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The Mirror of Relationship: Love, Sex, and Chastity
This book features excerpts on the title's theme from Krishnamurti's talks and discussions held between 1933 and 1967. They have proven helpful in dialogues and for use in high school and college classrooms. There are talks on marriage, love, relationship, and sex. Krishnamurti states, "sex becomes an extraordinary, difficult, and complex problem so long as you do not understand the mind."
Krishnamurti asks the reader to investigate essential How can I live with another without conflict? Why are relationships difficult? What is awareness in relationship? Do I really know what love is? What does it mean to learn in a relationship? What is the role of thought and memory in relating to another?
"There is no escape from relationship. In that relationship, which is the mirror in which we can see ourselves, we can discover what we are, our reactions, our prejudices, our fears, depression, anxieties, loneliness, sorrow, pain, grief. We can also discover whether we love or there is no such thing as love. So, we will examine this question of relationship because that is the basis of love." -J. Krishnamurti Madras, India, 1982
"Why does the mind think about sex at all? Why? Why has it become a central issue in your life? Sex has become an extraordinary, difficult, and complex problem so long as you do not understand the mind, which thinks about the problem. The act itself can never be a problem but thought about the act creates the problem." -J. Krishnamurti, The First and Last Freedom
Krishnamurti asks the reader to investigate essential How can I live with another without conflict? Why are relationships difficult? What is awareness in relationship? Do I really know what love is? What does it mean to learn in a relationship? What is the role of thought and memory in relating to another?
"There is no escape from relationship. In that relationship, which is the mirror in which we can see ourselves, we can discover what we are, our reactions, our prejudices, our fears, depression, anxieties, loneliness, sorrow, pain, grief. We can also discover whether we love or there is no such thing as love. So, we will examine this question of relationship because that is the basis of love." -J. Krishnamurti Madras, India, 1982
"Why does the mind think about sex at all? Why? Why has it become a central issue in your life? Sex has become an extraordinary, difficult, and complex problem so long as you do not understand the mind, which thinks about the problem. The act itself can never be a problem but thought about the act creates the problem." -J. Krishnamurti, The First and Last Freedom
140 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1991
31 people are currently reading
242 people want to read
About the author
J. Krishnamurti
1,323 books4,283 followersJiddu Krishnamurti was born on 11 May 1895 in Madanapalle, a small town in south India. He and his brother were adopted in their youth by Dr Annie Besant, then president of the Theosophical Society. Dr Besant and others proclaimed that Krishnamurti was to be a world teacher whose coming the Theosophists had predicted. To prepare the world for this coming, a world-wide organization called the Order of the Star in the East was formed and the young Krishnamurti was made its head.
In 1929, however, Krishnamurti renounced the role that he was expected to play, dissolved the Order with its huge following, and returned all the money and property that had been donated for this work.
From then, for nearly sixty years until his death on 17 February 1986, he travelled throughout the world talking to large audiences and to individuals about the need for a radical change in humankind.
Krishnamurti is regarded globally as one of the greatest thinkers and religious teachers of all time. He did not expound any philosophy or religion, but rather talked of the things that concern all of us in our everyday lives, of the problems of living in modern society with its violence and corruption, of the individual's search for security and happiness, and the need for humankind to free itself from inner burdens of fear, anger, hurt, and sorrow. He explained with great precision the subtle workings of the human mind, and pointed to the need for bringing to our daily life a deeply meditative and spiritual quality.
Krishnamurti belonged to no religious organization, sect or country, nor did he subscribe to any school of political or ideological thought. On the contrary, he maintained that these are the very factors that divide human beings and bring about conflict and war. He reminded his listeners again and again that we are all human beings first and not Hindus, Muslims or Christians, that we are like the rest of humanity and are not different from one another. He asked that we tread lightly on this earth without destroying ourselves or the environment. He communicated to his listeners a deep sense of respect for nature. His teachings transcend belief systems, nationalistic sentiment and sectarianism. At the same time, they give new meaning and direction to humankind's search for truth. His teaching, besides being relevant to the modern age, is timeless and universal.
Krishnamurti spoke not as a guru but as a friend, and his talks and discussions are based not on tradition-based knowledge but on his own insights into the human mind and his vision of the sacred, so he always communicates a sense of freshness and directness although the essence of his message remained unchanged over the years. When he addressed large audiences, people felt that Krishnamurti was talking to each of them personally, addressing his or her particular problem. In his private interviews, he was a compassionate teacher, listening attentively to the man or woman who came to him in sorrow, and encouraging them to heal themselves through their own understanding. Religious scholars found that his words threw new light on traditional concepts. Krishnamurti took on the challenge of modern scientists and psychologists and went with them step by step, discussed their theories and sometimes enabled them to discern the limitations of those theories. Krishnamurti left a large body of literature in the form of public talks, writings, discussions with teachers and students, with scientists and religious figures, conversations with individuals, television and radio interviews, and letters. Many of these have been published as books, and audio and video recordings.
This author also writes under: Jiddu Krishnamurti
In 1929, however, Krishnamurti renounced the role that he was expected to play, dissolved the Order with its huge following, and returned all the money and property that had been donated for this work.
From then, for nearly sixty years until his death on 17 February 1986, he travelled throughout the world talking to large audiences and to individuals about the need for a radical change in humankind.
Krishnamurti is regarded globally as one of the greatest thinkers and religious teachers of all time. He did not expound any philosophy or religion, but rather talked of the things that concern all of us in our everyday lives, of the problems of living in modern society with its violence and corruption, of the individual's search for security and happiness, and the need for humankind to free itself from inner burdens of fear, anger, hurt, and sorrow. He explained with great precision the subtle workings of the human mind, and pointed to the need for bringing to our daily life a deeply meditative and spiritual quality.
Krishnamurti belonged to no religious organization, sect or country, nor did he subscribe to any school of political or ideological thought. On the contrary, he maintained that these are the very factors that divide human beings and bring about conflict and war. He reminded his listeners again and again that we are all human beings first and not Hindus, Muslims or Christians, that we are like the rest of humanity and are not different from one another. He asked that we tread lightly on this earth without destroying ourselves or the environment. He communicated to his listeners a deep sense of respect for nature. His teachings transcend belief systems, nationalistic sentiment and sectarianism. At the same time, they give new meaning and direction to humankind's search for truth. His teaching, besides being relevant to the modern age, is timeless and universal.
Krishnamurti spoke not as a guru but as a friend, and his talks and discussions are based not on tradition-based knowledge but on his own insights into the human mind and his vision of the sacred, so he always communicates a sense of freshness and directness although the essence of his message remained unchanged over the years. When he addressed large audiences, people felt that Krishnamurti was talking to each of them personally, addressing his or her particular problem. In his private interviews, he was a compassionate teacher, listening attentively to the man or woman who came to him in sorrow, and encouraging them to heal themselves through their own understanding. Religious scholars found that his words threw new light on traditional concepts. Krishnamurti took on the challenge of modern scientists and psychologists and went with them step by step, discussed their theories and sometimes enabled them to discern the limitations of those theories. Krishnamurti left a large body of literature in the form of public talks, writings, discussions with teachers and students, with scientists and religious figures, conversations with individuals, television and radio interviews, and letters. Many of these have been published as books, and audio and video recordings.
This author also writes under: Jiddu Krishnamurti
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
September 1, 2010
The first part of the book had such a tremendous effect on my I transcribed most of it in an effort to "jot down" some quotes for later. Krishnamurti really leads you through questioning and discovering the truth for yourself which produced many paradigm shifts in my view of myself and my relationships.
August 3, 2013
Really good stuff, Krishnamurti is great, I've been reading him since I was in high school and he's probably had a pretty big impact on my thinking (and on other authors I read). I only give it four stars because this particular volume is super repetitive. It's, as the title suggests, "collected works," which mainly means speeches he gave that were then transcribed by his followers. As I say, really good stuff, but this was in like the 1930s-1940s, before the internet and video and things like that, so a lot of the speeches are really similar. The Q&As are pretty great though, you see some variation there. I read these like a Christian might read daily devotionals.
April 24, 2022
Me pareció muy repetitivo al principio. Luego llegado al final, me gustó lo que leí, la visión que dá sobre el amor, la mente, entre otros temas. Un libro que te puede servir si quieres entender lo que es amar, y cómo puedes tener una relación profunda en la vida con los demás.
May 20, 2022
An essential dialogue for educating any youth who might manage to escape this culture.
Chastity and Love are synonymous and harmonious. They are not separate.
Love is the erasure of any identity, of any self, and is a timeless state of being. It isn’t a memory or an accumulation of pleasurable experiences and attachment. Love is not sexual attraction although sexual attraction can come about as an expression of love. This timeless state is eternity and it is now or not at all.
Chastity and Love are synonymous and harmonious. They are not separate.
Love is the erasure of any identity, of any self, and is a timeless state of being. It isn’t a memory or an accumulation of pleasurable experiences and attachment. Love is not sexual attraction although sexual attraction can come about as an expression of love. This timeless state is eternity and it is now or not at all.
January 3, 2021
The conversation is deep. It can support you to understand and see deeply in yourself. Easy to read and need intention to get each point when discovering yourself.
February 10, 2020
This book took me nearly 3 years to complete. I charged into it having no clue the material would be so dense and difficult to comprehend. I made it about 20 pages before setting it aside for easier to consume books. I'd pick it back up every 6 months and digest another serving.
As for the actual review of the book, many say it could be condensed, and perhaps, for them, it could be. For me, I was better able to understand his point from hearing it said many different ways, and from different angles. Sure, the idea that love is the answer to all can be a bit annoying...but here's what really made me think:
Krishnamurti points out that nearly all of our existence consists of a set of relations - our brains process the stimulation of the external world into RELATIONSHIPS with our selves and everything else in order to UNDERSTAND and make sense of the world. This separation or division of reality creates our sense of SELF. In this process of analyzing and compartmentalizing our relationships with people, things, ideas, etc, we kill the ability to actually BE in the MOMENT with these entities and see them for what they TRULY are.
That's the entire premise of the book: we create images (which are immediately outdated) of the thing which we are related and we place our expectations upon them. This leads to much conflict and suffering once our expectations are not met. The book is mainly a collection of talks/blurbs that take this idea and apply it to the wonderful world of sex and personal relationships.
I sat on this for a while, because I couldn't really understand how to get away from this form of relating. I guess the goal isn't perfection, but living IN the MOMENT as much as we CAN. Ie. being present/mindful. For me, that's really freaking hard. It's SO easy to get caught up in the daily humdrum.
I enjoyed this book because it made my brain hurt attempting to reassess my fundamental process for interpreting the world. Whoa
As for the actual review of the book, many say it could be condensed, and perhaps, for them, it could be. For me, I was better able to understand his point from hearing it said many different ways, and from different angles. Sure, the idea that love is the answer to all can be a bit annoying...but here's what really made me think:
Krishnamurti points out that nearly all of our existence consists of a set of relations - our brains process the stimulation of the external world into RELATIONSHIPS with our selves and everything else in order to UNDERSTAND and make sense of the world. This separation or division of reality creates our sense of SELF. In this process of analyzing and compartmentalizing our relationships with people, things, ideas, etc, we kill the ability to actually BE in the MOMENT with these entities and see them for what they TRULY are.
That's the entire premise of the book: we create images (which are immediately outdated) of the thing which we are related and we place our expectations upon them. This leads to much conflict and suffering once our expectations are not met. The book is mainly a collection of talks/blurbs that take this idea and apply it to the wonderful world of sex and personal relationships.
I sat on this for a while, because I couldn't really understand how to get away from this form of relating. I guess the goal isn't perfection, but living IN the MOMENT as much as we CAN. Ie. being present/mindful. For me, that's really freaking hard. It's SO easy to get caught up in the daily humdrum.
I enjoyed this book because it made my brain hurt attempting to reassess my fundamental process for interpreting the world. Whoa
January 3, 2020
A really good read but his content is redundant throughout the book which can be a little annoying. I would appreciate a short book rather than re-reading the same ideals over and over again. I mean, isn't it like cramming? I am not sure if I want to appear in that exam. Overall, the book is near perfect and has a lot of good practices to learn from. I give it a 4 star, just for the content but try to be concise next time around, please?
July 30, 2023
This book had a really deep effect on me. Made me question my self concept of love, relationship, ego, images...
Now it's clear what is NOT love to me, however, I believe that describing love it self is not possible, words are not enough, and that is the beauty of it.
Now it's clear what is NOT love to me, however, I believe that describing love it self is not possible, words are not enough, and that is the beauty of it.
January 17, 2023
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August 25, 2016Wisdom on relationships... How can we have true relationship if we have an image about us and the other?
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews