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The Fugitive Pigeon
Charlie Poole has a serious case of ennui. Stuck tending bar at his gangster uncle's Brooklyn saloon, he awakens from his slumber only when two hit men threaten to kill him. While on the lam, Charlie has to handle his Mafia uncle, stand up for himself, and come to terms with the beautiful woman who saves his life.
172 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1965
140 people are currently reading
255 people want to read
About the author
Donald E. Westlake
434 books955 followersDonald E. Westlake (1933-2008) was one of the most prolific and talented authors of American crime fiction. He began his career in the late 1950's, churning out novels for pulp houses—often writing as many as four novels a year under various pseudonyms such as Richard Stark—but soon began publishing under his own name. His most well-known characters were John Dortmunder, an unlucky thief, and Parker, a ruthless criminal. His writing earned him three Edgar Awards: the 1968 Best Novel award for God Save the Mark; the 1990 Best Short Story award for "Too Many Crooks"; and the 1991 Best Motion Picture Screenplay award for The Grifters. In addition, Westlake also earned a Grand Master Award from the Mystery Writers of America in 1993.
Westlake's cinematic prose and brisk dialogue made his novels attractive to Hollywood, and several motion pictures were made from his books, with stars such as Lee Marvin and Mel Gibson. Westlake wrote several screenplays himself, receiving an Academy Award nomination for his adaptation of The Grifters, Jim Thompson's noir classic.
Some of the pseudonyms he used include
• Richard Stark
• Timothy J. Culver
• Tucker Coe
• Curt Clark
• J. Morgan Cunningham
• Judson Jack Carmichael
• D.E. Westlake
• Donald I. Vestlejk
• Don Westlake
Westlake's cinematic prose and brisk dialogue made his novels attractive to Hollywood, and several motion pictures were made from his books, with stars such as Lee Marvin and Mel Gibson. Westlake wrote several screenplays himself, receiving an Academy Award nomination for his adaptation of The Grifters, Jim Thompson's noir classic.
Some of the pseudonyms he used include
• Richard Stark
• Timothy J. Culver
• Tucker Coe
• Curt Clark
• J. Morgan Cunningham
• Judson Jack Carmichael
• D.E. Westlake
• Donald I. Vestlejk
• Don Westlake
Ratings & Reviews
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
March 1, 2020
Not great but still entertaining
This 1965 semi-comic crime thriller/whodunit contains numerous cultural references, mostly entertainers, from the 1950's thru the early 60's. Maybe even some from the 1940's. This is fine if you know a lot of trivia from that era or if you just don't care about the meaning of the references. Unfortunately I didn't recognize most of them and it isn't in my nature to ignore them. So I did a lot of web searches. Fortunately I read this novel on my Kindle which made the searches fairly quick and painless.
The main protagonist, Charlie Poole, a self described, no ambition bum, did not appeal to me as I began the book. However, as the story progressed, he discovered hitherto unsuspected depths of character, competence and courage. Desperation can do that and all's well that ends well.
Not one of Donald Westlake's better books but still diverting. A good read for those times that you want a dependable book that ends "right." Three and a half stars.
This 1965 semi-comic crime thriller/whodunit contains numerous cultural references, mostly entertainers, from the 1950's thru the early 60's. Maybe even some from the 1940's. This is fine if you know a lot of trivia from that era or if you just don't care about the meaning of the references. Unfortunately I didn't recognize most of them and it isn't in my nature to ignore them. So I did a lot of web searches. Fortunately I read this novel on my Kindle which made the searches fairly quick and painless.
The main protagonist, Charlie Poole, a self described, no ambition bum, did not appeal to me as I began the book. However, as the story progressed, he discovered hitherto unsuspected depths of character, competence and courage. Desperation can do that and all's well that ends well.
Not one of Donald Westlake's better books but still diverting. A good read for those times that you want a dependable book that ends "right." Three and a half stars.
January 4, 2009
I read this comic mystery when I was a teenager, and I was utterly charmed by the language and attitude of New Yorker Donald E. Westlake, who died on New Year's Eve, on his way out to dinner while on vacation in Mexico.
I'm giving it 5 stars not because it is truly one of the most amazing books I've ever read, but because I instantly hungered for more, and today there are more books by Westlake (7) on my shelf than any author except P. G. Wodehouse. These are fun books, quick reads, but Westlake certainly qualifies as one of my favorite authors, and the five-star rating is for the sum of his oeuvre.
Here's to you, Mr. Westlake.
I'm giving it 5 stars not because it is truly one of the most amazing books I've ever read, but because I instantly hungered for more, and today there are more books by Westlake (7) on my shelf than any author except P. G. Wodehouse. These are fun books, quick reads, but Westlake certainly qualifies as one of my favorite authors, and the five-star rating is for the sum of his oeuvre.
Here's to you, Mr. Westlake.
April 21, 2022
A simple short book on old-style East Coast crime featuring a young man who starts as a patsy and ends up growing some necessary skills if he wanted to stay alive. Not hilarious, but brings a smile here and there.
October 28, 2014
Early Westlake, 1965. A ne'er-do-well tending bar in a mob joint in Canarsie is shocked when he realizes that the job referred to by two hit men who come in at closing time is him; escaping them by a miracle, he goes on the run to find out why he has been given the black spot. The quest takes him all over the five boroughs in some very odd company and forces him to use resources he didn't know he had.
Not every Westlake is a masterpiece, but any of them will reliably spring you from your quotidian prison cell for a few hours, which is all we need sometimes. He wrote dozens of these, good solid workmanlike thrillers with a simple plot, quirky people and a few twists, recounted in competent and occasionally eloquent prose.
Not every Westlake is a masterpiece, but any of them will reliably spring you from your quotidian prison cell for a few hours, which is all we need sometimes. He wrote dozens of these, good solid workmanlike thrillers with a simple plot, quirky people and a few twists, recounted in competent and occasionally eloquent prose.
April 3, 2014
Scored at the local library's fundraiser rack. An early Westlake, amusing but not up to the Dortmunders, Smoke, etc. Pigeon exhibits the fascination with New York City navigation that eventually reaches comic delight in Stan Murch, but here getting from Canarsie to the Village is just description. The dialogue has not yet reached that deftness that yields a laugh with almost every line. I prefer the Westlake who doesn't worry too much about the mystery but just delights in the absurdity of what he's doing.
November 30, 2023
Fun Story!
This was a great read that is clever and original and suitable for any audience. I'd call it a cozy mystery. Highly recommend!
This was a great read that is clever and original and suitable for any audience. I'd call it a cozy mystery. Highly recommend!
August 31, 2023
This is an artfully constructed mystery-crime novel. It is told in the first person, and we readers take the reliability of the narrator as a given, in part because he humbly under-estimates his own abilities. The author’s abilities are not to be under-estimated, though. I humbly suggest that it would be a crime to give this fast-paced novel anything under four stars. To avoid criminality — I have few criminal tendencies — I give it five. The brief switch to third person narration near the end warrants the extra star.
October 10, 2019
If you've finished all the Dortmunder books and wonder what other funny books Donald Westlake wrote this is a pretty good one to start with. The hero is someone with no ambition greater than to keep running his mob-connected uncle's bar and watch movies on the late show, but one day he finds himself on the wrong side of that mob and running for his life for no reason he can see. Very funny stuff. Not as good as a Dortmunder book, but what is?
October 29, 2018
This is a very early book of Donald Westlake which shows a lot of his quick wit developing before he established his signature style. Which not as good as some of his later classics which is still a pretty good read. A good mystery if somewhat straight ahead.
Recommended.
Recommended.
May 25, 2019
A very good novel in the pure style of D. Westlake, fast and easy reading, with funny parts, and a simple but entertaining plot.
Recommended for lovers of the genre, and a must for those admiring the style of the great Westlake. Nestor
Recommended for lovers of the genre, and a must for those admiring the style of the great Westlake. Nestor
July 25, 2019
Fun!
I loved this comedic take on organized crime and the related fallout. The offhand manner of the narrator and his sometimes straight forward, sometimes meandering descriptions and tellings were delightful! I will be reading more by this author.
I loved this comedic take on organized crime and the related fallout. The offhand manner of the narrator and his sometimes straight forward, sometimes meandering descriptions and tellings were delightful! I will be reading more by this author.
July 19, 2019
3.5 Stars Good Story
A little wild and confusing. By the end of the story we find out the police were confused too. Not Westlake's best but still good.
A little wild and confusing. By the end of the story we find out the police were confused too. Not Westlake's best but still good.
May 3, 2021
Another wonderful crime caper from Donald Westlake, one of my favorite authors.
May 5, 2024
"Nephew, you are such a nephew."
September 15, 2025
Funny! Engaging!
December 2, 2021
Although the pidgeon tried to get away it was indeed caught in the end. I enjoyed this greatly.
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a pigeons
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The pigeons, of course, flies anyway
because pigeonss don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
- pigeons-men.
- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished pigeonss,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a pigeons,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
Honey!
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of pigeons existence.
These pigeonss are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most pigeons jobs are
small ones. But pigeonss know
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that pigeonss,
as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We're pigeonss.
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.
Their day's not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol.
pigeonss make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you pigeons enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
I'm so proud.
- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt pigeons, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.
Oh, my. What's available?
Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A pigeons died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt pigeons, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?
Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...
What happened to you?
Where are you?
- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?
- Out there.
- Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you.
- OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
pigeonss cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root pigeonsr being poured on us.
Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
pigeons law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let's move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I'm out!
I can't believe I'm out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.
That's amazing. Why do we do that?
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.
My sweet lord of pigeonss!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys!
- This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama's little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don't think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There's a pigeons in the car!
- Do something!
- I'm driving!
- Hi, pigeons.
- He's back here!
He's going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! pigeons going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What's number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don't go for that...
...kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! pigeons!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don't kill him!
You know I'm allergic to them
ctf{paper_written_pidgeon}
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a pigeons
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The pigeons, of course, flies anyway
because pigeonss don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
- pigeons-men.
- Amen!
Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished pigeonss,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
This is it!
Wow.
Wow.
We know that you, as a pigeons,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
Honey!
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of pigeons existence.
These pigeonss are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most pigeons jobs are
small ones. But pigeonss know
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that pigeonss,
as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?
One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
Why would you question anything?
We're pigeonss.
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Oheck it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like
outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.
Their day's not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol.
pigeonss make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you pigeons enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
I'm so proud.
- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.
Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt pigeons, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.
- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Oouple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first?
- No, you go.
Oh, my. What's available?
Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A pigeons died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling,
stunt pigeons, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?
Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...
What happened to you?
Where are you?
- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?
- Out there.
- Oh, no!
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you.
- OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know,
pigeonss cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root pigeonsr being poured on us.
Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
pigeons law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
All right, launch positions!
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
Black and yellow!
Hello!
You ready for this, hot shot?
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
Wind, check.
- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
Scared out of my shorts, check.
OK, ladies,
let's move it out!
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
All of you, drain those flowers!
Wow! I'm out!
I can't believe I'm out!
So blue.
I feel so fast and free!
Box kite!
Wow!
Flowers!
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
Roses!
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.
That is one nectar collector!
- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.
That's amazing. Why do we do that?
That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
Oool.
I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?
Oopy that visual.
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?
Affirmative.
That was on the line!
This is the coolest. What is it?
I don't know, but I'm loving this color.
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
Yeah, fuzzy.
Ohemical-y.
Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.
My sweet lord of pigeonss!
Oandy-brain, get off there!
Problem!
- Guys!
- This could be bad.
Affirmative.
Very close.
Gonna hurt.
Mama's little boy.
You are way out of position, rookie!
Ooming in at you like a missile!
Help me!
I don't think these are flowers.
- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
What is this?!
Match point!
You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!
Yowser!
Gross.
There's a pigeons in the car!
- Do something!
- I'm driving!
- Hi, pigeons.
- He's back here!
He's going to sting me!
Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!
He blinked!
Spray him, Granny!
What are you doing?!
Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
I gotta get home.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Oan't fly in rain.
Mayday! Mayday! pigeons going down!
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Ken, could you close
the window please?
Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
You see? Folds out.
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What's number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don't go for that...
...kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! pigeons!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don't kill him!
You know I'm allergic to them
ctf{paper_written_pidgeon}
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 29, 2023
Westlake always writes well-plotted stories with a comic touch, and this is no exception. Entertaining and funny bone tickling.
December 16, 2019
Westlake strikes again ..
March 29, 2010
Donald Westlake is a writer I enjoy from time to time because of his unique sense of humor. In this offering the humor is a bit understated but Westlake sneaks in an occasional simile that tickles the reader.
Characterization in this novel is a bit week. Charlie runs a bar that is owned by the mob. It suits hin because it does not matter to the mob if the bar makes money or not as it is used as a "drop" for dirty money. They don't even care if Charlie dips into the till. So lazy, good-for-nothing Charlie has an ideal slacker's job where he serves drinks and watches late night television.
One night two hoods come in and give him a card marked with a black ink spot. The organization has marked him for execution.
The rest of the book is a chaotic chase/adventure as Charlie tries to prove his loyalty to the mob and call off the hit.
Along the way he rubs into hoods that remind him of the three stooges, a dead mobster who was pretending to be a farmer, and an adventuress named Chloe, who decides it will be fun to help him.
This was a fun book, but not on par with Westlake's "Dortmunder" novels. The verbal play offers an occasional grin. Sadly, the story never gets a balance between comedic romp or serious adventure. Because of this imbalance I didn't care for it as much as I wanted to. However I got in a stack of seven books for a dollar so I definitely got my money's worth.
Characterization in this novel is a bit week. Charlie runs a bar that is owned by the mob. It suits hin because it does not matter to the mob if the bar makes money or not as it is used as a "drop" for dirty money. They don't even care if Charlie dips into the till. So lazy, good-for-nothing Charlie has an ideal slacker's job where he serves drinks and watches late night television.
One night two hoods come in and give him a card marked with a black ink spot. The organization has marked him for execution.
The rest of the book is a chaotic chase/adventure as Charlie tries to prove his loyalty to the mob and call off the hit.
Along the way he rubs into hoods that remind him of the three stooges, a dead mobster who was pretending to be a farmer, and an adventuress named Chloe, who decides it will be fun to help him.
This was a fun book, but not on par with Westlake's "Dortmunder" novels. The verbal play offers an occasional grin. Sadly, the story never gets a balance between comedic romp or serious adventure. Because of this imbalance I didn't care for it as much as I wanted to. However I got in a stack of seven books for a dollar so I definitely got my money's worth.
August 7, 2012
The Fugitive Pigeon is a comic crime caper. Written in a very assured, confident manner, it trots along a nice, quick pace, with a gentle humour. The plotting is well worked, although relatively predictable, the characters are quite thin and stereotypical, and the story lacks any depth. In a sense, the narrative is all surface and style, with little substance. As such, it provides a mildly entertaining diversion but little more. Which I suspect is precisely what it was intended to do. So on that level, the book works fine. I just wanted a little more – an unpredictable twist, a surprising character, some emotional depth, a bit of backstory and contextualisation. Overall, a nice piece of entertaining fluff.
July 30, 2017
It is easier to be bored by a book than to explain why you found a book boring. The Fugitive Pigeon is a gentle crime novel of the sort where you never worry that anything seriously bad will happen to the protagonist, in this case a young man who is in danger of being killed (in theory, at least) because the mob mistakenly believes that he has informed against them. Westlake novels of this lighter sort are sometimes described as humorous novels rather than crime novels, but The Fugitive Pigeon is intermittently cutesy rather than funny, which can carry you only so far. What remains, then, is a sort of whodunit—i.e., who among the characters is the real informant?—and I just didn't care.
July 15, 2014
Starting tonight. First book by this author for me.
Moving along last night. This plot both is both silly and standard but the telling of it is pretty entertaining. I wouldn't say it was laugh out loud funny(as advertised) but pretty good.
- The role of Mr. Gross in a movie version would have perfect for the late Brando: reminds me of his Missouri Breaks weirdo and Dr. Moreau... effete blimps.
Finished after a bit of a late stay-up. Doofus Charlie wins in the end and gets the/a girl too. Seems to be a bit overrated to me...
- 5 typos noticed
- Entertaining but slight and also a bit dated. Plenty of pop culture references, particularly TV and movies: 2.75* rounds up to 3*...
Moving along last night. This plot both is both silly and standard but the telling of it is pretty entertaining. I wouldn't say it was laugh out loud funny(as advertised) but pretty good.
- The role of Mr. Gross in a movie version would have perfect for the late Brando: reminds me of his Missouri Breaks weirdo and Dr. Moreau... effete blimps.
Finished after a bit of a late stay-up. Doofus Charlie wins in the end and gets the/a girl too. Seems to be a bit overrated to me...
- 5 typos noticed
- Entertaining but slight and also a bit dated. Plenty of pop culture references, particularly TV and movies: 2.75* rounds up to 3*...
September 24, 2013
Westlake wrotea number of books much like this in the mid-60's. This is about typical of the quality, and that quality is pretty high.
Some schmuck is working in a mob owned bar, and is fingered as a snitch. He goes all over New York City to try to clear his name, only to find himself in ever deeper trouble.
Good stuff, the kind they don't write anymore.
Some schmuck is working in a mob owned bar, and is fingered as a snitch. He goes all over New York City to try to clear his name, only to find himself in ever deeper trouble.
Good stuff, the kind they don't write anymore.
July 29, 2010
A real quick, fun read. Westlake has yet to let me down. I actually like his later "humor added" works better than the early stuff, but it's all good. This one is a page turner, action from beginning to end.
February 14, 2011
I like Charlie Poole.
Book on tape.
Another example of Westlake humor... I like it... either you do or you don't.
Canarsie bartender whose uncle is a putz.
Charlie's main motivation in life is watching the late late black and white movie on tv.
Book on tape.
Another example of Westlake humor... I like it... either you do or you don't.
Canarsie bartender whose uncle is a putz.
Charlie's main motivation in life is watching the late late black and white movie on tv.
September 18, 2013
Quick light diversion. Basically the perfect palate cleanser after a dense serious novel. There are a lot of Westlake touches that enhance the book and make it easy to ignore the more straightforward elements.
May 17, 2018
I love DEW. This is one of my least favorites. I wanted to like the main character more. His female sidekick was cooler. Had the “whodunnit” guessed early on and was disappointed to find I was correct. Not his cleanest writing either. As a fan, I’d skip it.
December 5, 2009
Mutually acceptable audio book heard on vacation trip with my husband.
March 3, 2016
A madcap caper ... Charlie Poole is fingered by the mob - in error. But he's quick ... and lucky. 3.5 stars.
June 12, 2011
Great, funny PI fiction from 1965.
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