To Pray and to Love: Conversations on Prayer with the Early Church

by Roberta C. Bondi

To Pray and to Love is for all persons who want to pray but do not know how, who pray but feel uncertain about it, and who pray happily but want to grow more deeply. For those who have longing for prayer and yet have never prayed, the author offers some specific suggestions about attitudes, beliefs, and dispositions that get in the way of our prayer without us even noticing. Bondi also shares some of what the founders of early monasticism had to say about prayer and Christian love that she has found especially helpful over the years.

Genres: Prayer, Spirituality, Theology, Christian, Nonfiction, Religion, History

152 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 1991

Reviews

[Phil · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book took a little while for me to warm up to, but it was well worth the effort, once I did. I first encountered Bondi's name in Kathleen Norris, which had prompted me to look her up. I'm glad I did because I found Bondi's handling of prayer really thoughtful and helpful.

Strictly speaking, I'd say this book falls under the category of spiritual theology as it explores prayer and how we understand prayer. It draws heavily on the Desert Fathers, which makes it a draw for me- patristics geek that I am. Bondi expertly blends the sayings of these desert monks with concerns in the modern world in such a way as to produce really important insights on how we pray. That, for me, is worth the price of admission.

I really do recommend this book for those seeking greater understanding of prayer.

[allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best books about prayer that I've ever read. She gets a little academic at times, but the approach is so emphatically compassionate toward our humanity that it's worth muddling through the drier sections.

[Denise Kettering · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book deals predominantly with how to use historical materials as guidelines and inspiration for prayer. Bondi highlights many of the common fallacies that humans make when thinking about prayer and then points to correctives for these problems using the language and sayings of the desert fathers. This book is a wonderful and helpful book on spirituality that doesn't tell you how to pray, but suggests ways of prayer that can be helpful and constructive to Christians who both struggle with prayer and those who are comfortable. There is an easy flow to the writing with a practical quality.Bondi focuses throughout the book on many of the common problems that Christians have when trying to pray. Especially she focuses on the guilt that we are not praying correctly and the idea that we are not worthy to pray. The book then addresses these concerns, particularly emphasizing the need to balance virtues and passions. Although Bondi strongly emphasizes that there is no necessary pattern for prayer, she does suggest several things that may aid in the process. This book is helpful both as an introduction to the desert fathers and also as a guide to developing a prayer life.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really good book about growing closer to God. I loved how she incorporated so many stories from the monastics. I do think it is vitally important to read this book in community since that really is the whole premise to the book: in order to grow closer to God we must grow closer to our neighbors. It is also a book that takes time to digest. Although it is a short book, we spent about 4 months on it. My only complaint was that the Kindle version did not have page numbers and therefore I could never tell where I was in the chapter!

[Megan Pierce · Rating 5 out of 5]

An unexpected gift of a book, incredibly gentle and holistic in its contents and tone. Delved into how prayer and our relationship to God is intimately connected to our ability to give and receive love. Made me think differently about prayer and consider how my personality affects my relationship with God. Will need to buy a copy, to reread and take notes in it

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful guide through the teachings of the desert fathers and mothers. I learned a lot about prayer and its connection to daily living. The chapters are a bit disconnected, feeling more like a series of one-off lectures rather than a seamless teaching.

[Michael Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful way to look at love and prayer and their role in our lives through the eyes of early Church Fathers.

[Darcy Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is just what i needed to read in this time.

[Mauberley]

"In Your light we see light..."

What a wonderful introduction to prayer! Bondi's book is a marvel - erudite, lucid, and passionate. The author says that she has not written a book that tells us how to pray and she she is absolutely correct because what she has given us is a book that makes you want to pray. The illustrations from the teachings of the desert Ammas and Abbas are a delight. And I was captivated by the structure that unites a concrete self, the community of the world, and God. To borrow from Lou Reed, when I finished the book, I truly felt that I was beginning to see the Light.

[Carla H.]

This book was given to me by a friend, and I owe her a debt of gratitude! There were some very helpful insights offered here, as well as practical guidance on the practice of the spiritual discipline of prayer (or in a United Methodist context - the Means of Grace.) Bondi's use of sayings of the Abbas and Ammas and her interpretations of those sayings in contemporary understanding were also perceptive.

[Kim Becker (MIDDLE of the Book MARCH) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread. This is a profound and beautiful book not just on prayer, but on psychology, theology, sociology...etc. Bondi relates the contemplative act of prayer to an act of love that simply expands God's love from the pray-er to the prayed for. I will reread this many more times in my life.

[Dave Benson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read to Love as God Loves in Seminary and was fascinated by the material but this book was on a whole different level for me. I don't know, maybe because it wasn't assigned reading but I simply LOVED this book. I wish that I could pray, live, and love in such a way.

[Vanessa Siemens · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved this book. have never fully understood the connections between prayer and love but bondi articulates some profound truths with clarity and with great examples of those who have come before us in the early church.

[David Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the academic and practical nature of this book. Bondi writes concerning the early practices of monastics and their insights into the journey of prayer. The book was eye opening to me as I desired to create such practices of prayer, but I was able to learn that prayer is our own journey.

[Summer Kinard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Concise introduction to the desert fathers that includes lots of quotations. Highly recommend to newcomers to this part of the Christian tradition.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Profound book on prayer. Very engaging and insightful. Will recommend it often.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Being aware that the basic stuff of all our lives is desire for God and friendship is one thing; living into that desire and friendship is another. The monastics knew very well that for most of us, if we are ever to become ‘all fland,’ we must spend a very long time dwelling in smoke.”

It has been awhile since I read this book. Bondi came to visit the college where my husband works and I planned to attend her lecture. Unfortunately, we had a family funeral to attend and so, the lecture went unheard (by me) and all of Bondi’s books went to the wayside.

I did not find Bondi’s writing to be unhelpful or boring. I just got sidetracked. I will say that reading so much by one author is a bit overwhelming. Sometimes Bondi repeats her stories or her points, but I don’t think she expected anyone to sit down and read everything right in a row.

This work looks at what the desert fathers and mothers had to say about praying to G!d. Bondi is using these people to get her contemporaries to see prayer as essential to their faith. Bondi sees prayer as the embodiment of our relationship with G!d.

Over my years of faith, I have read a bit by and about the desert mothers and fathers. However, it was all piecemeal to me. Bondi has shown me these people as people and as fellow believers. I have enjoyed meeting them.

If you are Christian, and want to know more about those who have preceded you in our faith, this is a good place to start.