The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me

by Lisa Ann Walter

Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter offers a hilarious, star-studded collection of essays encouraging women to laugh at what they can't change, enjoy a guilty pleasure or two, and finally accept the lives and the bodies they're in now. The DanceYour Ass Off judge and star of movies like The Parent Trap, Shall We Dance, and Bruce Almighty delivers a warm, wry, honest, and effective exhortation to find happiness where you are, in a serenity prayer for today’s woman that’s perfect for fans of Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project, Valerie Bertinelli’s Losing It and Chelsea Handler’s My Horizontal Life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Comedy, Biography, Memoir, Humor

256 pages, Hardcover

First published April 27, 2011

About the author

Lisa Ann Walter is the proud Creator, Executive Producer, and a judge on the NBC/UNI cable series Dance Your Ass Off, now seen in more than 40 countries. She had a ball playing “cougar-licious” Olivia in the Ashton Kutcher/Katherine Heigl action-comedy Killers, has starred in such blockbusters as The Parent Trap, Bruce Almighty, War of the Worlds, and many other favorites, including Shall We Dance. She is also the honored recipient of 4 Best Actress Awards for the Independent The Trouble with Dee Dee. She currently stars as Melissa Schemmenti on ABC's Abbott Elementary. Favorite television roles include the critically acclaimed Rachel Glass in Breaking News, and appearances on Nip/Tuck and Curb Your Enthusiasm, and as a frequent Politically Incorrect “friend.”

Lisa has created, written, produced and directed numerous projects. She starred in, co-created, and produced two network series: FoxTV’s My Wildest Dreams and ABC’S Life’s Work; she executive produced and performed in the all-chick stand-up DVD The Naughty Show; and co-created, produced, and directed the original series Gonzo Girls, which became a web sensation, currently in production with HDNet.

Her all-media assault to take on female self-loathing—using jokes as her weapon—now includes the publishing world. She is the author of The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It’s Behind Me, a collection of humorous essays and memoirs about the ridiculous game women play of “self-esteem whack-a-mole,” and how stupid it is to hate yourself when there are so many better targets in the world.

Lisa Ann spent 10 years performing in stock, rep, and off-Broadway, and as a nationally acclaimed stand-up, headlining clubs such as The Comic Strip, Caroline's, The Laugh Factory, and The Improv. She is delighted to lend her talents as a satirical songstress, auctioneer,and hostess at numerous high-profile philanthropic shows such as “What a Pair,” “Legendary Bingo,” “Phase One,” and “Hollywood Bag Ladies Lupus Luncheon.”

She is most proud of her life as a working Hollywood Mom of four kids—and the fact that her stomach is still reasonably flat after being the clown-car they all came out of.

Reviews

[lia 🎀]

last year i got this from the library before i had goodreads but anyway lisa is one of my favorite actresses she’s one of the sweetest people in hollywood at the moment and her honesty and authenticity both in this book and how she treats me and her fans is something so special that i’ve not seen in any other actress. i don’t like the thought of giving stars to lisa’s life because she is a star herself and one that is always growing and changing and shining her light. go into this book knowing it was written in 2011, therefore some of the humor may be a little old, but it is also a very charming book worth the read, having advice for girls who have experienced disordered eating and honestly her life story is just very interesting in general. would reccomend to any fans of the parent trap or abbott elementary

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've always liked Lisa Ann Walter ever since I saw her in the movie, The Parent Trap. Now, I got to know her a little bit thru her book and more recently, thru her radio show, The Fabulous Lisa Ann Walter show on KFI AM 640. But her book, The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me, is probably one of the most honest books I've read in a long time. Too bad I'm *** years old and just read this now, because I sure could have used it when I was in my teens!

Lisa is first and foremost, a comedian. She uses her comedic sense to tell it like it is about everything from dating to loving yourself just as you are and not what the media thinks you should be. Honest, brutally so, and perhaps self-deprecating, but completely real. I for one could identify with it on many levels. Maybe if I had read it before my own cosmetic surgery, I would not have done it. Well, actually I had to for medical reasons, but that's another story.

I love how Lisa interjects her own life into the book, but not making it the focal point. Rather, she uses her own life as an example of what not to do since she's already done it and knows what doesn't work. Reading The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me further solidifies my desire to be happy with what I have, even if it is not the ideal and then go out there and make the most of my life.

[Crystal Myers · Rating 2 out of 5]

Picked it out of true free little library on a whim. A good reminder to be kind to yourself.

[﹒⌗﹒ bella 📚 ⸝⸝ · Rating 5 out of 5]

will never stop loving Lisa and this book 🫶

[Saffronchicken · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay oh my god?! This book was a masterpiece, like i absolutely loved it?! I think this is one of those books everyone should read at least once during their lifetime? Like it was so beautiful and so comforting and it just felt good reading it and it made me feel good about myself! Miss Lisa Ann Walter you’re everything!<3

[Poppy]

Ok I literally read this online (is that cheating?) in like 2 hours
Imagine if my silly little brain could’ve engaged that kind of hyperfocus to essay writing

Anyway I basically read it for the inside goss on lisa’s life
I’m obsessed with her (not in a creepy way - especially when aforementioned essay was on parasocial relationships) and I’m nosey
And there was insights - a lot of which broke my heart a bit. I’ve listened to podcasts and interviews so heard some things before but not everything, just want to give her a big hug really

It’s fascinating how she can trace back and link this self loathing and sometimes destructive behaviours to her childhood. But also interesting put in the context of being an actress in hollywood and what that means.

I would have liked more goss if I’m honest, but that’s not really what the book was about. It lived up to how it’s marketed, as I say, I’m just nosey.

Also some of the language is very ‘this is said by a comic in 2011’ so would not be used today so made me cringe a bit (but hey context is important and anyone can see she wouldn’t say the same now @ that weirdo who tried to cancel her on twitter)

Oh also her (second) ex husband can actually burn in hell bc what an awful human being

All that being said I don’t really have a rating
I just love lisa and wish parts of her life had been easier
But I appreciate a made-too-quickly-to-cope-with-trauma joke because girl me too

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, Lisa Ann Walter, aka Chessy of The Parent Trap, wrote a book and People reviewed it maybe three months ago or so and thanks to Borders going out of business, I snagged it for $2.50, and I'm glad that I did. This is a combination self help/humor/memoir combo with a tad bit of cookbook thrown in there. It's not really a cohesively fluid book by any means since it seems to go from story to list to picture explanation to fake letters, but she flawlessly transitions between them so that you don't even realize you're reading something that has nothing to do with what you were just reading before.

She really does make you want to love yourself because of things she's been through and you can tell she's very genuine in her fight for self-love (especially with younger females). She makes you lol with her point of view of Hollywood since she's celebrity-adjacent and can laugh with us at the inside stories she shares. She's one of the people and a girl you want to hang out with and give a hug to after reading The Best Thing. Though it did surprise me that she didn't delve further into Dance Your Ass Off. She also explains all her diets and her surgeries and cosmetics you should stick to and ones that are lying.

Good job Lisa Ann, what are you up to this weekend? Let's grab drinks.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

As much as I would like to write the only good thing about reading this book is that it is behind me, I cannot. That would imply an active dislike when in truth I was just bored. If you are going to focus wholly on yourself your life has to be more interesting or your thoughts more original or your writing more amusing. Still if she were to write something other than on the mirror I would give it another try.

[Donna]

This is a friend of mine who is one of the funniest and most intelligent women I know! I should have read this when it first was released..better late than never. Can't wait to have a few laughs!! I'm sure I will give it a 5 star rating!

[Mediaman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Messy and often directionless book that, like the author's body, has some fun curves but is very padded. I'm not saying anything she doesn't admit to, because the book is really her attempt at having stronger self-esteem about her physical qualities. If you're a women with body image issues, she addresses most of the pages to you. But it comes across as too negative and depressing, with minimal stories about her much more interesting career.

As an actress she has done a lot of great projects with big stars, and while she loves to name drop it's silly to continually and repetitively mention her work without many substantive stories. There's one good chapter devoted to her movie and TV projects, giving a few paragraphs to each of the main ones, but this is so poorly written that I still have no idea how Dance Your Ass Off came to be nor what she had to do with it (she only alludes to it over and over without specifics). Most of the book wanders all over the place from her sex life to her demeaning ex-husbands (one of whom she doesn't even name and when I looked online no one seems to be able to identify who he was!) to her diet issues and eating disorders to her liberation through four breast surgeries.

Like I said, if that's the kind of thing that makes you feel better about yourself, then this might be your book. But for the rest of us, reading over and over about how bad she feels about her body or what she ate or how terribly she allowed herself to be treated by men is not inspirational. She overpraises some of the famous men who gave her supporting words of encouragement on set (Tom Cruise, Richard Gere), seems to like liberal politicians simply due to their sexual chemistry (Bill Clinton), but pretty much concludes that when it comes to regular non-famous men "all guys suck."

She makes a weak attempt to state, "Ladies, we have to start taking responsibility for our choices because it has become apparent to me that, much as men suspected--we stay very interested in a guy when...a guy keeps you off balance." So while she's saying women have to make better choices and take responsibility for their actions, in truth the message that comes across on these pages is that men are the problem that cause women to have issues--unless they are rich, famous, and upholding her body as perfection.

The best thing about this book is that it's behind me.

[h]

to start off ive read this book for the 5th time recently. i just wanna say that i will not rate it because there isn’t enough stars to. lisa has always been one of my favorite actresses, she’s the reason why im still here and honestly so is this book. i first read the book when i was in the hospital i had one of my episodes and my dad knew how much lisa helps (her movies shows etc) he knew she had a book because i couldn’t stop talking about it so we went out of his way to get it for me. i know this book isn’t supposed to be comforting but to me it is, mostly because ive gone through (still going through) a lot of what lisa has gone though. each time i read it i always annotate certain parts i may have missed all the other times reading it. in a way this book made me feel better about myself and made me realize a lot. this book will always be #1 on my list of favorites, and i would recommend it to anyone.

[Francesca Cassola · Rating 3 out of 5]

LAW is a very good stand-up comedian, but her comedy seems a little forced when transposed to paper. I appreciated the first part of the book, much more dense with autobiographical details of her youth. The second part instead plays a lot on female stereotypes, criticizing the world of forced beauty and criticizing some female characters, but at the same time supporting that we must unite in a strong sisterhood. I found it all a little inconsistent. The author has changed her way of thinking over time, maturing it and the book is a product of the period in which it was written.

[Jodi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't like celebrities telling me how relatable they are and giving tips on how to love my body when they're also completely cosmetic-procedured up and admit spending tens of thousands of dollars on their hair?! Also she constantly talked about how she has had to learn not to find her worth in her sex appeal but most of her tips are believing in your own sex appeal regardless. I skimmed most of the second half. I might be interested in trying her recipe at the end.

[Vica · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not a fun read. Hot takes on how life was unfair to her for having thick lips and a big butt. Also, beware of transphobic slurs.

[paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

i would marry this woman in a heartbeat

[Rita]

Lisa Ann, I would lay down my life for you. Also I need an entire book of Cathy Utley letters!

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. I think it is because I wanted to read it for so long and once I finally got my hands on it my expectations were too high. It had its funny moments, not hysterical, but funny. I don't know, maybe she was trying too hard to be funny and it didn't translate well in print. Additionally, some of it was sad/serious. Like when she discusses how her relationship with her estranged father changed once he began taking her to Weight Watchers to loose some extra pounds she gained during the demise of her parents' marriage. All of a sudden she understood that a thinner her meant more of her dad's time and love. That broke my heart. I enjoyed her stories of Hollywood and all of its ridiculousness. And I agree with her about women defining themselves on their terms. Fashion, tv and the media in general will pick the look de jour and have women around the world scrambling to fit that look. Screw 'em. Do you, be you and enjoy the ride. At times she might come across redundant and preachy but that is because she seems to wholeheartedly believe everything she is saying. All in all, its a likeable book.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure where I got this book. Since Lisa Ann is a comedian, I suspected it would be along the lines of "Bossypants" or "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?". It turned out to be less funny, but more instructive.

Lisa Ann starts out with stories about her life, struggles, challenges, etc. She has not always had an easy life, but she does own it - every wrinkle and curve. It was refreshing reading a book by someone that knows they don't always have it together...

Though there was much in the book that felt like filler, there were some surprisingly good tips on how to reframe an experience and also how to get to the actual root of an issue (rather than stay mad at what you think you are mad at).

I liked the book, but Lisa Ann's sometimes crass/sometimes sassy/sometimes mean comments are surely a better fit for the comedy club than they will be for many readers.

[Jacqueline Weaver · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I read this book I felt that she was talking about my life only with me it was my low self-esteem because I am not pretty, in fact, I don't even hit the top 5 in looks. That has been my life I have come to accept it. I felt like I understood what she was going through, and I was moved to tears when she talked about how she felt when people would call her fat or when she was going through rough relationships. Just knowing she had a lot of positive people behind to help her through was great she still has those people. But this book has some great anecdotes and life lessons we all can relate to and follow I like it I will read it again BTW she is absolutely stunning

[Dianne Cykert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hilarious. Quick read with plenty of self deprecating humor and some juicy insights into the (ridiculous) world of Hollywood beauty standards. Lots of laugh out loud moments to be had. I especially loved the recipe she included at the end of the book. I've never read a recipe with such intent that it made me both laugh and want to cook the meal.

If you are a woman, you must read this book. Trust me, you'll feel better about yourself if you do.

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny - and some really good advice!

I admit, it was the title and the cover that got me to buy this book. I wasn't really familiar with Lisa Ann Walter as a comedian or actress before I saw the book. She writes like she's your best gal pal, and you're having a heart-to-heart discussion. She has some really good advice to share, and makes you laugh (at her and yourself) along the way. Don't forego the footnotes! Love 'em!!

[Kara · Rating 2 out of 5]

There’s a manic energy to her memoir that leaves the reader slightly nauseous as she tells a funny Hollywood anecdote, then a poor-me story, then makes a joke, then tells all Womyn to join the Sisterhood and forget about appearance, then talks about trying to make her thighs smaller, then another joke, another piece of movie gossip, and… yeah.

[Gwen Menz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really cute book with a few laugh-out-loud parts. The absolute best part is that she is just like the rest of us --- body image issues and all the things we've tried to "fix" those issues. I read it in only 2 days - easy read and very upbeat. If you hate your ass, or any other part of your body, this book is for you.

[Aimee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved, loved, LOVED this book! Lisa’s writing style with the footnotes is the best. I love that she tells it like it is. She's blunt and doesn't apologize for it! She kept my attention, I didn't want to put the book down to sleep, and her chapters weren't too long. She's got a new life long fan now!

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Light and funny read for all of those girls who are constantly looking in the mirror and finding flaws. Lisa Ann is hilarious and I really enjoyed how she had some of her famous and beautiful hollywood girlfriends give accounts of what they hate most about themselves.

[Jessica Jaeger · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book to be a bit more boastful of Lisa Ann Walter than I cared to read. The first couple of chapters were hysterical but eventually, it came back around to her arrogance and the humor was diminishing. I was disappointed and do not recommend this book.

[Sue-Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Struggled to get through. May start again some day.

[Lesa Parnham]

Not funny, a person who was trying to tell people to love themselves and then spends the book talking about all of her cosmetics enhancements. Blah!

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked it. Toward the end it got kind of over kill-definitely could have ended sooner.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a diversion. It took me less than an hour to skim through it. Some of it was funny and others so so. I would never buy this book--got it from the library.