coulter been a pregnant teenager only a few years later, she would have had a completely different experience as Canadian culture and politics softened towards her situation.
I also connected with the memoir as a social worker who works with the 'traditional' victims found within Canada's child protection system – the children who are abused, neglected and abandoned. It can become easy to forget that birthparents have often been "abandoned" themselves. Of course, in this case, Coulter was neither abusive or neglectful, and her desertion of her child was not voluntary or even needed. Still, I was struck by this passage where she compares herself to her son following their reunion:
…we are both highly sensitive to rejection and abandonment. While perhaps expected in adoptees, this characteristic is not often associated with birthmothers. Mainstream thinking is that the adopted child is the only one abandoned, a notion that conveniently ignores just how many people and organizations had to abandon the birthmother to create the adopting situation. In getting to know both my son and myself better, I have become acutely aware of how the nailed-shut structure of the closed adoption system has left its scars on both of us.
October 22, 2011
Enjoyed this read. Loved hearing about things in Winnipeg back in those days. Amazing the difference 3 years ahead in time would have made for this woman and her child.
November 22, 2011
Enjoyed the Winnipeg-centric theme.
February 24, 2015
This is an important story that has been told. There is value in hearing people's experiences and life stories. I appreciated the viewpoint of closed adoption she provided and its long lasting effects. I also enjoyed that she is from winnipeg.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews