I think the author isn’t getting anywhere near as much credit as he deserves.
The premise is funny, original, and horrifying all at once. I have never seen anything like this done before or since, and it serves as the perfect vehicle for Platt to show us just what kind of animals human beings truly are.
1. CATHY
The novel opens with Vincent driving full speed on an English country road, nervously looking in the rearview mirror. In the distance behind him, a yellow cloud of gas is slowly spreading across the horizon.
Vincent worked at a top secret government chemical weapons lab, where things have gone terribly wrong. A lethal weaponized gas has escaped and is about to cover southern England in its entirety. Vincent is rushing towards London in a last ditch effort to rescue his wife and two kids before the gas hits.
Along the way, Vincent picks up a hitchhiker, Cathy. She’s young, pretty, sexy, innocent, and wholesome. She is also horny as hell, and keeps rubbing up against Vincent as he drives. In spite of the birth control pills Vincent keeps munching on (which counteract the effects of the gas, somewhat), he can’t control himself and he and Cathy have sex repeatedly.
In spite of Cathy being a completely willing sex partner, Vincent feels the need to hurt and humiliate her in a pretty disgusting way.
2. THE TOWN
They then arrive at a town and we begin to gradually see the effects of the gas. People are masturbating on park benches, here and there you see couples having sex in the street and so on. Vincent knocks on the door of the local policeman, who gets turned on by his dog, and begins to masturbate himself while masturbating the dog. He then calls Vincent a pervert for watching him do it, and beats him up, leaving him unconscious on the front lawn.
3. THE PRIEST
The following morning Vincent wakes up and and comes across the townspeople engaging in an orgy in the middle of the road. Vincent and Cathy carjack a horrified, elderly priest and drive over the crowd to escape them. The priest is not quite as affected by the Gas yet, as he is in his mid-60s. Cathy’s ties up and sexually assaults the horrified old man, who keeps crying and praying, and begging her to stop… then babbles about seeing God as he climaxes.
4. THE AIRPORT
Vincent decides to try to get to the airport to hijack a small plane. Apparently he was in the military or something and has a pilot’s license. He reasons that the presence of a priest with them will help them get past security.
Vincent and his ragtag crew manage to fight their way through the crowd, hijack a small airplane and take off towards London (or away from London, to where his wife is… I lose track).
5. ON THE PLANE
On the plane Vincent sets a course for home. He’s pretty rough with Cathy, who keeps trying to have sex with him while he pilots the plane. She tries to take over the controls and Vincent violently shoves her towards the back… Where she immediately proceeds to fuck the priest once again.
After putting the plane on track on automatic pilot, Vincent goes towards the back and tries to put on parachutes on Vincent and Cathy, but the priest simply will not stop fucking. Vincent is so annoyed he grabs a grease gun, shoves it up the priest’s ass and pumps him full of grease. Then, tossing the grease gun aside, Vincent grabs the priest and attempts to “bugger him to death”.
He then tosses the two off the air plane and jumps after them. The trio parachute gently down to the quiet London suburb and walk towards Vincent’s home.
6. FAMILY REUNION
Vincent is finally reunited with his wife Judith and his two kids, Annette (13) and Malcolm (14). Judith is initially skeptical of Cathy and the priest, but is happy to see Vincent home again. Judith has packed the station wagon with supplies as well as some syringes with doses of male and female hormones to counteract (a little) the effects of the gas. Thus prepared, the group sets off, heading north, towards safety.
Cathy’s brother Edmond is a science student in Cambridge, which happens to be along the way, so that will be their first destination.
7. THE NUNS
Our heroes then come across a 13-year-old boy known for being a reclusive science-fiction town. The boy is taking a dump on the side of the road, wiping his ass with his comic book collection, then eating his own feces. Our heroes, then reach a convent where the nurses have gone wild. They are out on the street in front of the convent participating in a very rigid and ritualized orgy, involving their gardener, a priest, and about 50 nuns. The family drives on.
8. BARRICADE
On the way out of town, the gang come across a barricade the police have set up. Although initially somewhat rational, the cops turn out to be sex crazed psychopaths and Vincent has to crash the car through the barricade, injuring, or maybe killing a couple of cops in the process.
9. EDMOND
The family reaches Cambridge. Cathy’s brother Edmond is renting a room in the home of a middle aged lady called Mrs. Dunnell. She is unmarried and lives alone with her poodle and Edmond. Edmond is a rather aloof and unpleasant science student. After a bit of awkward chitchat over tea and biscuits (where Mrs. Dunnell reveals the Gas has turned her into a bit of a sex starved weirdo), Edmond takes Cathy upstairs to “show her his room”. A few minutes later, the screams begin.
Vincent runs upstairs and kicks down the door to discover Edmond has Cathy tied up to some mechanical contraption. He is using the controllers on the device to move Cathy around while he sexually assaults her. Mrs. Dunnell is horrified and calls her a “hussy”, accusing her of seducing poor Edmond. Vincent releases Cathy, who runs outside and drives off with the family station wagon and all their supplies.
10. THE BIG BANG!
The family then sits in Mrs. Dunnell’s living room, contemplating their next move. The priest hangs out nearby, having a snack, while Edmond and his landlady discuss the strange events they’ve been witnessing around Cambridge. As you might imagine, the scene gradually turns into an orgy, with Vincent, his wife, his children, the priest, Edmund and his landlady all taking turns going at each other.
Mrs. Dunnell is as relentlessly annoying as she is boring. She keeps trying to monopolize Edmund’s sexual attention. Edumund does just about every disgusting thing you can possibly imagine to this woman. He gets her to commit gruesome acts of bestiality with her poodle and her pet bird (the latter suffocates inside one of Mrs. Dunnell’s orifices), he defecates on her, then… well you get the idea. By the time he’s done, she’s completely covered in vomit, urine, feces, and just about every other bodily fluid you can imagine. The entire time she is resisting, only to give in passionately, then resisting again, then giving in again. Then, finally, he decides to give her “the big bang” he has been promising her for days. She’s excited, she’s begging for it (clearly she has no idea what’s coming). Edmond then goes to his room and comes back with a pipe bomb, which he shoves inside Mrs. Dunnell’s rectum, blowing her to pieces.
Everyone is shocked, but not shocked enough to stop the incestuous orgy.
Then Edmond, in a scene that could’ve been lifted right out of the Benny Hill show, grabs Judith, hops on his bicycle, and rides off towards the University.
11. CAMBRIDGE
Horrified, Vincent, Annette, and Malcolm watch Edmund ride off into Cambridge with Judith thrown over his shoulder. Their station wagon is gone, and the mad priest has locked himself in the house with the blown up remains of Mrs. Dunnell (except for one leg, which the poodle has run off with).
Vincent sets off towards the campus with his kids in tow. Almost immediately they come across a playground, where a bunch of half naked children are running around like feral creatures doing all kinds of things to each other. Annette and Malcolm ask their dad if they can go play.
“Of course!“ he replies, “I think I’ll join you.“
But the moment he steps into the playground, the playground kids attack Vincent and toss him over the side. No grownups allowed. The kids leave Vincent unconscious by the river.
12. THE ROWING TEAM
Vincent wakes up to the sound of a rowing team training on the river. When he looks up he sees the Cambridge rowing team on their long canoe (or whatever they called those boats). Half the team is bent over, with their butts in the air, the other half is busy sodomizing their teammates. The coxswain shouts commands at them through a megaphone (the coxswain is a double amputee, and is missing both his legs). One! Two! One! Two!
Vincent calls them over and asks if they have seen the science student who kidnapped his wife. The team of athletic rowers agree to help Vincent get his wife back, so long as they can get a piece of the action. The coxswain, of course, is totally not on board with the idea and yells at them that they need to keep training. So they just take all the rows and kick the boat down the river, leaving the poor legless guy stranded as he floats downstream.
13. THE SCIENCE STUDENTS
Rather than indulging in sexual depravity and debauchery like everybody else has been doing, the science nerds are conducting grotesque and violent science experiments on the bodies of captured women. The women are shaken to death in convoluted machines, cut into pieces, have their skin ripped off, limbs amputated, and on and on. All the while the science students take notes and make calculations.
Vincent and his new friends make their way through the gruesome torture carnival, slapping science students around, looking for Judith. When they finally make it to the psychology department, the door is rigged. Vincent and the rowing team are knocked out by sleeping gas.
14. PSYCH WARD
When Vincent wakes up, he is in a strange white room. The door opens, and Judith comes in. I forget exactly what happens next, somehow she ends up laughing at him. She ridicules and belittles him or something like that. In any event, he ends up beating her to death, and all the while she continues laughing at him. He keeps assaulting the corpse until he turns her into hamburger.
Then, bizarrely, Mrs. Dunnell appears, alive as ever. The two start having sex, then, for whatever reason (I forget the details), he ends up stabbing her to death, chopping her into pieces, then chopping the pieces into little pieces. This is when he realizes that none of this could be really happening, somehow he must be hallucinating the entire thing. So if he turns the knife on himself. The moment the knife goes less than half an inch into his chest, he wakes up.
It turns out that Edmond had been conducting psych experiments on him. The women Vincent had killed were not who they had appeared to be. Vincent was simply the victim of drug induced post hypnotic hallucinations.
Edmond allows Vincent to be reunited with Judith, who is completely unharmed. Apparently, Edmond’s only interest in her was that her physique displayed the perfect proportions for the average British woman or something. Having already gathered all the data he needed, Edmond lets Vincent and Judith go… but only after allowing the rowing team to have their way with Vincent’s wife. Judith appears to have enjoyed the experience immensely.
15. CHURCH OF THE PSYCHO GIRLS
As luck would have it, Edmond had also recovered the family station wagon with all the supplies. Apparently Cathy had abandoned it. Judith and Vincent pick up the kids at the playground and head for the station wagon. All is right with the world.
Unfortunately for Vincent, he lingers around the playground a little bit too long while his family heads for the car. Out of nowhere, Cathy and another demented girl leap out of the bushes and grab Vincent. They drag him kicking and screaming to a nearby church, were 1000 deranged and screeching teenage girls are having an insane and violent ritual to the sound of blasting rock music.
The pile of mangled male corpses at the foot of the altar reveals that the girls have been kidnapping and torturing men to death all afternoon. Cathy is thrilled to have gotten her hands on Vincent, finally. She means to make his death slow and painful. Just as she is about to carve him up like a Christmas turkey with a long, curved sword, the priest bursts through the church doors. He denounces the girls, telling them they are all the victims of demonic possession. He grabs hold of the heavy, 6 foot tall crucifix and brings it crashing down on Cathy’s skull, pounding it to mush.
The girls all go wild and attack the priest and in the chaos Vincent grabs one of the bell tower ropes, swings across the room and out the window, where Judith and the kids are waiting in the car. The girls come crawling out the windows of the church by the hundreds like something out of a zombie movie, and, for some unexplained reason, the entire church comes crashing down.
16. CONCLUSION
In the next chapter, we find the family driving north on the Scottish countryside. Vincent and Judith are delighted to discover the effects of the gas finally wearing off. It’s been a rough couple of days, Vincent is still covered in dried blood from head to toe. The family pulls over to the side of the road to take a rest. Vincent claims in the back seat with Annabel, while Malcolm goes in the front with his mom. The parents instantly begin having sex with their children.
Vincent is relieved when he realizes the gas has had no long-term permanent effects after all.
The end.
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REVIEW
All of this vomit, shit, piss, sex, blood and violence is pretty overwhelming, and it tends to obscure the actual story going on beneath the surface. What this monstrosity of a novel is, very clearly, is a late 1960s, counterculture protest novel. A decade earlier a similar countercultural movement inspired William Burrough’s Naked Lunch. Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes, Logan‘s Run all came out of this counterculture as well.
There’s a theme running through all of these novels and movies. Many young people who grew up being told that their society was the pinnacle of culture, morality, and civilization, and yet they were witnessing with their own eyes the brutality, hypocrisy and violence these same societies were perpetrating.
CHARLES PLATT ON FREUD’S COUCH
Look at it this way, say we were the writer’s, psychoanalyst, and instead of a novel this was actually a dream the author had, and you were asked to help interpret it, how would we go about it?
The first thing I would say is that this guy has a hell of a lot of anger. The entire thing reads like a prolonged Primal Scream. At first impression you would think he hates absolutely everyone and everything, but when you take a closer look you notice different characters and institutions are treated very differently in this “dream”.
CATHY
The first character the narrator (pretty much a stand in for the author) comes across is Cathy. She is the young, pretty, sweet, and innocent “girl next door”. Right off the bat, the narrator starts abusing and degrading her, even before the aggression effects of the gas kick in… which means, to me, the author already had it in for this “archetype” from the beginning. What the hell does this poor girl do to deserve all this abuse? Nothing, as far as I can, tell, other than make herself a perpetual annoyance with her sexual advances. She is constantly throwing herself at the narrator, groping at him and making a nuisance of herself when he’s trying to drive or pilot the plane. She also seems incapable of rational thought. Occasionally Vincent tries to explain to her what’s going on, but she’s either not interested, or goes off in some wild, delusional tangent.
What’s interesting is that during the dream sequence, and in the final confrontation, she is no longer silly, she has a dangerous, psychopathic, all powerful force of destruction.
JUDITH
But not all women get the same treatment. Judith doesn’t get humiliated at all. Yeah, sure, she gets gangbanged by the rowing team, but overall they are presented as good blogs, and anyway, she seems to have thoroughly enjoyed it. More than that, after it’s all over, and she’s basking in the afterglow, she tells Vincent “you were wonderful!“ so in a way even getting gangbanged by eight buff dudes isn’t enough to tarnish her. After all, in her mind, she was only doing it with Vincent.
Whatever is going on here, it’s more complicated than straight up hatred of women. I mean, of course it’s misogynistic, but there’s also a classic “Madonna/whore“ dichotomy going on here. Cathy is degraded, humiliated, and eventually gets her head bashed in with a giant crucifix, but Judith gets treated with kids gloves. Seems to me the one institution in society that gets treated with reverence in the novel is the nuclear family.
MRS. DUNNELL
Poor Mrs. Dunnell is not so lucky. She is by far treat it worse than any other character. Even her corpse is not spared. In fact, even after she’s dead, Platt drags her back out of the grave so Vincent can tear her to pieces again.
So what exactly did Mrs. Dunnell do to deserve being treated this way? She is tedious, annoying and boring. When you think about it, she has all of the negative qualities Cathy displays, but without Cathy’s attractiveness and sexuality. Cathy’s advances are arousing and irresistible. Mrs. Dunnell’s are repulsive. Could it be that Mrs. Dunnell’s character is actually an older version of Cathy, after she has lost her youth, attractiveness and sexual allure?
All of this reminds me of Robert Crumb’s comics. In page after page Crumb’s neuroses, anxieties and insecurities towards women and sex come through with all the subtlety of a chainsaw.
THE PRIEST
Another character that comes in for a great deal of humiliating degradation is the priest. Interestingly, though, he has not presented as a hypocrite. Throughout the novel, he is struggling with his inherent animal passions. He is brokenhearted at his inability to control himself. In the orgy scene at Mrs. Dunnell house he is actually quite kind and gentle with Annette and Malcolm, teaching them what to do (OK fine, it’s the kind of thing that will get you targeted by the FBI and the team of To Catch a Predator, but still…).
THE LAST CHAPTER
I notice a pattern that keeps getting played out throughout the novel. On the one hand, you have rationality and authority, trying to impose themselves (the church, the police, Cambridge, the rowing team, coaxman, the science department.) On the other, we have relentless animal, passions of lust and violence.
By the end of the novel, Vincent and his family no longer have access to the hormone injection to try to suppress the effects of the gas. They are in Scotland, having a peaceful moment after their adventures… and of course, are engaging in incest and pedophilia. But this isn’t presented like the last scene in a horror movie, like what you would see at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Instead, it’s a sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek happy ending. Vincent and Judith have finally reconciled that painful tension between rationality and animal passions.
CONCLUSION
“The best lack all conviction, the worst are filled with passionate intensity.”
My 20 year old nephew is feeling overwhelmed and dismayed these days. He thinks absolutely everything going on in society is a sham and lie. His sentiments of anxiety and despair are reflected back at him in the lectures of Jordan Peterson, and he’s becoming angry and rebellious. One moment he’s praising Trump, the next he’s denouncing the genocides unleashed by the military industrial complex.
Seems to me that if my nephew were to write a novel, it would read a lot like the one Charles Platt wrote four decades ago. For that alone, The Gas deserves another look.