Well-Tempered Clavicle

Xanth #35

by Piers Anthony

For an animated skeleton, kept alive by the Magic of Xanth, Picka Bones has lived a fairly uneventful life. The high points of his day consist of patrolling graveyards with his sister, Joy’nt, and picking out tunes on his ribs with his own collar bones.

All that changes, however, when three curious creatures, a dog called Woofer, a bird called Tweeter, and a cat known as Midrange, challenge Picka to discover what magical talent he might possess by seeking out the enchanted princesses Dawn and Eve.

But Princess Eve has gone to Hades, and Princess Dawn has troubles of her own. At the ripe age of twenty-one, she is still unmarried, having failed to find a suitable prince who is not intimidated by her power and beauty.

When Picka, Joy’nt, Eve, and the three musical pets ask the Good Magician Humfrey for answers to their perplexing problems, he responds by dispatching them on a daring mission—to locate and tame Caprice Castle, a feral palace so errant that even Humfrey can’t determine its whereabouts. For legend has it that the Castle contains the fabled Pundora’s Box, which once contained the worst puns in Xanth, until they were carelessly released a century before.

Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Humor, Science Fiction Fantasy, Ebooks, Speculative Fiction, Adult

320 pages, Hardcover

First published October 11, 2011

About the author

Though he spent the first four years of his life in England, Piers never returned to live in his country of birth after moving to Spain and immigrated to America at age six. After graduating with a B.A. from Goddard College, he married one of his fellow students and and spent fifteen years in an assortment of professions before he began writing fiction full-time.

Piers is a self-proclaimed environmentalist and lives on a tree farm in Florida with his wife. They have two grown daughters.

Reviews

[Jim · Rating 1 out of 5]

Decades ago, I read a lot of Piers Anthony. Most of his books were fast-paced and didn't take themselves too seriously, which I appreciated. I haven't read his stuff in years, but when I received a review copy of his latest book Well-Tempered Clavicle, the thirty-fifth Xanth book, I decided to check it out. I figured it would be a fun trip to a fantasy world I hadn't visited in a while.

I couldn't finish the book. Heavy-handed puns, constant descriptions of panties, breast gropes, and a "comical" attempted rape.

I go into more detail at http://jimhines.livejournal.com/60815... if you want the full rant.

[Erika · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Xanth novel...felt like he wasn't really trying, and then I read the author's note and realized he admitted that it was off. The puns weren't the problem; more the recaps to everyone they met being included, almost in full, every time and then the continuing distinctions between skeletons and humans, especially near the end mentioning the eating and ablutions during the camping. Also, it was a bit choppy with characters being introduced and then dealt with in less than half a chapter or even just a page and a bit.

[Aviva · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess I've outgrown Piers Anthony. This book was not the pleasurable fun romp that I remember from his earlier books.

[Renae · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Xanth series is such a fun little bit of nonsense that still manages to sneak in a moral lesson. They're all quick, amusing reads. A fast vacation in Xanth is good for the soul.

[KarenMichelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read xanth for the puns and the characters. Characters weren't bad neither were the puns but as there is an adult conspiracy there ought to be no sex in Xanth.

[Christi Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

To be quite frank, I stopped in the middle. I guess I outgrew them. I was so excited to see a new book in the Xanth series. Done with the pun.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Felt like the premise was wearing thin. Lots of random encounters that stretched out the story.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

Well Tempered Clavicle is the thirty-fifth book in the Xanth series by Piers Anthony. Like I have said before, this series gets zanier and zanier- with plenty of humour, play on words, off-beat characters, and imaginative storylines. This book is certainly all of that and more. Picka Bones is an animated skeleton, kept alive by the magic of Xanth. His life is pretty laid back and uneventful- until he is challenged by an interesting trio. A bird called Tweeter, a dog named Woofer, and a cat named Midrange. Yes, they too set off to see Magician Humfrey- and end up on a mission....... to track down Pundora's Box. I will leave you to discover what happens next. It's a hilarious romp!

The Xanthe Series is quite a really long series that has spanned many decades. I remember reading the first few books back in the very early 1980’s and was totally captivated by the epic fantasy that unfolded before my eyes. I collected all the books as each new one was released and have revisited them a few times over the years.
I can honestly say that although these books didn’t blow me away as they did the first couple of times I read them- I still really enjoyed all the adventure, magic, swords & sorcery like, epic fantasy that Mr. Anthony is renowned for.
He has imbued his stories with plenty of humour, a playfulness, lots of fun, action, some history, conspiracies, secrets, surprising developments, and much, much more. We meet so many varied and original characters along the way- the books are full of wonderful fictional beasts and paranormal creatures. From centaurs, to demons, dragons, fauns, gargoyles, goblins, golems, harpies, merfolk, elves, nymphs, ogres, zombies, and curse fiends- and a few more I am sure have slipped my mind.
The world of Xanthe is wonderfully rich and vividly descriptive. It is really well written and is so easy to imagine, it came to life before my eyes. Each ‘person’ in Xanthe is born with their own unique magical ability, which is called a ‘talent’. We follow along on many epic adventures and explore the world as the story unfolds.
I have many fond memories of reading this book/series and it’s definitely a series that’s worth exploring- especially for any epic fantasy lover who loves some fun and humour served with their adventure.

Thank you, Mr. Anthony!

[Dorothy Minor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I needed a fantasy book for the library’s winter bingo game; fantasy is not my go-to genre, so I needed help. Melinda, at my library, recommended Well-Tempered Clavicle by Piers Anthony. Now, it is #35 of 47 books in the Xanth series. Melinda assured me that jumping into the series so late in the game would not be a problem for me to understand the story. She was right. She was also correct in telling me the story had many funny moments.

In fact, the story is abundant with puns and other plays upon words. Many readers will enjoy the playful use of the language. I had to marvel at Anthony’s talent at turning a phrase and coming up with puns.

Picka Bones and his sister Joy’nt team up with three creatures: Woofer, a dog, Tweeter, a bird, and Midrange, a cat. Picka wants very much to discover his magical talent. However, in order to do so, he and his friends must go with Princess Dawn to Hades, across the River Styx, to visit Dawn’s twin sister Princess Eve who has married Dwarf Demon Pluto.
While Princess Eve and Dwarf Demon Pluto do have a castle in Xanth, Eve is currently in Hades where she is “ministering to the souls there.”
Here are some examples of the plays upon the language. Remember Picka is a skeleton. When Dawn compliments him, he says, “I do get bone-headed ideas.” She responds, “They are surely good ones.” Readers learn “puns have power in Xanth.” The travelers need to cross a drawbridge, but they cannot find a way except for a “badly frayed rope.” Through a discussion, they move from “frayed knot” to “afraid not.” And that’s just the beginning!

Often, people call puns the lowest form of humor, but consider that for a pun to work, there are two levels. James Geary addresses the pun in Wit’s End: What Wit Is, How It Works, and Why We Need It. He writes, “Despite its bad reputation, punning is, in fact, among the highest displays of wit. Indeed, puns point to the essence of all true wit—the ability to hold in the mind two different ideas about the same thing at the same time.”

Clearly, Piers Anthony has mastered the art of puns. The story moves along with the characters finding their way into and out of many dangers until they are victorious.
While I won’t read all 47 books in the series, I did enjoy Well-Tempered Clavicle and it satisfied a square on my winter bingo card!

[Laura Martinelli · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF AT PAGE 104. I am shocked and disappointed in myself for not getting a lighter and setting my copy on fire after the first encounter with Attila the Pun.

I was actually very excited to get into this. The back copy sounded interesting, it looked fun and light. Talking skeletons! Quests! And then I get to the first chapter and bad visual puns and this is gonna be fun. And then the book turned into a fantasy harem anime. I gave this a fair shot. But given that every single female character flashes the male characters, is obsessed with sex, and it’s this insulting and the near rape and I’m done. Done.

(Yes, I did read the author’s note. Yes, I feel sorry for him and his family and no one should have to go through that. It does not excuse what’s written in this book, and how it’s written.)

Would I like to read an earlier Piers Anthony book? I would, if someone could sell me on it. But from what I’m reading up on his more recent stuff, then yes, I made a terrible mistake by picking this specific book. However, my feelings remain the same on the whole “LOOK PANTY SHOT.” Fuck this.

[Kirsti · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've had this book on my to-read list for a long time, while I hunted down a copy. Piers Anthony's books aren't exactly common in Australia, and I live in a small town with one bookstore that sells new books, one second hand bookstore, and four general purpose Op Shops, none of which focus very well on their book areas. The secondhand store is overpriced, badly organized and out of the way. The new bookstore has a few nice staff that go out of their way, but also puts books ordered in specifically out in store and they sell before you get a chance to pick up a book you think is waiting for you. I had to order through one of these trustworthy people, and hope my book was still there when I picked it up.

I knew the basic story line already, having read the book after this one, but I still enjoyed it. I like seeing the Princesses pair off, and so far they've made some good choices. It will be interesting to see the next generation emerge.

Really liked this one, five stars!

[Barbi Faye (The Book Fae) · Rating 5 out of 5]

The master of puntastic fantasy pens another home run. Piers Anthony's 35th Xanth novel touches all the bases, and brings it home. His punny books will ALWAYS make me laugh! So, in this adventure in a land that looks an awful lot like mundane Florida, Picka Bones and his sister Joy’nt are off to seek an epic quest with three creatures newly arrived from Mundania, Earth to the lay person...! They turn out to be not what you might have expected!
Please more Xanth novels, Piers! Always five and a half stars!

[David Marshall · Rating 1 out of 5]

It was a terrible mistake on my part to give into curiosity to see whether Piers Anthony could still write anything worth reading. This is dire. Unless, of course, you're a fan. In which case, this is another brilliant addition to the Xanth series.

http://opionator.wordpress.com/2012/0...

[Lin Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Many many puns but the story was good as always.

[Henry Kline · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another good Xanth novel.

[Zheena · Rating 2 out of 5]

Piers Anthony's Well-Tempered Clavicle follows the basic formula for the other Xanth books: A group of characters come together by chance, visit the Good Magician, and proceed on a quest. While traveling all over Xanth encountering puns and mini adventures, members of the party will find romance somewhere along the way. But after reading the first few chapters it just felt like Piers wasn't really trying, so I then decided to read the author's note. I then realized even he admitted that it was off and I now understood why it was off. The puns weren't the problem, it was more to do with all the recaps to everyone they met. It also was a bit choppy with characters being introduced and then dealt with so quickly. This just felt like the premise was wearing thin. Lots of random encounters that stretched out the story but not a good enough story that made me want more.

[Stuart Schneider · Rating 2 out of 5]

The only reason that this book made it above 1 1/2 stars is the possibility that due to the plot line of this story, that all the puns will be destroyed in the next installment of this series when they are stuffed in the pun box and eliminated by a demon named after a low level gambler. Also, that Bink and Chameleon made a guest appearance in the middle of this novel. This plot line alone had to be the dumbest of the dumb with animated skeletons (not alive) and humans doing the stork summoning. With magic, we are reminded that anything is possible, which means with magic we can find even dumber and dumber plots to think of. Again, I emphasize to those bothering to read this series not to read it all at once like I have since #20 (I just have to see this through for my own sanity) but read one per year, and read it very quickly so that you do not have to burden yourself with memorizing it.

[Keith Beasley-Topliffe · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the 2011 Xanth book. There are so many that it’s easier to number them by year. I’ve had this one for several years and finally got around to reading it. It’s certainly on brand with many atrocious puns and many returning characters from recent books and long past ones. This one focuses on Princess Dawn and the living skeleton Picka Bones, an odd couple even with the help of magic. There are more hints of the early history of Xanth. Lots of nice stuff. But somehow, at least until near the end, I had to push my way through the story. That’s why just 3 stars.

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF 150 after the skeleton rape scene. I was looking forward to revisiting the fantastical adventures I remembered from Anthony in my youth and was confronted with a story about how all men are shallow sex addicts and all women can do is manipulate them with their bodies. Literally what is the point of a magical animated skeleton if you're just going to put flesh on them so they can have sex?? Didn't even make a boner pun after all that. Gross and disappointing.

[Kate H · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Xanth books by Piers Anthony were one of the first SciFi/Fantasy series I ever read. I love puns so I have always enjoyed them. Upon re-reading them I can see that they have some weaknesses but overall they stand the test of time. They are a fun and fast read that keeps me amused without any deep thinking required.

[Chantille · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was drawn in by the title and weird cover. I have never read Piers Anthony before; perhaps starting with the 35th book in a series was a poor choice on my part. I think I probably would have enjoyed this book when I was a kid, but now it is a little too goofy in a way that I cannot get into. I read chapters 1 and 2 before calling it quits.

[Hazel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this one. It was a fun cohesive adventure. the characters and world were interesting The puns contributed to the world, instead of detracting from it.

[Vader · Rating 3 out of 5]

5 star - Perfect
4 star - i would recommend
3 star - good
2 star - struggled to complete
1 star - could not finish

[Richard Ayars · Rating 3 out of 5]

An improvement over the last couple Xanth novels. But, still doesn't come close to those first few.

[Bill Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting approach with a musical theme - good read!

[David Caldwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the 35th Xanth book. It follows the basic formula for the other Xanth books. A group of characters come together by chance to go on a quest. They start by visiting the good magician Humfrey. They travel all over Xanth encountering puns and adventures. One (usually more) member of the party will find romance along the way. Some people might think that since all of the books follow this formula, that the books aren't that enjoyable. But when you think about it, a lot of TV shows that we watch week after week and year after year also has a set formula. In fact, by having a formula, it makes it very comforting (the equivalent of a big serving of macaroni and cheese or some other comfort food).

In the author's note, Piers Anthony reveals that as he was writing this book, one of his daughters passed away. Needless to say, this threw him off his game and he admits that this was not his best effort. There are a few inconsistencies in the book. The characters are given a letter of introduction but then ignore it when they see that character. Skully says he isn't a normal walking skeleton. He can change the shape of his arms into things like swords but not reform himself like other skeletons. But at least twice , he does that very thing. Even the cover has a small problem. The only centaur mentioned in the book points out that he does not carry a bow and arrows. But on the cover, he is holding a bow and wearing a quiver of arrows. There are a few other small glitches as well. None of these really hurt the story though. They are just little glitches.

Another thing about the Xanth series, is that with all of the puns being sent into Mr. Anthony, he has to force scenes at times to fit them into the book. He even mentions in the author's note that it would be easier to write the books without them. There are some scenes like that in this book.

Even with this minor things, I enjoyed revisiting Xanth. If you are a fan of the series, you know what to expect. If you a fan, you should enjoy it.

[Monique · Rating 1 out of 5]

First off, let me say that this is the first Anthony book I've ever read-- perhaps starting with the latest(?) book in the series has something to do with the result of my reading it.

Secondly, I didn't finish the book. I'm not afraid to stop reading a book if I'm not enjoying it, and this was such a case. I did get about 2/3 the way through, however, and only read that long because I persisted in my thinking that things *had* to get better. They didn't.

**Spoilers Ahead!**

Well, as one may tell by the above, I didn't like this book. Its ridiculous puns and the sheer audacity of Piers to use them is what made me pick up the book, and was good for quite a few laughs and chuckles. That being said, they did get old after a while, but kudos to Anthony for being so ridiculous-- and clever.

But that is about the only good thing I have to say about the book. Predicable, full of 1-angle characters and unrealistic actions, I grew tired of the utter lack of plotting in the book. Unless I missed something quite large, it seems to me that the revelation that a skeleton (yes, a skeleton) was going to be the Princess' love should've been left for the last 30 pages or so, not halfway through, since her finding a suitable husband is the crux of the quest and renders their chasing after Punacious Castle pointless and dull (sorry, I couldn't resist!).
This combined with the repulsive, Mary-Sue-like princess who is about 3 football fields away from lovable, and the fact that all the characters (Midrange, Granola, etc.) arrive at the perfect time with the perfect "magic" gifts makes this book tedious and, besides the aforementioned puns and wordplay, quite... dumb.
There is not point to this story, except to expound on the lack of power that "panties" have over an animated skeleton (as opposed to a living man). There is no greater arc, no higher calling. Save your time unless you want something to numb your mind into a bowl of oatmeal riddled with gnats.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked Well-Tempered Clavicle better than the last Xanth novel, Knot Gneiss. The characters where a little obscure. I miss the original core characters, Bink (although he does make a brief appearance), and Magician Trent. The tension in the earlier novels is missing here. The danger of failure wasn't as great. Where in previous adventures all of Xanth was in peril here the worst that could happen was a Princess had to marry a handsome man whom she did not love although he had a good job, integrity and a castle.

[Kristen (belles_bookshelves) · Rating 3 out of 5]

"It’s amazing what music can accomplish."

I read this directly after Two to the Fifth (Xanth, #32) but I've read as far up asEsrever Doom - which is number 37, so the major resolution of this novel (which musician Princess Dawn will end up with) was something I already knew the outcome of. But, I did enjoy seeing how Caprice Castle came to be inhabited and seeing more of Woofer, Midrange, and Tweeter.

[Lesli Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think it was a great read. I liked all the characters in the book. I liked how all the characters were friends in the past and reaquitted themselves again in Dawn's quest that the king made her go on to find herself and the pundora box to save the kingdom from the puns. She ran into people she knew that wanted to do her in. I liked where her and Picka fell in love with each other at the end of the book and were happy. I liked where the pets were with them and helped them along the journey and helped them.