Rad Dad: Dispatches from the Frontiers of Fatherhood

by Tomas Moniz (Editor), Jeremy Adam Smith (Editor)

Rad Dispatches from the Frontiers of Fatherhood combines the best pieces from the award-winning zine Rad Dad and from the blog Daddy Dialectic , two kindred publications that have tried to explore parenting as political territory. Both of these projects have pushed the conversation around fathering beyond the safe, apolitical focus most books and websites stick to; they have not been complacent but have worked hard to create a diverse, multi-faceted space in which to grapple with the complexity of fathering. Today more than ever, fatherhood demands constant improvisation, risk, and struggle. With grace and honesty and strength, Rad Dad’s writers tackle all the issues that other parenting guides are afraid to the brutalities, beauties, and politics of the birth experience, the challenges of parenting on an equal basis with mothers, the tests faced by transgendered and gay fathers, the emotions of sperm donation, and parental confrontations with war, violence, racism, and incarceration. Rad Dad is for every father out in the real world trying to parent in ways that are loving, meaningful, authentic, and ultimately revolutionary. Contributors Steve Almond, Jack Amoureux, Mike Araujo, Mark Andersen, Jeff Chang, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Jeff Conant, Sky Cosby, Jason Denzin, Cory Doctorow, Craig Elliott, Chip Gagnon, Keith Hennessy, David L. Hoyt, Simon Knapus, Ian MacKaye, Tomas Moniz, Zappa Montag, Raj Patel, Jeremy Adam Smith, Jason Sperber, Burke Stansbury, Shawn Taylor, Tata, Jeff West, and Mark Whiteley.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Feminism, Activism, Politics, Family, Anthologies

200 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

TOMAS MONIZ is a latinx writer living in Oakland, CA. His debut novel, Big Familia, was a finalist for the 2020 PEN/Hemingway, the LAMBDA, and the Foreward Indies Awards. He edited the popular Rad Dad and Rad Families anthologies. He’s the recipient of the prestigious SF Literary Arts Foundation’s 2016 Award, the 2020 Artist Affiliate for Headlands Center for Arts, and the 2023 Lucas Artists Residency Program Fellow. Among the residencies he's attended the 2022 UCross Residency, the 2020 Caldera Residency, the 2018 SPACE on Ryder Farm and others. He teaches creative writing at Berkeley City College, Ariel Gore’s Literary Kitchen, and the Antioch MFA program. He has stuff on the internet but loves penpals: PO Box 3555, Berkeley CA 94703. He promises to write back.

Reviews

[BookChampions · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book made me realize that raising my daughter or son is going to be the ultimate test of my feminism, that fatherhood can be (and is) a political act. While I know I can't control who my children will grow up to be (nor how "just" the world can be), I can show them how important it is that they fight for a better world and a better self.

As a man and a feminist, I've come to understand my role in making that better world--and that it is found in my day-to-day interactions with young people--whether they are my students, neighborhood children, my niece, or my future kids. Since our culture is in dire need of new myths of gender that will counteract the ones that tell little girls they need to "look pretty" to be good or that tell little boys that being aggressive is just "being a man," Rad Dad and the similar books that will soon follow are essential. Books like this one redesign who a father is and dispels the notion that fathers should be hands-off breadwinners or diaper-fumbling dopes.

This book is equally about dispelling what feminism is, at a time when so many young adults continue to view feminism as some undesirable extreme. But no, being a feminist (and a man, and a father) is about believing in the possibilities of a more equitable, more just, more free world. I think I have found a new community to join. Viva la Rad Dad!

[C.E. G · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had pretty high hopes for this book, as it claims to combine two things that I'm really fascinated by: masculinity studies and feminist parenting.

But the majority of the essays didn't live up to the promise of exploring how men can parent in "ultimately revolutionary ways." A lot were written by privileged anarchybros who didn't even begin to take a critical perspective, and I felt slightly to intensely annoyed through most of the book.

There were a few good essays, though, and it's a quick read. So I rate it somewhere between 2 and 2.5 stars.

[Tomas Moniz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Um, probably the best book i ever read...

[Ernesto · Rating 3 out of 5]

Un montón de entradas de blog/fanzine sobre cómo ser un padre (con P) rojeras. La idea es muy buena, pero me he pasado todo el libro enarcando la ceja porque da un poco de vergüencita leer cosas como “la vida me cambió cuando me vi cambiando pañales encima de mi mesa de profesor universitario de teoría feminista”. Quiero creer que es porque el libro tiene ya casi 15 años y ha envejecido regu. Aún así hay dos o tres textos muy, muy buenos. Especialmente uno de un padre negro que lleva a su hija al parque, ese me ha tocado mucho la patata.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this as a gift for a rad dad friend and I had to read it before I gave it to him. This book is edited by the founder of Rad Dad zine, Tomas Moniz, and most of the dads who contributed to the book are or were activists in one way or another. They write about the difficulty in raising children according to their non-sexist, non-racist, non-homophobic, non-violent, and non-consumerist ideals. Much of my exposure to parenting young children is through my extended family and it’s refreshing to read about a kind of parenting that aligns more with my own values.

Some ideas that I will carry with me when I raise kids are: raising children is a political act, while you can raise your children using your ideals as models your children are still individuals and will often make choices you do not agree with like sticking to conventional gender binaries or not being an anarchist, it’s okay if you don’t agree with their choices because the really important stuff, like their values, are what matter most and if you are a halfway decent parent your children aren’t going to grow up to be heartless jerks.

My favorite essay was “A Day at the Park” in which a black father talks about taking his multiracial daughter to the park and the hurt that occurs when everyone assumes his daughter is his niece. He thinks it’s because A) black fathers are supposed to be absent from their children’s lives and B) fathers are supposed to be at jobs during the day to provide for their families. That essay really hits at the heart of the sexism, racism, and classicism within our culture. Most of the essays are written by Tomas and while I did like his essays I wish more voices could have been included. A few of the essays felt a little self-congratulatory and I think I like the zine more but I did learn it is possible to have a rad kid even if that kid likes Disney movies and Justin Bieber.

[Juan Manuel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently found out I will be becoming a dad in the future. I a equal parts excited and terrified.
I don't know how will I nurture and teach someone new in this world to be good. To do good. To be better than I am and make the world at least a little bit better for those that will come after us.
This book is a lot of short essays that share my doubts. That echo my anxiety. Lots of engaging and thoughtful texts about parenting in the modern world and navigating politics, racism, the environmental collapse, feminism, poverty and the class struggles.
It isn't full of answers, but it has stories of people in similar situations. And it is hopeful and authentic.
I loved it. I will return to it and learn as much as I can.
Because I need to pass on this knowledge to the little one that is on its way here.

[Joe · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 Stars (with scattered 4 star moments)

I love the subject matter this book tries to confront. As my wife and I are beginning to think about starting a family, I want to hear from like-minded souls who have been through this experience. However, I'd much rather read a more in-depth, fully-formed book -- rather than this collection of blog entries.

There's a fair amount of "I was an established radical queer tranny vegan anarchist commie before I ever started to have kids..." -- which can be a bit much at times. But, generally, I really appreciated each individual sharing their perspective/story/idea/thought.

[Greg Wright · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good here but disappointing overall. The two editors mostly regale us with tales and derived morals of their own journeys, waving their politics and regionalism at us occasionally to remind us the Rad of Rad Dad. Maybe a decade ago I would have found this book more uplifting, but a lot of the discussions of male feminism and LGBTQ issues seem dated, and more applicable to Gen X parenting than Millennial. Ultimately as a leftist I didn't learn a lot, and as a dad I was given occasional reassurance.

[Neilina Corbeau · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the best book on parenting that I've yet to read. It was in no way a "how to" guide. It was a sharing of stories. Stories that I can more closely relate to than those commonly found in the bulk of parenting literature out there. Radical perspectives, often overlapping with my own. It pulled at my heartstrings.

[Rus Funk · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really dissappointed. While there were some moments in this books that were fabuous, overall it was weak and shallow. Not much of any analysis going on here. Although it had real potential, and many of the short pieces could have easily been developed into something really meaningful.

[T.R. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished this a few month's back but I do remember clearly that Tomas' articles are the freshest of this collection. His honest struggles and humor offer some clear wisdom is trying to raise children against the grain.

[X · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rad Dad (2011) is an important anthology made up of "the best" contributions from the two editors' projects, Tomas Moniz's Rad Dad Zine and Jeremy Smith's Daddy Dialectic blog. I mostly liked the contributions, although there were still some issues with sexism and patriarchy in some of the pieces, even though the writers attempted to consciously challenge these same issues. In other words, some of the pieces seemed overtly self-righteous, especially because they did not engage with issues like class, gender, etc and how that impacts parenting and fathering choices, or more likely, how it *restricts* these choices. Yet, I learned a lot, especially from the pieces written by a sperm donor, a transgender father, queer/gay fathers, and Black fathers, and others, and especially the essay in which a father (who is a cishet man married to a cishet woman) acknowledged that having a child meant that his wife has less power and his struggle with dismantling that power dynamic--everything from an uneven division of household labor to her career that was negatively affected. There is such a lack of resources for radical fathering that I would still recommend this anthology to others, but I do see it as a beginning, and that fathers can and should do better, both through their writing like this AND taking direct political action in their communities and on the streets and beyond.

[Dree Elle · Rating 4 out of 5]

It has sort of a Chicken Soup vibe, but with actually good short stories of men trying to consciously build families. It was a refreshing and hopeful read in a times like these. I am a nursing student aspiring to be a midwife and these stories motivates me to inform families and remind them that they can do it against all the odds.

I’m so glad I bought this book from Tomas in Oakland a few years ago at a book festival. I will definitely be passing this book along to the families I know.

[Yana Hasson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this compilation of 'progressive parenting from father's perspectives'.
The consecutive blogpost format made it easy to digest, and having several insights centering on the same father-child relationships gave some continuity.

Reminder that progressive parents with progressive parenting styles can still rear less progressive children & that emotions in this configuration can be strong !

[Kevin Burns · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great collection of essays and interviews on fatherhood from punk and punk adjacent folks. Some wonderful and emotional writing as people process and struggle with what it means to parent, especially in ways that will be true to their own radical values. Not an instruction manual or how to guide, this is a book to let you know that you are not alone.

[Andy Mesecher · Rating 5 out of 5]

A collection of short essays from fathers who once fought against "the man" while dealing with a juxtaposition of raising their children. Included in fatherly discussions are a few famous musicians, former skater, punks, hxc kids, and political activists. While I don't think everything written should be taken at face value, I really enjoyed the various perspectives!

[Bryanheidel heidel · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were some moments that I was able to relate to, and that I thought were contemplative reflections on parenthood, but most of the essays just didn't vibe with my point of view on parenting. Not saying they were off base, just didn't resonate with me.

[Cooper Quintin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love it! Fantastic essays on being a dad who is anti-mysoginist and anti-capitalist.

[Tyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant collection of short essays and interviews about fatherhood.

[aj · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great stuff!

[Christopher John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very much a mixed bag. The best essays are toward the end. There are some great interviews as well. It's a worthwhile read but not something I'd call essential.

[Toby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Engaging anthology of essays and interviews about muddling through fatherhood while trying practice the politics of building a better world.

[Marc Lucke · Rating 3 out of 5]

I welcome any attempt to discuss fatherhood in the context of politically-engaged, progressive, activist households. The men who contributed to this book run the gamut in their activism and they have all tried, to one degree or another, to incorporate their politics into their parenting. They have also struggled with the demands that parenthood places upon their time and the extent to which being responsible for another life affects not only one's ability to be politically engaged and active, but also one's perspective on events, issues and actions.

I think this is a useful book and should sit on the shelf of anyone who struggles to parent politically. That said...

That said, this book is ultimately -- as others have said in their reviews -- a collection of blog posts, so many of the pieces feel shallow and seem to end just as (or before) they get to the good stuff. Almost every contribution skirts serious analysis and theoretical engagement in favour of anecdotal "gee this is a weird experience" musings. This might be a good thing, as the target audience for this book doesn't have a lot of time on their hands anyway.

More seriously, there is a definite bias towards a particular kind of experience of fatherhood present in this book: we're given the stories of white, heterosexual, young, abled men with bucketloads of unexamined privilege. This gets bloody tiresome after a while and undermines the book's usefulness considerably. There are a few authors who buck this trend but on the whole it remains a maintains a cloistered, insular, self-congratulatory tone.

On the whole, I'm glad it's out there and I'd recommend it to anyone with an interest in progressive/radical parenting and slightly different ways of being a dad. Just don't get your hopes too high.

[Max · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, but was somewhat frustrated throughout. Recently becoming a father myself and having always wanted to be, I was interested to read other people's account of fatherhood and learn from others experiences. Some of the notions in the book I found difficult to grasp as I live in New Zealand which seems to have a very different culture to America. I could not associate with the level of racism that some people felt subjected to and therefore found it difficult to connect with the stories of ethnic identity as in some stories. I thought (maybe naively) that this pushing of ethnic identity at every level (especially not purchasing white dolls for your child) enforces social segregation and thus seems to be building more barriers rather than breaking them down.

What I find contradictory throughout is how many of the stories relate to a parents fear of the manipulation of their child by market forces and advertising. Yet the parents own hardline approach to solve this issue is to control just what their child has and what they can be interested in. Surely this is just mimicking the the very attitudes of society which they themselves are repulsed and angered by and that they wish their child not to be influenced by.
Surely a more reasonable approach is to show your child everything and let them pick what they wish, give them the warning of certain avenues, and let them make their own decisions, mistakes and successes. If you are an anarchist, who fights for what you believe is right, and you believe that this fighting spirit is a part of who you are and is in your blood then it will be in theirs too. And if you keep giving your child rules, it will be you that they fight against, not the oppressive world of vociferous consumerism.

An eye opening, yet frustrating read.

[10thumbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd been reading Jeremy's Daddy Dialectic blog for a while (we'd become friends while doing student organizing together in the 1990s and he was a mentor of mine.) But I only started reading Rad Dad 5 days after my son was born. I'll be interested to read through it again in a year or two, because I had a hard time getting through some of the early chapters --- probably a mix of my lack of dad experience and (what read like) an overabundance writers trying too much to prove they're a different kind of dad (instead of stuff that I'd come to really enjoy on Daddy Dialectic: dads trying to make sense of what they were experiencing... putting it into a larger context).

But the second half of the book is fantastic. Again, maybe this is just that I have 6 months of experience to go "oh yeah... someone else flips their shit too when their baby won't stop crying". I especially loved the final few interviews where the dads talked with Tomas and Jeremy about trying to continue a collective rather than individual struggle for a better world -- something that already feels a little harder. But most of the dads here would maintain they're not perfect; they're figuring it out and their stories serve as great little primers for this new chapter in my life.

[Steev Hise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book, if you're in the situation to benefit from it, that is, if you're a father who is looking for inspiration and ways to raise kids and be a husband and father according to feminist, anti-patriarchal, anti-establishment values. Not all of the pieces in this anthology are that useful. Some are rather banal pep-talks. But some are highly moving and wise statements that reach to the core of what's wrong with our culture and offer alternatives. Hardly any of the pieces are highly good writing; most are simply competent journalism/opinion pieces and don't qualify as any kind of Harper's-level essaying. But this is made up for by the personal nature of the pieces, and, for me, the way in which many of the questions and issues are exactly what I'm looking to explore as I embark on the long journey of fatherhood. I think several of my friends who've already been on this path for years might get considerably less out of this book; also, the rest of my friends who don't have kids and don't plan to won't get much of anything of it. But if you're somewhere in the middle, this book will be good for you too.

[Benjamin Fasching-Gray · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm going to steer away from books that grew out of blogs for a while. I'd prefer a longer, more developed argument to a string of brief musings.
I also feel that the book didn't get into the real shit at all. It mostly deals with parenting toddlers and doesn't deal at all with trying to be anti-authoritarian while being the authority that your children need. Dealing with the meat grinder from 'the Wall' that is public school is also totally absent. Trying to be active in a movement while working and still have enough time for your kids was completely not here, because all the authors are either stay at home dads who have taken vows of poverty or else they work for NGOs or whatever or they are superstars like Cory Doctorow (probably the least interesting writing in here) or Jeff Chang or Raj Patel.
Still, there was plenty in here to think about.

[Spicy T AKA Mr. Tea · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting anthology of writing regarding dads, radical politics, and children. There were definitely stronger pieces in this--one that was quite moving to me was "A Day at the Park." Others stuck out but many didn't. I wasn't as moved or inspired as I thought I would be. Still, very interesting perspectives for a multitude of different kinds of dads practicing rad politics and child rearing. And that was totally awesome.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great as always to read Burke Stansbury writing about Lucas and parenting. Also great to read an anthology about parenting that was both politically engaged and from a different perspective - rather than grappling with all the freighted expectations, the editors are trying to carve out a visible space for fatherhood, and to figure out how to be the best fathers they can.

[tamarack · Rating 4 out of 5]

didn't read the entire book, just a few of the essays. really liked what i did read, and the rad dad i gave it to gives the thumbs up.