The Virgin of Bennington

by Kathleen Norris

Shy and sheltered as a young woman, Kathleen Norris wasn't prepared for the sex, drugs, and bohemianism of Bennington College in the late 1960s-and when she moved to New York City after graduation, it was a case of out of the frying pan and into the fire. In this chronicle, Norris remembers the education she received, both formal and fortuitous; the influence of her mentor Betty Kray, who shunned the spotlight while serving as a guiding force in the poetry world of the late 20th century; her encounters with such figures as James Merrill, Jim Carroll, Denise Levertov, Stanley Kunitz, Patti Smith, and Erica Jong; and her eventual decision to leave Manhattan for the less-crowded landscape she described so memorably in Dakota. This account of the making of a young writer will resonate with anyone who has stumbled bravely into a bigger world and found the poetry that lurks on rooftops and in railroad apartments-and with anyone who has enjoyed the blessings of inspiring teachers and great friends.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Poetry, Biography, Spirituality, Religion

256 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2001

About the author

Kathleen Norris was born on July 27, 1947 in Washington, D.C. She grew up in Honolulu, Hawaii, as well as on her maternal grandparents’ farm in Lemmon, South Dakota.

Her sheltered upbringing left her unprepared for the world she encountered when she began attending Bennington College in Vermont. At first shocked by the unconventionality surrounding her, Norris took refuge in poetry.

After she graduated in 1969, she moved to New York City where she joined the arts scene, associated with members of the avant-garde movement including Andy Warhol, and worked for the American Academy of Poets.

In 1974, her grandmother died leaving Norris the family farm in South Dakota, and she and her future husband, the poet David Dwyer, decided to temporarily relocate there until arrangements to rent or sell the property could be made. Instead, they ended up remaining in South Dakota for the next 25 years.

Soon after moving to the rural prairie, Norris developed a relationship with the nearby Benedictine abbey, which led to her eventually becoming an oblate.

In 2000, Norris and her husband traded their farmhouse on the Great Plains for a condo in Honolulu, Hawaii, so that Norris could help care for her aging parents after her husband’s own failing health no longer permitted him to travel. Her father died in 2002, and her husband died the following year in 2003.

Reviews

[Jan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poet Kathleen Norris's coming-of-age memoir of 1970s literary New York is rather flatly written and clogged with name-dropping of literati and Warhol-era glitterati. It's also obtusely self-congratulatory. While she seems proud of her virginity during her early years at Bennington, she sleeps her way into a job at the American Academy of Poets via a liaison with a married professor, then details other sexual liaisons that may have helped her career throughout the book.

She condemns the ambition of other poets, but pretends that her own way to early publication and a position at the center of the literary world just sort of happened by accident. Her later adoption of fervent Roman Catholicism and condemnation of the shallowness of other Bennington girls' sexual license just sort of struck my as similar to that of John Donne and St. Augustine: sleep around a lot in your youth, then repent when you're old and impotent and get all religious about it.

Though the title "The Virgin of Bennington" suggests that this will be autobiography, it's also an adulatory biography of the author's mentor Betty Kray, who ran the American Academy of Poets. Another review mentions that Betty Kray commissioned the book. That might explain the confusion of subject. The book is mildly interesting for its history of part of the American literary scene and its portrayal of period, but it's no must-read.

[Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

After I read this book, I wrote to Kathleen immediately. I mentioned something like "I think its the best book you've written." Dakota, I said, was Kathleen trying be a writer. Cloister Walk was a writer trying to be a writer. Amazing Grace was a writer trying to be Katheleen. The Virgin of Bennington is Kathleen being Kathleen. She was commissioned to write this book by its principal character, who she worked for and with upon graduation from Bennington College, and who, because of their friendship, she was called back to New York to be at her side during her final cancer days. It is wonderful window into the world of poetry in the Sixties and beyond, which is also a window in the the culture of the times. Highly recommended.

[Edith · Rating 5 out of 5]

In response to some of the reviews of this book, I DO “do poetry” and am loving every moment of Kathleen Norris’s discussions of it. And the fact that this book could also be seen as a eulogy to Betty Kray makes it even better. How wonderful that Norris tells us about Betty and her ceaseless devotion to poets and poetry. I am delighted to know about Betty Kray-a person about whom I would know nothing if not for Norris’s eloquent tribute to her and the poets she served. This book is marvelous in every way. I rate this book as highly as the other books by Norris that have fed my mind and spirit since the mid 1990’s.

It was an amazing journey to read this book. The Virgin of Bennington made this Christmas season all the more meaningful for me since I was absorbed in it throughout the holidays. Norris’s words bore into my heart with such eloquence that I am left breathless. If there has ever been a book that makes another person come alive and that surely must make us all thankful that we inhabited a planet with this person in it, it is this tribute by Kathleen Norris to Elizabeth Kray.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is one of my favorite books. I read it when it came out sometime during my first year out of college, then again within a few years of moving to NYC, and again this past week. If you are involved in literary NYC, love Joan Didion's "Goodbye to All That," love poetry, and love NYC (but grew up elsewhere and have a strong sense of home), you will love this book.

My copy is underlined and dog-eared in a way that I usually do not annotate books. I get choked up on the subway reading it. It's an unsung book and I need to read Norris's other work, but I don't know if I'll respond the same way. This book really has nothing to do with being a virgin or with Bennington College, but has everything to do with becoming an adult in NYC and loving language. It's also the story of a remarkable woman named Elizabeth Kray, whom I feel I know even though she died years ago. Mentors have a way of transcending mortality.

Find it. Read it. I can't lend you mine. It's too precious.

[Katherine Pershey]

Ack. It took me forever to get through this, and I still don't think I'll finish the last 30 pages. I have liked some of Norris's other books, but this one just fell so flat for me. I get it that she ran with a lot of literary luminaries, but it felt like a lot of name dropping. It would have been better if it were a more standard nonfiction account of the beginning of poetry arts administration rather than an awkward memoir hybrid that felt impersonal and distanced yet strangely self-obsessed. Compared to her other books, it wasn't even particularly well-written or moving.

I might have given it two stars for some of the fun stories about poets I like, but the overall effect of the book was, for me, decidedly one-starred.

[Craig Werner · Rating 1 out of 5]

Memoir written primarily to honor Noris's mentor, Betty Kray who did heroic work nurturing poets and institutions helping spread poetry, especially in the 1960s. Norris is an excellent stylist in her later books, but this feels like it was dashed off. Lots of repetition, no particular direction.

[Jason Panella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Norris's "memoir" is, more than anything else, more of a document honoring the efforts of her mentor, Betty Kray. It's very much an anti-memoir, in a lot of ways, and I found it so unhurried and unessential that it made me realize it was very much its own thing. I like this one a lot.

[Fran Darling · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book over 10 yrs. ago. It was a very interesting autobiographical look at a young girl's education at the very liberal Bennington College and subsequent move to New York city to start her writing career. She worked at the Academy of American Poets as an assistant for over 7 yrs during the cultural "revolution" of the 1960's and early '70's. Kathleen is a beautiful, insightful writer. She comes to grips with her own personal development as a writer and as a person in the midst of this fantastic social scene.
The core of the story, however, is the parallel biography of Betty Kray woven throughout Kathleen's story. Betty is the director of Academy of American Poets and a pioneer in arts administration. It was Betty's focus and dedication to poetry, its communication of meaning and emotion through the language of the people. She stressed that development of personal language was the most important, tool of the poet brought to life through his/her unique vision. This is what grounded Kathleen in her own quest and eventually carried her to her family roots in North Dakota.
I am so glad to re-read this book to uncover this basic theme and what is actually a tribute to human ability to rise above the conditions of everyday life through thought, language and creativity.

[Peggy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir starts out to be the story of Kathleen Norris and her years at Bennington College and in New York City. Soon it is taken over by Betty Kray, her boss, mentor, and friend. Kray was the executive director of the Academy of American Poets, and hired Norris as an assistant while she was still a college student. Norris describes a heady atmosphere of working to promote poetry in the city of New York and encountering numerous intensely gifted poets of the time (1969 and the early 70s). But the real story is about Kray, a remarkable woman who was instrumental in developing the talents of numerous poets and who developed programs that brought poets into the city schools, awarded prizes for poems and books of poetry, and developed grants and programs that were later adopted by state arts organizations in the later 70s and 80s. It's gratifying to read about people dedicated to the purpose of making poetry accessible to those who might not otherwise find it and to create the conditions for poetry to get written. What an admirable task! The story of how it was done is worth reading and Norris's personal journey is also engrossing. Highly recommended for anyone interested in 20th century poetry.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kathleen Norris' books have been a comfort to me. Her poetry speaks volumes and her books on Christianity have a permanent place on my shelf and in my heart.

The subject of this book is more autobiography, it is her coming of age story and I think it is excellent. She lived in NYC at a wild time and had a dream job. Norris got to experience parts of life that I would have been afraid to try - still probably am.

The best parts, for me were about her job. She worked for the American Academy of Poets, for Elizabeth Kray. I had never heard of Kray, but her influence filters down to my present job. Kray worked hard to integrate poetry into American life.

If you have ever encountered Norris' essays or poetry, I strongly recommend this book. Norris has led an enviable life.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice complement to the Patti Smith memoir I just read, as this also is a young woman's coming of age in NYC in the early '70s while becoming an artist. I enjoyed the first 2/3 of the book, which is a chronologically disjointed straight memoir of going from being a shy, Midwestern girl to a shy, urban sophisticate. Throughout the book she writes of her mentor, legendary champion of American poetry, Betty Kray. However, the last third of the book is a mini Betty Kray biography and tribute, which I actually found more interesting than Kathleen's own life. I'd give this 3.5 stars, but I'll round up to 4 since Norris' writing was lyrical and thoughtful -- but wish she'd written a full-on bio of Kray.

[Margaret R · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title to this book is clearly misleading. It is really a biography for Elizabeth Kray who was a mentor for Kathleen Norris. Betty started many of the efforts to make poetry and poets more well known in the US. Kathleen worked for her for a few years and Betty supported her efforts to become a good writer.
I did enjoy learning names of poets that I should consider reading as well as other authors and books that I should read.
Had I stopped before the final 2 chapters, I would have rated this 1 star, maybe none. It is truly boring. But the last 50 pages or so, Kathleen talks about the need for language, language that has depth of meaning. It was lacking in her small town childhood as it was in Betty Kray's and mine.
It was worth the struggle getting through it, just for that.

[Emilia P · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a little sad about how long it took me to read this book.
Let it be said--the Bennington stuff only lasts for one chapter. And it mostly a reflection on how people went a little crazy, and she just didn't and that was okay. Most of the book was about her being a young poet and person in New York City in the late 60s, doing some unwise things, being timid about some things, and learning to use her sense of wonder to write good poetry. I liked learning about how poetry has to be both art and craft, and that sometimes you have to be patient with it. Which maybe is self-evident, but I need to hear it a lot. Very good, and fresh and almost upbeat, Kathleen. I learn a lot from you.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book is like getting a good dose of literary history, along with name-dropping of folks like Patti Smith, Jim Carroll and Andy Warhol's assistant, Gerard Melanga. But it's not just the name-dropping that is fascinating; after all, celebrity gossip is not enough to entice a reader of literature. It's also a story of a writer coming into her own, with help from Betty Kray and Experience. Inspiring and wise, that's what both Betty Kray (as director of the YMHA, Academy, and Poets House) and Kathleen Norris offer us in this tale of writing, learning and growing.

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Virgin of Bennington is Kathleen Norris's memoir of her time in New York City during college. I was thrilled to learn that our quiet town librarian had tasted the seedy life in the 1960's complete with sex, drugs, new and old friendships, and even a love affair with a college professor. She also explores her decision to leave the big city and come back to our small town to focus on her writing (this is something I always wondered about as a kid -- why does she choose to live in this boring town when she could live anywhere?). This is my favorite of Norris's books.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked this alot. This book is, in many ways, a celebration of Betty Kray. While it does touch a lot (especially in the beginning) on the author's experience at Bennington College...it doesn't take all that long to get her to New York City. Working for Betty Kray she came into contacts with poets at a time when Betty Kray was finding ways to get poets more in the public eye and life. In fact the artist - in -residence programs available through the NEA have Betty to thank (and often don't thank her!). It's well written and tells an interesting story.

[Lee White · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book left me wanting to know more: More about Norris' years at Bennington (which was really only touched on), more about Norris' time and transition in South Dakota (so I need to re-read Dakota), and more about her mentor, Betty Kray. I found Kray to be a fascinating and inspiring woman, and I've never read another book that so beautifully captures the role a gifted mentor can play in the life of a young woman. Based on the title, this book wasn't quite what I expected, but it was insightful, thought-provoking, inspiring and a joy to read.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this book will appeal to those who enjoy or are interested in the making of poetry, the art scene in New York in the sixties through eighties, or to fans of Kathleen Norris. I'm glad that I read Dakota and the Cloister Walk before reading this. The Virgin of Bennington is a lovely memoir of a certain time and place, and of an important mentor and friend of Norris's, Elizabeth Kray. As usual with Kathleen Norris, her prose is often perfect, and always moving. A very good book.

[Juliana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first Norris book I've read, mostly by accident. Her prose is engaging, thoughtful, and honest. The stories of her coming of age in New York and the influence of Betty Kray weaves a eloquent story of the mistakes, regrets, and lessons learned. It tells of what a life well lived looks like.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is K. Norris' narrative of the beginnings of her life as a poet, of the 1960's in NYC, of the astringent effect of poetry on our souls. Names the names of modern poets whose work we ought not miss.

[kristine · Rating 2 out of 5]

NOT about her time at Bennington, NOT really about being an innocent among the wilds, more about her mentor at the Academy of American Poets, Betty Kray.

Which is fine, but it was NOT SOLD AS A BOOK ABOUT THAT.

[S. L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's amazing to me that anyone doesn't like this. Here is an autobiographical work without the word "I" on every page, not to mention a look into the world of the great poets....By itself it may be a little thin, but read as one piece out of her whole body of work, it's perfect.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

I haven't read this woman's poetry and am not inclined to after this elegiac reflection of the 1960s in New York.

[Bridget · Rating 3 out of 5]

I haven't read any of the poetry of Kathleen Norris (yet!) but I know of her memoir Dakota, and honestly, this is one of the very few books I picked up off the shelf based on the title and the reputation of the author. I'm so glad I did. While I found this memoir very uneven (it starts out as a coming of age story but rapidly turns into a love letter to her excellent mentor.) I liked the first half better, but wow--if more artists had mentors like Norris had in Betty Kray, I don't think we could calculate the positive impact it would have on the cultural landscape. I marked a lot of passages in this book for further thought, much like I did Madeleine L'Engle's excellent Walking on Water (though this book certainly didn't have the same impact and pales in comparison to L'Engle's.) Here's a sample, i which Norris is talking about the marriage of Betty and her husband:

“They built a marriage that was at once private and welcoming, and I was interested to find, as my parents’ marriage had produced four children, that this childless couple, who, as one longtime friend of theirs says, ‘did not have an easy relationship, but were extraordinarily close,’ also constituted a family. The best sort of family, in which the members are so at home with one another they create an atmosphere that radiates a nourishing hospitality. I drank it in.

What I took from knowing them was a sense of balance required for a life in the arts, between living in the practical realm and honoring that which transcends it. Between the freedom and the selfishness needed for creative work, and the discipline required to complete that work, in the context of a full life, in which relationships with other people matter.” (Pg. 183)

[Kathy Megaw · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Virgin of Bennington was not at all what I expected or hoped for. The title and the blurb led me to believe the book would be an interesting memoir about Norris' journey from being a naive, sheltered girl in Hawaii to becoming a published poet in NYC and finally, to a domesticated resident of rural South Dakota. However, very little is told, by Kathleen, of her own story. After the first chapter, the book becomes mainly a tribute to and a description of Betty Kray who was at the time, executive director of American Poets as well as Kathleen's employer.

In her book, Norris delves into Betty's personality, Betty's childhood, Betty's marriage, her interests and passions and accomplishments, etc. Kathleen also shares with her readers, many examples of the advice, guidance and words of wisdom that Betty imparted on her throughout their relationship.

I agree with Kathleen that Betty was indeed an admirable person and I believe that each one of us could likely glean valuable information from her wisdom. Kray, who was co-founder of Poets House, made great strides in the realm of American poetry. Evidently, a gift of extraordinary insight had been bestowed on Betty along with a remarkable skill of dealing with people.

Regrettably, I found The Virgin of Bennington to be quite dull and uneventful. I was determined to persevere to the end, hoping for some profound or entertaining material that never came. I am tempted to give one of Norris' other books a try, as their topics have piqued my interest. I do hope the content of the others is true to the books' summaries.

On the positive side, The Virgin of Bennington was a reminder of the astounding talent it takes to combine creative thought with wonderful words in a way that makes beautiful poetry. I am thankful for the writers who have been blessed with the ability to provide the rest of us with the enjoyment of pleasurable reading.

[AngelaGay Kinkead · Rating 3 out of 5]

First, I'm already a Kathleen Norris fan, but I enjoyed some of the autobiographical material. More so, I enjoyed her discourses on the art of writing. A decent read but if you don't read the last few chapters, you've missed the point of the book. If you've ever had a mentor or were a mentor, you'll be touched.

[Jeanine · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you ever choose to read the Cloister Walk also by Kathleen Norriss read The Virgin of Bennington. Cloister Walk makes so much more sense if you read the Virggin first. I didn't wand was confused!
These are true stories. They are about Kathleen's life.

[Sherilyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was not my favorite Kathleen Norris book, but did have a full appreciation for her transparency and the opportunity to learn more about her life experiences. She certainly had a different youth and young adulthood than I imagined.

[Gary Boschee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like Norris' style and her mindset towards her life story. This book was a breath of fresh air, and provided me some significant insight into Norris' background. I did, however think that an addition to the subtitle might have been "and a tribute to Betty Kray."

[Sheila Confer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what I expected. Lots of name dropping and telling of other people's stories. I won this book in a raffle and was intrigued by the title because I love Bennington, VT. I didn't really know who Kathleen Norris was before reading.