Beginnings: How Families Come to Be

by Virginia L. Kroll, Stacey Schuett (Illustrator)

In loving words parents and children from six families discuss gently how each family came to be, covering birth families and various kinds of adoptive families.

Genres: Adoption, Picture Books

Hardcover

First published March 1, 1994

About the author

Kroll has written numerous children's books since her career started in the mid-80's. Her first book was published in 1992. She started writing when she had her fourth child. Before that, she taught elementary school in Buffalo, NY. She also has written a number of books under the pseudonym Melrose Cooper to mask her tremendous output in so short a time.

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a solidly good book about adoption featuring characters of different ethnicities, different family configurations, and different paths to adoption. The book includes six brief conversations between a child asking some version of "how did we come to be parent and child" and a parent answering in an open, honest, loving, and reassuring way. The illustrations are lovely. The dialogue is believable and flows well. My only quibble is that it's romanticized, focusing almost exclusively on the positive aspects of adoption. The final story is a quasi-exception: the child is adopted from foster care, has a physical disability, was school-aged when adopted, and remembers being "shy at first". On the one hand, those of us who need to tell a more complex story can use this as an opening to do so. On the other hand, those of us who need to tell a more complex story know that after two foster families in five years, being "shy" was not among the biggest challenges.

This book does a wonderful job of different paths to adoption, which is very useful in helping both adopted and non-adopted children understand that there's always a story behind the word "adopted", and every family's story is different. It features single-mom and single-dad families. It features domestic and international adoption, open and closed, and by relatives, acquaintances, and strangers. It omits the grief and the loss entirely. So by all means, read this with your children. Just don't let this be the only book about adoption that you read with your children.

For those of you who might find it helpful to have more details about the specific situations presented, here is a summary. Ruben was born to and remained with a birth mother and a birth father. Katherine was born in another country to a mother who "couldn't take care of her" before being adopted by her mom and dad as an infant. Mark was born to a single mother who was "very sick"; when she died, her brother adopted Mark (aged 4 months). Olivia was born to a young woman and her boyfriend who were "too young to care for a baby properly" and choose someone they knew, a single woman, to adopt the baby; the adoptive mom remains in touch with the birth mom. Habib's parents decided during Kwanzaa that they wanted to adopt, and the adoptive mom's doctor "had another patient who was pregnant, who felt she was too young and too poor to keep her child," and had asked the doctor to help her find an adoptive family; the adoptive dad makes no mention of knowing anything about or staying in touch with the birth parents. Nicole was adopted as an older, school-aged child ("done with kindergarten"); she "lived with [her] birth mother for two months. Then two foster families cared for you after that." Nicole's adoptive parents saw her profile in "the Blue Books, where children who need new homes are pictured." The adoptive dad says that they "loaded you and your wheelchair" into their new van, but no other details are provided. Nicole remembers being shy at first but eventually feeling comfortable with her new family.

[Maleah Tellado · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story was focused on how families begin. There were six different short stories focused on six different families. Each story focused on one child, and how the child was brought into the family. Each family had their own unique story with some children being adopted, and others being naturally conceived. It was a great way to show children that every family is unique, and that although some family structures may be different, that is okay. For example, within the short stories there are single parents, and parents that were married. As my central concept is family, this story did an exceptional job at portraying different family structures, and different ways of starting a family. As children learn from the world around them and the books that they read, this book teaches children to be accepting of all different people and families. As we learned previously about John Locke depicting a child as tabula rasa, this teaching goes along with that blank slate. This is meant in the way that children not only are not tainted by sin, but also that they are free of any pre-conceived judgements. In this case, children may not have learned about different family beginnings or structures yet, and therefore haven’t been taught anything negative about this. In reading this book, hopefully children can view these family beginnings and structures in an accepting way.

[Morgan Colon · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book 'Beginnings' by Virginia Kroll, is a picturebook based on kids asking their parents where they came from. The story is broken up into six different sections, each section telling the story of how a child came into their families lifes. Each section starts with a child asking their parents, "How did I come to the family?" or "Can you tell me again how I was born?" Some of the parents explained to the child that they had the baby themselves, while other parents explain the adoption process they went through to adopt the child. Each story ends on a happy and loving note.

I personally really enjoyed this picturebook. I think it would great for every child to read so they understand not every child is born into their family right away, but they are all loved regardless. It was very informative.

This book contains a lot of framed illustrations. This helps distinguish when a new story is going to start. There is also a motif. Every time a new story starts, there is a page that shows the smiling child with their own name tag, telling you their story is about to start.

[lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for writing about how many families come together in different ways. Thank you for recognizing and sharing that everyone's normal is not the same.

[Oanh · Rating 3 out of 5]

This children’s book consists of six short stories that covers a variety of multicultural types of families ranging from nuclear families, adoptive and foster families, single-parent families, to extended families as parents. The author, Virginia Kroll, effectively captures snippets of what a dialogue about one’s family beginnings between parent(s) and child may sound like by using age-appropriate terminology and explanations (ex. “You grew inside, giving me a basketball belly,” “my ‘now’ mom,” “Did your empty places get filled up, Mama?”). Kroll also chooses to address different types of family situations that may occur (ex. international and domestic adoptions; the death of a single mom and the uncle becoming the legal guardian; unprepared young parents giving up their child for adoption). I appreciate that Kroll grew up in an interracial and multi-religious household which explains her passion for writing stories that address multicultural issues. I also appreciate how Stacey Schuett incorporates cultural symbols and items (ex. an Asian doll alongside an American doll, the kinara or candle holder lit during Kwanzaa, and people celebrating Kwanzaa in their traditional garb) in the illustrations to add authenticity and even more multicultural diversity.

As a teacher, I would use this book to not only discuss different types of families and family situations, but also touch on origins of one’s name. Each “chapter” of the book is named after the child of focus in the respective short story. In most of the stories, the families discuss with their child what their name means or who they were named after (ex. Ruben means ‘Behold, a son,’ Mee Kyong means ‘Beauty and Brightness’ but she was later given an American name of ‘Katherine Grace’ after her adoptive parents’ mothers, ‘Habib’ means ‘beloved’). This could easily inspire a cultural assignment by asking students to talk to their parents or families about their name or family beginnings and to write their own “chapter” to add to the “Beginnings: How Families Come to Be” book.

[Isis Woods · Rating 5 out of 5]

This children’s book consists of six short stories that displays a variety of multicultural types of families. I believe this book does a great job of exposing children to multiple perspectives and cultural values, because it strays away from stereotypes and biases, while still showing accurate speech and lifestyles of different cultures. The family structures shown in this book range from two parent families, adoptive families, single parent families, and even extended family members as guardians. The plot, setting, illustrations, and characters would definitely keep children attentive to the story. I also appreciate this story for addressing multiple religions, and ways of become a parents -- for example a death of a single mother, who's brother becomes the guardian of her child. This books gets five stars in my opinion!

[Terry]

The stories not only describe all types of family situations (infant and child adoption, international, domestic and single-parent adoption) but also introduce multi-cultural families and different settings (urban, suburban).

There's more to our review on The Reading Tub®.