We Are All the Same: A Story of a Boy's Courage and a Mother's Love

by Jim Wooten

"Wooten has pulled off something close to miraculous... and touched the face of HIV/AIDS with compassion and humanity. — Alexandra Fuller , Chicago Tribune "This is a book not to be missed." — People "Amazing and tender... in this special book [Wooten] brings home the tragedy of AIDS." — Liz Smith , New York Post "Wooten rightly disregards journalistic distance and writes himself into the work, making it read like a contemplative literary memoir." — Time Out New York

Genres: Nonfiction, Africa, Memoir, Biography, South Africa, School, Book Club

243 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 2004

Reviews

[Isabelle reads a book a day because she has no friends · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t read this book unless you want to cry, feel pure, unadulterated rage about the injustice of the world, have a huge wake-up call, feel deep sadness and grief, learn more than you thought you could, and cry some more. That being said: everyone should read this book. It is essential knowledge and an honest, firsthand account of the AIDS epidemic in Africa. I never would have came across this book if it hadn’t been for my biology class about disease in modern society, and it has completely changed my worldview (I hope my professor liked my “tear-counts” in the notes I took).
Seriously, I want to scream the name of this book from the mountaintops. It is a call for change. A call for action. If you are thinking about reading this book, just do it.

[Leigh Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I put together a little shelf of books and told myself I would donate them all, but first I would read them real quick. I decided to get off to an easy start with a short human interest story. Then I proceeded to spend the better part of two years trying to read this book.

Why was it so hard to read? I think I came to the book out of respect for Nkosi Johnson and his dignified suffering, but that isn't the sort of emotion that makes for a literary attachment. I already knew the basic outline of the story, and I remembered the era fairly well, including South African President Mbeki's maddening refusal to acknowledge the realities of HIV transmission and treatment in his country. And of course, I knew the ending, and I was afraid of it, as I am afraid of most sad things. So in a sense, I knew too much, and there just was not much more to glean from the short life of a sickly little boy. Wooten's effort is workmanlike, but I am glad to have finished it all the same.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an absolutley amazing work of non-fiction. It details the life of a young African boy born HIV positive, who is given up for adoption by his mother who is gravely ill from full-blown AIDS. A white South African family adopts him, knowing full well that his ailments will eventually overcome him and that they will have to pay out of their pockets for his care. This young boy naturally becomes a part of the AIDS advocacy work in which his family is so involved in Africa and does some remarkable work of his own. All around, an inspiring story that illustrates how miracles are often borne of tragedy.

[Susan Neal · Rating 5 out of 5]

so amazing....I seriously thought about going over to see where this courageous boy grew up and see what I could do to help....maybe even move there. But then I remembered I have my own family to take care of, I am not a nurse or social worker and have no piles of cash available to pour into the project. Definitely a book that sticks with you.

[Deb Stern · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful, sweet, sad story of a mother(Daphne)putting her child before herself, another woman(Gail)strong and selfless, and a little, brave boy(Nkosi)that will live in my heart from this day forward. The story of these real life people is woven within daunting statistics of the HIV/AIDS outbreak in Africa. I am so bad at remembering names, but I will not forget these incredible people.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

A true story written by journalist Jim Wooten about his experiences with a family in S. Africa in which a little boy is suffering from AIDS. Soon to be a movie...

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This whole book could have been one magazine article. It dragged, and repeated, and dragged some more. Stick to TV Mr. Wooten. But kudos on reminding us of a great true story.

[Lisa Hale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enlightening book on South Africa AIDS crisis and wonderful story of a very brave boy, Nkosi

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Around 84 million people have been infected by the AIDS virus since the start of the epidemic. Over the summer I read We Are All The Same by Jim Wooten. This book was an amazing representation of a little boy's strength and a mothers love for a child who isn't even her own. This book starts in a little town in South Africa. With a little boy named Nkiosi who was slowly dying of AIDS and there was nothing anyone could do to help. The story takes you through this little boy's life and shows the reader what it was like to have AIDS.

Sadly AIDS takes the lives of so many people. To this day there are a lot of people who have this disease. “We are all the same. We are not different from one another. We all belong to one family”(Pg.2). This quote comes from the little boy Nkiosi who just wants a normal life, but AIDS is stopping that from happening. This book talks about the fight that Nkiosi needed to fight to survive just one more day. Nkiosi was one of the very few kids to be adopted by a family that could afford him treatment and give him a loving home.

I would probably give this book a ⅘ stars because I really loved the powerful message it gave. The only thing I didn't like was that at the beginning it was very slow. There was a lot of history and background information in the first two chapters, but other than that it had an amazing story line and it really opened my eyes to what AIDS is and how it affects the lives of the people who have it. This quote really showed me how terrible this virus is: “hundreds of dying men and women lay on blankets in every available space” (pg. 55). The reporter saw this happening right in front of his eyes. AIDS affects so many people from so many different backgrounds. It breaks my heart that so many people (including myself before I read this book) don't even know what AIDS is.

This book gave me many thoughts and feelings. I learned so much about the AIDS epidemic. It's so sad that so many people are affected by this disease and don't have the right treatments that could save their life, or at least prolong their lives. So many people are suffering and can't get help. In conclusion this book was powerful but heartbreaking at the same time.

[Lauren R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has been on my to-read list for over 10 years and I've finally listened to the audio version (not read by the author). It's such a tough story to listen to because it is so depressing but I must say it is so compelling and thought provoking! Having worked on HIV/AIDS stigma and discrimination reduction in another country with very high rates of infection (outside of Africa), this story really resonated with me because it underscores the importance of education. The HIV denialism in South Africa was just wild to listen to; meanwhile, Uganda is handling business a few countries away! However, reading it so much later than it was written, it seems hard to believe that there was ever a time when the transmission of HIV was so grossly misunderstood and that mitigation efforts were prevented by many in power. The South African president at the time refused a FREE supply of nevaripine, an otherwise incredibly expensive drug that would have halved the rates of mother-to-child infection with one simple shot in labor and one simple shot given to the newborn after birth. Mbeki, who succeded Mandela, was a full-on conspiracy theorist. He was sure that an "omnipotent apparatus" was using AIDS as genocide against black people; that apparatus included big pharma and western governments, among others. Certainly not apples to apples but I do wonder how we'll look back on COVID when it's all said and done! In our current times, I'm sure there will be some that see Gail Johnson as a white savior; even when Nkosi was in her care, there were many who claimed she put Nkosi in the limelight for the notoriety. She seemed so authentically herself to me and I think she was a wonderful advocate for Nkosi, helping to extend his life to 12 beautiful years instead of the two years or less most infected children would have had.

[Debby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jim Wooten, a senior foreign correspondent for ABC, has written a powerful and shocking tale of truth about the AIDS epidemic in Africa and one young boy affected by the disease. In 1989, Xolani Nkosi was born in a squatter's camp in what used to be Zululand, South Africa. His 19-year-old unmarried Zulu mother, Daphne, was unknowingly infected with HIV virus by his father, and passed it on to him at birth. Knowing she was dying, Daphne too Nkosi to an AIDS hospice for white patients in Johannesburg when he was two. When the hospice was forced to close because of funding issues, Gail Johnson, one of the white founders, too Nkosi into her home and became his second mother. With the demise of apartheid in the 1990's, the plight of those affected with HIV became more obvious, but Nelson Mandela and his successor, Thabo Mbeki, refused to address the issue of AIDS. Nkosi and Gail were pushed to the forefront of the fight when they tried to get Nkosi admitted to school. Because of Gail's care and resources, he had already lived much longer than any other HIV baby - the average life expectancy for an infant born with the virus was three years. He (and Gail) became a symbol and spokesman for all those in Africa with the disease until his death in 2001. Nkosi's frail body, but abundant spirit told the truth even when his country's leaders denied it. This gentle expose of the entwined history of AIDS, South Africa, and its politicians with one brave young boy is one we should all read and learn from.

[Mapleleaf · Rating 4 out of 5]

We are all the Same, Jim Wooten (Mar4-6) 8.5/10 Infected with AIDS by her husband, Daphne makes the courageous decision to leave her 2-year old HIV-infected son Xolani Nkosi in a home for people with AIDS. When the home is shut down for lack of funds, Gail Johnson, the owner, takes home Xolani who becomes part of her family. Together Gail and Xolani battle the school for the right to attend and both travel the world to gain support for the disease. Towards his last few months of his twelfth year, he made a powerful speech during an International convention which Ugandan president Museveni attended (delivered a speech but quietly slipped away at the beginning of Xolani’s speech). In the end, he made peace with death as he knew he would be reunited with his biological mother. Xolani helped raise funds to support a second shelter that Gail opened for women and children with HIV. One night, Xolani asked to stay overnight at the shelter. During his bath, he had a seizure which led to a coma from which he never regained consciousness. During and after his funeral, Xolani’s grandmother flip-flopped her public opinions about that white woman “Gail” who supposedly used Xolani to make her fortune. The author approached the grandmother for her help in writing Nkosi’s story; Dudu, the aunt insisted that $50,000 dollars be the fee for the cooperation. Another aunt gave Nkosi’s history for free.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes you read a book that shakes you to your core and makes you look at life a little differently. We Are All the Same was one of those books for me. It follows, mainly the life story of Nkosi Johnson and his adopted mother Gail Johnson. Nkosi and myself were both born in 1989 into very different worlds. During this time, South Africa was in a whirlwind of change and progress after the efforts of Nelson Mandela but was stricken with the rapid, and life-threatening effects of HIV/AIDS. Nkosi was born to an impoverished family and was already HIV positive. He was taken in and adopted by Gail who's passion for helping HIV infected people lead her to open a safe shelter for them in Johannsenburg. Nkosi became the HIV/AIDs community's biggest advocate "putting a face" on the virus and standing up for those affected. Courage truly doesnt have a more pure form then of this young child. The book comes to a climax when Nkosi is chosen to speak at the AIDs world conference in 2000. Delivering a monumental, moving speech in which he stated "We are all the same, we are not different from one another. We belong to one family. We love, we laugh, we hurt, we cry... Dont be afraid of us. We are all the same." I highly recommend this short read and amazing tribute to this brave young man.

[Dominique · Rating 3 out of 5]

An incredible in-depth view of AIDS and its effect on South Africa while making it personal through the story of this little boy and his life. It was eye-opening and almost unbelievable if I didn’t know it was true. It’s amazing how one can live in a world and be completely unaware of major events in others’ lives because they are far from one’s own. Reading bridges the gap though, and that’s why we need books like these.
That being said, this was only a 3 star book for me, not because of the story, but because of how it was written. It was very detailed, probably overly detailed, and while some background and political information is necessary to really understand, it felt like too much. I appreciate all the author did to substantiate this book with all of his research, but a lot of the information seemed subservient to the real story. It felt boring. And long-winded.
It did shine a light on the devastation of South Africa and the rampant spread of AIDS, and I enjoyed reading about this champion little boy for reminding the world that we are all people, regardless of our differences.

[Maria Luciotti · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story itself, of Gail and Nkosi, is a beautiful yet sad one; my rating is based on the book as it's written. I hadn't expected it to spend so much of the start on South Africa's history or Gail's personal background, but you don't really meet Nkosi until after page 100. It was easy to imagine him and his life, his relationship with Gail, and in a sense form a bond with him. Reading of his seizure in the tub actually brought tears to my eyes because I imagined I was about to learn that was how he had passed away. To learn about these people and their actions and personal experiences with AIDS was really impactful, but to read about the forces inhibiting larger scale change in South Africa regarding AIDS was really disappointing.. This was a really touching story that I never would have come across had this book not been given to me.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Publised in 2004 the story of Zolani Nkosi Johnson, a Zulu child born in 1989 HIV positive from his mother and died in 2001 by his adopted mothers side. The story is not just about HIV/AIDS but the racial divide, South Africa's governement under ANC who refused to acknowledge the disease existed the discrimination and abadonnment of those with HIV/AIDS and the controversy of white families adopting black children.
Gail Johnson, was an advocate for gay white men with HIV/AIDS, men who were outcasts in society. She opened a home for these beautiful men and met her future son Nkosi. She opened a number of locations for women with children with HIV/AIDS and still 19 years since Nkosi's death, is director.
A great read, and you will need kleenix

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is near and dear to my heart, as I spent the summer of 2007 in Johannesburg, South Africa volunteering at Nkosi's Haven. Jim Wooten beautifully conveys Gail's dedication to Nkosi, and her efforts to support families affected by the AIDS epidemic. Wooten humanizes those impacted by the injustices of South African policy in a way that (to be blunt) makes you want to set everything on fire. A number of the individuals mentioned in the book became my friends during this summer and, in one case, lost their life violently in the months after I left. This book will stick with you; an inspiring and heart-wrenching call for justice.

[Katie - Girl About Library · Rating 4 out of 5]

This review, and many more, are available on my blog Girl About Library!

I absolutely loved this book, and I was surprised how much I learned while reading it. If you are interested in South African history, apartheid, or AIDS- I think this book has a lot to offer. Nkosi Johnson's story really enhanced my understanding of the effect AIDS had on that area. His story is well woven into the history, statistics, and anecdotes the author included. A great non fiction read!

[Victoria Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book for a college class years ago and it has remained one of my favorite books ever. It is such a heartbreaking story that is beautifully told and brings the HIV/AIDS situation in Africa into a new perspective.

Accelerated Reader: 8.5 (estimation)
Guided Reading Level: Z+ (estimation)
6 Traits: Ideas and Voice

I would probably use excerpts of this book to teach students about the history of Apartheid and racism. If I were teaching a middle or high school class, I would use it to teach them about the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa and how it affects people today.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story of a black boy in South Africa, born with HIV, which developed into AIDS, and the courage with which he faced his fate, along with the support of his adoptive mother, a white woman was told through the lens of an older white journalist.

Unlike some journalists, Wooten manages to write this story with good flow and to capture the humanity of the people he is writing about, including their flaws and foibles. It was a heart breaking story in the midst of apartheid and the terrible denial of the HIV AIDS crisis in South Africa by the leadership of the country.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is written by a journalist and reads like a well researched article with lots of details. It’s the story of South African (Zulu) Nkosi who is born HIV+ and his caretaker Gaul Johnson who become well-known AIDS activists in the 90s. It was informative about the AIDS epidemic in Africa, as well as the (oftentimes incorrect) beliefs about AIDS at the time. Also the strength of the boy and his “mother” Gail who continued to persevere in order to see change for the millions of AIDS victims.

It was a good non fiction book.

[Jim Anderson-Greenover · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was a little busy this weekend. Once I got the opportunity to pick up this book, I wasn’t able to put it down.

This is a really touching true story about a young boy born with HIV who’s adopted by a South African family. Even though they know he’s very sick, they love him and work hard to help fight against AIDS. It’s a sad but inspiring story about how love and hope can come from tough times.

[Sami Ki · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written, inspirational story about a magnetic little boy who always sought to do his best. I had a hard time putting this book down especially towards the end...I was touched and moved to tears!

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who lived in South Africa during the time around which this story was set, I noticed a couple of inaccurate statements about South Africa, but otherwise this was a very touching and thought-provoking story about how compassion can supersede race and class differences.

[Ann Dake · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was about a boy with aids in South Africa and his life and his white mother , Gail who adopted him when he was young and became an activist for the aids community in Africa. Very inspiring and sad.

[Bridget · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated hearing this story about AIDS in Africa. Growing up in this time period, AIDS was so very controversial and there was so much unknown surrounding it. So hearing a perspective that is different and enlightening to round out the picture of HIV/AIDS was helpful to me.

[Kyla · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book highlighting the plight of the AIDs pandemic in South Africa. I appreciated how they followed the life of one young boy from conception to death and all those who were impacted by him.

[Gabriel Rivera · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of those books one can read in just a few sittings because it is so well written. The story is as powerful and inspiring as it is somber and sad. I read it as a school assignment and ended up keeping it and have read it again since.

[Peg Schoenfelder · Rating 1 out of 5]

A brave story but reads like a reporter's reporting. It seems sort of lifeless.

[Liesl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. I enjoyed the message and getting to know the characters, but since it was written 15 years ago, much of the facts will not be new to you. Worth the read though.