What do you think?
Rate this book
Sacred Dying: Creating Rituals for Embracing the End of Life
Creating Rituals for Embracing the End of Life
From the Foreward by Thomas Moore, Author, Care of the Soul
It isn't easy to live and die meaningfully in a society that has forgotten its natural religious roots. We think we're smart and sophisticated because we have outgrown the need for ritual and prayer. We have vanquished religion intellectually and are therefore surprised when, faced with death or illness or with the dying of a loved one, we don't have the answers to the basic questions. And so we have to learn all over again, remembering our traditions, if we're lucky enough to have had them, and looking for someone to help deal with mysteries we've ignored.
Megory Anderson covers most of the difficult questions associated with the act of dying and attendant care, and her recommendations are intelligent, inventive, and mercifully humane. She can tell us not to shock a relative by holding a drumming session at the deathbed if the relative wasn't into drumming. The basic principle here is very Don't confuse your own needs and enthusiasms (more often, neuroses) with the needs of the dying person. Megory is someone who obviously has a background in ritual and has spent enough years at it, with sufficient attention and skepticism, to know the real thing from the merely sentimental. I always get nervous when people talk about making up rituals, but this book, I'm happy to say, is a solid guide.
I've read quite a few books on dying, and one of the remarkable things that impresses me about them is how they teach me to live with care and appreciation. They are not at all morbid, and they are not for someone else.
They speak to me, as this book will speak to you. You can put its wisdom into practice today. After reading it for today, you can do what I have already done; Place it on a special shelf with a few other books that you can reach for easily when the angel of death passes close. This is one book to keep at hand, because you can be sure that one day you will need it.
From the Foreward by Thomas Moore, Author, Care of the Soul
It isn't easy to live and die meaningfully in a society that has forgotten its natural religious roots. We think we're smart and sophisticated because we have outgrown the need for ritual and prayer. We have vanquished religion intellectually and are therefore surprised when, faced with death or illness or with the dying of a loved one, we don't have the answers to the basic questions. And so we have to learn all over again, remembering our traditions, if we're lucky enough to have had them, and looking for someone to help deal with mysteries we've ignored.
Megory Anderson covers most of the difficult questions associated with the act of dying and attendant care, and her recommendations are intelligent, inventive, and mercifully humane. She can tell us not to shock a relative by holding a drumming session at the deathbed if the relative wasn't into drumming. The basic principle here is very Don't confuse your own needs and enthusiasms (more often, neuroses) with the needs of the dying person. Megory is someone who obviously has a background in ritual and has spent enough years at it, with sufficient attention and skepticism, to know the real thing from the merely sentimental. I always get nervous when people talk about making up rituals, but this book, I'm happy to say, is a solid guide.
I've read quite a few books on dying, and one of the remarkable things that impresses me about them is how they teach me to live with care and appreciation. They are not at all morbid, and they are not for someone else.
They speak to me, as this book will speak to you. You can put its wisdom into practice today. After reading it for today, you can do what I have already done; Place it on a special shelf with a few other books that you can reach for easily when the angel of death passes close. This is one book to keep at hand, because you can be sure that one day you will need it.
384 pages, Hardcover
First published April 5, 2001
19 people are currently reading
371 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
September 11, 2019
This is an excellent book which opens up the sacred dimension of death, which unfortunately in Western culture is too often viewed as a medical event. Megory shares a wide variety of dying or death situations where she gently helps patients or loved ones create the rituals appropriate for the people involved and the situation. Through these stories and further suggestions she opens our eyes and our hearts to possibilities we might consider in our own death, the death of loved ones or even for those who work/sit with the dying.
There is a beautiful appendix of sacred texts, poetry, and writings drawn from a variety of traditions. A real gem, this appendix, as well as the whole book!
There is a beautiful appendix of sacred texts, poetry, and writings drawn from a variety of traditions. A real gem, this appendix, as well as the whole book!
September 10, 2022
I purchase my books second-hand, mostly to feel better about my consumerism but also for that spark of connection when holding a book someone else has read and (hopefully) loved. When I flipped it open to the first page, it was dated with a handwritten “October 11, 2019” and the annotations throughout it reference a dying person, Gene, and his wife’s pondering on what would help bring meaning to his last months through ritual.
And that is exactly how this book is best used: a comprehensive guidebook that beautifully blends diverse spiritual traditions to help a dying person and/or their loved ones (or death companion) create a unique and sacred ritual to honor their end-of-life transition.
With chapter headings such as “Traditions: Incorporating Religious Ritual”, “Music: Healing and Transcendence” and the final chapter, “The Soul’s Journey”, Megory Anderson offers a distinctly spiritual handbook in a literary landscape often kept secular or near-sighted in its specialization. But Anderson is truly comprehensive in her coverage; prayers, sacred texts, poetry, and readings from secular writers fall alongside the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament, the Qur’an, the Hindu Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita, Buddhist Sutras, and the Tibetan Book of the Dead. This diversity of belief is elegantly curated for end-of-life and death care to truly be a spiritual guidebook for creating those unique and personalized rituals. IG:@the.farewell.library
And that is exactly how this book is best used: a comprehensive guidebook that beautifully blends diverse spiritual traditions to help a dying person and/or their loved ones (or death companion) create a unique and sacred ritual to honor their end-of-life transition.
With chapter headings such as “Traditions: Incorporating Religious Ritual”, “Music: Healing and Transcendence” and the final chapter, “The Soul’s Journey”, Megory Anderson offers a distinctly spiritual handbook in a literary landscape often kept secular or near-sighted in its specialization. But Anderson is truly comprehensive in her coverage; prayers, sacred texts, poetry, and readings from secular writers fall alongside the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament, the Qur’an, the Hindu Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita, Buddhist Sutras, and the Tibetan Book of the Dead. This diversity of belief is elegantly curated for end-of-life and death care to truly be a spiritual guidebook for creating those unique and personalized rituals. IG:@the.farewell.library
February 13, 2014
This is one of the best books on death and dying I've read as a hospice volunteer. It focuses on how to honor a person's dying through rituals and vigiling before death (also includes dying alone or suddenly or tragically or removal of life support.) Great appendices of readings and prayers and great bibliography if other resources. Culturally and religiously diverse....only lacunae--how to help atheists. Still, powerful and useful.
May 19, 2018
Sacred Dying introduced me to the idea of rituals, which was lacking in my experience for the most part. Rituals for dying, at death and afterwards were explained. I will now look at those possibilities and implement them if the occasion arises. I will also consider the concepts for myself as I communicate my wishes for that inevitable time.
October 12, 2007
This was a required book for my palliative care course. A gracious, penetrating, realistic, spiritual book, which made me realize we can create a good death, no matter if we are the dying or the witness.
November 14, 2008
This is one of the best & most.... "holy" I guess you might say, books about dying & preparing for death. It is not a sad or scary book but one that comforts & helps to give meaning to the end of our lives.
April 6, 2018
This book is full of heart warming stories, brilliant and inspirational ideas and practical considerations. It's definitely staying as part of my little reference library.
May 21, 2014
Megory Anderson’s book Sacred Dying is a happy blend of a spiritual, emotional and practical guide to preparing for our final journey: dying.
What does it mean to die “sacredly”? Anderson’s book highlights a variety of rituals we can employ for those who are dying, but it is in no way centric to any religious creed. Sacred Dying aims to remind us of our longstanding human tradition of creating personalized end of life rituals — a tradition that has become quite a hush-hush topic since World War II.
One of the most enlightening aspects of Sacred Dying is its understanding of the social history behind death and dying. Anderson’s knowledge speaks not only of where we have been on the topic, but of where we need to go to improve our end of life preparations today. “In the Middle Ages death was always a public event,” explains Anderson, “the entire community gathered at the deathbed.” Afterwards, she says, we reach the Victorian era’s notion of the “noble griever,” in which those surviving the loved one demonstrate “devotion and piety” in their mourning. And it was World War II that really steered our focus away from extensive engagements with the dying process. Though the battles were finished and the Germans defeated, a new enemy emerged in the minds of Americans: Death. The word and its connotations, now so associated with wartime violence, were the complete inverse of the 1950s Americana spirit. Thus, the dying process “became not only something fearful but also something invisible.”
[Continued]
Full SevenPonds review:
http://blog.sevenponds.com/lending-in...
What does it mean to die “sacredly”? Anderson’s book highlights a variety of rituals we can employ for those who are dying, but it is in no way centric to any religious creed. Sacred Dying aims to remind us of our longstanding human tradition of creating personalized end of life rituals — a tradition that has become quite a hush-hush topic since World War II.
One of the most enlightening aspects of Sacred Dying is its understanding of the social history behind death and dying. Anderson’s knowledge speaks not only of where we have been on the topic, but of where we need to go to improve our end of life preparations today. “In the Middle Ages death was always a public event,” explains Anderson, “the entire community gathered at the deathbed.” Afterwards, she says, we reach the Victorian era’s notion of the “noble griever,” in which those surviving the loved one demonstrate “devotion and piety” in their mourning. And it was World War II that really steered our focus away from extensive engagements with the dying process. Though the battles were finished and the Germans defeated, a new enemy emerged in the minds of Americans: Death. The word and its connotations, now so associated with wartime violence, were the complete inverse of the 1950s Americana spirit. Thus, the dying process “became not only something fearful but also something invisible.”
[Continued]
Full SevenPonds review:
http://blog.sevenponds.com/lending-in...
February 10, 2023
This is a beautiful work that describes the rituals and ceremonies that can take place in the time of dying and the time immediately after in order to bring comfort to the dying and to the bereaved. To demonstrate the importance of ritual there are tales of sacred dying that the author has experienced in her decades of care work and as a nun. In the U.S. we tend to rush through life and due to superstition or taboos and fear, we never take time to consider the significance of our departure from this life. You don't need religion to partake in these simple rituals or to understand their significance, but it will be a difficult book for those who have no connection to spirituality, it will make you confront your avoidance or your hopelessness. This work holds many truths, the biggest being that your departure from this world and how those you leave behind handle your departure in the face of your dying or on hearing of your death is all part of your story and theirs, even after you are gone. Understanding this fact is the beginning of understanding the way to a sacred death.
September 19, 2011
A great resource for attending to spiritual needs at the end of life. Offers ideas that embrace a person's religious upbringing, cultural background, and personal philosophy. Includes appendices of scriptures and sacred texts, poetry, readings, and prayers as well as a bibliography and recommended reading list.
October 11, 2012
Very interesting and informative book. Helpful to me since my mother is dying.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews