Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I'm Grounded?: Stop Fighting, Start Talking, and Get to Know Your Teen

by Vanessa Van Petten

Vanessa Petten bridges the communication gap between teens and parents.

Every parent fears "losing" their child. But in this revolutionary book, youthologist Vanessa Van Petten translates what parents want to say into what teens want to hear.
At 16, Vanessa Van Petten started her award-winning website, RadicalParenting.com, in reaction to sudden friction with her parents. Today, Vanessa and more than one hundred teen contributors help thousands of parents build and maintain healthy, strong, mutually fulfilling relationships with their teenage children-by providing prescriptive advice straight from the source.
From classic fights like dating and chores to 21st Century issues such as sexting and cyberbullying, this comprehensive book provides step-by-step guidance on every worry,

It's never too late to reconnect. Vanessa Van Petten helps you learn what's really going on in your child's life, and most importantly- understand when to put your foot down and when to let go.

Genres: Parenting

320 pages, Paperback

First published August 30, 2011

Reviews

[Ruby]

This isn’t your typical parenting book. Written by a young woman who is able to reach (and read) teens in a way that parents can’t, this is a book that opened my eyes to a different parenting style and offered a lot of invaluable tips and insights on reaching teens. This is also a great book for teens who want to communicate with their parents, but are finding that the usual style of communicating (fighting, over-dramatization, slacking off, etc.) isn’t working. I would definitely recommend this book to parents (or teens) who feel as if they will never survive the “dreaded” teen years.

[Melanie R]

Already a bit dated because of the strong references to "current" technology, but still has some good nuggets in there.

[Penny McGill]

Picked this one up based on the title alone. I still read it and think it is funny.

Written by a woman in her 20s who seems to do a booming business in counselling teens and their parents (her web site isn't that ground breaking in style but the content is good), this book provides great real life suggestions and solutions. I found her style of writing (and probably her style of counselling) put me in to a bit of a rage but the actual practical suggestions were fantastic. Perhaps because it is still a tiny bit far away for me as a parent I find the teen world she describes to be a bit extreme but I think that is a good part of the book - the incredible situations she details on these pages hurt, actually ache to read - but that is what makes it all ring true.

I'd never pay to have her become a part of my parenting and teen life but her book is fantastic and I know that I'll return to it again.

[Alyce]

I don't think I learned one thing from this book. A complete waste of time.

[Stacey]

We're not "fighting" per se. Just usual teen action at our place. We got a good one I think... :-)

[Rick]

OK book, she has some good information and ideas for building your relationship with teenagers. Definitely some things I can put to use in my family, just not a book that I couldn't put down.

[Amy Culbertson]

really not enlightening in any way. Assumes that every preteen and teen has a smartphone and texts, etc. and that is what difficulties come from. A waste of time to read.

[Greta Grimm]

We're not "fighting" per se. Just usual teen action at our place. We got a good one I think... :-)