Judgment Day: My Years with Ayn Rand

by Nathaniel Branden

The author details his relationship with Ayn Rand, illuminating the tremendous influence of Objectivism on his life and work and the twenty-five year intimate relationship they shared

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Memoir

436 pages, Hardcover

Published January 1, 1989

About the author

Nathaniel Branden was a Canadian–American psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem. A former associate and romantic partner of Ayn Rand, Branden also played a prominent role in the 1960s in promoting Rand's philosophy, Objectivism. Rand and Branden split acrimoniously in 1968, after which Branden focused on developing his own psychological theories and modes of therapy.

Reviews

[Lisa (Harmonybites) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just when I had discovered Ayn Rand and she had created a revolution in my thinking, Barbara Branden's biography, The Passion of Ayn Rand came out. I think if there had been any danger I'd become a "Randroid" as I've heard some describe it, this book did put paid to that, because goodness the book did do a good job of idol smashing--and I think that's healthy actually if we're going to judge Rand by her ideas--and not worship her (or condemn her) unthinkingly.

Mind you, Barbara Branden did have good reason to be bitter towards Ayn Rand. She was Nathaniel Branden's wife. Rand informed both her own husband and Barbara she was going to pursue an affair with Nathaniel. And when Nathaniel fell for yet another women and decided to break things off, Barbara supported him and both were relegated to the outer darkness by Ayn. Judgment Day, published after The Passion of Ayn Rand, told the story from Nathaniel's perspective--although like The Passion of Ayn Rand it's about more than that. It gives us his observations of Ayn Rand and her circle over the decades of their association. And the observations of a trained psychologist and psychotherapist. It should be noted that some time after this book's release, Leonard Peikoff, Rand's designated "intellectual heir" admitted that having gone through Rand's papers, the affair did happen much in the way the Brandens described. This book is readable and gives a fascinating perspective on Ayn Rand--at least if your neither a doctrinaire devotee outraged by a critical perspective nor someone who can't repeat Ayn Rand's name without a sneer and a jibe. That's why I'm giving it five stars as amazing, despite that it is true--Nathaniel Branden did have a vested interest in making Ayn Rand look bad and defending his own actions--and at times it shows, so this should be taken with many a grain of salt.

What I thought was remarkable about Barbara Branden biography was that despite having reason to be bitter towards Rand she displayed both empathy and admiration for her subject. I think the tone in Nathaniel's memoir is much more bitter and self-serving. And certainly if you find Ayn Rand's ideas and life of interest, there are two recent books from outside, I dare say more "objective," perspectives that are well thought of and from what I've read not hatchet jobs-- Anne C. Heller's Ayn Rand and the World She Made and Jennifer Burns Goddess of the Market. I haven't read either yet, but I already picked up Heller's as an ebook.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

A mostly autobiographical recitation by a central player in the 20th century philosophical movement "Objectivism", which was quite popular when I was growing up, and which I was aware of, but never got enthusiastic about. Reading this book reinforces my earlier skepticism about the movement.
The author read Ayn Rand's book "Fountainhead" at the age of 14, and being an intellectual, alienated young Canadian, found it to be an intellectual home for his young hopes & dreams. He wrote to the author and got no reply initially, wrote to her a few years later from Los Angeles where he was then going to University, she responded, inviting him to her home in the area. He was awe struck, and very much fell under her spell. And he became the beginning of, essentially a cult.
So he spends 18 years under her sway, as pretty much the admin head & mouthpiece of the Objectivism movement. Thousands of members & hangers on, he ran training sessions, printed the newsletters, ect, etc. Leading kind of a dream life in NYC, wealth & power, the whole works.
Eventually, he becomes disenchanted, rebels, breaks away from the movement, and the movement kind of collapses.
What he says about Objectivism was interesting, and I can wholly understand the attraction of it for alienated young intellectuals, as far as attractive philosophes go, but his own personal journey wasn't very interesting. He was kind of a fixated fanatic type, very single minded, self righteous, so judgemental, hence the title of this book is so VERY appropiate. His journey, while awe struck by Ayn Rand, was pretty much a rationalization of why he was such a nasty cult leader. A biography of a successful insurance salesman would have been both more humane and interesting. He finally escaped and had a happy ever after ending.
What he said about Objectivism caught my attention. His critique of it was thorough, clear, and fecund. He is clearly a smart guy, and a very good writer. I had read a chunk of "The Fountainhead" when I was in High School, but put it down as too long, and got distracted by more immediate interests, so I never finished it. I still have it, so I'll find it again, and take another crack at it. This time I'll focus on finishing it. If I can read all the way through Nathanial Branden's biography, Ayn Rand's novel should be downright enjoyable.

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's odd how people assume you are a Rand fan when you read her work and other books about her. Rand was guilty of this herself. I find her and Objectivism interesting but flawed, in its one dimensional and limiting emphasis on individualism and selfishness. Reading her work brings your values into focus.

I've heard various politicians, pundits and educators employ Objectivist principles to justify their positions, without acknowledging the source. Some, like the writers for the TV show, "Mad Men"and politician Paul Ryan have admitted Objectivism, Rand and Branden are their inspiration. I'm not certain, though, to what extent Rand and Branden are still the primary source, or whether it makes any difference, but, to our detriment, the beliefs of Objectivism still influence business practices and the Republican party in particular.

[TuxedoSammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

There was an anxiety within me for well over a hundred pages, because I didn't know how this book would unfold or if Nathaniel would come to understand reality, emotions, and psychology as they truly are, and if he'd reject the fantasies of a manipulative woman with undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Seeing Ayn Rand--from the throne in which she sat, perfectly chiseled in marble and draped in chiton and jewels--behind the longing 19-year-old eyes of a desperate, excellence-hungry Nathan Blumenthal was intriguing. Winding the path of Nathan's psychology discoveries, and the liberation from his groomer, was vindication. The tragedy of loss that ensued compelled me, and I sobbed.

I savored every page, and I relished psychoanalyzing all of them: a mindfuck fiction can only dream of touching.

I believe every word written. There could be some misrememberings or omitted information, but because of accidental human error, or because it was unnecessary info, or insulting, and not to paint a biased picture--but a meticulous, accurate one.

For example, it's safe to assume part of the reason Nathan started to lose attraction to Ayn from the pedestal he placed her on, was because, without it, her unappealing appearance and postmenopausal atrophic vaginal walls weren't enough without the fantasy of her idealized greatness. If you are neither physically nor mentally attracted to the object of your affection, sex is not desirable. At least one must exist to enjoy the fruit. Nathan would never write about that, but I could infer it when he claimed her age was a deterrent to his attraction after conquering his idol sexually at 49.

Nathan is extremely forthcoming, he knew what he was doing--embellishing the juiciest parts to entrance readers. I didn't need or want all the Ayn Rand sex detail, though. Her eerie mug is already off-putting.

Nathaniel Branden is far more interesting than Ayn Rand, and smarter, more exploratory, and truth-seeking. He made real breakthrough discoveries. While Ayn was repetitive, and made rigid, unrealistic, unattainable fantastical stories that produced negative consequences that persist in the political system even now. She brainwashed the lower classes to accept their oppression with the delusions they could be rich and powerful as long as they were stoic, but it's not that simple. Success comes with a lot of luck and a lot of help, and Ayn had extreme amounts of both. She enabled the heartless to exploit the lower classes, and designed a vernacular to word-salad the pitchforks in the other direction.

Nathan is not without his own flaws.

As most neglected children who search--not just for purpose and meaning, but a purpose and meaning of grandeur--so did he. When you are love, acceptance, and meaning-deficient, there is no understanding of balance or stability. There is only an extreme desire for the strongest, most potent drug to desperately fill the void. These children develop a craving for adulation and to be seen as special in the most novel and unique ways that feel superior and above others, unbeknownst to them. Everyone wants to feel special, but not everyone wants to feel special to a radical degree.

Ayn created such an attractant in her philosophy: the belief of an attainable specialdom that surpassed all others. Thus an influx of people who didn't know how to find a healthy version of their alignment. Children's minds are delicate.

Enter Nathan's idealization: of a flawed woman who knew how to tailor a sentence in her favor during an age where mainstream information was school curriculum, news stations, and hearsay. Obtaining nuanced information meant reading countless, thick books or directly living in an experience. When the majority of people don't have the time or have access to information that can oppose Ayn, it means Ayn wins by default. Had there been social media and computers to search evidence of foreign lifestyles, anecdotes, and specific questions with specific answers back then, it's possible Ayn's legacy wouldn't have been much more than a Candace Owens or a Steven Crowder. Ayn had a lot of logistical advantages for her philosophy to thrive, because of the time period. She wouldn't have gotten away with her rhetoric as easily today. Luck. But Nathan didn't know that. No one did.

Ayn's books and her philosophies taught people to suppress their emotions, that it's okay to suppress emotions, and to essentially selfishly live within illusions. There is some validity in her philosophy, but I'll save that for another review.

Ayn had a monopoly on knowledge that wasn't easy to obtain or refute. Thus a control of minds who worshipped her. Thus an obedient cult and a molded hero.

Nathan understood how age-gaps psychologically affect people, but they suddenly didn't matter to him so much when he met a beautiful woman ten years younger. The psychology differences still applied, but like Ayn's entire personality and philosophy: you can justify anything abhorrent and morally questionable with the right mental gymnastics.

Aside from Nathan's idol-worship, age-gap double-standard hypocrisy, and suppression of emotions, which attributed to him disrespecting and hurting people, he also heavily relied on the use of women to feel better. It wasn't even a year before he was remarried after his second wife tragically died. He's a great example how men remarry quickly after divorce or death. Men cannot be alone with themselves. They need a mommy, maid, and counselor they can have sex with. There is never the "one" to a man. There's only the "one right now." He could not respect his dead wife for even a year.

What really peeved me most of all, however, is that well after Nathan's brain was fully developed, well after he was aware he was no longer interested in Ayn, and well after he knew what he was doing was wrong and that he needed to stop, he still persisted in lying, deceiving, and gaslighting Ayn for years, and placed his burden of deceit onto Barbara. Then he proceeded to imply that Ayn's meds were the cause of her paranoia because it's a potential symptom. She was taking those meds for 30+ years. She became paranoid after Nathaniel gave her something to be paranoid about. Women can sense when men are not providing transparency. Their words do not match their actions. Our natural instinct, to protect ourselves, is to ruminate until one of us, us or them, gives us clarity.

There is no one who will ever remain sane and emotionally composed while being emotionally abused and deceived. It cannot happen. Not unless the victim is born without the ability to feel or completely emotionally detaches. When a woman is "crazy," that's incognito for "a man drove this woman to insanity with his psychological abuse."

Nathaniel Branden was a coward who used women so he didn't have to repair his own deficiencies directly.

However, Ayn received the exact product she groomed. Her shamings, her scrutiny, her anger, her meticulously-crafted insults, deflections, misdirections, and arguments to achieve obedience she awarded with praise--like training a puppy--created a fearful little boy. Nathan's options were: 1. Obey Ayn Rand. 2. Face the wrath of Ayn Rand and Excommunication. He essentially was choosing between his life as he knew it, and all the comfort and hard work he put into it, or lose it all.

I can understand why he couldn't be honest, but the woman in me still feels a sympathy for Ayn. I feel a sympathy for both of them. They were kids of their environment who became abusive adults. But childhood deficiency is only a reason to explain behavior, it's not an excuse.

These personality traits and actions made me lose some respect for Nathan, and I ponder his credibility as a person applied to his psychologist profession, but I'm still very interested in reading his other books. His writing and thought patterns have impressed me.

I really came to adore every minute mention of Frank. I was once told he was a himbo; Frank was not a himbo.

My favorite quote, which I cannot seem to find, is when Nathan made a revelation about his observation of people and Frank corrected him that everyone is more than they appear. BRAVO.

I wish there was more about his musings, but I understand he was mute because Ayn conditioned his obedience and silence. Of the few things he said and did, it was clear he was brilliant, and truly cared to nurture people and animals. He's the real rare gem. He had a natural talent for art, thrived in nature, and I feel incredibly sad that he felt he wasn't sufficient enough to sever himself from Ayn's hip. I get emotional thinking about it, but Frank was a grown man who still had responsibility for his own actions. He chose to be unhappy. He chose not to live in his alignment, as did Ayn. She did not choose to learn from her past mistakes and live in her fullest alignment. She scapegoated her wrongdoings onto everyone else--never deeply, inwardly reflecting--as she did her entire life. Ayn advocated self-awareness and responsibility, but in practice, she did neither. She deflected and rationalized outwardly, allocating fault anywhere but herself. She never evolved, and so died bitter and without the meaningful connections that her soul yearned for.

You reap what you sow.

One experiment I'd like to conduct after I become a psychology researcher: determine how much damage Objectivism has caused people individually and collectively overall, how much Ayn's philosophies realistically helped, and how much people have manipulated and deceived themselves and others just to maintain a belief in something that induced temporary motivational dopamine.

[Steven H · Rating 5 out of 5]

BRANDEN TELLS HIS SIDE OF THE STORY OF RAND AND OBJECTIVISM

Nathaniel Branden (1930-2014) was a Canadian psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem. He was Rand's chief spokesman, until their break in 1968. He has written many other books (and he has re-done this 1989 book in 1999 as 'My Years with Ayn Rand,' and moderated his judgments on some people), such as 'The Psychology of Self-Esteem: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Understanding that Launched a New Era in Modern Psychology.'

He said in the "Author's Note," "Prior to our break, Ms. Rand said publicly and on more than one occasion that I knew her thoughts more profoundly and specifically than any other human being and that I was qualified to speak for her on virtually any aspect of her ideas or convictions. Only the internal logic of my narrative can assure the reader that I am reliable in reporting on the more intimate aspects of our story."

He suggests that "No one can understand the appeal of Ayn Rand to youth... who does not understand how profoundly she speaks... to the quest for individuation, autonomy, and self-actualization." (Pg. 28) He observes, "there was a good deal of the ascetic, or the absent-minded professor, about her... she never learned to drive an automobile..." and was dependent on her husband Frank for transportation (Pg. 65) He notes that Rand's attitude toward economist Ludwig von Mises was "puzzling," since she publicly praised him, yet made very negative marginal notes in his book Human Action: A Treatise on Economics, and Branden comments, "It was not her disagreement that disturbed me but the savagery of her attacks." (Pg. 136)

He also notes that "Ayn read very little, which astonished me... she occasionally read mysteries or thrillers, but very little else, except The New York Times." (Pg. 175) Later, he adds, "in the eighteen years of our relationship I cannot recall a single book on philosophy that she read from cover to cover." (Pg. 282) He also comments on her "regarding her personal likes and dislikes in art, literature, and music as being very close to laws of nature." (Pg. 348) He states, "One issue with which Ayn and I had been grappling for some time was what name to give to our philosophy. Finally Ayn proposed 'Objectivism.'... To me, Ayn's analysis of this resurgence of irrationalism... constituted one of the most brilliant, challenging, and illuminating aspects of Galt's speech." (Pg. 224)

He details the decline of his relationship with his first wife, Barbara (author of The Passion of Ayn Rand), and the beginning of his affair with Rand: "My affair with Ayn notwithstanding, I regarded myself as a man committed to sexual exclusivity and to monogamy..." (Pg. 248-249) Chapter eight gives all the intimate details of his physical relationship with Rand, including their confrontation with Barbara and Frank, where they asked for their "consent" to the affair: "I had lost all sense of restraints or barriers: there was only what I wanted. I did not think of how either Ayn's marriage or mine would be affected." (Pg. 158) Branden mentions Frank's descent into alcoholism, and how after his death his studio was discovered to be filled with empty liquor bottles (pg. 373). The ultimate break and denouncement from Rand is described in excruciating detail in chapter 16; and he also mentions his rather cold relationship with Barbara, after their divorce (Pg. 416). (He also divorced his third wife, to whom he dedicated this book.)

Far from being an "objective" account, this book (and/or its 1999 updating) is nevertheless essential reading for anyone wanting to know more about Ayn Rand as a person.

[Chemteacher · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a fascinating account of the disturbing life of Ayn Rand, by her equally disturbed protégé and much younger married lover, Nathaniel Braden. The copy I have is the original account, I believe, which was redacted rather quickly to become "My Years with Ayn Rand," and sold under the later title after that. I don't personally know what the differences between the two editions are and I'm probably not ever going to find out because I don't want to wade through it all again. But that's okay with me. ;)

Although I'm not sure I believe everything the author says in precisely the way he recounts it, as he seems approximately as likely to fantasize as his subject, this book did give me an idea what the two of them must really have been like, and therefore what the movement they founded, libertarianism, is like.

It was a pot-boiler - fun to read and strange to contemplate. I already surmised that I wasn't much of a libertarian and now I know I'm not.

BTW, this author has refashioned himself as a specialist in the field of "self-esteem" which I find simultaneously terrifying and hilarious after reading this book.

[Marco den Ouden · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great biography detailing his years as Ayn Rand's protege and lover.