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Bear in Mind These Dead
Nearly 4000 people were killed during the Northern Irish Troubles. This book explores the difficult legacy of this conflict for families, friends and communities by interviewing those who loved the missing and the dead, as well as some who narrowly survived.
432 pages, Paperback
First published April 2, 2009
11 people are currently reading
286 people want to read
About the author
Susan McKay
21 books9 followersSusan McKay is a journalist and commentator who previously served as Northern editor of the Sunday Tribune.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
May 30, 2012
This is a harrowing but amazing account of the 'Troubles' in Northern Ireland and gives real insight into what life was like for the ordinary people of both communities. Absolutely essential reading for someone like me growing up in the south of Ireland who remained more or less oblivious to what was going on in my own country. Heartrending stuff.
May 15, 2011
Definitely one of the best books I've read on the Troubles. Looks at the human angle through personal stories of people who lost family or friends to the violence, with the timeline and history interspersed through the person stories. Highly recommend.
August 31, 2015
This book gives you a real insight into the lives of the Northern Irish people affected by the Troubles. At times a very disturbing and upsetting read as there is violence, anger and grief but there is also forgiveness.
December 10, 2014
What I like about this book is that sides are not picked, each side of the "troubles" are shown to have suffered and been a victim of loss.
A good book if you are interested in the history of Northern Ireland.
A good book if you are interested in the history of Northern Ireland.
December 28, 2012
A difficult read that does much to personalize and humanize 'The Troubles'
August 18, 2025
I really appreciate this book for hammering home what I’ve been saying for years – that proportionately, the number of deaths and injuries that occurred during the Troubles was absolutely catastrophic; that it was a war and a devastating one at that. I’ve been unfortunate enough to have to use the same tactic McKay does in the opening of this book, which is to calculate the same percentage of killed and injured in a larger country – such as the US – in order to drive home how terrible this war was. I knew from the moment that McKay opened with the same tactic that I could trust her to really bring home just what the Troubles were all about, and she more than delivered. My only criticism is that I spotted a slightly higher number of typos that I’d expect, and several quotations were paraphrased without being denoted as such, and the paraphrases were often inaccurate past what would be edited for clarity of sentence structure.
Every word in this book is dedicated to hammering home the horror of this war and highlighting how it left Northern Ireland deeply and dreadfully damaged. Growing up in the shadow of the Troubles – right at the awkward moment where it was close enough to remember and the final shockwaves were still passing through, yet the older generation wanted to forget and move on – really messed me up, as it did with many of my generation. I was impressed by the scope of this book with that in mind – McKay follows the Troubles from their beginning in the late sixties all the way to the mid-2000s, which was immensely gratifying as it includes the death of a friend of mine who apparently died after the Troubles ended, which McKay expertly reveals was not the case – they continued long after the Good Friday Agreement was signed, and tensions remain today.
That isn’t to say it’s as bad as it was in the seventies, but the fact is that wars don’t die quietly and they leave their mark. McKay brings this home in such excruciating detail that it was a very difficult read at times, but she does the whole time period such thorough justice that I have to recommend it to everyone. No matter your knowledge beforehand, you will get something from this; I especially want to recommend it to everyone who does not view what happened in Northern Ireland as a war – a sentiment I’ve seen from my own people. I think this comes in part from a natural rejection of the horror of it, but this is our collective past and we must face it. We all survived a war. We won’t be able to move on from it in any meaningful way until this basic fact is acknowledged, and McKay leaves no doubt as to the toll it took on everyone: Protestants, Catholics, police, paramilitaries, the British Army… anyone who was involved has their story here.
This book is not afraid to say that yes, it was that bad, and no, there’s nothing redeeming about it. It’s not afraid to tell us to sit with it a while, to really take in what we lost. It ends with peace but it is not wishy-washy and overly optimistic – it’s not without hope but it still does not forget that we are talking about the aftermath of a war here and thousands are dead and they are not coming back. Thousands more are wounded, physically and psychologically; thousands more are bereaved. It bears witness to the war in a way I’ve not seen since Lost Lives, but this book slows down, focuses on a select number of people, and gets right into their stories. It’s powerful, devastating, and an excellent testimony. It looks at where we’ve come from in unflinching detail and, in doing so, reminds us why we can never go there again.
Every word in this book is dedicated to hammering home the horror of this war and highlighting how it left Northern Ireland deeply and dreadfully damaged. Growing up in the shadow of the Troubles – right at the awkward moment where it was close enough to remember and the final shockwaves were still passing through, yet the older generation wanted to forget and move on – really messed me up, as it did with many of my generation. I was impressed by the scope of this book with that in mind – McKay follows the Troubles from their beginning in the late sixties all the way to the mid-2000s, which was immensely gratifying as it includes the death of a friend of mine who apparently died after the Troubles ended, which McKay expertly reveals was not the case – they continued long after the Good Friday Agreement was signed, and tensions remain today.
That isn’t to say it’s as bad as it was in the seventies, but the fact is that wars don’t die quietly and they leave their mark. McKay brings this home in such excruciating detail that it was a very difficult read at times, but she does the whole time period such thorough justice that I have to recommend it to everyone. No matter your knowledge beforehand, you will get something from this; I especially want to recommend it to everyone who does not view what happened in Northern Ireland as a war – a sentiment I’ve seen from my own people. I think this comes in part from a natural rejection of the horror of it, but this is our collective past and we must face it. We all survived a war. We won’t be able to move on from it in any meaningful way until this basic fact is acknowledged, and McKay leaves no doubt as to the toll it took on everyone: Protestants, Catholics, police, paramilitaries, the British Army… anyone who was involved has their story here.
This book is not afraid to say that yes, it was that bad, and no, there’s nothing redeeming about it. It’s not afraid to tell us to sit with it a while, to really take in what we lost. It ends with peace but it is not wishy-washy and overly optimistic – it’s not without hope but it still does not forget that we are talking about the aftermath of a war here and thousands are dead and they are not coming back. Thousands more are wounded, physically and psychologically; thousands more are bereaved. It bears witness to the war in a way I’ve not seen since Lost Lives, but this book slows down, focuses on a select number of people, and gets right into their stories. It’s powerful, devastating, and an excellent testimony. It looks at where we’ve come from in unflinching detail and, in doing so, reminds us why we can never go there again.
July 6, 2023
Read many books on the subject ( the troubles), and they range from ok to excellent.
This book is one of the best. The theme is talking to the families of people killed. Who ranged from teens to grandparents . The author doesn't have an agenda which spoils some books on this topic.
Might buy her book on protestants, seeing that I liked this book.
This book is one of the best. The theme is talking to the families of people killed. Who ranged from teens to grandparents . The author doesn't have an agenda which spoils some books on this topic.
Might buy her book on protestants, seeing that I liked this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 13, 2020
One of the most poignant books written about the Troubles
April 1, 2021
One of the most important books I’ve ever read. Susan McKay gives voice to the families of victims of The Troubles and tells the story of those who lost their lives.
March 8, 2022
Review to come.
September 23, 2024
3.5 stars
February 12, 2012
Book club read for Dialogues Through Literature Project
This is a horrendous book. It deals with violence, death, grief and pain.
This book is about the victims of the troubles in Northern Ireland. It is about those who lost loved ones and those who survived attacks but wear the scars, both physical and psychological for the rest of their lives. It is a book about Protestants and Catholics, about people who were actively involved in the armed struggle and those who only found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is a book about those left behind, carrying a loss and a pain that never lessens.
When atrocities happen the news media are always eager to talk to the victims or their relatives, to splash the sensational story all over the front pages, catch the headlines and the attention of the rest of the world. Once the news has been reported though, it is no longer news. The reporters move on to the next big story, the next big headline, while the victims suddenly find themselves deserted. The pain of loss as big as ever, the rest of the world suddenly doesn’t want to know anymore.
This book acknowledges the fact that the pain and loss are something the victims carry with them for life. It tells both the stories of the murders and non-lethal attacks as well as the story of the aftermath, of what the survivors are still going though, 5, 10, 20 and even more years after the fact. Suicides, clinical depression, alcoholism, heart-failure, the damage done to those who survived is horrendous and almost unimaginable. It is a story worth telling and a story that should be read by the rest of us who almost never find out what happens after the spotlight switches to the next story. Because, while this is a book about the people who suffered as a result of the troubles surrounding Northern Ireland, this is of course a universal story about all people who ever had to live through violent conflicts, see the devastation and still try to live a “normal” life afterwards.
I remember, years ago, watching a programme on Dutch television about two families from Belfast who had become great friends during a holiday in Spain, only to tell the interviewer how they wouldn’t be meeting each other when they returned home again. Because they were from different religions, it just wasn’t safe to be seen to be friends. I couldn’t get my head around that concept at the time, and if I’m honest, I still don’t completely get it. I don’t think it is possible for anyone who hasn’t lived through the situation to completely get it.
This is a very difficult book to read, the pain and devastation are heartbreaking while, for me, the violence feeding on violence and growing ever bigger and more intense is incomprehensible. It is probably not a book to read back to back without interruption, like I did. Since this was a book club read and there were others waiting to read it after I finished it, I felt I had to keep on going. Were I to advise anybody on the best way to read this book I’d probably tell them to read it in small portions. That way they wouldn’t have to deal with the constant stream of pain and loss, and it would give them time to deal with the feelings these personal stories evoked in them.
As for me, I am glad I read this book. This is a story that needs telling and, more importantly, a book that needs to be read and maybe some of us will take something from the book. Some understanding we didn’t have before, a nuanced view where previously we only saw black and white. If this book opens the eyes of just one person who was blind before it will have achieved its goal.
While most of the book left me with a feeling of despair, the last 30 pages or so did lift me up. The words there seem to indicate that although prejudice and anger are by no means over, there are signs that people, especially the younger generation, have a broader view and a more positive outlook. I hope that is true, and that it is an attitude that’s growing and winning ground because if so then maybe the words that kept on running through my head while I was reading this book won’t apply anymore. The line that kept on running through my head may be from a song written for a different conflict but the words: “men’s blind indifference to his fellow men” seemed to fit what is described here all to well.
This is a horrendous book. It deals with violence, death, grief and pain.
This book is about the victims of the troubles in Northern Ireland. It is about those who lost loved ones and those who survived attacks but wear the scars, both physical and psychological for the rest of their lives. It is a book about Protestants and Catholics, about people who were actively involved in the armed struggle and those who only found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is a book about those left behind, carrying a loss and a pain that never lessens.
When atrocities happen the news media are always eager to talk to the victims or their relatives, to splash the sensational story all over the front pages, catch the headlines and the attention of the rest of the world. Once the news has been reported though, it is no longer news. The reporters move on to the next big story, the next big headline, while the victims suddenly find themselves deserted. The pain of loss as big as ever, the rest of the world suddenly doesn’t want to know anymore.
This book acknowledges the fact that the pain and loss are something the victims carry with them for life. It tells both the stories of the murders and non-lethal attacks as well as the story of the aftermath, of what the survivors are still going though, 5, 10, 20 and even more years after the fact. Suicides, clinical depression, alcoholism, heart-failure, the damage done to those who survived is horrendous and almost unimaginable. It is a story worth telling and a story that should be read by the rest of us who almost never find out what happens after the spotlight switches to the next story. Because, while this is a book about the people who suffered as a result of the troubles surrounding Northern Ireland, this is of course a universal story about all people who ever had to live through violent conflicts, see the devastation and still try to live a “normal” life afterwards.
I remember, years ago, watching a programme on Dutch television about two families from Belfast who had become great friends during a holiday in Spain, only to tell the interviewer how they wouldn’t be meeting each other when they returned home again. Because they were from different religions, it just wasn’t safe to be seen to be friends. I couldn’t get my head around that concept at the time, and if I’m honest, I still don’t completely get it. I don’t think it is possible for anyone who hasn’t lived through the situation to completely get it.
This is a very difficult book to read, the pain and devastation are heartbreaking while, for me, the violence feeding on violence and growing ever bigger and more intense is incomprehensible. It is probably not a book to read back to back without interruption, like I did. Since this was a book club read and there were others waiting to read it after I finished it, I felt I had to keep on going. Were I to advise anybody on the best way to read this book I’d probably tell them to read it in small portions. That way they wouldn’t have to deal with the constant stream of pain and loss, and it would give them time to deal with the feelings these personal stories evoked in them.
As for me, I am glad I read this book. This is a story that needs telling and, more importantly, a book that needs to be read and maybe some of us will take something from the book. Some understanding we didn’t have before, a nuanced view where previously we only saw black and white. If this book opens the eyes of just one person who was blind before it will have achieved its goal.
While most of the book left me with a feeling of despair, the last 30 pages or so did lift me up. The words there seem to indicate that although prejudice and anger are by no means over, there are signs that people, especially the younger generation, have a broader view and a more positive outlook. I hope that is true, and that it is an attitude that’s growing and winning ground because if so then maybe the words that kept on running through my head while I was reading this book won’t apply anymore. The line that kept on running through my head may be from a song written for a different conflict but the words: “men’s blind indifference to his fellow men” seemed to fit what is described here all to well.
March 15, 2012
Very hard reading due to the content of the book, but an outlet for those who feel the need to have their voices heard regarding the Troubles.
September 13, 2012
Essential reading.
April 18, 2017
Harrowing, moving and often brutal yet I was touched by the strength and determination of those interviewed.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews