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The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011
The author of the innovative sex and marriage blog “Married Man Sex Life” brings together his edgy and brilliant advice in a single volume primer delivering the motherload of substance. The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 cherry picks the best ideas of books like "The Mystery Method," "No More Mr. Nice Guy," and the volatile online world of the Pickup Artist a.k.a. “Game” community and merges them with a solid grounding in evolutionary psychology, sociology, biology and behavior modification. The result is a simple, effective plan for men to create sexually exciting marriages for themselves and their wives. The opening covers the underlying ancient “hard-wired” biological and modern social reasons women find men attractive. Athol pulls no punches here and the sexual motivations of women are laid bare. Though rather than framing women as sexually devious and seeking to advantage themselves over men, he explains how their sexual behavior is entirely rational in nature and once understood as such, it becomes very useful information. The second part of the book takes the framework developed in the first part and offers a wealth of tools to put it to practical use. The most important tool is The Male Action Plan, which charges the husband with the task of becoming a better, sexier man and thereby leveraging his increased attractiveness for a better sex life with his wife. As Athol says, "whoever is the most attractive in the relationship is in charge." The third part of the book is a treasure trove of playful sexy and romantic moves women will find charming and engaging. It's clear that Athol could have a harem of young ladies, but here he displays an endless variety of playful instigation to continually charm just one. The final section is a catchall of serious topics on what not to do, how to choose a wife, the current state of marriage law and a crushingly simple approach to dealing with being cheated on. (Want a better man? Leave it where he can find it.)
344 pages, Paperback
First published March 30, 2011
296 people are currently reading
531 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
November 1, 2017
This is one of the book recommendations on the Married Red Pill sub on reddit. I want to say I’m not a red piller, but there are hints of useful information at times there. This book is sort of the same. I guess, there might be a few good ideas in this book, but it’s mainly advice for stupid-ass shitty husbands in the western culture.
Also, something that really made me uncomfortable reading the book is the author’s constant discussions about his personal sex life and details about his wife. Call me old fashioned, but the author telling me how his wife, Jennifer’s, pussy feels or how he fucks her, made me feel like I’m sitting in some guy’s living room while he is feeling up his wife. The whole book is not professionally written. It’s written like some blog post, which it sort of is, since the guy is a blogger. The guy doesn’t really have any credentials nor any scholarly background related to the field. He is just a male nurse who apparently has sex with his wife. A lot of us do that. I guess except the stupid-ass shitty husbands at Red Pill. Those guys probably go, “Wow, that guy has sex with his wife! Such a manly God!”
Also, 80% of the book seems to be about the reader’s wife about to cheat. I wonder how many stupid-ass shitty husbands got paranoid after reading this book and became an even more of an awful husband.
Final note. Author says to understand your wife using this schedule:
Week 1: Menses Starts
Week 2: Normal
Week 3: Ovulation (Day 13-15 usually)
Week 4: PMS
I wanted to put this here so I can remember it, but I'm not sure I'll actually refer to it. Seems like too much work (the author has wife's cycles on his calendar!) and frankly, a bit too creepy.
Also, something that really made me uncomfortable reading the book is the author’s constant discussions about his personal sex life and details about his wife. Call me old fashioned, but the author telling me how his wife, Jennifer’s, pussy feels or how he fucks her, made me feel like I’m sitting in some guy’s living room while he is feeling up his wife. The whole book is not professionally written. It’s written like some blog post, which it sort of is, since the guy is a blogger. The guy doesn’t really have any credentials nor any scholarly background related to the field. He is just a male nurse who apparently has sex with his wife. A lot of us do that. I guess except the stupid-ass shitty husbands at Red Pill. Those guys probably go, “Wow, that guy has sex with his wife! Such a manly God!”
Also, 80% of the book seems to be about the reader’s wife about to cheat. I wonder how many stupid-ass shitty husbands got paranoid after reading this book and became an even more of an awful husband.
Final note. Author says to understand your wife using this schedule:
Week 1: Menses Starts
Week 2: Normal
Week 3: Ovulation (Day 13-15 usually)
Week 4: PMS
I wanted to put this here so I can remember it, but I'm not sure I'll actually refer to it. Seems like too much work (the author has wife's cycles on his calendar!) and frankly, a bit too creepy.
October 9, 2011
Every American male contemplating any sort of interaction with the female of our species should read this book.
It will be offensive to those with foul language sensitivities or those who see sex with their wives as a "dirty, guilty pleasure."
For many the clear revelation of the true nature of woman may be too much to handle.
It will be offensive to those with foul language sensitivities or those who see sex with their wives as a "dirty, guilty pleasure."
For many the clear revelation of the true nature of woman may be too much to handle.
January 8, 2012
Athol has a wonderful writing style. It’s a man-to-man down-to-earth conversation, with a playful acknowledgment that the ladies may be listening in. He goes through complicated topics with a simple, easy to understand fashion. He somehow parsed a lot of knowledge into a digestible format that can be read in practically one night. He’s also pretty entertaining, with certain turns of phrase actually making me laugh out loud.
Whilst the ultimate goal of the book is attaining a better sex life, it may be misleading to think it just talks about sex. This is not a sex manual, or well, solely that. Athol touches on every aspect of a modern marriage and what that means (division of labour, legalities, etc), because the happiness, communication and relationship dynamic between a couple is what ultimately leads to happiness within the sack.
The flow and structure in this book is pretty great for a self-published work. Any errors are pretty minor, unnoticeable and infrequent (by some sleigh-of-hand!). I feel that too great alteration to Athol’s style would actually take away from the charm of it. I might rethink the title slightly, though the advantage is it makes clear links to the blog of the same name. Whilst most of Athol’s book was very strong, I felt his thoughts on dating outside courting the wife/long-term partner were weaker, though the concepts elucidated there were important to courtship within marriage. I wonder what a 2012 revision would hold, and if there really is anything else to add to this book. I look forward to seeing what he comes up with, with reservations. Extra information might make the book much too long, or dilute its main points!
Some of the material is actually drawn from the blog and available for free, but the book is the thing to give it a narrative, holistic and coherent structure. You can come away from the book with a clear action plan (the Marriage Action Plan!) and immediately start making simple improvements.
Athol’s a pretty convincing man. One reason for that is his ensuring that he thoroughly but concisely explains the basis for his approach to marriage, repeating key concepts in a non-redundant but relevant way. He comes across as a moderate pragmatist and an everyday, approachable man who’s easy to relate to. Another reason however is his obvious love and affection for Jennifer, his wife.
I mean the moment I finished reading this book, I just wanted to give it to every man I know thinking of embarking on a serious relationship. And perhaps their women. Or even not thinking of it, but could think of it. Heck, I want to put it on the national school curriculum. Married Man Sex Life instead of utterly ridiculous Romeo & Juliet! Seriously. I’m usually highly critical of any kind of self-help book, and any claims it makes. However, this book is definitely one of those life changers and the most important book for anyone’s long-term relationship life. For $9.99 as a pdf, that’s a bargain!
Whilst the ultimate goal of the book is attaining a better sex life, it may be misleading to think it just talks about sex. This is not a sex manual, or well, solely that. Athol touches on every aspect of a modern marriage and what that means (division of labour, legalities, etc), because the happiness, communication and relationship dynamic between a couple is what ultimately leads to happiness within the sack.
The flow and structure in this book is pretty great for a self-published work. Any errors are pretty minor, unnoticeable and infrequent (by some sleigh-of-hand!). I feel that too great alteration to Athol’s style would actually take away from the charm of it. I might rethink the title slightly, though the advantage is it makes clear links to the blog of the same name. Whilst most of Athol’s book was very strong, I felt his thoughts on dating outside courting the wife/long-term partner were weaker, though the concepts elucidated there were important to courtship within marriage. I wonder what a 2012 revision would hold, and if there really is anything else to add to this book. I look forward to seeing what he comes up with, with reservations. Extra information might make the book much too long, or dilute its main points!
Some of the material is actually drawn from the blog and available for free, but the book is the thing to give it a narrative, holistic and coherent structure. You can come away from the book with a clear action plan (the Marriage Action Plan!) and immediately start making simple improvements.
Athol’s a pretty convincing man. One reason for that is his ensuring that he thoroughly but concisely explains the basis for his approach to marriage, repeating key concepts in a non-redundant but relevant way. He comes across as a moderate pragmatist and an everyday, approachable man who’s easy to relate to. Another reason however is his obvious love and affection for Jennifer, his wife.
I mean the moment I finished reading this book, I just wanted to give it to every man I know thinking of embarking on a serious relationship. And perhaps their women. Or even not thinking of it, but could think of it. Heck, I want to put it on the national school curriculum. Married Man Sex Life instead of utterly ridiculous Romeo & Juliet! Seriously. I’m usually highly critical of any kind of self-help book, and any claims it makes. However, this book is definitely one of those life changers and the most important book for anyone’s long-term relationship life. For $9.99 as a pdf, that’s a bargain!
June 24, 2024
I think the average married man walking down the street could derive lots of value from this book if they took it to heart, but I would be careful implying that this is therefore a good book. For all intents and purposes, this book fits neatly into the red-pill category, with the spin that it’s written especially for married men. Actually, the degree to which the book fits the red-pill category is the degree to which I disliked it—not because I inherently dislike red-pill ideology, but because the parts where the author talked about his own ideas and experiences were far the best parts of the book. When he discussed typical red-pill evolutionary psychology, it was glaringly obvious he was just rehearsing something he had read without any personal experience to connect to it.
I don’t have much of a problem with integrating good ideas from various sources into one, as long as it seems like the author has grappled with the ideas. The problem with this book is that the author subscribes to a red-pill ideology, which results in blind spots and claims he’s unable to back up.
For example, there’s this notion that the prehistoric past, the era by which we got our genetic coding, was ultraviolent within tribes, causing approach anxiety. The reasoning goes that men are afraid to approach women because, in the historic past, men who accidentally approached the alpha male’s women were struck by a boulder in the back of the head. Another example is when he writes, “The textbook method of dealing with a man interested in your woman would have been a spear tip shoved repeatedly into his chest.” The problem, of course, is that this is not plausible at all, and there’s no data to support it.
No serious anthropologist would support such a claim, as it’s based on a Flintstonized perception of prehistoric living. Judging by how fast this meme spread across the manosphere, I suspect that it has, at least superficially, helped men see their approach anxiety differently and overcome it to some degree. However, I don’t think anything can be sustained by lies.
The evopsych so-so stories, stated confidently as if fact, were definitely my least favorite parts of the book. For example, he writes that modern courtship, which involves “going out for dinner” and “getting the girl home,” is designed to advertise to the woman that you can provide food and shelter, which are attractive because they are prerequisites for making babies.
There were many things in the book that were just flat-out wrong, and in other places, he seemed out of touch. At one point, I was flipping through pages and constantly finding things that were factually wrong. On many occasions, I found myself reacting with “What the fuck?” or just laughing at the stupidity of the claims. Nevertheless, some ideas were interesting, among them some techniques on how to make spanking sound louder (adjust your palm to the shape of her butt), and gave me ideas on expressing everyday dominance.
While much of the book fit neatly into the classical red-pill category, there were quite a few ideas I could appreciate. In particular, I liked the idea that instead of Alpha/Beta being antagonistic attributes of a man, they are both to be cultivated and balanced for a married man. This is reminiscent of Daniel Rose’s emphasis that domination and emotion are not mutually exclusive, a framework I’ve found personally helpful.
The idea is that, to be the best husband material, you need to be both Alpha and Beta, mastering these aspects, leveling up the intensity to which you can embody them, and finding a good balance, including timing and context. Beta means being a man she likes being around, while Alpha means being a man she wants to get fucked by. In Kay’s use of the terms, good Beta qualities are signaled by things like having a dog, whereas good Alpha qualities are signaled by having a six-pack. While the Alpha/Beta traits are a useful perspective, ultimately, they complement each other well, and it is useful to think of them as complementary, opposite forces.
The author put a lot of emphasis on understanding women’s menstrual cycles because women’s behavior and responses are partly determined by their stage in the cycle. He writes that soft Beta male behavior is more preferable during PMS, whereas dominant Alpha behavior is preferable during ovulation. The way this works is that on day 1, meaning the start of her bleeding, she generally feels unsexy and emotional. Typically, around two weeks afterward, she will be around ovulation, which spikes her sexual interest and makes her feel more feminine and outgoing. Around day 21, it’s common to have premenstrual symptoms, including emotional rollercoasters and sometimes physical symptoms too. This is the time she reacts the least to dominant Alpha male behavior.
I think keeping the menstrual cycle in mind can be a helpful reminder that women are emotional and dynamic. However, people are far too complex to predict certain outcomes or behaviors to the degree the author is espousing, which can lead to overthinking and overcomplicating things.
The central message of the book, which makes it a self-help book, is the “Male Action Plan,” an outline of what to do to improve the sex life of your marriage. The central idea is that of SMV, which rates men’s and women’s attractiveness on the dating market on a scale from 1 to 10. The core tenet of the book is to improve yourself rather than trying to fix your wife if your sex life sucks or if she refuses sex altogether. The tips include starting to work out to get physically fit, learning new skills, dressing better, learning how to flirt, learning game and social skills, doing more around the house, being better with the kids, etc. Once you’ve bumped your SMV above hers, she will start getting anxious to make herself more desirable as well. More importantly, she will now be attracted to you. Kay’s message is that instead of trying to negotiate and plead for sex, you simply work on yourself to make her intrinsically attracted to you. All of this is good and dandy and I agree with the author for the most part. But the raw fact is that this is a self-help book that says “You should be better,” which, well, is only news to those who are utterly clueless.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading the book overall, especially when he relates things to his own life and the examples of how to be more dominant and dealing with parenting, and when she asks if she looks fat in these pants. Some ideas include saying, “Be in the car in 10 minutes,” and then driving to a restaurant you’ve chosen. I think he’s right that women find being submissive inherently stimulating, and “I’m bored” (in this relationship) might translate well into “Please dominate me.”
The book really shined when the author talked about his personal experiences, and his writing was sometimes on-point and genuinely funny. Nevertheless, the friction between me and the author stems from his materialistic perspective and overemphasis on hormones and evolutionary psychology. He claims, for example, that romantic feelings are simply hormones inside of you, making you feel as you do. Repeated cuddling, orgasms, and kisses have conditioned you to feel oxytocin and vasopressin, and this is the bedrock causality of your feelings. I, however, tend to think that hormones are the medium through which spirit expresses itself. Because we’ve learned how to manipulate feelings through hormones, we’ve falsely concluded that they are the root reality of our psychology and the ultimate means of causality
Anyways…
The book invoked confusion in me regarding the author’s perspective on the purpose of marriage. He writes as if sexual attraction is based on keeping SMV high, in fear of the other partner leaving or cheating, playing on competition anxiety. He comes from the perspective that we live in an era of Marriage 2.0, where we’re married as long as we feel like it, and marriage is some sort of legal benefit, as well as a compromise a man has to take to fulfill a woman’s romantic fairytale fantasies. The author’s framing of marriage denotes a serious relationship, albeit not that seriously. The whole enterprise of “Marriage 2.0” seems bizarre to me. It does not make much sense to marry if either of you intends to get divorced if things go wrong, only to have to ask the government for permission to separate. Kay tried to justify the benefits of marriage, but he mixes marriage with having kids and having a stable relationship in cohabitation. He mentions a study that said married men are generally happier, but this seems outdated and based on false causality. A paper from 2019 found that there isn’t any subjective well-being difference between men and women in cohabitation vs. marriage.
To conclude, there was a lot of false information and evo psych that made me roll my eyes, and I felt that the author is out of touch probably because he's only been married to one woman while he makes generalizations based on things he has read, which he just passes on in faith. While it was overall an interesting read, it was not very good. It's ok. Lastly, I must give big creds for not publishing this anonymously. Inspiring.
I don’t have much of a problem with integrating good ideas from various sources into one, as long as it seems like the author has grappled with the ideas. The problem with this book is that the author subscribes to a red-pill ideology, which results in blind spots and claims he’s unable to back up.
For example, there’s this notion that the prehistoric past, the era by which we got our genetic coding, was ultraviolent within tribes, causing approach anxiety. The reasoning goes that men are afraid to approach women because, in the historic past, men who accidentally approached the alpha male’s women were struck by a boulder in the back of the head. Another example is when he writes, “The textbook method of dealing with a man interested in your woman would have been a spear tip shoved repeatedly into his chest.” The problem, of course, is that this is not plausible at all, and there’s no data to support it.
No serious anthropologist would support such a claim, as it’s based on a Flintstonized perception of prehistoric living. Judging by how fast this meme spread across the manosphere, I suspect that it has, at least superficially, helped men see their approach anxiety differently and overcome it to some degree. However, I don’t think anything can be sustained by lies.
The evopsych so-so stories, stated confidently as if fact, were definitely my least favorite parts of the book. For example, he writes that modern courtship, which involves “going out for dinner” and “getting the girl home,” is designed to advertise to the woman that you can provide food and shelter, which are attractive because they are prerequisites for making babies.
There were many things in the book that were just flat-out wrong, and in other places, he seemed out of touch. At one point, I was flipping through pages and constantly finding things that were factually wrong. On many occasions, I found myself reacting with “What the fuck?” or just laughing at the stupidity of the claims. Nevertheless, some ideas were interesting, among them some techniques on how to make spanking sound louder (adjust your palm to the shape of her butt), and gave me ideas on expressing everyday dominance.
While much of the book fit neatly into the classical red-pill category, there were quite a few ideas I could appreciate. In particular, I liked the idea that instead of Alpha/Beta being antagonistic attributes of a man, they are both to be cultivated and balanced for a married man. This is reminiscent of Daniel Rose’s emphasis that domination and emotion are not mutually exclusive, a framework I’ve found personally helpful.
The idea is that, to be the best husband material, you need to be both Alpha and Beta, mastering these aspects, leveling up the intensity to which you can embody them, and finding a good balance, including timing and context. Beta means being a man she likes being around, while Alpha means being a man she wants to get fucked by. In Kay’s use of the terms, good Beta qualities are signaled by things like having a dog, whereas good Alpha qualities are signaled by having a six-pack. While the Alpha/Beta traits are a useful perspective, ultimately, they complement each other well, and it is useful to think of them as complementary, opposite forces.
The author put a lot of emphasis on understanding women’s menstrual cycles because women’s behavior and responses are partly determined by their stage in the cycle. He writes that soft Beta male behavior is more preferable during PMS, whereas dominant Alpha behavior is preferable during ovulation. The way this works is that on day 1, meaning the start of her bleeding, she generally feels unsexy and emotional. Typically, around two weeks afterward, she will be around ovulation, which spikes her sexual interest and makes her feel more feminine and outgoing. Around day 21, it’s common to have premenstrual symptoms, including emotional rollercoasters and sometimes physical symptoms too. This is the time she reacts the least to dominant Alpha male behavior.
I think keeping the menstrual cycle in mind can be a helpful reminder that women are emotional and dynamic. However, people are far too complex to predict certain outcomes or behaviors to the degree the author is espousing, which can lead to overthinking and overcomplicating things.
The central message of the book, which makes it a self-help book, is the “Male Action Plan,” an outline of what to do to improve the sex life of your marriage. The central idea is that of SMV, which rates men’s and women’s attractiveness on the dating market on a scale from 1 to 10. The core tenet of the book is to improve yourself rather than trying to fix your wife if your sex life sucks or if she refuses sex altogether. The tips include starting to work out to get physically fit, learning new skills, dressing better, learning how to flirt, learning game and social skills, doing more around the house, being better with the kids, etc. Once you’ve bumped your SMV above hers, she will start getting anxious to make herself more desirable as well. More importantly, she will now be attracted to you. Kay’s message is that instead of trying to negotiate and plead for sex, you simply work on yourself to make her intrinsically attracted to you. All of this is good and dandy and I agree with the author for the most part. But the raw fact is that this is a self-help book that says “You should be better,” which, well, is only news to those who are utterly clueless.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading the book overall, especially when he relates things to his own life and the examples of how to be more dominant and dealing with parenting, and when she asks if she looks fat in these pants. Some ideas include saying, “Be in the car in 10 minutes,” and then driving to a restaurant you’ve chosen. I think he’s right that women find being submissive inherently stimulating, and “I’m bored” (in this relationship) might translate well into “Please dominate me.”
The book really shined when the author talked about his personal experiences, and his writing was sometimes on-point and genuinely funny. Nevertheless, the friction between me and the author stems from his materialistic perspective and overemphasis on hormones and evolutionary psychology. He claims, for example, that romantic feelings are simply hormones inside of you, making you feel as you do. Repeated cuddling, orgasms, and kisses have conditioned you to feel oxytocin and vasopressin, and this is the bedrock causality of your feelings. I, however, tend to think that hormones are the medium through which spirit expresses itself. Because we’ve learned how to manipulate feelings through hormones, we’ve falsely concluded that they are the root reality of our psychology and the ultimate means of causality
Anyways…
The book invoked confusion in me regarding the author’s perspective on the purpose of marriage. He writes as if sexual attraction is based on keeping SMV high, in fear of the other partner leaving or cheating, playing on competition anxiety. He comes from the perspective that we live in an era of Marriage 2.0, where we’re married as long as we feel like it, and marriage is some sort of legal benefit, as well as a compromise a man has to take to fulfill a woman’s romantic fairytale fantasies. The author’s framing of marriage denotes a serious relationship, albeit not that seriously. The whole enterprise of “Marriage 2.0” seems bizarre to me. It does not make much sense to marry if either of you intends to get divorced if things go wrong, only to have to ask the government for permission to separate. Kay tried to justify the benefits of marriage, but he mixes marriage with having kids and having a stable relationship in cohabitation. He mentions a study that said married men are generally happier, but this seems outdated and based on false causality. A paper from 2019 found that there isn’t any subjective well-being difference between men and women in cohabitation vs. marriage.
To conclude, there was a lot of false information and evo psych that made me roll my eyes, and I felt that the author is out of touch probably because he's only been married to one woman while he makes generalizations based on things he has read, which he just passes on in faith. While it was overall an interesting read, it was not very good. It's ok. Lastly, I must give big creds for not publishing this anonymously. Inspiring.
March 18, 2015
Read this a few years back, in the middle of my (painful, expensive, excruciatingly prolonged) divorce.
It's based upon the psychology and principles of the PUA (pick up artist) culture or "Game" - e.g. neurolinguistic programming, evolutionary biology, male/female psychology, alpha vs beta male behavior and female perception thereof.
But, it's applied to monogamous relationships.
It's actually a tricky tightrope for a married man. If you are not enough of an Alpha male (dominant and strong), you will lose the sexual attraction of your mate - it's biology. If you aren't enough of a Beta male (doing the dishes, taking care of the kids) you will lose the respect and support of your mate. You have to be both, at the right times, and often at the same time.
It gave me some revelations that I think have helped in framing my subsequent relationships.
For example, sex is part of the marriage or long-term monogamous relationship contract (medical conditions aside). Withholding sex (or masturbating to the point of not wanting sex, or getting sex elsewhere) is unacceptable, for either party, and it's better to be clear about that expectation up front, and during, and also clearly state that the relationship should (and will) end if that part of the contract isn't fulfilled. A relationship without sex is a relationship without fully sharing love, and life is too precious and short to stay in that kind of a relationship.
So, if you're a married man, I'd highly recommend this book.
It's based upon the psychology and principles of the PUA (pick up artist) culture or "Game" - e.g. neurolinguistic programming, evolutionary biology, male/female psychology, alpha vs beta male behavior and female perception thereof.
But, it's applied to monogamous relationships.
It's actually a tricky tightrope for a married man. If you are not enough of an Alpha male (dominant and strong), you will lose the sexual attraction of your mate - it's biology. If you aren't enough of a Beta male (doing the dishes, taking care of the kids) you will lose the respect and support of your mate. You have to be both, at the right times, and often at the same time.
It gave me some revelations that I think have helped in framing my subsequent relationships.
For example, sex is part of the marriage or long-term monogamous relationship contract (medical conditions aside). Withholding sex (or masturbating to the point of not wanting sex, or getting sex elsewhere) is unacceptable, for either party, and it's better to be clear about that expectation up front, and during, and also clearly state that the relationship should (and will) end if that part of the contract isn't fulfilled. A relationship without sex is a relationship without fully sharing love, and life is too precious and short to stay in that kind of a relationship.
So, if you're a married man, I'd highly recommend this book.
October 16, 2019
Get this Book
I wish I would have read this book when it first came out in 2011. I was a chump and didn’t even realize I was. After reading this book I’m sorry to say I was a respected successful businessman by day and a chump by night. With the knowledge within this book and just a few changes in behavior and boundaries spelled out in this book it would have been a game changer.
If your in a or nearly sexless marriage and don’t know why get this book and find out. Most importantly get the knowledge to take action. From fixing the problem if you are able. If she’s not willing to change and you have followed the MAP in this book then get out.
If you think it’s ok to be in a sexless marriage and treated poorly to boot don’t buy this book. Take it from an X Chump it’s not ok it’s a slow painful death. This book is the antidote
I wish I would have read this book when it first came out in 2011. I was a chump and didn’t even realize I was. After reading this book I’m sorry to say I was a respected successful businessman by day and a chump by night. With the knowledge within this book and just a few changes in behavior and boundaries spelled out in this book it would have been a game changer.
If your in a or nearly sexless marriage and don’t know why get this book and find out. Most importantly get the knowledge to take action. From fixing the problem if you are able. If she’s not willing to change and you have followed the MAP in this book then get out.
If you think it’s ok to be in a sexless marriage and treated poorly to boot don’t buy this book. Take it from an X Chump it’s not ok it’s a slow painful death. This book is the antidote
January 20, 2015
interesting, simple, and to the point, but the harsh realities are revealed
Good stuff, common sense, but some science that the average layperson may not know. It can and should help every heterosexual couple.
Note to the AUTHOR: please drop the "laid like tile" phrase. It's sophomoric, and you overuse it to a fault in this book.
Good stuff, common sense, but some science that the average layperson may not know. It can and should help every heterosexual couple.
Note to the AUTHOR: please drop the "laid like tile" phrase. It's sophomoric, and you overuse it to a fault in this book.
September 14, 2015
I admire the author's tenacity. I don't know if it helped me that much, necessarily. Though it did keep me focused on a lot of important things in a marriage.
This is definitely one way to do it. But I don't know if I agree with all of it.
The one bit of concrete, full on win, straight dope, accurate advice this book does give is: get your fat ass in shape.
This is definitely one way to do it. But I don't know if I agree with all of it.
The one bit of concrete, full on win, straight dope, accurate advice this book does give is: get your fat ass in shape.
February 5, 2013
Lots and lots of info about human's chemistry
April 7, 2013
A bit goofy at times but anyone in a relationship should read this.
August 24, 2013
300 odd pages to remind you to man up. Sounds terrible but actually really enjoyable and excellent for focussing self-analysis in a constructive way.
February 4, 2014
Changed my life. One of the best books I have ever read. Saved my marriage.
April 3, 2016
Funny Yet Practical
I wish I had this book 20 years ago. Humorous, frank, and full of good information that surpasses others in the category. Highly recommended.
I wish I had this book 20 years ago. Humorous, frank, and full of good information that surpasses others in the category. Highly recommended.
December 26, 2016
The best on the the subject.
January 5, 2020
It's fair to say that this book has reached far beyond my expectation. The key note here is that I read mostly on Science/Technology/Sci-fi, etc; I seldom read love-fair stories and I dropped "Pride and Prejudice" before I even finished chapter 1; even less to write an authentic review on books of sexual relationship management.
But this book it's the real deal. When the writer frequently introduced his ideologies with "The time before writing (or Caveman theory)" you'd know he has done extensive research in understanding how our ancestors behaved in a relationship millions of years ago.
Why does it matter? Because most of the issues occur in our generation can trace back their roots when Homo-Sapiens started to use tools to build homes or fight each other. We are nearly identical to our origins in terms of how our brains and DNA are constructed, that there's a reason for why we say what we say and why we do what we do.
If you somehow managed to understand why our ancestors passed on some certain genes or why we behave in certain ways under given circumstances, you will gain a deeper insight into why our relationship doesn't work.
You don't have to find yourself trapped in a relationship to start reading this book, you can simply be interested in human behavior and this book will supplyment you with abundant resources and contents in humorous narrative.
Here are some interesting quotes I took from the book:
Your choice of wife is the biggest decision of your life. Who you marry will shape your life forever in ways you can’t yet imagine.
You really have to break your mind of the illusion that when she’s done taking a bath, the church comes over and takes it away as holy water. She’s a normal human being and we all have our price point where we become capable of almost anything
Marriage is at its heart, a sexual relationship. Without the sex it's just a legally binding friendship, which is a needlessly complicated way of having a friend.
One of the key signals that a male has social dominance is his confidence, thus women are highly attracted to displays of confidence in men.
The best Alpha display is that you're just going to make your way in the world with confidence and succeed at whatever it is that you're going to do. Opinions of the rest of the world be damned, you're your own man
But this book it's the real deal. When the writer frequently introduced his ideologies with "The time before writing (or Caveman theory)" you'd know he has done extensive research in understanding how our ancestors behaved in a relationship millions of years ago.
Why does it matter? Because most of the issues occur in our generation can trace back their roots when Homo-Sapiens started to use tools to build homes or fight each other. We are nearly identical to our origins in terms of how our brains and DNA are constructed, that there's a reason for why we say what we say and why we do what we do.
If you somehow managed to understand why our ancestors passed on some certain genes or why we behave in certain ways under given circumstances, you will gain a deeper insight into why our relationship doesn't work.
You don't have to find yourself trapped in a relationship to start reading this book, you can simply be interested in human behavior and this book will supplyment you with abundant resources and contents in humorous narrative.
Here are some interesting quotes I took from the book:
Your choice of wife is the biggest decision of your life. Who you marry will shape your life forever in ways you can’t yet imagine.
You really have to break your mind of the illusion that when she’s done taking a bath, the church comes over and takes it away as holy water. She’s a normal human being and we all have our price point where we become capable of almost anything
Marriage is at its heart, a sexual relationship. Without the sex it's just a legally binding friendship, which is a needlessly complicated way of having a friend.
One of the key signals that a male has social dominance is his confidence, thus women are highly attracted to displays of confidence in men.
The best Alpha display is that you're just going to make your way in the world with confidence and succeed at whatever it is that you're going to do. Opinions of the rest of the world be damned, you're your own man
February 14, 2024
First half is good. second half not so much.
If, as a man, and husband, you have really spent little time thinking about the ongoing dynamics of the relationship between a husband and wife, you might find the first half of the book interesting and reflective on your own relationship.
It a lot of bro-science and barbershop advice, but a worthwhile read about self improvement and ways you might enhance your relationship, and think about the complexities that your partner might be feeling.
The second half seemed as if I was the subject of the author’s sexual fantasy about making me read about him and his wife.
The book concludes with some well rounded thoughts and summary.
Overall a good read.
If, as a man, and husband, you have really spent little time thinking about the ongoing dynamics of the relationship between a husband and wife, you might find the first half of the book interesting and reflective on your own relationship.
It a lot of bro-science and barbershop advice, but a worthwhile read about self improvement and ways you might enhance your relationship, and think about the complexities that your partner might be feeling.
The second half seemed as if I was the subject of the author’s sexual fantasy about making me read about him and his wife.
The book concludes with some well rounded thoughts and summary.
Overall a good read.
February 13, 2019
This is a great book full of ideas for husbands to reclaim their relationship with their wives. Parts of this book are hard to get through and appear to be quite rough, emotionally to put into practice. Although, they make sense and the way Athol Kay breaks it down, it is easy to comprehend the ideals and put into action. I will keep this book handy and refer to it often as I work though and put it into action. I recommend this book to every man regardless of marital status.
December 16, 2019
What I liked about this book comparing to other red-pilled material is more focus on beta/alpha balance and the balance _is_ important. Other than that, there is nothing new comparing to a better book by Bluepill Professor.
The author writes _a lot_ about his own wife and having in mind that his wife is naturally submissive all the anecdote based advice sometimes feels inappropriate for a different case.
The author writes _a lot_ about his own wife and having in mind that his wife is naturally submissive all the anecdote based advice sometimes feels inappropriate for a different case.
December 31, 2019
Lots of good advice, coming from a man who has put to practice everything he's recommending.
Remember, though, your mileage will vary. Right at the end, Kay mentions that while he was dating the woman he would marry, she confirmed she was super-duper excited about having lots of sex once she got married. His wife has always dreamed of having sex every night. Your wife might be different. Good luck.
Remember, though, your mileage will vary. Right at the end, Kay mentions that while he was dating the woman he would marry, she confirmed she was super-duper excited about having lots of sex once she got married. His wife has always dreamed of having sex every night. Your wife might be different. Good luck.
November 4, 2018
Good reminder on how to keep attraction alive after a long time in a relationship, sadly the lack of experience of the author with other women shows in the way that there are key missing patterns and other elements to deal with.
Overall it's stimulating but not so insightful if you already had some experience in relationships/
Overall it's stimulating but not so insightful if you already had some experience in relationships/
June 3, 2018
Could be more refined
It is a mixture of rollo ideas and some other red pill supporters. Although it lost strength with elabotaring single success of author and his wife in sexual excursions. Could find some good ideas. But still not so convincing. Anyway, okay for reading.
It is a mixture of rollo ideas and some other red pill supporters. Although it lost strength with elabotaring single success of author and his wife in sexual excursions. Could find some good ideas. But still not so convincing. Anyway, okay for reading.
July 18, 2021
The casual conversation every man should have
Maybe you dad attempted and you resisted with disgust. Maybe dad never mentioned anything about sex. What ever the case, you missed the opportunity or you need a refresher. Read this.
Maybe you dad attempted and you resisted with disgust. Maybe dad never mentioned anything about sex. What ever the case, you missed the opportunity or you need a refresher. Read this.
July 23, 2019
Reading 1/10.
January 10, 2020
Man to Man book
This book is honest and gets to the point. It was great to have read such a gem.
Really apprecaite thw effort.
This book is honest and gets to the point. It was great to have read such a gem.
Really apprecaite thw effort.
Read
May 24, 2020This book changed my life forever. Even as a single man it upped my game and confidence and I would sayv without it I'd still be lost. This should be required reading for any man.
July 21, 2021
This is a good book for people who are or want to be in long term relationships. This is especially good for beginners in LTR. For 10+ LTR it may seem a little repetitive.
October 4, 2021
Worth reading
Opened my mind to a number of new ideas that will be beneficial for my marriage. Would recommend to other married men.
Opened my mind to a number of new ideas that will be beneficial for my marriage. Would recommend to other married men.
February 3, 2022
Good advice, bad advice, no advice-it’s a mixture of all these and more (or less) Probably useful for some people, but rather unnecessary for most. A little bit cringey at times.
April 19, 2023
Thanks
September 26, 2023
A clear roadmap to reach a happy marriage
It's obligatory for any man who is or wants to be in a relationship to study this book. Happy man, happy life.
It's obligatory for any man who is or wants to be in a relationship to study this book. Happy man, happy life.
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