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Sotah
While living in Jerusalem, a young and striking woman is accused of adultery and banished from the country, and must find a way to reclaim her life in America.
493 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1992
136 people are currently reading
1527 people want to read
About the author
Naomi Ragen
18 books580 followersNaomi Ragen is an American-born novelist and playwright who has lived in Jerusalem since 1971. She has published seven internationally best-selling novels, and is the author of a hit play. Naomi also publishes a regular column that deals with Jewish subjects, especially Israel.
http://us.macmillan.com/author/naomir...
http://us.macmillan.com/author/naomir...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 292 reviews
June 3, 2008
I admit that this is an absorbing story, but it's a slanderous portrayal of Ultra-Orthodox Jews. I'm a Hasidic Jew who's living the life, and I can tell you that dating couples are allowed to fall in love, even though they're set up by matchmakers. Husbands are not totally clueless about how women think and regularly talk Torah with their wives. And most of all, the heroine's deportation to America simply would not happen. Naomi Ragen may be a talented writer, but I'll never read anything of hers again. She very obviously has an anti-Chareidi agenda to push.
March 20, 2015
A sotah is a woman accused of adultery and this story is about three sisters in the haredi world of Israel as they are matched off in marriage. The middle daughter is the main character and the one "sotah" refers to. I'm interested enough in the subject matter (the haredi world; not adultery) that I was willing to overlook the choppy writing and lack of depth in the characters. But the ending was so ridiculous and so facile that I actually felt angry at the book for not being better. The characters were cardboard and one-dimensional to the point of ridiculousness. I so wanted to love this book....
September 9, 2008
Loved this book. Another great suggestion from Kristin. This was a very interesting glimpse into the ultra-orthodox world of the Haredim in modern Jerusalem. I found their lifestyle both fascinating and horrible at the same time. Arranged marriages are still common and accepted and the inequality between the sexes is appaling; and yet, there was something that drew you in to that lifestyle and its quiet complacency (especially when viewed from the eyes of Dina as she arrived in New York). The characaters in this book were very real and human and I felt sympathy for both sides of the story...
January 6, 2010
Well. Besides the obvious issues I have with the subject (that of what in our Western world feels like oppression & degradation of women) I thought this was an "okay" read. I did get tired of what I perceived as whining and wringing-of-the-hands behaviour, but again that goes back to the culture which I don't know or completely understand. (and by the way, for the record, I beleive that Western women are oppressed and degraded as well in our own culture too).
Michelle mentioned feeling closer to God after reading this book - I don't share that same feeling, but I am also a religion skeptic in that I share the same feelings as Karl Marx who said "Religion is an opiate for the masses". Without delving too deep into that subject, I believe/recognize that in some cultures, the religious aspect is a part of their whole community, tribe, etc - whereas in other cultures, religion is used as a "card" - as in, "I'm a Christian !" , which just leads me to the whole argument of well, if you're Christian, then why do you hate other religions? Or other people? Or kill them to make them like you?
I digress.
I was happy in the ending of this book - albeit I thought it was all wrapped up too neatly, much like an exploded Harlequin romance. I did learn a lot, and I did reference my bible a lot to pick up even more, but I found the book a bit.... tiring. However, it did result in one of my favorites lines ever read: "Fish is my favorite color !! "
Michelle mentioned feeling closer to God after reading this book - I don't share that same feeling, but I am also a religion skeptic in that I share the same feelings as Karl Marx who said "Religion is an opiate for the masses". Without delving too deep into that subject, I believe/recognize that in some cultures, the religious aspect is a part of their whole community, tribe, etc - whereas in other cultures, religion is used as a "card" - as in, "I'm a Christian !" , which just leads me to the whole argument of well, if you're Christian, then why do you hate other religions? Or other people? Or kill them to make them like you?
I digress.
I was happy in the ending of this book - albeit I thought it was all wrapped up too neatly, much like an exploded Harlequin romance. I did learn a lot, and I did reference my bible a lot to pick up even more, but I found the book a bit.... tiring. However, it did result in one of my favorites lines ever read: "Fish is my favorite color !! "
December 21, 2023
An unforgettable journey into the world of the haredim. The rich Jewish soul, the beliefs and the essence of the faith are exalted in the character of Dina, while the doubts, fears and contradictions are not hidden. I rediscovered so many of the things I saw in Bnei Brak, I smiled at the humour and cried too, so present and palpable is the drama. A very dense, shimmering, well-written novel. Some of the characters seem to have escaped from the world of Isaac Bashevis Singer, but no one is a caricature; this is not a Manichean novel. The fate of haredi women is very honestly portrayed and makes you think. Finally, Naomi Ragen excels: those who are unfamiliar with religious circles, and even those who thought they were, will learn a lot without ever getting bored. She is adept at conveying theoretical concepts without being overly erudite. Like the Singer brothers, she is a storyteller who knows exactly what she is describing.
September 22, 2008
I loved this book. I was amazed at the differences in culture. I liked when she was in NY and the lady she was working for cut the cord off of the TV. I almost did that when my children were younger. I learned about forgiveness and not judging people and not letting other's opinions make your decisions for you.
January 18, 2011
A very interesting and educational look into the Jewish culture. The story telling was fantastic and I finished with a feeling of enlightenment. I love books that remind me that other worlds exist outside my little sphere.
September 10, 2023
Book Review
"Sotah"
5/5 stars
Naomi Ragen
"Required reading for geirim/Ba'alei teshuvah"
*******
This book takes 8 hours to read, and it could be probably finished over the course of a single Shabbat (which I did).
There is information in this book to be learned, but a couple of qualifications have to be made:
1. It was published 30 years ago, and things may have changed. (That is 1.5 generations in Haredi time.)
On the one hand, people have been observing at least for several decades that it is not possible for them to have a sustained population that consists of people that will not work and don't know their multiplication tables up to 12.
On the other hand, that is just what is happening even this very day-- and the breaking point always be in the future.
2. It takes place mostly in Israel, and even though Haredim are noisome in the United States, I have heard that they are positively off the wall in Israel-- and these Israeli cases might be far outside of the range of possibilities Stateside. (Modesty patrols? Is this book set in Israel or Iran?)
********
I think the audience of this book that can take the most out of it are the ones that I mentioned before, Ba'alei teshuvah and geirim.
When people decide they want to convert, a lot of times they decide to go with a community that "looks" the most authentic and is furthest from their everyday experience. (Been there, done that.)
And part of this fallacy is idealizing blackhat/Haredi communities and mapping onto them a reality that exists nowhere except in your head. (Been there, done that.)
And almost always, this ends in tears--with some people leaving Judaism entirely and others moving into more (humane/Modern/"Open") versions of Orthodoxy. (Been there, done that.)
If such a person reads this book, they will find a very harsh, intolerant, judgmental community that is not made for outsiders. And it might save them a lot of tears in real time. (Wish I had done that.)
And if somebody still wants to move to one of those communities in spite of all that, they might likely be mentally ill. (Bernice Weiss, "Choosing To Be Chosen" has written about conversion, and more often than not people who convert are trying to sort out some trauma from earlier in life.)
The conceptual space is very familiar to me (after living here for years, but I don't think it will be familiar to the uninitiated): Men avoid work and study religious texts and women get pimped out to go to work and bear all of the children (all 15 of them) and manage the house. But, the most desired men are the ones who are scholars, and there is self-selection and self-organization based on family lineage and scholarship.
*******
I will let the book tell its story in some of its own quotes.
(p.148): "It was very hot, the kind of day that Haredi men dreaded. For, unlike most people, their wardrobe made no concession to changes in weather. The dress code, established in European villages 200 years ago, had been transplanted with almost ludicrous accuracy, ignoring geographic and climactic realities."
(p.141: "Were all of them so thick that you needed an industrial strength drill to bore a few ideas into their heads.....all day he learned. All day. And yet what did he know?"
(p. 92): "Two things are harder than parting the Red Sea- - finding a mate and earning a living. So being a matchmaker, which involved both, was a few hundred times more difficult."
(ibid): "While marriages did occasionally take place between Hasidim and Mitnagdim, they were considered intermarriages and usually mourned by both groups..... Or they were, very rarely, the result of a family of Mitnagdim losing its mind and consciously deciding to join some Hasidic sect or another. Rarely, however, did it happen that Hasidim became Mitnagdim. In Reb Garfinkel's experience, once a Hasid lost his faith in his Rebbe, he usually lost faith in Gd too and went over to the secularists altogether."
(p.90): "Although the bitter wars between the Hasidim and Mitnagdim had ended over 200 years ago, and each group had grudgingly accepted the other is faithful soldiers in Gd's increasingly beleaguered army against such real enemies as Conservative and especially the unconscionable and objectionable Reform Jews, no love was lost between them."
(p.48): "A man wasn't allowed to marry a woman with the same first name as his mother."
(p.93): "It was considered perfectly politic for the daughter of the rabbi of Gur to marry the son of the Rebbe of Belz, in the same way that the warring kings of France and England often mated their offspring."
(p.175): "In the name of purifying the community's morals, they [Modesty Police] were not above putting you in the hospital. Or worse. Haredim didn't believe in going to the Zionist police force, didn't want the secularists involved in their private lives."
(p.173): "He says that a married couple can do anything they want, except that the man shouldn't kiss 'that place'/"we're taught not to touch anything. A man should kiss his wife's face and that's it. Also, there's only one position that's acceptable, and the room has to be totally black. It's also preferable to wait until midnight, when you won't be distracted by voices in the street which might lead a man to think of other women."
(p. 96): "They were suspicious people, the type that hired private detectives to check on family trees 10 generations back. The kind that wanted medical reports and would ask for the maximum financially."
Verdict: Worth the time.
Other books to read on this topic:
Fiction....
1. "Hush," Eishes Chayil
2. "A Seat At The Table," Joshua Halberstam
Non fiction.....
3. "Unorthodox," Deborah Feldman
4. "Brazen," Julia Haart
5. "All Who Go Do Not Return," Shulem Deen
New Vocabulary:
inveigle
Shayna
ben Zikkunim
tenaim
tachlis
lukshen
menuval
tuchteral
"Sotah"
5/5 stars
Naomi Ragen
"Required reading for geirim/Ba'alei teshuvah"
*******
This book takes 8 hours to read, and it could be probably finished over the course of a single Shabbat (which I did).
There is information in this book to be learned, but a couple of qualifications have to be made:
1. It was published 30 years ago, and things may have changed. (That is 1.5 generations in Haredi time.)
On the one hand, people have been observing at least for several decades that it is not possible for them to have a sustained population that consists of people that will not work and don't know their multiplication tables up to 12.
On the other hand, that is just what is happening even this very day-- and the breaking point always be in the future.
2. It takes place mostly in Israel, and even though Haredim are noisome in the United States, I have heard that they are positively off the wall in Israel-- and these Israeli cases might be far outside of the range of possibilities Stateside. (Modesty patrols? Is this book set in Israel or Iran?)
********
I think the audience of this book that can take the most out of it are the ones that I mentioned before, Ba'alei teshuvah and geirim.
When people decide they want to convert, a lot of times they decide to go with a community that "looks" the most authentic and is furthest from their everyday experience. (Been there, done that.)
And part of this fallacy is idealizing blackhat/Haredi communities and mapping onto them a reality that exists nowhere except in your head. (Been there, done that.)
And almost always, this ends in tears--with some people leaving Judaism entirely and others moving into more (humane/Modern/"Open") versions of Orthodoxy. (Been there, done that.)
If such a person reads this book, they will find a very harsh, intolerant, judgmental community that is not made for outsiders. And it might save them a lot of tears in real time. (Wish I had done that.)
And if somebody still wants to move to one of those communities in spite of all that, they might likely be mentally ill. (Bernice Weiss, "Choosing To Be Chosen" has written about conversion, and more often than not people who convert are trying to sort out some trauma from earlier in life.)
The conceptual space is very familiar to me (after living here for years, but I don't think it will be familiar to the uninitiated): Men avoid work and study religious texts and women get pimped out to go to work and bear all of the children (all 15 of them) and manage the house. But, the most desired men are the ones who are scholars, and there is self-selection and self-organization based on family lineage and scholarship.
*******
I will let the book tell its story in some of its own quotes.
(p.148): "It was very hot, the kind of day that Haredi men dreaded. For, unlike most people, their wardrobe made no concession to changes in weather. The dress code, established in European villages 200 years ago, had been transplanted with almost ludicrous accuracy, ignoring geographic and climactic realities."
(p.141: "Were all of them so thick that you needed an industrial strength drill to bore a few ideas into their heads.....all day he learned. All day. And yet what did he know?"
(p. 92): "Two things are harder than parting the Red Sea- - finding a mate and earning a living. So being a matchmaker, which involved both, was a few hundred times more difficult."
(ibid): "While marriages did occasionally take place between Hasidim and Mitnagdim, they were considered intermarriages and usually mourned by both groups..... Or they were, very rarely, the result of a family of Mitnagdim losing its mind and consciously deciding to join some Hasidic sect or another. Rarely, however, did it happen that Hasidim became Mitnagdim. In Reb Garfinkel's experience, once a Hasid lost his faith in his Rebbe, he usually lost faith in Gd too and went over to the secularists altogether."
(p.90): "Although the bitter wars between the Hasidim and Mitnagdim had ended over 200 years ago, and each group had grudgingly accepted the other is faithful soldiers in Gd's increasingly beleaguered army against such real enemies as Conservative and especially the unconscionable and objectionable Reform Jews, no love was lost between them."
(p.48): "A man wasn't allowed to marry a woman with the same first name as his mother."
(p.93): "It was considered perfectly politic for the daughter of the rabbi of Gur to marry the son of the Rebbe of Belz, in the same way that the warring kings of France and England often mated their offspring."
(p.175): "In the name of purifying the community's morals, they [Modesty Police] were not above putting you in the hospital. Or worse. Haredim didn't believe in going to the Zionist police force, didn't want the secularists involved in their private lives."
(p.173): "He says that a married couple can do anything they want, except that the man shouldn't kiss 'that place'/"we're taught not to touch anything. A man should kiss his wife's face and that's it. Also, there's only one position that's acceptable, and the room has to be totally black. It's also preferable to wait until midnight, when you won't be distracted by voices in the street which might lead a man to think of other women."
(p. 96): "They were suspicious people, the type that hired private detectives to check on family trees 10 generations back. The kind that wanted medical reports and would ask for the maximum financially."
Verdict: Worth the time.
Other books to read on this topic:
Fiction....
1. "Hush," Eishes Chayil
2. "A Seat At The Table," Joshua Halberstam
Non fiction.....
3. "Unorthodox," Deborah Feldman
4. "Brazen," Julia Haart
5. "All Who Go Do Not Return," Shulem Deen
New Vocabulary:
inveigle
Shayna
ben Zikkunim
tenaim
tachlis
lukshen
menuval
tuchteral
November 22, 2022
I was consumed with the story all the while knowing where the author was taking us. The author presents a specific portrayal of Haradi Jews in Jerusalem and their lives. Although I was extremely captivated with the book it appears to be that the author’s ultimate goal is to show the reader that both religious and non-religious can learn from each other and find a happy medium. I am not an expert on Haradi Jews so I cannot comment on the book’s accuracy. But would recommend for an easy read.
December 6, 2014
I very much enjoyed this story. The characters, though at times simple, caught my attention and I often found myself wondering what would happen in the book as I went about my day. But one must remember that this is a story. Elements are created. Truths are exaggerated. This is a work of fiction by someone who does not live this way. I feel that the author was not using orthodox Judaism to demean the belief system, but to make a point about religion in general concerning gopsel versus personal doctrine. You find this problem in every religion, a small cluster of people who apply their personal beliefs as gospel and lose the fundamental principle behind what they are trying to acheive. An example of this would be the Morals Police, not an actual issue in Judaism (from what personal study has gleaned). I see why people of this faith do not like the portrayal of thier religion in this book, because so many will take all of these dramatic story elements as pure fact. I know that I would have the same concern if this book focused on my religion. I think the purpose of this story is not to expose the inadequacies or flaws of the religion, but to reflect on our personal reasonings and fundamental beliefs in an honest light and determine for ourselves its truth, validity, and purpose in our lives. Does it have value? Or is it a creation of social or economic gain parading as spiritual morality? I read this book and I discover a deep respect of this religion and its dedication to education, personal study, family, tradition and modesty.
January 24, 2010
Dina grapples with the constraints of her haredi world, an ultra Orthodox sect of Judaism. The internal tug of war pits her religious and family values and culture against deep yearnings to know more of the world. Denied a marriage for love, she agrees to marry the Judah, a wood worker of repute, and a gentle giant who is smitten with her. She honestly believes she will come to love this man, seeing something deeper in him than mere vision can reveal. The demands of the marriage and family tragedy lead her to make choices in which she risks her future, her family, and her happiness.
Dina's world is not my world. Yet, the big questions that engage her mind and her heart are not unique to the Orthodox world. I thought of Lois Lowry's The Giver and similar dystopic stories in which a society tries to control for the ills of the larger society. How deep into the culture is it necessary to go? What do we lose? What do we gain? Where are the lines drawn? Is it possible to compromise? These questions are not limited to the Orthodox community or to the pages of fiction.
The depth of detail about the Orthodox community is significant and it seems a journey to reach the point of the crisis that we have been anticipating from page one. Still, the characters are well drawn and the read is satisfying.
Dina's world is not my world. Yet, the big questions that engage her mind and her heart are not unique to the Orthodox world. I thought of Lois Lowry's The Giver and similar dystopic stories in which a society tries to control for the ills of the larger society. How deep into the culture is it necessary to go? What do we lose? What do we gain? Where are the lines drawn? Is it possible to compromise? These questions are not limited to the Orthodox community or to the pages of fiction.
The depth of detail about the Orthodox community is significant and it seems a journey to reach the point of the crisis that we have been anticipating from page one. Still, the characters are well drawn and the read is satisfying.
May 28, 2010
Fascinating look into the lives of an ultra-Orthodox Jewish family and community in Jerusalem. I loved how Ragen showed the beauty of their beliefs, as well as the problems (which problems seemed to be caused mainly by those who didn't fully understand their own beliefs). Fabulous character building. Dina drove me crazy because she was an accurately portrayed teenager. There were so many characters that I loved, even when they were being stupid or annoying. I did do something with this book that I almost never do--I peeked ahead to end. When Noach wanted Dina to go to Tel Aviv, I had to look ahead and see if she was really as much of an idiot as it looked like she was going to be. All in all, I found Dina's spiritual journey very interesting--it certainly kept me turning the pages to the [almost too perfect:] end.
March 21, 2024
Un roman important. Une histoire des femmes, religieuses mais pas que. Une plongées dans un univers de traditions juives, dans la création de famille, dans leur séparation aussi. La réflexion pousse à la découverte de soi et des autres.
L’autrice mène ce roman avec beaucoup de brio : haletant, juste et nuancé. L’écriture baisse légèrement dans la deuxième partie et j’aurais aimé que certains chapitres s’attardent plus mais la fin est splendide ! J’ai terminé ce livre les larmes aux yeux, bouleversée et remplie. Je recommande très chaleureusement :)
L’autrice mène ce roman avec beaucoup de brio : haletant, juste et nuancé. L’écriture baisse légèrement dans la deuxième partie et j’aurais aimé que certains chapitres s’attardent plus mais la fin est splendide ! J’ai terminé ce livre les larmes aux yeux, bouleversée et remplie. Je recommande très chaleureusement :)
January 27, 2011
As I continue to read books about Orthodox Judiasm it would seem that I would become more accustomed to traditions, ceremonies, customs, etc... I do not. I continue to be startled by cruel behaviors. Adultry is never to be tampered with in any religion but I was glad to see Diana battle for her rights and end up with what seems an acceptable life for her. I was saddend by the outcome of Joan's friendship in Diana's life but as it was pointed out it was probably for the best.
December 20, 2008
I enjoyed the view of haredi life in this book, but the writing felt shallow and the plot overly-contrived to fit a too-sunshiney view of Orthodox Judaism. Finishing Sotah was like leaving a Sunday School class where a very well-meaning teacher came up with an illustrative story that was equal parts "lesson" and "warm fuzzy" but did not really grasp the meaning that it intended.
January 25, 2018
Awesome book! Deals with Hasidic Jewish girl in Jerusalem, and talks a lot about places I've been to: Meah Shearim neighborhood and other places around Jerusalem. Love story about girl in arranged marriage who is intrigued with neighbor man who is determined to win her away from her husband. A sotah is an adultress. It was a moving story and the ending was so emotional and good.
October 21, 2015
This book was interesting, and enjoyable. My only complaint was that the main character was kind of exhausting. One moment she'd be as happy as a clam, the next her thoughts ravaged with guilt. It made for an interesting story, but it was a constant back and forth that was a little tiresome.
February 26, 2010
Though the window into the world of this sect of Judaism was interesting, I though the characters where shallowly drawn, and the ending just silly & bodice ripper-like.
August 25, 2013
Jewish family/customs, etc. A very good read. A great insight into Jewish society and culture.
December 14, 2018
Excellent book
I am not a big reader but read this in 3 days. It was a fantastic book - I really enjoyed the author’s style and descriptions, especially after having recently visited Mea Shearim.
I am not a big reader but read this in 3 days. It was a fantastic book - I really enjoyed the author’s style and descriptions, especially after having recently visited Mea Shearim.
Read
March 23, 2010This one is about an Orthodox Jewish woman living in Jerusalem struggling to make sense of the world she lives in. She struggles to make the reality of the world fit the fantasy image she’s always been told the world is. The girl in this book is told to deny herself of everything she’s ever felt or wanted out of life. She’s told to form herself into a perfect model of everyone else and her individuality is not encouraged. She is told that this is the only way to show her devotion to her religion and keep away from temptation because that is the way God intends it to be. She learns in the end, however, that it is not God or her religion that says these things but a group of foolish people who decide to interpret God’s word this way. She is accused of adultery and sent away to rectify her perceived wrong doings. It is here in the Western world that she finally learns the truth about her religion and is able to demand things for herself.
The story was good and an easy read. You learn all about traditional Jewish culture, a complex and often bizarre place that I had no idea about. While I respect different culture and found it fascinating to learn about, I was often angry about the limitations and expectations placed on these Orthodox women. They are made to work very hard (much like women of a century ago, this seems strange to me in the modern world we live in) to support their very large families (they give birth to as many as 15 children) and live in poverty while their husbands study the Talmud for their place in heaven (in some cases the only work the men do, this is also strange to me). The women of this region live shorter, harder more brutal lives than their husbands. In the end of the book, the author talks of how she attended a woman’s conference and met women from all around the world. These women came from different backgrounds and she found the fundamental religious women of different religions had more in common than modern women of the same faiths. These women also discussed how they share a common theme of men in their culture attempting to control and limit their lives and justifying it with religion (a religion that to these women says nothing about control or dominance of women but advocates equality and love).
Overall, I liked the themes in this book and the relationships of the women to one another. We see mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, lovers, husbands, traditional, non traditional, western and non western relationships all mixed together and relying on one another to make it through the rough times in life. The trials and disappointments these women face, while completely different at times, are also universal concerns about one’s role in life and the place of religion, duty and love in that life. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a good read about a woman from another culture striving to find herself.
The story was good and an easy read. You learn all about traditional Jewish culture, a complex and often bizarre place that I had no idea about. While I respect different culture and found it fascinating to learn about, I was often angry about the limitations and expectations placed on these Orthodox women. They are made to work very hard (much like women of a century ago, this seems strange to me in the modern world we live in) to support their very large families (they give birth to as many as 15 children) and live in poverty while their husbands study the Talmud for their place in heaven (in some cases the only work the men do, this is also strange to me). The women of this region live shorter, harder more brutal lives than their husbands. In the end of the book, the author talks of how she attended a woman’s conference and met women from all around the world. These women came from different backgrounds and she found the fundamental religious women of different religions had more in common than modern women of the same faiths. These women also discussed how they share a common theme of men in their culture attempting to control and limit their lives and justifying it with religion (a religion that to these women says nothing about control or dominance of women but advocates equality and love).
Overall, I liked the themes in this book and the relationships of the women to one another. We see mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, lovers, husbands, traditional, non traditional, western and non western relationships all mixed together and relying on one another to make it through the rough times in life. The trials and disappointments these women face, while completely different at times, are also universal concerns about one’s role in life and the place of religion, duty and love in that life. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a good read about a woman from another culture striving to find herself.
December 30, 2018
Consider this a 4.5
From the book jacket:
"Sotah is the story of beautiful, fragile Dina Reich, a young woman in Jerusalem's ultra religious haredi enclave who is accused of the community's most unforgivable sin: adultery. Although Dina was brought up to be an obedient daughter and dutiful wife, she has yearnings -- for knowledge, for romance, for excitement -- that she knows her life will never satisfy. In her willing, but arranged marriage, Dina finds these deeply repressed passions increasingly difficult to ignore, Even her loving and generous husband cannot completely satisfy her, and eventually, her frustration find a dangerous outlet in a sudden and intense obsession with a married man. But when the flirtation is exposed by the community's self-appointed vigilantes, Dina is separated from her husband and child and forced to leave the country. In New York City, the freedom and the shallowness of modern American life appall Dina, but they also inspire her to fashion her own tradition, one that will enable her to confront her accusers and reclaim her life."
I greatly enjoyed this novel. While I did find the beginning a bit long winded in its description of the haredi traditions and laws, it was still fairly interesting and probably necessary for an understanding of the culture that drove Dina to become who she became in the novel.
I was fascinated with Ragen's treatment of the theme of the oppression of women. The world judges that women, particularly women who are members of a religious group, are oppressed by the men and/or the religious teachings, but are they? This question, and to me, the answer to this argument is illustrated by this quote from near the end of the novel:
"All her life [Dina:] had accepted the world of her parents as a whole, organic and indivisible: charity to strangers and Mrs. Morganbesser's rules on how long to wear your sleeves. The smell of citron and willow branches on the Feast of Tabernacles and throwing rocks at cars that passed through the neighborhood on the Sabbath. But it wasn't a whole she realized. Just as Joan's [Western:] world was neither the fearsome, despicable entity her teachers had portrayed it nor utopia. It too had good and bad.
She did not want to live her mother's good life or her sister's, but a good life of her own choosing filled with the rich bounty of all that she loved and respected in both worlds."
Finally, the epilogue, if it were my novel, I probably would have left it off. Or written it a little differently. As much as I love all the loose ends tied up, I didn't love the way Ragen chose to write it.
From the book jacket:
"Sotah is the story of beautiful, fragile Dina Reich, a young woman in Jerusalem's ultra religious haredi enclave who is accused of the community's most unforgivable sin: adultery. Although Dina was brought up to be an obedient daughter and dutiful wife, she has yearnings -- for knowledge, for romance, for excitement -- that she knows her life will never satisfy. In her willing, but arranged marriage, Dina finds these deeply repressed passions increasingly difficult to ignore, Even her loving and generous husband cannot completely satisfy her, and eventually, her frustration find a dangerous outlet in a sudden and intense obsession with a married man. But when the flirtation is exposed by the community's self-appointed vigilantes, Dina is separated from her husband and child and forced to leave the country. In New York City, the freedom and the shallowness of modern American life appall Dina, but they also inspire her to fashion her own tradition, one that will enable her to confront her accusers and reclaim her life."
I greatly enjoyed this novel. While I did find the beginning a bit long winded in its description of the haredi traditions and laws, it was still fairly interesting and probably necessary for an understanding of the culture that drove Dina to become who she became in the novel.
I was fascinated with Ragen's treatment of the theme of the oppression of women. The world judges that women, particularly women who are members of a religious group, are oppressed by the men and/or the religious teachings, but are they? This question, and to me, the answer to this argument is illustrated by this quote from near the end of the novel:
"All her life [Dina:] had accepted the world of her parents as a whole, organic and indivisible: charity to strangers and Mrs. Morganbesser's rules on how long to wear your sleeves. The smell of citron and willow branches on the Feast of Tabernacles and throwing rocks at cars that passed through the neighborhood on the Sabbath. But it wasn't a whole she realized. Just as Joan's [Western:] world was neither the fearsome, despicable entity her teachers had portrayed it nor utopia. It too had good and bad.
She did not want to live her mother's good life or her sister's, but a good life of her own choosing filled with the rich bounty of all that she loved and respected in both worlds."
Finally, the epilogue, if it were my novel, I probably would have left it off. Or written it a little differently. As much as I love all the loose ends tied up, I didn't love the way Ragen chose to write it.
April 11, 2011
The first few hundred pages were magnificent. I loved the rich imagery--both of Jerusalem (which I, myself, have visited on two occasions and love with a depth beyond description) and the customs of the Ultra-Orthodox Jews living there. People who add an undefinable magic to the city and make it what it is. I am the very most Reform Jew possible but I have the utmost respect for those who devote their lives to study and prayer.
This novel portrayed the characters' beliefs not just from the perspective of study, prayer and community, but from family. It was touching to read. Though I can't speak from experience, I would venture to say that it was entirely sincere as well. More than that, it showed how the characters faced adversity, both minor and major. The story flowed beautifully and brought to mind vivid memories of the time I spent there.
It wasn't until later in the book that the story lost its appeal to me. Once corruption was introduced, the magic disappeared for me. Worse yet, the characters introduced from that point forward lacked any real development. Their beliefs and personalities were described with nothing to make them feel real. Compassion for an abused kitten is not enough in which to base the entire development of a character.
In the end, it became almost comical how everyone forgave one another and blamed themselves for everything that transpired. It's all my fault... no, it's my fault... don't be silly--I am entirely to blame. Seriously? I would have found it more satisfying if the blame was placed where it belonged and the process of forgiveness and healing followed. That seems more realistic than a competition to see who was more responsible for the events that occurred.
The epilogue was worthwhile to read but left me wondering how so much time had passed without the characters keeping in touch. Hadn't they shared life-altering experiences? I wouldn't let a person who made such a profound difference in my life just slip away. Maybe that's just me, though.
Still, the beginning of the novel made the book a worthy read. Endings, after all, are notoriously difficult.
That being said, um... bye.
This novel portrayed the characters' beliefs not just from the perspective of study, prayer and community, but from family. It was touching to read. Though I can't speak from experience, I would venture to say that it was entirely sincere as well. More than that, it showed how the characters faced adversity, both minor and major. The story flowed beautifully and brought to mind vivid memories of the time I spent there.
It wasn't until later in the book that the story lost its appeal to me. Once corruption was introduced, the magic disappeared for me. Worse yet, the characters introduced from that point forward lacked any real development. Their beliefs and personalities were described with nothing to make them feel real. Compassion for an abused kitten is not enough in which to base the entire development of a character.
In the end, it became almost comical how everyone forgave one another and blamed themselves for everything that transpired. It's all my fault... no, it's my fault... don't be silly--I am entirely to blame. Seriously? I would have found it more satisfying if the blame was placed where it belonged and the process of forgiveness and healing followed. That seems more realistic than a competition to see who was more responsible for the events that occurred.
The epilogue was worthwhile to read but left me wondering how so much time had passed without the characters keeping in touch. Hadn't they shared life-altering experiences? I wouldn't let a person who made such a profound difference in my life just slip away. Maybe that's just me, though.
Still, the beginning of the novel made the book a worthy read. Endings, after all, are notoriously difficult.
That being said, um... bye.
September 19, 2012
Hmm. This isn't quite trashy enough to be 'romance', but is definitely poorly written chicklit. But! It is about a culture I'm not familiar with, and I am a sucker, so I read it and enjoyed it. Despite the often ham-fisted writing and embarrassingly cliched characters.
I read some other reviews that were really angry about the portrayal of Orthodox Jews, but I wasn't left with a negative feeling about the culture. I don't know enough about Judaism, let alone this particular side of it to judge the accuracy of the book, but I didn't feel like it was exactly unfair to any society it presented. All orthodoxy contains absurd strictures that don't fit well into modern times, but also present a simplicity that I can appreciate. I felt that the author presented both sides and showed that it's not the religion that is the problem, but the corruption of religion into hate and judgement.
The story follows three sisters in Jerusalem through their teenage years which amounts to school, marriage, and babies. Each has a challenging romance/marriage, but the plot mostly follows the middle daughter Dina. Her 'perfect daughter' complex is familiar to lots of people regardless of religion, so even her mistakes seemed believable.
The author bothers to give Dina some depth over the course of the story, but most of the other characters are pretty one-sided and often are just obvious foils to Dina. Pretty much every character can be reduced to one word cliches. The main exception is the younger sister who I was particularly fond of as she raged against her life's limitations in ways I could really relate to.
Mostly I enjoyed the book for the education I got about some of the customs and cultural expectations of Orthodox Judaism. It's hardly great literature, but it held my interest and didn't devolve into awful cheesy romance sex which was my big concern based on the cover. Enjoyable laundry room find.
I read some other reviews that were really angry about the portrayal of Orthodox Jews, but I wasn't left with a negative feeling about the culture. I don't know enough about Judaism, let alone this particular side of it to judge the accuracy of the book, but I didn't feel like it was exactly unfair to any society it presented. All orthodoxy contains absurd strictures that don't fit well into modern times, but also present a simplicity that I can appreciate. I felt that the author presented both sides and showed that it's not the religion that is the problem, but the corruption of religion into hate and judgement.
The story follows three sisters in Jerusalem through their teenage years which amounts to school, marriage, and babies. Each has a challenging romance/marriage, but the plot mostly follows the middle daughter Dina. Her 'perfect daughter' complex is familiar to lots of people regardless of religion, so even her mistakes seemed believable.
The author bothers to give Dina some depth over the course of the story, but most of the other characters are pretty one-sided and often are just obvious foils to Dina. Pretty much every character can be reduced to one word cliches. The main exception is the younger sister who I was particularly fond of as she raged against her life's limitations in ways I could really relate to.
Mostly I enjoyed the book for the education I got about some of the customs and cultural expectations of Orthodox Judaism. It's hardly great literature, but it held my interest and didn't devolve into awful cheesy romance sex which was my big concern based on the cover. Enjoyable laundry room find.
June 9, 2018
a book to remind us that we are all human, with human desires and free spirit, even when dressed differently or follow a different cultural rules. 3 sisters raised in an ultra orthodox jerusalemic neighbourhood, where everyone knows everyone and the privacy is scarce. girls growing up educated to be beneficial housewifes and working moms that support the husband's literacy in the religous schools. weddings are arranged by a settler and become a bargain deal, and love is expected to grow on them through the years. the elder sister is scared because of an old family story about a young women who ran from her village to marry the person she loved, which stains the family for generation. she is married to someone she is not atrracted to but excepts the life given to her and grows into it. the second is Dina, the main character, which loses her first arrangment that was love at first site because her family didn't have the money needed for marrying him. after mourning for some time she is left with the fantasy but marries a quiet loving craftsman, which she does not accept and is ashamed of not marrying someone "her class" and falls into self pity, frustration and lonlyness, and begans to wonder about the basics of the life they live. a conning neghibour succedd in achieving her attention and they have an affair that is used to set her life apart. the youngest sister is dedicated to finding her match by herself and to not follow unreasonable rules. I was moved to tears by the acceptence Dina experienced from her family. a family of true values, that puts the love of their own before the society's pressure to judge them. I identified with Dina's feelings, discovering her effect on men and the need to deny it, the dificulty of being with a person you are not sure of for the rest of your life, the fear of being judged and of failing to stand to the expectiation of society, fear of violent men, and the need to find your own balanced path in life.
August 25, 2013
This is a 4+ star book for me. It could have been a 5 star, but it fell a bit short for me.
First off, I would like to say that this author is AMAZING. Her writing just sucked me in and kept me hooked. I felt like I was really there in Jerusalem living the life of this family. I learned so much about this religion and community. It was fascinating to see the similarities and differences between their religious beliefs and my own LDS Christian beliefs. Their struggle felt real to me.
This author was able to make me FEEL what the characters were feeling, and feel it deeply. It was an emotionally painful and uncomfortable book at times...I guess that is the sign of a good author, but it still wasn't always pleasant. Call me crazy, but I read mainly for enjoyment, and if I'm not enjoying something, then it loses a few points in my book.
Within the pages I found so many wonderful "Ah-ha" moments or things I wanted to ponder or remember or share with family members. I started sticking post-it notes on the pages that had these quotes -- by the time I was done, my book looked like a porcupine with post-it notes sticking out of it all over.
I LOVED the first 1/3 of the book and the last 1/3 of the book. The middle was a bit tough for me. Without giving away too much, let's just say that it was really uncomfortable and I found myself squirming and wondering if I should close the book. It never crossed the line (my personal line of appropriateness) but it got uncomfortably close. But I'm glad I stuck it out. That last 1/3 gave me a lot of powerful, life changing things to think about.
I think I am a better person as a parent, spouse, friend, and neighbor for having read this book. I still have many areas to improve on, but this book gave me LOTS to think about and ponder about what I believe and how I live my life.
First off, I would like to say that this author is AMAZING. Her writing just sucked me in and kept me hooked. I felt like I was really there in Jerusalem living the life of this family. I learned so much about this religion and community. It was fascinating to see the similarities and differences between their religious beliefs and my own LDS Christian beliefs. Their struggle felt real to me.
This author was able to make me FEEL what the characters were feeling, and feel it deeply. It was an emotionally painful and uncomfortable book at times...I guess that is the sign of a good author, but it still wasn't always pleasant. Call me crazy, but I read mainly for enjoyment, and if I'm not enjoying something, then it loses a few points in my book.
Within the pages I found so many wonderful "Ah-ha" moments or things I wanted to ponder or remember or share with family members. I started sticking post-it notes on the pages that had these quotes -- by the time I was done, my book looked like a porcupine with post-it notes sticking out of it all over.
I LOVED the first 1/3 of the book and the last 1/3 of the book. The middle was a bit tough for me. Without giving away too much, let's just say that it was really uncomfortable and I found myself squirming and wondering if I should close the book. It never crossed the line (my personal line of appropriateness) but it got uncomfortably close. But I'm glad I stuck it out. That last 1/3 gave me a lot of powerful, life changing things to think about.
I think I am a better person as a parent, spouse, friend, and neighbor for having read this book. I still have many areas to improve on, but this book gave me LOTS to think about and ponder about what I believe and how I live my life.
June 10, 2008
This book was pretty interesting. I picked it up because I wanted to learn more about the life of ultra-orthodox Jewish women. Although I am Jewish, their lives could not be more different from mine. Naomi Ragen, the author, is Orthodox herself and seemed very knowledgeable about the community.
The book centers on Dinah, the second daughter of a family of modest means. In the ultra-orthodox community, girls' go through arranged marriages in their late teens. The best "catches" among the men are talmudic scholars. Thus, a lucky woman has to work very hard supporting herself, her husband, and her inevitably large family (due to lack of birth control). These "catches" also expect a large dowry from the bride's family - often an apartment, perhaps a car, and a contribution to income. To an outsider it is a miserable existence.
Dinah, who is very pretty, eventually marries after the disappointment about being turned down by her first choice because her family was not wealthy. The man she married was not a scholar, but a successful carpenter/business man who could support her. Dinah was dissatsfied and disappointed by her low status. She was also very lonely and possibly had Post Partum Depression. Eventually she starts an inappropriate relationship with a man. When she is found out she is banished to New York. Eventually Dinah redeems herself. In the meantime, her perspective on the lives of Americans outside of her ultra-Orthodox bubble is amusing.
The storyline is interesting as is the subject matter. Unfortunately, Ragen is not a great writer. Her characters felt a little flat to me. However, the storyline and the intersting information about the ultra-Orthodox community compensate for the weak writing.
The book centers on Dinah, the second daughter of a family of modest means. In the ultra-orthodox community, girls' go through arranged marriages in their late teens. The best "catches" among the men are talmudic scholars. Thus, a lucky woman has to work very hard supporting herself, her husband, and her inevitably large family (due to lack of birth control). These "catches" also expect a large dowry from the bride's family - often an apartment, perhaps a car, and a contribution to income. To an outsider it is a miserable existence.
Dinah, who is very pretty, eventually marries after the disappointment about being turned down by her first choice because her family was not wealthy. The man she married was not a scholar, but a successful carpenter/business man who could support her. Dinah was dissatsfied and disappointed by her low status. She was also very lonely and possibly had Post Partum Depression. Eventually she starts an inappropriate relationship with a man. When she is found out she is banished to New York. Eventually Dinah redeems herself. In the meantime, her perspective on the lives of Americans outside of her ultra-Orthodox bubble is amusing.
The storyline is interesting as is the subject matter. Unfortunately, Ragen is not a great writer. Her characters felt a little flat to me. However, the storyline and the intersting information about the ultra-Orthodox community compensate for the weak writing.
May 19, 2011
Dina Reich is a beautiful young woman living in Jerusalem accused of the most unforgivable sin;adultery. She was always the gentle and fragile one in her family,and was always bonded with her close relatives. Dvorah her trusting sister has always stuck by her through the thick and thin and often confided in her about what was disturbing her peace and shared her crucial advice about marriage and life. There have been many relationships that Dina has started and not finished, because of her family strict ruling standards. Abraham Brietman was a man that she was attracted to but it was not who she wanted to be with. In addition she meets a man that is more talkative than her calm husband that she was forced to marry by the name of Jutah Gutman, who gives her the world but she wants something more. She has an affair with a married man and finds herself caught in deception and the painful realization would be dismissed, by even her precious loved ones.
This is an amazing book about faith, love and forgiveness, it all collide in the same category. This is my first book that I read by Naomi Rogers and after reading this extraordinary book, it won`t be the last.
This is an amazing book about faith, love and forgiveness, it all collide in the same category. This is my first book that I read by Naomi Rogers and after reading this extraordinary book, it won`t be the last.
August 25, 2008
I had some time this weekend to catch up on my reading and I was only too happy to let my housework suffer in the pursuit of literary advancement.I am not one of these happy-go-lucky chicks who tosses out the 5-star rating like beads at Mardi Gras.I really have to think the book was AMAZING. I was amazed by this book.
I was also amazed at my ability to fully grasp this book, since it is about Orthodox Jews in Jeruselum and I am a lapsed Catholic from Ohio.Although I do have a long-standing love for the Jews.But that is how good the writing was: I really understood the scope of what was going on in the context of her society. Then, during the time of her exile, I came to realize, along with Dina, that her world may not really make as much sense as she had always believed.This was some very heavy subject matter but definitely worth the time.As usual I was not 100 percent behind the ending, but I did admire the effort by the author to not tie up every single loose end.
One question, though. Who is on the cover. I know it is not Dina with all that eyeliner.
I was also amazed at my ability to fully grasp this book, since it is about Orthodox Jews in Jeruselum and I am a lapsed Catholic from Ohio.Although I do have a long-standing love for the Jews.But that is how good the writing was: I really understood the scope of what was going on in the context of her society. Then, during the time of her exile, I came to realize, along with Dina, that her world may not really make as much sense as she had always believed.This was some very heavy subject matter but definitely worth the time.As usual I was not 100 percent behind the ending, but I did admire the effort by the author to not tie up every single loose end.
One question, though. Who is on the cover. I know it is not Dina with all that eyeliner.
June 28, 2009
Oy. This book came so close to getting 2 stars from me until the last 150 pages or so. Since it took that long for this book to get good.
I don't know why I didn't put this book down after about 150-200 pages (other than I really wanted to know what happened to Dina and it wasn't SO terrible that I felt I had to stop reading). But what really irked me was that it took Ragen until about page 280 to get into the meat of what the story was about. And then gives the reader only about 150 pages to enjoy it. Get a better editor; this book should have been at least 100 pages shorter!
I read this on a recommendation from my Aunt after reading The Covenant in April. The Covenant was light years better than this. The character descriptions took too long and too much time was spent on unnecessary things. But the meat of this book is actually quite likeable--especially the 'culture shock' portions where Dina goes to New York.
If you really like Ragen, read it, but in general, it's one I'd skip
I don't know why I didn't put this book down after about 150-200 pages (other than I really wanted to know what happened to Dina and it wasn't SO terrible that I felt I had to stop reading). But what really irked me was that it took Ragen until about page 280 to get into the meat of what the story was about. And then gives the reader only about 150 pages to enjoy it. Get a better editor; this book should have been at least 100 pages shorter!
I read this on a recommendation from my Aunt after reading The Covenant in April. The Covenant was light years better than this. The character descriptions took too long and too much time was spent on unnecessary things. But the meat of this book is actually quite likeable--especially the 'culture shock' portions where Dina goes to New York.
If you really like Ragen, read it, but in general, it's one I'd skip
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