OMG.
Reading this book is like reading a Kafka short story, where the more you read, the less you understand the subject.
Thats not necessarily a bad thing.
And sometimes you kind of have to go there to learn new things, or deepen understanding.
It reminds me of learning mathematics (something I have admittedly not done anywhere near enough of).
You have to get used to a process of (a) initially not knowing what the fuck you’re doing, (b) doing it any way, (c) starting to know what the fuck you're doing, (d) becoming sorta/kinda competent, (e) going deeper, (return to step a and repeat).
Learning psychotherapy (and more specifically learning psychoanalytic theory) is DEFINITELY one of those (ad infinitum).
So back to this book.
It’s an ADVANCED dive into Object Relations theory. And as I intimated earlier. Even if you (like me) start off reading the book with a “good enough” (ish) understanding of object relations. Get ready for 400 (or more) pages of challenging (often confusing and conflicted) material.
The reason for that is, that the history of object relations is full of confusion and conflict. The early architects of object relations are trying (hard) to (a) name and describe phenomena at the absolute edge of human awareness that hither to, had not been explicitly identified, named or described, (b) come to some kind of agreement as a community of intellectuals and clinicians, (c) implement these largely ineffable notions into therapeutic practice, (d) integrate these new concepts into extant psychoanalytic theory, (e) reconcile the theory with reality, (f) revise the theories (return to step a and repeat).
So….
WHAT THE FUCK IS OBJECT RELATIONS THEORY?
Let’s start with what it isn’t.
DRIVE THEORY
Freud’s work was essentially grounded in individual drive theory, wherein human behavior is posited to be motivated by 2 basic innate biological drives like sexuality (Eros) and aggression (Thanatos). According to Freud, these drives seek expression and fulfillment, and much of human activity can be understood as an effort to channel and regulate these fundamental urges.
In Freud's tripartite model of the mind is structured into the ID (IT), the EGO (I) , and the SUPEREGO (INTERNAL RULES AND MORES), whereby, the ID is the reservoir of basic drives and operates on the "pleasure principle” seeking immediate gratification. The EGO, influenced by the "reality principle" negotiates between the ID demands and real-world constraints. The SUPEREGO serves as the moral and ethical compass, often inhibiting the drives.
Drive theory was critiqued as not sufficient to account for the importance of relationship on human motivation and development. Object Relations theory was an early (and ongoing) attempt to expand Drive Theory to include a theory of relationally.
OBJECT RELATIONS THEORY
Object Relations (OR) theory attempts to describe the role of interpersonal relationships (particularly the formative relations between mother and child) on human behavior.
The term "OBJECT" refers to a literal person (MOM), or part of a person (MOMS BOOB), or a even symbol (NURTURING MOTHER) that becomes a target for one's feelings, drives, and desires.
OR suggests that our early relationships create mental representations, or "internal objects," or “interjects” that influence our later adult relationships, often in ways we are completely unaware of.
Melanie Klein is often cited as the OG of OR. After Klien, figures including Donald Winnicott (the originator of the “GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER” notion that we all learn about in therapy school), and Ronald Fairbairn, and later Erich Fromm, and John Bowlby (among others) spent the following century (give or take) elaborating, discussing, disagreeing, debating, arguing, endlessly writing, and generally kvetching about OR, and more broadly, the HUGE role that relationships and larger social systems play in human development, identity, wellbeing and behavior.
MIXED MODELS
While DRIVE THEORY and OBJECT RELATIONS seem to describe something very TRUE/REAL about human beings. They don’t always play well together in practice.
Mixed Model theories attempt to reconcile the two, at least in practice, wherein some clincial issues (e.g., neurosis) are resolved in terms of DRIVE THEORY, and others (e.g., character disorders) are resolved in terms of OBJECT RELATIONS.
This book attempts to entangle all of that.
And…
That’s a lot.
Today, this conversation continues in the dialog between (new school) relational psychodynamic approaches, and (old school) psychoanalytic approaches, with most partitioners operating in both ways.
I (personally) love all of it.
This may come as a surprise to readers of my earlier reviews, ware I bag HARD on psychoanalysis (I am a VERY slow CONVERT who used to be a VERY vocal HATER).
This book is REALLY consternating in parts, as per the nature of the material, but does a HEROIC job of explaining and organizing the disparate perspectives into something (approaching) clear (at least understandable) and useful (at least on some level), if for nothing else, than to seem smart to other clinicians 😜.
Great book 5/5