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Hope
What would you do for love?
Life should be simple. At least that’s what KJ believes as he begins his senior year of high school. Until, he meets Lorraine. They fall in love and after a tragic accident, they run. With two bus tickets not enough to escape their agony, the two teenagers are found by strangers who become their guardians in Philadelphia. Eventually finding a place to live in New York, they drift further apart through the passing years. Losing their family once again, KJ and Lorraine must find their way back home before losing each other — all that keeps them alive.
Would you leave everything behind?
Life should be simple. At least that’s what KJ believes as he begins his senior year of high school. Until, he meets Lorraine. They fall in love and after a tragic accident, they run. With two bus tickets not enough to escape their agony, the two teenagers are found by strangers who become their guardians in Philadelphia. Eventually finding a place to live in New York, they drift further apart through the passing years. Losing their family once again, KJ and Lorraine must find their way back home before losing each other — all that keeps them alive.
Would you leave everything behind?
329 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 28, 2010
2 people are currently reading
97 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
May 7, 2011
I won this book through Goodreads. To be honest, I’ve had it for a few weeks which is longer than I would normally take to read or review something. I got stuck though and haven’t been able to finish reading the book so it seems a little unfair to me to do a full review at this point. I do, however, want to point out the reason why I got stuck because I’m guessing I might not be the only person to experience this with this book.
In the very beginning of the book, the Atonal chapter, I am unable to reconcile the dialog and motives of the sisters with actual children of that age range. They’re supposed to be five and seven years old and, by any stretch of my imagination, I just can’t realistically see children that small behaving in that way.
Three pages into the book, you’re confronted with a 5-year-old acting in this manner:
The whole first part pretty much reads that way.
Several chapters later, I’m still trying to figure out what the hell that was all about. I get the anachronistic device thing going on between that chapter and the following ones. That’s not what’s confusing me; it’s that a child doesn’t normally have that fine a grasp on the usage of foul language or the maturity to devise/enact systematic punishment. The unbelievability of the characterization there is so jarring that I’m still trying to figure out if they’re special children or if this is set in a future world or alternate reality. Because of that, I can’t quite immerse myself in the rest of the storyline.
A lot of books with sketchy first chapters end up being otherwise cool so I’m hoping that’s the case here. I’m gonna give it a little while then come back, skip the first chapter, and hope that the second meeting of this book goes more smoothly.
In the very beginning of the book, the Atonal chapter, I am unable to reconcile the dialog and motives of the sisters with actual children of that age range. They’re supposed to be five and seven years old and, by any stretch of my imagination, I just can’t realistically see children that small behaving in that way.
Three pages into the book, you’re confronted with a 5-year-old acting in this manner:
With force, she walks up to me and fires into my chest. Pop! Pop! Pop! She goes back to her sister and yells, “Stop crying for that fuck! I swear... I swear to God, if you don’t stop crying, I’m gonna put the rest right in his fucking head. Stop it! Not for him. NEVER for him! Do you hear me? STOP!”
The whole first part pretty much reads that way.
Several chapters later, I’m still trying to figure out what the hell that was all about. I get the anachronistic device thing going on between that chapter and the following ones. That’s not what’s confusing me; it’s that a child doesn’t normally have that fine a grasp on the usage of foul language or the maturity to devise/enact systematic punishment. The unbelievability of the characterization there is so jarring that I’m still trying to figure out if they’re special children or if this is set in a future world or alternate reality. Because of that, I can’t quite immerse myself in the rest of the storyline.
A lot of books with sketchy first chapters end up being otherwise cool so I’m hoping that’s the case here. I’m gonna give it a little while then come back, skip the first chapter, and hope that the second meeting of this book goes more smoothly.
May 13, 2011
Not your regular boy-meets-girl-and-they-fall-in-love kind of novel. Wrapped around the experience of a group of very talented teen musicians, KJ and Lorraine meet and their considerable talent and their dreams of being the best musicians all combine to enter into this relationship that begins during their senior year. Both are from very unhappy homes and have major issues, yet in each other they seem to find completion. When a terrible accident occurs in Lorraine's home resulting in the loss of one of her hands and her father's death, she and KJ take their combined savings and they walk--out of the hospital where Lorraine was recovering, out of the lives of their friends and families, and become street people. They're not really sure from what they are running and they have no sure understanding of where they are going. They find a kind of circle of homeless persons who become a kind of family for them, and all this time they are carrying his saxophone and her trumpet. Neither plays their instrument for years, yet they never let them go. Lorraine is the first to recognize that the years have changed them and their relationship and they love. From the depths of her lowest despair, she begins the campaign to get KJ back performing. Most of all, not only are they losing one another but they have lost themselves. This is a very complicated novel and that is partly due to the writing style which is very confusing. I am a musician and I had a hard time figuring some of it out. That their lives were like a composition that just didn't harmonize, I got. But there were sections that were beautiful in their use of language but I found it very difficult to slot the action into any recognizable scenario in the novel. Yet at its core, this is a story full of KJ & Lorraine's confusion, sense of disconnectedness from life and everyone but each other, the battering of the spirit that comes with the cruelty of invisibility, while all the time having a sense of Providence about their ultimate purpose for living. At its core this novel stresses the reality of hope even when it is wrapped in the cloak of hopelessness. Not an easy read and certainly not light-weight. But there is much here that is instructive and which pulls at the heartstrings.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 14, 2011
I won a copy of this book from First Reads. Unfortunately, I was only able to get through the first 120 pages or so before giving it up. I found most of the writing to be almost unreadable, overly done and often confusing. In most new sections/chapters, it took a few paragraphs to figure out who was in the scene and what was happening, simply because of how convoluted the language was. Using this sparingly in a book can have a nice impact, but using it constantly makes for tiresome reading. This book was clearly self-published, and it’s a shame. I think it had potential. It simply could have used a strong editor.
The plot was interesting, at least as far as I got in the book. I'd like to read a full synopsis just to see how it all resolves itself, but I'm not willing to fight my way through the rest of the book to get it. I finally decided to stop reading it when I realized that it had started to be a chore to go back to it, that I didn't look forward to reading it at all. I rarely give up on reading books, but I just can’t see wasting my time on this one.
Also, in response to what another reviewer wrote about the first scene, it’s fairly clear that the author has never spent time around a 5-year old before. Unless the scene is somehow a metaphor for something else, it’s horribly inaccurate as to how a child of that age would talk and act. Again, I wish I knew how that played out in the end but I’m not going to read it just to find out.
The plot was interesting, at least as far as I got in the book. I'd like to read a full synopsis just to see how it all resolves itself, but I'm not willing to fight my way through the rest of the book to get it. I finally decided to stop reading it when I realized that it had started to be a chore to go back to it, that I didn't look forward to reading it at all. I rarely give up on reading books, but I just can’t see wasting my time on this one.
Also, in response to what another reviewer wrote about the first scene, it’s fairly clear that the author has never spent time around a 5-year old before. Unless the scene is somehow a metaphor for something else, it’s horribly inaccurate as to how a child of that age would talk and act. Again, I wish I knew how that played out in the end but I’m not going to read it just to find out.
July 29, 2011
Once in awhile I am called upon to review a book that is just really difficult to read and hard to understand. That is not to say that I don't enjoy the challenge. Because I read so many books I get really weary of books that are predictable and whose plots and characters could easily have been cut and pasted from other stories. That is certainly not the case here. And I hope I don't discourage anyone from reading this book. But I stick with my original statement that this is not an easy book to read.
The opening prologue-type chapter is still a mystery to me. Perhaps when I re-read this book--and I do plan to re-read this book in the hopes that more of its action and characters make sense for me--I will come to some kind of understanding why children had a gun and were shooting a person they obviously despised. How that fit into the greater story is still not know to me.
In any event, the characters of this story are just two--Lorraine and KJ. They met and fell in love during their senior year in high school and both were aspiring musicians with great talent and some fairly hefty aspirations. Even though they became emotionally involved, musically they were still competitors and that kept them working hard to best one another. Yet in the midst of the flush of their teen love and the upcoming graduation, a terrible accident occurred at Lorraine's home involving a terrible misunderstanding by her father, a man who had slowly but surely become unhinged because of his wife's terrible death due to a gang rape. He had become an alcoholic and in the midst of his drunken haze, he accidentally severed Lorraine's hand from her arm, attacked KJ, and in trying to save KJ, Lorraine sank the cleaver into her father's body, killing him. Believing her life had be changed for the worse, Lorraine left the hospital where she was recovering and not wanting to be without her, KJ left with her. Pooling their limited resources they set out for an unknown destination, and ended up living on the streets for years together.
There is the sense of a Greek tragedy about this story--it just didn't ever seem to get any better. KJ and Lorraine stayed together and managed to survive together, but there were no demonstrations of their love. All their energy went toward just finding a place to sleep, staying warm in winter, and eating. Yet through all those years Lorraine held on to her trumpet, and KJ lugged his sax case everywhere. They didn't use drugs although Lorraine's arm never really healed as it should have and they had to find medical care through free clinics. It was only after many years that she began to realize that finally they had begun growing apart and if she really loved KJ, she needed to set him on a different path and that involved getting him back playing his sax. This she did and with the money from his first gig, she sent him away.
This story is, at its core, a tale of hope wrapped in a blanket of hopelessness. It is about survival--but at the cost that KJ and Lorraine almost lost themselves as well as any sense of place in the world. Yet in some strange and wonderful way, their love survived. And their music, while it lay buried for years, was always there, and ultimately KJ had to admit that his love affair with his music had only become secondary when he fell in love with Lorraine. That they played for and to each other become more and more evident, even when they finally split up.
This is not a HEA book but there is a very positive ending to the story. It almost felt as if it was not really an ending but a beginning for each of them, still knowing that somewhere they were playing their music and they were loving each other. The writing style lends itself to that sense that there is always something deeper going on, but it is not a style that is really easy to read. And I still haven't figured out the significance of those prologue-type introductions to each section. It is a disharmonious story that pushes and pulls and jars the expectations of the reader. One is constantly surprised at what happens and where the action of the story will point. One the one hand I was ill at ease because parts of the book remained a mystery to me. On the other hand I was deeply moved by the experience of these two gifted people. Undelying all the human elements of the story was that sense of Fate or Faith--a Providential plan of some sort. Lorraine believed that while KJ never really worked that out.
This is a challenge novel but worth the effort. It is not going to be a book that will lend itself to snuggly afghans and hearth and wingback chairs. It will be a book some will read with the determination to get the story and to ferret out its deeper meanings. It is an emotional and intellectual exercise that must be undertaken not by the faint of heart, but by a reader who wants a literary prime rib rather than a marshmallow.
I give this novel a rating of 3.75 out of 5.
This review was originally posted on Book Binge by Judith.
The opening prologue-type chapter is still a mystery to me. Perhaps when I re-read this book--and I do plan to re-read this book in the hopes that more of its action and characters make sense for me--I will come to some kind of understanding why children had a gun and were shooting a person they obviously despised. How that fit into the greater story is still not know to me.
In any event, the characters of this story are just two--Lorraine and KJ. They met and fell in love during their senior year in high school and both were aspiring musicians with great talent and some fairly hefty aspirations. Even though they became emotionally involved, musically they were still competitors and that kept them working hard to best one another. Yet in the midst of the flush of their teen love and the upcoming graduation, a terrible accident occurred at Lorraine's home involving a terrible misunderstanding by her father, a man who had slowly but surely become unhinged because of his wife's terrible death due to a gang rape. He had become an alcoholic and in the midst of his drunken haze, he accidentally severed Lorraine's hand from her arm, attacked KJ, and in trying to save KJ, Lorraine sank the cleaver into her father's body, killing him. Believing her life had be changed for the worse, Lorraine left the hospital where she was recovering and not wanting to be without her, KJ left with her. Pooling their limited resources they set out for an unknown destination, and ended up living on the streets for years together.
There is the sense of a Greek tragedy about this story--it just didn't ever seem to get any better. KJ and Lorraine stayed together and managed to survive together, but there were no demonstrations of their love. All their energy went toward just finding a place to sleep, staying warm in winter, and eating. Yet through all those years Lorraine held on to her trumpet, and KJ lugged his sax case everywhere. They didn't use drugs although Lorraine's arm never really healed as it should have and they had to find medical care through free clinics. It was only after many years that she began to realize that finally they had begun growing apart and if she really loved KJ, she needed to set him on a different path and that involved getting him back playing his sax. This she did and with the money from his first gig, she sent him away.
This story is, at its core, a tale of hope wrapped in a blanket of hopelessness. It is about survival--but at the cost that KJ and Lorraine almost lost themselves as well as any sense of place in the world. Yet in some strange and wonderful way, their love survived. And their music, while it lay buried for years, was always there, and ultimately KJ had to admit that his love affair with his music had only become secondary when he fell in love with Lorraine. That they played for and to each other become more and more evident, even when they finally split up.
This is not a HEA book but there is a very positive ending to the story. It almost felt as if it was not really an ending but a beginning for each of them, still knowing that somewhere they were playing their music and they were loving each other. The writing style lends itself to that sense that there is always something deeper going on, but it is not a style that is really easy to read. And I still haven't figured out the significance of those prologue-type introductions to each section. It is a disharmonious story that pushes and pulls and jars the expectations of the reader. One is constantly surprised at what happens and where the action of the story will point. One the one hand I was ill at ease because parts of the book remained a mystery to me. On the other hand I was deeply moved by the experience of these two gifted people. Undelying all the human elements of the story was that sense of Fate or Faith--a Providential plan of some sort. Lorraine believed that while KJ never really worked that out.
This is a challenge novel but worth the effort. It is not going to be a book that will lend itself to snuggly afghans and hearth and wingback chairs. It will be a book some will read with the determination to get the story and to ferret out its deeper meanings. It is an emotional and intellectual exercise that must be undertaken not by the faint of heart, but by a reader who wants a literary prime rib rather than a marshmallow.
I give this novel a rating of 3.75 out of 5.
This review was originally posted on Book Binge by Judith.
January 11, 2013
I have to agree with what the other reviewers said about the "Atonal" chapter. I personally couldn't imagine how a five-year old girl could use such vibrant language nor could I understand how she could feel such burning hatred for the man she and her sister were trying to shoot. I was even more so bewildered when it turned out the sister who was egging the other sister on was the youngest one. In the back of my mind, I could conjure up some crazy scenarios such as the guy (who is twenty-six years old, by the way), could have been their guardian. He is too friendly towards the seven-year old sister which she mistakenly takes them for as feelings (which would not happen to a normal seven-year old because one would not be mature enough for something like that at that age). He turns out to be a creeper. He tries to seduce the five-year old and that pisses her older sister off, so they somehow manage to take him down even though he probably weighs three times their weight combined. I could somehow imagine that happening as repulsive as that scenario would be, but it would be more believable if the girls were older. A lot older.
Still, I have to admit I was intrigued after I read that chapter. I recalled the synopsis I read before, but the first chapter sounded nothing like it. I figured there were going to be two sets of characters the author would focus on, and they would somehow connect in the end. I have to be honest. I will never know how that first chapter will fit because I had to stop at page 62. I couldn't keep reading for two reasons: I had to force myself to read - it felt like a chore and I had other books I had to read for classes anyway. I can't say I've completely given up on this book though. Rarely do I ever leave a book (or at least a novel) incomplete because I feel like I might as well since I've invested time reading it anyway. Hopefully I'll be able to update this review with further thoughts when I manage to complete the book later.
I have won a copy of this book from Goodreads. Thank you for the opportunity.
Still, I have to admit I was intrigued after I read that chapter. I recalled the synopsis I read before, but the first chapter sounded nothing like it. I figured there were going to be two sets of characters the author would focus on, and they would somehow connect in the end. I have to be honest. I will never know how that first chapter will fit because I had to stop at page 62. I couldn't keep reading for two reasons: I had to force myself to read - it felt like a chore and I had other books I had to read for classes anyway. I can't say I've completely given up on this book though. Rarely do I ever leave a book (or at least a novel) incomplete because I feel like I might as well since I've invested time reading it anyway. Hopefully I'll be able to update this review with further thoughts when I manage to complete the book later.
I have won a copy of this book from Goodreads. Thank you for the opportunity.
May 20, 2011
Hope[less] is a coming-of-age tale about two kids who meet in band class, thinking they have a whole world of possibilities ahead of them. KJ plays the saxophone and Lorraine plays the trumpet. They are both very good at what they do. But when the weight of their unhappy families get in the way, tragedy strikes for the both of them in a single unfortunate event. Once that is over, they don't know where to turn, so they just keep on going, exploring the idea of faith vs. fate. They go from homeless kids in Philadelphia to homeless young adults in New York. But a push in the right direction helps to get their lives back on track and back home to some degree.
When I started reading this book, I was sure I would be recommending it to all of the band geeks out there (including myself). There's a lot of musical references and anyone who's ever played in a band knows about the competitiveness and friendship that a place like the band room offers. And a good part of the story focuses on that. But once the kids give up their instruments and sort of just float through life with no ambitions and nothing to do, the musical influence on the story seems to disappear. The band director in the story seems like a cool guy, but completely unbelievable because kids that age wouldn't keep quiet about the constant swearing or treatment, no matter how much they admired him.
The other issue I had with this story is that it switches to different points of view a lot, even though KJ and Lorraine are supposed to be the focus of the story. Having Slim's story in first person makes it seem like he's the main character, but in the end he's still only left with a few pages that don't add much to the story. Overall, the story was very interesting, but it was a lot of work trying to read through the unnecessary parts to get to the heart of the story.
*Reviewer received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads
When I started reading this book, I was sure I would be recommending it to all of the band geeks out there (including myself). There's a lot of musical references and anyone who's ever played in a band knows about the competitiveness and friendship that a place like the band room offers. And a good part of the story focuses on that. But once the kids give up their instruments and sort of just float through life with no ambitions and nothing to do, the musical influence on the story seems to disappear. The band director in the story seems like a cool guy, but completely unbelievable because kids that age wouldn't keep quiet about the constant swearing or treatment, no matter how much they admired him.
The other issue I had with this story is that it switches to different points of view a lot, even though KJ and Lorraine are supposed to be the focus of the story. Having Slim's story in first person makes it seem like he's the main character, but in the end he's still only left with a few pages that don't add much to the story. Overall, the story was very interesting, but it was a lot of work trying to read through the unnecessary parts to get to the heart of the story.
*Reviewer received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads
July 28, 2011
This is a sad and strange book. It is about Lorraine and KJ. They meet in band in high school and go through a lot together from killing her father in self-defense to being homeless. It ends with them both playing their instruments independent of each other but for each other. I don't know if I would recommend it or not.
July 4, 2011
I won this book on a Goodreads First-Reads Giveaway. Wow - the f word 6 times in the first 3 pages - and two young girls shooting a man in the chest. Needless to say - that was enough for me and I won't be continuing with this book.
May 3, 2013
This sounds like a wonderful book! Looks like a romance but not your typical romance. More of a struggle towards love. Can't wait to read this book!
Want to read
April 9, 2011I just won this book on Goodreads! I can't wait to read it! Thank you.
Want to read
April 4, 2011I won a free copy of this book through the Goodreads first-reads program. I can't wait to read this book. Thank you.
July 8, 2011
I won this book is a giveaway.
I had a lot of trouble getting into this book, and in the end I just couldn't bring myself to finish it.
I had a lot of trouble getting into this book, and in the end I just couldn't bring myself to finish it.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews