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The Dallas Women's Guide to Gold-Digging with Pride: A Novel
“Here, in the land of conspicuous consumption, marriage isn’t considered a lifelong commitment. It’s the ultimate accessory.”
–from The Dallas Women’s Guide to Gold-Digging with Pride
Jennifer Barton’s life has veered 180 degrees. A transplanted New Yorker now in a Lone Star state of mind, she’s ditched her urban hipster look for the waxed, Botoxed, and blond glow of the Dallas women she now walks among and mingles with.
Jenny’s to be in “tall cotton,” which in Texan husband-hunting terms means sporting a major rock on your finger and seeing the prenup torn up before you walk down the aisle. But learning the local lingo is only the tip of the cactus for Jenny, who is used to picking men based on attraction and long-term compatibility, not net assets. No matter that in Dallas, a husband is “like a Hermès bag or a Chanel coat, a good investment that will mature over time. If he no longer fits, you can trade up to a more luxurious model.”
To Aimee, Jenny’s pretty-as-a-beauty queen roommate (and an expert gold-digger), marrying for material worth is gospel–she’s already successfully managed her first divorce and is on the lookout for husband number two. Jenny has laughed off Aimee’s ideas on flirting and courting (“Never directly engage a man you’re interested in”), but after catching her boyfriend cheating and listening to her mother’s constant laments over her lack of grandchildren, Jenny reconsiders Aimee’s businesslike approach to plan, strategize, conquer.
Under Aimee’s guidance, Jenny finds herself grocery shopping in stilettos, attending skeet shoots and rattlesnake hunts, and traversing the ultimate husband-hunting ground–a Baptist wedding. But in between secretly decoding her targets’ e-mail passwords and breaking into potential mates’ houses to figure out what their interests are, Jenny wonders if love ever enters into the deal.
Welcome to Dallas, where the higher the hair the closer to God. Grab the steer by the horns and sharpen your nails, J. C. Conklin’s hilariously funny debut novel will have you going Texas wild!
–from The Dallas Women’s Guide to Gold-Digging with Pride
Jennifer Barton’s life has veered 180 degrees. A transplanted New Yorker now in a Lone Star state of mind, she’s ditched her urban hipster look for the waxed, Botoxed, and blond glow of the Dallas women she now walks among and mingles with.
Jenny’s to be in “tall cotton,” which in Texan husband-hunting terms means sporting a major rock on your finger and seeing the prenup torn up before you walk down the aisle. But learning the local lingo is only the tip of the cactus for Jenny, who is used to picking men based on attraction and long-term compatibility, not net assets. No matter that in Dallas, a husband is “like a Hermès bag or a Chanel coat, a good investment that will mature over time. If he no longer fits, you can trade up to a more luxurious model.”
To Aimee, Jenny’s pretty-as-a-beauty queen roommate (and an expert gold-digger), marrying for material worth is gospel–she’s already successfully managed her first divorce and is on the lookout for husband number two. Jenny has laughed off Aimee’s ideas on flirting and courting (“Never directly engage a man you’re interested in”), but after catching her boyfriend cheating and listening to her mother’s constant laments over her lack of grandchildren, Jenny reconsiders Aimee’s businesslike approach to plan, strategize, conquer.
Under Aimee’s guidance, Jenny finds herself grocery shopping in stilettos, attending skeet shoots and rattlesnake hunts, and traversing the ultimate husband-hunting ground–a Baptist wedding. But in between secretly decoding her targets’ e-mail passwords and breaking into potential mates’ houses to figure out what their interests are, Jenny wonders if love ever enters into the deal.
Welcome to Dallas, where the higher the hair the closer to God. Grab the steer by the horns and sharpen your nails, J. C. Conklin’s hilariously funny debut novel will have you going Texas wild!
304 pages, Hardcover
First published May 22, 2007
2 people are currently reading
36 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
July 20, 2011
Okay, so I'm not quite sure why I picked this book up. It was sitting on the library shelf staring at me and I became curious. Really? Could this book really be about what the title suggests? Really? No, surely it can't. And it sort of is. But there's more to it than that. I like that the book stays free of judgments and suggests that this is one possible way of life, good or bad. I would never have enjoyed a book on this topic if it hadn't been so incredibly well written. I wish this author would write about something I really do care about; it would be totally amazing. Still, this was good stuff. Full of humor. Occasionally, the author would write a particular phrase and then add a little translation to let us in on the Texas inside jokes. The main characters are interesting and even a little lovable, despite their objectives in life. I didn't anticipate that.
June 5, 2007
This book was so funny I actually laughed out loud a couple times.
It brought me into a sub-culture of women I'd never have access to otherwise -- those who actively marry for money. It was fascinating to see how they maneuvered, interacted with each other and scored their men.
Conklin has a unique voice and smart perspective. I wouldn't title this chick lit as someone else did who recommended it to me. I think it's smarter and more sarcastic than that.
It brought me into a sub-culture of women I'd never have access to otherwise -- those who actively marry for money. It was fascinating to see how they maneuvered, interacted with each other and scored their men.
Conklin has a unique voice and smart perspective. I wouldn't title this chick lit as someone else did who recommended it to me. I think it's smarter and more sarcastic than that.
June 5, 2020
Love the title. Fun read, but left me feeling a little insulted.
September 4, 2011
This book was fun. It kept my interest. The characters were easy to follow and you felt as if you were right there with the characters. I liked it. It ended incomplete I thought.
November 12, 2021
Its as vapid as it sounds. I kept waiting for the redemption and it never came. If you think you would like to be a husband hunter and agree with the values of someone husband hunting then this book is for you. Otherwise, don't waste your time even if the casual mention of actual Dallas locations is a little fun for a Dallasite.
August 30, 2018
This was a fun read that swept me into the husband-hunting world of high society! I sometimes found it hard to keep track of the characters, but that was probably because I didn't have to pay much attention to this easy read.
January 15, 2019
Wasn't particularly rooting for any of the guys she was seeing.
June 26, 2019
For a silly, relaxing summer read, this will do. Especially for those who do not mind a ton of Texas stereotypes and another ton of sugary fluff and nonsense.
November 8, 2023
Quick fun read.
July 17, 2025
A hilarious, sarcastic, and witty perspective into the husband-hunters, or gold-diggers, of Dallas. Never did I want to associate with a group of people less.
March 16, 2008
This is perhaps the most terrifying book I've read in a long time. It's like Upton Sinclair's The Jungle, only with less sausage (sort of) and more hairspray and stilettos. It's like The Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo, and it's equally as horrifying and unable-to-look-awaying.
It's about women who marry for money (and little else), focusing on that particular brand of woman from Texas. It's told from an outside perspective, from a New Yorker, and it's hard to get a read on what the narrator/author really thinks about this strange new world she's inhabiting. (Yet another of those romance/chicklety novels where the author's bio reads startlingly similarly to the plot of the book, only with marginally less conspicuous consumption.)
It's all my worst fears about the current state of male-female relations in stark black-and-white. It's marriage as a commodity, which is vaguely icky but not my main objection per se, because that commodification of marriage is still glossed over with the pretense of affection, and this book is about the lengths to which women (and men) will go to in order to cling to that pretense for as long as the prenup tells them to.
Quite frankly, it's very much like a modern day Georgette Heyer-type novel/Regency romance, except without the comparative innocence and hope. The commodification of marriage is the same, but what irks me is that this is by choice for the Dallas women, compared to the rigid society of Regency England that, at least in fiction, offered very few alternatives. These women have the option of careers, or marrying for love instead of money, or or or. They're often in positions of power or come from money or are otherwise not forced into this bizarre mating dance/ritualistic torture/giant lie, and yet they choose to do so nonetheless.
So it's got a lot of the frivolity and amusement of those Regency romances, balancing the strictures of what these women "need" from a man in order to form an acceptable match and what these women "want" from a man, but it's also got the darker side that those romances rarely touch on - botched liposuction (okay, not so much of that in ye oldene dayes), excessive plastic surgery, drugging oneself to be able to tolerate the touch of one's chosen mate, researching husbands based solely on their stock profile rather than their personal profile (although that seems to reign supreme throughout all romances, here it involves actual breaking and entering and shady financial transactions), and sex toy Tupperware parties. (Can you imagine Jane Bennett's face? Or Mary's?)
I don't know. Maybe I'm more of a romantic than I like to admit. The whole thing is so completely soulless, and yet I cannot look away.
It's about women who marry for money (and little else), focusing on that particular brand of woman from Texas. It's told from an outside perspective, from a New Yorker, and it's hard to get a read on what the narrator/author really thinks about this strange new world she's inhabiting. (Yet another of those romance/chicklety novels where the author's bio reads startlingly similarly to the plot of the book, only with marginally less conspicuous consumption.)
It's all my worst fears about the current state of male-female relations in stark black-and-white. It's marriage as a commodity, which is vaguely icky but not my main objection per se, because that commodification of marriage is still glossed over with the pretense of affection, and this book is about the lengths to which women (and men) will go to in order to cling to that pretense for as long as the prenup tells them to.
Quite frankly, it's very much like a modern day Georgette Heyer-type novel/Regency romance, except without the comparative innocence and hope. The commodification of marriage is the same, but what irks me is that this is by choice for the Dallas women, compared to the rigid society of Regency England that, at least in fiction, offered very few alternatives. These women have the option of careers, or marrying for love instead of money, or or or. They're often in positions of power or come from money or are otherwise not forced into this bizarre mating dance/ritualistic torture/giant lie, and yet they choose to do so nonetheless.
So it's got a lot of the frivolity and amusement of those Regency romances, balancing the strictures of what these women "need" from a man in order to form an acceptable match and what these women "want" from a man, but it's also got the darker side that those romances rarely touch on - botched liposuction (okay, not so much of that in ye oldene dayes), excessive plastic surgery, drugging oneself to be able to tolerate the touch of one's chosen mate, researching husbands based solely on their stock profile rather than their personal profile (although that seems to reign supreme throughout all romances, here it involves actual breaking and entering and shady financial transactions), and sex toy Tupperware parties. (Can you imagine Jane Bennett's face? Or Mary's?)
I don't know. Maybe I'm more of a romantic than I like to admit. The whole thing is so completely soulless, and yet I cannot look away.
June 10, 2013
This was a very comedic look at the "gold-digging culture" in the south. Since my obsession with the south is still growing, this book fascinated me but also made me laugh and be thankful for my life! Jenny is a former New Yorker who moves to Dallas for work and finds herself in the middle of the plastic-surgery, gold-digging, catty Texas culture. Jenny finds herself learning from the best (including her best friend Aimee) and scouting out a husband. Unfortunately, she is not able, like the other females, to put aside her desires for attraction, companionship and a guy she can be with forever. While the other women just want a 2 year marriage with no pre-nup, Jenny can't bring herself to sacrifice for that. The book ends pretty quickly, but is an interesting look at Texas culture and the stereotypes that go along with it.
February 16, 2014
I really really enjoyed this book. I picked it up randomly from the library but was hooked from the first page. The book is chick-lit and more satirical than anything. I'm glad it was a shorter book--the length was appropriate to the storyline. The only thing that was a little odd was the inclusion of religious tension in the South. It seemed to be a little too serious to be dealt with as breezily and as quickly as it was. However, I wanted to read chick lit and not something serious, so if the religious tension had been a bigger part of the storyline, it wouldn't have fit well either.
Very readable escapism. Would never want to be friends with any of these ladies, but I sure don't mind reading about them!
Very readable escapism. Would never want to be friends with any of these ladies, but I sure don't mind reading about them!
January 4, 2008
I read this book for a book club, shamefully very quickly! It is a fast, light read, not very well-written, but entertaining, I guess. Lots of Dallas stereotypes that I don't actually know to be true, but they're funny.
November 19, 2008
Excellent book, fun to read and enlightening. I enjoyed reading about Dallas women and Dallas culture. The end was a little bit abrupt, like the author only had one more page in her limit and had to wrap things up quickly. I enjoyed the mental pictures the writing created.
April 4, 2011
The title while looking silly, and perhaps causing a few strange looks, is perfect and funny. As is the book. Obviously chick lit but one of the better written ones, sometimes ironic and harsh. But there is still the happy ending the genre requires. I really enjoyed this book
June 23, 2016
I really enjoyed this book. I would agree with others that it exposed a world that I had no idea about and I am from Texas! It was an easy read and I finished it very quickly.
A perfect summer read!
A perfect summer read!
July 23, 2007
Fun, frothy, a quick read with some interesting insights into certain Dallas hotspots. Not to be taken seriously.
February 9, 2008
interesting style, decent language. kind of frightening though.
March 12, 2008
entertaining, beachy read
April 2, 2008
This book is very entertaining. If there are women in this world who actually behave like the women in this book, I am truly afraid!
August 9, 2009
Nothing special, hardly any character development.
July 17, 2012
Entertaining book chalked full of Dallas stereotypes. It's good for a few laughs.
March 30, 2014
Really chick-lit.. since I lived in Dallas I was interested and found some of it what I thought to be true.
Read
March 20, 2009Loved this book. So tongue-in-cheek, but so close to Dallas reality! A very quick read!
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews