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This Is Not the Story You Think It Is...: A Season of Unlikely Happiness
By the time Laura Munson had turned 40, her life was not how she thought it would turn out. Career success had eluded her; her beloved father was no longer around to be her biggest cheerleader; and her husband wanted out of their marriage. Poignant, wise, and often exceedingly funny, this is the moment-by- moment memoir of a woman who decided to let go-in the midst of the emotional equivalent of a Category 5 hurricane. It recounts what happened as Munson set out on her spiritual journey-and provides raw, powerful inspiration to anyone searching for peace in an utterly unpredictable world.
354 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2010
73 people are currently reading
1887 people want to read
About the author
Laura Munson
8 books260 followersLaura Munson is the New York Times, USA Today, and international bestselling author of the novel Willa’s Grove (Blackstone), the memoir This Is Not The Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness (Amy Einhorn/Putnam 2010) which Book of the Month Club named one of the best books of the year, and the forthcoming book The Wild Why: Stories and Teaching to Uncover Your Wonder. She has been published in nine countries and has been featured in Vanity Fair, Elle, Redbook, Time, Newsweek, Washington Post, Publisher’s Weekly and many other newspapers, magazines, and online venues across the globe.
Laura speaks and teaches on the subjects of empowerment, creative self-expression, and the language of change, at conventions, universities and schools, writing retreats/workshops, and wellness centers. She is the founder of the acclaimed Haven Writing Retreats and has worked with over a thousand people in locales around the United States, and internationally.
Her work has been published in the New York Times ‘Modern Love’ column, and the New York Times Magazine ‘Lives’ column, with a best-of ranking in both columns, O. Magazine, O.’s Little Book of Happiness, Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, Redbook, Woman’s Day, Good Housekeeping, Ladies Home Journal, More Magazine, The Sun, The Week, Huffington Post, and many others. She has appeared on Good Morning America, The Early Show, WGN, many NPR stations, Hay House radio, as well as other media including London’s This Morning and Australia’s Sunrise. She lives in Montana with her family
Laura speaks and teaches on the subjects of empowerment, creative self-expression, and the language of change, at conventions, universities and schools, writing retreats/workshops, and wellness centers. She is the founder of the acclaimed Haven Writing Retreats and has worked with over a thousand people in locales around the United States, and internationally.
Her work has been published in the New York Times ‘Modern Love’ column, and the New York Times Magazine ‘Lives’ column, with a best-of ranking in both columns, O. Magazine, O.’s Little Book of Happiness, Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, Redbook, Woman’s Day, Good Housekeeping, Ladies Home Journal, More Magazine, The Sun, The Week, Huffington Post, and many others. She has appeared on Good Morning America, The Early Show, WGN, many NPR stations, Hay House radio, as well as other media including London’s This Morning and Australia’s Sunrise. She lives in Montana with her family
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 424 reviews
August 2, 2010
Warning: Rant ahead.
This woman is INSUFFERABLE. I didn't want to read this book and almost quit about 50 pages in because it's such an irritating waste of time, but I've only not finished a bookclub book one time in over 4 years. I can't believe I made it through 350 pages of her poor-little-rich-girl whining. She is shallow and a new-age poser. She wants to be Eat, Pray, Love and doesn't come close. She makes me wish we had a residency test for anyone who wants to move here. She is NOT a real Montanan. Real Montanans don't write crap sentences about the spirits of Indians who used to live in the woods still roaming there. And I got REALLY tired of her talking about living "in the middle of nowhere Montana" and "bumble-fuck Montana" and "this small Montana town." Whitefish is not THAT small, and it's out-of-state, privileged posers like her who made it into the resort town it's become, even though she claims otherwise. (diatribe pause: at the sushi restaurant there, I had one of the best desserts I've ever eaten. Ever.) She and her husband can lament all they want about her not being published, but since she publishes short work and makes money freelancing, she IS in fact A PUBLISHED WRITER. Most irritating of all: her self-indulgent, self-righteous "author's statement," "I write to shine a light on an otherwise dim or even pitch-black corner, to provide relief for myself and others." She is definitely not the kind of person who's going to help me, and nothing in all these pages gave me anything to use in my own marriage. Other elements that annoyed me to no end: quoting all kinds of deep literary or spiritual works - good writers and genuinely in-touch people don't need to do that crap (their writing and wisdom don't need the crutches of quotation marks), going into too much detail about her childhood, and constantly going back to being 20 and her courtship years. Gag me. Move the hell on for Christ's sake. Worst of all, something I cannot forgive, is what her initial and primary reaction was to her husband saying that he didn't know if he still loved her and that he couldn't live with her baggage anymore (I can't live with her baggage being self-created). Because she starts out with those tidbits but then a few (awful, finger-nails-on-chalkboard) chapters in she reveals more of what he said as he left: "...that after more than half our lives together, he needs to be alone before he puts a bullet in his head." So what does she do? Dwells on love and not suffering and unattachment and SHE GOES TO HER OFFICE AND WRITES. Her husbands talks about suicide and she goes to her computer? That could have been a disastrous response. Oh, and the other terrible thing: at one point she writes that she'd rather have the pain of mourning him dead than mourning their divorce. WTF? I love my husband and would choose divorce/cheating/etc. over him being dead. It's great that she kept her head and didn't react in the expected way to her husband wanting out, but her book sucks and I don't like her. She's the kind of person that, if I had to sit near her in a restaurant and overhear her whiny, self-absorbed conversation, I'd want to bang my head on the table. MY husband and I would enjoy rolling our eyes at each other across the table.
I can't believe I had to pay for this waste of natural resources.
This woman is INSUFFERABLE. I didn't want to read this book and almost quit about 50 pages in because it's such an irritating waste of time, but I've only not finished a bookclub book one time in over 4 years. I can't believe I made it through 350 pages of her poor-little-rich-girl whining. She is shallow and a new-age poser. She wants to be Eat, Pray, Love and doesn't come close. She makes me wish we had a residency test for anyone who wants to move here. She is NOT a real Montanan. Real Montanans don't write crap sentences about the spirits of Indians who used to live in the woods still roaming there. And I got REALLY tired of her talking about living "in the middle of nowhere Montana" and "bumble-fuck Montana" and "this small Montana town." Whitefish is not THAT small, and it's out-of-state, privileged posers like her who made it into the resort town it's become, even though she claims otherwise. (diatribe pause: at the sushi restaurant there, I had one of the best desserts I've ever eaten. Ever.) She and her husband can lament all they want about her not being published, but since she publishes short work and makes money freelancing, she IS in fact A PUBLISHED WRITER. Most irritating of all: her self-indulgent, self-righteous "author's statement," "I write to shine a light on an otherwise dim or even pitch-black corner, to provide relief for myself and others." She is definitely not the kind of person who's going to help me, and nothing in all these pages gave me anything to use in my own marriage. Other elements that annoyed me to no end: quoting all kinds of deep literary or spiritual works - good writers and genuinely in-touch people don't need to do that crap (their writing and wisdom don't need the crutches of quotation marks), going into too much detail about her childhood, and constantly going back to being 20 and her courtship years. Gag me. Move the hell on for Christ's sake. Worst of all, something I cannot forgive, is what her initial and primary reaction was to her husband saying that he didn't know if he still loved her and that he couldn't live with her baggage anymore (I can't live with her baggage being self-created). Because she starts out with those tidbits but then a few (awful, finger-nails-on-chalkboard) chapters in she reveals more of what he said as he left: "...that after more than half our lives together, he needs to be alone before he puts a bullet in his head." So what does she do? Dwells on love and not suffering and unattachment and SHE GOES TO HER OFFICE AND WRITES. Her husbands talks about suicide and she goes to her computer? That could have been a disastrous response. Oh, and the other terrible thing: at one point she writes that she'd rather have the pain of mourning him dead than mourning their divorce. WTF? I love my husband and would choose divorce/cheating/etc. over him being dead. It's great that she kept her head and didn't react in the expected way to her husband wanting out, but her book sucks and I don't like her. She's the kind of person that, if I had to sit near her in a restaurant and overhear her whiny, self-absorbed conversation, I'd want to bang my head on the table. MY husband and I would enjoy rolling our eyes at each other across the table.
I can't believe I had to pay for this waste of natural resources.
July 29, 2010
Well, heck. I wrote it. So I love it. I'm proud of its message and I want it to help people. And based on the amazing emails I get all day...it is. Thanks for your support, goodreads!
yrs.
Laura
yrs.
Laura
January 11, 2010
A drunken gerbil could write a better and more closely-reasoned memoir than this.
Hardly any of the sentences or paragraphs make sense.
"It feels like the country fair has come to the town of my mind--complete with sketchy rides, carnies, and sugar-amped kids crying over lost balloons. So loud and disorienting. I want it to pack up and move on to the next town. I want my mind to be an open grassy field again with crickets and dandelions. Besides, my husband isn't there to ring the bell with the mallet--to win us all a stuffed animal which, in that one summer moment, is the most important thing in the world."
Unfortunately, most of the prose doesn't rise to this level of so-awful-it's-hilarious; it just reads like it's been badly translated from Russian:
"[My mother and grandmother:] knew the names of things--fine things. And they taught them to me with seriousness in their brows."
With seriousness in my brow, I'm calling this book one of the worst I've picked up in recent memory.
Hardly any of the sentences or paragraphs make sense.
"It feels like the country fair has come to the town of my mind--complete with sketchy rides, carnies, and sugar-amped kids crying over lost balloons. So loud and disorienting. I want it to pack up and move on to the next town. I want my mind to be an open grassy field again with crickets and dandelions. Besides, my husband isn't there to ring the bell with the mallet--to win us all a stuffed animal which, in that one summer moment, is the most important thing in the world."
Unfortunately, most of the prose doesn't rise to this level of so-awful-it's-hilarious; it just reads like it's been badly translated from Russian:
"[My mother and grandmother:] knew the names of things--fine things. And they taught them to me with seriousness in their brows."
With seriousness in my brow, I'm calling this book one of the worst I've picked up in recent memory.
August 31, 2011
I liked this book. I think I wanted to like it slightly more than I did after I heard about the premise on NPR. Then, when I started the book the author kind of annoyed me. Her trust-fund baby background pushed all my prejudice buttons and set up a nice little tone of resentment that hung between the story and myself and threatened to undo all the possibility for mutuality and connection that is the very heart of enjoying a memoir.
Yeah, and then I got over it. Laura is a little bit spoiled. She had a life that is a little bit too charmed. But she knows it, and she feels a little guilty about it even privileged people, it turns out, can have brilliant experiences that can move others to compassion and inspiration. Her marriage isn't my ideal dream, she isn't who I want to become, she isn't even who I am or have been...but she's got something really grasp-it-between-your-fingers RIGHT and that rightness she discovered is the real inspiration.
I found her writing style sometimes annoying, sometimes pleasant and never breathtaking. I thought her story was sometimes eye-rolling and sometimes relate-able and I thought over all that the resolution was only somewhat convincing. Will they make it? Is four months enough to be able to say that they had "resolved" this marital crisis? I don't know. But I do know that the position of compassion instead of accusation, holding to yourself and solving your own problems instead of jumping to destroy the other person in a conflict is good and healthy and right...however very, very difficult and super un-American it may be.
After I read Munson's book I checked out some of the philosophers who influenced her and some of the writings she says are her bedrock go-to texts and frankly, I found them pretty much inaccessible to me. I don't "get" most of philosophy but I do get Munson's story, the beautiful aroma her book gives off because she steeped herself in the great thinkers and as a wife I hope to carry her kind of respect and compassion both for myself and my husband into my own married life. I hope it's catching.
Yeah, and then I got over it. Laura is a little bit spoiled. She had a life that is a little bit too charmed. But she knows it, and she feels a little guilty about it even privileged people, it turns out, can have brilliant experiences that can move others to compassion and inspiration. Her marriage isn't my ideal dream, she isn't who I want to become, she isn't even who I am or have been...but she's got something really grasp-it-between-your-fingers RIGHT and that rightness she discovered is the real inspiration.
I found her writing style sometimes annoying, sometimes pleasant and never breathtaking. I thought her story was sometimes eye-rolling and sometimes relate-able and I thought over all that the resolution was only somewhat convincing. Will they make it? Is four months enough to be able to say that they had "resolved" this marital crisis? I don't know. But I do know that the position of compassion instead of accusation, holding to yourself and solving your own problems instead of jumping to destroy the other person in a conflict is good and healthy and right...however very, very difficult and super un-American it may be.
After I read Munson's book I checked out some of the philosophers who influenced her and some of the writings she says are her bedrock go-to texts and frankly, I found them pretty much inaccessible to me. I don't "get" most of philosophy but I do get Munson's story, the beautiful aroma her book gives off because she steeped herself in the great thinkers and as a wife I hope to carry her kind of respect and compassion both for myself and my husband into my own married life. I hope it's catching.
May 19, 2016
Memoir of a time in the author's life when her husband said "I'm not sure if I love you" and walked out the door.
I had a lot of hope when I started reading this, but I quickly started skimming, because she repeats herself, and she strikes me as rather smug. I'll skim a few more chapters to see if it gets better, but I don't expect much.
*
I'm still skimming, I've skimmed myself to about 75% of the way done. The author remains quite smug. So disappointing.
A big part of my problem here is the author goes on and on and ON about how she wants to be a writer, she's always wanted to be a writer, and she has been writing novels her WHOLE LIFE (I'd guess she's about 40 when she writes this one, so that's a good twenty years of writing) and she knows she's good, damned good, even the rejection letters she keeps getting tell her so, and ... she's really not a very good writer. I intend to never read another book she's written (if she is ever published again). Ms Munson, if you're reading this, I'm very sorry, I'm sure you're a very nice person and a great mom, but maybe the essay is a better format for you. The Modern Love column really caught my attention.
I had a lot of hope when I started reading this, but I quickly started skimming, because she repeats herself, and she strikes me as rather smug. I'll skim a few more chapters to see if it gets better, but I don't expect much.
*
I'm still skimming, I've skimmed myself to about 75% of the way done. The author remains quite smug. So disappointing.
A big part of my problem here is the author goes on and on and ON about how she wants to be a writer, she's always wanted to be a writer, and she has been writing novels her WHOLE LIFE (I'd guess she's about 40 when she writes this one, so that's a good twenty years of writing) and she knows she's good, damned good, even the rejection letters she keeps getting tell her so, and ... she's really not a very good writer. I intend to never read another book she's written (if she is ever published again). Ms Munson, if you're reading this, I'm very sorry, I'm sure you're a very nice person and a great mom, but maybe the essay is a better format for you. The Modern Love column really caught my attention.
March 27, 2012
When the going got tough... Laura Munson decided not to play the victim. Instead, she was determined NOT to suffer, even when her husband--and the father of her two children--told her he wasn't sure he still loved her. Her response was something akin to "keep calm, carry on," partly because she simply didn't buy it. He was in the midst of financial losses and business woes and she was a convenient target for his angst. Some may have accused Ms. Munson of being in denial; instead, it seems she knew her husband well enough, and loved him fiercely enough, to ask him this question: "What can we do to give you the distance you need without damaging the family?"
Ms. Munson's graceful resolve not to suffer, theoretically, can be applied to ANY situation, not just to a marital crisis. She vowed not to become a ranting and raving shrew--even on nights where her husband slept at the office without calling home. Even when he went off fishing with buddies for days at a time. Even when he sat sullen and speechless at the dinner table. Even when he disappointed their kids on the Fourth of July.
It's not that she wasn't in pain. She was. But she wasn't going to let that pain define her and she wasn't going to be a doormat. Ms. Munson had recently recovered from a lengthy grieving process following her father's death. She didn't want to return to those depths. Sure, she had sleepless nights, angry conversations in her head, and plenty of doubts. Instead of indulging them, she took care of herself, enjoying time with her children, cooking and canning, leaning on female friends for strength, riding her horse, and taking solace in writing--her life's calling.
Reading this book is like getting generous advice from a therapist or an older, wiser woman. Ms. Munson has an easy, conversational style. She tackles serious issues head on, but she also knows when to lighten up. Besides the so-called "self help" aspect of this book, this memoir spins a compelling true tale of a life challenge met with aplomb. It reads like a long, heartfelt letter from a friend.
Ms. Munson's graceful resolve not to suffer, theoretically, can be applied to ANY situation, not just to a marital crisis. She vowed not to become a ranting and raving shrew--even on nights where her husband slept at the office without calling home. Even when he went off fishing with buddies for days at a time. Even when he sat sullen and speechless at the dinner table. Even when he disappointed their kids on the Fourth of July.
It's not that she wasn't in pain. She was. But she wasn't going to let that pain define her and she wasn't going to be a doormat. Ms. Munson had recently recovered from a lengthy grieving process following her father's death. She didn't want to return to those depths. Sure, she had sleepless nights, angry conversations in her head, and plenty of doubts. Instead of indulging them, she took care of herself, enjoying time with her children, cooking and canning, leaning on female friends for strength, riding her horse, and taking solace in writing--her life's calling.
Reading this book is like getting generous advice from a therapist or an older, wiser woman. Ms. Munson has an easy, conversational style. She tackles serious issues head on, but she also knows when to lighten up. Besides the so-called "self help" aspect of this book, this memoir spins a compelling true tale of a life challenge met with aplomb. It reads like a long, heartfelt letter from a friend.
June 6, 2010
UGH! it seems to me that this book is written by a 5 year old! she's SO self absorbed and superior that i didn't like her at all. the premise of the story is good and had potential but this girl blew it. now i know why it took her 20 years to finally get published but i wonder why this one did. TERRIBLE!
September 8, 2010
Wow. What a fun memoir. I loved it. Loved every word. I found this book at our bookstore, and it does not really come out until April. The book is the memoir by Laura Munson, who happens to live in Whitefish, Montana! Can you believe that? I think she is about 8 years older than all of my friends, but she moved to Montana the same year my family did.
The book was also summarized in a New York Times column last August.
In summary, her husband asked her for a divorce, and told her he did not love her anymore…and she responded by telling him she just did not buy it. HA. The article gives away the ending of the story, but that does not mean you should not read the book. I would say the book is kind of like (sorry Elizabeth Gilbert; I think you are wonderful) a less whiny Eat, Pray, Love.
I love how she talks to the reader. I do that to.
Her main point of the book, though, is not about her divorce, but about how she went about letting everything else go, and only seeking to find happiness insider herself. She was the only one who could make herself happy.
When I started working at POGO, Keith told me a story about working at the Gray Panthers. A lot of elderly people would call the Gray Panthers everyday looking for help with problems. Instead of just telling them they called the wrong place, Keith typed up a list of phone numbers for the commonly asked questions. His boss heard him giving out this information and told him to just hang up on the people. Keith told him, he couldn’t.
“You can pick up the phone, or you can put down the phone. You are in control of the phone.”
This phone story is a metaphor for a lot of things I think about in my life. I am in control of the phone. I think Laura feels the same way about happiness: she is in control of her happiness.
She also tells the reader how to grill the perfect burger: don’t turn it over until the juices in the burger are bubbling.
There were lots of places in this book when I wanted to call Laura up and just hang out. She could be in my friend group no problem.
This is her first published book. She has written 14. Can you even imagine? So go out there and get this one!
May 2, 2010
This book was so horrible that I struggled to continue past the 1st chapter...but I did...and persevered to finish the whole horrid mess. Ms. Munson's style of writing is disjointed, juvenile, and filled with unnecessary and gratuitous expletives. She comes across as a privileged, spoiled, self-centered, and materialistic has-been debutante...not the most likable of characters. While we read about her marriage falling apart, it is difficult to dredge up any sort of sympathy for her character, nor for the spineless, selfish, lying, childish estranged husband of hers who is causing her so much grief and turmoil. After 14 previous "books" received publishers rejection letters, I wonder how this one happened to slip through?
P.S. I am rarely this harsh on books, but this one was beyond bad!
P.S. I am rarely this harsh on books, but this one was beyond bad!
November 26, 2014
This book is a great friend to have nearby. Too bad it can't dial, text or meet for overly priced coffee or subpar wine. Pretend it's that silent, knowing friend and you will get some good advice on navigating relationships and being true to yourself. Marriage is hard every single day. But knowing yourself is even harder. Munson bravely exposes herself in this open chronicle of her marriage and we can all benefit from it. Empowerment, judgement, eyerolling, highfives--it's all there. It's all hers and it's yours, too.
June 7, 2010
Just another memoir about white people being sad. Whateves...
November 3, 2013
Well, like they say, don't just a book by it's cover. Or, in this case, it's blurb. I've had this sucker on a to-be-read list since we picked it up for our library system over two years ago, and I was finally at a point to pick it up, give it a shot.
I made it to page 104 and quit.
I'd read Happier At Home by Gretchen Rubin, and this book sounded like it might be in the same vein. I really liked the whole "you are responsible for your happiness and no one else" attitude that was covered in the blurb. But once I got started, I realized this really wasn't the story I thought it was. And neither was the author this "wise" person that the blurb made her out to be.
She says in the very beginning to flip to the back and check out the list of her books that she's reading/refers to in her happiness/finding herself endeavor. There's something like 36 titles! I mean, I'm a bibliophile, don't get me wrong - but I usually have a max of four books at my bedside. And often those are what I think of as "fun" titles, in that I'm reading for my entertainment - not for enlightenment.
The husband's revelation comes pretty quickly, followed by chapter after chapter of her waiting for him to contact her after he leaves their marital home. She talks about their childhoods, how they met, how lucky they have been to have good, stable, middle-income families, how they went the bohemian route somewhat once they got to college, how they finally decided to make it legal, blah blah blah. There's a whole chapter about her father, and while I am completely sympathetic to her desire to please her father, being a bit of a daddy's girl myself, a whole chapter of paternal love was a bit much.
Then there's her incessant droning on about how she could have taken a job at some point after they started having kids and such, but she's an author and she needed her time to write. Never mind that she'd never been published. Never mind that she has many, many "good" rejection letters, the kind that tell her how wonderful her work is but it's "just not right" for that publisher, etc. I mean, I get wanting to do what you love, but when the big economic crash hit us all - when you're own economic crash hits - you've got to look at reality. Rejection letters don't pay bills and won't buy groceries.
The last chapter I managed to slog through was entitled "The Italy Cure". Evidently, Munson had done an academic year abroad, in Italy of course, while in college. And according to her, it was the best year of her life; the food, the culture, the love of the family that hosted her, etc. Well, not too long before her husband tells her he doesn't love her anymore, she listens to a therapist who tells her that instead of whining about how going to Italy would make her feel better, she should just GO. And she does just that, originally offering it up as a family vacation. Hubby declines, and the son isn't keen on the idea, so it becomes a mother-daughter trip. I could live with that, even though I'm still thinking to myself that it isn't a good idea, given that their finances aren't good at that moment. But when she talks about taking this trip so she can "recontact her soul" - I was done.
I don't know if the author and her husband make it or not. At this point, I don't care. What I had hoped would be an interesting look at marriage, and the idea of happiness and such, turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of pretentious twaddle. Maybe that's due to my upbringing, what I bring to the book. I don't know. But I do know that I'm firmly in the one-star or less camp that I've found on some review sites. And that I'm not inclined to look for any more works by Ms. Munson.
I made it to page 104 and quit.
I'd read Happier At Home by Gretchen Rubin, and this book sounded like it might be in the same vein. I really liked the whole "you are responsible for your happiness and no one else" attitude that was covered in the blurb. But once I got started, I realized this really wasn't the story I thought it was. And neither was the author this "wise" person that the blurb made her out to be.
She says in the very beginning to flip to the back and check out the list of her books that she's reading/refers to in her happiness/finding herself endeavor. There's something like 36 titles! I mean, I'm a bibliophile, don't get me wrong - but I usually have a max of four books at my bedside. And often those are what I think of as "fun" titles, in that I'm reading for my entertainment - not for enlightenment.
The husband's revelation comes pretty quickly, followed by chapter after chapter of her waiting for him to contact her after he leaves their marital home. She talks about their childhoods, how they met, how lucky they have been to have good, stable, middle-income families, how they went the bohemian route somewhat once they got to college, how they finally decided to make it legal, blah blah blah. There's a whole chapter about her father, and while I am completely sympathetic to her desire to please her father, being a bit of a daddy's girl myself, a whole chapter of paternal love was a bit much.
Then there's her incessant droning on about how she could have taken a job at some point after they started having kids and such, but she's an author and she needed her time to write. Never mind that she'd never been published. Never mind that she has many, many "good" rejection letters, the kind that tell her how wonderful her work is but it's "just not right" for that publisher, etc. I mean, I get wanting to do what you love, but when the big economic crash hit us all - when you're own economic crash hits - you've got to look at reality. Rejection letters don't pay bills and won't buy groceries.
The last chapter I managed to slog through was entitled "The Italy Cure". Evidently, Munson had done an academic year abroad, in Italy of course, while in college. And according to her, it was the best year of her life; the food, the culture, the love of the family that hosted her, etc. Well, not too long before her husband tells her he doesn't love her anymore, she listens to a therapist who tells her that instead of whining about how going to Italy would make her feel better, she should just GO. And she does just that, originally offering it up as a family vacation. Hubby declines, and the son isn't keen on the idea, so it becomes a mother-daughter trip. I could live with that, even though I'm still thinking to myself that it isn't a good idea, given that their finances aren't good at that moment. But when she talks about taking this trip so she can "recontact her soul" - I was done.
I don't know if the author and her husband make it or not. At this point, I don't care. What I had hoped would be an interesting look at marriage, and the idea of happiness and such, turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of pretentious twaddle. Maybe that's due to my upbringing, what I bring to the book. I don't know. But I do know that I'm firmly in the one-star or less camp that I've found on some review sites. And that I'm not inclined to look for any more works by Ms. Munson.
January 23, 2014
My pastor recommended this book to me, not because my husband has said "I don't love you, and I'm not sure I ever did," but because he knew that this book could apply to anyone enduring a tough relationship. I appreciate Munson's honesty as she shares, sometimes moment by moment, the hardest thing I can imagine in a marriage. This book was like therapy for me. And, since I checked it out from the library, free therapy at that. :)
June 4, 2010
Boring...just another ill-written memoir in the wake of The Middle Place. Not well-written or particularly clever. Leaves no doubt in your mind why her previous 20 novels did not get published...
June 5, 2012
First of all, you should all read this book. Everyone in the world should read this book.
Why? Because it's about relationships. It's about communication. It's about finding your own bliss - not tying all of your happiness up into another person. You must find happiness in yourself.
I started this book and was three pages into it when I realized that a friend of mine who is going through a rough spot in her marriage needed to read it. I told her to go right to the store and get it. She did and it really helped her understand what was going on. I told her it would either help her leave him or help her stay with him and it did.
The phrase "There is a big difference between wanting and creating" comes from this book. And what that means is that we focus our lives on our wants and forget to create our own lives. We don't create roads to get what we want.
Munson wrote this book as a diary of sorts when her husband informed her that he didn't think he loved her anymore. This book is her working through all of the emotions that she is going through. She ponders what will happen to the emotional health of her children. She wonders what she did to deserve this.
Of course, we often assume that WE did something to deserve the treatment we receive. But often it can be about the other person's issues and how they take them out on us. This book explores that.
The book also backs up what I've always said: Men are far more likely to define themselves by their career, while women define themselves by their home and family.
It also discusses the difference between how men and women communicate. I'll be the first to admit that I love to talk an issue to death. Bob would rather let it solve itself. Somewhere in the middle is the best way to handle it.
I highly, highly recommend this book. It should be required reading for all relationships.
Why? Because it's about relationships. It's about communication. It's about finding your own bliss - not tying all of your happiness up into another person. You must find happiness in yourself.
I started this book and was three pages into it when I realized that a friend of mine who is going through a rough spot in her marriage needed to read it. I told her to go right to the store and get it. She did and it really helped her understand what was going on. I told her it would either help her leave him or help her stay with him and it did.
The phrase "There is a big difference between wanting and creating" comes from this book. And what that means is that we focus our lives on our wants and forget to create our own lives. We don't create roads to get what we want.
Munson wrote this book as a diary of sorts when her husband informed her that he didn't think he loved her anymore. This book is her working through all of the emotions that she is going through. She ponders what will happen to the emotional health of her children. She wonders what she did to deserve this.
Of course, we often assume that WE did something to deserve the treatment we receive. But often it can be about the other person's issues and how they take them out on us. This book explores that.
The book also backs up what I've always said: Men are far more likely to define themselves by their career, while women define themselves by their home and family.
It also discusses the difference between how men and women communicate. I'll be the first to admit that I love to talk an issue to death. Bob would rather let it solve itself. Somewhere in the middle is the best way to handle it.
I highly, highly recommend this book. It should be required reading for all relationships.
February 28, 2012
How would you react if your husband suddenly told you he didn't love you anymore (maybe never did) and wanted to leave you? I doubt there are many of us that could step back, take a deep breath, and not take it personally. This is exactly how Munson chose to react (CHOSE being the operative word) and I was impressed with her objective, mature approach. Her plan was to give her husband some space and time, no "guilting" him into staying, no screaming or blaming. She decided to take responsibility for her own happiness and simply love him through it. Ummmmm... wow.
I liked Munson's writing style, very casual and much like she was talking to her girlfriends (she drops the f-bomb now and then--you have been warned). My biggest frustration was her undying patience (ha!). There were plenty of moments I wanted to scream at her for being so dang passive and positive..."kick him out!", "stand up for yourself!", "enough is ENOUGH!" (I'd find myself saying under my breath). However, in the end, I couldn't help but want to give her a big ol' high-five for her tenacity! She had a plan to keep her family together, and she did not waver.
Luckily, her plan worked. After 5(ish) long and painful months, her husband found his way back--in his own time and in his own way. Munson claims that even if her husband had ultimately left, she STILL would have chosen happiness, she STILL would have chosen not to be the victim... and you know what? I believe her.
I liked Munson's writing style, very casual and much like she was talking to her girlfriends (she drops the f-bomb now and then--you have been warned). My biggest frustration was her undying patience (ha!). There were plenty of moments I wanted to scream at her for being so dang passive and positive..."kick him out!", "stand up for yourself!", "enough is ENOUGH!" (I'd find myself saying under my breath). However, in the end, I couldn't help but want to give her a big ol' high-five for her tenacity! She had a plan to keep her family together, and she did not waver.
Luckily, her plan worked. After 5(ish) long and painful months, her husband found his way back--in his own time and in his own way. Munson claims that even if her husband had ultimately left, she STILL would have chosen happiness, she STILL would have chosen not to be the victim... and you know what? I believe her.
July 24, 2013
This is one of those books that really resonated with me. It's a book of direct self-reflection, as the author makes her way through of a marriage going off the rails.
With great honesty, Munson opens herself and her process to the reader's scrutiny... while it's not always pretty, it's clear and forceful.
You get to walk alongside the author as she walks the path of self-discovery... and sometimes, that path leads in a direction you never imagine.
I'm a retired counsellor, and this was a "must read" book for many of my clients.
It's perfect, though, for anyone who is confronting the vagaries of life, and looking for a compassionate walking partner.
With great honesty, Munson opens herself and her process to the reader's scrutiny... while it's not always pretty, it's clear and forceful.
You get to walk alongside the author as she walks the path of self-discovery... and sometimes, that path leads in a direction you never imagine.
I'm a retired counsellor, and this was a "must read" book for many of my clients.
It's perfect, though, for anyone who is confronting the vagaries of life, and looking for a compassionate walking partner.
October 29, 2010
While waiting in the dentist office, I read about this book in a magazine. I really didn't even know what it was about. What intrigued me was the fact the author had been trying to be a writer for years. She had submitted numerous books but this is the first one that was accepted for publication. Of course, she had gotten "wonderful rejection letters". The idea of the article was to not give up hope and keep with your dreams. I was curious what the book she finally got published was about. I had to wait several weeks for this book to come in at the library.
Now, comes what I thought of the book. It is a true accounting of a time when her husband comes to her and says he doesn't love her anymore, they are in great financial trouble, his business is going bust, he doesn't want to be married any more, etc. She decides she still loves him and she doesn't believe him so she is going to take the high road and believe he still loves her and their marriage is going to survive. Ok, all and good. She writes the book chapter by chapter as the drama plays out.
Basically, she let's him do anything and she doesn't get mad or react. He is allowed to come and go as he pleases. He can talk to her in a demeaning way and be unreliable with the two children, a boy of 8 and a girl of 12. In one chapter, he comes home very late one night and sleeps on the couch. She makes a wonderful breakfast in the morning. The idea is, she will give him no ammunition for saying she is the problem. It really isn't about her but that he is going through a life crisis. She is going to wait it out. She does this with the help of her therapist who supports her decision. Of course, friends say "kick the bum out". And, throughout the book, I am with the friends.
She does says she had a very privileged life. She tries the make it not the issue ( the trip to Italy with her right before the whole problem started was paid for with frequent flyer miles, they stayed with a family she had been an exchange student with, etc.). But, for a family in dire economic straights, they show no signs of economizing. She doesn't seem to know her husband's business was going bust. She never even entertains the idea of working and adding to the family income. She encourages the husband to go to South America, take helicopter lessons, etc. to get him to feels he is doing something good for himself. All this seem like something a family truly in financial problems can't afford. In the end, she buys a big ticket item at his encouragement. It is confusing how they are dealing with being in the horrible debt they are supposedly in. She tries to not come off as a pampered, spoiled rich girl, but she does.
Of course, at the end, the marriage seems back on track. I think she is probably always worried about being some perfect wife so it doesn't happen again. Heavens knows what the kids took from it? Moms a pushover and men are allowed to act horribly? This would be my guess. I felt she was proud of how she handled the situation. I felt like slapping her.
Now, comes what I thought of the book. It is a true accounting of a time when her husband comes to her and says he doesn't love her anymore, they are in great financial trouble, his business is going bust, he doesn't want to be married any more, etc. She decides she still loves him and she doesn't believe him so she is going to take the high road and believe he still loves her and their marriage is going to survive. Ok, all and good. She writes the book chapter by chapter as the drama plays out.
Basically, she let's him do anything and she doesn't get mad or react. He is allowed to come and go as he pleases. He can talk to her in a demeaning way and be unreliable with the two children, a boy of 8 and a girl of 12. In one chapter, he comes home very late one night and sleeps on the couch. She makes a wonderful breakfast in the morning. The idea is, she will give him no ammunition for saying she is the problem. It really isn't about her but that he is going through a life crisis. She is going to wait it out. She does this with the help of her therapist who supports her decision. Of course, friends say "kick the bum out". And, throughout the book, I am with the friends.
She does says she had a very privileged life. She tries the make it not the issue ( the trip to Italy with her right before the whole problem started was paid for with frequent flyer miles, they stayed with a family she had been an exchange student with, etc.). But, for a family in dire economic straights, they show no signs of economizing. She doesn't seem to know her husband's business was going bust. She never even entertains the idea of working and adding to the family income. She encourages the husband to go to South America, take helicopter lessons, etc. to get him to feels he is doing something good for himself. All this seem like something a family truly in financial problems can't afford. In the end, she buys a big ticket item at his encouragement. It is confusing how they are dealing with being in the horrible debt they are supposedly in. She tries to not come off as a pampered, spoiled rich girl, but she does.
Of course, at the end, the marriage seems back on track. I think she is probably always worried about being some perfect wife so it doesn't happen again. Heavens knows what the kids took from it? Moms a pushover and men are allowed to act horribly? This would be my guess. I felt she was proud of how she handled the situation. I felt like slapping her.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 26, 2018
I found this memoir while browsing the internet for something other than a forum that could relate to my situation, which is: One day your spouse comes home and says they're not sure they're in love with you anymore. This is exactly what happened to me, and it's exactly what happened to Laura Munson. The similarities don't end there. The behavior her husband experienced (career dysfunction, mid-life crisis, identity crisis, dramatic change in attitude) is the same thing my wife is going through. So needless to say, it captured my attention.
What I was seeking was advice from someone who's been through the situation with concrete examples of what they did and what the results were. I've found myself doing much of the same as Mrs. Munson (Miss, now?) despite not being consistent with it. Bottom line, she goes into detail about how she searched internally for her own happiness and tried not to take her husband's actions personally, while letting him have his space and trying not to suffocate him. Did it work? Yes, at least initially. At the end of her memoir she and her husband were together and happy, although I read somewhere that they did end up splitting up later on.
The good:
-I learned to really try and not let someone else determine your mood.
-I learned to make positive changes for myself instead of dwelling on the negative situation.
-I learned that there is nothing I can do - my wife finding her own happiness, her own peace, is something she'll have to find on her own. There is nothing I can do or say that will help to happen faster that in any way. I can encourage and be present and supporting, but not much else.
-I learned to accept, even though difficult, that certain things are out of my control, regardless of how much I want something. Some things in life are just meant to happen as they may, and there's nothing I can do to change that. This includes a relationship - as much as one person wants it to work out and wants to find a solution, you cannot make someone else do anything, and whatever they decide is just something you have to live with.
The bad:
-Being a memoir, there was a lot of stuff about the author's life that I found myself not caring much about. It's her memoir and she can write whatever she wants, but I found there to be less content about the marriage situation at hand and more about her own personal life. Fine, I guess, but not really what I was hoping for. For that reason, I found much of it boring and uninspiring, and I skimmed through far too much of it. Of the 350ish pages, I'd guess less than a 100 of it was about the relationship and her husband's crisis, which is what I was looking for. So while there were some key points that have helped me in my own mind, there was a lot of content (too much) for such little substance.
What I was seeking was advice from someone who's been through the situation with concrete examples of what they did and what the results were. I've found myself doing much of the same as Mrs. Munson (Miss, now?) despite not being consistent with it. Bottom line, she goes into detail about how she searched internally for her own happiness and tried not to take her husband's actions personally, while letting him have his space and trying not to suffocate him. Did it work? Yes, at least initially. At the end of her memoir she and her husband were together and happy, although I read somewhere that they did end up splitting up later on.
The good:
-I learned to really try and not let someone else determine your mood.
-I learned to make positive changes for myself instead of dwelling on the negative situation.
-I learned that there is nothing I can do - my wife finding her own happiness, her own peace, is something she'll have to find on her own. There is nothing I can do or say that will help to happen faster that in any way. I can encourage and be present and supporting, but not much else.
-I learned to accept, even though difficult, that certain things are out of my control, regardless of how much I want something. Some things in life are just meant to happen as they may, and there's nothing I can do to change that. This includes a relationship - as much as one person wants it to work out and wants to find a solution, you cannot make someone else do anything, and whatever they decide is just something you have to live with.
The bad:
-Being a memoir, there was a lot of stuff about the author's life that I found myself not caring much about. It's her memoir and she can write whatever she wants, but I found there to be less content about the marriage situation at hand and more about her own personal life. Fine, I guess, but not really what I was hoping for. For that reason, I found much of it boring and uninspiring, and I skimmed through far too much of it. Of the 350ish pages, I'd guess less than a 100 of it was about the relationship and her husband's crisis, which is what I was looking for. So while there were some key points that have helped me in my own mind, there was a lot of content (too much) for such little substance.
May 11, 2010
I am not certain that I can do justice to this book. It had such a profound impact on my approach to life, to my marriage, that I am still processing what to do with this information. Ms. Munson presents her story in such a forthright manner, her pain and terror at what is occurring in her marriage is palable and at times very uncomfortable to read. I alternated between not wanting to put myself through the anguish but curiosity to see how her philosophy worked in the end. I forced myself to read one page at a time, as it was meant to be read. After all, if she did not know how her experiment was going to end when she started it, how fair is it for the reader to jump ahead and read her conclusions? The journey Ms. Munson goes on during this one summer is the beauty of the story.
How can I describe This Is Not The Story You Think It Is? The frontpiece of the novel informs the reader that it is a memoir. Of that, there is no doubt. However, it is so much more than just a memoir. It is a change of life, a new philosophy that Ms. Munson uncovers one summer as she struggles to find happiness in a situation she never considered she would face. It is a self-help book in every essence of the word, as Ms. Munson shares with the reader her own effort to help herself find happiness and peace.
There are so many gems in this book; I found myself wanting to break out the highlighter to showcase sentence after sentence that resonated with me at a deep level.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." (pg. 61)
"It's when you stop wanting outside of your control, that you'll be happy." (pg. 4)
"Our happiness is not outside ourselves. It's all here. In us. It always was." (pg. 116)
For someone with low self-esteem, what life-changing words! Words are just words and can only upset us if we let them. We each generate our own happiness. If you take them to heart, can you imagine the peace, the relief you would feel? I can. Make no mistake, Ms. Munson fought this lesson. It was a battle that took her four months to win, and even then, it was a day-to-day victory. But the end result was worth the battle, and that is what counts.
This Is Not The Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness is an amazing story of patience, fortitude and love - love of life, love of self, love of family. Whether she believes it or not, Laura Munson is a wise woman, and we would do well to heed her words of wisdom.
How can I describe This Is Not The Story You Think It Is? The frontpiece of the novel informs the reader that it is a memoir. Of that, there is no doubt. However, it is so much more than just a memoir. It is a change of life, a new philosophy that Ms. Munson uncovers one summer as she struggles to find happiness in a situation she never considered she would face. It is a self-help book in every essence of the word, as Ms. Munson shares with the reader her own effort to help herself find happiness and peace.
There are so many gems in this book; I found myself wanting to break out the highlighter to showcase sentence after sentence that resonated with me at a deep level.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." (pg. 61)
"It's when you stop wanting outside of your control, that you'll be happy." (pg. 4)
"Our happiness is not outside ourselves. It's all here. In us. It always was." (pg. 116)
For someone with low self-esteem, what life-changing words! Words are just words and can only upset us if we let them. We each generate our own happiness. If you take them to heart, can you imagine the peace, the relief you would feel? I can. Make no mistake, Ms. Munson fought this lesson. It was a battle that took her four months to win, and even then, it was a day-to-day victory. But the end result was worth the battle, and that is what counts.
This Is Not The Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness is an amazing story of patience, fortitude and love - love of life, love of self, love of family. Whether she believes it or not, Laura Munson is a wise woman, and we would do well to heed her words of wisdom.
August 3, 2016
This was the best book I read in 2010. And having read it once, I want to read it again. This simple, unassuming debut is such an important book, as I told Munson when I wrote her via facebook. The handful of friends with whom I've shared Season Of Unlikely Happiness also love it.
Munson writes well, utilizing an 'I' voice that inserts you deeply into her mind. Her portrayal of her darker side, which she treats as a character named Sheila, is both funny and painfully honest.
But it's the message that makes this book so special. Munson shows us — men and women alike — how to love. Specifically, how to love with commitment, but without losing oneself. Her writing is crammed with pearls of wisdom and truths. As a recent divorcee, I admire Munson in multiple ways for how she conducted herself during her summer of marital strife. She confided only in carefully selected friends who would not take sides. I also credit her husband for seeing the light about his errors, taking responsibility — and then thanking her.
With 'Season Of Unlikely Happiness', Munson has gone a long way toward restoring my faith in love.
Munson writes well, utilizing an 'I' voice that inserts you deeply into her mind. Her portrayal of her darker side, which she treats as a character named Sheila, is both funny and painfully honest.
But it's the message that makes this book so special. Munson shows us — men and women alike — how to love. Specifically, how to love with commitment, but without losing oneself. Her writing is crammed with pearls of wisdom and truths. As a recent divorcee, I admire Munson in multiple ways for how she conducted herself during her summer of marital strife. She confided only in carefully selected friends who would not take sides. I also credit her husband for seeing the light about his errors, taking responsibility — and then thanking her.
With 'Season Of Unlikely Happiness', Munson has gone a long way toward restoring my faith in love.
July 6, 2010
I downloaded the sample of this book to my Kindle and decided the author was too whiny and too WASP-y for me to buy it. The first few pages MUST have nagged in the back of my brain, though, as I finally journeyed to the library to pick up this book.
Turns out, once I got over the fact that she was, indeed, whiny and WASP-y, that I really did get caught up in her journey of being the creator of her own happiness. The story definitely has some strikingly awkward writing [she is a fan of flashbacks and rants and reminding the novel that HER story- especially certain parts- are being written to help YOU, the reader (despite the fact that I, as a reader, am very capable of picking out the snippets that are most meaningful to me):]. This novel made me pause in contemplation here-and-there, tear up at parts, and, yes, I even ended up rooting for her and her husband.
This book went from being one that I couldn't bring myself to pay for... to one which I'd like to have on my bookshelf to read again. So, I guess I'll consider it a 'good read.'
Turns out, once I got over the fact that she was, indeed, whiny and WASP-y, that I really did get caught up in her journey of being the creator of her own happiness. The story definitely has some strikingly awkward writing [she is a fan of flashbacks and rants and reminding the novel that HER story- especially certain parts- are being written to help YOU, the reader (despite the fact that I, as a reader, am very capable of picking out the snippets that are most meaningful to me):]. This novel made me pause in contemplation here-and-there, tear up at parts, and, yes, I even ended up rooting for her and her husband.
This book went from being one that I couldn't bring myself to pay for... to one which I'd like to have on my bookshelf to read again. So, I guess I'll consider it a 'good read.'
October 15, 2014
It was good - well you take what you need from it and as long as you can see it in that way it was good. Unlike the author (this was a memoir) I don't have a husband who wants to leave, who doubts his love for me nor is having a midlife crisis. But, it allowed me much thought about the role that expectations play in a marriage and when to speak up and when not to and what to say when you do speak and the importance of finding happiness within.
She asked us to not judge her and her way of handling the situation and more importantly not to judge her husband. I was glad she continued to remind the reader to withhold judgement of him throughout her story as many times I so badly wanted to judge him. She was right.
I wonder if she would have published this story no matter the outcome of their troubles.
She asked us to not judge her and her way of handling the situation and more importantly not to judge her husband. I was glad she continued to remind the reader to withhold judgement of him throughout her story as many times I so badly wanted to judge him. She was right.
I wonder if she would have published this story no matter the outcome of their troubles.
Read
February 7, 2017It's fascinating to watch Laura honestly explore her thoughts as her marriage begins to unravel, although the promise of remaining mindful and responsible for her own happiness is not fulfilled for most of the book. However, she has a rich way of describing her inner workings and material externals, the sensory pleasures from her grandmother's china, her child's smile, her horse's mane, kind of May Sarton-esque. This is one of the reasons I turn to memoir, to see what people do with the moments of their lives.
November 16, 2014
LOVE Laura Munson and LOVE this book. highly recommend
May 7, 2019
Attended a worthwhile 1-day writing workshop with Laura Munson, the author. Always interesting to read a book by someone you've met. The lessons she learned writing this memoir carry through to who she is today.
May 25, 2016
When the author's husband of 15 years announced that he didn't love her anymore and was moving out, the author began keeping a real time journal of the days and weeks that followed. The fact that this occurred just after she had made a personal spiritual commitment to be responsible for her own happiness (no blaming, no dodging personal accountability, no waiting for the perfect life, etc.) added a whole new dimension to the experience. (The Universe loves a well-timed challenge.) This book is the end result of that journal.
This book earned 5 stars from me, in part, because I've never read another memoir like it. Many people have written about the hell of living in marriages broken by addiction, abuse, neglect, and poverty. If you have survived a marriage with those challenges, don't read this book -- it will only sound like so much whining. But if you have struggled with the garden variety of marital challenges -- career disappointment, the loss of once-cherished dreams, aging and its assault on identity, boredom -- you may find much to relate to in the pages of this book. I know I did. And I know that these seemingly smaller issues can challenge a marriage just as surely as the bigger ones do.
Here are my reasons for giving this book 5 stars: 1) It is unique (see above), and the real-time style lets the reader share the experience without knowing the ending (just as the author lived it). 2) The author is wonderfully honest about her success (or lack of it) in living up to her spiritual commitment. Sometimes she actually does manage to be her higher self in the face of extreme relationship duress, and sometimes, she just locks herself in the bedroom and drinks wine! 3) It often reminded me of my own marriage (the good, the bad, and the ugly), and in doing that, it validated my own experience and gave me new insight. 4) It was set in Montana, a place I've always wanted to visit. (And, okay, that last reason wasn't really why it got 5 stars, but I do like reading about life in those wide open spaces!)
This book earned 5 stars from me, in part, because I've never read another memoir like it. Many people have written about the hell of living in marriages broken by addiction, abuse, neglect, and poverty. If you have survived a marriage with those challenges, don't read this book -- it will only sound like so much whining. But if you have struggled with the garden variety of marital challenges -- career disappointment, the loss of once-cherished dreams, aging and its assault on identity, boredom -- you may find much to relate to in the pages of this book. I know I did. And I know that these seemingly smaller issues can challenge a marriage just as surely as the bigger ones do.
Here are my reasons for giving this book 5 stars: 1) It is unique (see above), and the real-time style lets the reader share the experience without knowing the ending (just as the author lived it). 2) The author is wonderfully honest about her success (or lack of it) in living up to her spiritual commitment. Sometimes she actually does manage to be her higher self in the face of extreme relationship duress, and sometimes, she just locks herself in the bedroom and drinks wine! 3) It often reminded me of my own marriage (the good, the bad, and the ugly), and in doing that, it validated my own experience and gave me new insight. 4) It was set in Montana, a place I've always wanted to visit. (And, okay, that last reason wasn't really why it got 5 stars, but I do like reading about life in those wide open spaces!)
September 18, 2018
It was like reading a book as if it were a reality TV show. The author gave you a glimpse of what was in her mind, as she went through some life changing events. She takes a new approach to life that helps her make choices of how to react, not only to survive, but also grow as a person during the process. This book will really make you stop and think about how to react the next time you are faced with one of life's challenges. What affect will the outcome have on, not only you, but all the other people involved?
Read
May 23, 2010Like many other readers perhaps I first heard of Munson's situation when reading her guest piece in The New York Times Modern Love column. The overwhelming number of readers'responses to that "I-Don't-Love-You/I-Don't-Buy-It" column caused the paper to temporarily shut down the comments section for it.
One quickly becomes to care about Laura Munson as she struggles to use what she has been practicing - staying with her strengths and internal equilibrium rather than turning angry or sunken victim. Her core theme in response to her husband was "Choose freedom, not suffering. Create a life of freedom, not wanting. "
I enjoyed reading about her family life before meeting her husband, the way they met and the nature of their early and seemingly enduring bond. These parts of the book help the reader understand why and how she took her unusual path to respond to his announcement that he wasn't sure he loved her anymore and he was planning to leave their Montana farmhouse and move into town.
Yet I had anticipated, from the descriptions of the book that more of it would cover the actual interaction during that troubled time after the announcement. She does deftly cover that time yet, perhaps aptly, the major of the book is about her often internal, spiritual journey to become fully her own person in life. That she begins this memoir during the "troubled summer" - and is writing it in real time as it unfolds is breathtakingly brave. After all, she did not know if her marriage would survive -- and she frequently refers to her 14 unpublished novels.
The success of this book, then, must be doubly sweet for her.
Ultimately her avowed goal of non-attachment seemed in conflict with her clear attachment to staying married yet one can't help but be happy that this marriage appears to be saved and seemingly strengthened by, not just her steps towards freedom but his markedly improved behavior towards her. Sounds like a plot for Lifetime TV.
One quickly becomes to care about Laura Munson as she struggles to use what she has been practicing - staying with her strengths and internal equilibrium rather than turning angry or sunken victim. Her core theme in response to her husband was "Choose freedom, not suffering. Create a life of freedom, not wanting. "
I enjoyed reading about her family life before meeting her husband, the way they met and the nature of their early and seemingly enduring bond. These parts of the book help the reader understand why and how she took her unusual path to respond to his announcement that he wasn't sure he loved her anymore and he was planning to leave their Montana farmhouse and move into town.
Yet I had anticipated, from the descriptions of the book that more of it would cover the actual interaction during that troubled time after the announcement. She does deftly cover that time yet, perhaps aptly, the major of the book is about her often internal, spiritual journey to become fully her own person in life. That she begins this memoir during the "troubled summer" - and is writing it in real time as it unfolds is breathtakingly brave. After all, she did not know if her marriage would survive -- and she frequently refers to her 14 unpublished novels.
The success of this book, then, must be doubly sweet for her.
Ultimately her avowed goal of non-attachment seemed in conflict with her clear attachment to staying married yet one can't help but be happy that this marriage appears to be saved and seemingly strengthened by, not just her steps towards freedom but his markedly improved behavior towards her. Sounds like a plot for Lifetime TV.
March 10, 2012
*Choosing happiness over suffering*
In the beginning of this memoir, Laura shares her Author's Statement of: "I write to shine a light on an otherwise dim or even pitchblack corner, to provide relief for myself and others."
And, this Reader's Reaction to that Author's Statement is: "Your light shines on. And on. And on."
A poignant, real-time, down-to-earth, and unforgettable journey, _This Is Not The Story You Think It Is_ gives us all something to think about. Specifically, how we can take responsibility for our own lives and choose not to suffer. Or in Laura's own well-lived words, learn to "choose happiness over suffering."
Sure, there are scads of self-help books that promote this approach. But, Laura demonstrates how it is carried out in "real life." After a lifetime of exhaustingly trying to find happiness from outside sources, Laura finally embarks upon the healing and empowering truth of: "Our happiness is not outside ourselves. It's all here. In us. It always was."
As she allows us to witness her transformational journey through darkness, she indeed shines light and provides relief. Mission accomplished....above and beyond.
In the beginning of this memoir, Laura shares her Author's Statement of: "I write to shine a light on an otherwise dim or even pitchblack corner, to provide relief for myself and others."
And, this Reader's Reaction to that Author's Statement is: "Your light shines on. And on. And on."
A poignant, real-time, down-to-earth, and unforgettable journey, _This Is Not The Story You Think It Is_ gives us all something to think about. Specifically, how we can take responsibility for our own lives and choose not to suffer. Or in Laura's own well-lived words, learn to "choose happiness over suffering."
Sure, there are scads of self-help books that promote this approach. But, Laura demonstrates how it is carried out in "real life." After a lifetime of exhaustingly trying to find happiness from outside sources, Laura finally embarks upon the healing and empowering truth of: "Our happiness is not outside ourselves. It's all here. In us. It always was."
As she allows us to witness her transformational journey through darkness, she indeed shines light and provides relief. Mission accomplished....above and beyond.
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